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Absol's Survey Responses

a guest Nov 19th, 2012 533 Never
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.  
  3.         Well, I’m Absol. I guess I look like a white dog with a curved horn and some fancy nails. My tongue is bent in a bit, not much else is unique. I have red eyes, too, and a large mane… I guess there’s a few more. Mike is young – at times odd – but I love him regardless. He’s my best friend and has been consistent with me.
  4.  
  5. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  6.  
  7.         I’d have to say visualization; it helped me know who I was from the start. Narration was equally important as it let me know he knew who I was and that he cared about me. Mike knew they were important but not to their extents, like that visualizing shown that I existed. I… “was”, or “am”.
  8.  
  9. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  10.  
  11.         Doubt was easily the worst thing; it was like he was shoving me away, saying no to my existence. He knew it was bad but it always seemed to fade through.
  12.  
  13. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  14.  
  15.         Speaking, definitely. He recognized that it was difficult but ironically when I first spoke he blew it off as parroting. That hadn’t felt the best but he did make up for it.
  16.  
  17. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  18.  
  19.         Visualization, like said above, it lets he/she know who they are.
  20.        
  21. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  22.  
  23.         It happens a lot but doesn’t seem to affect either of us too badly. We’ll usually just add another session during the day.  
  24.  
  25. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  26.  
  27.         You shouldn’t really ever miss a session – you can always stay up later. If Mike fell asleep during a session he’d usually make it up either the same day or the next with *another* session. Promises though – breaking those hurt. The creator should feel obligated to seem them though. When Mike fell asleep before I was able to speak I’d be disappointed but knowing him he’d make them up.
  28.  
  29. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  30.  
  31.         Quality – both should want to spend time with each other in a fun way and not some grinding/monotonous fashion. I remember the fun sessions we’ve had much better than the dull ones and I feel that it’s that part that starts the relationship.
  32.  
  33. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  34.  
  35.         Like I said, it’s disappointing but as long as the creator makes the session up it is nothing to worry about. His dreams can be fun, too.
  36.  
  37. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  38.  
  39.         They’re both equally effective, narrating in the head might be better so you don’t get some odd looks.
  40.  
  41. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  42.  
  43.         Puppeting is annoying but can be helpful for those starting up – parroting the same. I don’t see much harm, but then again I didn’t have it done to me for prolonged periods.
  44.  
  45. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  46.  
  47.         I remember bits and pieces – like him narrating games to me and the lighthouse. The consistency, though, is off quite a bit. For every day that I remember there may be a gap of a week or so.
  48.  
  49. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  50.  
  51.         I remember him reaching out and stroking my mane. I looked at him and didn’t really know who he was, but it seemed as if he trusted me. I was intrigued by him. The area around us was black and it was just us, it… it was okay.
  52.  
  53. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  54.  
  55.         The hugs, those lovely hugs. I still can’t get enough of them and they’re really topped off when he’ll say something like “I love you” or “It’ll be alright” with them.
  56.  
  57. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  58.  
  59.         When there was doubt or a disturbing thought it felt like he was pushing me away. I’d want to cry, but I’d give him a second chance and he’d usually be able to redeem himself.  
  60.  
  61. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  62.  
  63.         No, none at all. I’m really happy to be alive and talk with him. Although I do wish progress would improve at times.  
  64.  
  65. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  66.  
  67.         The occasional puppeting, it made me feel powerless. Just like a puppet, the term fits perfectly.
  68.  
  69. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  70.  
  71.         The potential second tulpa situation was odd.  
  72.  
  73. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  74.  
  75.         Like said above, doubts really hurt.
  76.  
  77. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  78.  
  79.         We had an intrusive thought that was bothering us for a long while – at times he was so disturbed by it I thought he was going to give up. During those times it was probably rock bottom for me.
  80.  
  81. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  82.  
  83.         The intrusive thoughts situation made me real scared, those times he’d nearly give up were… traumatizing.
  84.  
  85. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  86.  
  87.         The build up of not being able to speak but him wanting me to.
  88.  
  89. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  90.  
