Minding the Gap (2018)

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1
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That's not how we do this
in the hood, you know.

2
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[man #1] All right, now, come up here.

3
00:00:30,102 --> 00:00:33,024
Always ignoring the no trespassing signs.

4
00:00:33,191 --> 00:00:34,151
[laughing]

5
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,072
What are you talking about?
We didn't even see it.

6
00:00:37,491 --> 00:00:38,828
[Zack] It's scary, man.

7
00:00:43,128 --> 00:00:45,508
Uh, I think... I think I'm gonna die.

8
00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:48,430
-You got like six more.
-[Zack] Are you fucking serious?

9
00:00:48,514 --> 00:00:50,852
We have a long way to go.
We're not even halfway.

10
00:00:51,144 --> 00:00:53,524
OK, let's do it. Let's go up.
We're already going up. Come on, Keire.

11
00:00:53,607 --> 00:00:55,653
[Zack] No, I'm not going up.
We're going down.

12
00:00:55,737 --> 00:00:57,031
[man #2] Do you want me to come
and push you?

13
00:00:57,114 --> 00:00:58,868
We're going right back down.

14
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:02,207
Come on, I... I just got
the courage to do this.

15
00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:03,293
We're going down.

16
00:01:03,376 --> 00:01:05,172
-I already told him. I'm bailing out.
-OK.

17
00:01:05,422 --> 00:01:06,466
-Good, I'm...
-I wanna go,

18
00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,219
-but he's so scared.
-I'm with you. I don't wanna die.

19
00:01:09,013 --> 00:01:11,309
[Zack] Your whole life society
tell you, like,

20
00:01:11,392 --> 00:01:13,522
"Oh, be a man, and you're strong,

21
00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:16,904
and you're tough,
and margaritas are gay," you know, like...

22
00:01:17,196 --> 00:01:19,450
You know, you don't grow up
thinking that's the way you are.

23
00:01:20,745 --> 00:01:23,542
When you are a kid,
you just do, you just act

24
00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:26,799
and then somewhere along the line,
everyone loses that.

25
00:01:36,860 --> 00:01:39,365
[instrumental music playing]

26
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:30,546
It's... I really wanted to clean up.
I'm freaking hungry.

27
00:03:32,382 --> 00:03:36,474
[Keire] I spend, like, the majority
of my time here alone.

28
00:03:38,478 --> 00:03:39,564
[Bing] Why do you think that is?

29
00:03:40,398 --> 00:03:41,943
[Keire] It's-- It's me, because I...

30
00:03:42,110 --> 00:03:45,033
I always felt like
I didn't fit in with my family.

31
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:49,375
It seems like they don't understand
why I escaped already in the first place.

32
00:03:49,668 --> 00:03:50,670
[sighs]

33
00:03:53,884 --> 00:03:56,682
-[gunshot]
-[Zack] Oh, do not shoot that in my house.

34
00:03:57,474 --> 00:04:00,271
See this is why
we are not allowed to go anywhere.

35
00:04:00,438 --> 00:04:01,608
Is this, right here.

36
00:04:02,317 --> 00:04:03,987
[man] Oh, fuck off!

37
00:04:04,488 --> 00:04:08,622
If you go... If you go behind a tree,
you're-- you're OK. You got cover.

38
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,210
[laughing]

39
00:04:12,462 --> 00:04:14,551
Are you gonna put me smoking weed,
in that thing?

40
00:04:14,759 --> 00:04:17,221
[Bing] Maybe. I don't think just to do it.

41
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,560
I've given you free range, I mean, I...

42
00:04:20,563 --> 00:04:22,065
I've no stipulation.

43
00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:29,581
[Zack] I've always needed more
out of life, more out of where I was.

44
00:04:30,206 --> 00:04:32,920
You know, my parents ran
this very controlling house

45
00:04:33,004 --> 00:04:34,799
and so, I ran away a lot.

46
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:38,766
When I was like 16, I was no longer living
with my parents, like, at all.

47
00:04:39,517 --> 00:04:41,563
I just wanted to fucking escape.

48
00:04:41,563 --> 00:04:43,984
["Video Life"
by Chris Spedding plays]

49
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:44,903
[man] Yeah!

50
00:04:48,869 --> 00:04:51,457
Ready for some fucking intense action.
Take one.

51
00:04:54,213 --> 00:04:55,966
No!

52
00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:09,409
I can see that thing there
moving around, Bing, I know you're playing

53
00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:11,038
with my face or something.

54
00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:13,084
[Bing] Zack over here,
he's going to crash.

55
00:05:18,177 --> 00:05:20,056
[Bing] Come, buddy, come...

56
00:05:20,516 --> 00:05:22,394
[man laughing] Oh, my...

57
00:05:22,645 --> 00:05:24,439
[Zack] Oh, shit, there's a cop.

58
00:05:26,152 --> 00:05:27,445
-[screaming]
-Hey, no, don't.

59
00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:28,447
No, it' fine.

60
00:05:28,532 --> 00:05:32,080
-[laughing] Oh, my God!
-Oh, my God! Oh!

61
00:05:32,289 --> 00:05:34,794
-[screaming]
-What the fuck?

62
00:05:40,931 --> 00:05:43,102
Dude, I'm like bleeding.
It's like in it.

63
00:05:44,731 --> 00:05:46,233
[Bing] How long have you known Keire?

64
00:05:46,568 --> 00:05:49,114
[Zack] Man, I want to say,
when I met Keire, he was like 11.

65
00:05:49,448 --> 00:05:51,578
He'd-- He'd ride the bus to the park.

66
00:05:52,663 --> 00:05:54,751
And then, he'd pretty much
be stuck at the park.

67
00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:58,675
He'd have to ask everyone for money
so he could get enough for the bus home.

68
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:02,265
[Keire] Well, I remember
the first time I met him,

69
00:06:02,432 --> 00:06:05,104
I was standing where the bikers transfer.

70
00:06:05,188 --> 00:06:08,528
And this dude hit me,
like, right in the rib with his pegs.

71
00:06:08,737 --> 00:06:12,285
And I remember Zack,
and he just started screaming at this kid,

72
00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:14,874
"I'm gonna fucking beat your ass,
like, blah, blah, blah..."

73
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:17,003
So, I was like, I wanna be like that guy.

74
00:06:17,337 --> 00:06:18,464
Oh, ho, ho!

75
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,397
[Bing] What did you think of me,
we were growing up

76
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,566
and I was filming all of us?

77
00:06:27,650 --> 00:06:31,658
[Zack] I thought, it was cool, how you can
put all these different moments

78
00:06:31,741 --> 00:06:35,541
into, like, one long video and just
make it seem, like, the best time ever.

79
00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:38,603
Oh, God, no! You've been
filming the whole time?

80
00:06:38,645 --> 00:06:40,425
I thought you were
like, taking a picture.

81
00:06:49,944 --> 00:06:53,117
She... She just drove by
and didn't even care!

82
00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:59,212
-[Keire] Oh, God! Yes!
-[Zack] Fuck, yeah!

83
00:06:59,672 --> 00:07:00,799
Whoo!

84
00:07:00,883 --> 00:07:03,847
[Zack] Skateboarding is more of a family
than my family.

85
00:07:04,181 --> 00:07:07,730
We formed a family together,
like to look out for each other

86
00:07:07,813 --> 00:07:10,861
because no one else
was looking out for us.

87
00:07:32,988 --> 00:07:33,865
[chuckles]

88
00:07:35,409 --> 00:07:37,372
No, I'm not jumping in.

89
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:43,134
It could be three feet only,
but, "Oh, shit! I'm drowning."

90
00:07:45,973 --> 00:07:47,518
No more smoking weed in the house.

91
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,020
-[Keire] Good.
-There's no more smoking cigarettes

92
00:07:49,104 --> 00:07:50,398
-in the house, either.
-[Keire] Good.

93
00:07:50,481 --> 00:07:53,070
Which I tried to break myself up
a while ago but...

94
00:07:53,697 --> 00:07:55,116
There's so much trash on my porch,

95
00:07:55,199 --> 00:07:57,078
I'm like, I just can't go back out there
and smoke.

96
00:07:58,455 --> 00:08:01,086
-I don't know. I guess, like...
-There's just a bunch of boxes...

97
00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:03,090
-and baby stuff.
-It's boxes. It's baby shit.

98
00:08:03,299 --> 00:08:05,219
You know how hard
baby shit is put together?

99
00:08:05,386 --> 00:08:06,806
Do you know how ridiculous this shit is?

100
00:08:07,098 --> 00:08:08,810
And there's like,
they are five different language

101
00:08:08,894 --> 00:08:10,814
on the instructions, but not English.

102
00:08:10,981 --> 00:08:14,362
And I'm like, "Why couldn't I have just
bought this, I don't understand.

103
00:08:14,446 --> 00:08:16,743
Why I had to buy a box
and put it together."

104
00:08:16,826 --> 00:08:18,370
It doesn't make any fucking sense.

105
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:20,374
[Zack] I can't believe that.

106
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,003
She's just gonna have the baby.

107
00:08:22,128 --> 00:08:24,592
And I'm there, just gonna be like,
"OK, here's the baby, go home."

108
00:08:25,051 --> 00:08:26,596
I feel like, somewhere along the line,

109
00:08:26,804 --> 00:08:29,017
there should be like a class
for this or something,

110
00:08:29,184 --> 00:08:31,271
that I should have taken,
that I'm fucked up.

111
00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:36,198
[Keire] I feel like
life might be moving too fast.

112
00:08:37,534 --> 00:08:41,332
We have to fully grow up
and it's gonna fucking suck.

113
00:08:43,212 --> 00:08:45,968
-How'd you do it? Oh, my God!
-[screaming]

114
00:08:47,303 --> 00:08:48,974
Oh, my beer! Oh, God!

115
00:08:49,391 --> 00:08:50,602
It's all over you.

116
00:08:51,311 --> 00:08:52,773
-Yeah!
-Oh, shit!

117
00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:55,862
[dog barking]

118
00:08:58,367 --> 00:08:59,704
[Zack talking indistinctly]

119
00:09:00,121 --> 00:09:02,835
If somebody poked Keire in the eye,

120
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,882
-I would freak the fuck out!
-Poke me in the eye?

121
00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:07,595
[man] Oh, you don't poke nigga's
in the eye?

122
00:09:08,345 --> 00:09:10,349
That guy would be mad at you
for saying "nigga".

123
00:09:11,143 --> 00:09:13,565
Fuck him. He poked you
in the eye. He had it coming.

124
00:09:13,648 --> 00:09:16,028
Yeah, he did have it coming.
He poked me in the eye.

125
00:09:16,111 --> 00:09:17,823
-Yeah, fuck that guy.
-[man laughing]

126
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:20,537
[Zack] Hey, Kyle, how are you
gonna get down on the roof?

127
00:09:20,829 --> 00:09:24,294
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna watch
the fucking fire works today.

128
00:09:24,377 --> 00:09:26,966
-How we're gonna get you down, man?
-A ladder.

129
00:09:27,551 --> 00:09:29,930
We don't have a ladder, Kyle!

130
00:09:30,264 --> 00:09:34,022
I'm having a good time, 'cause
I'm on the top level of my fucking roof.

131
00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:36,485
-You want to know why? Guess what, Liu?
-Keire, this isn't a joke, yo.

132
00:09:36,569 --> 00:09:38,907
-It's not a joke. It's America's...
-You're all the way on my fucking roof.

133
00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:40,702
...fucking birthday, dude.

134
00:09:40,869 --> 00:09:41,954
-[man laughing]
-[Kyle] Guess what?

135
00:09:42,038 --> 00:09:43,833
In the land of the fucking free...

136
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,044
[Zack] Dude, I'm telling you...

137
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,881
[Kyle] ...I'm on this
son-of-a-bitching roof, dude.

138
00:09:47,465 --> 00:09:51,557
Land of the fucking free,
on this son bitching roof...

139
00:09:51,766 --> 00:09:54,689
Fucking fire works, dude! Yes!

140
00:09:54,772 --> 00:09:57,402
-[man] Oh, my God.
-[Kyle screaming]

141
00:09:58,070 --> 00:10:01,577
Happy fucking birthday, dude!

142
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,832
[screaming]

143
00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:06,546
Oh, my God, Keire.

144
00:10:07,004 --> 00:10:10,846
Fuck! Bless America!

145
00:10:13,977 --> 00:10:15,479
[baby crying]

146
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,798
[Nina] I never thought I'd be OK
with changing the diaper.

147
00:10:29,424 --> 00:10:30,927
But I'm pretty OK with it.

148
00:10:31,011 --> 00:10:32,263
[Zack] We've been tag team in it, though.

149
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:33,641
So, it's easier.

150
00:10:34,142 --> 00:10:38,275
Yeah, it was so funny, because,
um, I had Zack give the baby a bottle

151
00:10:38,651 --> 00:10:40,655
and Keire was like, "Oh, my God,

152
00:10:40,739 --> 00:10:43,243
-they're freaking out."
-Yeah, it weirded him out the whole time.

153
00:10:43,327 --> 00:10:45,540
He's like, "I can't believe
you're actually a dad."

154
00:10:47,503 --> 00:10:48,505
[Zack] He is dashing.

155
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:52,888
-[baby crying]
-Oh, don't be grumpy.

156
00:10:54,390 --> 00:10:56,102
[Zack] I would do anything for that kid.

157
00:10:56,896 --> 00:11:00,862
I wanna give him every opportunity
I possibly can, to help him succeed,

158
00:11:00,946 --> 00:11:02,950
help him be happy, to be a good person.

159
00:11:27,749 --> 00:11:31,841
It's interesting how much having a kid
would force you to, like, grow up.

160
00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:34,012
Like, I can't get home from work,

161
00:11:34,178 --> 00:11:36,474
and fucking drink 12 pack,
like I normally do

162
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,646
'cause, like, what if I have to get up
and feed the kid, or you know

163
00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,859
what if something happens, I have
to take him to the hospital, like...

164
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,361
I don't know.

165
00:11:43,405 --> 00:11:45,660
Lately I've been having
a lot of anxiety about...

166
00:11:46,537 --> 00:11:49,250
not feeling like a grownup,
and not feeling like I've...

167
00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:52,298
done enough things
to set my life up properly and...

168
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:55,095
it's time I do something, you know.

169
00:11:56,389 --> 00:12:00,189
OK, so, I need you to read over
all of these, these are the rules

170
00:12:00,272 --> 00:12:01,817
of the testing center.
-OK. OK.

171
00:12:01,943 --> 00:12:03,487
"No cellphone, no computer..."

172
00:12:03,571 --> 00:12:04,447
OK.

173
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,244
-Where do you work at?
-Um, I'm a roofer.

