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AI Funpost (Ratatoskr)

AnonMD Jun 23rd, 2020 481 Never
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  1. You are trapped in a laboratory surrounded by squirrel-girls known as ratatoskrs, and must break free.
  2.  
  3. ====================
  4.  
  5.     "I am the last of my kind! I will not be enslaved by you nut-obsessed overlords anymore!" you shout at the group of fluffy-tailed workers before you.
  6.  
  7. One of them groans. "For the last time, we're not enslaving you! You're an engineer! You work for us."
  8.  
  9.     "I'm an engineer?" You say. " Well, I'll be damned if I'll work for nut nazis."
  10.  
  11.     "We're not nazis!" One of them says, looking offended. "We didn't even exist when they-"
  12.  
  13. You turn from the ratatoskrs, throwing your hard hat to the ground. You are a free agent now, and you will make your own destiny!
  14.  
  15. You find a corner of the room, and begin to think. To be an engineer is to work with tools. To be an engineer is to use your hands. You think with your fingers. You can see all the tools you'll need right here.
  16.  
  17. You decide your best course of action is to attempt to punch through the wall.
  18.  
  19. It's an ambitious plan, and one that will probably get you killed. Or at least arrested for public disturbance again. But what's life without a little danger?
  20.  
  21. You take a deep breath, before standing directly in front of the wall. You picture yourself hitting it. If you can see the wall, you can defeat it.
  22.  
  23. You take a deep breath and step back. You reel your arm in preparation.
  24.  
  25. You throw your arm forward.
  26.  
  27. You feel your fist go right through the wall. It's weird; you can actually feel the fabric of reality tearing as you punch right through it. As if the only thing keeping you with the squirrel girls was yourself.
  28.  
  29.     "W-what?!" you hear from one of the ratatoskrs.
  30.  
  31.     "Is he alright?!" says another.
  32.  
  33.     "I'm more than alright!" you say triumphantly. "I've taken apart more complex machines than this wall. I can get through this!"
  34.  
  35. You walk through the newly created hole in the wall as the squirrel girls look on in a mixture of astonishment and confusion. Mostly the latter.
  36.  
  37.     "What are you going to do now?" one of them asks.
  38.  
  39.     "I am going to warn the world about you furry little terrorists! What the hell is wrong with you? Taking over the world? How? You're less than a hundred in number! And some of you are no bigger than the average middle schooler!"
  40.  
  41.     "We're developing shampoo for fluffy girls!" one of the ratatoskrs says. "The whole taking over the world thing was just a figure of speech at your orientation!"
  42.  
  43. You shake your head. "You're a bunch of silly squirrels. You can't even reach the top shelf without asking one of us to help. Just because you're cute doesn't mean you're not trouble. That's it. I'm... I'm leaving."
  44.  
  45.     "Did... he just call us cute?" one of the ratatoskrs says.
  46.  
  47.     "Yes." The other ratatoskrs agree in unison.
  48.  
  49.  
  50.  
  51. You then walk to the nearest Monstergirl McDonald's, but in a natural chain of events, their ice cream machine is broken. There are some things that not even engineers can fix, this being one of them.
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