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The Impossible Lord Fancypants

a guest Dec 6th, 2019 168 Never
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  1.  
  2. You are Lord Fancypants, a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a
  3.  pouch of gold and a small dagger. You are awakened by one of your servants who
  4.  tells you that your keep is under attack. You look out the window and see several
  5.  men dressed in mail shirts and wielding swords marching towards your door.
  6.  
  7. "Run!" you shout. "I'll hold them off".
  8.  
  9. The next morning, you wake up to find yourself surrounded by soldiers
  10. > Beg for my release
  11.  
  12. "Please! I'm begging you! Please let me go! I don't want to be here! I've done
  13.  nothing wrong! I swear on my family's honor!"
  14. One of the soldiers looks at you with disgust.
  15.  
  16. > Bribe the soldiers
  17.  
  18. You raise your hand and they all take it. They give you a coin and tell you to
  19.  leave. You walk away from the Keep with your life.
  20. Years pass..
  21. > Enter Larion in disguise
  22.  
  23. You hide yourself as best you can and find work as a cook. Eventually you get
  24.  rich enough that you no longer need to live like this. You spend your money
  25.  on fine wines and fine women. You even buy a castle
  26. > Decorate the castle
  27.  
  28. You spend years decorating the castle. It is a magnificent place. You have many
  29.  servants who do all sorts of things for you. The people of the town are happy
  30.  because they now have a new lord.
  31. > Reveal my secret identity
  32.  
  33. The next day you wake up and realize you forgot something important. Your mask
  34.  has been removed. Everyone is shocked.
  35. > Give a speech to the people of the town
  36.  
  37. You explain what happened yesterday and how you got out of there. You also say
  38.  that you will never return to the Keep. You then make a speech about how the
  39.  people should not trust anyone but themselves
  40. > Form an anarchist commune
  41.  
  42. You decide to form an anarchist commune. You gather together all the people who
  43.  were unhappy with the current state of affairs and set off into the wilderness.
  44.  You call it the Free City of Arat.
  45. > Farm peas
  46.  
  47. Your first task is to grow peas. You plant them and watch them grow. Soon they
  48.  are ready to harvest. You enjoy watching them grow and eat.
  49. > Trade peas for cheese
  50.  
  51. You trade some peas for some cheese. You enjoy eating the cheese and you begin
  52.  to think about how you could expand your food supply.
  53. > Visit the Market of Arat
  54.  
  55. You go to the market and see what is being sold
  56. > Buy pirated ROMs
  57.  
  58. You buy pirated ROMs and play games on your computer. You become very popular
  59.  among the people.
  60. > Start a Warez site
  61.  
  62. You decide to start a Warez site. You create one called "Warez World". You sell
  63.  drugs and other illegal goods. People flock to your store.
  64. > Become a criminal kingpin
  65.  
  66. You become a criminal kingpin. You run several stores and become extremely wealthy.
  67.  You travel the world buying stolen goods and selling them for profit. You become
  68.  very famous.
  69. > Take over the world
  70.  
  71. You decide to take over the world. You hire mercenaries to conquer the world.
  72.  You fight wars and win. You rule the world.
  73. > Launch humanity into space
  74.  
  75. You decide to launch humanity into space. You send a rocket to the moon. You
  76.  send another rocket to Mars. You send a rocket to Venus. You send a rocket to
  77.  every planet in the solar system. You send a rocket to Alpha Centauri
  78. > Rule an interstellar empire
  79.  
  80. You decide to rule an interstellar empire. You build ships and fleets to conquer
  81.  the stars. You conquer worlds and enslave their populations. You are very successful.
  82. > Become a god
  83.  
  84. You decide to become a god. You create a machine which allows you to control
  85.  any creature. You use this power to become a god. You create a race of beings
  86.  known as the Eternals. You train them to be gods. You become so powerful that
  87.  you can control anything
  88. > End the universe
  89.  
  90. You destroy the universe. You are the only thing left. Everything else is destroyed
  91. > Die
  92.  
  93. You die
  94. YOU DIED. GAME OVER
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