174
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,165
That's hard work.

175
00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:11,461
It is. That's why I'm taking this.

176
00:12:11,545 --> 00:12:12,589
[nurse chuckles]

177
00:12:18,475 --> 00:12:20,187
I couldn't understand
what they wanted me to do.

178
00:12:20,647 --> 00:12:23,026
You know, like,
the way it was written, I just...

179
00:12:23,611 --> 00:12:25,364
I was having trouble,
I just didn't understand.

180
00:12:26,617 --> 00:12:27,703
[sighs] That was rough.

181
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:37,054
How are you today? What time is it?

182
00:12:40,647 --> 00:12:41,855
Oh...

183
00:12:41,939 --> 00:12:43,150
Fuck. [laughing]

184
00:12:44,778 --> 00:12:45,864
Oh, man.

185
00:12:46,949 --> 00:12:49,412
I'm at home. Bring me some cigarettes
and a beer pump, dude.

186
00:12:49,495 --> 00:12:50,665
I'll pay you when you get here.

187
00:12:50,915 --> 00:12:52,753
Talking about Keire
and his skateboard, yo,

188
00:12:52,836 --> 00:12:54,590
-Keire and his skateboard.
-Oh! Yeah.

189
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,011
-He'll be doing his little thing.
-All good, cousin.

190
00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:58,848
Like, talking shit to him, you know.

191
00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:01,269
Being a little, brother,
you know, being the youngest brother.

192
00:13:01,729 --> 00:13:03,900
You know, you got to think--
but if he wasn't the youngest,

193
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,196
he'd probably be running the streets
with us. You know what I'm saying?

194
00:13:07,031 --> 00:13:09,452
All I could say is,
I'm glad he ain't in the--, uh...

195
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:13,210
where I'm at, right now, I got to go do,
uh, a few days, you know.

196
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,715
One thing about that,
at least, uh, I got an out-date.

197
00:13:16,049 --> 00:13:17,093
[chuckles]

198
00:13:17,594 --> 00:13:18,638
All right, bro.

199
00:13:24,273 --> 00:13:26,904
[Keire humming]

200
00:13:28,406 --> 00:13:29,743
Sucks.

201
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:33,250
[Roberta] Keire is quite different
from the others.

202
00:13:34,628 --> 00:13:36,214
I think about it a lot.

203
00:13:37,091 --> 00:13:38,468
'Cause I want him to start...

204
00:13:39,387 --> 00:13:42,519
getting real serious about
what he's gonna be doing.

205
00:13:43,228 --> 00:13:46,861
[Keire sighs] I turned 18 in November.

206
00:13:47,654 --> 00:13:50,075
Ever since then I just feel like,
I should get a good job

207
00:13:50,158 --> 00:13:53,206
or get like, "a" job,
this "a" job in general.

208
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,252
[door creaking]

209
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:56,547
[Keire] But I don't know.

210
00:13:57,172 --> 00:14:00,137
I'm becoming a man, and like, I feel like,
there's something I got fucked over on

211
00:14:00,555 --> 00:14:04,103
because, like, my childhood
was really scary time.

212
00:14:12,579 --> 00:14:14,666
Fucking wrong with you?
Throwing your fucking board at me?

213
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:16,962
[man] Hey, kid, what happened?

214
00:14:18,966 --> 00:14:20,010
What did he do?

215
00:14:22,306 --> 00:14:23,517
Still wanna fight me now?

216
00:14:27,316 --> 00:14:28,694
-What happened?
-You know what?

217
00:14:29,571 --> 00:14:30,489
Hey.

218
00:14:32,076 --> 00:14:32,994
Yeah.

219
00:14:33,704 --> 00:14:34,748
Yeah.

220
00:14:39,675 --> 00:14:41,845
[Roberta] Keire, he held in a lot,

221
00:14:42,597 --> 00:14:44,726
and his dad, you know,

222
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,565
he was really kind of strict on him.

223
00:14:49,778 --> 00:14:52,491
You know, his father was,
he was a carpenter,

224
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,038
and he wanted Keire to do that,

225
00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:58,796
because he couldn't get the other boys
to, you know, follow his foot steps.

226
00:14:59,881 --> 00:15:02,595
-But Keire didn't like it.
-[Keire] Damn it!

227
00:15:07,438 --> 00:15:09,066
-Yeah!
-Do it!

228
00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:13,868
[Zack] And like, sometimes
I'd know that I have to work with him.

229
00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:17,542
So, I'll sneak out my window,
like, throw my board out first

230
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:18,878
and just climb out.

231
00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:21,132
Then when I got home,

232
00:15:21,842 --> 00:15:22,969
I got disciplined.

233
00:15:24,346 --> 00:15:26,392
And then I would go skate for a while.

234
00:15:28,689 --> 00:15:30,067
[Bing] How did you get disciplined?

235
00:15:31,319 --> 00:15:32,321
Uh...

236
00:15:34,075 --> 00:15:40,003
I mean, well, they call it
child abuse now, but it's, um...

237
00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:44,011
[breathing heavily]

238
00:15:44,095 --> 00:15:45,723
Bitch! Uh!

239
00:15:46,767 --> 00:15:49,731
[Keire] That shit makes you angry,
like, oh, God...

240
00:15:50,273 --> 00:15:55,325
It, like, it like boils my-- my blood,
dude, like, uh... fuck.

241
00:16:03,717 --> 00:16:04,636
Fuck!

242
00:16:07,474 --> 00:16:08,561
[Bing] How bad did it get?

243
00:16:10,105 --> 00:16:11,232
Like, did you ever cry?

244
00:16:12,025 --> 00:16:15,490
Oh, at first. At first. Like...

245
00:16:17,369 --> 00:16:18,329
I mean...

246
00:16:22,087 --> 00:16:23,089
Weren't you?

247
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:25,302
[Bing] I did cry.

248
00:16:27,557 --> 00:16:28,893
I feel like everybody cries.

249
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:52,189
Is this the board you bought here?

250
00:16:53,441 --> 00:16:55,362
-[Bing] Uh...
-I think you did.

251
00:16:56,113 --> 00:16:57,324
A while ago.

252
00:16:57,742 --> 00:16:59,453
Remember, we had this board in the shop.

253
00:17:00,539 --> 00:17:03,879
I don't buy boards that much anymore,
'cause I don't skate that much anymore.

254
00:17:04,003 --> 00:17:07,051
Dude, tell me about it.
I don't skate nearly enough.

255
00:17:07,929 --> 00:17:10,141
I don't really remember
when I first met you.

256
00:17:11,227 --> 00:17:15,234
I-- I just, he was just, that kid
that always there, you know, like...

257
00:17:17,364 --> 00:17:18,909
You come into the skate shop...

258
00:17:19,661 --> 00:17:21,999
I don't know, we talk about random stuff.

259
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,211
And that happened with a lot of kids.

260
00:17:24,671 --> 00:17:26,717
And they could come in
and be like, yeah, dude...

261
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,428
my parents suck or this is going on.

262
00:17:28,512 --> 00:17:30,265
and they'd come in unload, you know...

263
00:17:31,893 --> 00:17:33,897
But, like, you were introverted.

264
00:17:34,858 --> 00:17:38,072
And I didn't know, and I remember,
think I asked you if you were gay.

265
00:17:38,406 --> 00:17:39,909
Do you remember that at all?

266
00:17:40,452 --> 00:17:41,955
-[Bing] No.
-Like, I-- I asked you, like,

267
00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:44,168
dude, are you gay, like, what's...
What do you... You know, like,

268
00:17:44,251 --> 00:17:47,174
I knew-- I knew you had some
huge weight on you.

269
00:17:48,009 --> 00:17:51,432
And, you were like, "No, dude," you know.

270
00:17:52,267 --> 00:17:56,233
But I can't remember when you opened up
to me about your mom and stuff.

271
00:17:56,985 --> 00:18:00,367
But I-- You never really told me about
anything about what was going on with you

272
00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:04,542
and, I guess,
in retrospect now, I look at him like,

273
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:07,464
I should've totally figured that out.

274
00:18:09,009 --> 00:18:11,556
Like, I could tell, with you
from the very beginning, like,

275
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:16,273
skateboarding meant more to you than just
being cool and having friends, like...

276
00:18:18,779 --> 00:18:20,490
It was your thing to like...

277
00:18:21,993 --> 00:18:22,912
get away.

278
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:27,505
It was kind of a life or death thing.

279
00:18:40,488 --> 00:18:42,827
[Zack] To other people it's funny,
ha-ha-ha, you know,

280
00:18:42,910 --> 00:18:44,329
oh, these guys are crazy,

281
00:18:44,831 --> 00:18:46,543
but in reality
I think it's a control thing.

282
00:18:47,879 --> 00:18:51,636
You fucking have to control
the most minute, small details

283
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:55,018
to make you feel normal
in a world that's not normal.

284
00:18:59,778 --> 00:19:01,698
[Keire] It was kind of be like
a drug in a way.

285
00:19:01,948 --> 00:19:06,040
Like, I can seriously be on a verge
of having a fucking mental breakdown,

286
00:19:06,123 --> 00:19:10,256
but as long as I am able to go skate
then I am completely fine.

287
00:19:34,597 --> 00:19:35,641
Yeah!

288
00:19:58,562 --> 00:19:59,438
Bravo!

289
00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:20,104
Here goes nothing.

290
00:20:38,558 --> 00:20:40,436
[Keire] As soon as
the effect of the drug wears off,

291
00:20:40,813 --> 00:20:42,190
this thing just comes back to you.

292
00:20:49,622 --> 00:20:51,668
So, what happened?
Did we get paid yesterday, or...

293
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:52,878
I don't know.

294
00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:55,801
I don't know, either.

295
00:20:56,051 --> 00:20:59,767
I need my hours, man. I got kids to feed.

296
00:21:02,982 --> 00:21:05,779
Dude, my boss is,
seriously, such an asshole,

297
00:21:05,863 --> 00:21:08,994
it is crazy, like...
Fucking, they're understaffed now,

298
00:21:09,077 --> 00:21:10,539
and he just told me to clock out.

299
00:21:13,962 --> 00:21:16,300
[Zack] My budget
is already spent out for a week,

300
00:21:16,383 --> 00:21:18,179
so, I'm a week behind every time.

301
00:21:18,471 --> 00:21:21,477
So, now, I have to figure out
how to come up with three extra hours

302
00:21:21,770 --> 00:21:24,066
on a schedule that I'm barely fucking on.

303
00:21:30,954 --> 00:21:33,000
[man] According to research
from the University of Illinois,

304
00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:37,258
about 47 percent of all Rockford workers,
60,000 total

305
00:21:37,635 --> 00:21:39,847
earn less than $15 per hour.

306
00:21:39,931 --> 00:21:42,561
[man #2] Rockford has struggled
with unemployment for years.

307
00:21:42,645 --> 00:21:44,189
Companies have left, so, have the jobs.

308
00:21:44,272 --> 00:21:45,567
[woman] Out of all of Illinois,

309
00:21:45,651 --> 00:21:49,575
Rockford has seen the largest number
of people move away since 2010.

310
00:21:56,421 --> 00:21:58,134
How many people
are gonna be at that table?

311
00:21:58,844 --> 00:22:00,764
Uh, could be anywhere from 12 to 15.

312
00:22:01,306 --> 00:22:02,267
Great.

313
00:22:03,562 --> 00:22:05,148
Yeah, you took the hardest one. Good job.

314
00:22:18,842 --> 00:22:19,802
There you go.

315
00:22:20,762 --> 00:22:22,975
There you go.
I got you all lined up there.

316
00:22:24,102 --> 00:22:25,229
Come on, bud.

317
00:22:26,231 --> 00:22:27,442
I feel weird, 'cause like...

318
00:22:28,402 --> 00:22:29,404
I don't know.

319
00:22:29,572 --> 00:22:32,118
'Cause I, like, talk to my baby,
like, baby-voicin'.

320
00:22:32,202 --> 00:22:33,788
But, I mean, it's a fucking baby,
that's how you talk to 'em,

321
00:22:33,872 --> 00:22:35,291
you know what I mean?
I'm not gonna be, like,

322
00:22:35,374 --> 00:22:38,255
"All right, Elliot, we're gonna put
your clothes on, lil' buddy.

323
00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:41,888
-[woman] Yes.
-[Zack] Oh, no.

324
00:22:42,305 --> 00:22:44,977
[Zack] It's like,
she works and I watch him

325
00:22:45,353 --> 00:22:48,568
or I work and she watches him.
I-- I don't know. And other than that,

326
00:22:48,652 --> 00:22:50,154
we're both pretty much around.

327
00:22:50,238 --> 00:22:51,406
All right.

328
00:22:54,246 --> 00:22:55,248
Here you go.

329
00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:58,546
Is that the action you want?
Is that the action you want?

330
00:22:59,172 --> 00:23:01,426
[Zack] It's a hard enough life,
being a baby.

331
00:23:02,345 --> 00:23:03,723
It's-- It's got to be stressful.

332
00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:06,854
I mean, you save a bunch of time
by not having to walk

333
00:23:06,938 --> 00:23:08,399
and go to the bathroom but...

334
00:23:09,109 --> 00:23:12,825
And then someone just cleans it for you,
someone feeds you every three hours.

335
00:23:14,704 --> 00:23:18,294
See, I've been off work all week
which normally never happens,

336
00:23:18,670 --> 00:23:22,302
I haven't left this house in five days
'cause I haven't had time to do anything.

337
00:23:22,761 --> 00:23:25,308
And I get cooked up, super, super easily,

338
00:23:25,433 --> 00:23:27,563
so that, you know,
it's been driving me nuts.

339
00:23:28,606 --> 00:23:30,026
Have you met your uncle, have you?

340
00:23:30,944 --> 00:23:31,821
[baby cooing]

341
00:23:32,948 --> 00:23:34,952
Hey, mama's here.

342
00:23:35,746 --> 00:23:36,789
How was work?

343
00:23:37,081 --> 00:23:39,587
-Eh.
-How was after-work drinks?

344
00:23:43,636 --> 00:23:45,473
Jeez, girl. No wonder you're always broke.

345
00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:47,686
-Those things are probably like $7.
-They're $4.

346
00:23:52,195 --> 00:23:53,364
All right, are you gonna feed him?

347
00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:57,163
No, I told you to. I have to, like,
get ready and meet Jess.

348
00:23:57,246 --> 00:23:58,666
What? You did not tell me that.

349
00:23:58,750 --> 00:24:00,461
-Yeah, I did...
-You said, "I'm gonna feed him."

350
00:24:00,712 --> 00:24:02,549
You can't just feed him, like,
11 hours and now you're going out...

