BurnoutAnon

BurnoutAnon At School - Monday

May 20th, 2017
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  1. 1
  2. >You are Anon
  3. >And you'd made it to Monday
  4. >You'd never been so happy to make it to a school day
  5. >Sunday hadn't been so bad
  6. >You spent the morning calling or texting all the girls
  7. >And luckily you only mixed up like one or two texts
  8. >That was awkward, but apparently being a little awkward was one of your best features
  9. >Or at least that's what Rarity and AJ told you
  10. >Later Pinkie had come over
  11. >You hadn't been sure what to expect
  12. >But your parents had made sure things didn't get hot or heavy
  13. >They'd taken the news surprisingly well
  14. >But that just meant that for the first time ever they weren't going to leave you and Pinkie alone in your room
  15. >So you spent the evening watching cartoons together on the couch
  16. >The lewdest thing that happened was you held hands
  17. >At least til you walked her home
  18. >Then she kissed you for so long you might wanna think of getting an oxygen mask
  19. >After that you made your way to the drug store and picked up something very important
  20. >Condoms
  21. >Lots of condoms
  22. >The girls may have said it was okay to cum inside them the other night, but you weren't taking anymore chances
  23. >No shotgun weddings for you
  24. >But now as you walked to school you felt pretty good
  25. >Sure things were still kind of weird
  26. >But your confidence was at an all time high as you strolled towards school feeling good for once
  27. > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1Du0FONhGs
  28. >That was when you got a text from AJ
  29. >AJ: Hey Anon, I just wanted to say before you get to school me and Rarity are sorry
  30. >That can't be good
  31. A: What did you two do?
  32. >AJ: Well turns out Applebloom may have heard me and Mac talking about our relationship and may have told her friends
  33. >That didn't seem too bad
  34. >Wait, one of Bloom's friends was Sweetiebell
  35. >And Sweetiebell had a big mouth
  36. >That's when you notice people pointing and staring at you as you walk in
  37. >"Dude" One of your teammates cries wrapping an arm around you "Tell me how you snagged six bitches at once"
  38. >Fuck
  39. 2
  40. >Now there were a few things you'd consider outside of your comfort zone
  41. >But to say you didn't like being the center of attention was, to be fair, an incredible understatement
  42. >You'd only gotten through dressing out in your jersey on your first game day because you'd loved the surprised look on everybody's faces
  43. >But right now you were definitely the WRONG kind of center of attention
  44. >Some girls were giving you some very dirty looks
  45. >And then there were some who were giving you the opposite
  46. >Like they figured if that many girls wanted to date you there must be something they were missing out on
  47. >There wasn't of course
  48. >But you weren't going to waste time explaining that to them
  49. >Mostly because you could see a few guys from Rarity's fan club eyeing you like they wanted to have words with you
  50. >So you duck out of your buddies' hold and tell him you'll talk later
  51. >Really you just need to get away before anyone else starts trying to ask you about things and your business becomes the talk of the school
  52. >More than it already is you mean
  53. >You book it to first period and grab your seat near the back and slump face down
  54. >There are a few murmurs here and there, but it seems like no one is gutsy enough to talk to you about it
  55. >Lucky you
  56. >Fuck you could use a smoke
  57. >Unfortunately you were only able to sneak away to do that because no one ever noticed you were gone
  58. >Now though
  59. >Now everyone was noticing you
  60. >There goes your comfortable background character status
  61. >least things were quiet for now
  62. >"Hey Anon"
  63. >Why do you do this to yourself
  64. >You look up and see Sunset and Twilight staring down at you
  65. >Oh yeah, you share first period with them
  66. >How could you forget
  67. >And they don't seem especially happy with you
  68. >"We need to talk" Says Sunset crossing her arms
  69. >Luckily her bully routine never worked on you
  70. >But she was still magic
  71. >You think
  72. >Maybe
  73. "You know, I think I might know what this is about" You say giving them your winning smile "But what exactly have you heard?"
  74. 3
  75. >That went over about as well as you figured
  76. >These two obviously weren't here for your sparkling personality
  77. >But Sunset keeps her pokerface on
  78. >And Twilight tries to look intimidating
  79. >Which is adorable
  80. >Ineffective, but adorable
  81. >"Well I called Pinkie the other day to see how the sleepover went" She says glaring at you "And imagine my surprise when she tells me how she and all our friends are now dating you"
  82. "You think you were surprised, imagine how I felt" You say in a Rodney Dangerfield-esque way
  83. >This gets a raised eyebrow from Sunset and a confused look from Twilight before they go back to bad cop awkward cop
  84. >Yeesh, I tell ya, no respect
  85. >"So you mind explaining exactly what happened?" Sunset asks firmly
  86. >Actually you would mind, but you figure you have no choice
  87. "Sure, but exactly how much DID Pinkie tell you, because there are some things I'm pretty sure the girls would rather I not go blurting out" You say trying to sound innocent
  88. >Which you are
  89. >Sort of
  90. >like 60/40
  91. >So Sunset and Twi spill what they know
  92. >Which is basically everything
  93. >Including some of the sexy bits
  94. >Shit Pinkie what the fuck
  95. >Twi blushes but Sunset keeps a straight face
  96. "Sounds like you know pretty much everything to me" You tell them
  97. >"Really, because I think we're missing somethings here. Like how you got that" She says pointing to your bruise
  98. >Shit you forgot about that
  99. >Again
  100. >"And mostly just how in general"
  101. >It was then you notice a small device in Twi's hands
  102. >Wait a...
  103. "Hey is that your bullshit magic detector" You ask making Twi fumble with it
  104. >"What, this? No, it's a um..."
  105. "Really, you think I magic-ed all the girls to like me" You say feeling a bit hurt
  106. >Goodbye ego
  107. >"The thought may have crossed our minds" Sunset said not looking guilty at all
  108. "Oh, okay, well how about everyone here who hasn't tried to take over the school with crazy horse magic raise their hand"
  109. >Both blush as Lyra stands up cups her face and shouts "DAMMMMMN!"
  110. >Yeah, not your best moment
  111. 4
  112. >Now did it feel good to roast Twi and Sunset like that
  113. >Oh Lord yes
  114. >Was it really the best idea though to shit on friends of 5 of your 6 kinda girlfriends'
  115. >Fuck no
  116. >Time to fix this
  117. "I appreciate the assist" You say leaning past the girls and looking to Lyra "But do you mind, this is kind of private"
  118. >Bonbon quickly covered her friend/girlfriend/whatever the fuck they were's mouth and sidles them away while smiling sheepishly
  119. "Okay, now maybe that was a little harsh, but really you guys know about as much as I do for why the girls like me. Hell you probably know more because as last weekend taught me I don't understand women...like at all"
  120. >"Now that, I believe" Sunset said as her blush began to fade
  121. "Gee, thanks a lot"
  122. >"Guess we were lucky we missed the party after all" Twi added
  123. >Shit, this girl had no tact
  124. >That was almost as savage as what you'd said
  125. >And it was unintentional
  126. >That made it hurt worse
  127. >But still
  128. "Yeah, you can say that again" You sighed in agreement
  129. >Then you heard them both breath in sharply
  130. >"And what's that supposed to mean" Sunset asked looking angry
  131. >"Yeah, it sounds like you'd wouldn't want to date us" Twi added puffing out her cheeks
  132. >Now that you'd planted your foot firmly in your mouth you had to handle this gently
  133. "Yes"
  134. >Perfect
  135. >"Oh, and what's so wrong with us?" Sunset almost growled
  136. >Okay, she was starting to remind you of demon-Sunset
  137. >Time to mollify
  138. "There's nothing wrong with you two" You say hurriedly trying to think up a decent excuse or two "It's just that A, 6 girls is more than enough for me to try and handle. And B, I'm not dealing with Flash having some kind of Autistic breakdown if you two wanted to date me. I'd probably have to try to stop him from running into that statue portal to pony land you all think is so secret"
  139. >They blushed and fidgeted at that
  140. >"What portal are you...wait, what's this about Flash"
  141. >FUCK!!!!
