a guest May 20th, 2019 65 Never
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- Have you ever heard the word soulmate? Most have it tends to represent someone you know was meant to be yours. The final feeling of this is it. This is the person im to be with. But sometimes you can lose yours. You found them but then you left know you would regret it all your life. Even if a soul mate isnt a thing. There will always be that feeling your missing something or missing someone you lost. I believe there is one person we will always care for most in our even if we moved on if we had the chance we would drop it all and go back to them. For me there is always that and for me. It’s my Daddy Alex. He is a wonderful person honestly. Why am I typing this while drunk and high. Dunno but ill continue. I was trying to figure out a painless way to finally kill myself. But then I met Daddy Alex. He was I remember the first time we met. He had his avatar set to a roleplay with a kingdom he lost I believe. He hand had a soul trapped in him and I tried to poke its eye. I remember first thing I did was face plant in the floor. Im good at doign that in real life too. Oh look I suddenly fell. XD Im clumsy. But yeah he offered silly straws and I had my own. I remember the first time he was trying to see if I had a daddy. We were in that white house with fruit plants everywhere.
- I tried to lie that day that I wasn’t who I was. It was attempt to try and block you from getting closer. Because I was fond of you from the start. And I had a daddy so id try to shove you away. You didn’t budge one bit from me. We made a new accoutn together he helped me think of his name and I helped him with his. I love his new name though because of how perfect a mesh my and his name goes together while being different. I fell for daddy alex because at the start he was never harming me. OH MY GOD I REMEMBER THE TIME I TRIED TO CUFF HIM WITH MAGIC CUFFS. Wait WHY DOES HE KNOW HOW TO GET OUT HANDCUFFS. He told me he knows how to get out of handcuffs. I remember the first we almost had sex. But I freaked a bit and it stopped. Oh my god that story is embarrassing. Why do I remember random events. But what I love the most is the fact he gives himself to me. That even despite knowing literally everything about me and anything I remember say and sometimes I repeat. But he knows it all the good, bad and monstereous yet he loves me. I do miss him though greatly. I don’t understand why but its going 1-2 weeks and I have barely heard from you all of this month of may. About once on the tenth of our aniversary and once on the 18th yesterday. It makes me confused…
- I don’t know whats going on… but it isnt right…it isnt…because cant daddy at least tell me say today is the the 19th and he messaged me today. Sweety im sorry but ill be gone until the 26th please be a good girl and daddy will be safe don’t worry. Why is a text like even too much… since when is wanting some texts too much.. texts to ensure safety and knowing when you come back.. why is it for daddy to do that..
- Sooo soo hard…
- It hurts me greatly and honestly. I feel unimportant. I feel ignored and abanoned I know daddy isnt meaning to come across that way. But you going silent on me for weeks at a time. To a point I start to count yet again how long your gonna be gone this time. Because each time we talk you don’t even say good bye anymore. Do you know how much it hurts when we are in the middle of talking that suddenly silent for days to week and not evren a good bye. One time you did a brb left imvu and were gone weeks. …. we arent spending any time together.. im miserable. Each time your gone even right now im trying to guess how long its gonna be till you talk again.
- Im guessing at least a week. Because it hurts to know that I cant even be given the time of day. You don’t come across meaning to. But you no longer texting and barely keep a connection to me makes me feel liek you don’t want me and have better things to do then even give one simple text to tell me your busy for a week or two and tell me the date you will retunr. EVEN THATSS TO MUCH. I feel unwanted I know for a fact 100% you will never and will always want me. But the way your acting and not showing me is speaking to me. Your life is now to busy to even talk to your own little and girlfriend. That im not worth it and its fine to go weeks without contact. Its not okay with me. We have barely been together for two months now. We have talked maybe 5 times this and last month together. That fucking hurts to have so little contact and no matter what I say or do you just cant see what im saying and your so dense you don’t realize how much im in pain daddy you don’t understand the mental abuse I go through while you just leave me in the dark. My brain tells me how much of a burden I am what I do is bad and it oftens says its better for you to have someone else. Itll torture me endlessy utnil I know your okay. Ill cry to sleep out of pain and worry. I literally sob at times from how much it hurts and you don’t even realize or know how much im hurting… It juist wont stick in your head how much your lack of talking and basically ignornring me damages me mentally. Itll make my trust go down and itll make me hurt mentally and psyhcially in my heart. I am a attention type and for months now you barely talking. I have had enough.
- I need you to see how much your hurting me and you cant see it at all. It sucks so hard. And I try and try and try what do I have to do video call you SHOW YOU THE EMOTION IN MY VOICE. So it finally sticks your literally hurting me badly and you cant see it. No matter how much I scream that im in pain and it hurts for you to ignore me. You need to finally see you not talking even if your busy you always have TIME to send off one text. Your life cant be so busy you cant even text me for days and then we talk not say good bye. This shit isnt okay your lack of behavior isnt okay. I fall back to shit. Right now im fucking drunk and high trying to erase the pain of the fact you probably if I send this wont see this for a week or more. NO I DON’T WANT YOU TO BEAT YOURSELF UP I WANT YOUU TO ANSWER AND REPLY TO ME. I want you understand the pain. Imagine this in reverse roles, say I ignored you and was too busy and geniuly busy that I ignored you for weeks and not even let you know if im okay or when ill be back. How would you feel to swallow that pill down? You cant see how much damage your doing to me and I CANT STAND IT YOU DOONT REALIZE IT. Your so wonderful but a dense motherfucker in knowing your hurting someone.
- I love you but I cant tolerate this behavior. Ill send and when your done reading this we need to talk about why you cant even send one god damn text about busyness. Its unfair to me and pretty fucking cruel. And im putting my foot down. Because im done with your behavior YOU ARE GONNA LEARN YOUR MENTALLY DAMAGING ME. YOU ARE GONNA LEARN ITS NOT OKAY TO GO WEEKS WITHOUT SAY AND NOT EVEN SAYING WHY TILL YOUR BACK. Your behiavor is not okay. I want to voice call use my voice and you type to talk this out fully just so you realize the damage your doing to me. If I cant voice call I want to next day. I love you but im done trying to explain your hurting me and you not learning
- I GOT REALLY FUCKING HIGH AND I WAS TRIYNG TO WRITE A SHORT STORRY THEN MY MIND WENT YOU AND YOU NEED TO READ THIS RIGHT AWAY
- i may seem fucking crazy or rude in this but i need to tell you exactly how this is affecting me and making me feel. or nothing will ever be solved.
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