351
00:24:02,633 --> 00:24:03,676
You did that to me for five months.

352
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:04,845
-to the bar. You can't feed...
-Five months...

353
00:24:04,929 --> 00:24:06,682
-...your fucking kid.
-...you can't do it one day.

354
00:24:07,016 --> 00:24:08,603
You can't feed him, like, what the fuck?

355
00:24:08,978 --> 00:24:11,526
I'll feed him the bottle,
just feed him the solid food.

356
00:24:11,609 --> 00:24:13,445
-It's all I want you to do.
-That bottle's only three ounces

357
00:24:13,530 --> 00:24:15,282
they'll drink that in, like five minutes.

358
00:24:15,366 --> 00:24:17,203
Then I got to take care of him
all fucking nights still,

359
00:24:17,286 --> 00:24:18,790
-so, why can't you just...
-I haven't even gotten my fucking

360
00:24:18,873 --> 00:24:20,376
-jacket off.
-Why can't you just feed him?

361
00:24:20,544 --> 00:24:22,004
Dude, that's what
I don't fucking understand.

362
00:24:22,088 --> 00:24:23,340
I was stay-at-home mom

363
00:24:23,424 --> 00:24:26,012
and you said,
I work, you take care of Elliot,

364
00:24:26,263 --> 00:24:27,933
I did, and now, I'm working...

365
00:24:28,183 --> 00:24:30,522
Right, and you show up
somewhere between eight and nine,

366
00:24:30,647 --> 00:24:34,655
-just in-- just in time to put him to bed.
-That happened twice.

367
00:24:34,738 --> 00:24:35,866
-Last night was the only night...
-I told you...

368
00:24:35,949 --> 00:24:39,289
-...you stayed home all fucking week.
-That's a fucking lie and you know it.

369
00:24:39,456 --> 00:24:42,546
-Whatever. You're an idiot. Just go away.
-No, you're a fucking idiot.

370
00:24:44,090 --> 00:24:45,092
[sighs]

371
00:24:52,608 --> 00:24:53,568
[door locking]

372
00:24:54,612 --> 00:24:59,287
[Zack] I mean, she's like, going through
something now, she's like newly 21

373
00:24:59,370 --> 00:25:01,249
and wants to go out every night.

374
00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:04,507
And I told her, I'm like,
"You had a kid, like, too late."

375
00:25:04,882 --> 00:25:05,926
[baby crying]

376
00:25:06,636 --> 00:25:08,973
[Zack] I love that girl, I-- You know,
I do want to be with her.

377
00:25:09,057 --> 00:25:11,521
I just want her to chill the fuck out.

378
00:25:13,566 --> 00:25:16,154
And feel like,
it's just been me, like a lot.

379
00:25:17,114 --> 00:25:19,870
Well, she gets to go out every night
and do whatever fuck she wants.

380
00:25:19,954 --> 00:25:21,707
It drives me fricking insane.

381
00:25:23,503 --> 00:25:24,462
[Zack sighs]

382
00:25:25,715 --> 00:25:26,842
[baby cooing]

383
00:25:50,932 --> 00:25:53,395
[Keire] My-- My friend, like, messaged me,
he was like, "Hey,

384
00:25:53,688 --> 00:25:57,028
I can get you a job tomorrow,
like, if you wanted." And I was like,

385
00:25:57,194 --> 00:26:01,453
"Yeah." And-- but he's like, "But just
to warn you, it's really hard work."

386
00:26:06,463 --> 00:26:08,425
I don't like telling people
that I'm a dishwasher,

387
00:26:08,885 --> 00:26:13,435
but then again I don't really care, 'cause
it's like, how I make money. [laughing]

388
00:26:15,022 --> 00:26:17,193
It's like definitely my first real job.

389
00:26:19,238 --> 00:26:21,619
'Cause I just don't want to, like, work

390
00:26:21,869 --> 00:26:25,292
some, like job I hate
for the rest of my life.

391
00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:28,841
[machinery whirring]

392
00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:37,274
The Main Street Skatepark,
aka the park set.

393
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,406
[man] Main Street Skatepark
was a skatepark

394
00:26:40,489 --> 00:26:43,161
I had started with a guy that'd run a gym

395
00:26:43,245 --> 00:26:46,292
for a long time and he was looking
for an extra source of income

396
00:26:46,544 --> 00:26:48,004
-during the winter months.
-[men laughing]

397
00:26:48,923 --> 00:26:52,973
[man] You know, I had told him, I have
all this wood, we could build a skatepark.

398
00:26:54,350 --> 00:26:57,314
I'm calling it the Keire box right now
'cause it's really weird-shaped and long.

399
00:26:57,398 --> 00:26:58,358
Crazy.

400
00:26:58,776 --> 00:27:00,947
Dude, what the fuck?

401
00:27:01,364 --> 00:27:03,076
That's how Keire
just walks around, like...

402
00:27:03,953 --> 00:27:07,293
Just lanking, like, your arms
are six feet and funny all the time.

403
00:27:08,713 --> 00:27:10,215
We have two-by-fours...

404
00:27:11,635 --> 00:27:12,971
OK.

405
00:27:19,902 --> 00:27:20,779
Boom.

406
00:27:23,993 --> 00:27:25,454
One and two...

407
00:27:26,749 --> 00:27:28,376
[Zack] My father was a carpenter.

408
00:27:28,460 --> 00:27:31,800
I learned a lot from him
and a lot from my family.

409
00:27:33,721 --> 00:27:39,315
In the 80's, my father started a skatepark
in my grandmother's roller rink.

410
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,866
And, uh, they managed
the only indoor skatepark in the area

411
00:27:43,950 --> 00:27:46,079
for eight years or something like that.

412
00:27:51,172 --> 00:27:54,345
I was, kind of raised to, you know,
like, "Do what you wanna do."

413
00:27:54,846 --> 00:27:58,270
And then, somewhere along the line,
he just, like, flipped the switch,

414
00:27:58,353 --> 00:28:00,858
like, wanted to become,
like, conservative American.

415
00:28:01,442 --> 00:28:04,323
All of a sudden, there were
all these rules and expectations.

416
00:28:05,577 --> 00:28:11,379
They were, like, pushing me into this mold
of someone they thought was a good person.

417
00:28:13,133 --> 00:28:15,429
And I'm like, "Fuck that."
Like, I remember one of... you know,

418
00:28:15,513 --> 00:28:17,726
when I was a kid, like,
we've fucking sung punk music

419
00:28:17,809 --> 00:28:20,523
and fucking smoking joints
and, like, you know, like, fuck that.

420
00:28:36,054 --> 00:28:39,226
[Zack] All right, fine. I'll man-- I'll find
a babysitter then and then fuck you.

421
00:28:39,310 --> 00:28:40,563
I guess I'll talk to you later.

422
00:28:40,647 --> 00:28:43,276
First of all, you're supposed to have
until six p. m., so, I get my Saturday--

423
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:44,696
You knew since Monday

424
00:28:44,780 --> 00:28:46,575
-that I had plans for that.
-Yo, it's that you shouldn't have

425
00:28:46,659 --> 00:28:49,706
fucking made plans for a Saturday
because this is supposed to be my day.

426
00:28:50,248 --> 00:28:52,712
-So, you... you get days off...
-I never get a day to myself.

427
00:28:52,796 --> 00:28:54,131
-...all the time...
-No, I don't.

428
00:28:54,215 --> 00:28:55,968
-I only get two days off a week.
-When do I ever get a day to myself?

429
00:28:56,052 --> 00:28:59,726
-This is supposed to be my day, today.
-OK, bye, Nina.

430
00:29:01,354 --> 00:29:02,439
[Zack sighs]

431
00:29:05,278 --> 00:29:06,615
Ain't that just the way.

432
00:29:08,326 --> 00:29:10,998
[Bing] Do you and Nina ever, like,
just tried talking it out?

433
00:29:15,006 --> 00:29:16,092
Successfully?

434
00:29:17,136 --> 00:29:18,012
Nope.

435
00:29:25,570 --> 00:29:27,574
-She's just so excited.
-I know.

436
00:29:28,576 --> 00:29:32,124
He's had a good day, we're just
playing outside and doing fun stuff, huh?

437
00:29:32,207 --> 00:29:33,501
We have a fire going.

438
00:29:33,669 --> 00:29:35,255
Oh, yeah. You wanna put some boards on it?

439
00:29:35,338 --> 00:29:36,800
-Yeah.
-OK. I'll hold the baby,

440
00:29:36,884 --> 00:29:38,011
you put some boards on there.

441
00:29:40,933 --> 00:29:42,937
[Nina] Me and Zack just fought a lot.

442
00:29:43,021 --> 00:29:47,029
Eventually, I just had to leave,
I'm like, "I can't do this anymore."

443
00:29:48,364 --> 00:29:49,325
Look at Mama.

444
00:29:49,618 --> 00:29:51,329
[Nina] Especially being a mom,

445
00:29:51,412 --> 00:29:54,084
you don't want to see your kid
in an environment like that.

446
00:29:55,420 --> 00:29:57,216
-That should be good, right.
-Yup.

447
00:29:57,759 --> 00:29:59,513
[Nina] I don't really have anywhere to go.

448
00:29:59,596 --> 00:30:02,142
And my aunt and uncle
just wound up being, like,

449
00:30:02,226 --> 00:30:03,854
"Hey, we want to help you."

450
00:30:05,315 --> 00:30:06,527
-Down there?
-Yeah.

451
00:30:07,194 --> 00:30:10,325
[Nina] In a perfect world,
it means, I could still be together.

452
00:30:11,912 --> 00:30:14,668
But I don't know.
Like I wanted to work out with him.

453
00:30:15,210 --> 00:30:16,588
He just doesn't get it.

454
00:30:23,686 --> 00:30:26,107
[Bing] I feel, like, a lot
of our parents are not together.

455
00:30:26,567 --> 00:30:27,694
Were your parents divorced?

456
00:30:32,202 --> 00:30:34,498
[Roberta] Well, he stayed with his dad,

457
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:37,379
because, he told me,
he could raise him better

458
00:30:37,881 --> 00:30:40,636
because he could teach him things
that I couldn't.

459
00:30:41,429 --> 00:30:42,472
[straining]

460
00:30:43,726 --> 00:30:45,897
I really hope
that I don't get back in there

461
00:30:45,980 --> 00:30:48,276
and there'd be,
like, the same amount of boxes.

462
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:50,196
[gasping]

463
00:30:51,658 --> 00:30:53,537
[Keire] You know,
like, I live with my dad,

464
00:30:54,163 --> 00:30:57,461
but he kept trying to make me work
like every single weekend.

465
00:30:58,463 --> 00:31:01,511
You know, I was like, "Come on, like,
I got to skate. I got to skate."

466
00:31:01,595 --> 00:31:04,141
Fuck, then we got into, like a fight.

467
00:31:05,393 --> 00:31:07,481
He was, like, I'm your dad,
like you're going to work,

468
00:31:07,607 --> 00:31:09,276
and I was just, like, "No."

469
00:31:09,903 --> 00:31:11,322
Then I tried to punch him.

470
00:31:14,495 --> 00:31:17,209
And then I moved out, like, the next day.

471
00:31:21,677 --> 00:31:25,643
Actually, one of the last things
I said to my dad was that, "I hate you."

472
00:31:28,774 --> 00:31:31,487
I was just so fucking angry,
'cause he just kicked my ass.

473
00:31:36,790 --> 00:31:37,917
[Bing] Did you see
any violence in your household

474
00:31:38,001 --> 00:31:39,128
when you were growing up?

475
00:31:40,506 --> 00:31:41,633
I don't know, man. It's...

476
00:31:41,717 --> 00:31:43,136
That's a tough question, it's hard--

477
00:31:43,219 --> 00:31:45,641
It depends on
what you determine as violent.

478
00:31:48,104 --> 00:31:50,025
Like, when I was a kid,
if I was fucking up...

479
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,987
[baby cooing]

480
00:31:52,070 --> 00:31:56,454
...I got my ass whooped.
I feel like everyone does. I mean...

481
00:31:59,878 --> 00:32:01,757
Some people got it worse
than other people.

482
00:32:39,331 --> 00:32:40,291
[sighs]

483
00:32:50,228 --> 00:32:51,105
Yeah.

484
00:32:54,403 --> 00:32:56,867
This is my dad's closet, specifically,

485
00:32:57,284 --> 00:33:00,123
and he'd hide everything right here.

486
00:33:00,916 --> 00:33:06,553
Like, my PlayStation controllers,
entire computers, toys,

487
00:33:07,053 --> 00:33:11,771
and then his vintage porn was, like,
in the corner right there in-- in a stack.

488
00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:15,403
Along with, like...

489
00:33:16,155 --> 00:33:19,537
several firearms that were on the floor.

490
00:33:23,252 --> 00:33:26,509
I used to judge my relationship
with my father based on, like,

491
00:33:26,968 --> 00:33:28,680
a day-to-day basis on...

492
00:33:28,931 --> 00:33:32,187
how many things I've done to piss him off
in that given day.

493
00:33:32,688 --> 00:33:36,237
And this day that I was here
playing on the computer,

494
00:33:36,613 --> 00:33:39,744
felt like a good day,
that I hadn't done anything wrong,

495
00:33:40,161 --> 00:33:42,792
it all went without a hitch,
we hadn't talked very much,

496
00:33:42,875 --> 00:33:45,088
there wasn't much opportunity
for me to do anything bad,

497
00:33:46,131 --> 00:33:47,425
but then he just comes in...

498
00:33:48,261 --> 00:33:50,599
looks at me, I turn up and look at him...

499
00:33:52,102 --> 00:33:54,941
and he just says that,
I "look fucking stupid."

500
00:33:55,901 --> 00:33:58,030
And he walks out, and I thought
that was the end of it

501
00:33:58,114 --> 00:34:00,118
I was like,
"Oh, well, OK, that's not too bad"

502
00:34:00,368 --> 00:34:03,709
but then he comes back in
with a pair of, like meat scissors

503
00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:07,257
and he just starts,
he just like grabs my head

504
00:34:07,424 --> 00:34:09,136
and starts hacking my hair off.

505
00:34:20,993 --> 00:34:23,039
Always shut the doors because...

506
00:34:24,041 --> 00:34:27,339
you know, it keeps the-- [clears throat]
keeps the heat in...

507
00:34:29,635 --> 00:34:32,306
That was another thing worth punishing.

508
00:34:37,610 --> 00:34:38,485
[Bing] Where's your room?

509
00:34:39,029 --> 00:34:41,743
Oh, my room? That's right.
This used to be my brother's room.

510
00:34:46,208 --> 00:34:47,210
Uh, that's true.

