2019-03-15 The Colonies

2019-03-15 The Colonies
Hoxton, Sydney, Dallas

[18:34:20] <Dallas> ((Oh Hox, was Jim's phone on during the jewelry store hit yesterday?))
[18:34:57] <Hoxton> ((Yeah it was!))
[18:35:04] <Dallas> ((Oh wait, ECM.))
[18:35:25] <Dallas> ((The ECM would've intercepted the incoming call.))
[18:35:57] <Dallas> *Check your phone later, Jim, and you'll see you've got 3 missed calls, all from the same number.*
[18:37:42] <Hoxton> *While organizing their loot, Hox notices his phone blinking. He pulls it out for a moment, seeing Dallas' text first then the three calls. Wait....oh. Oh shit! He's gonna excuse himself and dial that number*
[18:39:38] <Dallas> *His call goes ignored. He's sent to voicemail.*
[18:41:02] <Hoxton> *An annoyed curse and he ends the call, dialing again* C'mon ya twat! C'mon!....*probably not a big chance he'll take it but...*
[18:42:38] <Dallas> *Nothing. It's an unknown number. Nobody but his work colleagues and Bain have Hox's number, and he hasn't gotten any wrong number calls thus far, so what does this say?*
[18:43:38] <Dallas> *Oh wait, Aleksandr does, but Hox has his number, right?*
[18:45:16] <Hoxton> Ah shite! *It has to be the guard. If he's send back to voicemail, he'll leave a message.* Call me back as soon as you hear this! *He rubs his face, looking very agitated. Shit! Means the fella is up on a heist or about to! He hurries back to the loot.* Shite, fella! The copycat called!
[18:45:37] <Hoxton> *And yes, I think Hox has Aleksandr's number as well!*
[18:46:01] <Dallas> *He does! Is he listed under a weird name in Hox's contacts?*
[18:47:22] <Hoxton> *Hox was this close listing him as "Russian twat" but refrained. You never know how this might bite your ass in return. Though he's probably saved as Alex.*
[18:49:46] <Sydney> *Sydney doesn't really notice Hox's preoccupation with his phone. She's busy sorting through the jewelry, keeping an eye for opals.*
[18:52:09] <Hoxton> *He walks back in, noisily cursing.* Ah shite! Fuck! Fellas, I think I bloody missed calls from the guard! Counterfeit Hox, whatever! *He nervously plays with the phone.* The goddamn jammer! Shit!
[18:52:44] <Sydney> ...Fantastic timing on his part, innit?
[18:54:26] <Hoxton> Doubt he knows our bleedin schedule! *he paces around, phone in hand* Shite. They had to be called onto another job. Ya got counterfeit us and some wannabe Bain! Shite!
[18:55:06] <Sydney> Calm your bloody tits, mate. If it's actually important, stands to reason they'll call again, yeah?
[18:55:57] <Dallas> Jim, relax. At least if they were running a job elsewhere, means they couldn't get tangled up in our business. And I doubt anyone seriously thinks they're us.
[18:57:31] <Hoxton> They are bleedin amateurs! Maybe even fuckin shot to bits by the cops. Christ. *he doesnt look relaxed, just very restless.* Yeah, yeah right! I dont like this. Why even dressin em up as us? Ya'll notice quickly they aint us. So why do that in the first place?
[18:57:32] <Dallas> *Dallas is looking through boxes, checking for security tags.*
[18:58:20] <Sydney> We got a brand, yeah? People recognize the masks. Makes civvies a bit more cooperative.
[18:58:39] <Dallas> Or maybe it's some kid--like you said, some wannabe Bain. Saw us on the news and decided he wanted to give it a try.
[18:58:58] <Dallas> Some script kiddie.
[19:02:17] <Hoxton> *Hox nods, still fiddling with the phone.* Still. I....just. Fook. I'll say it. I dont like that they get send out. In our bloody masks and probably get shot down. *He curses heartily.* Hope Bain gets a lead on that twat soon.
[19:03:51] <Hoxton> Whoever that twat is, he's gotta calculate Bain is probably goin for his arse right? Must be either fuckin stupid or good.
[19:04:55] <Sydney> Those aren't mutually exclusive. Could be good at what he does but dumb about going about it.
[19:06:28] <Dallas> *Oh, Sydney--look. This box opens to reveal a thin silver bracelet with pale speckled opals all along the chain. Dallas says* We can't make ourselves responsible for what happens to them. Where's the limit?
[19:06:59] <Hoxton> I sure hope so, fuckin hell. A dumb of his would be a big, fuckin blessin. I mean, how long until he's bored with the counterfeit twats and move on? *he sits down at last.* Bloody hell, I dont like this.
[19:07:06] <Dallas> Every time we hit a place, a bunch of people die, or they lose their jobs--it's the cost of doing business for us.
[19:07:36] <Dallas> You think he's gonna escalate this?
[19:07:49] <Sydney> Of course he fucking is.
