Losing Keys (Suzu / Miki extra)

Losing Keys
-Second year Suzu and Miki find a common ground.
Note: this story contains spoilers for Act 3, from 3-8 onward.


Ha. Haa. Damn it.

Goddammit. I'm standing in front of my door, all I want to do is get inside and turn the lights down and maybe grab something I can smash or punch, but I can't find my damn keys, I've been here for a month already and I keep losing the goddamn things. I could check my other pocket faster if I just had my other hand but I don't, and I wish it would remember that it's gone. I wish it would just BE gone, instead of trying to tell me it's not.

This just fucking awesome hand of mine, it's like adding insult to injury, or more, injury to injury. Not only is it gone, oh, it's gone alright, I still keep the bandage on even though it's been some time now. No, it's gone, but every now and then, it tries to act like it's still here, but instead of feeling like I'm touching things, it feels like it's being crushed or twisted or on fire and DAMN IT where are my keys?

I thump my good fist, my only fist against the door in frustration, I don't think they're here. Must have fallen out, maybe during gym class, that's great. Now I can hear the sound of rain pouring outside and I need to go to the office to get a replacement, this is just--

“Hi.” A quiet voice says. Making a real effort to unclench my jaw, I turn to see a girl standing in the hallway.

“Hey.” I mutter, trying to keep the anger out of my voice, it's not her fault my phantom pains are kicking in. “It's Suzuki, right?”

She nods, smiling a bit awkwardly. “That's right! I'm Suzu.”

Yeah. Suzu Suzuki. Her parents must have had a thing for syllables. But this conversation isn't really getting me anywhere, and it sure as hell isn't getting me my hand back, so--

“Are you all right?” She peers at me. She looks a little intimidated and I guess I can't say I blame her, my first few weeks here were... rough. I think I almost picked a fight with that brother of hers, but he got lucky and fell asleep before I could lay a finger on him.

Ha. Lucky. Aren't we all just so damn lucky.

“Where's your big brother?” I ask, dodging the subject. “I thought you two were joined at the hip or something.”

Suzu smiles again, fondly this time. “He's... out right now.” She says. I'm pretty sure I know what she means.

She motions behind her with her head. “Do you want to come in? I live just down the hall.”

“I dunno, I...” It does sound like a better idea than breaking down my door though, and unless I'm going to steal an umbrella from the common room, I don't want to go out in the rain anytime soon. Why not, I guess. Maybe it will help me take my mind off of the stabbing pain in my--yeah, okay, definitely need to take my mind off of that.

Relenting, I follow her a few doors down. Suzu looks pretty tired, but she flashes me a smile as she pushes her door open. The first thing I notice is the piles of crap... well, stuff... well, crap littering her floor. It's mostly stuffed animals, mixed with clothes and some things like empty water bottles.

“What a mess.” I say flatly, hoping she doesn't notice me clutching my bandaged wrist with my good hand.

Suzu gets what she probably thinks is a sly grin, which tells me that she's happy to look like a slob. On second thought, I guess all this junk might be a kind of defense mechanism, in case she passes out. Which she probably does a lot, that's kind of depressing actually. I won't burst her little stuffed animal bubble then.

Ignoring my hand that's not a damn hand anymore as best as I can, I step further inside. Everything is painted in the soft glow of the television, which is playing some movie with the volume down low enough to be just a gentle noise. The next thing I notice is a boy, sprawled on his back in the bed. It's the brother that she mentioned earlier, his name is... Seiji, I think? He looks like shit. No that came out badly, he's not bad looking, he just looks bad, like, absolutely exhausted.

Huh. Ever since I met the two of them, I kind of always figured that if I had a condition like that, I would want people to wake me up as soon as I went dark. But looking at him now, it really seems like he needs the rest.

Suzu closes the door behind me, taking a seat on the floor with her back against the bed. She gestures for me to do the same and I comply. I'm still gripping my hand... stump, whatever, and I'm sure she's noticed by now, but she doesn't say anything.

I wipe a bead of sweat from my brow, more from the pain than anything else. I would expect this to be kind of awkward, after all, I don't really know the two of them very well and here I am. But something about the dim, soft atmosphere in the room manages to help me relax, maybe my hand is even hurting a tiny bit less. Maybe.

“You're lucky he doesn't snore, huh?” I point my thumb back at the bed, and Suzu lets out a little laugh.

“He's the quiet one, actually.” She makes a pouty face, that's a skill she needs to work on. “Apparently I mumble a lot.”

I chuckle before turning my attention to the television screen. It's some older sci-fi movie, even though I'm pretty sure I haven't seen it before it's still not enough to distract me from the twisting. And the burning, and the needles. The twisting, burning needles that--

In the corner of my eye, I notice Suzu plucking something from the bed behind her. “Hey.” She says softly. I turn to see her holding up a pillow, poking her head around the side.

“What.” is the only reply I can think of.

“I want you to hit me as hard as you can.” She says, pursing her lips.

“You mean the pillow, right?” I reply, staring at her blankly. Suzu freaks out for a second before recovering.

“Yeah that's, that's what I mean.” She mumbles, and then gives me a determined stare. Is this something she saw on TV? Does she know that my hand really freaking hurts, and she thinks this will make me feel better?

