The Silence of the Boards

Straight-Fire Jun 12th, 2019 137 Never
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  1. Floor Bored
  3. Ugh...
  4. It's way too late for this minotaurshit.
  5. I thought that I had taken inventory properly. I should have had enough hay tendies and noodles to last me a week. However, I ran out of food early this morning. Shit, I didn't even have any Dashies, you know, those rainbow-colored cornflakes. I don't really care for the taste, BUT they came with a specially licensed “Superfilly” figure from the new show. She was best filly, obviously. I wanted them all, and my shelf sure as hell needed some more /toy/ material. Don't mock me, the glorious NEET life comes with some drawbacks after all, I can't really afford “Marevil Legends” figures. I gotta go to the gas station. That will be a good ten minute walk. At least I can listen to Laurein Hill's new album.
  6. Ok, after way more physical exercise than I should be undergoing, I'm finally at the gas station.
  7. There's one of those humans outside, drinking a bottle of soda. Ew, fucking disgusting. Ever since they started showing up, stuff has been getting worse. Fucking immigrants.
  8. All those two-legged tramps have been stealing our QT pie studs. However, their stallions do look kind of cute.
  9. Hey, maybe it's my autism speaking, but is he looking at me?
  10. Oh Luna, what I wouldn't show him what pony girls are made of.
  11. I mean, I totally have lotsa experience with stallions, and totally make them all cum inside me within seconds.
  12. But, should I go talk to him, and colonise that dick? Should I bend him over, and grope his ass? Should I force his cock into my mouth?
  13. Naw.
  14. This one is probably some preppy chad douche, ew. I'm sure he'll go home to some dumb stacy bitch who will treat him poorly, and he'll think: “Oh my Celestia, why didn't I ever hook up with a nice pony filly, who would treat me stallion-like, and with dignity?”
  15. Fucking stallions. I wish I were a dyke.
  17. Anon
  19. This was it, Anon. Today, you were gonna do it.
  20. Back on Earth, you were just some random dweeb, hell, not very far from a NEET. You hated college, and hated studying a degree that you knew you hated, preparing to do a job that you hated. However, ever since those nerds from Israel built that inter-dimensional portal, you were one of the first to volunteer. After very little paperwork, you even got a high-end position at a local company, and frequently handled HR cases related to other humans. If that ain't a great case of zero to hero. But, you still couldn't get yourself a girlfriend, or, you guess a marefriend. That's when you decided: “If I can't get a marefriend, I'll take myself one.”
  21. You hatched a rather hasty plan. You secured all of your windows and doors, and purchased extra strength horse tranquilizer, which was just over-the-counter painkillers over here. The first mare you picked didn't even flinch after you spiked her drink. She just claimed that she couldn't feel her lower jaw. You ended up going back to Earth for a spill, and purchased some, wait for it, whale tranquilizer darts from a shady Chinese man. You tested it on a random stallion, and he passed out for four hours.
  22. You may or may not have had your way with him.
  23. Your plan was ready. You decided to drive over to a far-away gas station, and “pick up” the first mare you could find that was at least passable. You drove about forty minutes, parked your car, and walked inside. You bought a bottle of  “Diet Berry Punch”, and waited outside.
  24. Holy hell, she was practically the spitting image of that skinny anime girl who played those homo-erotic video games. Her name eludes me.
  25. Ech, she's good enough, plus, she has a great ass.
  26. You noticed that she was looking at you while walking towards the door, and you could notice a mixture of disgust, and something you couldn't really pinpoint, on her face.
  27. You really didn't care as you jammed the dart into her flank.
  29. Floor Bored
  31. What.
  32. That fucking human just slapped my flank so hard that it stung!
  33. Wait a minute, he poked me with something!
  34. Whatever it was, it was sure making me feel woozy.
  35. I can't really feel my legs, and they collapse, as he picks me up.
  36. I want to say something, but my tongue won't really move.
  37. Well, if I survive this, I'll have a great story to tell on 4trot.
  38. Maybe he's gonna take me to his condo and have his way with me, and stretch out my tight pony pussy with his big fat human cock.
  39. He places me into the passenger seat of his rather nice car, and straps me in.
  40. I drool onto his seat due to me being obviously drugged.
  41. “Oh, fuck me.” He mutters, looking at the tiny puddle.
  42. I want to tell him that I'll happily do that.
  43. He shrugs, and gets into the car, speeding off.
  44. “I finally did it. I kidnapped a fine piece of ass, and she's mine. All mine.” He mutters under his breath.