[19:08:52] <Sydney> *Sydney sets the bracelet aside, mulling it over. She'll come back to it.*
[19:09:23] <Hoxton> Yeah, fella. I know but fook! Sits fuckin weird with me. Besides the fella's getting blackmailed. And now he's wearin my mask for this. *He gestures a little helplessly* And yeah, I betcha. He's gonna be bored with those amateurs in no time. Then he'll want bigger fish.
[19:15:40] <Sydney> *She pauses for a moment, straightening up.* You think this fucker eventually wants us dancin' on their strings too?
[19:16:19] <Dallas> *Dallas looks rather alarmed at the suggestion, though Sydney's just saying what everybody's thinking.*
[19:16:51] <Hoxton> You got some wannabe Bain there. He's got his merry band of fake clowns. They just dont cut it really. And then ya got us! *waves his hand* The real, bloody deal. Wouldnt that be some wet dream for a wannabe Bain?
[19:16:59] <Dallas> Sure hope not. Bastard's gotta be out of his mind if he thinks he's gonna compete with Bain and CrimeNet. *Speak of the devil, a call comes in from Bain. Just a quick one. He says he just got off the phone with Gage. Thanks to the deal they've struck with the Butcher, guns are moving smoothly, and there's gonna be another midnight bazaar type deal down at the docks. One night only, buy some guns on-site or order others.*
[19:18:08] <Sydney> ((:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD))
[19:18:17] <Sydney> ((GUNS))
[19:18:34] <Dallas> ((The time has come, lads. Wallets opening up like a Steam sale.))
[19:18:55] <Hoxton> Oi Bain. The counterfit called me earlier. *he adds in case Bain is still on the line.* Any progress on that other ba----the uh. Handler?
[19:19:19] <Sydney> *Sydney tosses the opal bracelet back into the lot. She'll need the cash more than the shinies if guns are on the table.*
[19:20:03] <Hoxton> No doubt he's fuckin lost a couple screws. And..*he turns to Sydney* If he's got any access to police files, which he might have, ya wanna watch out. The cops know your scent now.
[19:21:05] <Hoxton> *ALSO NICE. Gage midnight market again! He was already pondering another set of scopes for the remi. This sounds good. Almost like some kinda day trip for the gang*
[19:21:34] <Sydney> Fuckin' christ, hard to be more careful if I don't fucking leave the fucking safehouse... *She starts grumbling, clearly very bitter about the situation.*
[19:22:44] <Dallas> *AHA, yes. The other Bain. Bain says he's been doing some digging. Tellingly, no clarification as to how he got this intel, but it turns out our counterfeit Hoxton was quite the true crime enthusiast. He'd been hanging out in some discussion groups, posting regularly, and very recently purged his account. Pretty obvious why. Bain's still trying to get a handle on who the other fake clowns are.*
[19:23:19] <Dallas> *And good thinking, Syd. There are bigger, more beautiful opals out there than these tiny milky ones. Those nice dark ones with veins in them like fire, y'know? Worth the wait.*
[19:24:38] <Hoxton> Cheers, mate! Maybe some of his discussion buddies on those forums? Anyway. Thanks, mate! If ya get word of some clowns landin in custody or summat, lemme know yeah?
[19:26:12] <Dallas> *Of course, Bain says. He'll be on the lookout. Bonus update regarding the fake passport Hox requested from Hector's forger. Progress is good. Documents should be ready soon. He'll also be sending over a fresh set of ID for Sydney.*
[19:26:15] <Hoxton> *To Sydney* I know. I just dont wanna end up understimatin that situation and it ends up biting our collective arse.
[19:26:59] <Sydney> Yeah, I know. I'm still gonna bitch about it though.
[19:27:34] <Hoxton> *he looks at her for a moment. Frowning.* It's tough losin ya freedom like that huh?
[19:28:24] <Dallas> *Dallas looks a little uncomfortable, and says to Bain* You got anything else for us?
[19:29:00] <Hoxton> *Hox thanks Bain for the information and says he is looking forward to the new passports and thanks him for that as well.*
[19:29:06] <Sydney> *She pauses, then shakes her head.* It's funny how much you take for granted. Never seem to enjoy the perks 'til you lose 'em.
[19:30:24] <Dallas> *Bain says Hector's been looking to get in touch with the gang about a job. Quick, one day deal. The way Hector sounded talking about it, it's gonna be pretty loud. Bain told him not to expect too much, since the gang's just come back from a job. So no pressure if they don't wanna head straight into another one.*
[19:31:50] <Dallas> *He's on speaker!*
[19:31:59] <Dallas> *So yeah, feel free to talk directly to him.*
[19:32:21] <Hoxton> Yeah. Though ya can still go outside. And dont bite my head off, but you gotta make sure ya dont leave people much to remember. Better than bein stuck inside all day.
[19:32:28] <Dallas> *Every once in a while, Bain starts trailing off mid-sentence, like he's typing, or something's distracting him. But he's listening in.*
[19:33:05] <Sydney> *Sydney calls out to the phone,* Fuck it, I'm in.