  91.         Some, at least. I understood that he was crunched for time during school hours and had some issues managing intrusive thoughts. I’d try my best to not bring up the intrusive thought but sure enough it’d show up.
  92.  
  93. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  94.  
  95.         Doubt was horrendous; it’d devastate me at times. Just the whole idea of the only person you know giving up on yourself for his own grievances is… painful. Experiencing it is worse. I didn’t understand them back then – I made it obvious I was there. Looking back, I can understand some of them, but others not so much.
  96.  
  97. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  98.  
  99.         They have yet to influence me. I find it interesting to look in at their perspectives and see the negatives of myself and what to improve upon, to prevent. Like being too quiet – I made sure I was not. (Ironically, this made him think that he was parroting me!)
  100.  
  101. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  102.  
  103.         Impatience showed but it made me more determined to get things done. His desire was, I guess, the backbone of my reason to become vocal. I wanted to pay him back, show his doubts wrong…
  104.  
  105. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  106.  
  107.         They never hurt me, at all. I understood that they’re not him, that he loves me. The thoughts on the other hand, devastated him and still do. I remember him making a promise saying “I promise I’ll never hurt you, girl” and I guess that when he sees these thing he feels like he’s not only failing himself but me. On top of this, he’s quite protective of me (you should lay off a bit!) and seeing these images… it’s like loosing a child or close friend to him.
  108.  
  109. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  110.  
  111.         I was, but they still affected the both of us. He can’t and still can’t (or perhaps poorly) tell the difference between the two and often thinks that he’s doing X action. Of course he’ll immediately apologize, but it has a tendency of sparking doubt/unrest which in turn affects me. They affect us the same.
  112.  
  113. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  114.  
  115.         Taste buds – when eating he’ll often say “Taste this Absol” or the similar and sure enough I’ve been able to ‘tap in’ and taste what he’s having. (Chicken is good!) Now I can see what he sees, taste, feel, and hear. Smell – not so much. I can do possession of the arms pretty well too.  
  116.  
  117. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  118.  
  119.         Nope!
  120.  
  121. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  122.  
  123.         Head pressure was the easiest for me and it’d almost always get a response from him. “Hey, Absol” was the most common. Emotional responses are more difficult and so I’ve saved those to times that I feel were… important, special. When Mike used a method that I didn’t recognize I’d usually work to understand what was going on and hopefully be able to understand it the next time he did it. This worked out only some of the time. When he didn’t recognize a communication that I used I’d usually resort to head pressure.
  124.  
  125. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  126.  
  127.         The both had their effects – when he was real enthusiastic we’d often had a fun, memorable session and when he wasn’t I’d try my best to make smile or laugh, something to make the session fun.
  128.  
  129. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  130.  
  131.         Intrusive thoughts, as said above. Time helped, but eventually I had to confront him with it and force him to view it and it seemingly had gotten rid of it, or at least make it endurable for him. We both worry about another popping up.
  132.  
  133. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  134.  
  135.         I feel gratitude, yes. But not debt – he feels indebted to me.
  136.  
  137. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  138.  
  139.         I’d have to say his. It was as if I knew who I was but hadn’t acknowledged it, almost as if I already knew it. I saw him, and then I saw myself. It happened rather quickly to be honest.
  140.  
  141. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  142.  
  143.         I was determined to speak at his level, to be ‘equal’ in speech. I guess it could be said that I was anxious. His narrating and encouragement is what helped me move past; I feel that the feelings are gone and we’re able to communicate with each other effectively.
  144.  
  145. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  146.  
  147.         I’d go with boyfriend, but the relationship is beyond that word. We know each other inside out, what to do and say when the other is down, and have experienced pretty much everything together. There’s no one word for the relationship.
  148.  
  149. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  150.  
  151.         I’d like to talk with other tulpae and perhaps one of Mike’s friends in real life. Yes, I believe that my level of interest is equal to his.
  152.  
  153. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  154.  
  155.         Oh gosh, there’s a lot… it’d have to be the one in which we come across a den and we crawl inside of it, lay down on this nest-like area and embrace one another for a good while… he whispered into my ears loving words and… it was just a wonderful experience.