511
00:34:47,291 --> 00:34:49,299
Um, yeah.

512
00:34:50,552 --> 00:34:51,428
[sighs]

513
00:34:52,097 --> 00:34:54,309
I remember hearing beating...

514
00:34:54,976 --> 00:34:58,067
and, like screaming
coming from your room, and it was like...

515
00:35:00,698 --> 00:35:06,417
unnerving screams of, like,
anguish almost, and I... it was like...

516
00:35:10,801 --> 00:35:15,769
really, really unnerving.
It was almost scaring.

517
00:35:22,323 --> 00:35:23,284
[sighs]

518
00:35:33,053 --> 00:35:33,930
Mom?

519
00:35:37,287 --> 00:35:39,316
Yeah, I have to wash my clothes
and my blankets.

520
00:35:41,886 --> 00:35:44,366
And my-- my blanket. I just need two.

521
00:35:44,408 --> 00:35:45,411
[sniffles]

522
00:35:47,408 --> 00:35:48,918
OK.

523
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,631
[sniffles] Thank you

524
00:35:50,714 --> 00:35:52,258
[man] Use it for one. I need two hours.

525
00:35:52,342 --> 00:35:54,346
-OK. Thank you.
-[man] All right.

526
00:35:56,183 --> 00:36:00,734
[Keire] My mom has this new boyfriend,
and I don't really like him.

527
00:36:05,828 --> 00:36:09,084
[Bing] So, do you have
a new man in your life?

528
00:36:10,169 --> 00:36:11,965
-A new man in my life?
-Yeah.

529
00:36:13,008 --> 00:36:15,806
Hey, ain't this sort of personal there?

530
00:36:25,408 --> 00:36:26,368
Oh...

531
00:36:29,165 --> 00:36:30,167
Yeah?

532
00:36:33,173 --> 00:36:34,635
I'll be back in a minute.

533
00:36:39,394 --> 00:36:43,820
♪ Happy birthday, dear Elliot... ♪

534
00:36:44,195 --> 00:36:49,039
♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪

535
00:36:49,205 --> 00:36:50,918
[crowd cheering]

536
00:36:51,586 --> 00:36:53,506
[woman] He said, "What the heck?"

537
00:36:55,761 --> 00:36:56,763
[woman] Zack, look up.

538
00:36:57,598 --> 00:36:59,602
[indistinct chatter]

539
00:37:01,063 --> 00:37:03,359
Oh, hell, yeah.
It's all up in there, Zack.

540
00:37:04,987 --> 00:37:07,910
[Nina] My family, when I grew up,
we were all were very distant.

541
00:37:09,622 --> 00:37:13,797
It was very chaotic and I'd just stay
in my room the whole time.

542
00:37:15,842 --> 00:37:21,144
I think, 'cause of the way that I grew up,
like I really desperately craved love.

543
00:37:28,952 --> 00:37:31,331
[Zack] I think my dad had me
when he was 21

544
00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:35,882
and my mom left
when I was, like two or something.

545
00:37:37,928 --> 00:37:42,228
And so, I think, I was always looking
for something from my dad

546
00:37:42,311 --> 00:37:43,732
that I didn't get.

547
00:37:44,315 --> 00:37:46,571
Like, maybe something
I was supposed to get from my mom.

548
00:37:47,113 --> 00:37:49,952
I know. It's OK, it's OK.
Elliot, rip that off.

549
00:37:51,246 --> 00:37:53,960
[crowd cheering]

550
00:37:54,879 --> 00:37:55,964
[man whistling]

551
00:37:56,048 --> 00:37:57,216
[woman] All right!

552
00:38:01,349 --> 00:38:02,310
[Zack] Hi, baby.

553
00:38:04,272 --> 00:38:06,026
I love you. Give me a hug.

554
00:38:09,700 --> 00:38:12,038
-Love you, Nina.
-I was telling Bing about how you went

555
00:38:12,121 --> 00:38:14,000
on a date with Katie
and I almost killed her.

556
00:38:14,835 --> 00:38:16,171
-Yeah.
-It was bad.

557
00:38:16,296 --> 00:38:18,425
You know, like,
I'd usually don't get like that.

558
00:38:18,718 --> 00:38:23,310
She showed up at 11 o'clock at night
with this other girl, ready to fight.

559
00:38:24,897 --> 00:38:27,945
See this, you see what I'm dealing with
all the time. This little bitch.

560
00:38:30,324 --> 00:38:32,328
[Zack] Oh! Oh, yeah. Real slick there.

561
00:38:37,673 --> 00:38:39,844
-[man screaming] Fuck!
-[crowd cheering]

562
00:38:41,973 --> 00:38:43,810
-God bless you.
-All right, man.

563
00:38:45,187 --> 00:38:46,064
Do this.

564
00:38:49,154 --> 00:38:50,156
[man] Oh!

565
00:38:50,740 --> 00:38:52,160
-Fuck, yeah!
-That trick made me wanna

566
00:38:52,243 --> 00:38:54,372
touch my body, Keire. I'm not gonna lie.

567
00:38:54,455 --> 00:38:56,544
Like, you wanna take a shower. [laughing]

568
00:38:57,796 --> 00:38:59,800
-Oh, my God.
-Holy fuck.

569
00:39:00,342 --> 00:39:02,848
-That looks fucked up.
-That was crazy.

570
00:39:03,182 --> 00:39:06,856
[Keire] Like, this is the result of,
all those times I've ran away from home

571
00:39:06,939 --> 00:39:07,858
to the skate park.

572
00:39:08,860 --> 00:39:12,241
Like, I'd love for my dad to see
how much progress I've made

573
00:39:12,325 --> 00:39:14,580
since I was a little shithead
trying to escape it.

574
00:39:15,164 --> 00:39:16,667
Uh, it would bother me.

575
00:39:17,126 --> 00:39:18,880
[Keire] Maybe,
he'd just be like, "Oh, damn,

576
00:39:18,963 --> 00:39:21,384
you weren't just wasting
your-- your life.

577
00:39:24,558 --> 00:39:27,021
[Zack] I know
their relationship's definitely strained,

578
00:39:27,898 --> 00:39:30,904
and I don't think Keire really realized
how much his dad meant to him

579
00:39:30,987 --> 00:39:32,991
until his dad actually did pass away.

580
00:39:39,128 --> 00:39:40,715
[Keire] The day that my dad died,

581
00:39:41,383 --> 00:39:45,015
uh, I just got out of school,
it was, like a Friday,

582
00:39:45,517 --> 00:39:49,023
and... I just got off the bus...

583
00:39:49,775 --> 00:39:51,529
My mom was just, like freaking out,

584
00:39:51,612 --> 00:39:53,616
as soon as I got home,
she was, like, freaking out.

585
00:39:54,492 --> 00:39:57,833
And she was like, "He's gone, he's gone."
And I didn't wanna, like, believe it

586
00:39:57,916 --> 00:40:00,337
so, I was all mad at her
for, like, saying that.

587
00:40:00,421 --> 00:40:03,302
I was like, "Dad's strong, he's not dead,
I was like, whatever."

588
00:40:04,345 --> 00:40:07,686
And... they, like brought him out
on that stretcher...

589
00:40:07,769 --> 00:40:11,067
and I was just, like, "Holy fuck!" Like...

590
00:40:11,652 --> 00:40:13,614
He actually looks
kind of dead right there.

591
00:40:14,324 --> 00:40:18,373
And I was just like, "Fuck," and...
I don't know, it's just...

592
00:40:21,589 --> 00:40:22,758
I don't know. Uh...

593
00:40:24,260 --> 00:40:25,722
It's-- It's weird, it's just...

594
00:40:26,891 --> 00:40:29,855
It's just really difficult to...
for me to explain right now.

595
00:40:47,933 --> 00:40:49,937
-Hey.
-Well, hey, there, bud.

596
00:40:53,569 --> 00:40:55,573
[indistinct chatter]

597
00:40:56,449 --> 00:40:58,120
Ready? Come play with Daddy.

598
00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:02,921
Buddy, like this. Just one finger.

599
00:41:03,798 --> 00:41:04,716
Just one.

600
00:41:23,629 --> 00:41:24,882
[Zack] Hold him like this real fast.

601
00:41:24,965 --> 00:41:26,594
All right. I'll hold him
for a second just do your thing.

602
00:41:26,677 --> 00:41:28,054
Come on. Yeah, come here.

603
00:41:38,033 --> 00:41:39,243
Yeah!

604
00:41:40,622 --> 00:41:42,208
We're gonna make it to the poles.

605
00:41:42,876 --> 00:41:45,088
We're gonna make it! Whoo!

606
00:42:06,507 --> 00:42:09,470
[Bing] Uh, what--
what have you guys been up to?

607
00:42:10,765 --> 00:42:14,940
[Zack] Uh... lately we've been
adjusting to, uh...

608
00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:19,448
I don't know. Like, I-- I asked
if I can see my son, like every day

609
00:42:19,533 --> 00:42:21,870
and I only get to see him, like,
three times a week.

610
00:42:21,954 --> 00:42:23,916
It's really been bugging me out,
and she's been like...

611
00:42:24,793 --> 00:42:26,505
She's talking lot of shit, you know,

612
00:42:26,589 --> 00:42:29,761
telling me, you're piece of shit
and all the stuff, and...

613
00:42:30,638 --> 00:42:32,767
-It-- It got out of control, man...
-So...

614
00:42:32,851 --> 00:42:35,355
-I don't know.
-This is the video.

615
00:42:36,984 --> 00:42:39,488
[Nina screaming]

616
00:42:42,537 --> 00:42:45,083
'Cause I hate you
and I'll fucking stab you.

617
00:42:45,292 --> 00:42:47,631
I will fucking stab you
with the fucking knife, Zack.

618
00:42:47,797 --> 00:42:51,597
-Fucking die! Die! Die!
-[Zack] Knock it off!

619
00:42:52,306 --> 00:42:55,354
-This is so fucking??
-[Nina] Get off of me!

620
00:42:55,730 --> 00:42:56,940
[Zack] Then stop it!

621
00:42:57,483 --> 00:42:59,821
-[Nina] Die! Die!
-[Zack] Not gonna stop?

622
00:43:00,155 --> 00:43:03,829
[Nina] You're doing this... it's like
you want me to fucking kill you.

623
00:43:05,374 --> 00:43:07,211
'Cause you're asking for it!

624
00:43:09,591 --> 00:43:12,514
[Bing] Keire showed me some recordings
of you and Zack fighting.

625
00:43:12,931 --> 00:43:14,141
I bet, he did.

626
00:43:14,601 --> 00:43:17,481
[Bing] What--
What were those fights about?

627
00:43:17,565 --> 00:43:19,485
What were they like?

628
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:21,406
Well...

629
00:43:22,157 --> 00:43:24,286
If he showed you the one where,
I'm like, Zack,

630
00:43:24,370 --> 00:43:26,124
-I'm gonna fucking kill you right now.
-Yeah.

631
00:43:26,834 --> 00:43:30,424
He beat my ass 10 minutes
before Keire took that video

632
00:43:30,508 --> 00:43:32,762
and he didn't decide to record that part.

633
00:43:33,597 --> 00:43:36,269
You know, I've got a scar
going down my eyebrow.

634
00:43:36,394 --> 00:43:40,945
I've got... He broke his coffee tables
with my body, like...

635
00:43:42,574 --> 00:43:44,953
Obviously, I'm not in the state of mind,

636
00:43:45,036 --> 00:43:47,792
like, I'm not... I'm going crazy
at this point

637
00:43:47,876 --> 00:43:50,673
because I'm a little girl,
you know, what I mean?

638
00:43:51,048 --> 00:43:53,386
And you have wasted Zack...

639
00:43:54,305 --> 00:43:57,937
doing all that and then it's like,
yeah, I'm gonna... yeah, like...

640
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,235
of course I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna
fucking kill you if you-- you know.

641
00:44:02,154 --> 00:44:03,114
I don't know.

642
00:44:03,866 --> 00:44:06,120
[Bing] I didn't know that?
Why did he... Why was he hitting?

643
00:44:06,872 --> 00:44:08,793
Uh, he gets wasted.

644
00:44:09,502 --> 00:44:11,548
He, you know, will start fighting

645
00:44:11,632 --> 00:44:14,261
and then he'll take it
completely out of control and...

646
00:44:15,973 --> 00:44:20,273
That, I mean, that's not the first time
it's happened, either that recording...

647
00:44:20,650 --> 00:44:24,031
and I mean, I've been like
pretty, like, bruised up

648
00:44:24,114 --> 00:44:27,204
like, I'd have, like a... From him, like,
hitting me and like,

649
00:44:27,287 --> 00:44:31,045
I'd have, like a huge bruise
and like, just all over and then...

650
00:44:31,462 --> 00:44:35,136
You know, he'd like, see them the next day
and he, like, wouldn't even say anything

651
00:44:35,220 --> 00:44:37,182
like, not even a sorry or...

652
00:44:38,268 --> 00:44:39,186
anything like that.

653
00:44:40,731 --> 00:44:43,361
We just kind of ignore it
like it didn't happen.

654
00:44:47,871 --> 00:44:48,747
So...

655
00:45:02,567 --> 00:45:05,363
In a way, your footage will offset
with my footage because...

656
00:45:05,823 --> 00:45:09,706
this is the only time that I haven't shot
in the movie, so, it's like it...

657
00:45:10,123 --> 00:45:13,881
You know, so, like, even when
during the interview, when you're, like,

658
00:45:13,964 --> 00:45:16,427
shoot me, getting
my reaction shots, it'll, like...

659
00:45:17,054 --> 00:45:18,056
I don't know.

660
00:45:20,477 --> 00:45:22,941
We moved to Rockford
when I was eight or nine.

661
00:45:23,358 --> 00:45:25,988
And my mom met my step father...

662
00:45:26,573 --> 00:45:30,288
One day when she was working
at the pizza restaurant, this man came in.

663
00:45:30,413 --> 00:45:32,835
He had been a regular,
he had seen her before.

664
00:45:33,378 --> 00:45:37,845
Um, and he started getting to know her
and then one day he followed her home,

665
00:45:38,262 --> 00:45:40,935
found out where we lived and...

666
00:45:46,112 --> 00:45:47,489
then he became my step dad.

667
00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:53,794
But, um...

668
00:45:54,671 --> 00:45:59,054
Uh, you know, I think I was blaming her
for, sort of abandoning me

669
00:45:59,138 --> 00:46:00,432
when I was a kid.

670
00:46:31,410 --> 00:46:33,414
[indistinct conversation]

671
00:46:37,339 --> 00:46:40,679
Mom, can you, uh, can you clap your hands
just in front of your face?

