Horrormonsterterrordemonbeast x Spearbitch C-B

Bigwood Mar 5th, 2013 34 Never
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  1. [01:32:35] <Haldis> The friendly neighborhood Nordswoman begins one of her daily activities: auditing the armory. She finds many of the swords to be distastefully dull and sets to sharpening them. Of course, the process of putting a sword to the grindstone is quite loud, especially to the possible napdragon, rarely observed in the wild.
  2. [01:32:36] <BlendedSolosis> and the guy picks the grindstone back up, ah yeah, there are you, every raper ever?
  3. [01:32:50] <Haldis> (No blendy, Haldis is not a raper. Yet.)
  4. [01:32:51] <BlendedSolosis> every raper ever?
  5. [01:33:05] <Haldis> (...maybe, blendy, I guess I don't know how many rapers we have)
  6. [01:33:06] <Sylpi> (I can't even imagine where he learned that)
  7. [01:33:06] <BlendedSolosis> cause they have)
  8. [01:33:15] <Haldis> (...Oh...)
  9. [01:34:26] <Sylpi> Yes, without a doubt, the dragon is listening for every loud noise there ever is ever.  Or, as it apparent in the armory, SOME mysterious force of nature is, as suddenly massive gusts of wind start coming from practically nowhere.
  10. [01:37:57] * Haldis would stop between gusts and curiously glance about before once again setting swords to the grindstone. Shit may be weird, but not enough from preventing her from being useful.
  11. [01:38:51] <Sylpi> It continues for a good... three or four cycles?  Before a young girl's voice shrieks and shouts outside, "AUUUUUGH!  StopitstopitSTOPIT!"
  12. [01:42:40] * Haldis fortunately DOES stop. Though only because she's not familiar with the presence of YOUNG girls in the army. She draws her lance and steps outside to ascertain the owner of the voice, which is probably the least appropriate manner one approaches young girl voices with.
  13. [01:44:23] <Sylpi> Actually the least appropriate manner is 'with a whip,' but that's up there.  As soon as the noise stops, which is probably as soon as the Nord steps outside, the voice lets out a "Phew."  On the ground is a couple of dragon wings wrapped around a small, curled-up figure.
  14. [01:44:51] <Sylpi> The wind is suddenly calm and not stormy at all.  Nope.
  15. [01:46:30] <Haldis> Haldis is familiar enough with the roster of their army to know the only manakete when she sees it. "Sylpi, for what reason have you bade me to cease maintaining the army's equipment?"
  16. [01:47:42] <Sylpi> "Mmmmgh."  An eye cracks open underneath the wings- the green one.  "Oh, you're- awww, who cares.  Sylpi doesn't like loud noises!  Can't you do it quieter?  It's all JUNK in there anyway."
  17. [01:49:28] <Haldis> "I do not possess sound dampening abilities, so no, it can not be done quieter. It is junk because I have not yet finished." She looks genuinely concerned. "Why must I suppress the sound, is there an enemy lurking near I'm not aware of?"
  18. [01:51:14] <Sylpi> "Because it's ANNOYING, duh!"  Sylpi sits up and jer wings jolt all the way out.  Looks like she doesn't recognize who she's talking to besides as 'someone else in the army' from the look on her face, but the other eye cracks open anyway.  "Why does she even need another reason?  Sylpi doesn't offer her help to just ANYONE you know."
  19. [01:54:18] <Haldis> "...oh." Haldis returns to the armory, uncharacteristically muttering something about dragons, and the terrible sounds of weapons being sharpened once again fills the air.
  20. [01:55:09] <Sylpi> "AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAGH!"  It's the girliest shriek ever.
  21. [01:57:32] * Sylpi grumblingly peeks into the armory, both eyes glaring. "If she helps, will it be done faster? That junk probably STILL won't help any."
  22. [02:00:07] <Haldis> She hardly acknowledges Sylpi's presence, not to mention her displeasure. "...she?" Haldis does not slow down or cease sharpening weapons at all.
  23. [02:02:28] <Sylpi> "Yeah!  Who else would she be talking about but her?"  Goddamnit this is gonna be a thing isn't it.  "All she has to do is be close and she'll ~bless~ them with her ~magic power~, that way nobody has to make annoying noises, right?"
  24. [02:03:28] <Sylpi> "Dragon-weapons are stronger than other weapons.  Always!"  She conveniently leaves out the fact that there's no such thing as dragon-weapons.
  25. [02:03:51] <Haldis> "Which "her" are you referring to? I know I certainly do not possess that capability" The gnawing sound of the grindstone continues to gnaw at Sylpi's soul.
  26. [02:03:53] <BlendedSolosis> it's gnawing at me...
