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WEAPONVENTURE

Bigwood Jun 2nd, 2016 110 Never
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  1. [16:58:12] <Ramiel> Where we starting, TLdere trying to serve cake and cheer up mad lolis?  Or shortly after?
  2. [16:59:33] <Giantree> Sometime in the middle of the day, deep inside an underground ruin that just happened to be right next to a hot spring this whole time because nobody questions this shit in fantasy settings (seriously just go through the logs, nobody questioned it), you experienced the sensation of "being a tsundere," only with all tsun and no dere, and there was also some taunting by ex-enemy wyvern captains going on.  It wasn't just the crippling loneliness that gave you a reason to leave, but also the appearance of a spooky ghost with a face that looked like the stars of outer space floating eerily in your direction, in creeping silence.  And it was MAD spooky.
  3. [16:59:53] <Giantree> ... And you also threw your weapon into the charm before that point, good work
  4. [17:00:10] <Giantree> Don't worry I'm just recapping rn
  5. [17:00:53] <Giantree> In your pouting fit, while Michelle tossed around threats, you end up back in the inn room which is a perfect place to- oh god damnit raitaki
  6. [17:01:25] <Giantree> Your inn room is fucking TRASHED because Kotta and Michelle just HAD to have a fight in there that involved whirlwinding the whole room and stabbing all the doors and shit.  Okay, I guess you get a replacement room though so it's all fine, that doesn't matter.
  7. [17:01:44] <Raitaki> np
  8. [17:01:57] <Ramiel> Whaaat
  9. [17:02:01] <Giantree> Might've smashed up a few souvenirs or something though
  10. [17:02:03] <Raitaki> you're welcome C|:^ )
  11. [17:02:07] <Giantree> yeah i almost completely forgot that that happened
  12. [17:02:09] <Giantree> but that happened
  13. [17:02:12] * KriBe pouts harder
  14. [17:02:26] <Giantree> Anyway, you end up in A rWAIT
  15. [17:02:29] <Giantree> SCRATCH THAT BETTER IDEA
  16. [17:02:49] <Giantree> TIELLE LETS YOU SHARE HER ROOM BECAUSE SHE'S THE ONLY OTHER ONE YOU EVER TALKED TO
  17. [17:02:51] <KriBe> I get scared a little every time you say that
  18. [17:04:02] <Giantree> But you make it back first, and despite it technically being her room, you can hear her knocking on the other side of the door.  The knocks sound metallic, like somebody is bonking a sword against the door, more than a fist.  "Um, Krissy?  You in there?"
  19. [17:05:49] <KriBe> Krisse sits on the floor, her head turned to one side resting on the little low table, still pouting.  "What"
  20. [17:07:21] <Giantree> TL struggles to turn the knob but eventually pulls it off, and clamors into the room with half-closed eyes, looking drained.  "Um... I'm sorry you're not feeling good...?"  She struggles for words but also looks like she's about to fall over and die any second, making it difficult to gather her thoughts.  "But I'm hungrier than ever.  Wanna go get some cake and talk about it?"
  21. [17:08:44] <Giantree> Even as you emerged from the secret cave entrance, there were tourists crowding around it.  Within days, it's more than clear that the secret ancient ruin will become ANOTHER selling point of the hot spring resort for years to come.  Just like the spaceship rock.  The owners would soon make a ton of money and the whole world economy would go wild, leading to a ~post-war economic miracle~.  And then, by the time of the sequel, the miracle will have worn off.  But everything'll still be pretty cool I guess.
  22. [17:09:09] <KriBe> Not even gonna comment on that
  23. [17:09:16] <Giantree> yeah just wanted to point it out
  24. [17:09:49] <Giantree> i swear i wasn't planning on it being a history of japan quote when i started explaining how people reacted to an ancient underground ruin located next to a popular tourist spot, it just kinda HAPPENED
  25. [17:10:12] <KriBe> "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeh"  she grunts, though not nearly as hostilely as an hour ago.
  26. [17:10:35] <Giantree> "P-Please?  If I go by myself, people will give me weird looks..."
