Not to be sexist but it’s really hard to tell that’s female armor for me,
It’s armor, on a woman, it doesn’t have to look feminine,
It’s armor, on a woman, it doesn’t have to look feminine,
If i ever don’t reblog this, it’s because i’m dead,
Game devs take note,
What a weird impulse, why would you need it to look feminine, or masculine, it’s armor to protect your body from death, not dying should be gender neutral,
Not dying should be gender neutral,

You ever wonder how many people you’re in the, we’re friends but i would kiss you if you asked, club with,

My dog destroyed her toy cactus, and there was another sad cactus inside,
This company understands dogs,

So, my ipod does this fricking genius factory thing where it forgets which artwork goes with which album and it makes guesses, because it’s pretty sure i won’t notice,
Needless to say, i noticed,

Minecraft animals are peak aestheticism, nothing has ever filled me with such simple yet total delight,

Write, trollololol, on the whiteboard, when the teacher asks who did it, hold a troll face in front of your face and say, problem,
The teacher is now legally allowed, even obligated in some states to kill you,

I’m home alone with the T V repair man,
I’m no fool, there is only two possible outcomes of this scenario,
Porn or muder,
Apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves,

When you’re a penny short and the cashier doesn’t let you off,
I was threatened,

What do you mean we can’t chill,
I did my eyebrows for you,

My uncle forgot to roll up the window to his truck, and we found this little guy inside,
He hates you,
He hates everything,
But especially you,
That owl is almost entirely head, head and hatred,
It’s so cute,
Head and hatred,
This is what you get for not making meh dang sandwich, you dang hooman,

Who is she,

It’s 1 a m and i googled, spongedog, because i was thinking about spongebob and dogs at the same time and i have never been this satisfied in my life,

Rachel split up with Tom because she could not cope with his alter ego, spot, I didn’t understand it, i didn’t want to understand it, she says, although remains his friend,
Rachel has seen some crap,

Sir, sir, if you con, sir if you continue to raise your voice i’m going to have to ask you to leave sir,

There’s someone alive on this planet right now who has more hours in skyrim than anyone else currently alive, and they don’t even know it, they’re just living their best life, a god among sheep, oblivious to their role in the universe,

Well fellas, it’s leap year, you know what that means, frog,

My best friend being excited about something,
Me being excited about their excitement,
This but with any friend,

Thinking about how often romance/the love of a woman is used as a shortcut to redeem evil male characters rather than writing a believable redemption arc where the character actually makes amends for what he has done,
Why write a redemption arc if you can just throw some forgiveness pussy at it,

I’m on medication that can make me spacey a f, which can be a problem when i’m driving, like yesterday, for example, when my best friend was trying to help me avoid a pothole,
He said, to the left, and i just mumbled, take it back now y’all, and hit the pothole straight on,
Literally crying,
This is my favorite post on this website,

Owning a salamander has made me truly understand the idea that some stupid animals are non extinct solely because their prey somehow beat them in the dumbass department,
Me staring at my half braincelled salamander consistently missing the worm i put right in front of him and the no braincelled worm, who has a decent chance of escaping, crawling closer and literally onto my worm eating salamander,

I played sharpay in my school’s production of high school musical, i’m a 6 foot tall guy, and i shared the part with this girl who looked nothing like sharpay either, instead of having one of us play sharpay the first night and the other one play it the following night, the first person would run off in the middle of a scene and the other one of us would run on the stage and finish the scene, also, all the costumes were only in her size,

Gonna b honest, a lot of hot people go to art museums, i’m one of them,
I’m 2 ugly they won’t let me in,
That and my shirt says, i eat oil paintings when security guards aren’t looking,

I saw a really cool butterfly expert man on P B S and was so in awe of him and his butterfly knowledge i tracked down the episode online to see how to spell his name and found his twitter and followed him, only for the next day to awaken to him having read not only my webcomic, but also my live tweets saying how I wanted to marry the butterfly man, he said he was flattered, anyway the moral of the story is please don’t underestimate how far down your twitter a bored entomologist will scroll, and also the internet was a mistake,

Okay, class, today we’ll be dissecting a banana,
We only have two so get into groups of 13,
Public education,

Activated charcoal fish and chips,
Black craps on some tubby custard,
Bro where are the chips,

Capitalizing every word in a sentence is vomit inducing,
Enjoy your trip to puke land, boy,
This is a strong contender for my favorite exchange i’ve ever seen on the internet,

That’s not how this works,
That’s not how any of this works,
An orchestra of 120 players takes 40 minutes to play Beethoven’s 9th symphony, how long would it take for 60 players to play the symphony,
Let p be number of players and t the time playing,
4800 platers, beethoven’s 9th symphony speedrun,
It’s not even music anymore, it's just a shockwave that kills you instantly,

