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Feb 12th, 2017
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  1. [2/12/17, 8:33:22 PM] Zack: Hullo.
  2. [2/12/17, 8:35:15 PM] Zack: Wow, self, great job. Went into this thinking, “Hey, look at this friend who you haven’t talked to much in like two years,” then realized I had no follow-up to hello.
  3. [2/12/17, 8:35:18 PM] Zack: Really nailing it
  4. [2/12/17, 8:38:20 PM] Zack: It’s as if I couldn’t get more suave, honestly
  5. [2/12/17, 8:38:33 PM] Zack: Barring my absolutely stellar social skills, how’ve you been, in, like, life?
  6. [2/12/17, 8:39:00 PM] Zack: The sporadic updates I get on your existence come in the form of sporadic viewings of your Snapchat, as sad as that sounds
  7. [2/12/17, 8:39:20 PM] Zack: Thus far I’ve deduced you’re tight with Frizzy Hair, whose name I’ve forgotten
  8. [2/12/17, 8:39:45 PM] Zack: General merriment seems to take down when the two of you are nearby
  9. [2/12/17, 8:40:57 PM] Zack: Have I been misled by the Online? Could it be that, in actuality, it’s a false positive?
  10. [2/12/17, 8:41:03 PM] Zack: Struggles indeed
  11. [2/12/17, 8:41:36 PM] Zack: If you ever wanted like, a lesson on how not to come across as having a few screws loose, maybe don’t subscribe to the Zack philosophy of initiating conversation
  12. [2/12/17, 8:43:56 PM] Zack: School of, rather
  13. [2/12/17, 8:44:06 PM] Zack: Institute of Higher Education?
  14. [2/12/17, 8:44:13 PM] Zack: It’s basically a 4-year course
  15. [2/12/17, 8:44:19 PM] Zack: A 14-year crash course in failure, rather
  16. [2/12/17, 8:44:56 PM] Zack: The one-sided conversation is the current iteration, wherein subscribers of the esteemed philosophy have few qualms with maintaining a conversation entirely with themselves
  17. [2/12/17, 8:45:05 PM] Zack: Granted, hardly a new development, but a peculiar one at that
  18. [2/12/17, 8:46:47 PM] Zack: Did you know that Skype removes messaging history
  19. [2/12/17, 8:47:24 PM] Zack: For a moment there I thought you’d previously subscribed to the same philosophy, though it seems the imaginary friend once-present was actually my former messages
  20. [2/12/17, 8:47:26 PM] Zack: So that’s neat
  21. [2/12/17, 8:47:35 PM] Zack: Glad I could get a firm sense of my former self
  22. [2/12/17, 8:47:45 PM] Zack: Sure used to be quieter, eh?
  23. [2/12/17, 8:48:02 PM] Zack: Damn you, false positive
  24. [2/12/17, 8:48:16 PM] Zack: I know you’re clearly false, yet, try as I might, my fingers have a will of their own
  25. [2/12/17, 8:48:20 PM] Zack: I’m powerless to stop them
  26. [2/12/17, 8:48:26 PM] Zack: And, y’know, too lazy to work on coding
  27. [2/12/17, 8:48:32 PM] Zack: For the project due Wednesday
  28. [2/12/17, 8:48:34 PM] Zack: Yikes.
  29. [2/12/17, 8:48:36 PM] Zack: Go team
  30. [2/12/17, 8:48:52 PM] Zack: I guess what I’m trying to say is that there is nothing that I am trying to say, paradoxically
  31. [2/12/17, 8:49:15 PM] Zack: The last few years have been unassuming and fairly non-turbulent
  32. [2/12/17, 8:49:24 PM] Zack: A few highs, a few lows
  33. [2/12/17, 8:49:30 PM] Zack: Life, generally
  34. [2/12/17, 8:49:49 PM] Zack: The pursuit of knowledge and furthering of education goes on, as does time
  35. [2/12/17, 8:49:57 PM] Zack: Yeah.