  27. [17:11:57] <Giantree> As if they wouldn't already.  Now that her left arm is basically a robot, she's experimenting with different styles of cloaks to cover it.  Right now she gave up and isn't covering it with anything, but she's fortunate enough to have a decent supply of travel wear that can be used to hide the spooky magical bow that's currently eating her lifeforce, so at least she has that going for her.
  28. [17:12:57] <KriBe> "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeehhhhhhhmmfine"
  29. [17:14:37] <Giantree> "Yay!"  As the redhead attempts to leap for joy, her stomach lets out a terrifying scream, like the tormented moanings of the long-dead recently awakened to roam the earth as rotting flesh-monsters.
  30. [17:14:56] <Giantree> ... Actually it just growls but DAMN is it a noisy one.
  31. [17:15:08] <KriBe> Like growl scream or liter- oh ok
  32. [17:15:23] <KriBe> Cause the latter would be way too spooky
  33. [17:15:39] <Giantree> Don't worry I'm just in a very exaggerative mood today.  'Sides, the ghost in the ruins was spooky enough.
  34. [17:16:02] <Giantree> For bonus spook, I'd like to add that you didn't see it until after moping in the corner for a while, and as soon as you turned around it was just like BOOM, face full of space.
  35. [17:16:09] <Giantree> even i'd piss myself at that
  36. [17:17:03] <KriBe> mumblegrumblegrumble she robotically gets up and just stands there, slouched a bit.
  37. [17:18:26] <Giantree> Anyway, happy that she managed to succeed at not doing something alone - because it's like what is she gonna do, actually ask Krauss out? - Tielle grabs your hand and drags you out with her, armor and all, into the thriving town of Partizania that is currently going nuts because tourists are already finding out that some weirdoes discovered an ancient ruin in the middle of the hot springs, how about that.  And shockingly enough, she actually has the strength to LITERALLY do so because she's not using her human arm to do it, which is something she's still getting used to.
  38. [17:19:27] <Giantree> But somehow or another you make it to a quaint little shop filled with all the objects of a young girl's desire- which is to say desserts, not half-naked men or anything.  But if you so choose you could interpret them as half-naked desserts and probably get a similar kind of arousal from it.
  39. [17:19:38] <Giantree> And by 'similar' I mean 'not similar at all, that's gross'
  40. [17:19:39] <KriBe> I'd be surprised if I wasn't still grumbling
  41. [17:19:59] <KriBe> Hey now, this is a judge-free zone
  42. [17:20:01] <Giantree> even the GM is grumbling
  43. [17:20:19] <KriBe> Judging goes in the other channel
  44. [17:20:22] <Giantree> H E H
  45. [17:21:23] <Giantree> Uncharacteristically, the otherwise-timid archer orders a SHITTON all by herself without even requesting input.  What this leads to is a table full of more desserts than you'd ever seen gathered in one place before, all of which she stares at ominously with inhumanly hungry eyes.
  46. [17:21:55] <KriBe> Hooray sweets.  Yay.  Something like that
  47. [17:21:59] * Flamy|FireAway is now known as Flamy
  48. [17:22:09] * KriBe pokes at a slice in front of her
  49. [17:22:15] <Giantree> "My treat!"  She claps her hands together and smiles, making a CLANG in the process.  Nervously glancing around and hoping nobody heard it, she digs in and starts scarfing them down at an unprecented pace.
  50. [17:22:35] <Giantree> And then finally slows down, blinking in your direction.  "So... what happened?"
  51. [17:23:00] <Giantree> "I-It's not a boy, is it?  Ooh, I'm no good with that sort of thing..."
  52. [17:26:58] <KriBe> She wrinkles her nose at that thought "What?  Eww no, why would you suggest something like that?"
  53. [17:27:40] <Giantree> "Huh?  It's not a boy?  Then..."  She gasps.  "Y-You don't mean it's.... f-f-f-forbidden love?!"
  54. [17:27:57] <Flamy> Amazing.
  55. [17:29:10] <KriBe> She just does the ?-face.  A frustrated ?-face
  56. [17:29:13] <Giantree> "So that's why you and that girl were arguing... I-I never would've imagined you were that close already!"  She flushes red and puts on a DOUSHIOU face.
