Ok so lets see if this works just typing on word and then pu

Ok so lets see if this works just typing on word and then putting it on pastebin, getting the link from discord at home and then posting on wordpress. Better sanitize my hands for all this typing

Well this ght thing it all started almost like the office space experiment. Imagine what ud do with a billion bux. And what I decided upon is something like a glorified women’s college professor. So it started with me looking at Lisa Simpson’s 7 Sisters womyn’s colleges. Only a few r still female. Vassar of Neil Strauss’ Game is about even now. The college I went to was 2/3 female.
So I was looking at being a philosophy professor at a WC as the ideal job. But within that same day I started looking more into teaching at the hs level.

Cant believe it took me until 2020 to figure out the obvious. It seems so clear now. Hm seat just opened up on the other side, maybe I should move. 47 mins left on the library pc.  Eh wtf im used 2 it now.

Yeah then id need 2 pastebins.

Melvolcel the spergzoid.

U knew ur prime talent, ur comparative advantage was history. But wtf can u do with dat other than teach? It was babysitting testosterone poisoned teen boys that always terrified me. But r there schools w/o boys? Yes. In ur area? Yes. I don’t say it’s the easiest. But id say easier than becoming a philosophy professor. Theres a decent number in my area. I see the help wanted ads. Its by no means impossible.

Its not the most stable thing either. I see a lot of rcc and private schools have closed down. Well all comes at a price. But tis the 1st job ive felt excitement for since rotc. Haven’t felt genuine enthusiasm for a job since 2nd Lt.

West point. Usma. My 7th grade dreams.

Ght there sur answer. Maybe ur right. Well I don’t got a time machine. It took me to 2020 to even think of it. Idk I guess I didn’t realize men could teach at ghs. Although a simple google. Or even just remembering Tanner Hall 2012. It was a major plot point. U watched it, but it didn’t spark the idea that its ur dream job.

No, when u were converting to rcc 2b a monk, and ur dad suggested it opened the door to teaching at rcc hs. Teaching rcc boys was a nightmare 2u.

Yeah u got this love-hate thing with the rcc. Mostly all hate. Until the volcel monks had an appeal. Just keep ur eyes on the volcel. Is there any virtue higher than manly virginity?

Im so awkward, cringe, low eq, aspie, schizoid, socially retarded. All these fantasies of friends. Its crazy man. Climbing a mountain just 2b a lost. Mount Loser. That’s all it is man. 39 mins. Maybe I’ll do some more reading.

Military history is soooo boring 2 me now. Moving armies on the map. It was the center of my teen world. Maybe it reveals how dreadfully boring all my aspie fixations are.

Yeah normies were right, im wrong. Just follow what everyone else around u had done. Ud think u were raised by ultra-strict Christian parents. But no that’s not the case. My superego was taught by zoid delusions. Calvinist puritans. The Cromwell revolution. Shoulda just let the id run free, and crash its desires into irl resistance, and out of that smashing, a human character would be formed. Just follow the crowd. Its democracy. They know better than wat ull invent in ur zoid brain.

Seek 2b as normal as u can, which given ur brain wiring, will still be highly abnormal. Yeah that’s my main motto 4 life now. Accept dw as it is. Stoic. Ur wat ur. Dw is wat dw is. Im what im.

Be friends with action babes, cops, lawyers, Das, army, athletes etc. well sure if I can, but its not my usual crew.  Not that I have any crew. But if I did I assume it be more libarts intellectual types.

Oh I made such a mess out of life. But it was never going right. I started failing in pre-K and it’s a straight line to 2020.

My only mistake was being too strong, not having a total meltdown in 1g and getting the prof psych attention I need. Too quiet to make trouble for adults. Severe autism under the table.

The origins of ww1. God plz don’t sit  next 2 me. Oh im so naturally anti-social is it any wonder I ended up here? Its what my gut says. Any extroversion has 2b forced by will. Against our will. Women. What strange creatures. What a mystery to me. To think how ordinary they were in the K-6 days. Not in a good way. Just bullying me along with the boys. The whole world was my enemy. Misanthropy. Across race sex creed. A rainbow dancing and kicking me in the face. A beautiful rainbow childhood utopia of world peace united by kicking me. It makes all the other divisions seem hollow. When from age 4, the starkest one has been between me and all of humanity. Humans of all types. All all unities between me and any segment of humanity r lies.

All uv looked for in philosophy, is to tell u that the world in front of u of tables n chairs isn’t real, and the schizoid imagination fantasy land in ur brain, is the true reality. No matter how much idealism u read, the tables still seem more real.

Ive had so little contact with IRL. Which really means socializing, the interaction with other humans. Its not about tables. I don’t have a single positive irl experience, which is to say no social experience. Irl has never given me joy. I mean even when it almost did, it was just schizoid fantasy invading irl.

Yeah im pretty incel. I have the whole incel mindset. Like when I was thinking of volunteering at a senior center. To talk to old folks, ww2 vets. I was thinking of their granddaughters my age, choosing jerks over me. Let chad take care of ur gramps, stacy. Its hard 2b an incel with altruism. To dw that has given u 0. Well its all about pov. U don’t have 2 think of it as altruism. Ur so lonely and desperate for someone 2 talk 2. Any volunteering like that, is really selfish egoism.
U should have been a scholastic theologian logic chopping the trinity.

Hairsplitting logic-chopping of volcel monks

A universe ruled by sexual selection. Wrong existenz 4u.

I used 2b into alchemy, the occult, grimoires. Learned it by way of billy n mandy. Well maybe I shoulda stuck with it. Seek wat u want directly, and not adulting it with philosophy n history.

U like superheroes, seek superheroes, don’t pretend D-day is attack on Coast City.

U like magick seek grimoires, don’t pretend hegel is a grimoire.

Oh Schopy. U were right. I wasted my life on hegel. Idk stem topics r 2 smart 4 me. Maybe self-help books would be a better spending of time. Anything that leads to praxis and not just naval-gazing.

Except the naval gazing of theology. If ur looking 4 god, find god.