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Celestia/Luna Greentexts: Comic Inaccuracies

Feb 1st, 2015
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  1. >Your earthly belongings are all packed in boxes and ready to be brought out.
  2. "This is quite the pile to start decorating with, eh princess?"
  3. >"Not that the size matters. I'm sure it will be an enjoyable experience nonetheless."
  4. >Celestia grabs a box with her magic, and you with your hands.
  5. >Using a pair of scissors, you cut the packaging tape sealing the box and peek inside at the contents.
  6. >In the box lies some of your old PC and gaming equipment, which are paperweights in Equestria.
  7. >Truly a shame they haven't gotten the whole electricity thing completely down yet.
  8. >You put the box aside, and grab for another one.
  9. >"Anonymous?"
  10. "Yeah?"
  11. >"What is this?"
  12. >You turn around to find Celestia holding one of your boxes.
  13. "A box?"
  14. >"No, inside the box."
  15. >You peer inside to see what has her angry, and find something you had almost forgot you had.
  16. >The IDW comics.
  17. >Yes, you were one of the fags who went out and bought the comics instead of pirating them.
  18. >Your fellow anons gave you shit for it.
  19. >You had all the issues up to 20.
  20. >Reflections.
  21. >And it was right at the top of the pile, too.
  22. >"What are these and why am I and my friends on them?"
  23. >Bullshit mode activated.
  24. "Well, y'see princess, back in my world, we had found signs of Equestrian civilization, and these comics are based on our findings."
  25. >She digests your words, then smiles.
  26. >"Interesting. Do you mind if I give them a read? I'd be interested in seeing what humans found of us."
  27. "Uh, yeah, go ahead."
  28. >She leaves the room with a smile, taking the whole box with her.
  29. >Oh, good, now you get to unpack by yourself.
  30. >Thanks, princess.
  31. >You grunt, and go back to your boxes, frustrated.
  32.  
  33. >You finished your unpacking and heaved a mighty sigh, glad to finally be done.
  34. >If Celestia hadn't fucking ditched you, you would have finished sooner.
  35. >Whatever, now that the unpacking's done, you can sort through things to keep, and things to toss, something Celestia has no input in.
  36. >The sound of the door opening behind you brings you out of your thoughts.
  37. >Turning around, you find two things.
  38. >Princess Celestia.
  39. >Princess Luna.
  40. >They looked...irate.
  41. >"Anonymous...what exactly did humans find about us?"
  42. "Scrolls, paintings, y'know that stuff."
  43. >"And they based stories on us through them? Did they even do actual RESEARCH?"
  44. >Oh boy.
  45. >"Or did they find a few pieces of history and call it fact without looking into it?"
  46. >You put on your best poker face and address her.
  47. "Okay, please, get to the point and tell me what's wrong."
  48. >Luna chimed in.
  49. >"None of these events transpired! Wherever they got these ideas from, it certainly wasn't our history!"
  50. >"And the way everypony is portrayed is just...it's insulting!"
  51. >"Granted, the first few were fine, but as it progressed, it got worse!"
  52. "Do tell, princesses."
  53. >Wow, to think it would upset them this much.
  54. >"This 'Reflections' story," Celestia pointed out, raising the comics with her magic, "it's absolutely absurd! I would NEVER put my feelings before my kingdom! And for SOMBRA!?"
  55. >"Not to mention," Luna once again started, "these novels portray me as such a hooligan! A fool! Among the other ponies who act nothing like their actual selves, I'm the worst!"
  56. >"I'm not sure how humans got to these conclusions about us, Anonymous, but in the case you ever return to your world, inform them of their inaccuracies, please."
  57. "Well how am I going to do that if I don't know Equestrian history to begin with?"
  58. >A scroll appears out of nowhere, floating in Celestia's magic.
  59. >It opens up in front of you, and you read it closely.
  60. >They signed you up for fucking history classes at a local university!
  61. "Are you fucking serious!?"
  62. >"It's clear you need some lessons in Equestrian history, Anonymous, and there's no getting out of this. It's for your own good."
  63. "But-"
  64. >"No buts, Anonymous," Luna interrupts. "Your classes begin next week. Your texts are ready for you in the library."
  65. >The princesses leave in a huff, closing the door behind them.
  66. >Great, just great.
  67. >You were going back to school as an adult thanks to IDW.
  68. >No wonder you stopped buying the comics.
  69. >Reading them would make anyone dumb.
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