The Email That "Alarmed" William Hoge

As Section 3-803 of the Maryland Criminal Law Code allows for a person to make such a request on behalf of another, yesterday I officially and legally asked you to cease and desist all harassment of William M. “Bill” Schmalfeldt of Elkridge, Maryland. I did that because Bill is my friend. He wrote the text that I sent you yesterday, whereas this message today is entirely from me.

By my estimation, you have already sunk at least five thousand dollars into this "lawfare" against Bill. You are wholly invested in your purpose, which is to become famous for putting a disabled man in jail for using an @ sign in a tweet. As all your previous criminal charges against Mr. Schmalfeldt have been dismissed by the State’s Attorney of Carroll County, Maryland, but you continue to file charges with the expectation that the outcome will somehow be different, Bill considers the continued filing of these charges as harassment and demands that you cease at once. I, however, do not want you to stop because I consider them your only comedic achievement.

Please, don't stop -- no, really, you're doing great. Keep it up! In fact, do it harder. Please make every waking moment about "getting" Bill and stalking his every move. If you try hard enough, you can set all kinds of records for vexatious abuse of the system, and I encourage you to Dream Big -- because you are really not a funny person, whereas the inevitable end result of your nutty "lawfare" campaign will be hilarious.

Yesterday, I asked you to stop referring to Bill by such derogatory and defamatory “nicknames” as “Cabin Boy," “Oedipal Bill,” and so forth. But that was on his behalf. Today, I ask you to keep acting like a childish bully who needs a good spanking. Please continue to build up an enormous karmic retribution. Yes, karma will get you; I shan't have to lay a finger on the situation. Whatever Schmalfeldt does, you can expect me to just make popcorn and tweet about it, and I get to do that because this is America, where I am allowed to have opinions even if William Hoge dislikes them.

I do not fear you or your troll army. I don't care how much you hate Bill for whatever it is that you imagine he did to you. No matter what happens to you now, you have done it to yourself and you have no one else to blame.

In closing, let me stress again that I transmitted Bill's message yesterday because I am his friend, whereas I am writing this message myself and for my own satisfaction. While I cannot prevent your lunatic friends from making themselves look like fools with idiotic speculations, I would ask that you please publish this email with the attached video for the edification of Aaron Walker and company.

http://youtu.be/XW0j0smt8fY