  27. [02:03:58] <Haldis> (*grating...)
  28. [02:04:06] <Sylpi> (Thanks, Blendy!)
  29. [02:04:36] <Sylpi> Sylpi gets more visibly irritated by the second.  "She said she means herself!  Not anyone else!"
  30. [02:05:34] <Haldis> She stops briefly out of confusion. "Then...why don't you say 'me?' Or 'myself?'"
  31. [02:07:05] <Sylpi> "Well..."  The dragongirl breaks a sweat.  "Uh..."
  32. [02:07:47] <Sylpi> Only those outside can see her wings flailing about, since she only popped her head inside.  "Because that's boring!  Everyone else does it, so why does Sylpi need to?"
  33. [02:08:34] <Sylpi> "When Sylpi's different, that makes it easier to tell how important she is.  So that's how she does it!"  The dragonlolihead nods.
  34. [02:08:57] <Haldis> "Clarity. EFficiency. Logic. To sound educated. When I'd heard we had a manekete, I thought they'd be more..." She mulls it over, attempting to come up with a tasteful wording. But she does not. "...intelligent."
  35. [02:10:33] * Sylpi pouts. "Nyuh! You don't even understand! When you live long enough you realize how boring 'logic' and 'efficiency' and all that stuff is and just start coming up with ways to have fun instead. Don't make fun of Sylpi when you don't even get it!"
  36. [02:11:05] <Sylpi> "... Oh hey, you stopped.  Thanks!"  :D
  37. [02:13:18] * Haldis finally spares the glance toward Sylpi. "...your outfit seems...impractical...but thank you for reminding me." She returns to sharpening the weapons.
  38. [02:15:30] <Sylpi> Her streamer-ribbon-things stand on end.  She winces as the sound starts up again.  "See, that's what she means!  Who cares about being practical when you're bored and wanna try things?"  Sylpi sticks a tongue out.  "Fine, unjunk it all.  Next time it annoys her she'll be back to argue about something pointless again and you won't even realize you stopped!"
  39. [02:15:57] <Sylpi> "Bye!"  The dragonhead disappears.
  40. [02:17:22] * Haldis oddly enough pauses again after Sylpi's departure. "How...does one ignore the second-person but not the fi- oh...she left..." Back to the horrible sound she goes!
  41. [02:17:38] <Haldis> (Switch them negatives)
  42. [02:17:55] <Haldis> (I be derpin')
  43. [02:18:46] <Sylpi> Defeated this day, the vengeful dragon endures the grinding noise by boredly making it sound like there's a tornado going on outside or something.  Not that that probably matters because there obviously isn't!
  44. [02:19:02] <Sylpi> Also the grinding is way louder anyway when you're up close.
  45. [02:20:59] * Haldis succeeds at not being annoyed by the vaunted dragonchild of irritability!
  47. [02:33:33] <Sylpi> So... can we say this weapon-sharpening thing is a regular enough thing that nobody but Haldis cares enough to do it?
  48. [02:34:01] <Haldis> We can probably assume they think the grindstone fairy is real
  49. [02:34:30] <Sylpi> But why would they leave entire grindstones under their pillows?
  50. [02:35:09] <Haldis> They just throw pillows on the grindstone, effectively creating more work for Haldis in moving the pillows out of the way
  51. [02:36:50] <Sylpi> Entirely acceptable.  Every now and then Sylpi comes in, whines, makes up something dumb like the 'dragon magic' thing from last time, then gives up and leaves, angrily.  TODAY IS A NEW DAY.
  52. [02:37:30] * Sylpi does, of course, peek in during a sharpening session sometime. This time not just her face but the wings and all too. "Hi!"
  53. [02:38:19] <Haldis> "Sylpi." It is more a statement than a greeting as Haldis doesn't even bother looking away from her work.
  54. [02:39:11] <Sylpi> "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawhateveryournamewas.  Who cares about that!  Sylpi just KNOWS she can tell a story more important than sharpening junk this time.  Ready to hear it?"
  55. [02:40:13] <Sylpi> "Huh huh huh huh?"  Now the wings flutter about INDOORS.
  56. [02:40:57] <Haldis> "Continue." She does not even bother looking up from her work.
  57. [02:43:55] <Sylpi> "Okay~!  So."  She lets herself all the way in and stands up, folding her wings to maintain a better posture.  "Once, there was a great war!  There weren't any humans involved because they were all somewhere else and nobody cared about them anyway.  Every day and night the strongest Dragons tried to prove their strength against each other!"  And... then she starts making silly noises and hand motions.  "Whoosh!  Gwaaaaaar!  They went on tirelessly, neither side ever backing down!"