  57. [17:30:03] <Giantree> "... That's not actually it, is it."
  58. [17:30:47] <KriBe> "I have no idea what you're talking about"  Poke poke poke at the cake, maybe cut a bit off onto the fork finally
  59. [17:32:47] <Giantree> Tielle tilts her head in counter-confusion.  "Then... is it just that time of the month?"  She furrows her brow.  "That can't really be all it is, can it?"
  60. [17:34:53] <KriBe> ". . . what time of month?  I ain't some kind of werewolf you know"  
  61. [17:34:58] <KriBe> Or am I?  She thinks back to what that old blacksmith dude said, hmmmmmmm
  62. [17:35:09] <KriBe> How does that stuff work anyways
  63. [17:35:29] <Giantree> sure doesn't FEEL like anything special, that's for sure
  64. [17:36:37] <Giantree> "Oh, so you're still..." TL wiggles in her seat.  "I-I see, I thought you might've just been a little small for your age..."  Red with embarrassment, she eats another whole cake by herself in one fluid, starved motion.
  65. [17:37:07] <KriBe> Why is Tielle so innocently lewd?
  66. [17:37:33] <Flamy> It's Tielle, what did you think?
  67. [17:37:39] <Giantree> "Wllmph!  Mmf srusf mms nfft all bfft bffd!  Yff jfff nffd t- oh hey."  She swallows the massive bite and raises her arm - the normal one - pointing a very-not-gauntleted finger toward the window.
  68. [17:37:56] <Giantree> "That's the girl you were with earlier, isn't it?"
  69. [17:38:05] * KriBe finally takes a bite or two of delicious cake
  70. [17:40:13] <Giantree> please stop me from saying 'the cake is moist and delicious'
  71. [17:40:16] <Giantree> FUCK too late
  72. [17:40:23] <KriBe> "Hmmph?  Whazzat?"
  73. [17:41:09] <Giantree> Outside the storefront windows, Michelle can clearly be seen stomping through the streets with a sour expression on her face.  The skull from the thing from earlier doesn't seem to be in her possession, either.
  74. [17:42:15] <KriBe> Aww, someone looks as frustrated as I am
  75. [17:42:27] <KriBe> ~schadenfreude~
  76. [17:42:28] <Giantree> "Um," Tielle tries to come up with a picture of the situation on her own.  "That girl's why you've been so upset for some reason or another, right?"
  77. [17:43:32] <KriBe> "Naah, not really"  Starting on a second piece now "She can go do whatever she wants I guess"
  78. [17:45:12] <Giantree> "You still don't wanna talk about it?"  TL scarfs some more, terrified of her own appetite.  "... Weird.  I'd usually be stuffed by now..."
  79. [17:48:44] <KriBe> "I'm just MAD, alright?  Just mad."  Cake is starting to be consumed at a slightly but noticeably faster rate now
  80. [17:50:19] <Giantree> "Hehe.  Well, cheering up is what desserts are for!"  She cheerily rattles off with a huge grin.  "But for some reason my body's asking for them more than usual.  Ooooh, I hope I don't get fat..."
  81. [17:54:42] <Giantree> Sighing, she gives you a friendlier look and rests her chin on the table, raising her left arm to eye level and flexing her fingers around.  They make a somewhat muted yet still cery clear metallic noise with every movement.  "Wonder if it has to do with this.  Say... this city is full of weapopn experts, isn't it?  You think there's someone who might be able to help me figure out how it works?"
  82. [17:54:54] <Giantree> "H-Hopefully without dissecting me in the name of science or anything," with a shiver.
  83. [17:56:34] <KriBe> "Is' just, there was all this crazy stuff down there, right?  Tons of freaky monsters, and this freaking GIANT DEMON and everything!  All super awesomecool right?"
  84. [17:56:38] <KriBe> "You don't getta fight a crazy fight like that everyday.  But I could barely even scratch 'im!  Raaargh!"  She stabs the cake forcefully enough to make the plates jump slightly.