  36. [2/12/17, 8:50:29 PM] Zack: This has been a weird weekend for me. Sorry, when you eventually read these messages
  37. [2/12/17, 8:50:39 PM] Zack: Fuck it, man, the stupidity train never stops
  38. [2/12/17, 8:50:55 PM] Zack: The Amiton we all know in love never backs down from a stupid endeavor
  39. [2/12/17, 8:51:40 PM] Zack: AND love, actually, though I
  40. [2/12/17, 8:51:59 PM] Zack: Am sure that the same Amiton is similarly persistent in his romantic conquests
  41. [2/12/17, 8:52:06 PM] Zack: Certain, rather, go self
  42. [2/12/17, 8:52:34 PM] Zack: So how has the 9th grade been?
  43. [2/12/17, 8:52:44 PM] Zack: I don’t believe we’ve spoken a word to each other this entire year, unfortunately
  44. [2/12/17, 8:53:10 PM] Zack: Which is understandable, the desire to stay in touch with former friends wanes over time, not from malice, really, just from...time
  45. [2/12/17, 8:53:12 PM] Zack: Classic time
  46. [2/12/17, 8:53:58 PM] Zack: I feel like if time travel (save forwards) is ever actually a thing, which seems a touch unlikely, it’d just be a huge middle finger to time
  47. [2/12/17, 8:54:16 PM] Zack: Take that, destroyer of worlds
  48. [2/12/17, 8:54:23 PM] Zack: You got nothing on me
  49. [2/12/17, 8:54:33 PM] Zack: How has the 9th grade been?
  50. [2/12/17, 8:54:37 PM] Zack: Lot of introspection
  51. [2/12/17, 8:54:41 PM] Zack: Lot more contrival
  52. [2/12/17, 8:54:43 PM] Zack: Is that a word?
  53. [2/12/17, 8:54:54 PM] Zack: I have become far more contrived in my writing style doesn’t really flow off the tongue
  54. [2/12/17, 8:55:00 PM] Zack: And it really isn’t true
  55. [2/12/17, 8:55:25 PM] Zack: For the most part I’m a lovable...can I say rapscallion?
  56. [2/12/17, 8:55:36 PM] Zack: Holy fuck I love that word, I don’t think I’ve ever written it
  57. [2/12/17, 8:55:39 PM] Zack: “Rapscalion"
  58. [2/12/17, 8:56:05 PM] Zack: Wow, thanks for really coming in clutch, Spotlight. Not even working, can’t look up the true definition of the word
  59. [2/12/17, 8:56:08 PM] Zack: A word I love so dearly
  60. [2/12/17, 8:56:14 PM] Zack: Macs, man, gotta love them
  61. [2/12/17, 8:57:18 PM] Zack: Sigh
  62. [2/12/17, 8:57:38 PM] Zack: See, look at this guy, really straightforward and great at staying on topic
  63. [2/12/17, 8:57:41 PM] Zack: Which is to say, his year
  64. [2/12/17, 8:57:42 PM] Zack: Wow
  65. [2/12/17, 8:57:44 PM] Zack: Full circle
  66. [2/12/17, 8:57:46 PM] Zack: Wonderful
  67. [2/12/17, 8:57:57 PM] Zack: It’s been alright
  68. [2/12/17, 8:58:23 PM] Zack: It has been similar to most other years
  69. [2/12/17, 8:59:04 PM] Zack: In your absence, I grew closer to other people—being social, am I right
  70. [2/12/17, 8:59:15 PM] Zack: It all started...what, 8th grade?
