Finding Your Inner Potato…
...And Killing it…

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What IS a potato? What is it thinking, where does it come from, and how do we keep it away from us? Why do potatoes exist?
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These are the questions that potatoes are unable to answer… Actually, they are unable to ASK them as well. So, without further ado, I will attempt to shed some light on the whole potato phenomenon.
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“Potato” in the realm of WoT is not just a noun. It is also a verb, adjective, and adverb. In English the sentence, “potatoes potato potato potato,” makes complete sense.
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To be potato is most often a transient, ephemeral state of existence. One does not simply potato all of the time for the most part. It is a mood, a feeling, and state of being. This stage of existence, no matter how brief, can be triggered by distractions, stress, sleep deprivation, alcohol consumption, righteous bong rips, or inane and idle chatter. Overconfidence also plays a huge role in one going full-potato and skidding into the skillet after being sliced and diced.
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While potato, potatoing, or being potatoesque, one does NOT think. This IS the issue. To potato is the opposite of a reflex or reaction. A true potato moment involves little or no thought at all. Potatoes roll to their destination without really knowing why they are going there. While an aware and cognizant individual immediately pulls his hand away from an unexpected searing surface, a potato not only keeps his hand there, but also wants to know what smells so good. While aware we come to a complete stop, use our directional, look both ways and then proceed through the intersection. While potato we fiddle with the radio, leave the parking brake on, and pick pieces of windshield out of our forehead wondering when the tree moved into the road.
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To avoid potato, avoid playing while at-risk events or issues are occurring. Are you having an argument with your spouse? Put the mouse down, do not press battle, and find a resolution or offer false promises before playing. Did you just have all that beer? Did you chase it with all that other beer? Stop playing tanks and enjoy being tanked. Is the kitchen engulfed in flames? Leave the house. Are your babies crying? Attend to their diapers! Do you need to void or defecate? Cut a hole in your chair and put a bucket underneath…
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Listen, all of us potato. There is no shame in it. We NEED potatoes to potato; they save all of the damage for us, they can spot large groups of enemies, they can block bridges and tumble hilariously off of cliffs and into enemies. But, please, if you have been potato so often you can’t remember the last time you made a conscious decision… Slow down. Act deliberately. Count to 5 before you do anything. Give yourself enough time to put some thought, effort, and foresight into whatever you are about to do. While we all like to play with a tuber or two, you can’t be a potato all of the time; I need a chance to potato! We all deserve some potato time!
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