672
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:42,642
OK.

673
00:46:43,727 --> 00:46:44,729
[Bing chuckles]

674
00:46:44,813 --> 00:46:47,400
-What's that for?
-It's for a sound thing for later.

675
00:46:47,610 --> 00:46:49,196
-Oh.
-Can you see my face OK?

676
00:46:49,572 --> 00:46:52,870
-[stammers] No... Now is OK.
-No? OK.

677
00:46:52,995 --> 00:46:55,041
I'll just try it to hold it here for now.

678
00:46:55,166 --> 00:46:58,674
Now, [mumbles], I can see your eye.
[indistinct]

679
00:46:58,882 --> 00:47:00,970
I know, it's hard with all the lights.
I'm sorry.

680
00:47:01,972 --> 00:47:05,353
Um, so, I'm curious, uh...

681
00:47:05,938 --> 00:47:07,942
-Who is Dennis?
-[man] Hold on a second.

682
00:47:08,025 --> 00:47:08,902
-Oh!
-[man] I'm sorry.

683
00:47:10,948 --> 00:47:11,825
[man] OK.

684
00:47:12,242 --> 00:47:13,745
"Who is Dennis?"

685
00:47:13,912 --> 00:47:15,583
Why did you ask that?

686
00:47:15,875 --> 00:47:19,507
-Uh, because...
-You know who he is.

687
00:47:23,139 --> 00:47:25,226
Well, I don't feel like I know who he is.

688
00:47:28,775 --> 00:47:32,115
Did you know that, um...

689
00:47:33,242 --> 00:47:36,415
the first time I was ever alone with him,
that's when he...

690
00:47:37,334 --> 00:47:38,629
-grabbed me.
-You...

691
00:47:38,921 --> 00:47:40,173
He did-- Wait, what?

692
00:47:40,758 --> 00:47:45,601
The first time I was ever alone with him,
was the first time he grabbed me.

693
00:47:45,726 --> 00:47:46,937
-And hit you?
-Beat me. Yeah.

694
00:47:49,274 --> 00:47:52,239
I mean, how much did you know about
what was happening?

695
00:47:52,907 --> 00:47:54,911
-Because you were always gone working
-Right, right.

696
00:47:54,994 --> 00:47:59,378
Because he retired pretty soon after you,
you and him married.

697
00:47:59,545 --> 00:48:01,508
-Right.
-So, you weren't home that much.

698
00:48:01,591 --> 00:48:03,094
I was just with him.

699
00:48:03,679 --> 00:48:05,306
I think...

700
00:48:07,185 --> 00:48:08,563
[sighs]

701
00:48:08,855 --> 00:48:12,237
I don't-- I don't know
what else to say now.

702
00:48:12,613 --> 00:48:17,330
I wish I can go over, do again,
do differently, but...

703
00:48:17,832 --> 00:48:21,088
I-- I really...
I don't know what else to say now.

704
00:48:21,213 --> 00:48:23,510
It's all past. I-- I...

705
00:48:24,971 --> 00:48:28,394
[sighs] I would not.
I don't know it was that bad.

706
00:48:28,770 --> 00:48:31,526
I don't know he's that bad
especially behind me.

707
00:48:33,739 --> 00:48:37,162
I was... [groans]

708
00:48:38,832 --> 00:48:41,880
I wish I was stronger and I wasn't.

709
00:48:42,172 --> 00:48:45,763
I don't know. I-- I-- I...

710
00:48:48,685 --> 00:48:50,856
I don't know what else to say.

711
00:48:54,279 --> 00:48:55,365
Well...

712
00:48:57,035 --> 00:48:58,663
Did you-- I mean...

713
00:48:59,540 --> 00:49:01,502
But didn't he...

714
00:49:01,795 --> 00:49:05,093
[stammering] When was the first time
that he hurt you?

715
00:49:06,011 --> 00:49:08,809
I don't know what happened.
He come to choke me.

716
00:49:11,564 --> 00:49:13,568
Yeah, he has, few times.

717
00:49:31,722 --> 00:49:32,757
...and they showed up.

718
00:49:40,622 --> 00:49:44,421
-So...
-But the thing is, I was as I tell you,

719
00:49:46,133 --> 00:49:47,636
with him...

720
00:50:28,425 --> 00:50:30,973
[female newscaster] The city of Rockford
is ranked as the number two

721
00:50:31,098 --> 00:50:33,687
most dangerous city with a population
under 200,000 people.

722
00:50:34,104 --> 00:50:35,857
[woman #2] Last year,
the Department of Justice

723
00:50:35,941 --> 00:50:39,281
created a 63-page report just for Rockford

724
00:50:39,364 --> 00:50:41,451
to help it
with it's violent crime problem.

725
00:50:41,536 --> 00:50:45,627
The Rockford police department presenting
final crime statistics for 2015.

726
00:50:45,794 --> 00:50:47,673
About a fourth of that violent crime

727
00:50:47,756 --> 00:50:50,344
can be attributed to
domestic violence incidents.

728
00:50:57,442 --> 00:51:00,532
[exhales, sighs, burps]

729
00:51:01,199 --> 00:51:02,995
You know what I found out today?

730
00:51:03,162 --> 00:51:05,626
Skateboarding thought me
how to be passionate.

731
00:51:06,168 --> 00:51:08,840
-That's where it all started.
-That's where it all started.

732
00:51:09,132 --> 00:51:10,510
-Yup.
-[man laughing]

733
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:12,890
-I'm telling you.
-I didn't mean to laugh at you.

734
00:51:13,182 --> 00:51:14,935
It's all right. I knew that
you were probably just kidding.

735
00:51:15,227 --> 00:51:16,981
I don't like emotions.

736
00:51:19,402 --> 00:51:21,114
And so, I mean, I'm like my dad,

737
00:51:21,198 --> 00:51:22,408
[heavy voice] "There is no such thing
as emotions.

738
00:51:22,492 --> 00:51:24,538
Only work. Get back to it."

739
00:51:25,206 --> 00:51:27,502
[chuckles] "If you work hard enough,

740
00:51:27,711 --> 00:51:29,590
-all of your problems will go away.
-[cell phone ringing]

741
00:51:31,051 --> 00:51:32,428
[ringing continues]

742
00:51:34,307 --> 00:51:35,226
Hello?

743
00:51:35,936 --> 00:51:37,438
[female speaking indistinctly]

744
00:51:38,107 --> 00:51:40,194
All right. I'll be there in, like,
five minutes. Hold on.

745
00:51:41,279 --> 00:51:42,700
-[man] Zack?
-Mmm.

746
00:51:42,866 --> 00:51:44,285
I thought you weren't with Nina anymore.

747
00:51:48,293 --> 00:51:50,464
Um, not really.

748
00:51:51,174 --> 00:51:52,511
We do a lot of talking.

749
00:51:54,431 --> 00:51:55,433
[music playing on radio]

750
00:51:55,517 --> 00:51:56,519
How's work?

751
00:51:57,145 --> 00:51:58,188
[Nina] Good...

752
00:51:59,399 --> 00:52:00,694
[Zack] I like your hair.

753
00:52:01,612 --> 00:52:02,948
It's all swirly.

754
00:52:04,075 --> 00:52:05,161
[chuckles]

755
00:52:05,704 --> 00:52:07,958
I'm sorry.
I won't be nice to you next time.

756
00:52:08,041 --> 00:52:09,085
I'll not say anything.

757
00:52:09,169 --> 00:52:10,922
No, your hair looks like shit, Nina.

758
00:52:11,006 --> 00:52:12,509
-You are welcome.
-[Nina] I'm not used to you being nice to me.

759
00:52:12,926 --> 00:52:14,304
[mocking] Na na na na.

760
00:52:14,513 --> 00:52:16,851
-[Nina] Stop, Zack. I'm driving!
-[both laughing]

761
00:52:18,187 --> 00:52:21,276
-Stop. I'm driving. [continues laughing]
-Think you're a badass, huh?

762
00:52:21,611 --> 00:52:22,946
[indistinct dialogue]

763
00:52:23,155 --> 00:52:24,575
[Elliot crying]

764
00:52:24,867 --> 00:52:27,790
-[Nina] You're freaking Elliot out.
-Elliot's not freaked out.

765
00:52:28,123 --> 00:52:30,127
I mean, he's a little freaked out.

766
00:52:30,879 --> 00:52:32,340
-[roars]
-Stop!

767
00:52:32,591 --> 00:52:33,885
[Elliot crying]

768
00:52:34,302 --> 00:52:37,726
I'll be back.
Veggie burritos, potatoes, horchata.

769
00:52:38,018 --> 00:52:40,189
♪ I'm feeling hot... ♪

770
00:52:40,397 --> 00:52:41,526
[Bing] So, you guys are...

771
00:52:41,734 --> 00:52:43,696
looking better that ever. Like, what's...

772
00:52:43,905 --> 00:52:45,575
[Nina] I'm gonna take it day by day

773
00:52:45,992 --> 00:52:50,251
because I feel like he's just gonna
let me down again. So...

774
00:52:50,794 --> 00:52:54,467
If I don't take him seriously,
I'm not gonna be let down.

775
00:52:54,552 --> 00:52:56,556
So, I'm just, like,
going with it, I guess.

776
00:53:06,632 --> 00:53:07,828
-To him? Don't.
-Yeah.

777
00:53:07,828 --> 00:53:11,459
That's a bad... That's... no.

778
00:53:11,544 --> 00:53:14,967
-I mean...
-I just think it's so prevalent,

779
00:53:15,175 --> 00:53:17,305
uh, like, violence towards women.

780
00:53:17,639 --> 00:53:21,772
And I saw that towards my mother
and I just think it's...

781
00:53:22,023 --> 00:53:23,818
Right. I don't think--

782
00:53:23,902 --> 00:53:26,991
[Bing] She had the same idea.
She was, like, "I don't wanna speak up."

783
00:53:27,241 --> 00:53:28,661
Right. I mean...

784
00:53:31,876 --> 00:53:33,045
I don't know.

785
00:53:33,378 --> 00:53:35,759
Especially like, with me and him,
like, kinda...

786
00:53:36,259 --> 00:53:38,514
being OK right now
and like hanging out.

787
00:53:38,598 --> 00:53:40,476
Like, all that would go down the drain.

788
00:53:40,936 --> 00:53:42,313
[Bing] OK.

789
00:53:42,940 --> 00:53:44,610
-[door opens]
-But, yeah.

790
00:53:45,570 --> 00:53:47,239
That took a long time.

791
00:53:47,365 --> 00:53:48,618
[Zack] It's 50 bucks.

792
00:53:49,995 --> 00:53:51,832
-[Nina] That's 50?
-Yeah.

793
00:54:02,980 --> 00:54:04,525
I'm fucking beat, dude?

794
00:54:05,527 --> 00:54:07,948
I don't know what else to say. I'm beat.

795
00:54:08,448 --> 00:54:09,702
Wait a second.

796
00:54:11,121 --> 00:54:12,791
Dude, what's today?

797
00:54:17,091 --> 00:54:18,803
I thought it was fucking Friday.

798
00:54:19,763 --> 00:54:21,517
I don't gonna have to go back to work.

799
00:54:24,313 --> 00:54:25,441
Yes!

800
00:54:26,026 --> 00:54:28,196
Oh, my God, yes!

801
00:54:28,656 --> 00:54:30,535
Oh, my God.

802
00:54:48,780 --> 00:54:50,032
[chuckles]

803
00:54:52,077 --> 00:54:55,250
I got my car probably a month or two ago.

804
00:54:56,169 --> 00:55:02,097
How many people you know have
a portable ledge on the back?

805
00:55:06,231 --> 00:55:07,149
I quit.

806
00:55:17,671 --> 00:55:21,512
I feel like if I stay here,
I'm just gonna get stuck here.

807
00:55:23,891 --> 00:55:25,143
[siren wailing]

808
00:55:25,603 --> 00:55:28,233
But, like, moving out
has just always been scary.

809
00:55:28,734 --> 00:55:30,572
Like, I don't wanna just move out
and just think,

810
00:55:30,822 --> 00:55:33,410
by the time rent comes around,
I don't have the money.

811
00:55:33,578 --> 00:55:35,582
Because then,
I would look stupid and irresponsible.

812
00:55:40,508 --> 00:55:41,969
What's good, Merlin?

813
00:55:43,681 --> 00:55:45,602
Yo, we're filming that rap video.

814
00:55:45,685 --> 00:55:47,229
We're, we're filming a rap video.

815
00:55:47,647 --> 00:55:51,822
[indistinct singing]

816
00:55:54,214 --> 00:55:55,622
[Merlin] No, we're not guilty.

817
00:55:55,622 --> 00:55:56,707
[man in wheelchair]
That's what they all say.

818
00:55:56,790 --> 00:55:59,086
-[Merlin] We didn't do it.
-He's like, "That's what they all think."

819
00:56:01,257 --> 00:56:04,221
Like, see, that shit right there.
Like right above the pedometer,

820
00:56:04,556 --> 00:56:07,061
I have like my registration,
my insurance, my license.

821
00:56:07,227 --> 00:56:08,981
So, you don't have to reach
for anything in your pockets.

822
00:56:09,065 --> 00:56:11,152
Dude, coppers like,
"License and registration."

823
00:56:11,235 --> 00:56:13,198
And I was like sure
and I reached over there

824
00:56:13,323 --> 00:56:16,580
to the fucking... uh, the glove box.
The cop over there is like...

825
00:56:16,997 --> 00:56:19,836
I was just like,
"Oh, don't fucking shoot me."

826
00:56:19,962 --> 00:56:21,757
They are like, "Calm down." I was like,
what do you mean, "Calm down"?

827
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,552
You guys fucking calm down.

828
00:56:23,678 --> 00:56:27,476
You fucking pulled
your gun on me for-- for...

829
00:56:27,727 --> 00:56:29,773
like, obeying what you said.
[chuckles]

830
00:56:30,023 --> 00:56:32,444
It's just-- it's just...
a bunch of shit, you know?

831
00:56:32,946 --> 00:56:34,281
[Zack] Did you see that one?

832
00:56:34,365 --> 00:56:36,411
-Like at the gas station? Yeah.
-You saw that one?

833
00:56:36,537 --> 00:56:38,456
-He's like, give me your drivers licence.
-That fucking terrified me.

834
00:56:38,582 --> 00:56:41,337
So, the guy turns around and goes
in his car to get his driver's licence

835
00:56:41,421 --> 00:56:42,841
and the cop just shoots him,
like, four times.

836
00:56:43,216 --> 00:56:45,805
I can die really easily here.

837
00:56:46,097 --> 00:56:49,771
-This is going to suck.
-Here no, this is like the funniest video ever.