  142. >ABORT ABORT
  143. >Luckily that's when the bell rung
  144. >Saved by the bell
  145. >At least for now
  146. 5
  147. >As soon as the teacher starts talking you slip out your phone and start texting Flash
  148. >Not like you need to pay attention anyway
  149. >What are you, some kind of nerd
  150. >Like Twi
  151. A: Heeeeey Buddy
  152. >FS:..What did you do
  153. A: I just want to tell you I'm sorry
  154. >You follow it up with like 6 frowny face emojis hoping that might soften the blow
  155. >FS: Sorry for what, and what's this I'm hearing about you dating six girls at once
  156. >That's when you remember you never got back to Flash after talking to him Saturday
  157. >Oops
  158. A: Well it's a case of good news, bad news, and worse news
  159. >FS: Well what's the good news
  160. A: The good news is I managed to fix things with Pinkie, Trixie, and Dash
  161. >FS: So what's the bad news
  162. A: Well it turns out I've actually had a sparkling personality all along and now I'm in some weird trial dating period with them, plus Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy and I have no idea what I'm doing
  163. >FS:...HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN
  164. A: I dunno, maybe it's something in the water
  165. >FS: Then what the heck is the worse news
  166. A: Oh..that...well you see I may have maybe just slightly might have accidentally mentioned to Twi and Sunset that you are into/still have feelings for them when they started giving me the third degree
  167. >There's a long pause before he replies
  168. >He's probably just having a good laugh at all of this
  169. >He's a chill dude after all
  170. >FS: WHAT FUCK DUDE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
  171. A: I SAID I WAS SORRY, IT JUST SLIPPED OUT
  172. >You notice the time and see it's already almost time for the bell to ring
  173. >Your next period is study hall
  174. >AKA ditch period
  175. >You grab your stuff as you watch the second hand tick down
  176. >As soon as the bell rings you book it out of there
  177. >Last thing you need is to stick around for another lovely chat with Twi and Sunset
  178. >You've done enough damage there
  179. >And you have a date with your first love behind the bleachers anyway
  180. >That is until you crash into something, big, solid, and red
  181. >"Anon" a deep voice thrums down at you
  182. >Oh fuck
  183. >Shit
  184. "H-hey Big Mac
  185. 6
  186. > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdIpoE2LEps
  187. >Seriously
  188. >Actually you knew this was coming
  189. >Honestly you were surprised Big Mac hadn't come to your house on Sunday to beat your ass then
  190. >Probably because he didn't know where you lived
  191. >But here he was now
  192. >Just glaring down at you
  193. >Not saying a word
  194. >Seriously, you know he's a man of few words and all but fucking say something man
  195. >No luck there
  196. >He just keeps mean mugging you
  197. >Guess you have to break the ice on possibly your own ass beating
  198. >Typical
  199. "S-so I g-guess you would like a word"
  200. >"E-yup"
  201. >Now we're getting somewhere
  202. >And you also start to notice people are circling around
  203. >Most are whispering
  204. >You don't have to think hard about what
  205. >Might as well appeal Mac's generosity
  206. "That's cool, but um, you think we could take this somewhere private"
  207. >You gesture to your impromptu audience just as one asshole in the back yells "World Star!?"
  208. >Mac looks around at the crowd making several people flinch reflexively before he grunts at you affirmatively and nods for you to follow
  209. >The crowd parts for you two as Mac marches on and you dumbly try to assure the crowd you aren't going to die via awkward and wacky hand gestures
  210. >But honestly you are sweating bullets
  211. >You just wanted a fucking smoke for crying out loud
  212. >But now you were doing this
  213. >And hey if he was going to kill you maybe you could still get one last smoke
  214. >Like a firing squad
  215. >With more fists and less bullets
  216. >All of a sudden Mac stops and you crash into him and tumble to the floor again
  217. >You realize he's moved you to a small un-populated hallway
  218. >Suddenly this no longer seems like one of your better ideas
  219. >"Alright Anon" Mac says turning around and crossing his massive arms "Let's talk"
  220. >Okay
  221. >Time to put your plan into action
  222. >What's the plan
  223. >Oh wait you don't have a plan
  224. >You have to stop coming up with ideas thinking you'll come up with a clever plan right in the nick of time
  225. >Because that never works
  226. >Shit, guess you'll try talking
  227. 7
  228. "Okay Big Mac first let me just say it's not what you think"
  229. >"Really" Big Mac said sounding unimpressed
  230. >Shit
  231. >You didn't think you'd actually get this far
  232. "Yeah man, I mean c'mon, you know me. Am I the type a guy you'd consider a lady killer"
  233. >"Nope"
  234. >Yeesh, don't pull any punches on my account
  235. >Wait
  236. >No
  237. >Pull all of your punches
  238. >In fact don't even throw any of them
  239. >Embrace pacifism and find enlightenment
  240. "See, I mean I didn't try to make any of this happen...it just sorta did"
  241. >"Uh-huh" Big Mac sounded more than a little skeptical
  242. "Seriously that's what happened, we didn't even do anything major"
  243. >"Do what now" Mac growled tensing making the veins in his arms begin to pop
  244. >SHITSHITSHIT
  245. >Back pedal quick
  246. "Kissing! Kissing is all we did! I swear on my granddad's lucky horseshoe. And she only kissed me twice just ask her" You blurt out trying to scoot back from the very angry brother
  247. >"I already did" He said calming down
  248. >Not by much though
  249. >He just went from "I'm gonna kill the fuck outta you" back to "I'm about to kill the fuck outta you"
  250. >Still a marked improvement
  251. "Then you know I'm telling the truth"
  252. >"E'yup"
  253. >Score
  254. >You can work with that
  255. >"But that don't mean I'm just gonna let whoever is court'n my baby sister go gallivant'n around with a bunch of other girls" He said gruffly cracking his knuckles
  256. >Fuuuuuuuck
  257. >This is it
  258. >Really
  259. >This is how it all goes
  260. >After all that work it took to get here
  261. >...