  58. [02:45:03] <Sylpi> "And, uh..."  It's obvious she just planned that part and neglected the rest because after that show Sylpi brings a finger to her chin, trying to think of what to make up next.
  59. [02:45:49] <Sylpi> "Well, they didn't need weapons, for one.  So they never had to sharpen them - since there weren't any, get it? - and the troops were ALWAYS ready for battle since there wasn't anything annoying while they were getting ready!"
  60. [02:46:44] <Haldis> "Is it safe to assume..." A subtle layer of irritation is now present in her voice, presumably too subtle for Sylpi to pick up on. Unless she's not as dumb as she seems. "...that this was during the era in which dragon terrorized man?"
  61. [02:48:04] <Sylpi> "'Course not," Sylpi replies instantly.  Hard to tell whether she knows what she's doing or is just being arrogant as always though.  "It way waaaaaay before anything like that.  Man probably wasn't even a thing then!"
  62. [02:48:25] <Haldis> "And though you just said they were 'somewhere else'"
  63. [02:48:41] <Sylpi> "Oh uh... whatever, it could've been either!  Or both!"
  64. [02:48:55] <Haldis> "It could not have been both by any means."
  65. [02:48:56] <Sylpi> Hole #1!  Sylpi acts like she just had an arrow shot through her heart.
  66. [02:49:35] <Sylpi> #2!  "Uh... okay, then it was none!"  ... Wait, that makes even LESS sense.
  67. [02:49:55] <Sylpi> "Anyway the... um..."
  68. [02:50:27] * Sylpi checks to see if the grinding's stopped yet. C'mon fury, c'mon fury.
  69. [02:51:07] <Haldis> "So you're saying, not enough a thousand years ago, mankind did not exist? Or are you attempting to tell a story from before your time?" The grinding hasn't quite stopped, though it's slowed considerably. Not that that's probably a good thing.
  70. [02:52:09] <Sylpi> Progress!  "Before... hey, how do you even know how old Sylpi IS?  But duh it's before her time, it's not like she's the FIRST dragon or anything."  She stops at the last part to stare off into space for a moment.
  71. [02:53:04] <Haldis> This time the grinding DOES stop. "Because unlike the bulk of this army, I find it necessary to study up on each and every member so as to recognize them and know their strengths and weaknesses."
  72. [02:53:40] <Haldis> Unfortunately, it continues! "And even if I didn't know, I could have guessed and you'd just have confirmed it."
  73. [02:54:30] <Sylpi> The tips of her wings flare out a little bit.  And there's a little 'eek' like she didn't KNOW how obvious she just made her age.  "Well, if you do all that, what's the point of staying in here doing boring stuff like this?  Can't you just make someone else do it?"
  74. [02:56:02] <Haldis> "If I make someone else do it, I have no way of knowing how effectively they'd handle it. What business are the affairs of men to a lizard like you anyways?"
  75. [02:58:01] <Sylpi> One of her front-hairs sticks up.  You know, in an animu-as-fuck 'oh no you di'nt' way.  "... Nuh-uh, you can't just call her that.  Besides, she came here to tell stories about her OWN kind, anyway!  Because even if we fought wars for stupider reasons, we didn't need junky weapons to do it!"
  76. [02:58:20] * Sylpi covers her mouth at the end. Uh whoops that wasn't supposed to come out.
  77. [02:59:33] <Haldis> The grinding gets more furious. "The ant is capable of fighting in ways mankind can not. But it takes far more ants to slay a human than it takes humans to slay a dragon."
  78. [02:59:34] <BlendedSolosis> id ant man sadly.
  79. [03:00:03] <Ash> (I'd her ant)
  80. [03:00:08] <Sylpi> (lewd)
  81. [03:01:31] <Sylpi> Uncovering, Sylpi gets just as furious as the grinding... presumably.  "That doesn't even have anything to do with the story she was telling!  She's.... She's not even slayable anyway, even if there were a MILLION humans!  HMPH!"
  82. [03:01:53] <Haldis> (Ah snap, girl on girl grinding)
  83. [03:01:53] <BlendedSolosis> hello lamewads, never be done grinding)
  84. [03:02:11] <Haldis> (...Damnit Blendy)
  85. [03:02:22] * Sylpi turns tail - there would be pun intended if manaketed had tails in their humanforms to go with their wings but nah, pretty sure they don't - and runs out. One would wonder if she was crying, but probably not because dragon tears are corrosive acid.
  86. [03:02:52] <Haldis> (I have it on good authority that dragons cry jelly beans)
  87. [03:04:50] * Haldis isn't entirely certain which one of them was being an asshole, but feels bad nonetheless. Even if Sylpi is centuries old, Haldis will go check up on her...after she's done with the equipment.
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