Bigwood

Darcius in "Rustle My Jimmies"

Apr 13th, 2013
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  1. [10:04:16] <Darcius> okay here's a fun story
  2. [10:04:27] <Darcius> like 2 months ago they started holding fighting game meets at the university
  3. [10:04:29] <Darcius> not me and my friends
  4. [10:04:31] <Darcius> not the scene
  5. [10:04:41] <Darcius> instead just random ultrabad pimply anime weeaboo kids
  6. [10:04:43] <Darcius> fedoras
  7. [10:04:45] <Darcius> trenchcoats
  8. [10:04:48] <Darcius> the whole shebang, yea?
  9. [10:04:51] <Giantree> oh my god
  10. [10:04:54] <Giantree> ok continue
  11. [10:04:57] <Darcius> so we said
  12. [10:05:06] <Darcius> yo we'll descend on them like saiyan princes
  13. [10:05:12] <Darcius> and blow all their namekkian shit up
  14. [10:05:27] <Darcius> they were playing marvel
  15. [10:05:40] <Darcius> I showed up at the meet so far nobody had seen me from there except the organizer
  16. [10:05:58] <Darcius> because he held a meet for bb, gg, and uh
  17. [10:06:03] <Darcius> what was the third game let me think
  18. [10:06:05] <Darcius> 3s
  19. [10:06:14] <Giantree> I was about to say "inb4 arcana" as a joke
  20. [10:06:16] <Giantree> but I decided against it
  21. [10:06:18] <Darcius> and I won 3s and gg and got 2nd in bb because
  22. [10:06:24] <Darcius> only me and my friends from the scene
  23. [10:06:25] <Darcius> showed up
  24. [10:06:26] <Darcius> anyway
  25. [10:06:33] <Darcius> this was round 2 and now every neckbeard and fedora kid
  26. [10:06:34] <Darcius> was there
  27. [10:06:47] <Darcius> and this pimply kid who looked diseased as fuck was playing marvel with some fedora kid
  28. [10:06:48] <Darcius> and I was like
  29. [10:06:53] <Darcius> hey you guys play a lot of matches?
  30. [10:06:55] <Darcius> and they said
  31. [10:07:04] <Darcius> e-uhe yeah we uh
  32. [10:07:07] <Darcius> we did
  33. [10:07:10] <Darcius> like 8 or 9"
  34. [10:07:15] <Darcius> so I said
  35. [10:07:17] <Darcius> ok I got next
  36. [10:07:26] <Darcius> fedora loses
  37. [10:07:29] <Darcius> I sit down, plug my shit in
  38. [10:07:31] <Darcius> button check
  39. [10:07:33] <Darcius> get in character select
  40. [10:07:43] <Darcius> pick my team, nova wesker skrull
  41. [10:07:53] <Darcius> match starts I land a j.c instantly
  42. [10:07:55] <Darcius> I do my 100%
  43. [10:07:58] <Darcius> his character dies
  44. [10:08:00] <Darcius> I have 2 meters
  45. [10:08:04] <Darcius> I hear to my right
  46. [10:08:07] <Giantree> is he crying?
  47. [10:08:13] <Darcius> "i-i'm not good so
  48. [10:08:19] <Darcius> you can't s-ssay you're good if you beat me"
  49. [10:08:25] <Giantree> oh so you're on the left
  50. [10:08:32] <Darcius> yeah I was p1
  51. [10:08:37] <Giantree> see I was interpreting you were on p2 side
  52. [10:08:40] <Giantree> thank you for clarifying
  53. [10:08:41] <Giantree> go on
  54. [10:08:49] <Darcius> so this
  55. [10:08:51] <Darcius> limp wristed
  56. [10:08:54] <Darcius> pimply faced kid
  57. [10:08:58] <Darcius> was talking some really dumb shit
  58. [10:09:07] <Giantree> and then you blew him up and then what
  59. [10:09:15] <Darcius> I blew him up and played all comers for like 20 minutes until my homies got there
  60. [10:09:23] <Darcius> I had like a 38 win streak or something
  61. [10:09:29] <Darcius> I don't think anybody killed nova
  62. [10:09:35] <Darcius> I get off the setup
  63. [10:09:39] <Darcius> my friends are steaking too
  64. [10:09:40] <Darcius> free
  65. [10:09:43] <Darcius> like training mode
  66. [10:09:51] <Darcius> combo, setup, confirm, combo, setup
  67. [10:10:29] <Darcius> so
  68. [10:10:32] <Giantree> so you don't play with them
  69. [10:10:33] <Darcius> I win marvel
  70. [10:10:35] <Darcius> then
  71. [10:10:35] <Giantree> because they're bad?
