Reply to Beastie from Boniface

Hi I'm the mod that spoke to your fiance (dragon). I don't feel like I personally have much of a horse in this race but you seem open to dialogue so I'm kind of curious if we can get something productive going. I'll be responding to your points one at a time. Some of the responses will be short because I don't want to increase the scope of this discussion so much that it becomes impossible to have a dialogue that is not too time consuming.

1) My goal with our discussion was to try to get him to get off his high horse. If he was merely trying to talk to me his attitude would have been fine but I know from experience Shibby does not like people who make demands or people who have a poor attitude and perhaps even worse people who threaten to have her server banned if they don't get their way. I was trying to get him to realise that he would have a much better chance to have a proper conversation with Shibby if he just acted like a normal person. As far as it being my responsibility to take things to dms, the thing is that when someone just pops into the server and starts breaking rules as far as I can tell they might just be a troll. I was trying to get him to give me some information so I could assess the veracity of his claims. Refusing to talk to a mod about an issue you have on the server and demanding to speak to Shibby is not something that goes well on our server, specially with bad manners and threats mixed in.

2) I implied he was trying to control me, as he was telling me what my job is and not obeying my demands as a moderator.

3) Quit with the neurotypical spiel while you're ahead please.

4) Telling him to DM Shibby is one of the first things I did. And being sarcastic at someone giving threats is actually quite generous. Most people would probably have kicked or banned him. I was quite patient all things considered, a bit of sarcasm here and there is hardly a crime.

5) During this whole thing I don't think Shibby has ever claimed to be living in Colorado. The proof she uses are in screenshot albums on imgur and I don't think any of them use a claim of being a resident of Colorado.

6) If he wanted to inform us he would have done so when he was requested to give his information multiple times.

7) No one is owed a conversation with Shibby. She happens to be quite open and talks to most people who address her with common human decency but if someone lacks that that's not her fault. And the idea that he was blackmailing didn't come from him offering help it came from him threatening to get the server banned if he got banned.

8) I consider every member of our discord unique. Many of them are not "neurotypical" (if that is the term you want to shield yourself with) and none of them are rude or make threats.

9) "if I am banned I will get this server banned" would be considered a threat to most people. To this day we still don't know if your fiance has ANY valid information or is able to offer ANY help to us because he has refused to follow through with his claims repeatedly.

10) You say he wanted to speak in private but he didn't. He chose to speak in public and when a moderator told him Shibby prefers DM's he refused to contact her in DMs. If he had serious concern for safety he would have listened to me as a moderator.

11) I haven't heard a complaint from the members and if there was a complaint I would hear them out and try to work something through. I am a very patient man.

12) You say he is protecting people but we don't know how he is different from an internet troll. He hasn't proven to us that he has good intentions yet.

13) I really don't care about this claim of Kinkshaming. I don't have allegiance to the BDSM community as a whole. I'm not a moderator of the BDSM community I am a moderator of Shibby's discord only.

14) You say "it wasn't a secret" but getting this information out of him was like pulling teeth and it only came out thanks to me (you're welcome)

15) He claimed to have proof of underage individuals on the server. I asked him to give me this information so I can ban these individuals and he refused, prefering to give threats of getting the server banned instead. I would consider this blackmail and "having things on you"

16) I gave him plenty of opportunities to give us his advice and he refused multiple times.

17) This is a problem that your server has as well. There are many ways to cheat your verification system. And the fact that your verification system includes a request for sexy pictures from individuals whos age is not verified is pretty fucked up. Imagine a minor's parent seeing a request for sexy pictures coming from your fiance.

18) We never attacked him. I was talking to him with the same level of politeness as he was giving to me. In fact I was more polite because I never threatened him and I tried multiple times to give him a chance to speak and I gave him advice on how to talk to Shibby. This is not attacking.

(now addressing the verification issue)
First of all, I have actually looked into verification before. As far as I can tell there is no surefire method of verification. Every method has holes (even yours) If there was a surefire method of verification I would be all for it.

Maybe your fiance thinks he's a genius and he has outsmarted the internet but first of all you can't track who is using a device. When I was underage I didn't have my own computer but I used my older brother's computer. Just because someone from an account verified the account does not guarantee that you don't have an underage person on your server.

Then there's the issue of fake IDs. Do you have staff that can spot fake IDs? From all over the world? What about identifying doctored images? unless you can guarantee that the images are not doctored you can't guarantee that the verification is legit, which itself is not even a guarantee due to the reason I stated above.

Then theres possibly an even bigger loophole which is the credibility of the person doing the verification. If I was a server owner I would not want an individual with a blackmail fetish to be handling people's private information, let alone asking for sexy pictures of people who's age is not verified in the process. If I was a member of your server I would be very afraid because the person in charge of verification has proven that they are not able to hold a basic conversation, according to you don't understand social norms, have a fetish for holding peoples information against them and now has a history of withholding important information reguarding underage members of a NSFW server. If your fiance is withholding information about supposed underage members of our server then how do you know he is not withholding information about underage members on your server? How do you know he's not holding on to information to possibly blackmail people in the future? Your fiance is the achilles heel of his own supposedly "superior" verification system.

If discord themselves want to talk to us about our verification system I'd be glad to talk to them but as far as I'm concerned your fiance is not to be trusted with anyone's personal information let alone verifying people's age if he has a history of withholding such information and let alone asking unverified individuals for sexy pictures.

In conclusion:

BDSM Done Right can't guarantee that there are no underage users on their server and the owner seems to be a creep that has a history of withholding information of underage people on NSFW servers and has a fetish for mishandling people's private information. Join at your own risk.