[19:33:28] <Hoxton> *he sighs and addresses Bain* What kinda job? Fook....we still gotta talk with his cooks. Did summat happen?
[19:37:00] <Dallas> *Bain says a situation recently arose involving a rival cartel. They've been sniffing around, trying to connect to some independent cook working in the area. What Hector wants is those cartel members gone, and a message sent--DC belongs to the Morales cartel. Do not attempt to conduct business here.*
[19:38:58] <Dallas> Bain: So yes, cartels. But Hector's willing to pay big bucks to keep those guys out of his business.
[19:39:34] <Hoxton> *It's always weird to connect that image of the lonely man in his big house to the ruthless cartel leader. But Hox keeps those thoughts to himself.* Quick an dirty, huh?
[19:39:42] <Sydney> *Sydney tries to keep too much excitement from showing.* What's the opposition look like?
[19:42:04] <Dallas> Bain: No more than eight guys, Hector says. They're the vanguard. Heavily armed. I've tracked them down to a hotel downtown. Hector was vague on what he wants done about them. All he said was to make sure their bosses know incursions into DC will be met with heavy resistance, so you'll be working under Hector's flag.
[19:42:04] <Hoxton> Yeah how many of those twats are sniffin around?
[19:43:24] <Sydney> *Sydney's brow furrows as she starts thinking about the job.* Hotel. Don't know if I like that. Easy for us to get in, but lots of civvies around.
[19:44:09] <Dallas> *Bain says they have to leave sometime. They could try and catch them on the road, or set up a Trojan horse. Fake deal, then ambush them and wipe them all out.*
[19:44:56] <Hoxton> *To Dallas. Hox doesnt look overly enthusiastic though.* Hm. Ya think this would be dangerous for us if run with our payday masks? I dunno, but fuckin with cartels...that's tricky shite.
[19:45:30] <Dallas> *Dallas offers hesitantly* Lucha masks?
[19:46:10] <Sydney> *Sydney makes a prolonged mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sound.* I can whip up something, no sweat, but iunno, I don't like the lucha aesthetic.
[19:46:19] <Hoxton> *Hox looks at him, the starts to chuckle* Holy shite! We'll fuckin challenge em to a wrestlin match. Only we'll bring guns!
[19:46:35] <Dallas> *Bain doesn't have the heart to tell Dallas what a terrible idea that is. In response to Hox's thoughts, however, he does say disguises are a good idea. If any heat comes their way due to this job--*
[19:48:55] <Dallas> *If they're considering doing it, Bain says, he'll collect as much intel as he can about the gang members, and send it all their way. Hector's leaving pretty much everything up to them to decide, so he encourages them to go ahead and think out of the box.*
[19:49:18] <Hoxton> I've had my fuckin share of buggerin mobs. Cartels of whatever. Better be careful around those twats. Though... do we have ta decide right now?
[19:50:08] <Sydney> Might as well get some more info first, yeah?
[19:51:15] <Dallas> Bain: They'll be staying in town for the next couple days, so think about it. Unless any other crew signs on, but I doubt it. Tangling with cartels--it's risky work. Let me know what you decide.
[19:52:32] <Hoxton> Gotcha, mate. Shoulda discuss this with the whole gang! *he looks at Syd and Dallas, curious about their reactions.*
[19:53:59] <Sydney> Sounds wicked to me. Barring some horrific unknown piece of intel, I'm in.
[19:54:41] <Dallas> *No problem. As soon as proper intel comes in, Bain will call them again, lay it all out for the team. He says he'll be in touch, ends the call.*
[19:55:47] <Dallas> *Dallas has been quiet, thinking, then says to Sydney* Hector's been pretty straightforward with us so far. If he says to send a message, that's probably all there is to it.
[19:55:55] <Hoxton> Well, jobs come rainin in now. *he leans back, glances at the phone.*
[19:56:14] <Dallas> *Still no call or texts.*
[19:56:30] <Sydney> Good. You guys know the bloke, right? Whatcha think of him?
[19:57:16] <Dallas> We were up at his place, ah--jeez, how long ago was this? Last Friday? When you and Wolf hit the GenSec trucks. We went up to his place, Hox and me.
[19:58:58] <Hoxton> Yeah. Bloody fancy place. But I doubt that, too. Fella is pretty straight forward. *rubs his chin* Doubt he'd mean to fuck us over.
[20:00:17] <Dallas> Yeah, it's probably fine. He said he had a situation with his cooks, some kinda recipe leak. Might be why these guys are sniffing around.
[20:00:35] <Sydney> Good enough for me, then. *She pauses, then rubs her hands together eagerly.* So what was that about guns?
[20:01:35] <Dallas> *Dallas leans back, cracks a smile.* That big boombox looking thing, the one you left in Russia. Whaddaya think, maybe get a version 2.0?
[20:02:12] <Sydney> Well I mean if it's there I'll think about it. But it's a real bugger to carry around.