  262. >Nah
  263. >Fuck that
  264. "You know what? Fine, go ahead" You say standing up and throwing your arms out "Put me out of my misery. You'd probably be doing me a favor anyway"
  265. >You close your eyes and wait for punch
  266. >But it doesn't come
  267. >"Pardon"
  268. "Think about it, I'm dating 6 girls, and not just any 6 girls, but my two best friends, the captain of the soccer team, the hottest and most innocent girls in school, and your sister. And all of them are expecting me to eventually somehow choose between them. You think that's gonna be easy? Nah, I'll take the beating"
  269. 8
  270. >"What exactly did you mean by refer'n to Applejack as just 'My Sister' " Big mac asked looking perturbed
  271. "Honestly not a thing" You say realizing just now that this might have been a very bad idea, but fuck it you were stuck with it now "In fact dating Applejack seems like a really sweet deal on paper, well except for this" You point between the two of you "Situation"
  272. >Big Mac looked like he was going to say something when a voice shouted from down the hall
  273. >"What in the sam hell are you two doing back here"
  274. >You whip your head around and see Applejack and Trixie walking your way
  275. >Well Trixie was walking, Applejack was kind of marching as she glared at Big Mac
  276. "H-hey guys, what are you doing here?" You ask
  277. >"Well everyone in school is talking about how Big Mac dragged you off to murder you" Trixie said looking annoyed, or at least she was trying to look annoyed to hide how worried she was
  278. >That was so sweet
  279. >Applejack looked like she was about to blow her top though
  280. >Big Mac actually looked a bit scared
  281. >He probably hadn't told her he was planning on doing this
  282. >That's when you get another idea
  283. >But you have to act fast
  284. "What? They thought we were..." You look between you and Big Mac before turning back to the girls and laughing "Oh now that's funny, isn't that funny Big Mac?"
  285. >"Huh" Big Mac says looking a little confused
  286. >"Anon, what you going on about?" AJ asked putting her anger on hold
  287. "C'mon you guys didn't really think Big Mac here was gonna beat me up did you? We're friends, teammates even. Isn't that right big guy?" You say sliding next to Big Mac and putting a hand on his shoulder
  288. >Big Mac looks at you confused and a bit annoyed
  289. >You do your best to sign to him with your eyes to go along with it until finally he agrees with an "E'yup"
  290. >Trixie and AJ don't look convinced
  291. >Then what may I ask are you two doing all the way out here where nobody can find y'all?"
  292. >Now that was a good question
  293. >And you had to think up an answer
  294. >Fuck adlib-ing is hard
  295. 9
  296. "What isn't it obvious?" You ask trying to buy time to come up with a lie
  297. >Applejack fixed you with a scrutinizing glare before turning to Trixie who for her best effort just gave her a confused shrug "Nah, I can't say that it rightly is?"
  298. "Well we were just looking for a private place to talk of course. Isn't that right Mac?"
  299. >The Big guy still doesn't look like he has any idea where you're going with this but he nods with you "E'yup"
  300. >"Really?" AJ said crossing her arms
  301. "Well yeah, I mean I'm not trying to brag or anything, but the whole school is kind of talking about us right now. Figured the less they knew about our business the better." You say giving a nervous smile
  302. >There was no way this was going to work
  303. >Now Aj was going to be mad at the both of you and Mac was gonna want to murder you more than ever
  304. >"That...actually makes a lot of sense" Trixie piped up looking a little thoughtful "...for Anon at least"
  305. >What?
  306. >You watch as Aj looks to Trixie and her features soften if just a bit
  307. >Holy shit you can't believe they're actually buying this
  308. >"Okay then, but then what was so gosh darned important you two had to march on down here to talk about it?" Aj asked
  309. >Fuck
  310. >You just had to go and jinx it
  311. >Okay, just make something up
  312. >Quick
  313. "Oh c'mon, Big Mac was just doing his duty as brother and telling me I better be a real gentleman and treat you with respect" You say throwing your arm around the big guy and pointing at him
  314. >Big Mac tensed up and looked at you like you were crazy
  315. >Which if the last few days had taught you that maybe you were
  316. >If only a little
  317. >You blamed Pinkie for that
  318. >But still you had a small nugget of a plan actually forming now and if you committed to this maybe you could make it out of this with your ass unbeaten
  319. 10
  320. >Applejack's face went red and she threw her hands down to her side balling them into fists "He did what now!?"
  321. >Shit
  322. >Great, you actually made her madder
  323. >Big Mac winces
  324. >Yup, he definitely hadn't told AJ he'd wanted to protect her honor
  325. "Whoa there Applejack, calm down." You say putting up your hands and taking a step in front of your teammate who only moments ago had been planning to beat your shit several different shades of black and blue
  326. >"Calm down?! Why of all the pigheaded..."
  327. "Hey now, there isn't anything wrong with what he did. I mean I can't even blame him. Hell if I had a sister and I found out she was dating a guy with five other girls I'd have done a whole lot worse." You admit
  328. >Hell, thinking about it now you wouldn't be surprised if you found Mr. Pie waiting for you outside of school with a shotgun for impugning his daughter's honor
  329. >Because you'd impugned more than just her honor Saturday night
  330. >Bam!
  331. >Ha, you still got it
  332. >....though knowing your luck you just triggered another deathflag
  333. >But that was a problem for later
  334. >You hoped
  335. >"That still don't make it right" Applejack said closing the distance between the two of you
  336. "Yeah, but he was doing it for the right reason, weren't you Big Mac?" You asked looking over your shoulder
  337. >Big Mac nodded looking ashamed, either because of AJ's words or possibly the fact he was being defended by the guy he wanted to beat up
  338. >"I just didn't want to see y'all get hurt" He said looking down at his sister
  339. >Applejack looked to him, then to you, then back to him
  340. >She sighed then taking off her hat and running a hand through her hair "I reckon I can see where he's com'n from." She finally said making you and Mac sigh with relief "But that still don't mean I approve, you're gonna have to accept I'm grown now and I can make my own decisions"
  341. >Big Mac seemed to think on this
  342. >Least til you elbowed him in the gut
  343. >"I reckon I gotta"
  344. >You let out another sigh
  345. >Seriously, you can't believe this worked
  346. 11
  347. >"You and me are gonna have to have a talk of our own about this later, but right now we got to be heading to class" Applejack says grabbing your arm and pulling you away
  348. >You follow without resistance only turning back to point to Big Mac and then yourself and giving a questioning thumbs up
  349. >To his credit the big guy just sighed before returning your the thumbs up
  350. >Phew that was a close one
  351. >You really didn't need to go over your "Getting punched by Angry Family Members" quota for the year
  352. >Not while you were still sporting the shiner Limestone gave you
  353. >AppleJack lets go of your arm allowing you to trail behind her at her own pace
  354. >"Of all g'all darn things, I know his heart was in the right place but dad gum'it I..." She ranted more to herself that to you
  355. >You decide to just nod your head and let her get it all out
  356. >At least til Trixie falls in beside and whispered "So how much of that was complete bullshit?"
  357. "Not as much as you'd think." You say scratching the back of your head "Only like 80%, 60 if you count that Big Mac actually gave me the "You better be a gentleman" speech before the sleepover."
  358. >Honestly those weren't bad numbers given some of the shit you'd had to talk yourself out of in the past
  359. >Trixie just puts her head in her hands and sighs "What am I gonna do with you?"
  360. "Aw" You say hamming up a touched expression "You really do care" you say leaning in a fluttering your eyelashes at her
  361. >"Figure that one out all on your own" Trixie said giving you a playful shove
  362. >That's when the bell rang getting all three of your attention as you made it back to the school's main hall
  363. >"Gosh darn it, now we're late" Applejack cursed
  364. >Well sort of
  365. >You were starting to wonder if she ever used anything aside from country style replacement words
  366. >Her accent made it work, but you were wondering if you could get her to say Fuck
  367. "Eh, no big deal, I was planning to ditch anyway"
  368. >The look of shock on AJ's face told you that was the wrong thing to say
  369. 12
  370. >Honestly the thought should have occurred to you sooner
  371. >But aside from Trixie and Pinkie
  372. >Who either somewhat mirrored your slackerish ways or had accepted your faults as part of the full package of your friendship respectively
  373. >But the rest of Pinkies friends were all Girlscout types
  374. >The kind who always went to class and did their homework every night
  375. >Well except for Dash, but that's why public schools have Gym
  376. >So maybe
  377. >Just possibly
  378. >Suggesting AJ just simply ditch class wasn't the best move to score boyfriend points
  379. >"Anon, we can't just go and skip class" She said fixing you with a stern look
  380. >Now it will take a strong counter argument with numerous insightful points and observations on your part to sway her to your side of things
  381. "But why though?"