  85. [17:56:50] <KriBe> "Guess I'm just worthless without my axe huh"
  86. [17:58:18] <Giantree> "Oh!"  She smiles a BIIIIG smile.  "So that's all it was!  Well, geez, I only barely managed to shoot some of them down, but..."  Blink blink.  "W-Wait a second.  Without your axe....?  What happened to it, anyway?"
  87. [17:59:24] <KriBe> "Yeah, but you ain't a axe-wielding future warrior-god.  's alright if you don't kill 'em"
  88. [17:59:59] <KriBe> "Axe broke, it's getting repaired.  Hopefully."
  89. [18:00:34] <KriBe> Wow, cake does make you more cheerful.
  90. [18:00:47] <KriBe> Maybe I'll go find a recipe and bake one tomorrow.
  91. [18:00:58] <Giantree> "Repaired?"  Her eyes light up.  "Oh, you mean you know someone here who does that kinda stuff?"
  92. [18:06:16] <KriBe> "I guess so.  Some smart dude knows all sort of stuff"
  93. [18:06:18] <KriBe>  "Probably does weapons too, judging from the decor"
  94. [18:06:38] <KriBe> (Ugh, no more minor family distractions please)
  95. [18:07:06] <Giantree> yoooo i know that feel, i turned down getting dinner just so i could finish this
  96. [18:07:12] <Giantree> and probably won't eat anything until friday
  97. [18:08:15] <Giantree> "Okay!"  The ex(?)-timid girl hops out of her chair, fist pumping.  "Let's go check on it, then!  If they're smart, they gotta be able to help me too!  C'mon!"
  98. [18:08:22] <KriBe> All minor 30sec things but yeah
  99. [18:08:53] <KriBe> "Meybbe after I finish this cake"  Munch munch munch
  100. [18:09:04] <KriBe> Is what it would sound like if cake made a 'munch' sound
  101. [18:09:11] <Giantree> I'd say 'she drags you to a place that's plot-relevant by force' but that's not necessarily true because she has to dump out all her travel expenses to cover the sheer amount of food she just consumed.  They do give her a discount though because they're impressed at how much a human being could eat by herself.
  102. [18:09:15] <Giantree> IT COULD BE ONE OF THOSE UHH
  103. [18:09:17] <Giantree> CAKES WITH LIKE
  104. [18:09:20] <Giantree> PECANS ON IT?
  105. [18:09:26] <Giantree> OR SOMETHING ELSE THAT'S CRUNCHY
  106. [18:09:34] <Giantree> GOD I DON'T EVEN LIKE CAKE AND THAT STILL SOUNDS DELICIOUS
  107. [18:09:35] <Giantree> FUCK
  108. [18:10:49] <KriBe> Ewww I hate pecans
  109. [18:10:57] <Giantree> wow, weirdo
  110. [18:11:07] <KriBe> I hate all nuts that aren't cashews (delicious) or peanuts (tolerable)
  111. [18:11:16] <KriBe> The rest are all nasty
  112. [18:11:25] <KriBe> peanuts ain't even a nut are they
  113. [18:11:33] <Giantree> ehhhhh close enough
  114. [18:11:43] <Giantree> YOU WOULD like cashews though
  115. [18:11:53] <Giantree> you have a very cashew personality, i dunno how to explain it
  116. [18:12:08] <KriBe> So delicious
  117. [18:12:13] <KriBe> But so very expensive
  118. [18:12:28] <Giantree> ... ANYWAY god i'm already getting more distracted than when i was trying to have the makigirl fight her childhood nemesis and ended up talking about a certain meme that turned out to be the player's weak spot
  119. [18:13:55] <Giantree> But with more demand than usual, Tielle requests with great curiosity that you show her the person who knows how to do weapon repairs.  Are you a bad enough loli to accept the request or do you get distracted by the need to pout and/or all the bunnygirls standing out in the freezing cold advertising cheapass blacksmiths who don't know the difference between a katana and a wakizashi?
  120. [18:17:10] <KriBe> Someone say bunnygirls freezing in the cold?
  121. [18:17:39] <Giantree> There are a lot of weirdoes advertising in town in impractical costumes, yeah.  It IS the weapon capital of the world after all.