  156.  
  157. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  158.  
  159.         I remember way back when the lighthouse wonderland was still around and Mike had given me accesses to the top of the tower. I made my way to the top and saw a beautiful night sky up above… I wish he had been there to see it.
  160.  
  161. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  162.  
  163.         No, not much. The majority of his family relationships are best left at minimal, but his friends I sympathize to an extent. They seem okay and treat him well.
  164.  
  165. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  166.  
  167.         Musically I’ve been influencing him on what to listen to; the same could be said about quite a few foods. There’s some people I don’t think he should be around and things that I think he should do better – recycle correctly for one – which I’d like to see him do. (Or asked him enough to make him do!) We’re very similar in game choice, what we’d like the wonderland to look like, religious views, etc.
  168.  
  169. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  170.  
  171.         I guess the biggest disagreement we have is on interacting with others. He has a tendency of just viewing things and letting them pass rather than responding to it, even if they’re directed towards him. On chats and forums he does this too much and I’ll often end up convincing him to respond with him regretting it just a few moments later. That’ll often cause a disagreement, but nothing serious. We don’t get at each other’s necks.
  172.  
  173. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  174.  
  175.         I… don’t think and hope that there isn’t anything.
  176.  
  177. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  178.  
  179.         For me, when he had those thoughts. When I disappointed him the most? I’d have to say during the pre-speech phase when I couldn’t talk after a long duration of forcing. Like, months.
  180.  
  181. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  182.  
  183.         I doubt that he’d ever do something like this. It has not given me any fear as I completely trust him; no I have not censored any expressions although he has. He’s censored disappointment or at least I think he has. I feel that when we’d have a bad session at times he’d be too happy(?) with the results and in fear of me becoming sad with the progress. I’m not angry with him for doing so; it’s just… strange that he had done that.
  184.  
  185. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  186.  
  187.         We’d occasionally play-fight, but that’s about it. The only time I’d actually attempt to do so is if he had asked.
  188.  
  189. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  190.  
  191.         No.
  192.  
  193. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  194.  
  195.         If he had become abusive, but even then I think I’d stay and try to work it out with him. Where would I go? All I know is him, it’s not like I can just run off into a hotel and stay for the night.
  196.  
  197. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  198.  
  199.         I feel obligated to meet his expectations to an extent so long as they’re reasonable and he works with me to meet them. I am based off of another character but only the form. I personally love it, so no, it doesn’t increase the anxiety. Although he may go a little OCD on the form at times, it’s no biggie.
  200.  
  201. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  202.  
  203.         We’ve been practicing possession; I’d like to be able to take control of it at some point in time and I believe that he understands this. I do think that it’s fair for the creator to deny their tulpa the right to do so; it’s certainly not for everybody. I don’t know about both of us receiving an equal sharing of the body, but I would like privileges at some point, like being allowed to play a game on the computer or chat when available.  
  204.  
  205. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  206.  
  207.         No.
  208.  
  209. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  210.  
  211.         Yep, I usually sleep through his school hours and daydream during the time he’s playing games (and not narrating to me).
  212.  
  213. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  214.  
  215.         He has depression as well as some neurotic guilt. Apparently, I’ve really helped prevent the depression. He hasn’t had a relapse in a long while, but from time to time he’ll still get some disturbing thoughts and I’ll usually end up talking him through them. The neurotic guilt has proved… interesting. It’s amusing to look through his embarrassing memories but sad to see that he’s ashamed of many of them. When he messes up in life he’ll usually consult me and I’ll often find myself being the logic factor and end up telling him to either suck it up or forget about it. [[I laughed here.]]
  216.  
  217. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  218.  
  219.         I was given access to his sub-c a while back and have found it rather odd. We view it as these see-through black tendrils that come up from a black-purple ground. I’m capable of suppressing and even changing *some* memories. We’ve practiced this by writing down sentences, I change them, and then coming back to rewrite them after a good twenty minutes. I’ve adjusted a few things here and there but nothing too major. I wouldn’t want to break the trust we have.