  382. >Judging by the way Trixie snorts with laughter that wasn't as compelling as you'd intended
  383. >You chalk this up to your lack of nicotine
  384. >"Anon ya'll fixing to get us in a mess of trouble" AJ counters back
  385. >Given your history some might say that was one of your specialties
  386. >But we don't listen to them
  387. >Those guys are assholes
  388. "Oh c'mon Applejack, you'd literally be in the same amount of trouble for skipping as showing up late" You say trying to put on a winning grin "And that's if they even notice you're gone, Trixie back me up on this"
  389. >Trixie gives you a look
  390. >And that's when it occurs to you that unlike all the other girls Trixie is the least likely to want you spending time with any of the other girls
  391. >Especially while she's around
  392. >Damnit this dating thing is harder than it looks
  393. >"He's not wrong" She finally says with a shrug "Either way I'm in, I can just get the notes from Flash after lunch anyway" She says smuggly
  394. >Phew
  395. >That's it Trix
  396. >Way to be a bro
  397. >No
  398. >Wait
  399. >Don't be a bro
  400. >It would be weird to wanna make out with one of my bros
  401. >AJ looks torn
  402. >You can tell she's fighting her inner good girl over this
  403. >Yay for peer pressure
  404. 13
  405. >Finally AJ lets out a sigh
  406. >"Ya'll are just gonna go ahead skip no matter what I say ain't you"
  407. >She wasn't wrong
  408. "Yeah pretty much"
  409. >No point in lying
  410. >And all septuple relationships are based on honesty after all
  411. >Or at least they are now
  412. >Look at you blazing a trail
  413. >Also not even an angry Big Mac could get between you and the smoke you need right about now
  414. >"Gosh, what are we go'n to do with you" She says giving you a lopsided smile
  415. "I leave figuring that up to you girls, much simpler that way" You smirk
  416. >You hope it involves sexy things
  417. >And Vodka
  418. >And Cigarettes
  419. >Because until recently you'd been fine with the other two
  420. >But there was no going back now
  421. >"Well I'm gonna have to take a rain-check on all the misbehaving" She says sauntering closer to you
  422. >You try not to let the way her hips sway in her jeans hypnotize you
  423. >"Y'all mind keeping him out of trouble for me Trixie?" She asks peering over your shoulder
  424. >"Oh sure, and what other simple feat would you like Trixie to preform? Perhaps bring about world peace?"
  425. >She too wasn't wrong
  426. >Also you could tell how antsy Trixie was getting
  427. >She was giving AJ the old third person treatment
  428. >Though to her credit AJ didn't seem to let it faze her
  429. >"Well then I reckon I'll just have to give him some motivation then" She said before taking you by surprise and wrapping her arms around your neck and pulling you into a kiss
  430. >Just like when she'd kissed you goodnight at Pinkie's the other day it was something else
  431. >Maybe it was a country girl thing
  432. >If so then Applebloom is gonna make some boy very lucky someday
  433. >AJ wanted to show you that she was in control and that if you let her she'd wear your ass out
  434. >And she managed to get that across with just her lips
  435. >Correction, just her lips AND tongue
  436. >You're really glad there weren't any hall monitors around
  437. >Finally she pulled back and grinned
  438. >"So ya'll gonna behave?"
  439. >All you can think to say after a kiss like that was
  440. "Yes ma'am"
  441. >"Good"
  442. >You hear Trixie groan
  443. 14
  444. >"Alright I'll see ya'll two at lunch, try'n keep your nose clean till then" AJ says says letting you go
  445. "I will do my best"
  446. >Which isn't much
  447. >But it's something
  448. >Also you hope she doesn't talk to Sunset or Twilight anytime soon
  449. >That's still probably gonna come back to bite you in the ass
  450. >"After that kiss you better" AJ chuckles before heading off towards whatever class she has
  451. >And again you can't help but follow her ass as she goes
  452. > [YouTube] T pain - apple bottom jeans (low) (embed)
  453. >"Ahem" You hear Trixie oh so subtly cough behind you to snap you out of your booty induced stupor "If you're done you think we could get out of here before we actually get CAUGHT skipping?" She huffs before heading down the hall in the direction of the field
  454. >Yeah
  455. >That was probably a good idea
  456. >You jog to catch up only to see her still quietly fuming to herself
  457. >Given your new found quasi-boyfriend status you should probably try to do something about that
  458. "Man, that's still gonna take some getting used to" You say trying to open with a joke
  459. >"Don't go taking it easy on my account Anon" Trixie said sarcastically "I'm totally fine just standing there and watching you suck face"
  460. >Now to an outside observer this might seem like you were up shit creek with a hole in the boat
  461. >But knowing Trixie like you did you could tell she wasn't really mad at you
  462. >Well...not that much
  463. >What she really wanted right now was attention
  464. >And that was something you could manage
  465. "Aw" You say laying on the sarcastic cutesy voice thick "You're so cute when you're jealous"
  466. >You see her eyes flash with the same glint that she had when was giving you her little "Payback" the other night
  467. >"Cute am I? Is that all?" She asks with a smirk as you reach the door outside
  468. "Well I could maybe think of a few more words to describe you oh great and powerful one" You smirk reaching for your smokes
  469. >"Then by all means" She gloats holding the door open "Flatter me Anon"
  470. >You roll your eyes
  471. >The thing you do for love
  472. 15
  473. > [YouTube] Less Than Jake - Short on Ideas/One Last Cigarette (embed)
  474. >You light up, take a good drag, and exhale
  475. >Ah
  476. >That's the stuff
  477. >Hell this is almost as good as AJ's kiss back there
  478. >ALMOST
  479. >But still you fucking needed that
  480. >You palm your cigarette to be on the safe side and you and Trixie head for your spot under the bleachers
  481. >You stroking Trixie's ego the whole way
  482. >She just crosses her arms and smirks soaking up all the attention
  483. >It's honestly a pretty fun time
  484. >Once you're safely under the bleachers Trixie finally decides to speak up
  485. >"So Casanova, how's it feel to suddenly be the most popular kid in school?" She asks smuggly
  486. >You nearly choke on your next drag because you start laughing
  487. "Th-that's a good one Trix" You stammer out once you get all the smoke and laughter out
  488. >"You do know that wasn't a joke right?" She asks failing to suppress her own grin "No matter how funny it is"
  489. >Wait what
  490. "Wait, no shit?"
