to keep it simple,


I valued what we had, I valued it a lot. But I was just being immature. Sure, feelings are there, but love cannot be present like that. Love is the relation between two human beings, physical and psychological. If you are missing one of those aspects then love cannot be present.


My intentions are not to hurt you in any way, but I don’t know how to do that, because I feel if I say one wrong thing I’ll automatically have hurt you exponentially. I’ve been saying how my life has been so much better with you around, but to be honest it’s just been worse. Extra baggage to carry around, disconnection from god, and just anxiety that I do not need.


As you grow older, you will learn what love is. You will realize that dating someone (...) is not love. Dating someone over the internet is hiding behind a screen. I somehow ended up doing this because I was trying to hide. But this is just pure immaturity. I need to work on my self image and esteem so I can teach myself how to love. For you, it’s much too early.


I’ve found my life has improved without (...), and I’ve been better. I’ve been less depressed, I’ve been less anxious, I’ve been better. But I still had more baggage on my back. That baggage, that baggage was you. I’ve just been leading you on with the idea that we love each other, and you have been leading yourself on as well. You don’t know what love is, you are much too young. Love is not just a feeling. As you grow you’ll look back at all this and you’ll realize how silly it was. As much as we’ve been trying to conceal the age gap between us, the reality is that we were just being negligent to it. The gap is not a problem in ways that many people think, it’s a problem because you cannot know how to love at that age. It’s time I let go of this, time I embrace the reality of how unnecessary it is that we did all this.


You’re young. You have so much life ahead of you and you have a great and wealthy family. You need to learn how to value all the good things you have in your life and not stress over things that won’t badly affect you. You have a lot to learn... a lot.


So now I assume you are just going to block me immediately and remove all contact with me, as you do when you get the slightest bit upset with someone. I’ve noticed that you often try to throw all your problems into the closet. In the moment you say and believe that you won’t ever talk to them again, and they can burn in hell for all you care. But later, those feelings go away. You decide to forgive them. Those feelings are feelings and just that; feelings are deceptive. So to conclude, these are my last words:


If you truly care about me,

let me go.

don’t block me.

don’t hurt yourself.

and most importantly,

love yourself.


I’ve stayed with you for so long because I’ve been scared that you would hurt yourself. I’ve been anxious and all this baggage was because I feared that you would do something to yourself. So please, even if it’s hard, move on. I’ll still be a friend to you, promise.


- yours truly


Four months later, and I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on this. I have a better understanding of why I did what I did, because at the time I guess my intentions were never clear, even to myself. A lot has changed in these last 4 months. I’ve completely disconnected from (...), and I’ve spent more time with my real friends. Although even when I’m with my friends I still tend to feel independent and isolated, lost in my own thoughts. Even so, a disconnect from all the (...) nonsense has helped me drastically. I still think about you all the time and I don’t think I’ll ever forget our relationship. You might be wondering why I never delivered on my promise for us to always stay friends. Well, I was honestly never planning to leave (...) until after we broke up, because I realized the source of all my anxiety was coming from them. I wanted a fresh start, away from old habits, and without the idea that I was obligated to allocate as much time as I did in those friends.