I'm going to eat some Greek food and some spicy curry so I can have the texture of the shit perfect. I then will begin jerking off on the toilet while I prepare my shit, while jerking  I will start doing my nose exercises to induce a sneeze. I then trigger the sneeze at the perfect moment and use its force to propel the shit out of my ass as well as the cum out of my dick creating the most amazing sensation known to man.