  491. >Trixie gives you an unimpressed look "You're dating six of the most coveted girls in school, what do you think"
  492. >6 of the most coveted girls huh
  493. >See she's counting herself in there
  494. >That's being generous
  495. >Sure you love Trix
  496. >But until this weekend she'd been on about as many people's dating radar as you had been
  497. >Well actually probably a few more than you to be fair
  498. >There were always guys like Snips and Snails or those dudes in the Anime club who probably would have jumped at a chance with your favorite little autistic firecracker
  499. >But at least for now she was all yours
  500. >You grin a little at the thought
  501. >Least til she punches you in the arm
  502. >"Don't go letting it go to your head?" She says with a giggle
  503. >You smile back and take another drag
  504. "Which one? I remember you being pretty keen about letting things go to a certain other head of mine" You counter back making her blush before a familiar grin plays across her face
  505. >"Oh I don't mind if things go to that one" She says moving close to you "Provided I'm the one both your heads are thinking about" She smirks
  506. 16
  507. >Aaaaand for the second time today you find one of your girlfriends wrapping her arms around your neck and pulling you into a kiss
  508. >Not that you were complaining
  509. >In fact you used to always hate when you caught some of your fellow teens playing a rousing game of one-on-one tonsil hockey around campus
  510. >But now you feel like you really should have cut them more slack
  511. >This was something you could get used to
  512. >And Trixie is also making some very good compelling points in it's favor as well
  513. >You not sure if it's because she was jealous of AJ or because of all the compliments
  514. >But it seems like she is trying to lay claim to your lips right now
  515. >For your part you enjoy the moment
  516. >But decide that you should probably do a little more than just try to keep up with her
  517. >So slowly but surely you move your hands down her sides
  518. >Trixie hums her approval before slipping her tongue into the kiss
  519. >Good to know you're on the right track
  520. >You keep moving your hands down until you reach her ass and give it a firm cupping making her gasps a little into the kiss
  521. >"Anon" She chides as she breaks the kiss
  522. "What? I thought you liked it when I played with your ass" You say jokingly
  523. >"Not here" She says nodding back towards the school blushing a little
  524. "Oh, then where exactly would you like me to play with your ass?" You ask continuing to tease her
  525. >Trixie let's out an annoyed sigh
  526. >"I don't see why you need my ass considering you're already a huge one yourself" She says with a giggle as she swats you on your chest
  527. "Aw, but I like yours so much better" You say leaning back in and nuzzling her neck feeling her yelp and suppress a moan
  528. >"Y-you're such a j-jerk" She sighs as you plant a kiss on her neck
  529. "Yeah, but a lovable jerk" You joke planting another kiss
  530. >Trixie's sure to be scathing retort is cut short by the bell
  531. >Damn
  532. >"Well looks like the fun's over" Trixie sighs as you straighten up
  533. >Then she quickly plants one last kiss on you
  534. >"For now at least" She says with a wink
  535. 17
  536. >And with that Trixie jogs off towards the school building leaving you there grinning with your nearly spent cigarette
  537. >Ah
  538. >You wish you could just stay at here and keep basking in this feeling
  539. >Or at the very least have another smoke or two
  540. >But unfortunately your next class was chemistry
  541. >And since every couple of days was a new lab with a new partner your attendance was manditory
  542. >Best you can hope for is you get teamed up with a nerd today so you could coast off their brains
  543. >With a sigh you take one last drag on your cig before making your way in
  544. >You slip your headphones in so you don't have to listen to what everyone is whispering about you as make your way through the halls
  545. > [YouTube] Optimus Rhyme - (self-titled) - 03 - Cybernetic Circuits (embed)
  546. >The music helps you focus as you try to do a mental inventory of who all you've already partnered with in Chem
  547. >Some were better than other
  548. >Bulk Biceps had been a chore
  549. >You think he broke half the beaker in the room before you convinced him to just record the data
  550. >That Wallflower chick hadn't been so bad, that is when you could get her to actually speak up
  551. >But you feel like you're forgetting something important here
  552. >But you make it to the lab before you can figure out what
  553. >As you step inside you see just about everyone is already paired up and sitting at their tables
  554. >All you have to do is find the odd man out and that will be your partn...
  555. >No
  556. >NO
  557. >Nope
  558. >Nuh-uh
  559. >This is not happening
  560. >This has gotta be a mistake
  561. >Someone's just sitting in your seat chatting up your partner til class starts
  562. >Yeah, that's gotta be it
  563. >But you turn towards the board to check the lab partner lineup for the day and...
  564. >SONUVABITCH
  565. >You thought the universe had gotten its licks in on you enough already
  566. >Apparently you were wrong
  567. >Might as well head to you table and sit down
  568. >You can feel their eyes glaring into you
  569. >Might as well say something
  570. "Well...this is awkward" You say finally turning to look at Twilight
  571. 18
  572. >Okay, you knew this was bound to happen eventually
  573. >You KNEW, somewhere in the back of your head, that you had one or two other classes with Sunset and Twilight
  574. >But until recently you'd enjoyed being another socially invisible background character to High School Musical bullshit that was Canterlot High
  575. >Which meant that sure, while you knew you had classes with these two
  576. >It didn't mean it ever actually affected you
  577. >Until now
  578. >And honestly you weren't sure which scared you more
  579. >Having to deal with an angry magical girl you just put on blast like 2 hours ago
  580. >Or if she'd bring up that shit with Flash that you accidentally let slip
  581. >"Let's just focus on the lab Anon" Twilight said as the teacher walked in
  582. >They explained what you were doing and from the corner of your eye you could already see Twilight getting everything set up
  583. >Actually it seemed like she was getting some stuff ready before the teacher even explained what needed to be done
  584. >What a nerd
  585. >But, that meant you probably wouldn't have to do much
  586. >"Anon pass me those beakers" Twilight said pointing over to your side of the table
  587. >You oblige only for her to shove a rubber hose into your hands "Good now hook up the gas for the Bunsen Burner"
  588. >This goes on for a while
  589. >Twilight ordering you around and basically handling the entire her lab by herslef
  590. >She seemed pretty focus
  591. >But after a few moments you notice her occasionally glancing down to something just out of view and a slight beeping
  592. >Must be texting
  593. >You guess even a nerd like Twi has a better social life than y...
  594. >Wait a damn minute
  595. >You recognize that sound
  596. >You swing your head under the edge of the tale and lo and behold
  597. >Bitch has than damn magic detector pointed at you again
  598. >Of course your less than subtle discovery means Twilight knows you know now
  599. >And she all of a sudden is looking really damn sheepish
  600. >Now it's your turn to shoot the sour looking glare
  601. "Fucking seriously"
  602. 19
  603. "You still think I'm brainwashing the girls into liking me?!" You whisper shout at her
  604. >Twilight cringes
  605. >She didn't have Sunset here to back her up
  606. >And while you weren't the scariest dude in school, you still had several inches, probably more than a hundred pounds, and 6 months of serious weightlifting on her
  607. >And as far as she knew you also had evil horse magic mind powers
  608. >She on the other hand had the magical power of...friendship
  609. >You were both figuratively and literally out of her weight class
  610. >For someone so smart she hadn't thought this one through
  611. >"It's not what you think" She tried to explain waving her hands frantically in front of her
  612. "Oh really" You say trying very hard to keep your voice down "Then that isn't your bullshit ass magic detector"
  613. >"Well yes..."
  614. "The same bullshit ass magic detector that you used this morning to try and see if I had bullshit horse magic mind control powers"
  615. >"I mean it is but..."
  616. "The same powers I already told you that I don't have because I don't want anything to do with your crazy magic horse world shit"
  617. >"That's the thing though..." Twi finally said doing her best to take control of the conversation "You might not be aware you're using it" She says urgently
  618. >You stare at her for a couple of seconds
  619. "So let me get this straight, now you think I'm some kind of lightning rod for bullshit magical horse sex powers"
  620. >Twilight blushes several shades
  621. >"I-It's a p-possibility...at least that's what Sunset th-thinks"
  622. >Wow
  623. >Really
  624. "Twilight, that is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard"
  625. >And you hung out with Flash
  626. >So that's saying something
  627. >"Hey, it's not that bad" A voice spoke up from the floor
  628. >You look down
  629. >From Twilight's bag a little dog was poking its head out
  630. >"Magic can do a lot of real crazy stuff" It said back up to you
  631. >....