  45. Did he just compliment me?
  46. He's gotta be joking, or maybe he's retarded. No stallions like me.
  47. It practically takes forever for him to take me to his rape dungeon, or what I really hope it is.
  48. He backs up into a suburban driveway, and parks his car in his garage.
  49. He picks me up, and carries me inside.
  50. Hm, nice place.
  52. Anon
  54. OK, you did it now. There's no going back now.
  55. She kind of stunk like onions and trout, but you could fix that with a shower the next day. She seemed rather peaceful, and while dumpy looking, was clearly very beautiful.
  56. You took her upstairs, and made sure to lock the windows on your way up. Before going to sleep, you took a turn for the guest room, which was very nicely furnished other than the fact that it contained no windows other than a very small one right below the ceiling, much like one in a bathroom. It had a queen-sized bed, a bookshelf full of books, a television with cable, and a sofa which was bolted to the wall. She was going to love it here, or else. It was even equipped with it's own connected bathroom, fully stocked with toilet, mirror, bath and sink.
  57. You place her on the bed, tuck her in, and kiss her on the cheek.
  58. “Don't worry dear.” You whisper into her ear. “I promise that I won't hurt you.”
  59. You smile, turn the light off, leave, and lock the door.
  60. Gosh, she was beautiful. You can't wait to make her breakfast.
  61. You hope that the drug will wear off by the morning.
  63. Floor Bored
  65. He tucked me in, how cute.
  66. Now he's gonna throatfuck me, I bet. Come on, you big, bipedal brute. Make me your cumslut!
  67. What do you mean, you won't hurt me? You better hurt me, spank me you bucking pansy!
  68. No, don't leave! Goddammit. Maybe he is gonna sacrifice me to some weird god. I hope that he at least rails me good and proper beforehand.
  69. Well, I might as well go to sleep, considering the fact that whatever he injected me with prohibits me from even shitting myself.
  70. Well, that was a nice dream. I was crawling around a dungeon with a changeling, hunting for forbidden treasure. But, I was awoken by somebody or something fiddling with my neck.
  71. Oh my god, it was happening. I found the drug to have worn off, so I opened my mouth to greet his (hopefully) massive man-cock. That's the term right? That's what they say on those HUMANED videos.
  72. But, he didn't facefuck me, he just put something on my neck. I opened my eyes.
  73. What should I say? Definitely something sexy and relaxed. I want him to know that he can do whatever he wants, and that I'm a mature, and experienced mare.
  74. “HELLOOOOOO HUMIIIIIN!” I croaked.
  75. Well, that did not go as planned. Now he'll think that I'm retarded.
  76. I think that I spooked him, as he jumped a step back.
  77. Taking a more sober look at him, he was rather good-looking, kind of like that one guy from that one comic. You know, that one Japaneighse comic about those queers from Prance, and the main heroine had that one cute BF. Ech, it doesn't matter, he's hawt.
  80. Anon
  82. Oh god, you almost freaked the fuck out. You had barely finished putting the shock collar on that cute little pony, and she went full autismo. Thank heck that it was one of those that couldn't be removed unless you knew the code, which she would never ever discover. However, you really hoped that she wasn't mentally challenged, because that bizarre squawk that she just emitted sure could be a sign of that being a possibility. You both look at each other for a couple seconds, before you decide to break the silence.
  83. “So... Do you speak English? Can you understand what I am saying?” You ask the equine.
  84. She takes a minute, and right before you ask her the question again, she replies.
  85. “Yeah, yeah I do. I mean, English is just Ponish with a couple different words for stuff. Sorry for screaming at you. I'm kinda weird when I wake up. Oh, yeah. You kidnapped me and stuff. I almost forgot. You know, this is kinda like that one comic where...” She rambled a bit more about something about “big 2D crotch titties” and “shit taste”. She was taking the fact that she was being kidnapped rather well. Maybe she was faking it, though. She was most likely trying to act relaxed, and at the very last minute, she'd stab you with something, and try to call the cops, or escape.
  86. Well, you weren't about to play those games. You had your phone with you at all times, and the only landline in the house was safely hidden behind a secret compartment in your bedroom closet. Plus, anything that could be used as a weapon against you was locked behind an iron mesh box, bolted to the wall. Every room had a couple, the most being in the kitchen.
  87. You had just finished cleaning up the kitchen, after having made crepes. You loved to cook, even though you weren't that great at it.
  88. After she seemed to be done talking about various things, you began to speak once more.
  89. “So, I put a shock collar on you. It's to make sure that you don't escape. Anyway, I made breakfast. I'll explain your situation to you as we eat.”
  90. She seemed curious, yet relaxed.
  91. “What did you make? My favorite food is chicken tendies, and meme cuisine. It's like foals cuisine but with Applejack Daniels mixed in the sauce. Do you have any Dashies? You know, those breakfast flakes.” She began once more, as she got out of bed. You helped her of course, and she blushed slightly.