  71. [2/12/17, 8:59:19 PM] Zack: That sounds about right
  72. [2/12/17, 8:59:22 PM] Zack: Look at me, deducing things
  73. [2/12/17, 8:59:25 PM] Zack: Great job, self
  74. [2/12/17, 9:00:14 PM] Zack: Following the Bacons’ (does this mean I have a Bacon number of 1, technically? Wew) departure from India, I became closer with Aroon Das
  75. [2/12/17, 9:00:25 PM] Zack: I now regret having done this, but hey, what’s past is past
  76. [2/12/17, 9:00:47 PM] Zack: On a similar note, Rana Lulla leeched himself into my life and friendship, which he now (unfortunately, at times) possesses
  77. [2/12/17, 9:00:49 PM] Zack: So that’s a thing
  78. [2/12/17, 9:01:14 PM] Zack: Prithvi was a link friend, with you in the center, but we now have a solid friendship of our own (built mostly on memes, in all honesty)
  79. [2/12/17, 9:01:35 PM] Zack: Abhay Singhal, resident of your neighborhood, began attending the American School of Bombay
  80. [2/12/17, 9:01:41 PM] Zack: And I’ve since grown closer to him as well
  81. [2/12/17, 9:02:25 PM] Zack: Former lunch companion Serena Antoniolli similarly became a close friend of mine, along with a still-steady friendship with Jade Cleary
  82. [2/12/17, 9:02:31 PM] Zack: And 8th grade was 8th grade
  83. [2/12/17, 9:02:36 PM] Zack: Good times, bad times
  84. [2/12/17, 9:02:40 PM] Zack: BUDDING ROMANCE
  85. [2/12/17, 9:02:48 PM] Zack: Which has since ended
  86. [2/12/17, 9:02:52 PM] Zack: As of a few months ago
  87. [2/12/17, 9:03:01 PM] Zack: Due to departure from India
  88. [2/12/17, 9:03:25 PM] Zack: Never forget Serena x Zack, 2015~2016
  89. [2/12/17, 9:03:30 PM] Zack: Good job self, again
  90. [2/12/17, 9:03:39 PM] Zack: And mother, for horrible parenting decisions
  91. [2/12/17, 9:03:48 PM] Zack: Who allows their teenage son to sleep over at a girl’s house, man
  92. [2/12/17, 9:03:54 PM] Zack: Multiple times
  93. [2/12/17, 9:04:26 PM] Zack: Really, really bad parenting choice, if you’re intending to keep your son a good Christian child (in spite of his Judaism...I dunno if “good Jewish boy” is really a phrase)
  94. [2/12/17, 9:04:35 PM] Zack: But barring that, 8th grade passed, 9th grade began
  95. [2/12/17, 9:04:42 PM] Zack: Aroon Das was sort of a shitty replacement best friend though
  96. [2/12/17, 9:04:50 PM] Zack: Unlike myself, he lacked any real substantial personality
  97. [2/12/17, 9:04:53 PM] Zack: And was very superficial
  98. [2/12/17, 9:04:58 PM] Zack: Have you heard that he’s rich?
  99. [2/12/17, 9:05:01 PM] Zack: Have you?
  100. [2/12/17, 9:05:11 PM] Zack: Because he is.
  101. [2/12/17, 9:05:14 PM] Zack: He possesses wealth.
  102. [2/12/17, 9:05:20 PM] Zack: Did you get that? No?
  103. [2/12/17, 9:05:23 PM] Zack: Here, he’ll show you
  104. [2/12/17, 9:05:34 PM] Zack: He cared about watches and money and brands and cars and I just...didn't?