  632. >....
  633. >....
  634. >What
  635. >The
  636. >Fuck
  637. >A talking dog
  638. >A dog
  639. >That could talk
  640. >Was talking
  641. >To you
  642. >The dog was talking to you
  643. >...
  644. >...
  645. >...
  646. >WHAAAAAAAAAT!?
  647. 20
  648. >Now you were a worldly burnout
  649. >Start dating 6 girls
  650. >No problem
  651. >Five of those girl's have crazy magic horse powers from another dimension
  652. >You don't bat an eye
  653. >Your best bro has crush on a princess from said other dimension, her doppelganger from this one, and his ex turned into a demon and tried to enslave the earth
  654. >I got you senpai
  655. >But dogs talking to you in the middle of science class
  656. >While SOBER
  657. >That's where you draw the line
  658. >There's only one way to deal with this bullshit
  659. >And that's to fucking split
  660. >You bug out your eyes, puff out your cheeks, and throw yourself down towards the nearest trash bin
  661. >And in a feat of acting that would surely impress the Oscar community you put on a show of the most convincing dry heaves the class has ever seen
  662. >Immediately all eyes in the class are on you as the teacher stops what their doing to check on you
  663. >"Anon, what's wrong"
  664. >Out of the corner of your eye you can see Twilight shoving her magic gizmo and that weird ass puppy back into her bag as the teacher makes his way over
  665. >Part one complete
  666. >You look up from the trash can at the teacher giving him your best pathetic expression
  667. "I, I think...I in-inhaled too much of the chem..." You pitch your face forward and give your most convincing retch yet
  668. >Hell you actually almost triggered your gag reflex for real that time
  669. "I think I...should head to the nurse" You pant before spitting a stringy glob of saliva into the basket for effect
  670. >"Yes of course, just take it easy" He says helping you to your feet
  671. >You try not to grin
  672. >Yet another master piece in Hook Line and Sinker series
  673. "Thank...ulrp...sir" You say mustering your weakest voice as you grab your bag and make a show carefully staggering towards the door "I'll still get credit for the...lab right" You ask before walking out
  674. >"Of course Anon, Twilight make sure to take care of Anon's half of the assignment"
  675. >The look she has on as you give a wide grin behind the teacher's back is priceless
  676. 21
  677. >This wasn't the first time you'd pulled this trick before
  678. >But it sure was the sweetest
  679. >That said, it probably wasn't gonna do anything to square your relationship with Twi or Sunset
  680. >And that might make things awkward with with most of the girls
  681. >Well except for Trix
  682. >She'd probably find this all hilarious
  683. >But either way
  684. >Nothing was gonna bring down the high of pure pettiness you were riding right now
  685. >You slump your shoulder and start rubbing your stomach as the teacher turns back to check on you
  686. >You mumble an assurance about being okay to walk and step out the door before he can saddle you with an escort
  687. >Last thing you need was someone catching you as you ditched two classes in one day
  688. >Or worse, Twilight tagging along to try and keep an eye on you
  689. >You slowly stagger through the hall for a few seconds in case the teacher is watching, then start up a fast trot when you're sure you're in the clear
  690. >Now that you're sure you're good you can try to come to grips wit shit
  691. >Not just that Twilight and Sunset think that you're still magic-ing all their friends into liking you
  692. >But also that Twilight has a fucking talking dog
  693. >Shit, that's not something you just pull on a guy
  694. >You needed a drink
  695. >But you were stuck at school
  696. >So a smoke would have to do
  697. >Unfortunately your usual spot under the bleachers was too far and passed too many classes
  698. >Luckily you knew a small little alcove outside that was a bit of a blindspot
  699. >You just had to make sure no one saw you head out
  700. >A few minutes later you were safely outside and lighting up
  701. "Ah, I needed this" You sigh contently
  702. >"Nonny what are you doing out here"
  703. "SWEET HOLY SONUVABITCH!?" You shout with a jump as you turn to find Pinkie of all people standing at the entrance your little hide away "Damnit Pinks what have I told you about sneaking up on me?" You blurt out trying to get your heart to stop racing
  704. >"Nonny do you mind explaining this text I just got from Twilight?"
  705. >Shiiiit
  706. 22
  707. >That bitch
  708. >The glasses wearing, talking dog having, friendship magic using, Flash seducing, purple bitch
  709. >She tattletaled on you
  710. >To Pinkie of all people
  711. >Now that was just dirty
  712. >But hey you're fine here
  713. >You haven't done anything wrong
  714. >...
  715. >Well, broadly speaking
  716. >Nothing more wrong than usual anyway
  717. >So just play it cool
  718. "Uh what text would that be Pinkie" You say trying to play off that you could probably figure out what it already said
  719. >Pinkie marches up to you shows you her phone
  720. >TS: Pinkie!!! Anon just pretended to be sick and ran out of the classroom and left me to finish up our lab by myself!
  721. >Yup
  722. >You can almost feel the wheels of the bus she's thrown you under
  723. "Well that is exactly one half of the story" You say not even deciding to deny any of it
  724. >Wasn't really much point in lying to Pinkie either
  725. >"Okay Nonny, then can you explain your side then"?" Pinkie asks crossing her arms
  726. >You try not to stare at the way it pushes her tits together
  727. "Well maybe I'm wrong, but did Twilight also mention how she's been trying to scan me with her magic detector doo-dad all day because her and Sunset think I'm using some kind of Pony magic to get you and the girls to like me?" You ask simply
  728. >Pinkie gasps in shock
  729. >"They what?" She says in disbelief followed by a nervous look as she back up just a little "You're not though...right"
  730. >You slap your face
  731. >Fucking damn horse magic
  732. "Pinkie" You deadpan "If I had magic mind powers would I let stuff like this happen" You say pointing to the still livid shiner her sister gave you
  733. >You watch as Pinkie, your oldest and dearest friend, and one of your 6 girlfriends let's realization dawn on her
  734. >"Yeah, no, you're right" She says looking like she feels a little guilty for doubting you
  735. >Might as well throw her a bone
  736. >Not her fault after all
  737. "And I wouldn't have ditched her if she hadn't just pulled a talking dog on me out of nowhere"
  738. >"Oh, you met Spike!" Pinkie squeals excitedly "Isn't he cute"
  739. >...
  740. >sonuvabitch
  741. 23
  742. >You sigh
  743. >You take a deep breath
  744. >Then you let it out
  745. >The you take a drag of your smoke
  746. >And blow out a stream of smoke
  747. >...
  748. >Well that didn't help
  749. "What the hell, since when has she had a talking dog!? I thought only magic princess Twi had the talking dog!"