838
00:56:49,855 --> 00:56:51,232
I have to show you this.

839
00:56:51,441 --> 00:56:54,531
[man in video]
...dumb niggers, dork niggers,

840
00:56:54,906 --> 00:56:56,409
Asian niggers,

841
00:56:56,702 --> 00:56:57,871
white niggers.

842
00:56:57,996 --> 00:56:59,331
[man #2] Suck my dick, bitch!

843
00:56:59,415 --> 00:57:02,839
Pundits and niggas just waiting
for your mother fucking call,

844
00:57:03,131 --> 00:57:06,304
they all talking shit about you.

845
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:08,601
[video continues]

846
00:57:11,314 --> 00:57:12,817
[harmonica playing]

847
00:57:15,573 --> 00:57:20,833
[Keire] Growing up,
my dad would always tell me,

848
00:57:21,417 --> 00:57:23,254
"Keire, like, you know,
you have a lot of white friends,

849
00:57:23,338 --> 00:57:24,716
but don't forget that you're black."

850
00:57:38,994 --> 00:57:41,124
You mind taking a nap, buddy?

851
00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:44,923
-[woman] Hi!
-[indistinct chat]

852
00:57:45,716 --> 00:57:47,344
Let me have a kiss first.

853
00:57:49,098 --> 00:57:52,479
I get him first.

854
00:57:54,316 --> 00:57:56,613
[Nina] We didn't, like,
hug or anything in my family.

855
00:57:56,822 --> 00:57:59,786
So, when I first moved out
from me and Zack's apartment,

856
00:57:59,995 --> 00:58:03,209
like, my aunt would give me a hug
every night before I went to bed and...

857
00:58:03,293 --> 00:58:05,590
it was so weird to me
and at first, I be like, "Ugh!"

858
00:58:05,965 --> 00:58:08,136
Like, you're touching me.
Like don't please!

859
00:58:08,637 --> 00:58:11,518
And then after a while, I was, like,
"OK, I'm going to bed."

860
00:58:12,477 --> 00:58:14,190
You know, "Where's my hug?"

861
00:58:14,481 --> 00:58:16,360
[Elliot cooing]

862
00:58:16,570 --> 00:58:18,198
It's nap time, baby.

863
00:58:18,574 --> 00:58:21,454
I never really knew what like
a family was.

864
00:58:21,454 --> 00:58:24,878
I would be very like "Ah! Are you OK?"

865
00:58:24,878 --> 00:58:28,719
Like my aunt and uncle showed me that.
They pretty much adopted me...

866
00:58:28,928 --> 00:58:30,472
[chuckling] ... at the age of 21.

867
00:58:30,556 --> 00:58:32,392
But it still scares me
when he gets on the skateboard.

868
00:58:32,476 --> 00:58:34,313
-I'm just like...
-[aunt] Mm-hmm.

869
00:58:34,564 --> 00:58:36,359
-We need to find him a little helmet.
-Yeah.

870
00:58:37,277 --> 00:58:38,572
Come here. Come on, bubba.

871
00:58:38,906 --> 00:58:42,789
[Nina] Like, now I know,
what I want my family to be like someday.

872
00:58:45,544 --> 00:58:47,172
[groans]

873
00:58:50,513 --> 00:58:52,850
[Bing] How've you and Zack been?

874
00:58:54,061 --> 00:58:59,446
Uh, same as always.
He's just doing his own thing.

875
00:58:59,531 --> 00:59:01,785
[man on TV] Looks like a job for Superman.

876
00:59:02,829 --> 00:59:05,458
[Bing] Is it hard for you
to move on from him?

877
00:59:05,793 --> 00:59:07,880
[Elliot playing with a car]

878
00:59:08,381 --> 00:59:09,759
I mean...

879
00:59:10,218 --> 00:59:13,349
I don't go one day
without thinking about him.

880
00:59:14,143 --> 00:59:16,355
Really, like, worrying about him or, like,

881
00:59:16,857 --> 00:59:18,986
wishing he'd call and, like...

882
00:59:19,361 --> 00:59:22,618
You know, not even just for me,
but for Elliot, too, like...

883
00:59:25,206 --> 00:59:27,002
I don't know.

884
00:59:28,379 --> 00:59:30,342
Why do you put up with that, though.

885
00:59:32,346 --> 00:59:35,561
I mean, even though,
I've seen the worst of him,

886
00:59:35,811 --> 00:59:38,274
I've... you know, I know that there is...

887
00:59:38,609 --> 00:59:41,072
a lot of good things about him too.

888
00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:51,258
[indistinct conversation]

889
00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:53,304
[dishes clanking]

890
00:59:54,223 --> 00:59:57,354
I need, uh... fries, please,
for the steak sandwich.

891
01:00:06,581 --> 01:00:09,879
Here you are, sir.
All right. I'll go grab your menu.

892
01:00:09,963 --> 01:00:11,215
Seriously, man.

893
01:00:13,512 --> 01:00:16,058
This is, like, so much better
than being back there

894
01:00:16,225 --> 01:00:17,937
and having to do all of that.

895
01:00:21,695 --> 01:00:26,287
Right now, it's like, I don't have to ask
my mom for money. I can give her money.

896
01:00:26,538 --> 01:00:31,046
Like, our water was gonna get cut off
and I, like, helped pay the bill.

897
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,552
I felt good really about that.

898
01:00:38,562 --> 01:00:40,315
With Zack...

899
01:00:40,733 --> 01:00:42,737
we have drifted apart a little bit

900
01:00:42,945 --> 01:00:44,782
just 'cause, like, I'm not over there,
like, everyday.

901
01:00:46,745 --> 01:00:48,999
I started hanging out with, like,
my younger skate friends again.

902
01:00:50,043 --> 01:00:53,382
I noticed, like,
they were on a better path.

903
01:00:55,136 --> 01:00:56,515
[man] What classes are you taking?

904
01:00:56,598 --> 01:00:58,267
Graphic cards technology
or graphic design.

905
01:00:58,351 --> 01:00:59,896
[man] Sounds like a Gen. Ed. of Liberal Arts.
[Evan] Yes.

906
01:00:59,979 --> 01:01:02,275
[man] I'm just, I'm just gonna get
something general at first, like,

907
01:01:02,359 --> 01:01:03,904
and see what kind of jobs I can get.

908
01:01:05,699 --> 01:01:07,327
[Bing] You guys are getting your GED's?

909
01:01:07,703 --> 01:01:12,630
Um, I have. Evan has his.
He-- he graduated and, like...

910
01:01:13,005 --> 01:01:15,928
I don't know, It's just,
I can just prove people wrong.

911
01:01:17,180 --> 01:01:23,025
Oh, yeah! Dude. I remembered something
that my like, dad told me about um, being black.

912
01:01:23,359 --> 01:01:25,698
He said, like, being black is cool

913
01:01:25,781 --> 01:01:27,994
because you get to prove people wrong
like, everyday.

914
01:01:29,664 --> 01:01:32,168
Like, you sound the way that you sound,
so, like, you don't...

915
01:01:32,419 --> 01:01:34,298
you know it's like,
you just prove them wrong.

916
01:01:34,464 --> 01:01:38,932
[stammers] There's like-- they probably
feel a little shitty for... for profiling you.

917
01:01:39,266 --> 01:01:41,646
Like, I can only imagine,
like feeling like that.

918
01:01:41,980 --> 01:01:44,359
I was the only--
the only white kid for, like four years,

919
01:01:44,484 --> 01:01:45,863
at least, in my class.

920
01:01:46,238 --> 01:01:49,369
So, I had to learn real quick that like,
"Oh, shit, I'm in trouble."

921
01:01:49,704 --> 01:01:52,083
Like right away, people were
mad at me for being white

922
01:01:52,167 --> 01:01:53,461
after, like, first history class.

923
01:01:53,879 --> 01:01:57,218
In reality, you don't have like,
as much say because you are white.

924
01:01:57,469 --> 01:01:59,515
But [stammers] But I'm educated, though.

925
01:02:00,099 --> 01:02:04,358
You're educated 'cause you went through
just as much as high school as him?

926
01:02:04,483 --> 01:02:06,236
-So you know more than him?
-No.

927
01:02:06,362 --> 01:02:09,493
Even though, your race didn't
go through the same thing as his did.

928
01:02:09,702 --> 01:02:11,956
'Cause my race went through it,
doesn't mean I went through it.

929
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:14,962
[Evan] He doesn't have the same
disadvantages everyday that you don't have?

930
01:02:16,215 --> 01:02:18,260
[man] There's a certain class
of whites that's not--

931
01:02:18,344 --> 01:02:19,764
"It's easy to be white in America."

932
01:02:19,889 --> 01:02:22,185
But then, if you're, like,
trailer-trash white and shit,

933
01:02:22,268 --> 01:02:24,022
then it's not easy to live in America.
Like...

934
01:02:24,189 --> 01:02:25,818
I feel like it is easy, though.

935
01:02:25,901 --> 01:02:28,322
Like you still...
like you can fuckin' just cut your hair

936
01:02:28,406 --> 01:02:30,577
and go and get a fucking job
because they don't look at you, like...

937
01:02:30,911 --> 01:02:32,915
[man] But when you're fucking
stupid you can't do that.

938
01:02:32,998 --> 01:02:35,002
But if you're stupid you can't do that.

939
01:02:35,546 --> 01:02:36,548
[Keire] When I was younger,

940
01:02:36,673 --> 01:02:40,054
I didn't really understand what my dad
was talking about being black so much.

941
01:02:40,723 --> 01:02:44,438
But I remember, he was like,
if you could choose again,

942
01:02:44,856 --> 01:02:46,442
choose to-- to be black.

943
01:02:47,152 --> 01:02:49,406
And at first, I didn't get it.
I was, like,

944
01:02:49,489 --> 01:02:52,495
"Why would you wanna be black
when all that shit's happening to us?"

945
01:02:54,917 --> 01:02:57,506
But he explained it as like...

946
01:02:58,215 --> 01:03:00,470
Because we have to deal
with these issues,

947
01:03:01,388 --> 01:03:03,476
it just makes...

948
01:03:04,019 --> 01:03:07,233
other things that, like, my white friends
would complain about,

949
01:03:07,317 --> 01:03:09,321
like, not even be a problem to me.

950
01:03:10,114 --> 01:03:11,576
[sighs]

951
01:03:23,725 --> 01:03:27,983
[Joseph] My father's skatepark went under
because of a downfall in skateboarding.

952
01:03:29,110 --> 01:03:33,244
Mine didn't succeed because I got
hooked up with a bad partner.

953
01:03:35,081 --> 01:03:39,130
One day, he calls me and he's like,
hey, I'm going to go on a vacation.

954
01:03:40,466 --> 01:03:42,220
I fucking never heard from the dude again.

955
01:03:42,428 --> 01:03:43,430
Never.

956
01:03:43,974 --> 01:03:45,226
Come to find out...

957
01:03:45,309 --> 01:03:48,148
the guy had never paid any of our bills.

958
01:03:48,357 --> 01:03:51,573
All the money we were making,
everything, he just was keeping it.

959
01:03:52,490 --> 01:03:53,827
And that fucked me over.

960
01:03:53,994 --> 01:03:55,079
I mean, I've-- I've never--

961
01:03:55,288 --> 01:03:58,712
I don't feel like I've done anything
I've ever wanted to do with my life.

962
01:04:06,018 --> 01:04:07,103
[door squeaking]

963
01:04:07,395 --> 01:04:08,565
There it is.

964
01:04:09,482 --> 01:04:11,069
That's a five-day notice.

965
01:04:14,869 --> 01:04:16,581
I try not to come over here.

966
01:04:16,748 --> 01:04:18,500
Just like Zack and Kyle don't.

967
01:04:18,877 --> 01:04:23,678
Clearly, I mean...
Do you even want to be here? No.

968
01:04:24,304 --> 01:04:26,058
[Bing] Why's all that shit broken?

969
01:04:26,726 --> 01:04:28,521
-What?
-The ground.

970
01:04:28,688 --> 01:04:30,734
-The ground?
-Yeah, what is all this?

971
01:04:30,943 --> 01:04:33,197
Poop, it's all poop, dude.

972
01:04:37,831 --> 01:04:41,004
All right.
Let's get out of this fucking place.

973
01:04:45,681 --> 01:04:47,016
[man] I feel like I never see Zack.

974
01:04:48,143 --> 01:04:50,481
Remember when I used to
like, skip school?

975
01:04:50,607 --> 01:04:52,360
I was just like,
"Oh, he didn't finish school."

976
01:04:52,528 --> 01:04:54,740
Remember, like, he's doing fine.
I'll be fine.

977
01:04:54,824 --> 01:04:57,788
Yeah, but, like, now, like,
I see them now, I'm, like, "Fuck!"

978
01:04:58,080 --> 01:04:59,165
[man chuckling]

979
01:04:59,457 --> 01:05:03,132
I don't know, like, I don't think
they have electricity right now.

980
01:05:03,842 --> 01:05:05,887
-Like, that's gonna...
-Yeah, that's what I heard.

981
01:05:06,096 --> 01:05:07,056
That's fucked up.

982
01:05:08,727 --> 01:05:12,901
[Keire] When I was younger, everybody just
seemed like they had it all figured out.

983
01:05:13,235 --> 01:05:17,870
You know like... which was the dumbest thing
that I could have ever told myself.

984
01:05:18,078 --> 01:05:21,043
Like, no one knows
what the fuck they're doing, like...

985
01:05:21,794 --> 01:05:23,882
[train bell tolling]

986
01:05:36,031 --> 01:05:37,075
Shwoop.

987
01:05:38,870 --> 01:05:41,751
What kind of filming are we doing?
The kind where I pretend you are not there

988
01:05:42,043 --> 01:05:43,546
or the other kind?

989
01:05:45,663 --> 01:05:48,013
Where we talk the whole time.
[both laughing]

990
01:05:58,952 --> 01:05:59,870
OK.

991
01:06:00,371 --> 01:06:01,289
All right, I think I got it.

992
01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:06,216
Oh, I didn't plan on
moving here at all, like.

993
01:06:06,258 --> 01:06:08,638
Like, this girl that lives out here
hit me up.

994
01:06:08,721 --> 01:06:11,476
She bought me a plane ticket.
Got me, like $180 Uber

995
01:06:11,561 --> 01:06:13,355
to fucking the Milwaukee airport.

996
01:06:13,898 --> 01:06:14,942
Came out here.

997
01:06:15,527 --> 01:06:17,781
I was originally gonna be
out here for two weeks.

998
01:06:18,783 --> 01:06:21,747
And, like, she's like
no, you are just gonna live with me now.