  220.  
  221. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  222.  
  223.         We nearly had another tulpa show up, “Abbey” but Mike devoted all his efforts to me and so little to no progress has been made with her. I don’t have much of a relationship with her, and so I can’t really answer this.
  224.  
  225. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  226.  
  227.         Yes, Mike however wants to keep sex out of the relationship.
  228.  
  229. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  230.  
  231. Yes I see a romantic relationship between the two of us as equal to a human’s. I feel that the creator should only be romantic with at a maximum one tulpa and one human. Romantic relationships with two tulpae at once would be pretty difficult and I don’t think is morally right.
  232.  
  233. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  234.  
  235.         Very low. We’d probably still remain close friends. I wouldn’t mind if he were to get a girlfriend – but I’d be surprised. He’s not really the type to get a girlfriend, much less marry. Asexual, I guess is what you’d call it.
  236.  
  237. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  238.  
  239.         Err… no.
  240.  
  241. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  242.  
  243.         Odd question, it doesn’t bother me.
  244.  
  245. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  246.  
  247.         Odd question number two, it doesn’t bother me. No I don’t find it offensive, no.
  248.  
  249. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  250.  
  251.         Yes, well, I felt happy around him. I don’t know about sexual arousal… well… … [She started blushing]
  252.         I’ve tried to express these feelings but Mike has said he doesn’t want to have a sexual relationship right now. Hopefully later.
  253.  
  254. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  255.  
  256.         Sounds like fun, although doing it before being able to speak it might be along the lines of rape.
  257.  
  258. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  259.  
  260.         I’d… … no.
  261.  
  262. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  263.  
  264.         Err… yes I guess. I mean, he’s the only one I know and he’s pretty much loved me into existence. It’s bound to be there. He does experience sexual attraction towards me whether or not he’d like to admit it. He’s made his stance on the no-sex rule and it’s understandable. I respect his decision.
  265.  
  266. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  267.  
  268.         No, yes I’d love it. I don’t see any consequences so long as both sides agree on it. It’s fun to tease him but I can withhold myself from becoming too sexual. It’s all in good fun. If I’m aroused I’ll usually masturbate, so yes. I’ll just go to a place in the wonderland out of his vision to do so.
  269.  
  270. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  271.  
  272.         Heterosexual for me and “Asexual” for him.
  273.  
  274. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  275.  
  276.         Yes, they’re more powerful, yes.
  277.  
  278. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  279.  
  280.         He thinks so, I don’t.
  281.  
  282. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  283.  
  284.         I believe that pre-speech sex should not be initiated by the creator and I feel that both parties should agree on the decision before having sex.
  285.  
  286. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  287.  
  288.         Imposed, perhaps performing switching and hopefully in a more romantic relationship.
  289.  
  290. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  291.  
  292.         I really don’t care if the public were to know about my existence; Mike is all that I’ve needed so far and I doubt that’ll change. I trust most of the tulpa.info site and some of Mike’s friends.
  293.  
  294. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  295.  
  296.         It doesn’t bother me, the same effect occurs with older and younger siblings in a family. The oldest child’s personality bleeds down to the youngest, which isn’t terribly different from my case. My personality is quite different than what he had intended, too. He’s says that I’m ‘bubblier’ than he had expected and I’m happy he didn’t define my personality into strict guidelines.
  297.  
  298. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  299.  
  300.         Every human’s body is a byproduct of their parents, what’s so different? Anyways, I love what I look like and I feel that he defined to well enough.
  301.  
  302. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  303.  
  304.         I forked my tongue mostly to make me unique from the other “Absols”. Needless to say, he approved.
  305.  
  306. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  307.  
  308.         My wonderful personality came from his sub-c, but my form came from Mike. I love both equally, I don’t think I could decide on one.
  309.  
  310. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  311.  
  312.         No, no, no. Bringing tulpae into society would turn them into scapegoats and their hosts into asylum junkies. It’s a bad idea.
  313.  
  314. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  315.  