  750. >"Well actually Princess Twilight has a baby dragon that turns into her own cute little puppy when she comes here" Pinkie corrects you unfazed by your outburst "And his name is Spike too"
  751. > [YouTube] JonTron: WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK? (embed)
  752. >So Pony people turn into Human people when they come over here
  753. >But dragons turn into dogs
  754. >Even though they're sentient
  755. >Does that mean they aren't really people
  756. >Is Pony land or whatever they call it hella racist
  757. >And Twilight's dog was a puppy because it was a baby dragon...does that mean old dragons turn into normal sized dogs here
  758. >Or would it be like a Clifford the Big Red Dog situation
  759. >"Oh, oh, but our Twilight's Spike is just a normal dog, he just got hit with a blast of Equestrian magic so he can talk now" Pinkie cuts in answering your first question
  760. >Oh
  761. >Great
  762. >So Twilight and Sunset actually had some kind of evidence to think you'd could've caught magic mind control herpes
  763. >That's just what you needed to hear
  764. >This is hat happens when you base your magic on shit like friendship
  765. >"But Nonny, I don't get why you're so upset about Spike." Pinkie goes on "I mean all he can do is talk"
  766. >You take another long drag
  767. "Pinkie"
  768. >"Yeah Nonny?"
  769. "You know how I feel about all this damn horse magic"
  770. >"Um actually Anon, Sunset says they prefer to call it Pony Magic"
  771. "Fine, then can you tell me how I feel about damn PONY magic"
  772. >Pinkie blushes a little before muttering "You don't fudge with that poop"
  773. "That's right, I don't fudg...Fuck with that shit" You say noticing Pinkie try not to giggle at you "It was bad enough when you got all mixed up with that stuff, but now I've got to worry about the rest of the girls too"
  774. >Pinkie smiles
  775. >"But that's what we have you for silly"
  776. 24
  777. >You slap your face with your hand
  778. >Fucking hell
  779. >Please let her not be serious
  780. >"I mean sure it was really super neat getting to use power of the Element of Harmony to help out Twilight and stuff, but it was also kind of scary." Pinkie admits fidgeting with her fingers, "I never had to worry though because I knew you'd never be scared of me even if I grew extra ears and a tail"
  781. >You vaguely remember those extra bits from your first near encounter with Pinkie and her friends' magic bullshit
  782. >But due to the massive quantities of vodka and nicotine you'd used to cope that night the memory was understandably hazy
  783. >But she was right
  784. >Even back then you'd known it
  785. >When you found yourself running back towards a school full of zombies with fucking demons and shit to save Pinkie and Trixie
  786. >They were your friends and no amount of magic bullshit was gonna stop you from looking out for them
  787. >And now it went doubly so since you were kind of dating them
  788. >And you guess that counted for the rest of the girls too
  789. >Except maybe Sunset and Twi
  790. >Flash could be responsible for saving their asses
  791. >Still this was not a realization you wanted to make sober
  792. "Great, does this mean I have to be there for the next bullshit magic catastrophe, do I need to stock up on crucifixes and holy water" You say taking another drag
  793. >Pinkie giggles and hugs you "No silly...at least I don't think so" She says looking plaintive for a second before wrinkling her nose and making a face "Bleegh, you stink like cigarettes Nonny" She says pushing you away playfully
  794. >Aw, no
  795. >And you were just starting to enjoy the feeling of her boobs pressed against you
  796. "Really, I don't even notice it anymore" You muse "So you think you could tell Twi and Sunset to give it a rest with the whole suspecting me of brainwashing thing?"
  797. >"Oh Nonny don't worry, I sure this all just big silly misunderstanding"
  798. >Sure
  799. >Riiight
  800. "And no more talking dogs, I'll put up with a lot, but talking animals is where I draw the line"
  801. 25
  802. >"Aw, but Nonny, Spike really is a sweetheart once you get to know him" Pinkie defended
  803. >You massage your temples
  804. "Pinkie, my problem isn't with how cute he is, it's with the fact he's A FUCKING TALKING DOG!" You reiterate
  805. >You sigh
  806. >You had a feeling that you'd have to start sneaking your flask into school now that you had to take a more active role in Pinkie and her friends' whacky magic bullshit
  807. "Let's just drop it for now okay"
  808. >You can already feel in your bones how much of a chore it would be to try to explain to Pinkie why a dog talking to you was the final backbreaking magical straw to you right now
  809. >"Okay Nonny, soooo...what you wanna talk about?" Pinkie smiles at you
  810. >That when you get an idea
  811. "Well, we could talk about how right now it's just the two of us out here, alone, in a spot where nobody in school can see us" You grin
  812. >True Pinkie had managed to find you and Trixie probably could too
  813. >But you'd leave that part out while you let the rest sink in
  814. >Cause hey
  815. >You already gotten to makeout with two of your six Girlfriends today
  816. >Why not shoot for three
  817. >You watch as the realization dawns on Pinkie's face and she starts to blush
  818. >"No Nonny we can't" She protests weakly
  819. >You smirk and step in next to her and wrap an arm around her
  820. "But why though" You tease while returning to the same tactic you'd tried to convince AJ with earlier
  821. >Though you felt it would work much better here
  822. >"Nonny leggo, I told you that you stink" Pinkie says while halfheartedly trying to push you away
  823. "I'm sure I can think of something to take your mind off that" You grin as you lean down and nuzzle into her neck
  824. >"Nonny I said to St-OP" Pinkie moaned as you began planting kisses on her neck
  825. >Unfortunately just as you were about to start working your way up the bell rung
  826. >Damnit
  827. >Pinkie slaps your chest and pushes you away "Nonny what's gotten into you" She asked blushing and trying to suppress a smile
  828. "According to Sunset and Twi it's evil horse magic"
  829. 26
  830. >"Stop it Nonny, you're not evil" Pinkie chided
  831. >Which you had to agree with
  832. >You'd always seen yourself as Chaotic Good anyway
  833. >...
  834. >Okay, probably more like True Neutral
  835. >But luckily there were far fewer penalties to playing against alignment in real life
  836. "Glad to hear it" You chuckle as you take one last drag of your smoke before flicking it into the grass
  837. >Pinkie just gives you one of her usual sugar infused smiles and wraps her arm around yours
  838. >"C'mon Nonny we don't wanna be late for lunch"
  839. >And like that you all of a sudden found yourself being dragged back inside and through the halls while Pinkie excitedly went about telling you about her day
  840. >You could tell that even though she'd put up a bit of a fuss about getting frisky at school, stuff like parading you through the school with her on your arm was like her version of doing coke
  841. >It proved she was still truly pure
  842. >...
  843. >Actually thinking back to the sleep over you know for a fact that Pinkie is far from TRULY Pure
  844. >But that was something you could live with
  845. >You try to keep the stupid grin off your face as you think back to what you and Pinkie got up to that night
  846. >You don't have to worry for long though as the sound of whispering quickly gets your attention
  847. >Sure enough just about everyone was pointing at you two or muttering something along the lines of "...can you believe..." '...her and all her friends..." "....no really who is he again..."