[20:02:19] <Sydney> Tons of fun to use, though.
[20:02:58] <Hoxton> Right, we gotta talk to his cooks at some point, mate!
[20:04:32] <Dallas> *A nod to Hox.* Sounds like a plan. And somebody let Wolf and Dragan know about the midnight market dealio. Dragan, especially. Get the guy geared up properly. Nobody should be using hand-me-downs.
[20:06:22] <Dallas> ((I swear to God, it's guns, but all I can see is those Scholastic book fairs you get at school. I loved that shit as a kid, man.))
[20:06:39] <Sydney> ((ME TOO))
[20:09:02] <Hoxton> If I seem em around, I will. Guess Sydney's gonna meet em before us though. Aw that's great. I*ve been ponderin some new scopes for the remi. Or maybe gettint it's paint re.checked. *The paintjob is fine on the gun but he genuinely loves it. It's a beautiful gun*
[20:11:13] <Sydney> *Gears start turning in Sydney's head.* ...You know, if I got the right paints, I could probably do work on guns.
[20:11:32] <Dallas> Hey, doesn't hurt to get your rifle serviced every now and then. Make sure everything's in proper working order.
[20:11:51] <Dallas> *Dallas looks over at Sydney, intrigued.* Ya don't say?
[20:12:51] <Hoxton> Yeah, I gotta keep good care of that beauty. I mean, if we get bloody filmed durin work, we gotta look our part. Guns as well! *he grins and turns to Sydney* Whoa really?
[20:13:22] <Sydney> I mean, I'd need to do, like, a lot of testing, make sure whatever I do doesn't fuck up the gun or start flaking off... *She knits her eyebrows, considering.* ...Yeah, I could probably do something with that.
[20:14:54] <Dallas> *sounding genuinely impressed* Cool. *Probably already thinking up designs he'd like to see Syd put on his guns.* Remember that thing--vantablack? Picture this. Vantablack gun. Black as goddamn midnight on a moonless night.
[20:15:50] <Sydney> *Sydney grins widely, eagerly nodding* Fuck, mate, that'd be fucking wicked.
[20:16:24] <Sydney> ...Unrelated, but we're gonna have to stop at a florist before we get to the meet.
[20:16:34] <Hoxton> Oh I could dig that! Ya know...I've been thinkin about customizin guns a little. *He pauses* Wha?
[20:16:44] <Dallas> That and a vantablack mask. Jesus, they'd be shitting themselves. *beat* I'd be shitting myself--
[20:16:51] <Dallas> A florist?
[20:17:05] <Sydney> I need to get something nice for the man who gave me Brenda.
[20:17:55] <Hoxton> *Hox starts to chuckle.* Jesus, lassie! Ya like that gun so much huh?
[20:18:11] <Dallas> Hey, she's a beautiful gun.
[20:18:31] <Sydney> She's amazing. *Sydney smiles dreamily.*
[20:18:11] <Dallas> Hey, she's a beautiful gun.
[20:18:31] <Sydney> She's amazing. *Sydney smiles dreamily.*
[20:21:39] <Hoxton> *Hox smiles, leans back a little* Cant beat a sleek sniper rifle though. But yeah, she's an..impressive lady.
[20:21:50] <Hoxton> Ya fellas wanna stock up on summat new?
[20:22:05] <Sydney> Can never have too many guns, can ya?
[20:22:55] <Hoxton> Yeah! But...there is somethin about havin ...THE gun, y'know? It's like a good friendship. Ya gotta invest in ya gun!
[20:23:01] <Dallas> I'm still waiting on this refurbished, ah--this shotgun I lifted off the bulldozer type back in Russia. Tactical shotgun. Raven, I think. Kinduva gnarly bastard, but it should clean up nice.
[20:23:06] <Hoxton> *He gestures and grins.*
[20:23:31] <Sydney> Oh, believe me, I know. Brenda and I are BFFs. But I can't bring her everywhere, can I?
[20:23:45] <Hoxton> Oh fook me, I remember that one! Yeah it's been about bloody time! *he nudges Dallas* Any teaser on how the paint job's gonna be?
[20:23:55] <Dallas> *Dallas gives Hox a skeptical look. Curiously* Do you name your guns, Hox?
[20:24:33] <Dallas> *Dallas waffles a bit at the question.* Just--clean. I want it to look clean.
[20:25:04] <Sydney> Yeah, don't be expecting anything too soon, gents. I wanna take the time so I can learn to do it right.
[20:25:17] <Hoxton> *Hox looks up, looking thoughtful.* Actually....nah. I havent. But I am sure my sniper's a lady. *he nods.* She gotta be.
[20:25:20] <Dallas> Hey, Brenda's a big lady. Big and beautiful. Maybe pick up a smaller girl, like a little sister to her.
[20:26:08] <Sydney> Eh, brother, maybe.