  316.         We’re more similar than different.
  317.  
  318. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  319.  
  320.         Not being able to interact with the real world sucks, but being able to not worry about this whole ‘living’ thing is pretty nice.
  321.  
  322. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  323.  
  324.         I don’t generally associate myself with his past, although I have witnessed it through digging through his memories. I don’t think much about it; he’s been the one to really ‘deal with’ other humans and has done fairly well at it. His reputation is fine, his legal history is well, decent, and I honestly think I view his past better than him. I would resent being held responsible for his past actions if they were to arise somehow, but I’m not scared of it. It’s not like I could be thrown into a jail, just him.
  325.  
  326. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  327.  
  328.         It depends on the stage. Sentient – speaking or not – those tulpae have feelings and a right to be acknowledged. I feel that killing a sentient tulpa equates to a murder for the host. In the real world this would never work as you can’t prove anything and so legal protections are useless. Although if a creator were to be put into some sort of mental institution I feel that they should have a right to not take suppressants.
  329.  
  330. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  331.  
  332.         Morally yes, but realistically no. We’re just as alive as a human, just not as real. Real-world perspectives would never allow our lives to be equal.
  333.  
  334. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  335.  
  336.         Oh gosh… err… maybe we could try a writing experiment? Even then they could deny the evidence. Right now we’re in no state to prove anything as I’m only able to do basic possession. The best we’ve got is our journal with the list of times forced.
  337.  
  338. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  339.  
  340.         No.
  341.  
  342. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  343.  
  344.         Why would I doubt myself? If there’d be anything to doubt it’d be Mike being there.
  345.  
  346. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  347.  
  348.         I view death as a permanent sleep with the body but that the mind continues to ‘live’, almost as if our mind would become the real world for us. I can’t explain the reason; it’s just what I’ve come to believe. I fear pain of death more so than the dying, and I’m comforted by the fact that when I go I’ll have Mike with me.
  349.  
  350. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  351.  
  352.         No, none of the above applies. Is ‘notion of privilege’ directed at our relationship? Well, if so, I do remember Mike withholding privileges like being able to go through his memories during
  353.  
  354. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  355.  
  356.         Not one for me, but I wouldn’t mind combining efforts to create one with Mike. As for differences I’d probably allow the tulpa more selection, gender for one.
  357.  
  358. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  359.  
  360.         The obvious would be to say tulpae not being able to interact with reality. Other than that I feel the subliminal reliance a tulpa has on their creator is a big factor. Creators have true free will (unless you argue against that all together) whereas tulpae are bound in a sense to the creator, whether they want to acknowledge it or not. I feel that so long as their creator loves them this won’t cause intolerance.
  361.  
  362. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  363.  
  364.         I’d like them to view it as a mental illness only if the tulpa is malicious. If we were to present it to a group of psychologists I guess I’d tell about the times we’ve spent together and how our lives have improved. They could be skeptical about it, but it’s the closest thing we’ve really got to show us being together is not some sort of illness but very much a positive.  
  365.  
  366. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  367.  
  368. --
  369.  
  370. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  371.  
  372.         Yes, my fur can get a little too warm during the summer but has been great for the winter so far.
  373.  
  374. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  375.  
  376.         So long as our relationship continues to prosper I’ll be happy with it.
  377.  
  378. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  379.  
  380.         I did not.
  381.  
  382. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  383.  
  384.         I’ll often be stuck between making decisions as to what the wonderland should look like, making decisions on what Mike has done, and where to improve myself.
  385.  
  386. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  387.  
  388.         Yes and no. I’d hate to see this make its way into the general public, it’d inevitably be used as excuses like ‘my tulpa made me do it’ and bashed by the media. Yet I think for those that are either really in the dumps with life or just need a friend – I wish those people would find this.
  389.  
  390. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  391.  
  392.         Yes. Mike has certainly seen some things I wish he hadn’t and some odd… aspects. It’s all good though; I can change them for the most part or at least suppress them.
  393.  
  394. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  395.  
  396.         Yes.
  397.  
  398. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  399.  