999
01:06:22,833 --> 01:06:25,797
You know, not picky.
I was like, "All right."

1000
01:06:27,175 --> 01:06:29,470
I don't know, fuck, I'm doing, like,
pretty good out here, though.

1001
01:06:29,555 --> 01:06:30,515
Like, I'm working.

1002
01:06:31,266 --> 01:06:33,813
I've been like, drinking a lot less.
And I'm definitely not like...

1003
01:06:34,607 --> 01:06:36,276
just fucking off as much.

1004
01:06:36,652 --> 01:06:38,113
Fucking...

1005
01:06:39,199 --> 01:06:40,994
Can you hear me, like,
in your headphones right now?

1006
01:06:41,077 --> 01:06:44,500
-Yeah.
-There's liquor in this cup.

1007
01:06:50,931 --> 01:06:54,229
-[Nina] So, west, fifth street.
-[seatbelt alarm beeping]

1008
01:06:54,312 --> 01:06:57,360
This is Walnut, so I need to be going...

1009
01:06:57,736 --> 01:06:59,030
that way.

1010
01:07:02,203 --> 01:07:03,790
[Elliot mumbling]

1011
01:07:03,998 --> 01:07:05,209
-What?
-Momma.

1012
01:07:05,877 --> 01:07:07,965
-Baby.
-Take a right.

1013
01:07:08,257 --> 01:07:10,887
-What?
-Take a right.

1014
01:07:13,016 --> 01:07:16,481
Zack told me that he was going
to Colorado, but, um...

1015
01:07:16,565 --> 01:07:18,820
he said that he's only going like,
for a couple of days.

1016
01:07:19,237 --> 01:07:22,536
Then he wound up calling me
while he was there, like,

1017
01:07:22,744 --> 01:07:24,080
"Oh, I'm gonna stay here."

1018
01:07:31,595 --> 01:07:35,019
[inaudible chatter]

1019
01:07:37,858 --> 01:07:39,027
[Zack] Are my teeth yellow?

1020
01:07:41,197 --> 01:07:46,207
[Zack] When he does get stable,
he's gonna wanna be with Elliot again.

1021
01:07:46,291 --> 01:07:49,506
And he's gonna wanna be a family
becase that's what he tells me.

1022
01:07:49,590 --> 01:07:50,466
[explosive sounds]

1023
01:07:50,550 --> 01:07:52,053
[Nina] But then again,
all I really have is his word,

1024
01:07:52,136 --> 01:07:55,935
which I don't even know if that's true
because there's so many why's.

1025
01:07:56,144 --> 01:07:57,355
Do you know what I mean?

1026
01:07:59,943 --> 01:08:01,321
[Zack] Oh, I'm drunk as fuck!

1027
01:08:01,404 --> 01:08:02,699
This is a perfect night.

1028
01:08:04,285 --> 01:08:07,166
[Keire] It's hard to get
who Zack actually is

1029
01:08:07,249 --> 01:08:11,424
because there's so many versions of him,
that he might tell you about.

1030
01:08:16,017 --> 01:08:17,938
[Keire] It's frustrating. It's like...

1031
01:08:18,270 --> 01:08:22,154
You're supposed to be, like, my homie,
but I feel like I don't know the real you.

1032
01:08:23,198 --> 01:08:26,496
[Nina gasps] You spilled juice
all over your pants.

1033
01:08:26,622 --> 01:08:27,707
It's OK.

1034
01:08:31,590 --> 01:08:33,343
[aunt] Oh, hi, Elliot!

1035
01:08:33,385 --> 01:08:34,680
-Hey, Nina.
-Hi.

1036
01:08:34,763 --> 01:08:35,682
[drums playing]

1037
01:08:35,765 --> 01:08:36,684
-[aunt] You look cute.
-Yeah.

1038
01:08:36,767 --> 01:08:39,147
I figure that if I'm gonna go do this
at the courthouse,

1039
01:08:39,272 --> 01:08:40,608
I need to look presentable.

1040
01:08:44,198 --> 01:08:46,912
He needs to know
that there's consequences,

1041
01:08:47,037 --> 01:08:49,667
like, you can't just have a child
and abandon them.

1042
01:08:50,502 --> 01:08:53,926
Life doesn't work like that
and he needs a reality check

1043
01:08:54,093 --> 01:08:57,684
and I feel like, you know,
this is a good way to do that.

1044
01:08:58,350 --> 01:09:02,694
I'm here to try and start the process
of child support.

1045
01:09:02,944 --> 01:09:04,990
[woman] You said, child support?

1046
01:09:06,117 --> 01:09:09,666
[Nina] Maybe that'll also encourage him
to wanna come around more.

1047
01:09:09,917 --> 01:09:12,589
It's like, maybe if he's paying for him,
he'll wanna see him.

1048
01:09:12,714 --> 01:09:14,008
But, you know, like, I don't know.

1049
01:09:15,344 --> 01:09:17,223
I'm just trying to do what I can, I guess.

1050
01:09:19,185 --> 01:09:20,772
[Keire] I'm just, I'm just playing.
Don't start crying.

1051
01:09:21,147 --> 01:09:22,943
Look how much fun jumping is, um,

1052
01:09:23,318 --> 01:09:25,782
when you don't have to cut-- Mom, Mom.

1053
01:09:25,865 --> 01:09:27,326
-He's making noises.
-Come on, Coco.

1054
01:09:27,577 --> 01:09:28,537
Come on, child.

1055
01:09:28,621 --> 01:09:31,334
See, like, everyone loves grandma,
no one likes their uncle.

1056
01:09:34,633 --> 01:09:37,805
[Bing] Are you still with...
Are you still with your boyfriend?

1057
01:09:38,098 --> 01:09:39,350
What boyfriend?

1058
01:09:39,475 --> 01:09:41,145
I thought you had a boyfriend for a while.

1059
01:09:41,312 --> 01:09:44,068
No, he wasn't a boyfriend.
He was a stupid friend.

1060
01:09:45,112 --> 01:09:48,243
No, he's not around anymore.

1061
01:09:48,368 --> 01:09:49,412
Thank goodness.

1062
01:09:49,580 --> 01:09:50,622
[playing sounds]

1063
01:09:52,919 --> 01:09:55,675
[Keire] The older I get,
the more I think about it.

1064
01:09:55,883 --> 01:09:59,683
I feel like there is a part of me
that really loves my family.

1065
01:10:00,183 --> 01:10:02,522
All right, all right, calm down. Just ca--

1066
01:10:03,524 --> 01:10:07,824
I guess, because family will,
will, like, always be there but...

1067
01:10:08,074 --> 01:10:10,370
but friends, kinda like come and go.

1068
01:10:10,622 --> 01:10:13,084
-Help me!
-God!

1069
01:10:13,335 --> 01:10:15,172
-Wassup, bro.
-Wassup, Zack.

1070
01:10:15,255 --> 01:10:16,382
All he's done is bitch and moan
for the last ten minutes.

1071
01:10:16,466 --> 01:10:17,886
-[Bing] How's it going?
-Good.

1072
01:10:20,245 --> 01:10:21,926
I know, happy to be home.
I'll tell you what...

1073
01:10:22,938 --> 01:10:24,566
-Let's do this.
-Observe.

1074
01:10:24,775 --> 01:10:26,612
-[grunts]
-[woman] Zack!

1075
01:10:26,779 --> 01:10:29,033
[Zack] Denver wasn't really,
like, my style.

1076
01:10:30,494 --> 01:10:33,960
I felt like a lot of the people
that were down there,

1077
01:10:34,377 --> 01:10:36,297
a lot of them were, like, privileged.

1078
01:10:36,590 --> 01:10:40,682
So, Sam, my current girlfriend
flew me back out to Rockford.

1079
01:10:41,015 --> 01:10:42,727
I have Sam's name tattooed
on my wrist now.

1080
01:10:43,061 --> 01:10:45,190
[Bing] When did you get
Sam's name tattooed on there?

1081
01:10:45,733 --> 01:10:47,236
-[Sam] When or why?
-Uh, Saturday?

1082
01:10:47,737 --> 01:10:48,948
I don't know.

1083
01:10:49,741 --> 01:10:50,618
[Bing] You paid for it.

1084
01:10:50,743 --> 01:10:51,912
-[Zack] She paid for it.
-I paid for it.

1085
01:10:54,041 --> 01:10:55,795
[Bing] Do you feel, like, concerned

1086
01:10:55,878 --> 01:10:58,968
that Elliot's gonna grow up
like, messed up?

1087
01:11:01,932 --> 01:11:04,061
[sighs] I'm 50-50 about it.

1088
01:11:07,777 --> 01:11:12,327
Lately, I have been concerned
over my influence on him.

1089
01:11:12,871 --> 01:11:16,377
And, as he gets older,

1090
01:11:17,756 --> 01:11:20,427
how he's gonna look
at the difference between

1091
01:11:21,054 --> 01:11:22,974
the way his family lives

1092
01:11:23,099 --> 01:11:25,730
and the way I live. And...

1093
01:11:27,232 --> 01:11:30,030
A lot of people grow up,
and they're all...

1094
01:11:30,363 --> 01:11:32,367
"I'm gonna play football,
and I'm gonna go to college,

1095
01:11:32,493 --> 01:11:35,082
and I'm gonna get this nice office job,
and start a family,

1096
01:11:35,332 --> 01:11:39,173
and have two point five kids,
and a car, and a garage,

1097
01:11:39,256 --> 01:11:42,972
and everything's just gonna be nice,
and I'll buy a boat, and a snowmobile."

1098
01:11:43,139 --> 01:11:45,185
Like, fuck you, you piece of shit.

1099
01:11:45,352 --> 01:11:48,316
Like, just 'cause you're too fucking
weak to make your own decisions

1100
01:11:48,399 --> 01:11:50,153
and decide what you wanna do
with your own life.

1101
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:52,366
Doesn't mean everyone else
is gotta be like you.

1102
01:11:53,034 --> 01:11:55,497
I don't know, fuck.

1103
01:11:56,457 --> 01:11:57,710
[continues chuckling]

1104
01:11:57,961 --> 01:12:00,423
-All right, ask me another question.
-[man chuckles]

1105
01:12:00,842 --> 01:12:03,263
[Bing] I guess, my thing was like,
you know...

1106
01:12:03,848 --> 01:12:06,687
I grew up without knowing my dad.

1107
01:12:06,812 --> 01:12:08,816
I saw him three times since I was five.

1108
01:12:09,108 --> 01:12:13,449
And, uh, my stepdad used to
beat the shit out of me and my mom.

1109
01:12:13,576 --> 01:12:16,038
-Right.
-And, so, I don't know how I--

1110
01:12:16,372 --> 01:12:17,792
why did I choose this life?

1111
01:12:18,209 --> 01:12:20,882
Not that I'm, like,
gonna get married, and buy a house.

1112
01:12:21,090 --> 01:12:22,342
But like, I don't know.

1113
01:12:22,426 --> 01:12:25,558
You want, you want me
to comment on your direction?

1114
01:12:25,683 --> 01:12:26,852
[Bing] Yeah.

1115
01:12:28,146 --> 01:12:29,398
[Zack] That's, that's the difference.

1116
01:12:29,608 --> 01:12:34,116
Like you-- Some-- some people
do take their negative experiences

1117
01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:37,624
and turn them into powerful,
positive things.

1118
01:12:38,834 --> 01:12:43,051
I just don't think
I'm that type of person. I think I've...

1119
01:12:45,013 --> 01:12:47,644
I've found myself in a position
where I was...

1120
01:12:48,353 --> 01:12:52,612
so depressed that I just, I wanted it
to just get as bad as it could,

1121
01:12:52,695 --> 01:12:54,240
just bad as it could until I died.

1122
01:12:54,699 --> 01:12:58,958
[singing]

1123
01:13:00,293 --> 01:13:02,214
-Could be worse.
-[Sam] Don't play with my knife.

1124
01:13:02,507 --> 01:13:04,176
-Don't play with my knife.
-Take it off.

1125
01:13:04,385 --> 01:13:05,763
Quit being a pussy.

1126
01:13:06,013 --> 01:13:09,019
♪ I want you to be mine again
Actually ♪

1127
01:13:09,311 --> 01:13:14,781
♪ I know my lifestyle
Is driving you crazy ♪

1128
01:13:15,156 --> 01:13:18,413
Cool. Saw my fucking head off.
Don't be a pussy.

1129
01:13:18,496 --> 01:13:20,584
-No.
-Oh, you're such a wuss.

1130
01:13:36,157 --> 01:13:40,666
[Keire] It's like this place
just like eats away at you.

1131
01:13:40,958 --> 01:13:45,425
I don't know. I just don't wanna
get trapped here and lockered

1132
01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:47,471
like a lot of people have.

1133
01:13:48,348 --> 01:13:51,395
[rap music playing on the stereo]

1134
01:13:52,815 --> 01:13:55,153
I tried stashing away my money

1135
01:13:55,529 --> 01:13:58,660
and then my fucking brother
broke into my room and stole it.

1136
01:13:58,994 --> 01:14:01,165
[music continues playing]

1137
01:14:07,344 --> 01:14:10,475
If-- if I ever to told my dad
what my brother did to me,

1138
01:14:10,851 --> 01:14:13,565
my dad would be like
on his ass right now.

1139
01:14:13,732 --> 01:14:15,611
He'll like... He'd be so...
Oh, my God!

1140
01:14:17,114 --> 01:14:19,201
I-- I remember, this one time...

1141
01:14:19,953 --> 01:14:23,501
I think, I, like, stole something
or something, I was like little.

1142
01:14:24,879 --> 01:14:27,426
Like, 12, maybe. I stole something.

1143
01:14:28,136 --> 01:14:31,058
That was the worst ass whopping
I've ever gotten.

1144
01:14:31,183 --> 01:14:34,398
But it definitely made me
never steal, like...

1145
01:14:34,691 --> 01:14:36,318
I was, like, yeah...

1146
01:14:36,695 --> 01:14:38,907
Stealing sucks
because it gets your ass beat

1147
01:14:39,116 --> 01:14:41,538
and, like, you burn bridges.

1148
01:14:41,872 --> 01:14:43,709
And burning bridges isn't cool.

1149
01:14:52,142 --> 01:14:55,064
Afterwards, after my ass stopped stinging,

1150
01:14:55,524 --> 01:14:58,697
he apologized for, like, beating me.

1151
01:14:59,114 --> 01:15:02,872
He totally just explained to me.
It was just how he was raised.

1152
01:15:06,170 --> 01:15:09,844
I know that he loved me
like, that's why he was so hard on me.

1153
01:15:15,063 --> 01:15:17,735
[Bing] So, what do you think that
you've gotten out of this documentary?

