Once upon a time in a land known as Kentucky, a drab and desolate place, there was a wizard. As a young boy, he dreamed of creating the perfect dish in all the land. He thought to himself, “How can I make a meal that tastes like the nectar of the gods but is cheap as the thread of thy bowtie?” So, the wizard embarks on a journey to the mysterious and forgotten land of Canada. “I must venture to Canada and find Bikini Bottom that holds the secret formula that will make me rich!” He spends months and years traveling to the forsaken land. “The only way I can become rich is to steal the secret formula, or I will never be successful.” After spending 63 years on his expedition, he finally reaches the Krusty Krab. He enters the Krusty Krab and shouts, “Where can I find the Penny Pincher?” Out from the shadows, a large, red crab appears. The red crab is muscular with short legs and tall eyes. “I have come to take the secret formula that you stole from me years ago!” Quickly, a battle commences between the wizard and the crab. Punches are thrown and feelings are hurt. “Hey!”, the wizard says, “Your belt is loose!” The crab stops fighting to look at his belt and gets knocked out by the wizard. “He died because he spit in the face of the gods of the kitchen!”, says the wizard. The wizard searches for the safe that holds the formula. “The safe. Where is the safe? Where could it be? Where did he hide it. Where is it?” After searching for a few minutes, the wizard comes across the safe holding the secret formula. “What could the code possibly be?” The wizard enters the code 1234 in the safe and it opens. “There’s just a sleeping woman in here. The woman is wearing a green, nature-esque dress with a flower on her arm. “Well, I have seen in the movies that the lady wakes up when she is kissed.” Her lips reminded the wizard of a spider’s silk web. The wizard’s face grew closer and closer to the woman, puckering up his lips for the kiss. He kissed the woman and waited for some time, but nothing happened. Suddenly, the woman started shaking and the wizard was frightened. The woman’s skin slowly and violently turns into breading. “Oh my god! She’s becoming America’s favorite family take home dinner!” After finally discovering the perfect way to get rich, the wizard ran back home with the perfect Kentucky Fried Chicken.