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- 日記を読む
- read diary
- --
- O month, X day
- 今日わ入学式!
- today is the school entrance ceremony!
- これからどな高校生活を送れるのかと思うとわくわくしちやう!
- I'm excited to start see what high school will bring!
- たくさん友達できるといいな
- I hope to make lots of friends~
- あと・・・恋人もできるといいな・・・///
- also maybe... I'll find someone to love...///
- --
- :triangle: month, OX day
- 今日はいいことがあったの!
- something good happened today!
- クらスで人気のXXくんに告白されたの!
- the class' popular XX-kun confessed to me!
- 返事は待ついって言われたけど、どうしよう・・・。
- I was told to wait to reply, but I don't know...
- ---
- X month, triangle day
- ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・。
- 何か変・・・。
- something's wrong...
- 朝、教室に入ると女子たちから無視される。
- this morning, every girl in class ignored me.
- 私の思い込みかな・・・?
- could it be just my imagination...?
- でも、これっていじめ・・・だよね?
- are they... bullying me, or something?
- 何か悪いこと、したのかな・・・。
- what could I've done wrong...
- ---
- pizza month circle day
- 今日はトイレで殴られた。
- today I got beat up in the bathroom.
- 場所は服着てたら見えにくいところ。
- the places they hurt me are covered up by my clothes.
- バケツに入った水の中に頭を入れさせられた。
- my head was shoved into a bucket of water.
- もがけばもがくほど水が入ったきて、死にかけた。
- water came into my lungs the harder I struggled, and I came close to dying.
- もぉやだ。 誰か助けて。
- i don't want this. somebody, anybody, help me...
- ---
- star day triangle month
- 今日も相変わらずいじめられた。
- today I was bullied like always.
- でも、今日はかわいい猫がいたの!
- but, I met a cute little kitty!
- 「ナー」って言ってすり寄ってきて・・・本当にかわいかった。
- she meowed and snuggled up to me... they were super cute.
- 首輪がついていないから野良猫だと思う。
- she didn't have a collar so she's probably a stray.
- 持っていたパンを上げるとうれしそうに食べてくれた。
- I held up some bread and she ate it and looked really happy.
- それを見て私もさちにうれしくなった。
- that made me feel good too.
- ---
- XO month star day
- 最近いじめが激しくなった。
- recently the bullying has gotten worse.
- 机に「死ね」「ビッチ」「学校来るな」とか書かれる。
- stuff like, "die", "bitch", "don't come to school", was written on my desk.
- 先生も最初は相談に乗ってくれたけど最近は見て見ぬふりばかり。
- my homeroom teacher tried stopping them when he first noticed, but now he just pretends it's not happening.
- でも、猫ちゃんがいるから大丈夫。
- it's not so bad though, at least now that I have a kitty friend.
- 家の前の駐車場に行けば会えるから。
- I can meet her whenever I want in the parking lot in front of my house.
- ---
- pizzastar Month circle Day
- 猫ちゃんがあいつらに殺された。
- they killed her.
- 屋上に行けって言われて行ったら・・・猫、ちゃんの死体が・・・。
- I was led to the rooftop and... she... kitty's corpse was laying there.
- ひどい、ひどすぎる。
- it's the worst thing that's happened, it's so unbearble.
- 猫ちゃんが心の支えだったのに・・・。
- that kitty was the only thing keeping me going...
- あいつらが憎い。憎い憎い。
- I hate them. I hate them. I HATE THEM!
- あんなやつら生きる価値もない。
- it's not worth living like this anymore.
- ---
- 私は不登校になり引きこまった。
- I've been skipping school and got into trouble for it.
- あいつらが憎くてどうにかなってしまいそう。
- they hate what I've turned into, I'm just told it'll be dealt with.
- それと同時に死にたい。とてもしにたい。
- but all I want is to die. I just want to die.
- あいつらが憎いという気持ちを自傷行為で紛らわしている。
- the only thing that can take my mind of hating everything is hurting myself.
- 腕が傷だらけだ。
- my arm is covered in scars.
- ---
- triangle month star circle day
- 憎い、憎いと思っていても、自分には何もできないと、自分は無力だと分かった。
- hate and anger, I'm sick with hate, but I can't do anything by myself.
- 自分は無力だと思うと憎いという気持ちも、死にたいという気持ちもなくなった。
- when I think just about how little I can do, it's hard to hate anything, and I don't know if killing myself is right.
- 私の今の趣味は考えること。
- lately I've just been... thinking.
- 考えて自分の答えを出すのはとても楽しい。
- I've found it's pretty a pretty good thing, just figuring myself out.
- ・・・・・・はぁ、疲れた。
- ...gosh, I'm tired.
- ---
- star month x day
- うるさい、うるさい、うるさい!!
- SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!
- 考えたくないことまで考えてしまう!
- I keep focusing on stuff I don't want to think about!
- うるさい、静かにしてよ!私!
- brain! just shut up, be quiet!
- ---
- がつ にち
- month day
- 今日何月だっけ・・・。
- what day is it today...?
- どでもいっか。面倒だしね。
- whatever. it's pointless to check anyway.
- 私の人生何か意味あったのかな・・・?
- was there ever any meaning in my life...?
- それすらもどうでもいいや。
- though it never mattered.
- 考えるの疲れた。
- I'm tired of going in circles.
- ---
- がつ にち
- month day
- 死のう。
- today I die.
- ---
- ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・。
- 目が覚めたら変わった匂いのする部屋にいた。
- I woke up in a strange smelling room.
- どこかで嗅いだことのあるにおいだ。
- I knew the smell but couldn't place it.
- 女の人と男の人が涙を流しなら何かを喚いていた。
- crying women and men were around me for some reason.
- 白い人とピンクの人がやってきて何か言ってる。
- men in pink and white were saying things I couldn't understand.
- だけど私は天井を見たままずっと動かない。
- I can't move so I just stare at the ceiling.
- 誰がなにを言ってるのか、何をしているのかを考えるのが疲れる。
- I'm too hard to think about whoever is talking and whoever is doing.
- 疲れることさえもわからない。
- though I don't really feel tired.
- 白い人に何が言われてなく女の人。
- the white man is still talking to the crying woman.
- 泣くのを堪えて女の人に寄り添う男の人。
- a man endured as a woman cried on his shoulder.
- 二人の様子を見て、どこかがチクっとなった。
- I looked on these two and felt a dull tingle.
- それを最後に私は考えるすべてやめた。
- I felt that and finished thinking about anything and everything.
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