  122. [18:18:45] <KriBe> Stop tempting me.  Light bullying like that is my fetish.
  123. [18:18:50] <KriBe> Well, one of dozens
  124. [18:19:02] <Giantree> oh, i FINALLY baited you into confessing to one of your fetishes
  125. [18:19:05] <Giantree> after all these years
  126. [18:19:07] <Giantree> damn
  127. [18:19:13] <Giantree> a friend of mine has that one too
  128. [18:19:23] <KriBe> Dude what, have I been that secretive?
  129. [18:19:29] <KriBe> I didn't realize I had been.
  130. [18:19:42] <Giantree> Though it's more 'minor inconvenience'- yeah, you had totes been taunting us saying we'd never be able to guess them, remember?
  131. [18:19:47] <KriBe> Nah I'll tell you all about 'em later if you want.
  132. [18:19:55] <KriBe> What really?  When was that?
  133. [18:20:09] <Giantree> like, the past few years
  134. [18:20:15] <Giantree> have you actually been schizophrenic all this time
  135. [18:20:19] <KriBe> Really.  Huh.
  136. [18:20:20] <Giantree> S P O O K Y
  137. [18:20:50] <KriBe> No, but fun fact I actually was legit tested for schizophrenia back when I was about 17~18.  Didn't find out till a few months ago.
  138. [18:21:20] <Giantree> But anyway that's mostly unimportant because there are both bunnygirls and bunnymen, like, cho-aniki looking dudes in tight outfits with pantyhose and bunny ears flexing their muscles.  And maybe even a few doing that IN their shops WHILE making weapons.
  139. [18:21:34] <KriBe> Nice
  140. [18:21:43] <KriBe> This is a good town, we should stay here awhile
  141. [18:22:01] <Giantree> BUT POINT BEING those are all the trashy ones, the REAL blacksmiths worth their salt aren't strewn about the streets but all gathered in the Craftknight's guild.
  142. [18:22:03] <KriBe> But yeah, sure let's take the cake and go smithering
  143. [18:22:08] <Giantree> AND YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR 3 WEEKS
  144. [18:22:12] <Giantree> SHOULD'VE GONE TO TOWN MORE
  145. [18:22:15] <Giantree> GRAAAAAAARHARARAGGH
  146. [18:23:06] <Giantree> ... But yes.  Your new friend(?) is bright-eyed and more interested in smithery than ever before, which is weird because she has the demeanor of a country girl with no interest in combat, just in the love of her life.  Who happens to be a dude who really likes combat.
  147. [18:25:29] <Giantree> I'll handwave away most of the formalities, but if you do go in asking for 1,1the guy whose name is literally 'Varg' backwards there's a lot of paperwork to go through as well as proving that you actually had an appointment with him since he's the leader of the whole guild and shit like that.  It sure didn't seem that complicated LAST time you met with him, like Michelle was one of the owners of the building or something.
  148. [18:26:04] <KriBe_> wow
  149. [18:26:06] <KriBe_> how did I miss that
  150. [18:26:26] <Giantree> the same way every other player missed every other backwards name i intentionally put in for them to notice
  151. [18:26:32] <Giantree> just another one for the pile
  152. [18:26:50] <KriBe> "Shreesh"  She stuffs the last bit of cake in "since when'd this place get so stuffyformal?"
  153. [18:28:39] <Giantree> "Hmph.  Look who finally came crawling back."  Speaking of stuffyformal, Michelle picks this time - as in, while you're in the middle of obnoxious sitting around in waiting rooms and signing forms and shit - to burst in and act smug.  "You spent so long crying I could've had my own whole weapons factory by  now!"
  154. [18:33:03] <KriBe> "Oh shut it"  Who said that anyways?  Ah well, doesn't matter.  "Friend here needs some help, asked if I knew anyone.  So . . . yeah."
  155. [18:34:59] <Giantree> "Hmph.  Well, lucky for you, ol' man Grav didn't use that thing he asked for to make me a better spear like I told him to.  Gave me an earful instead."  She groans.  "Like, whatever.  Apparently your axe is ~special~ or something."