1154
01:15:19,656 --> 01:15:20,908
Um...

1155
01:15:24,248 --> 01:15:27,045
It's almost like... fucking free therapy.

1156
01:15:27,128 --> 01:15:29,132
-[chuckles]
-Yeah.

1157
01:15:30,051 --> 01:15:33,057
I'm making this film because I was...

1158
01:15:33,391 --> 01:15:35,228
physically disciplined by my step father

1159
01:15:35,436 --> 01:15:37,232
and it didn't make sense to me

1160
01:15:37,440 --> 01:15:40,823
and I saw myself in your own story.

1161
01:15:41,448 --> 01:15:42,367
Hmm.

1162
01:15:43,996 --> 01:15:45,081
Wow.

1163
01:15:48,672 --> 01:15:49,632
That's...

1164
01:15:50,926 --> 01:15:53,431
Wow, Bing, I had no idea, dude.

1165
01:15:53,974 --> 01:15:56,771
You know, that's really cool, though.

1166
01:16:01,196 --> 01:16:02,157
Wow.

1167
01:16:03,952 --> 01:16:06,248
[Bing] So, this might be a weird question,

1168
01:16:06,332 --> 01:16:09,338
but you spent a lot of time
in Zack's house growing up.

1169
01:16:09,589 --> 01:16:12,637
Do you think Zack is
capable of hitting a woman?

1170
01:16:15,308 --> 01:16:16,352
Hmm.

1171
01:16:17,980 --> 01:16:21,278
Maybe if he's drunk enough,
and, like, she's, like, hitting him,

1172
01:16:21,487 --> 01:16:23,909
like, fucking beating the shit out of him
or something, maybe.

1173
01:16:24,034 --> 01:16:26,455
But I don't think Zack
would ever just like...

1174
01:16:27,792 --> 01:16:32,175
like, just fucking strike a woman.
Like, I don't think he'd ever do that.

1175
01:16:44,745 --> 01:16:47,205
-My, my stepmom and my dad? Um...
-Yeah.

1176
01:16:48,542 --> 01:16:49,877
Yeah, I mean, all the time.

1177
01:16:50,253 --> 01:16:52,424
They fucking, most of the time
they argued about me.

1178
01:16:53,008 --> 01:16:54,554
[chuckles] Uh...

1179
01:16:55,430 --> 01:16:57,601
Like once or twice
the cops came to my house, but...

1180
01:16:58,102 --> 01:17:00,941
that was when I was young, young,
maybe, like, 10 or 12.

1181
01:17:01,275 --> 01:17:04,489
You know what I mean that?
Not... not as a teenager. It never got...

1182
01:17:05,826 --> 01:17:07,747
I don't think it ever got,
like, real physical.

1183
01:17:07,997 --> 01:17:10,042
I think just the fight got real gnarly.

1184
01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:14,217
I mean, shit, I've called the cops on
fuckin' Nina, on my baby mama before.

1185
01:17:14,802 --> 01:17:17,056
Like, sometimes
you just need the fight to stop.

1186
01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:23,194
Oh.

1187
01:17:23,194 --> 01:17:25,156
I don't know if you filmed the recording.

1188
01:17:25,364 --> 01:17:26,910
That was a pretty...

1189
01:17:27,787 --> 01:17:29,749
Like every other day occurrence.

1190
01:17:29,832 --> 01:17:33,005
She just fuckin' loses her damn shit.

1191
01:17:33,088 --> 01:17:34,884
And she won't shut the fuck up

1192
01:17:34,967 --> 01:17:38,140
and it just keeps escalating
and escalating and escalating and...

1193
01:17:38,767 --> 01:17:39,936
[exhales]

1194
01:17:40,646 --> 01:17:45,404
You know, my deal with women,
kinda the way I've dealt with it is,

1195
01:17:45,488 --> 01:17:48,452
you know, they get all fuckin' heated
and mad about shit

1196
01:17:48,537 --> 01:17:50,039
or they're complaining about this...

1197
01:17:50,206 --> 01:17:53,087
I'm like all right, I'm leaving, bye!

1198
01:17:53,170 --> 01:17:54,924
But if a fuckin' woman,

1199
01:17:55,592 --> 01:17:57,303
is acting a fucking fool,

1200
01:17:57,387 --> 01:17:58,765
they're been acting a fool,

1201
01:17:58,849 --> 01:18:02,105
you've asked them to stop, you've tried to
get away from the situation

1202
01:18:02,188 --> 01:18:05,779
and you've done everything that you can
do, to avoid the situation peacefully,

1203
01:18:05,863 --> 01:18:07,198
and she's coming to you,

1204
01:18:07,323 --> 01:18:08,702
wanting to argue and fight like

1205
01:18:08,785 --> 01:18:11,331
she's a fuckin' man, like,
she's ready to hurt you.

1206
01:18:11,331 --> 01:18:12,835
The...

1207
01:18:12,835 --> 01:18:13,795
Ah...

1208
01:18:14,922 --> 01:18:16,341
You can't beat up women.

1209
01:18:17,385 --> 01:18:20,517
But some bitches need to get slapped
sometimes, does that make sense?

1210
01:18:27,405 --> 01:18:29,994
[Bing] You stayed with him
because at times, he was sweet.

1211
01:18:30,286 --> 01:18:33,042
So what gave you the strength
to finally leave him?

1212
01:18:42,352 --> 01:18:44,272
[Bing's mother]
Seventeen years.

1213
01:18:47,691 --> 01:18:51,680
Um... but then he died anyway.

1214
01:19:00,981 --> 01:19:03,812
But that's how I have deal with it.

1215
01:19:03,812 --> 01:19:06,274
I don't like that, even now,
I don't know what to do.

1216
01:19:17,798 --> 01:19:20,887
[Nina] Zack and I went to court
for child support.

1217
01:19:21,179 --> 01:19:24,060
And you know,
it was like one of those moments

1218
01:19:24,144 --> 01:19:27,275
where I was just like, wow, like,
what am I doing with my life.

1219
01:19:29,362 --> 01:19:30,782
Wow, you're so cool!

1220
01:19:31,408 --> 01:19:34,080
[Zack] You know, on one hand of my brain,
I'm like,

1221
01:19:34,164 --> 01:19:37,003
you shouldn't be around your kid ever,
like, you-- you fucking suck.

1222
01:19:37,713 --> 01:19:40,510
And on the other hand, I'm like no,
that's my child.

1223
01:19:42,681 --> 01:19:44,059
[Keire] "Happy fathers' day.

1224
01:19:44,894 --> 01:19:48,150
I hope you all get to spend
some time with your fathers.

1225
01:19:48,610 --> 01:19:52,910
The last time I talked to my dad,
I argued and fought with him.

1226
01:19:53,578 --> 01:19:55,999
I moved out the next day."

1227
01:20:06,521 --> 01:20:10,444
The, uh, the last time I came here,
it was his funeral.

1228
01:20:14,662 --> 01:20:17,333
You don't wanna think about it.

1229
01:20:22,260 --> 01:20:26,686
Not necessarily, I get--
I feel, like, shaky and anxious.

1230
01:20:27,563 --> 01:20:29,900
I don't--I don't really
think about him that much.

1231
01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:43,093
I've never been able to deal with myself.

1232
01:20:43,636 --> 01:20:45,055
Because I'm so busy.

1233
01:20:45,431 --> 01:20:48,437
I'm not even convincing other people,
I'm convincing myself

1234
01:20:48,646 --> 01:20:51,819
that I'm a good person or...
I feel like a clown.

1235
01:20:52,654 --> 01:20:53,698
Almost, you know?

1236
01:20:54,783 --> 01:20:57,956
You paint up your face
and you put on your act for everybody.

1237
01:21:00,545 --> 01:21:03,843
And you let that act become you.

1238
01:21:11,776 --> 01:21:14,615
[Nina] I've always been something
to someone, you know.

1239
01:21:14,698 --> 01:21:17,955
I was someone's daughter, someone's
sister, someone's significant other

1240
01:21:18,038 --> 01:21:19,499
and then someone's mom.

1241
01:21:19,583 --> 01:21:23,090
[laughs] So it's like, I never got that
chance to just, like, figure myself out.

1242
01:21:25,845 --> 01:21:29,561
I really wish,
I could fucking just remember where it is.

1243
01:21:31,398 --> 01:21:34,571
It's like, it would make this day
a lot better for me...

1244
01:21:42,211 --> 01:21:43,881
[Zack] I don't want my son...

1245
01:21:45,050 --> 01:21:46,303
I just don't want him to grow up...

1246
01:21:47,889 --> 01:21:51,062
you know, like fucked up,
like me, you know?

1247
01:21:58,118 --> 01:22:01,207
I can't let myself think that the reason

1248
01:22:01,416 --> 01:22:05,424
I have to struggle so hard
that's 'cause I fucking suck.

1249
01:22:06,719 --> 01:22:09,349
I can't... You know, that's what
the drinking is about.

1250
01:22:09,641 --> 01:22:11,311
That's what it's all about.

1251
01:22:12,104 --> 01:22:14,610
I just wanna hide, I just wanna run away.

1252
01:22:25,089 --> 01:22:27,468
[Zack] It's such a crushing,
hopeless feeling.

1253
01:22:28,178 --> 01:22:31,351
It just sucks knowing
that you're your own enemy.

1254
01:22:31,602 --> 01:22:37,238
That every decision you've ever made has
culminated in how shitty your life is now.

1255
01:22:39,283 --> 01:22:40,954
And there's no escaping it.

1256
01:22:41,956 --> 01:22:43,375
[Bing's mother]
I don't know...

1257
01:22:43,543 --> 01:22:44,962
I tried to help you.

1258
01:22:54,648 --> 01:22:57,403
Well, the reason why
I wanted to make this film was...

1259
01:22:57,821 --> 01:23:01,369
Maybe I'm-- maybe you're right,
maybe I'm--

1260
01:23:01,494 --> 01:23:03,916
I need to just move on
and not dwell in the past

1261
01:23:16,984 --> 01:23:18,111
Hey, cut.

1262
01:23:28,591 --> 01:23:30,052
[Keire] Oh, my God.

1263
01:23:31,514 --> 01:23:33,058
Fucking, yes!

1264
01:23:34,811 --> 01:23:38,443
I fucking-- I finally fucking found it.

1265
01:23:39,613 --> 01:23:40,740
[laughs]

1266
01:23:41,366 --> 01:23:42,536
[sniffs]

1267
01:23:53,599 --> 01:23:55,310
[whispering] I'm so fucking happy.

1268
01:25:00,858 --> 01:25:01,819
Fuck!

1269
01:25:15,303 --> 01:25:16,389
Let's-- Let's go.

1270
01:25:28,914 --> 01:25:30,000
[exhales]

1271
01:26:11,792 --> 01:26:14,213
I get mad at skateboarding, like, a lot.

1272
01:26:14,338 --> 01:26:18,681
But at the end of the day I love it
so much, I can't stay mad at it. [laughs]

1273
01:26:21,418 --> 01:26:22,688
Yeah, so did my dad.

1274
01:26:22,688 --> 01:26:24,274
But I love him to death.

1275
01:26:33,125 --> 01:26:34,168
[no audio]

1276
01:27:45,520 --> 01:27:47,106
I'm about to do this shit.

1277
01:27:47,189 --> 01:27:49,402
[laughs] Oh, my God, dude,
I'm gonna fuckin' do it.

1278
01:27:52,032 --> 01:27:53,911
[exhales] Moving to Denver.

1279
01:27:53,911 --> 01:27:55,790
[sniffles and sighs]

1280
01:28:01,342 --> 01:28:02,721
[television blaring]

1281
01:28:10,820 --> 01:28:12,239
Can't you wait another month?

1282
01:28:12,323 --> 01:28:14,077
[Keire laughs] No.

1283
01:28:14,285 --> 01:28:16,582
-'Til it get warm?
-No, Mom.

1284
01:28:24,347 --> 01:28:25,850
See you later, baby.

1285
01:29:03,091 --> 01:29:05,179
["This Year"
by The Mountain Goats playing]

1286
01:29:23,549 --> 01:29:26,471
♪ I broke free on a Saturday morning ♪

1287
01:29:26,764 --> 01:29:29,853
♪ I put the pedal to the floor ♪

1288
01:29:30,479 --> 01:29:32,943
♪ Headed north on Mills Avenue ♪

1289
01:29:33,694 --> 01:29:36,784
♪ And listened to the engine roar ♪

1290
01:29:37,368 --> 01:29:40,040
-Look, I made this for you!
-Thanks!

1291
01:29:51,354 --> 01:29:52,983
♪ My broken house behind me ♪

1292
01:29:53,108 --> 01:29:54,485
♪ And good things ahead ♪

1293
01:29:54,569 --> 01:29:57,366
♪ A girl named Cathy
Wants a little of my time ♪

1294
01:29:58,118 --> 01:29:59,538
♪ Six cylinders underneath the hood ♪

1295
01:30:04,756 --> 01:30:07,929
♪ I am going to make it
Through this year ♪

1296
01:30:08,179 --> 01:30:09,850
♪ If it kills me ♪

1297
01:30:11,477 --> 01:30:14,651
♪ I am going to make it
Through this year ♪

1298
01:30:14,943 --> 01:30:16,530
♪ If it kills me ♪

1299
01:30:18,491 --> 01:30:21,665
♪ I drove home in the California dusk ♪

1300
01:30:22,709 --> 01:30:25,673
♪ I could feel the alcohol
Inside of me hum ♪

1301
01:30:25,757 --> 01:30:28,345
♪ Pictured the look
On my stepfather's face ♪

1302
01:30:33,438 --> 01:30:35,400
♪ As I pulled into the driveway ♪

1303
01:30:36,277 --> 01:30:39,618
♪ The motor screaming out
Stuck in second gear ♪

1304
01:30:39,701 --> 01:30:42,456
♪ The scene ends badly
As you might imagine ♪

1305
01:30:43,041 --> 01:30:45,922
♪ In a cavalcade of anger and fear ♪

1306
01:30:49,679 --> 01:30:53,353
♪ In Jerusalem next year ♪

1307
01:30:53,436 --> 01:30:56,401
♪ I am going to make it
Through this year ♪

1308
01:30:56,735 --> 01:30:58,739
♪ If it kills me ♪

1309
01:31:00,283 --> 01:31:03,206
♪ I am going to make it
Through this year ♪

1310
01:31:03,582 --> 01:31:05,419
♪ If it kills me ♪

1311
01:31:12,391 --> 01:31:14,688
[woman] Cheese, come on boy, come on!

1312
01:31:26,962 --> 01:31:28,591
Awesome!

1313
01:31:33,183 --> 01:31:34,686
Fuck!