In a horse accent,
This is the horse equivalent of being lost in the sauce,
Astray in he hay,

Someone, raising a family is hard,
Necromancer, not if they’re buried close enough to each other,
Someone, what,
Necromancer, what,

Untitled horse game,
It’s like untitled goose game except there’s no malice or mischief involved because horses are just like that,
It’s a lovely morning in the hospital, and you are a horse, loose,

Different love languages,
Knowing someone’s coffee/food order,
Saw this and thought of you texts,
Falling asleep on their shoulder,
Drive safe and text me when you get home,
Having nicknames for each other,

If you find yourself not wanting to label your sexuality or gender that is totally okay, you can be like a u f o, super cool and uncomfortable,

A little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost,
So chivalry is dead,
You win best response to this post,

If you have any questions just say pispispis and I’ll come to you,

Something awful happened in the comments, I’m sure of it,
Death stranding, how to kill b t s,
Death stranding, how to kill, or avoid, b t s,
Give me the knowledge and I will destroy k pop stans once and for all,

Idiot boy gets attacked by birds,
My friend layed down on a bench and let me throw bird seed on him, stupid,
Prometheus,
This is the very first comment someone added to this post and it’s by far the best one,

Most of the ocean is unexplored because everyone agreed that we’d all sleep better at night if we don’t know what the hell is down there,
10 bioluminescent organisms that better cut that freaky crap out before I call the cops,

My g f, mimes are to clowns as dogs are to wolves,
Me, trembling, what,

When I was like 6 I made a poptropica character and the oldest age you could pick was 15 and I distinctly remember saying, good thing nobody lives that long,

If someone ever calls you a mean name just respond nah, like how do you even respond to that realistically,
Some person, hey astown,
You, nah,
Some person,
I think my favorite part about this post is that out of all the mean names someone could realistically call you, they chose astown,

Knife thrower throws their blades at me but I, a sword swallower, swallow them all perfectly,
Eventually they run out of knives and I begin my first round of attack by spitting them back,
You fool, now they have more knives to throw,
And so the cycle begins anew,

This is a picture of my soul,

So it was my cousin’s third birthday and instead of having a normal theme she chose this,

Pitbulls are just land seals,

It’s just fricked up that we bred pigeons to be our companions and then when we no longer had use of them we just abandoned them and now we treat them like menaces and pests and people want them dead, they are our friends,
I was drunk but right,

May I interest you in some,
One legged bowl,

Greek tragedy is when everyone gets permanently cancelled, dies, because they did something problematic, against the gods,

Netflix, pwese stop shawing your passwowds becawse it’s making us wose a biwwion dowwars, pwese ignowe ouw existing hundweds of biwwions of dowwars of pwofits because we alweady haf dat money so it doesn’t count,

Good afternoon ladies and entities, regrettably, I am feeling,

Let us mourn her with a traditional ballad,
Britney spears, toxic plays,

Someone, wow you’re so easy to talk to, I feel like our personalities fit so well together,
Me, thanks I made this one special just for you,

Pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive,
Just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry,
Sloth and pride make bottoming,

What does it mean when someone says they’re pescatarian and vegan,
Land animals are innocent of crime but the fish have sinned,

To me, the difference between us is pretty obvious,
She thinks the opposite of fire is water, and I think the opposite of fire is no fire,
Mary-kate Olsen,
On being mistaken for her twin sister,
Emotionally I’m in a crisis because I don’t know which one I believe is more truthful, this is like coming across the 2 faced god who asks you which face is lying,

I hope I get reborn as a duck who lives at Disney world and gets to eat potato chips that tourists paid $11.99 for,

The rats have unionized,

Man, the only animal to ride the horse,
Well that’s just a man with feathers,
Behold a man,
Diogenes strikes again,

That’s a keeper for the wedding album,
This would be the cover of my thank you for attending cards,

Why is this goat so pretty, it’s like a fairy, what kind of goat is this,
It’s called a gulabi, and if you want your heart broken, the adults look like this,

Wonder who the culprit is,
Oh my god, a bread boy,
A crime of passion,

What the frick is this guy doing next to me on his computer,
Don’t talk to me or my son ever,
This is a video production course,

Shout out to the my little pony fan site I found in 2006 that had, among other things, a photo of a dramatized j f k assassination,
All the ponies could remember where they were on this day,

Himalayan marmots come for their regular feed by a caring lady, aww,
Blessed image,

Here’s a tip,
Carry a fork with you, if someone tries to rob you, pull the fork out of your pocket and say, thank you lord for this meal I’m about to have, and charge at them with the fork,

The beach boys were right, it would be nice,

Brings plastic knife to a gang fight,

Homosexuals please help me, I think my hamsters are gay, how do I let them know it’s okay,
The only true ally,

Bro, I love you so much bro,
High five,
Fist bump,
Chest bump,
Tender caress,

Broke, using makeup to look more attractive,
Woke, dorian electra uses makeup to become a genderless clown,

Just found out my dad’s g f soaks raisins in water before eating them and I’ve never been more disgusted that I let someone in my house,
Grape necromancy,
They did necromancy on a grape,

Koalemos,
In Greek mythology, koalemos is the god of stupidity used in the sense, stupid person,
Guys I found my godly parent,

Today I learned we don’t need to drink less soda, according to research funded by coca cola,
We don’t need to use less fossil fuels, according to big oil corporations,

My sister and my dog are the only valid members of my family, the Roomba is valid too, I guess, but it’s on think fricking ice,
What did the Roomba do,
Tried to eat my fricking sock,

You know I just found out that the whole quote is, rome wasn’t built in a day, but it burned in one, and I like that a lot better,

All you files are exactly where you left them,
I mean, I’m not calling you a liar windows, but that sounds like something someone who’d fricked about with my files would say,

When we told all the harry potter people to read a different book they all just went and watched marvel movies I think,

I stumbled across this in a remote part of the lake and I really loved the surreality of it,
Rate my melee set up,

Should I refer to you as mike or killer mike,
Uh, bernie is fine,

Uh oh sister, chainsaw revving noise,

Everyone wants to be a beast,
Until it is time to do what real beasts do,
Crap on the ground,

Witch tip 154,
Wearing a peach pit around your neck will ward off evil,
Bad witch tip, several peach pits and a slingshot will ward off everything else,
Worse witch tip, a few peach pits correctly distilled will produce cyanide, which should sort yer problems out nicely,
Chaotic good, chaotic neutral, chaotic evil,

Me, hates myself,
Aphrodite, kicks down door, grabs me by my shirt collar, pulls me in real close and whispers,
Stop that,

It’s fun to chant bloody mary into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up,
Being a dong even to demons,

Tenderness rolls over,
I nearly scrolled past this like a fool,

This is ratatouille,
Oh my god,
What did you do to him,

If I die young, bury me in joffin,
Lay me down on a bed of joses,
Sink me in the river at jawn,

Put up a bird feeder on the window hoping to do some up close bird watching,
Birds right activist, pro bird rights,
Dear squirrel, is it called squirrel feeder, no, bye,