  156. [18:36:05] <Giantree> Michelle shrugs and turns to the receptionist.  "Screw the usual, let 'em through already.  I'm a little ticked off, and I think you know what happens if I get mad, right?"  Said receptionist gulps and, without hesitation, leads you all the way to the back of the building, not unlike last time.  Tielle is thoroughly impressed.
  157. [18:38:57] <KriBe> "Course he didn't.  Why would he use for anyone but me?"
  158. [18:40:18] <Giantree> "Well, I should have more sway than YOU around here," Mimi scoffs.  It seems that slowly but surely she's regaining the haughtiness she once had before getting shot down by a weirdo shota wind mage and having her mount murdered.  "Ah, whatever, he'll give you the whole speech, I'm sure."
  159. [18:41:08] <Giantree> After what feels like a million years and even more hallways, you reach the dark room where the dark, eyepatch-wearing blacksmith hammers away.  He totally has a portrait too and I guess it just never occurred to me that you'd never get a chance to see it, maybe this is my chance to make him a party member or something.  ..... Naaaaaaah.
  160. [18:41:36] <Giantree> "Welcome BACK!  I KNEW you'd RETURN."  The man speaks over his hammering.  Tielle plugs her ears.
  161. [18:42:06] <KriBe> Does that mean we're gonna get an ego-off later?
  162. [18:42:41] <Giantree> you fuckin' bet
  163. [18:42:52] <Giantree> in fact you can have one right away if you so wish
  164. [18:44:57] <KriBe> "Yeah I'm here.  Friend needs some advice or something on this weird armbowthingie.  Thought maybe you'd know something"
  165. [18:45:59] <Giantree> The bara muscleman flexes and- okay no this is where i'd LOVE to have him sing a musical number while doing cho-aniki movements but you people are the ones at fault for not choosing to play in a full-voice campaign.  Faggots.  I would've sang for you too.  "OH, so you didn't come for YOURSELF?  Even after the OFFER I made?"  He wipes a tear(?) from his single eye.  "SUCH a noble HEART!"
  166. [18:47:08] <KriBe> "Huh?  Ohhhh yeah, that thing too.  My axe.  Right."  Mood sours slightly again.  Slightly.
  167. [18:47:16] <Giantree> On cue, he notices the hand Tielle is plugging her ear with and gets up, walking over to take a look.  He does so in silence, lifting it up and squeezing her hand a bit.  She makes hilarious faces in your direction all the while, both terrified and overwhelmed by the sensation of being toyed with by a larger, older man GOD DAMNIT RED THANKS TO YOU I'M WRITING LIKE THIS EVEN WHEN I DON'T MEAN TO
  168. [18:48:45] <RedXVII> heh heh hehehehe
  169. [18:49:20] <Giantree> Satisfied, he returns to his anvil.  "I will EXPLAIN.  What she possesses is CERTAINLY a WEAPON, though unlike anything we can forge TODAY.  Perhaps the DRAGONS created it for their own purposes.  Perhaps somebody ELSE left it to be discovered.  We don't KNOW."
  170. [18:50:12] <Giantree> "HOWEVER, it seems to be MAGICALLY inclined, and like magic TOMES, it draws its strength from the WIELDER.  I can explain in more DETAIL later.  But as for YOURS..."
  171. [18:51:24] <Giantree> "I've LEARNED," he stops hammering to speak in a more serious tone, "that your AXE resembles something once brought to me for a TUNEUP by a CUSTOMER.  One of a PAIR, it is.  BOTH were created by the ancient PEOPLE, but had lost their POWER over the years."
  172. [18:51:44] <KriBe> "Why do you know all this crap anyways?"
  173. [18:52:10] <Giantree> "EXPERIENCE!" He boastfully guffaws, laughing with such strength that he almost shakes the entire room in the process.
  174. [18:53:55] <Giantree> "The CUSTOMER was a SEASONED EXPLORER," he continues.  "I was BAFFLED when I first learned that these ANCIENT weapons existed.  But they DO!  And with this POWER SOURCE," he glares at Michelle with a single eye, "that that GIRL brought in in your STEAD, I can RESTORE it to what it's MEANT to be."