[20:26:35] <Hoxton> I bet ya shotgun's gonna look amazin! *A big grin* Ya gotta show it off to me when it's there. Ya and a tactical shotgun. Ya ever handled one before?
[20:27:06] <Dallas> *Dallas chuckles.* Oh yeah? I'm pretty sure all guns are female, just like ships. It's like the Russians, right? Every gun has a woman's name. Like Natascha. Imagine naming your gun Boris. *He spreads his hands--what the hell even is that?*
[20:27:34] <Dallas> I have never handled a tactical shotgun. Wish me luck.
[20:29:15] <Hoxton> *Hox laughs* OI. Everybody fear my infamous gun, known as Bob the badarse! *He grins* Yeah right! Why though? Not like they cant be blokes as well.
[20:29:40] <Sydney> Yeah, man. It's equality.
[20:29:41] <Hoxton> And Boris? Option for ya shotgun huh? Last Boris I met was russian and big and had a fuckin mean right hook.
[20:31:51] <Hoxton> Though if ya wanna give that Raven a spin at the range, count me in! That's gotta be somethin to see huh?
[20:32:01] <Dallas> *Dallas thinks about it, then offers* I'll keep it in mind. Boris the tactical shotgun.
[20:32:48] <Hoxton> *Hox leans back, looking fierce and putting on his worst/best russian accent.* Say hello to my Boris.
[20:34:55] <Dallas> *At this, Dallas cracks a smile, then laughs.* Your little friend, huh? *beat* Jesus, Tony Montana. Whatever happened to that guy?
[20:37:07] <Hoxton> No....Nyet! My BIG friend, comrade! *He looks so serious, pointing his imaginary Boris at them and miming shotgun sounds.* Tony....Oh ya mean that Scarface fella? I....dunno! Didn't he die or summat?
[20:37:44] <Dallas> *Dallas' face falls.* What? No way. Since when?
[20:38:58] <Hoxton> I have no idea, but ya dont hear much about him? And now it's all quiet. Doesnt sound to me like he's still kickin, or? Though I havent been keepin up these past years.
[20:39:24] <Sydney> *Sydney gets back to work sorting loot.*
[20:42:24] <Dallas> *Dallas looks troubled. He grabs his phone, starts scrolling around, no doubt looking for news on the guy. People come and go in the underworld, but it's still a real blow when a big fish like that, someone you figured would be around forever, gets snuffed out of the frickin' blue.*
[20:43:39] <Sydney> ((*knocks on door* ROOM SERVICE!))
[20:44:02] <Dallas> ((P: *opens up*))
[20:44:18] <Hoxton> *Hox looks surprised on how much that troubles Dallas. He peers over to have a look on his phone as well.* Ya didnt know that bloke, did ya?
[20:44:21] <Sydney> ((BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM))
[20:44:57] <Dallas> ((*COLLAPSES IN SLOW MOTION* D;))
[20:45:15] <Hoxton> ((:D))
[20:47:34] <Dallas> Not personally. Jesus, have I been living under a rock or something? *Trying to brush him off as he puts his phone away. He's not even looking for Tony anymore, he's apparently looking up news on the Five Families in New York. Trying to catch up on missed news.*
[20:50:16] <Hoxton> Well as I said, I dunno for sure! Might be kickin on his private island somewher in the bahamas, sipping cocktails outta coconuts! *A sympathetic glance* Shite happens pretty fast sometimes.
[20:56:04] <Hoxton> And oi, if ya ever got a little time. Uh. Could appreciate some help with taxes an shite as soon as my new ID arrives.
[20:56:46] <Dallas> *Dallas sits back, too surprised now to be distraught over Tony and all the other old-timers he hasn't heard from in years.*
[20:57:34] <Dallas> Yeah? I mean--yeah, that's smart, kid. Get a nice paper trail going, give your fake ID a little history so there's a person back there, paying bills, paying taxes, in case the feds decide to check.
[20:58:13] <Sydney> *Sydney grumbles something about taxes under her breath.*
[20:58:15] <Dallas> *to Sydney* Now I know what you're gonna say, but give it some serious consideration.
[20:58:21] <Sydney> ((HAAAAAAAH))
[20:58:21] <Hoxton> ((HAHAHAHA))
[20:58:26] <Sydney> ((THAT TIMING THO))
[20:58:28] <Hoxton> ((NICE))
[20:59:11] <Sydney> *She rolls her eyes and scoffs.* Whatever, dad.
[20:59:14] <Dallas> I'll help you out, no problem. You too, Syd. Sure, the IRS gets their cut, but there's nothing more terrifying than a taxman scorned. I ever tell you guys what happened to Capone?
[20:59:37] <Hoxton> Yeah, mate! Ya brought some good points up. Dont wanna end up like capone eh? And between all of us, ya got the most experience doin proper taxwork and so on!
[20:59:44] <Hoxton> *LOOK. HE REMEMBERED THAT TIDBIT*
[21:00:52] <Hoxton> If anythin fooks me in the arse in the end, I dont wanna be it bloody taxes, no thanks! And when I get to set shite back up all over, I want it to be proper!
