Yoshi. Al Capone. The Joker. No one can defeat the IRS, and I didn’t even name most of their victims. The IRS is like the octopus in The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife, and the government is the Japanese broad. That works really well, holy shit. Anyways, the UECF was ostensibly a non profit, yet it was not designated as such. In order for them to get that delicious tax exemption, everyone’s favorite bureaucrat Johanna Roeshowitz of the IRS visited them to see if they truly deserved that tax exemption. She busted in their doors like the Mythical Ogre, or like the FBI would do to a lolikon, and said: “I made an appointment, but I hope you’re ready for a unforgettable lunch hour.” The man at the desk stood up. Missing brother’s Bar Mitzvah by being in this dump. Not getting home in time unless I go cop speed. He walked over to her. Ma can cover me. Something light, like famous Jewish sports legends. Otto.
“You’re Johanna Roeshowitz, right, man? I fought with one of your tribe in the anime wars,” he said, “of I don’t remember. Dude was named Toledano, you know him?”
“I do not, sir,” she said. Stoner guy. Might get a pizza bagel from him. Shame about missing Ma’s bagels. “And my god, are you high right now?”
“Oy vey, dude, I’m not high,” he said, then contorting his face into a Thalesque grin, “and even if I was, title ‘Vee, aye aye’ applies. That is, of course, why my boss wants to be a non profit, right, dude?”
“You have a good point there,” she said. Idiot. Might be taking the piss, but no one knows with these people. Not funny anyways. “Now, where’s your proof that you are non profit?” His face went back to normal, him thinking. Always got same look on face. Wonder what thinks about. Nothing of value most likely.
“Ah, I know,” he said, “We got a new kine, that should prove that we spend all of our profits on bettering ourselves.” He pointed to a door. “Well, there’s a chair in there you can wait for us, while I go get help, just in case.” She walked to the door he was talking about, opened it, and went in. The room was large and empty, with hospitalsmell perturbing the air, strongliest at two boxes, one yellow and one purple, perfect for practicing your swing, or for hiding out from your in laws. Just in case what. Must be something rehab related. Ironic, he could save others from death but not himself. The man walked in, with a shorter redheaded woman.
“Hey man, this is Carol, she’s temp,” he said, “probably going to go to the top, but this is her first time dealing with the whatever they’re called, man.”
“Hello, Mrs. Roeshowitz, I am pleased to make your acquaintance,” Carol said, “Now, Mr. Nguyen, can you explain the machine to her?”
“Oh, you can just call me Luke, no reason to get formal, man,” Luke said, “anyways, the machine is great, it allows you to create whatever you want, I’ve used it many times for important things, man. Main draw is that it costs half a gigawatt hour every month, man.”
“That is very interesting,” Johanna said. Uses it for weed. Possibly porn. Not Mrs. “Can you give me a demonstration?”
“Oh sure, man,” he said, “But you are going to have to get your own stuff. Go back to your bimmer or whatever it is you drive, and get whatever you want, and we’ll work our magic.”
She did so, and as soon as the pair were sure she had left, Luke produced a half consumed joint from his pocket, and put it in the yellow box. Then, walking over to the machine, he spun it around to the third dash on there. During this process, Carol was not quiet, and said this: “My God, you have a terrible poker face, Luke, but your weed is top tier. That shit makes me feel like I’m on a different planet, and I’ve smoked more than you have, most likely. It’s no small wonder you’re always the first person people see when you enter the door. That aside, I don’t know how you do it, even with the machine.”
“That is very simple,” he said, “The machine can act as an amplifier, of all the qualities of a certain object. This joint, composed of which you and I shared, has already been amplified. It was originally ten percent THC, I think? I haven’t done any tests yet, but I think it might be up to forty percent, which is close to dab numbers.