  72. [10:10:38] <Darcius> sf4 happens
  73. [10:10:40] <Giantree> oh no nevermind keep going
  74. [10:10:43] <Darcius> I don't play sf4
  75. [10:10:44] <Darcius> you know this
  76. [10:10:46] <Darcius> I think its ass
  77. [10:10:51] <Darcius> but I thought these guys were ass too
  78. [10:11:00] <Darcius> so I was in for the kill
  79. [10:11:11] <Darcius> round 1
  80. [10:11:18] <Darcius> I get some idiot i don't recognize
  81. [10:11:22] <Darcius> I fumble around character select
  82. [10:11:23] <Darcius> for like 20 seconds
  83. [10:11:26] <Darcius> until I find guile
  84. [10:11:33] <Darcius> I pick him
  85. [10:11:37] <Darcius> I only knew one combo my friend told me about
  86. [10:11:46] <Darcius> guile's highest damage meterless punish
  87. [10:11:55] <Darcius> you hit a counterhit close HK, the upside down kick
  88. [10:11:59] <Darcius> and if that ch or hits crouching
  89. [10:12:07] <Darcius> you can do c.mk->6mp
  90. [10:12:11] <Darcius> and do an EX boom after
  91. [10:12:13] <Darcius> sometimes
  92. [10:12:19] <Darcius> so I just kept jumping in
  93. [10:12:21] <Darcius> and doing that combo
  94. [10:12:25] <Darcius> and i beat the first guy
  95. [10:12:29] <Darcius> second matchup against the organizer
  96. [10:12:33] <Darcius> I beat him doing the same shit
  97. [10:12:36] <Darcius> third matchup
  98. [10:12:41] <Darcius> its pimply marvel kid
  99. [10:12:43] <Darcius> I say
  100. [10:12:48] <Darcius> so is this your main game?
  101. [10:12:51] <Darcius> are you good at this?
  102. [10:12:54] <Giantree> oh shit
  103. [10:12:55] <Darcius> he's like
  104. [10:13:00] <Darcius> yeah i play street figther
  105. [10:13:05] <Darcius> he picks rose
  106. [10:13:06] <Giantree> so he thinks he's hot shit huh
  107. [10:13:24] <Darcius> here's a tip for you, you can use this to beat any really bad fighting game player
  108. [10:13:31] <Giantree> yeah I already see the outcome of this
  109. [10:13:33] <Darcius> I just held forward on the stick and watched rose
  110. [10:13:40] <Darcius> and every time I saw a fireball animation start
  111. [10:13:46] <Darcius> I went from [6] to [9]
  112. [10:13:50] <Darcius> and jumped in
  113. [10:14:00] <Darcius> even if it was a normal and I was mistaken its a free combo
  114. [10:14:04] <Darcius> so I kept doing my combo
  115. [10:14:06] <Darcius> over and over
  116. [10:14:09] <Darcius> "STOP THROWING FIREBALLS"
  117. [10:14:10] <Giantree> yeah when locals did play sf4
  118. [10:14:12] <Darcius> I keep telling him
  119. [10:14:14] <Giantree> which was pretty much all they did
  120. [10:14:14] <Darcius> "STOP THAT"
  121. [10:14:16] <Giantree> I played rose
  122. [10:14:17] <Darcius> "WHY ARE YOU DOING IT"
  123. [10:14:21] <Giantree> and I wasn't even dumb enough to do that
  124. [10:14:22] <Giantree> what the fuck man
  125. [10:14:28] <Darcius> "QUIT IT"
  126. [10:14:35] <Darcius> "I CAN JUST REACT, USE YOUR NORMALS"
  127. [10:14:40] <Darcius> I 2-0 him
  128. [10:14:47] <Giantree> did he get mad?