[21:02:23] <Dallas> *Brief lull from Dallas, not sure whether he's already told them the story. Still, he says* The guy thought the IRS can't collect legal taxes on illegal money. He was dead wrong, and the IRS nailed him on tax fraud and got him sentenced to eleven years in a federal penitentiary.
[21:03:03] <Dallas> And all this without even touching the nature of his business. If he'd been doing his homework laundering all that cash and paying his taxes, none of this would've happened.
[21:03:39] <Dallas> Banal end to a spectacular career. It's sad.
[21:04:44] <Hoxton> Ah! Alcatraz, wasnt that the place? And wait a second. So he got his money like we do and ...he didnt pay taxes at all? *He looks vaguely stunned and maybe a little impressed by the ferocity that is american taxmen.*
[21:07:20] <Dallas> Exactly. He owed north of $200k in back taxes and interest. But get this--this was in 1930s dollars.
[21:08:57] <Sydney> Christ. That's a hell of a lot of money back then.
[21:09:40] <Dallas> *In case Hox is wondering, Dallas also gives him the quick primer on laundering. Check the books at the Tasteful, or any other mob-run club, and you'll see way more sales than the club makes that night. Those books, he says, are cooked. The sales fake, the money coming from illegal operations--like proceeds from their thievery. But now they're "legit" sales. Whatever you then get paid--as an owner, as an employee, whatever--is good clean money, which you pay taxes on. And you're scot free.*
[21:10:32] <Dallas> *Bain's taking care of the laundering portion of it. All they need to do is pay their dues.*
[21:12:55] <Hoxton> Oh! *he remembers the accounting book at the tasteful. He bets they did the same there.* And fuck me, 200k back then? Yeah no wonder the feds got really angry about that, jesus christ! *He listens attentively* Yeah what an end for a fella like him. Ya bein some bigshot and then the taxes come ringin! Thank fook Bain's takin care of it. *He whistles* Yeah fook. Sign me up for taxin once my papers come.
[21:13:19] <Dallas> *He does acknowledge that yes, it's possible to spend dirty money on a cash basis, like eating out, or buying things--conceding the point to Sydney--but good luck purchasing a house or anything that'll leave a trail. Then the IRS will come sniffing.*
[21:13:44] <Dallas> No worries, kid. I'll show you the ropes.
[21:15:45] <Dallas> *beat* When I was a kid, I thought laundering meant washing the actual money. *cracks a smile* Little did I suspect.
[21:16:05] <Hoxton> *Hox grins* Cheers, mate! Christ. Ya go on and do ya crooked business and still, you gotta watch out for the uppers to come knockin for their due. But dunno if ya know that. In capone's case. The government could just...dunno, fook him up through the mob?
[21:16:23] <Sydney> *Sydney gives a small smile.* You ain't the only one, Dallas.
[21:16:56] <Hoxton> *Hox cracks a grin and laughs* Yeah! Me too! I thought they'd do it in places like these! Huge washin maschines! Hah, and now look where we ended up!
[21:17:19] <Dallas> *Dallas grins.* Talk about irony.
[21:19:47] <Sydney> Yeah, I think we got a bunch of those too somewhere. *She grins, unable to keep a straight face at her pun.*
[21:20:32] <Hoxton> Or I thought....*he stops, looking embarrassed but grinning* Lettin ya butler do the launderin.
[21:21:14] <Dallas> *Dallas gives a whistle.* Look at Mr. Rockefeller over here with the butler.
[21:21:25] <Sydney> Mr. Posh Pom over here.
[21:22:12] <Hoxton> *He looks away, smiling and flustered* Oi, back off ya two plebs! Aint my fault I was born and bred a proper fuckin gentleman! *he laughs*
[21:22:35] <Dallas> Mr. Silver Spoon. Get yourself a nice solid gold hunting rifle for those fox hunts, huh? Little red coat, couple beagles.
[21:22:45] <Sydney> Luncheon with the Queen.
[21:22:57] <Dallas> With crumpets. *mimes a teacup*
[21:23:05] <Sydney> ((PINKY OUT))
[21:23:09] <Dallas> *PINKY OUT.*
[21:23:16] <Sydney> ((:DDDDDDDDD))
[21:23:40] <Dallas> *Ah, nothing like the colonies ganging up on ol' Britannia.*
[21:23:54] <Hoxton> *He huffs, actually blushing a little* Just cause my granddad had lunch with the queen! Oi! Ya two, ya gangin up on me!
[21:24:32] <Hoxton> *If they ever see the family portrait of wee little Hox, they'll shit themselves in glee*
[21:25:04] <Dallas> *Dallas leans back, grinning.* Ah, we're just messin' with ya. England is great. Tea, too. Still on the fence about the Queen, but her little dogs are kinda winning me over.
[21:25:06] <Hoxton> Also ya fellas sure could use a bloody lesson in makin tea! *he eyes Dallas* Mircrowave.