  92. Oh, brother.
  93. You really hit the jackpot with this one.
  94. I mean, you were happy that you could possibly skip the entire first week of your plan, and not have to deal with some bitch hysterically screaming at you for a good while. The guys on the forums would be so jealous.
  95. However, it seemed you had handpicked the pony equivalent of a classic imageboard retard.
  96. Well, you were sure that every kidnapper had a couple weirdos here and there, and maybe this was a blessing in disguise. You would see how things would develop.
  97. You led her into the kitchen. You had already set the table with the crepes, and the accouterments.
  98. You had placed fresh fruit, jam, nutella, peanut butter, sugar and cinnamon, and various deli meats on the table. You had remembered to place spoons on the table for the spreads, and not knives.
  99. Of course, you didn't forget the coffee or the juice.
  100. She seemed awestruck.
  101. “T-that looks way better than tendies.” You heard her mutter.
  102. You pulled her chair out for her, and beckoned her to sit down.
  103. She seemed to freeze in place, and after asking her to please sit down, she did so, red as a beet.
  104. She may be nutters, but at least she's adorable.
  105. You sit down at the head of the table, and begin to spread a crepe with peanut butter.
  108. Floor Bored
  110. Whoa. He did all of this for me. He seemed kinda nice, for a kidnapper and potential rapist. I was keeping my hooves crossed. I'm still going after that dick.
  111. I mean, he helped me out of bed, what a gentlecolt. He even pulled out the chair for me, like I'm sort of stacy. Now I'm sitting here, at some table, with these flat, papery pancakes made by this human who foalnapped me. It was a lot to take in. I pick up one of the pancakes, and start poking and prodding at it.
  112. It looks alright. He's already on his second, when he takes a look at me.
  113. “Those are crepes.” He explains, smiling. “They are like French pancakes. You put stuff in one, fold it up, and eat it.”
  114. French? Like Prench, like Prance? Humans were a rather derivative species.
  115. Nevertheless, he showed me how to do it. He took some very thinly sliced apples, places them on a pancake, uh 'crepe', and folded it up like a sort of triangular pocket. He then stood up, and walked towards me, holding the crepe in his outstretched hand.
  116. “Try it! You'll love it.” He assured me, as I took the crepe from his hands, and begin to eat it out of my hooves.
  117. Holy fucking mother of Celestia's fat, juicy ass, this is good.
  118. It was like a buttery, doughy, yet crisp and thin sheet of cake wrapped around the best and juiciest apples I had had in my life. Oh, Luna, he can cook as well.
  119. I look up at him, having wolfed down the whole thing in seconds. He seems happy, with a tinge of pride.
  120. “It seems that you like it. Would you like another one?” He asks.
  121. “Oh please yes. I'll take a gazillion.” I reply, transfixed by his food.
  122. He places a couple of crepes on my plate, and I begin to smear nutella on one of them, sort of folding it the way he taught me how.
  123. “So, little pony, I don't believe to have got your name.” He asks politely as I stuff my face.
  124. “Oh”, I retort, “It's Floor Bored, professor of Internet Retardation. At your service.”
  125. Why did I say these things? Hell, Nasty Nelly was a dead meme at this point.
  126. The human blinked a couple times.
  127. “Well, Miss Floor Bored, my name is Anon. Anon Ymous. Feel free to make as many puns as you wish.”
  128. Well, the puns were there. Tartarus, his name sounded like that of a protag from some shitty greentext. Maybe his parents were just flankholes. Well, his bizarre name didn't change the fact that his food was delicious. I'm gonna try the next one with the chicken breast.
  129. YUMMMMMMM!!!
  130. “So, don't you want to know what you're doing here?” He asks, fidgeting with his hands. Oh my god, he's nervous. Maybe he's nervous. Maybe I'm his first victim! Oh, I wanna be his first.
  131. “Well duh, you foalnapped me, locked me up in your house, and are about to fuck my little pony brains out.” I reply, nonchalantly. I want to make sure that he thinks that I've done this before. Which I totally have. I get dick all of the time. Big ol' pingus.
  132. His jaw drops.
  133. “Well, I wouldn't have exactly put it that way. Plus, I don't want to force you to do anything. Well, outside of living with me. You will stay here.” He stammers. Maybe he's one of those goody two shoes who only kind of snapped. Maybe he just has mommy issues, and is scared of being real with me. “Real With Me”. Celestia, I sound like a Zebra. I am on my fourth crepe as he starts his second one.
  134. We continue eating in silence.
  135. “So, do you wanna watch some TV after this?” He asks, I presume almost finished.
  136. I'm quick to reply: “Sounds like an amazing idea, do you have any anime channels or DVDs?”
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