Ways to speed up your PC, by Steve Ballmer:

Continue spending money on antivirus and antispyware software that doesn’t catch the malware but keeps slowing down your PC. Optionally, use our freeware which reports back lots of your personal information to us. Don’t worry, Windows already sends us most of this anyway and there’s no way to turn it off.

Free up disk space: Windows 7 is only 15 GB larger than Windows XP, but contains an improved disk cleanup that can find megabytes of crap that Windows XP would leave behind!

Use Disk Defrag to bog down your PC for a few hours leaving you playing solitaire, which has been upgraded to 64-bits! Hooray!

Check your disk for errors! NTFS can’t do this on the fly like other file systems can. fsck? What’s that?

Until next time, this is Sweaty B thanking you for spending $230 on Windows Ultimate Edition, see you again in a few years when you have to throw this PC in the garbage to buy one to run Windows 8.

PS: Thanks for not looking into Linux or Mac, only pinko commies use that.