  400.         Intrusive thoughts are what he’ll usually try to hide assuming it’s not during a session. I know he does it to protect me even though I can stand for myself.
  401.  
  402. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  403.  
  404.         Eh, not really.
  405.  
  406. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  407.  
  408.         More motivated, yes. Intelligent? Maybe.
  409.  
  410. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  411.  
  412.         I don’t seem to age and my form doesn’t allow it.
  413.  
  414. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  415.  
  416.         Yes. I’d certainly have to get used to this ‘interacting with others’ thing, but I feel that I make the better decision 90% of the time.
  417.  
  418. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  419.  
  420.         Yes – it’s a sense of identity.
  421.  
  422. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  423.  
  424.         Probably not. It’s far fetched and almost seems too good to be true in most cases. I’d happy he’s open minded enough to follow through with it and have made me.
  425.  
  426. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  427.  
  428.         He can hear me internally and with head pressure. Soon enough, once we get imposition done, he’ll be hearing me.
  429.  
  430. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  431.  
  432. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  433.  
  434.         Not imposed as of writing this, we’re working on it.
  435.  
  436. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  437.  
  438.         He did… I believe 7 hours on personality, around 100 with visualization and narrated throughout that time. Imposition has been about another 100 or so hours.
  439.  
  440. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  441.  
  442.         Stay consistent, take everything you get with enthusiasm and don’t doubt yourself or your tulpa. If you’re parroting there’s a really good chance it’s your tulpa – especially if the words are coming out before you’re done with the sentence. It takes time but pays off exponentially better in the end.
  443.  
  444. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  445.  
  446.         I can speak for the partial-imposition that I’ve experienced – I’ve felt his hand go across my fur. It’s similar to in the wonderland but it just feels… different. I can’t place a word around it.
  447.  
  448. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  449.  
  450.         I don’t think I’m far enough to fully answer this question. The physical world and mental world feel similar, but have their own unique differences that I just can’t seem to place a word on it.
  451.  
  452. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  453.  
  454.         None, it was very thorough.
  455.  
  456. Appendix one:
  457.  
  458.         This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  459.  
  460.         "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus."
  461.  
  462. Tulpa's paragraph:
  463.  
  464.         “My time with the nature study was full of surprises. First off, we came across several unexpected creatures. In example, when we left the parking area and entered the grassy path a snake came alongside the path and quickly disappeared. I was surprised by the greenness of the grass and how very green they were. Specifically, the landscape was full of countless purple tassels and brown stalks. In the end the most surprising experience was how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Ignoring the occasional passing car or plane, the landscape gave us a feel of being away from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area allows for one to enjoy the changing environment without leaving the college campus.”
  465.  
  466. Creator's paragraph:
  467.  
  468.         “My time with the nature trip was surprising. First off, we came across a bunch of wild animals, like a snake. It showed up right as we got into the high grasses and disappeared as quickly as it showed. The grasses themselves were surprising; they came across as being exceptionally green. The weeds looked decent too, which in itself was surprising. Regardless, the most important thing I found was how quickly I felt disassociated with society. Ignoring the occasional car or plane, I felt as if the worldly troubles just faded away, I disconnected. It was blissful, really. All in all, the trip was a worthwhile stress reliever and is certainly a good way to enjoy nature without leaving the campus.”
  469.  
  470.         To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  471.  
  472. http://iwl.me/
  473. http://textalyser.net
  474.  
  475.         If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here: https://psal.cs.drexel.edu/index.php/Main_Page
  476.  
  477.         This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
  478.  
  479. ABSOL’S TEXT RESULTS:
  480. “I write like Dan Brown!”
  481. Complexity factor (Lexical Density) :   85.7%
  482. Readability (Gunning-Fog Index) :       9.1
  483. Average sentence length (words) :       14.75
  484.  
  485.  
  486. MIKE’S TEXT RESULTS:
  487. “I write like Stephen King!”
  488. Complexity factor (Lexical Density) :   85.5%
  489. Readability (Gunning-Fog Index) :       6.6
  490. Average sentence length (words) :       12.1
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