[21:25:22] <Dallas> *spreading his hands* What's the difference?
[21:25:56] <Sydney> Boiling's boiling, mate.
[21:26:10] <Dallas> *gesturing to Sydney* She gets it.
[21:26:26] <Hoxton> OH. Oh now ya two are in for a whallop! Firstly, microwave. It's....ugh! It's bloody barbaric, that's what it is!
[21:26:29] <Dallas> Call it... innovation.
[21:27:11] <Hoxton> Call it perversion! *he eyes them.* It's about the experience. Tea aint some convenient shite! You gotta ...savor it!
[21:27:34] <Sydney> Call that pretentious, more like.
[21:29:03] <Hoxton> Ya denyin yourselves the proper bloody taste! Besides, a kettle cant take longer than the fuckin microwave!
[21:29:49] <Dallas> All right. How about this--we make one cup in the microwave, and one more with a kettle. And we'll do a taste test. Blind taste test. *leans back with a satisfied look* And we'll see what happens.
[21:30:44] <Hoxton> *Leans forward, looking fierce* Challenge fookin accepted. BUT. We need proper tea. Not that powdered cardboard power ya call tea.
[21:31:00] <Sydney> Want us to pick it off the plants ourselves?
[21:31:35] <Hoxton> *He makes a quite royal gesture, shooing her away* Might as well, ya lowly plebs!
[21:32:18] <Sydney> *Sydney bows deeply.* Atchyour service, your majesty.
[21:32:20] <Hoxton> *And he crosses his arms. he is SURE he's gonna win this.* And I wanna see ya bloody microwave get the water to the just right temperature.
[21:32:55] <Dallas> All right, we'll make it proper tea. And we'll do it at teatime. *At Sydney's gesture, he too sweeps a deferent bow.*
[21:34:06] <Sydney> *As she stands back up straight, she flips Hox the double bird.*
[21:35:38] <Hoxton> *He looks pretty flattered actually. Who doesnt like getting bowed to like that? It's how it should be.* Looka this. The colonies finally actin the way they should do.
[21:36:27] <Hoxton> Ya got the rebellious one there. *waves into the direction of Dallas.* And the one from the penal island huh?
[21:36:34] <Sydney> Here, take all our stuff too! *She grabs a necklace and throws it at him.* Imperialism, ho!
[21:36:55] <Dallas> *Dallas straightens, lounging back comfortably--before breaking into a surprised laugh at the lobbed necklace.* You tell 'em, Australia!
[21:37:29] <Hoxton> Oi! *he jumps, cursing as the thing hits him right in his face.* Oi! Dont make me come down there and put my foot down!
[21:39:11] <Sydney> I'd like to see you try it, ya pommy bastard! *She's smiling, clearly having fun.*
[21:39:55] <Hoxton> Oh wait. That accent? *He grins* Ya punished enough as it is!
[21:40:42] <Hoxton> Also the cheap seats will shut up, yeah? *he points at Dallas, grinning.* Ya two enjoy ya gangin up. But dont come cryin when ya finally taste some fuckin proper tea!
[21:41:25] <Hoxton> *Mutters* And crumpets are fuckin tasty.
[21:42:20] <Dallas> *Dallas grins from where he's lazily sunk into his comfy spot.* Whaddaya mean? I'm having a great time watching England and Australia go to war. This is fantastic.
[21:42:25] <Sydney> Hey, you gotta admit my accent is better than half the 'Merican ones.
[21:42:35] <Dallas> *OH! WHAT?!* Hey now--
[21:43:38] <Dallas> What you're hearing here is pure unadulterated freedom.
[21:43:54] <Sydney> Yeah? Why donchu park the car in harvard yard?
[21:44:23] <Hoxton> Well! I think we can agree about that one. *he chuckles, looking eagerly at Dallas. TAKE THAT MURICA.*
[21:44:39] <Dallas> *AH, SHIT-- Dallas maintains a straight face for all of three seconds before letting out a single chuckle and looking away.* Goddamn it-- *in his best Boston accent* Not a bad idear, Syd.
[21:44:49] <Sydney> ((AHAHAHAAHAHAHHA))
[21:45:07] <Hoxton> *Hox looks lost for a second, before starting to laugh*
[21:45:20] <Hoxton> What fuckin harvard yard?
[21:45:28] <Dallas> *to Hox* You guys can have Boston back. I won't contest that.
[21:45:30] <Sydney> *Sydney's laughing too hard to explain.*
[21:46:04] <Hoxton> Boston? Tough negotiations, fella! *softly* The empire remembers. All that fuckin tea! No wonder ya ran out on good one!
[21:46:37] <Hoxton> But oi! Dont lemme outta here! What's this fuckin yard and why's Syd pissin herself?
[21:47:22] <Dallas> It's the Boston accent. They, ah--kinda take "r"s away and put 'em in all the wrong places. Hahvahd, yahd, pahk my cah. And then suddenly there's an "r" at the end of idea. Idear.
