Wiggy

Celestia Greentexts: Why is She so Perfect?

Jan 7th, 2015
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  1. >"What makes Princess Celestia so perfect?" asks a stallion as you walk by in the market.
  2. "Why are you asking me?"
  3. >"You're Anonymous. You live with her. Tell me, why is she so perfect?"
  4. >You could practically see the hearts form in his eyes at the mention of Sunbutt.
  5. "Uh I don't-"
  6. >"Is it her slender, toned body?"
  7. "Maybe-"
  8. >"Her beautiful face, and those crystal clear, magenta pools we call eyes?"
  9. "I think-"
  10. >"Or perhaps her delicate legs and soft, little hoofsies?"
  11. >You didn't even try to interrupt him this time.
  12. >"Mm, maybe it's that soothing voice of hers? I would love for her to sing me a lullaby. I would be asleep instantly."
  13. "Uh huh."
  14. >You kept browsing the stalls looking for any unique items or food.
  15. >He continued to follow you.
  16. >And talk to you.
  17. >"Or maybe, it's her gentle demeanor. Everywhere she goes, she has this air of peace and tranquility to her. She can tame the wildest of animals simply with her presence."
  18. >You picked up an apple and looked it over, the vendor smiling eagerly at you.
  19. >"It could possibly be her divine coloring, too. A bright, pearly-pink. Maybe her mane, too? Its silky smoothness, and ever-flowing state..."
  20. >"That'll be two bits, sir."
  21. >You hand the money to the vendor, but before you can leave, the stallion puts his hoof on your shoulder.
  22. >"What about you, Anonymous? What is your favorite part of Princess Celestia?"
  23. "Uh...her...ass?"
  24. >"...I'm sorry?"
  25. "Her butt? I dunno, I really like looking at her butt. It's nice, round, and big."
  26. >The stallion stares blankly for a moment, before a large grin forms on his face.
  27. >"I can't believe I left that out! Thank you, Anonymous! Maybe that's what I was missing all this time! No wonder she's the perfect pony!"
  28. >He sighs dreamily.
  29. >"And someday...someday, she'll be mine..."
  30. >You leave the lovestruck stallion to his daydreaming, chuckling.
  31. "Good luck with that. She's mine."
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