It’s not for women,
I take a sip of this and Dr. Pepper himself drops down from the ceiling and breaks my neck,
I found out i was trans when i tried to drink this and my hand clipped through it,

Some of you know this already but the absolute worst thing to ever happen to me was when a boy threw a cat on me and i tried to catch it and my thumb went up its butthole,

Its quiet in class and i fricking burst out laughing in the middle of class because of this fricking post i hate you goodbye,

Reblog if you’re an idiot, reblog if you’re just a fricking fool,

I love how great white sharks are terrifying until you get them at that one angle and then they’re just,
Potato,

Betty white, turns 98 today,
Meanwhile at betty white’s house,
Death, slowly cracks open door, hello betty,
Betty white, cocks shotgun, hello,
Death, slowly closing door, just saying hi,
Betty white, aims shotgun, as always,

I just realized that, never, is a contraction of, not ever,
And, blush, is a contraction of, blood rush,
Also, studying, is a contraction of, student dying,
You’re goddang right,

Nobody,
Bathrooms in dreams,

When you can’t afford quality name brand memes so you have to settle for,
Peep the toad,

My three emotions,

No, there is no F B I agent monitoring my online activity,
I’m canadian, the american spy watching my every move is C I A, not F B I,
I’m pretty sure that even in the U S A, all these F B I jokes are really hurtful to the N S A agents who are actually watching us,

Hey, it’s gonna be okay,
It’s gonna be okay,
I really needed this today, so for anyone else who might,
Thanks I needed this also, i’ll pass it on,
Just the rock blessing your feed,
Thanks, Mr. The Rock,

The, i have a little sister, starter pack,
What the frick does this mean,
I’m a little sister and this scares me what is this,

Hm, didn’t want to see this,

You can’t even understand how many years i have waited for a picture like this you really can’t fricking understand,
Kiwis are always relevant on my blog,

Emmanuel missionary baptist church,
Remember satan was the first to demand equal rights,
I hate living in texas,
Can’t tell if this is anti equal rights or pro satan,
Pro satan

So, like, a horror game where the only light in the entire game is from the protagonist's light up sneakers,

Just had the weirdest fast food interaction i think i’ve ever had,
I ordered a bacon egg and cheese biscuit and when i sat down and opened it there was just an entire chicken sandwich with egg and cheese added inside of it so i brought it back and was like hey sorry but can i get like, a normal sandwich, and the lady says to me, you can at least try it,

A zebra is just a horse that thinks it’s special,

Private schools bathroom,
Public schools bathroom,

One day hozier is gonna cover hallelujah and by god it’ll kill me but what a way to go,

If i saw a ring of mushrooms i would simply hop in it and chug the first beverage i see,
Rip to people who don’t want to be wed to the fairy queen but i’m different,

You’re a horse in the wild west and you see a cowboy take off his hat for the first time and you have a panic attack because you thought it was a part of their heads,

Nooo don’t express serious emotions you’ve been designated, the funny one, aha,
Nooo don’t exist in a way that contradicts the one dimensional version of you i’ve created in my head you’re so convenient aha,

A saint louis scientist has discovered that we shall all be crazy by the year 2016, this, alas, is not the worst of it, we shall also be dead,
Source, the ottawa evening herald, january 27, 1902,
Well he wasn’t wrong,

Opens photobooth to take a selfie,
Maybe some other time,

Want a break from the ads,
Suck my fat fricking cock,
Well thats a better deal than paying monthly, sign me the frick up,

Babe, your behavior was, not iconic, we have no choice but to cancel you, to death, babe,

If a rat tried to give me a disease with a very high mortality rate i would simply say no thank you,
R I P to 30 to 50 percent of europe but i’m different,

Hey yo,
Be nice to people,
Because most people are already sad so like,
Why be mean,

Is your video game good,
Does it have a fishing minigame,
Yes, no,
Your game is good, it’s crap,

Elmo love arson,
Gay rights,
Me in ms paint realizing i can really draw anything,
Wow i could really draw anything,

Master has given dobby a prostate orgasm,
Really wish i was jared, 19 right now,

Hides under blanket for entire day, oh wow where did all the time go,

This years prom theme is, opens envelope, great lakes invasive species and what boaters can do to stop them,
And the subject of tonights ecology panel is, turns on powerpoint, enchantment under the sea,

Today i learned beetles are the most diverse order of life on our planet and have been around since the days of pangaea,
Doesn’t matter their music still sucks,

Today i learned in 1985, a coca cola employee was fired for being engaged to a pepsi employee,
Do you think love can bloom even on a battlefield,
Two houses both alike in dignity,