  105. [2/12/17, 9:06:15 PM] Zack: Last straw was when I began to feel like my quote-on-quote “secrets” (I switch between quote-on-quote and quote-unquote regularly, I’ve never been sure which to use) or, rather, personal information wasn’t exactly safe
  106. [2/12/17, 9:07:15 PM] Zack: In retrospect, though humorous, after confiding that I’d had a largely bizarre, romantically-charged dream about female classmate Sneha Galani, I was later approached by said classmate with a raised eyebrow
  107. [2/12/17, 9:07:41 PM] Zack: Because, obviously, if a friend tells you that they’ve had an eyebrow raising dream about a female, it’s a great idea to go tell that female
  108. [2/12/17, 9:07:56 PM] Zack: That was the most minor of his offenses, of course, but they sort of escalated from there
  109. [2/12/17, 9:08:17 PM] Zack: Coupled with material obsession and general stick-like personality (because there was none), Aroon bit the dust
  110. [2/12/17, 9:11:21 PM] Zack: So without Aroon, I turned solely to the bearer of my affections for friendship
  111. [2/12/17, 9:11:23 PM] Zack: Who has since left the country
  112. [2/12/17, 9:11:25 PM] Zack: So that’s swell
  113. [2/12/17, 9:11:37 PM] Zack: But not quite the narrative I intended to paint, for I’ve friends
  114. [2/12/17, 9:11:39 PM] Zack: And uh
  115. [2/12/17, 9:11:52 PM] Zack: This is the point when I falter and go, hey, did I really just spend 30 minutes talking to myself
  116. [2/12/17, 9:12:03 PM] Zack: And frankly are these all the messages I have to show for it
  117. [2/12/17, 9:12:14 PM] Zack: AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, WILL IAN EVER REPLY?
  118. [2/12/17, 9:12:22 PM] Zack: Find out next week on the inner machinations of Zack’s mind
  119. [2/12/17, 9:12:24 PM] Zack: Starring me, your host
  120. [2/12/17, 9:12:38 PM] Zack: Ian as the non-present friend with a false positive status
  121. [2/12/17, 9:12:51 PM] Zack: My crippling depression as laugh track fodder
  122. [2/12/17, 9:13:05 PM] Zack: All the ingredients for a perfect, feel-good comedy
  123. [2/12/17, 9:14:02 PM] Zack: Sigh
  124. [2/12/17, 9:14:12 PM] Zack: The struggles I face, that aren’t actually struggles
  125. [2/12/17, 9:14:19 PM] Zack: That wasn’t even a story
  126. [2/12/17, 9:14:29 PM] Zack: That was a jarring, nonsensical narrative with little to no purpose
  127. [2/12/17, 9:14:44 PM] Zack: I feel like the highlight reel was nowhere to be found
  128. [2/12/17, 9:14:52 PM] Zack: Where was the upbeat montage of training clips?
  129. [2/12/17, 9:14:55 PM] Zack: Where, I say!
  130. [2/12/17, 9:15:07 PM] Zack: 9th grade has been pretty solid
  131. [2/12/17, 9:15:12 PM] Zack: Math is weird, I’m doing horribly
  132. [2/12/17, 9:15:17 PM] Zack: So that’s not quite in the highlight reel
  133. [2/12/17, 9:15:28 PM] Zack: Science has been pretty chill, Ms. Newcomb is both the worst and the best
  134. [2/12/17, 9:15:29 PM] Zack: Worst teacher
  135. [2/12/17, 9:15:34 PM] Zack: Best person
  136. [2/12/17, 9:15:41 PM] Zack: If you
  137. [2/12/17, 9:15:55 PM] Zack: Are intelligent, you tend to do well, because otherwise you’re sort of fucked, she explains things horrendously
  138. [2/12/17, 9:15:58 PM] Zack: I’ve been doing alright
  139. [2/12/17, 9:16:01 PM] Zack: My class is neato
  140. [2/12/17, 9:16:05 PM] Zack: English is a joke
  141. [2/12/17, 9:16:12 PM] Zack: Actually the dumbest class, so easy
  142. [2/12/17, 9:16:16 PM] Zack: History, ditto
  143. [2/12/17, 9:16:20 PM] Zack: Coding has been great.