Well. Maybe it will, hell I don't know. Fine, if she's offering. I look at her one more time to make sure she's ready--she has no idea what she's doing--and then pull my right hand back, curling it into a fist. Even as I do, the pain continues to stab at my left wrist, the wrenching and the ripping and the--

Screw it. I fire off my best right hook, smashing into the center of the pillow with all the force I can manage. Suzu topples backwards, bumping into her nightstand with a muffled squeak and sending a few objects raining down from above. I hear the boy in the bed let out a groan, but he doesn't sound like he's waking up any time soon.

I feel a little bad as Suzu picks herself up, but part of me feels great. Huh, I guess I've still got it. And actually... that was kind of nice.

“Is that... is that all ya got?” Suzu sets up again, shaking it off.

“You don't have to do this.” I raise an eyebrow at her even as I dig my blunted wrist into the carpet, it's starting to hurt again. Suzu gives me a knowing, tired smile.

“It's fine.” She says, getting back into position, although she scoots a little further from her nightstand.

“I'm tough.” She twists her arm in a circle and I hear a popping noise, both of us wince. I guess she's used to getting knocked around a bit.

Again, she gives me that knowing look. She already seems like she's got enough bruises, but whatever, she's asking for it. I ready another punch, this time to make up for the hassle of losing my goddamn keys as well as these stupid phantom pains that won't go away and if I could I would just smash the whole freaking--

This time, she's a little more prepared. Suzu rocks back but doesn't go flying or anything. She gives me another tired grin as she looks at me from behind the pillow.

“Feel better yet?” She asks.

“I'll tell you in a second.” I cock my fist back again, stupid freaking pop quiz in English and--

“Wah!” She readies herself right before the third punch connects, holding the pillow tightly and trying not to absorb the impact with her somewhat scrawny frame.

I take a few deep breaths. Yeah, actually, I do feel a bit better. Suzu peeks at me carefully, but I turn to rest my back against the bed again, watching the movie on the television. The girl next to me slowly relaxes as she gets that I'm done, sitting down next to me.

“How about now?” She asks, and I laugh.

“Yeah. Yeah, that's better, thanks.” I almost feel more tired than anything else now, maybe it's this room, it's sapping my energy or something. But it's kind of nice too.

“I'm glad.” She says, and I look over to see her smile at me again. She looks pretty wiped out too. This girl...

It must be pretty shitty, having a condition like that. Can't go out by herself, has to be careful around hard surfaces. Always missing out on things, nothing's really certain for her at all. I wouldn't want to live like that, but I guess I've got something I have to live with too.

“Hey Suzu?” I ask.

“Huh?”

“What's it like, having no control over falling asleep all the time?”

She thinks about it, looking melancholy for a few seconds. I have no doubt that she finds it pretty frustrating too, although she doesn't look like the type to let it out by hitting things. Maybe that's why she's always hauling a book around. Or maybe she just has it for when her brother conks out and she needs to kill some time, who knows.

Finally, she looks back up at me. “It's exhausting.” She says, giving me a tired grin. I can't help but grin back.

“Who has the energy to fight with something that you can't really stop?” She says quietly. She turns to stare at the television and I do the same, my left hand has gone quiet. Still trembling a little bit, still the odd pulse of pain. But no grinding, no twisting, no crushing. It's peaceful here, surrounded by soft crap and narcoleptic kids.

A head is suddenly resting on my shoulder. I glance over at a mop of sea-green hair.

“Hey, are you falling asleep on me?”

“Sorry.” She mumbles quietly. “Can't help it.”

I think she's trying to guilt me. “I can't stay here forever, I need to get a new key from the office.”

“But it's raining, can't you wait...?” Her voice is growing softer, it's not much more than a whisper now.

“You're comfy.” She says, and I kind of stop in my tracks.

It's not the nicest thing anyone has said to me since arriving here, but it's up there. This girl doesn't really need me, she's got the boy in the bed behind us to be a pillow, or a teddy bear, or something stupid like that. But...

I guess someone in her position could really only handle it one of two ways. Either she could go completely all out and try to squeeze every last drop out of her waking hours, or she could just kind of be laid back and take things as they come. I always thought Suzu was a little bit awkward, she seems to rely too much on her brother to really get out much, but now I realize that she's actually pretty relaxed sometimes, and it's, well, kind of nice. And my hand... my lack of a hand... it doesn't hurt anymore, somehow. Maybe I should come over and punch her furniture more often, I wonder if she would... oh. She's asleep. Well that's probably not a very rare sight. And she's still leaning on me.

I watch the light from the movie play across her peaceful, soft features for a few moments, and I know I don't have the heart to wake her. I guess she needs her rest, too. That's just... that's just great.

This isn't all bad though, just have to get a little bit more comfortable, and... there. All right. I'm actually pretty worn out myself, and this room has been tailor made to suit sleepy people, so who knows. I watch the television with eyelids that grow heavier as time goes on, the volume so low that I can still hear the steady beat of the rain outside and the soft breathing of the girl who's head is resting on my shoulder.

Maybe I could get used to this. Being at Yamaku. Being around these two. Maybe this could be nice. I don't know, all I know is that I don't hurt right now and maybe, just maybe I have this fragile little sleepy girl to thank for it. The least I could do to make it up to her is hang out here for a while. Who knows.





“Losing Keys” is a song by Jack Johnson.