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- >Berry and Lightning are unlike any fluffy ponies you've ever encountered.
- >When Sarah dropped you off, they waddled in behind you, carrying their little bags.
- >Once you set them into the play pen, they unpacked.
- >Literally. They picked a corner for their toys and unpacked their bags.
- >When that was done, they started cuddling and cooing to each other.
- >”Dis nice home fo' Bewwy, Bewwy wike. Bewwy happy bes' fwiend eva' hewe.”
- >”Wightnin' happy too. Bewwy happy, mean Wightnin' happy.”
- >They are so much like little kids.
- >God, this is going to be weird. Slate wasn't this smart.
- >You check the binder again.
- >Since you want to get them settled in first before attempting to make them...ahem, you had Sarah make a stop at the store to get their favorite treats.
- >Berry loves raspberries. Probably where she got her name.
- >Lightning loves cheese. Cheddar cheese. Extra sharp.
- “Are you hungry?”
- >They nod quietly, breaking their embrace and waddling over to the mesh side.
- >”Wucy mommy gif nummies?” Berry asks.
- >You reach into the shopping bag, plucking a raspberry out.
- “This is for you!”
- >She tentatively reaches up and gets it, waddling away and chewing.
- >For Lightning, he gets a cheddar cheese stick. You couldn't find extra sharp.
- >He takes it and eats with Berry.
- >You hear whispers of 'goo' nummies' and 'yummies make tummy happy', but they seem nervous for some reason.
- >Once they're done eating, they sit side by side and stare up at you.
- “Uh...what's wrong?”
- >Berry speaks up. ”Wucy wan' fwuffies make fun huggies now?”
- >Whoa whoa whoa wait a minute.
- “No, I was just giving you a treat.”
- >They look very confused.
- >”When daddy gif bes' nummies, a'ways say fwuffies make fun huggies den,” Lightning explains.
- >”Fwuffies make huggies now,” Berry nods.
- >She waddles to the center of the pen and drops down.
- >More accurately, her front half drops down. Her rear end, tail raised, is standing up.
- >Lightning wanders over, nuzzling at her fluff.
- >”Make bes' huggies,” he coos.
- “Uh, wait a second...”
- >They both look up at you and blink.
- >”Make fun huggies now, wike Wucy wan'!” Berry chirps.
- “I didn't want you to, though.”
- >They blink again, their looks becoming uncertain.
- >”Wucy no wan' fwuffies make babehs?”
- >At the mention of babies, Berry begins to sniffle.
- >”Miss babehs, wan' babehs back, Bewwy wuv babehs...”
- >Lightning hugs her rear end – not in a mount – but still looks up at you for confirmation.
- “Well, yes, I do...”
- >”Wightnin' weady!” he says, changing his caring hug to a determined mounting.
- >Berry squeaks with surprise, but closes her eyes tightly and waits.
- “No, not right now!”
- >Lightning dismounts and walks around to Berry's left side.
- >”Wucy gif tweat! Tweat mean fun huggies, make babehs!”
- >”Baaaaabehs...” Berry whines.
- >You look at the binder notes again.
- >Nowhere in the pages does it say 'cheese and raspberries means fuck time'.
- >You're actually going to have to explain how things work now.
- “When I want you to make...uh...fun huggies, I'll tell you. Right now, I just want you to get used to your new home.”
- >Lightning is still mounted to his mate, but not thrusting. Berry is waiting for him to start.
- >”Weggies huwt...make huggies pwease, Bewwy wan' pway...”
- >”Eenf!”
- >Lightning does as she wishes, and begins thrusting.
- “Stop that!”
- >He does, looking utterly bewildered.
- >”Bu' is fun huggies time!”
- “It is not fun huggies time until I say it is!”
- >They both start trembling at your accidentally too strong tone.
- >Berry stands up and clings to Lightning. They both look at you with terrified eyes.
- >Facepalm and sigh.
- “I didn't mean to yell, I'm sorry.”
- >”Wucy wan' babehs, bu' no wan' babehs?” Lightning asks timidly.
- “I do want babies, but later.”
- >”Babehs...no' wan' now? Babehs...” he struggles.
- >Looks like alicorns, despite their intelligence, still have issues with the concept of time.
- >At least, time not related to baby-making.
- >Perhaps it'd help if you put it into a command form.
- >That should appeal to their training...if they have any.
- “When I want babies, I'll tell you. Okay?”
- >They relax a little and nod. “Wucy say if wan' babehs. Okay,” Berry confirms. “Can pway now?”
- “Sure, go play.”
- >Berry squeals happily and dashes unsteadily over to her blocks.
- >”Bwockies fun! Wuv bwockies!”
- >Lightning is still looking at you, plopped down on his haunches and fluttering his wings restlessly.
- >”Daddy say gif tweat, den make fun huggies...”
- “That's nice, but I'm not your daddy. I'm going to take things slow.”
- >”Wha' tings? Whewe take? Wucy...Wucy take fwuffies 'way?”
- “No, it's a figure—never mind.”
- >Oh, screw it. Half the people you meet don't understand how English works, no way these fluffies will.
- >”Wha' figuwe? Figuwe nummies? Figuwe new fwiend?”
- >Berry looks back. “New fwiend? Whewe is? Wan' huggies an' pway!”
- >They spend the next couple of moments shouting for Figure, their non-existent new friend.
- >So much for the 'increased intelligence' of the alicorn.
- >”No can fin' new fwiend Figuwe, Figuwe no wan' pway wif fwuffies,” Berry sniffles.
- “There is no figure, Berry.”
- >”Bu' Wucy say figuwe! Wha' figuwe mean, if no new fwiend?”
- “It's just a word, don't worry about it.”
- >”Bu'...dunno wha' mean...”
- >Oh great, they're curious and only mostly sentient.
- >You sit down at the desk and sigh a little, rubbing your forehead.
- >”Wucy haf owwies?” Berry asks.
- >And perceptive! Wonderful.
- “I'm okay, go on and play with your blocks.”
- >Berry does just that, tossing them to Lightning with her stubby legs. He tosses them back.
- >”Bwockies fwy! Fwy fun!” they giggle.
- >You watch them play. Yes, it's incredibly cute.
- >It's human child cute.
- >Sarah really expects you to make these things have sex, produce kids, and then sell them?
- >They call you by name!
- >They have actual longer-than-goldfish attention spans!
- >”Bewwy wuv Wightnin', bes' fwiend! Pway bwockies, haf fun!”
- >And they're a god damn couple!
- >Another sigh. A longer one.
- >The happy fluffies don't really notice.
- >You try to distract yourself with your laptop, but only about twenty minutes pass.
- >”Wucy hooman?” Lightning calls, waddling to the mesh wall nearest your chair.
- >Berry has cut the game short, quietly saying 'make goo' peepees in wittabocks' as she does her business there.
- >You swivel in your chair to face the electric blue alicorn.
- “What is it, sweetie?”
- >”Bewwy no wan' pway anymo'. Is make babeh time wike Wucy say now?”
- >Facepalm again.
- “No, Lightning...”
- >It hasn't even been four hours, and you're already missing dumber fluffy ponies.
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