  129. [10:15:05] <Darcius> he stuttered something under his breath and ended up getting his jacket and leaving like 10 minutes later
  130. [10:15:08] <Darcius> I think he was mad though
  131. [10:15:33] <Darcius> so next I played a friend of mine
  132. [10:15:35] <Darcius> who actually plays sf4
  133. [10:15:37] <Darcius> and I got bodied
  134. [10:15:48] <Giantree> ooh
  135. [10:15:50] <Darcius> I got sent to losers where I played the fedora kid who lost to pimply in sf4
  136. [10:15:52] <Giantree> let me guess what happened here
  137. [10:15:55] <Darcius> in marvel***
  138. [10:15:56] <Giantree> okay no nevermind
  139. [10:16:04] <Darcius> the fedora kid looked like he was 16
  140. [10:16:06] <Giantree> I was going to say that the people from this 'scene' started cheering
  141. [10:16:08] <Darcius> and kept yelling 4chan memes
  142. [10:16:11] <Darcius> what
  143. [10:16:12] <Darcius> WHAT
  144. [10:16:14] <Giantree> because they were mad at you beating them
  145. [10:16:15] <Darcius> who
  146. [10:16:17] <Darcius> no
  147. [10:16:19] <Darcius> they were
  148. [10:16:21] <Darcius> 110% too beta
  149. [10:16:23] <Giantree> but this outcome is fine too
  150. [10:16:25] <Darcius> to even think of that
  151. [10:16:38] <Darcius> anyway this fedora kid looked like he was 16 yelling memes
  152. [10:16:43] <Darcius> mimicing character voices all day
  153. [10:16:44] <Darcius> badly
  154. [10:16:45] <Darcius> loudly
  155. [10:16:47] <Darcius> really irritating
  156. [10:16:48] <Darcius> I lost to himn
  157. [10:16:56] <Darcius> tru story
  158. [10:17:16] <Darcius> feels bad I couldn't get him huh?
  159. [10:17:21] <Giantree> now what kind of memes were these
  160. [10:17:22] <Giantree> anyway
  161. [10:17:24] <Giantree> give me examples
  162. [10:17:30] <Giantree> were they like "epic fail" bad?
  163. [10:17:35] <Darcius> I think he used the why can't I hold meme
  164. [10:17:37] <Giantree> or was he like "that rustles my jimmies?"
  165. [10:17:39] <Darcius> and some others
  166. [10:17:44] <Darcius> yeah the jimmies too
  167. [10:17:54] <Giantree> yeah jimmies is still fresh enough to be fine
  168. [10:17:58] <Giantree> in my opinion
  169. [10:18:00] <Giantree> I think it's okay
  170. [10:18:09] <Darcius> 4 months ago I was making next level jokes about that meme
  171. [10:18:11] <Giantree> when somebody starts saying "epic fail" thinking it makes them cool
  172. [10:18:13] <Giantree> they're wrong
  173. [10:18:38] <Darcius> I was walking down the street at calgary discussing what groceries we might find the guy sharing a hotel room with us might bring bac
  174. [10:18:42] <Darcius> and I said, eloquently,
  175. [10:18:58] <Darcius> "a box of cereal, adorned garishly upon it's front with the face of a certain primate,
  176. [10:19:03] <Darcius> whose name, jimmy,
  177. [10:19:06] <Darcius> I am hesitant to speak"
  178. [10:19:15] <Giantree> good phrasing
  179. [10:19:32] <Giantree> I like to imagine
  180. [10:19:39] <Giantree> whoever you were talking to
  181. [10:19:44] <Giantree> was unable to keep a straight face by 'jimmy'
  182. [10:19:50] <Darcius> no he knew by
  183. [10:19:50] <Giantree> unless you talk to really straight-faced people
  184. [10:19:53] <Darcius> "a certain primate"
  185. [10:20:24] <Giantree> I wonder if most people wouldn't already get it by "cereal"
  186. [10:20:52] <Giantree> so what is the conclusion to this story anyway
  187. [10:20:55] <Giantree> what did you learn?
  188. [10:20:58] <Giantree> what happened?
  189. [10:21:03] <Darcius> which story
  190. [10:21:05] <Darcius> aren't there two here
  191. [10:21:09] <Giantree> the good one
  192. [10:21:13] <Darcius> oh
  193. [10:21:22] <Darcius> I ended up finding out he didn't buy anything
  194. [10:21:30] <Darcius> so we went to a chinese bakery and bought a coffee cake
  195. [10:21:35] <Darcius> damn the chinese know coffee cake
  196. [10:21:41] <Giantree> good conclusion, I like it
  197. [10:21:42] <Darcius> it was more coffee than cake I must admit
  198. [10:21:46] <Giantree> now the other one
  199. [10:21:55] <Darcius> that was the conclusion dude I just lost
  200. [10:22:02] <Darcius> once you lose all thats left is to walk out of there
  201.  
  202. [10:23:42] <Darcius> you know me giantree when I walk in to do combat I'm there to blazeit420 with my golden aura and explode with the power of canis majoris
  203. [10:23:51] <Darcius> I aint gonna tolerate fedora trenchcoat kids
  204. [10:23:55] <Darcius> in my fightin
  205. [10:24:13] <Darcius> that shits cancerous
  206. [10:24:14] <Darcius> dawg
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