  175. [18:56:29] <KriBe> "Sweet, yeah, the dragon head.  Totally meant to bring that to 'ya.  Someone got a little overzealous and ahead of me though"
  176. [18:56:33] <KriBe> *demon head
  177. [18:56:49] <Giantree> ehhh it might as well be a dragon
  178. [18:57:12] <Giantree> "Only because SOMEBODY wanted to be a crybaby," Michelle scoffs, speaking as if she almost already picked up the habit from the man.
  179. [18:57:50] <Giantree> "SILENCE!"  The bearded man shouts.  "Now, LITTLE LADY, with your PERMISSION I can RESTORE it to its former GLORY.  SHALL I?"
  180. [18:59:16] <KriBe> "Sure, whynot, do your thang"
  181. [18:59:26] <KriBe> "Just like planned all along, of course"
  182. [19:01:17] <Giantree> As requested, NOW is when he starts singing and dancing.  Numerous other blacksmiths, some in funny costumes, join in from seemingly nowhere and comment on the entire process through lyrics like it were an '80s musical.  I'd post all the lyrics here if I weren't completely asleep, but remind me later and I'll actually write it out.  ANYWAY suffice it to say that the whole experience is completely surreal and even Tielle is utterly terrified at the fact that this is happening, much less that it's happening in a room that feels like an oven and the performers are almost all sweaty bara musclemen.
  183. [19:01:32] <Giantree> Michelle doesn't care, she was off somewhere doing poetry- I mean she's seen this before.  Apparently.
  184. [19:02:19] <KriBe> Beautiful.  We should make a recording and sell it for mad dosh
  185. [19:03:54] <Giantree> After a ritual that feels like it should be performed by dwarves (but it just so happens there are no dwarves in this setting (OR ARE THERE)), which only takes a few moments for some reason, the axe has a head once more.  And, by some strange miracle, it looks completely unlike what it once did, now appearing to bear the engraving of a lion's head on the blade.  Unlike before, though, it pulses with an overwhelming power- just by feeling it, you may even be able to say that it's literally twice as strong as it was before.
  186. [19:04:45] <Giantree> "... The CUSTOMER with that weapon's SIBLING is still out there, but I'm afraid that's ALL I can speak of."  Grav looks at his work, satisfied.  "CONFIDENTIALITY and all."
  187. [19:05:20] <KriBe> Don't tempt me with dwarves, I started playing Dwarf Fortress again lately
  188. [19:05:52] <Giantree> Michelle has her hands at her hips.  "Well, now we can finally have that duel.  If you can even lift that thing anymore," she says with a smirk.
  189. [19:06:01] <Giantree> and then giantree was running inuyasha
  190. [19:06:05] <KriBe> "So what you're saying is, the possibility of dual-wielding this thing exists.  Sweet."
  191. [19:06:19] <Giantree> nah jk it's not any heavier than it was before
  192. [19:06:28] <Giantree> Grav simply laughs.  "PERHAPS."
  193. [19:06:44] <Giantree> "NEVERTHELESS, I am HAPPY to get a chance to work with such POWERFUL weapons.  Try to take CARE of it this time!"
  194. [19:06:55] <KriBe> "Guess I have a new life mission.  For the time being."
  195. [19:07:21] <Giantree> ok so before i fall asleep what do you want first: the good news, the bad news, or the neutral news?
  196. [19:08:51] <KriBe> Oh, no duel?  Or save for later?
  197. [19:09:11] <KriBe> If you're that tired then yeah, can't be helped
  198. [19:09:21] <Giantree> Well let's be real, if it was actually played out with stats it would literally just be 'whoever hits first wins'
  199. [19:09:35] <KriBe> Just hit me with it all at once sempai
  200. [19:09:43] <Giantree> nice
  201. [19:09:51] <Giantree> ok sure, i'll still do it in blogograph form
  202. [19:09:52] <Giantree> sec
  203. [19:13:30] <Giantree> First of all, it does NOT retain the ability to drain with every single hit because with the new MT it has that would be unholy ridiculous; instead, it grants a skill that's basically like Sun God and Renewal had a baby, wherein you AND all adjacent units recover 25% HP at the beginning of player phase.  To compensate for that, it has a whopping 24 MT as opposed to the previous 12.  Its hit is 60, but you DIIIIID spend money on it so I'm still waffling on whether to let you keep its improved hit or not- probably will.  I think it's just 5 less than it used to be?  Anyway though, 0 crit, but it grants something so ridiculous that it won't matter: 1,1+10 LCK.  Unaffected by the cap.