  144. [2/12/17, 9:16:33 PM] Zack: I’ve really enjoyed it, despite these first few weeks of Coding 2 being a little rocky
  145. [2/12/17, 9:16:43 PM] Zack: I go through bouts of creative drought, no idea what I want to make for my project
  146. [2/12/17, 9:16:48 PM] Zack: Which I should have started days ago
  147. [2/12/17, 9:16:50 PM] Zack: And is due in 3
  148. [2/12/17, 9:16:52 PM] Zack: Shit.
  149. [2/12/17, 9:16:59 PM] Zack: But otherwise, great class, great teacher, love it
  150. [2/12/17, 9:17:02 PM] Zack: Uh
  151. [2/12/17, 9:17:06 PM] Zack: PE, holy fuck
  152. [2/12/17, 9:17:09 PM] Zack: What a joke
  153. [2/12/17, 9:17:14 PM] Zack: And yet, my worst grades.
  154. [2/12/17, 9:17:17 PM] Zack: Funny, how that happens
  155. [2/12/17, 9:17:29 PM] Zack: “IT SHOULD BE PASS-FAIL” ~Angered mother, numerous times this year
  156. [2/12/17, 9:17:40 PM] Zack: “CAN I GET YOU OUT OF THAT CLASS ENTIRELY?” ~Same mother, same state of mind
  157. [2/12/17, 9:17:50 PM] Zack: Band is also a joke
  158. [2/12/17, 9:17:55 PM] Zack: Spanish is okay
  159. [2/12/17, 9:18:03 PM] Zack: Not stellar, not horrible either
  160. [2/12/17, 9:18:19 PM] Zack: Is that about it?
  161. [2/12/17, 9:18:24 PM] Zack: Everything is alright
  162. [2/12/17, 9:18:30 PM] Zack: Wrestling continues, though is currently on hiatus
  163. [2/12/17, 9:18:40 PM] Zack: Went to a tournament, participated in a laughable TWO MAN BRACKET
  164. [2/12/17, 9:19:04 PM] Zack: Straight to the finals, which was fairly stress-reducing
  165. [2/12/17, 9:19:05 PM] Zack: Still had a blast outside the tournament, got closer with the whole team
  166. [2/12/17, 9:19:07 PM] Zack: Solid outcome overall
  167. [2/12/17, 9:19:10 PM] Zack: Uh
  168. [2/12/17, 9:19:36 PM] Zack: Games, as usual
  169. [2/12/17, 9:19:38 PM] Zack: Dunno.
  170. [2/12/17, 9:19:46 PM] Zack: Thanks for sticking around, Ian
  171. [2/12/17, 9:20:01 PM] Zack: I know it must’ve been hard for you to stay engaged this whole time, but hey, thanks
  172. [2/12/17, 9:20:03 PM] Zack: Great job
  173. [2/12/17, 9:20:04 PM] Zack: Up top
  174. [2/12/17, 9:20:08 PM] Zack: [•-•]/
  175. [2/12/17, 9:20:15 PM] Zack: Yeah, that’s the spirit!
  176. [2/12/17, 9:20:32 PM] Zack: Alright, I’m off to go exist and probably do my PE thing which was due two days ago
  177. [2/12/17, 9:20:45 PM] Zack: This is what happens when you have tumultuous weekends
  178. [2/12/17, 9:20:48 PM] Zack: What do
  179. [2/12/17, 9:21:17 PM] Zack: Wow, I came in here with the intent of explaining my sudden shift into madness over the course of a few days (hours, really) and neglected to do so entirely
  180. [2/12/17, 9:21:25 PM] Zack: Let’s keep it that way, brain still needs to sort it out
  181. [2/12/17, 9:21:33 PM] Zack: Sick, sign off with melodrama, nailing it
  182. [2/12/17, 9:21:35 PM] Zack: Peace.
  183. [2/12/17, 9:21:37 PM] Zack: Have a good one
  184. [2/12/17, 9:21:39 PM] Zack: Sorry
  185. [2/12/17, 9:21:40 PM] Zack: Yeah.
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