ephraim - Today at 4:02 PM
let go
me go

kaito - Today at 4:02 PM
no

ephraim - Today at 4:02 PM
let me go

kaito - Today at 4:02 PM
no

ephraim - Today at 4:02 PM
you will get better
find better

kaito - Today at 4:02 PM
you're the only good im ever going to get, ephraim
everyone else has treated me like utter shit
youre not one of those people
i literally owe my life to you
if you hadn't talked to me who knows where i'd be in life now
certainly wouldn't be as confident with moving out than i am now
certainly wouldn't be looking forward to the future
certainly wouldn't be interested in marrying someone so soon after getting into a relationship
i feel so strongly attracted to you because you actually give a shit about me
you dont want to use me, you let me consent to anything we're doing, you stop if im uncomfortable
you don't want to materialise me
you dont want to hurt me
this is all so new and its hard for me to experience it all at the same time but its happening and for that i owe you so much
so so much
i couldn't ask for anyone better than you, ephraim
you really do make me so happy
and i want to make you just as happy too
so please, stay with me, ok
we'll help fix each other
i want to spend the rest of my life with you
please, ephraim
i really do love you
i really want to marry you and see your dorky face light up
i cannot wait for that day

ephraim - Today at 4:08 PM
let me go

kaito - Today at 4:08 PM
n
n
no
i wont because i love you and i care about you
and i know that your life will get so much better soon
please believe me

ephraim - Today at 4:09 PM
i believe
let me go

kaito - Today at 4:11 PM
?
i dont want to

ephraim - Today at 4:11 PM
it will probably end up like they all say
not positive
let me go
let me fucking die

kaito - Today at 4:13 PM
no

ephraim - Today at 4:13 PM
you're just saying all this so you can keep me to yourself
what more do you want from me

kaito - Today at 4:13 PM
what

ephraim - Today at 4:13 PM
you just want to keep me
you are going to end up like the rest of them

kaito - Today at 4:14 PM
i dont understand

ephraim - Today at 4:14 PM
you are going to bait me with love and comfort and make me feel like i am loved
you are going to take everything from me

kaito - Today at 4:14 PM
no
thats

ephraim - Today at 4:14 PM
they all have

kaito - Today at 4:14 PM
thats not my intention

ephraim - Today at 4:14 PM
what makes you different

kaito - Today at 4:14 PM
i promise

ephraim - Today at 4:15 PM
what makes you different from the rest of those grubby thieves that bait me and use me

kaito - Today at 4:15 PM
what makes me different is that ive experienced the same thing
ive been used
ive been stolen from
ive literally thought suicide was the answer
i told you this already
i could have jumped from that bridge if i really wanted to
no one would have stopped me
i would never ever wish that kind of pain on anyone
not even on the people i hate the most
because its such a disgusting feeling afterwards
you feel so happy that youre with someone who you think cares about you and suddenly everything is stripped away like a flash of light
and the more you think about it, the more obvious it was that they used you and you were too blind to even notice it because your thoughts and feelings were too far into the ploy of manipulation
and yes it fucking hurts
its the worst feeling ive ever had
ive got it from both ex partners and my family
and i still have to deal with the latter for one more year
ive dealt with this shit too, ephraim
i know what its like
thats why it's not my intention to hurt you
because i want to see you happy
i want you to know that you actually have someone here to relate to
who has experienced things you have
who will ultimately always be there for you, regardless of what happens

ephraim - Today at 4:19 PM
it feels so weird watching you compare both our lives as if we went through the same exact occurrences every step of the way with the same quantities
but carry on

kaito - Today at 4:19 PM
i mean
ive not experienced just as much as you have
but i meant in a way that we've experienced the same subjects
enough to have a mutual understanding of the feelings
and i'm scared, ok
i'm scared for you
i worry about you so often
whenever you get upset, i fear you'll do something stupid and end up getting yourself into a mess
but whenever youre here
whenever you talk to me
like i said, time goes by so quickly
i don't even notice what happens most of the time around me because im so content on just talking to you
seeing how you are
listening to what your day was like
listening to activities you did
it makes me genuinely happy to know that youre happy
i only have those two selfies of you smiling on my phone
the rest are tucked away in discord somewhere
but i keep them because whenever i feel sad i'll go back to them
ill remind myself that you're ok
that you're happy
because if you're happy, then so am i
and it brings me such joy knowing that one day ill be able to see that smile for as long as i wish
i wont have to pretend im kissing you anymore, and ill be able to kiss you in real life
i'll be able to hug you and cuddle you and keep you warm and safe
and give you the support you need for when you feel sad
and it wont be just me supporting you
ive told a lot of my friends about you, and they're all so eager to meet you
even other internet friends from britain are tempted to come down when you do so they can see you together
thats just how much of an influence youve been on my life, ephraim
you've made me so happy that i just cant stop talking about you
i send an average of 5 screenshots per day to toki from our conversations
and whilst she doesnt reply with much, she knows that i never would have done this with anyone else i was in a relationship with prior to this one
my irl friends
hayden, dominic, elliott
theyve seen an improvement in my mood so much that they dont actually ask me how i am anymore
they know im ok
because im with you
it's such a wonderful feeling
i don't feel unsafe or at risk anymore
and i honestly want you to feel the same
and i know its hard sometimes for me to show how much i care about you
im not good with my words like that
but i can prove it with my actions
ill give you so much more love than i can already give now to you when we meet
and i promise you with all my heart ill make it count
i wont let anyone hurt you again
there's no moon without the sun
there is no life without the sun
there is no joy without the sun
you are wanted a lot more than you think
and i am here to help you
to support you
to love you and care for you and look after you
i'm not like those who hurt you
i see a future for us and it is just as bright as you
so please spend it with me
you are such a wonderful and amazing and wonderous human being
im so glad you exist
i'm so glad you're here