  204. [19:14:38] <Giantree> just fuck my campaign up fam
  205. [19:14:40] <Flamy> I think that more than compensates for the lowered accuracy.
  206. [19:14:47] <Giantree> yyyyyyyyyyyeah
  207. [19:15:15] <Kille_Lund> yeah that basically gives you 70 hit
  208. [19:15:30] <Giantree> honestly if it weren't such a pain to calculate, I would've instead loved for it to do a thing where it drains HP and distributes it to nearby allies, because that sounds badass
  209. [19:15:37] <Giantree> but in this system?  euuuuuuggh
  210. [19:16:32] <Giantree> Hmm, yeah, I think we can say the luck bonus replaces the forge probably, because it's essentially a better version of it
  211. [19:16:50] <Giantree> considering it gives a bonus to crit AND avo too
  212. [19:16:55] <Flamy> Yeah...
  213. [19:17:29] <KriBe> Nice nice, looks great
  214. [19:17:52] <KriBe> Perfect for mwa
  215. [19:18:12] <Giantree> good, i was worried you'd be upset about me nerfing the drain
  216. [19:19:04] <Giantree> but everything else is buffed so high it's pretty much lol who cares
  217. [19:19:14] <Giantree> NOW
  218. [19:19:38] <Giantree> yeah i'm definitely gonna die rn, if i tried to do the dool i'd literally crash in the middle
  219. [19:19:42] <KriBe> Eh, I could use the nerf
  220. [19:19:52] <Giantree> and my tower is making a LOT of noise because it hasn't been turned off in months
  221. [19:20:02] <Giantree> so i'm gonna let it rest for a good few hours
  222. [19:20:04] <KriBe> Awww, alright then.  Get a decent sleep.  And sleep schedule
  223. [19:20:12] <Kille_Lund> he never will
  224. [19:20:14] <Flamy> Sleep, my man.
  225. [19:20:17] <KriBe> I'll try to be online earlier tomorrow
  226. [19:20:19] <Giantree> But I offer you two options (yeah i'm only half-sleeping because i need to get up at like 4 am)
  227. [19:20:21] <Giantree> :
  228. [19:20:48] <Giantree> 1) Metaphorically cuck Mimi and keep prolonging the duel so that she follows you around all the time waiting for it, because that sounds UNBELIEVABLY hilarious
  229. [19:21:17] <Giantree> 2) we can do it tomorrow, won't take long anyway and if i'm feeling creative i can write up a literal suikoden-style rock-paper-scissors system instead of just FE mechanics
  230. [19:23:03] <Giantree> But anyway, even after that, not!Varg and Tielle spend some time together, because she lets Cherubim be observed to find out how it works and if there's a way to get it off of her.  The conclusion he comes up with is that it is indeed what you'd call a 'cursed' weapon and it isn't within the power of a blacksmith to remove it without amputating the whole arm.  Maybe somebody with ridiculously high magic power could pull it off, which would lead to its own sidequest chain, but other than that you just learn all the stuff that I put under TL's bio in the pastebin.
  231. [19:23:32] <Giantree> Except for the fact that it was a tool to celebrate a lovers' union i guess, there's no way he'd know that
  232. [19:23:41] <Giantree> but defs the 'sucks out the user's magic energy' shit
  233. [19:24:06] <Giantree> NOW THAT SAID
  234. [19:24:19] <Giantree> YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO THINK OF WHAT TO DO WITH THE NIGHTMARES I HAVE GIVEN YOU
  235. [19:24:24] <Giantree> I WILL NOW HAVE MY OWN NIGHTMARES
  236. [19:24:27] <Giantree> GOODNIGHT
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