  848. >And then it dawns on you
  849. >Pinkie was parading you through one of the most trafficked hallways in school
  850. >And thoroughly enjoying everyone seeing you two together
  851. >sonuvabitch
  852. >How did you not notice
  853. >In your defense it wasn't like she hadn't done this kinda thing before
  854. >But you could say now your posture had changed
  855. >It wasn't like the old days when Pinkie would drag you through the school by the wrist while you dragged you heels and occasionally pantomimed at random students to put you out of your misery
  856. >Right now your body langue screamed couple
  857. 27
  858. >Welp
  859. >So much for trying to keep your business under wraps
  860. >Admittedly you hadn't been trying very hard
  861. >But you'd hoped you'd have made it to at least after lunch
  862. >Pinkie then proceeds throw open the doors to the cafeteria while still clutching your arm
  863. >And when you say throw open you mean THROW OPEN
  864. >These things fly back and slam against the walls opposite them like a crack of fucking thunder
  865. >Now that all eyes in the cafeteria are on you, you realize even thinking you'd have made it past lunch without everyone talking about you had been more than a little optimistic
  866. >Though it could be worse
  867. >At least no one had decided now would be a perfect time for everyone to burst into an elaborate musical number with surprisingly well timed choreography
  868. >Seriously, this place was fucking weird
  869. "Uh Pinkie...you gonna let go anytime soon? I still need to pick up my food"
  870. >"Aw, okay" Pinkie pouts before letting go of your arm "But hurry on up okay" She says before skipping off
  871. >You try not to focus on her tits bouncing as she goes
  872. >Once you get your focus back you head over to the lunchline
  873. >You decide on a light lunch
  874. >A burger that's probably more grease than meat, some jello, and a couple things of Moo Juice
  875. >Once you pay you head back towards the tables
  876. >Looks like most of the cafeteria is ignoring you or at least stopped openly staring
  877. >So that's a plus
  878. >"Oh, Oh, Nonny! Nonny, over here! Come sit here!" Pinkie shouts jumping up and down getting your and just about everyone else's attention
  879. >You see her and a few of the other girls sitting at their usual table
  880. >The same usual table that just happens to be right in the middle of the whole cafeteria
  881. >You sigh and head on over
  882. >"See, what did I tell you?" Trixie says sneaking up beside you with her own lunch in hand "Mister popularity"
  883. >You roll your eyes
  884. "More like Mister Sideshow"
  885. >"What's the difference" She chuckles
  886. >You had to admit, she had a point
  887. 28
  888. >Well misery loves company
  889. >And what better company to have than a semi harem of cute girls
  890. >Admittedly when comes to bright sides to look on that one is hard to top
  891. >You take a seat across from Pinkie
  892. >Rarity and Fluttershy are next to her
  893. >Trixie plopped down on your left and Applejack was on your right
  894. >"H-hi Anon" Flutter shy greets with a nervous little wave
  895. >Ah, her natural purity warms your cold dead heart
  896. >"Lovely to see you again lover" Rarity adds giving you a coy smile
  897. >And that warms an entirely different organ
  898. >One you're thankful is neither cold nor dead
  899. "Hey girls, how's it going" You say only to see all of them except for Pinkie and Trixie cringe a little "That bad huh?"
  900. >"Oh Darling it's been just dreadful" Rarity says in a mock swoon "I've had people hounding me all day asking if it's true...and a few girls asking for details" She says the last part while thoughtfully tapping her chin as if the meaning behind that just occurred to her
  901. >One of the few reasons to be glad Rarity hadn't been one of the girls to jump your bones that night
  902. >Last thing you wanted was for someone to get her gossiping
  903. >You'd prefer if the whole school didn't know how you like to fuck
  904. >"Yup, after break'n up your little talk with Big Mac I reckon least 10 different folks all tried to stick their noses up in my business" Applejack huffs crossing her arms
  905. >"I-I um had to explain things to a few people too" Fluttershy blushed
  906. >Oh lord
  907. >This might actually be getting out of hand
  908. >Before you can say anything you feel a hand playfully smack the back of your head "Sup Flips" Rainbow Dash smirks down at you as you turn towards her
  909. >Ugh
  910. >Why did you ever tell that damn story around her
  911. "Hey Dash, have a seat, we're all just mourning the death of our love life's privacy" You say glibly motioning for her to take a seat
  912. 29
  913. >You watch as her expression instantly sours
  914. >"Ugh, damnit flips why'd you have to remind me" She groans moving around the table to sit next to Fluttershy "My team's been giving me shit for dating a football player all day"
  915. >That actually brings a smile to your face
  916. >Nothing brightens your mood like pissed off Soccer players
  917. >Though you wonder if they'd give her less shit if you were at least a starter
  918. >...
  919. >Then again Flash was a starter and he was just about as embarrassing to be with as you
  920. >Provided you got to know him
  921. "I feel your pain Dash, but on the other hand knowing I've somehow managed to piss off the entire soccer team is kinda a win for me" You say with a casual shrug
  922. >Dash's reply is succinct
  923. >She flips you off
  924. >"Asshole"
  925. "Right back at you grass fairy" You shoot back
  926. >Your little back and forth with Dash seems to lighten the mood for the girls
  927. >The only thing that could ruin it now would be
  928. >"Hey girls" Twilight greets nervously
  929. >"And Anon" Sunset says eyeing you
  930. >Ah
  931. >Speak of the She-Devils
  932. >Get it
  933. >Because they've both actually turned into literal She-Dev...
  934. >You know what forget it
  935. "Hey, accuse anyone else of brainwashing helpless girls today? Or is it still just me"
  936. >Now you'd have to slow down time to properly appreciate the cascading waterfall of reactions from around the table
  937. >First was Sunset, whose jaw dropped at how casually you just dropped that bombshell
  938. >Next was Twi who hunched up her shoulder and cringed in mortification
  939. >Rarity was after that going for soap opera perfect aghast look
  940. >Followed by AJ who gave the best look of sincere disappointment
  941. >Fluttershy looked a little confused
  942. >So did Dash, just a bit goofier looking
  943. >Pinkie's eyes went wide and both her hands shot to her mouth
  944. >And Trixie...she looks like she can't believe her parents got her a puppy AND a pony for Christmas
  945. >Now there could have been better ways to broach this subject
  946. >But remember
  947. >You're King Petty
  948. >And right now it feels good to be the King
  949. 30
  950. >You know you only spoke loud enough for your table to hear, but as if by fate the whole cafeteria has fallen silent as Sunset and Twilight gape at you
  951. >You take a bite of your burger and enjoy the brief peace before the powder keg you just lit explodes
  952. >Twilight is the first to speak surprisingly enough
  953. >"It was just a precaution!" Twilight blurts out blushing
  954. >The rest of the girls look between her and you
  955. >But surprisingly you're ready for this
  956. "Oh because you think I do have have Horse magic powers and it's basically mind control herpes that I somehow gave everyone here right?"
  957. >Another round of shocked expressions
  958. >Except for Fluttershy
  959. >Which is precious
  960. >But also a tad bit scary
  961. >But that's a problem for later
  962. >One you might delegate to Nurse Redheart...it's kinda her job anyway
  963. >"We were just trying to be cautious" Sunset explained taking a seat across from Dash along with Twilight
  964. "Really, cause I thought you had to sing to brainwash people with horse magic"
  965. >"I mean you might have that power after all" Trixie says smugly "I know I'd do just about anything you asked to get you to stop" That gets a few laughs from the group
  966. "Hey, I have a great singing voice"
  967. >"Yeah, for a bass player" Trixie laughs while nudging you in the ribs
  968. >"The point is you could be doing it and not even know you're doing it so we just want to be sure" Sunset interrupts obviously not in the mood yours and Trixie's witty banter
  969. >"Now Sunny don't you think you're taking this just a tad too far" AJ asked
  970. >"Aren't you all even the tiniest bit worried about this" Sunsent asked looking to everyone around the table
  971. >"Not really" Trixie offered lazily playing with her tatter tots
  972. >"And why's that?" Sunset shot back giving her a look
  973. >"Because if Anon really had mind control powers he'd probably already gone mad with power and have us all bowing down to him and calling him Super King Big Nuts or something or more likely would just use it to get people to give him free booze and cigarettes"
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