[21:47:50] <Sydney> *Sydney's wiping at her eyes. Dallas trying to do a Boston accent is too much for her to handle.*
[21:48:01] <Dallas> *Dallas spreads his hands, smiling. Your guess is as good as mine.*
[21:50:09] <Hoxton> *Hox starts laughing as well, this is indeed something behold. And it's also kinda ....sweet. Accent lessons* Bloody hell! Fook me, if we ever go down there I need one of you's to translate!
[21:51:06] <Dallas> Hey, if you like seafood, you're gonna love it. It's right up on the coast.
[21:51:23] <Hoxton> *He clears his throat.* I dinnae ge any of what yus say. *there it is. Hoxtons attempt at scottish accent*
[21:52:12] <Dallas> *Dallas looks long and hard at him, then slowly ekes out* Drunk and Scottish?
[21:52:23] <Hoxton> Roight up the coast? Aye, sounds like a plan, mates!
[21:52:40] <Sydney> *Sydney finally stops giggling, mostly.* Eh, could use some work.
[21:53:33] <Hoxton> *Hox starts to laugh, looking only mildly offended at Sydney* Mostly drunk, yeah! But yeah! Well done! For an american, I didnt think ya'd get it!
[21:54:04] <Dallas> You know what, buddies? Let's get some more accents going, huh? We can polish 'em up together. *nods to Sydney* Your Southern's not too bad, but it'll be a dead giveaway if we're ever down south. A little polish, and you could sound like a proper Georgian, or Texan. Whatever you like.
[21:56:17] <Hoxton> Polish my american right up...buddy!
[21:56:38] <Dallas> There you go! Good job!
[21:56:58] <Hoxton> *yeah that sounded very lame. He clears his throat.* But yeah, please! While it's not diputable my accent is beautiful and whatnot, might stand out!
[21:57:44] <Hoxton> *Softly, to himself* Doin this for ya, old geezer. I gotta blend in to spread some bloody culture!
[21:58:52] <Sydney> *Sydney crosses her arms.* Yeah, I've been working on it.
[22:00:16] <Hoxton> Ya got any idea which accent I could give a try?
[22:01:36] <Sydney> I'd suggest South African, but bloody Yanks can't tell the difference.
[22:02:11] <Dallas> Right. Exactly. Either you go for something local and nail it, or you try for something foreign no one can tell is a bit off.
[22:02:38] <Dallas> *to Sydney* You're doing good, you know? I mean it. Keep using it, and it'll be even better.
[22:03:14] <Hoxton> Huh! *He leans back, pondering that.* Ya know that's a good idea. South African though? Huh!
[22:04:00] <Sydney> *Sydney smiles at Dallas's compliment.* I try. I just pretend I'm wearing a cowboy hat, the rest comes somewhat naturally.
[22:04:21] <Hoxton> Though I gotta say, I'd like to nail one bloody american accent though! Been a while since I have been in this country, huh? *wiggles fingers* Freedom and that shite!
[22:04:22] <Dallas> All I can say is, even if it's a bit off, just pick one and stick with it. Don't hesitate. This is your accent, so don't let your nerves get to you. A lack of confidence will blow your cover every time.
[22:05:37] <Hoxton> And if ya ever consider picking up a beautiful english accent, His majesty is inclined to help a poor colonist out. *he smiles and bows*
[22:05:44] <Dallas> *The cowboy hat--that gets him chuckling. To Hox* Whaddaya think? Y'wanna go down south with Sydney over here? Or stay up north?
[22:05:46] <Sydney> Pip pip, cheerio!
[22:06:24] <Sydney> *She grins wickedly at Hoxton.*
[22:06:26] <Dallas> *in Dallas' poor stiff approximation of an English accent, which comes out at a bit of a falsetto for some reason (comes with the package)* I bloody love crumpets!
[22:07:28] <Hoxton> Both of us doin southern accent? Variation. Try me some northern ones! *and then he blinks, listening to Dallas and starts laughing honestly.*
[22:08:31] <Hoxton> Holy shit, mate! *he grins, still laughing* Dont tell me I sound like that`? Like some knob kicked my crown jewels!
[22:08:47] <Sydney> *Sydney's lost it again.*
[22:09:55] <Dallas> *Dallas laughs.* I'm sorry, it just kinda happened.
[22:10:23] <Dallas> *same falsetto* God save the Queen!
[22:11:59] <Hoxton> *Hox laughs again, wiping at his face.* Bloody beautiful! Ya ever visit the old country, no one's gonna fuckin tell the difference! *he laughs again, then clears his throat, loudly singing* God save the queen!
[22:12:20] <Hoxton> And she'll bloody outlive that orange menace ya got!
[22:15:15] <Dallas> *Dallas finally manages to calm himself down to a couple chuckles, says* Y'know what? I wouldn't be surprised.
[22:15:40] <Sydney> *Sydney's laughing silently, holding her sides and trying to breathe.*