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Twitch/My Mom situation

a guest Jan 24th, 2020 358 Never
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  1. Hello. Hi.
  2.  
  3. So this isn't the easiest thing I will post. Or write about. I kinda feel naked doing this, but I need to do it. Mostly for me and my brain and also because of you, my friends on twitch/Twitter, yeah you know what I mean.
  4.  
  5. As many of you guys have noticed, I have more or less, disappeared from Twitch, streaming and also hanging out, even though I'm trying really hard to hangout in people's channels.
  6. I'm having a really hard time coming back to streaming, I feel motivated some days but I just don't know, I'm having a hard time streaming and just pushing that "start steaming" in OBS.
  7. I know what I want to do, when it comes to streaming, I have my goals and dreams. I'm just stuck in a very negative spiral that never ends.
  8.  
  9. To be more open about everything that is going on, I'm currently fighting my worst nightmare.
  10. As many of you know, my mother got super ill in November, she had a stroke but they found more then a stroke on the MRI/s. They did a biopsy and they couldn't tell what it was at the time. She was hospitalized for 21 days the first period. Got sent home. December 9th, she got yet another stroke. We found it in time and we got her in good care. The week before Christmas, everything looked good, she was going to go home for Christmas celebrations. Then something happened, she had 3 minor cerebral hemorrhages. She got parazlyed in her left side, of the body in 3 days. And she's been paralyzed since then.
  11. She's been hospitalized since the 9th of December, almost 50 days.
  12. Last week, they did a very risky brain biopsy, she could have died during it since it was so close to the one they did back in November. She thankfully survived the biopsy.
  13. We got results immediately, which is kind of rare, but the doctor/surgeon/specialist that did the procedure could tell that, what is making my mom so super ill is a, malignant brain tumor.
  14. For you that may not know what this:
  15.  
  16. "Malignant primary brain tumors are cancers that originate in the brain, typically grow faster than benign tumors, and aggressively invade surrounding tissue."
  17.  
  18. So.. Yeah, it's super bad. They can treat it but can only give her a couple of more years at most but she will die.. That is what we are facing.
  19.  
  20. This is the reason why I'm having a hard time coming back to streaming. Like I said, I got the motivation, I just don't know what to do anymore. I was super positive in the beginning about the whole situation, but I've started to doubt that my mom will get well.
  21.  
  22. I have been thinking a lot and I will continue to stream, when I can. Like I'm doing right now. One stream here and there.
  23. I have decided that all potential revenue from twitch will go to help paying my mom's hospital bill. Yes, you do pay for Healthcare and stuff in Sweden as well. For example if you stay at a hospital during a day you pay around $10 a night.
  24. Add everything up, for my mom, it's almost 4 months so you can just think how that bill looks like.
  25. I am even thinking about doing a fundraiser stream to help her out.
  26. I often get to hear from people: "How can I help you?"
  27.  
  28. That is one way you can help my mom out, you are not helping me at all. If you want to. Don't feel like you need to do it.
  29. The best way to support me and my family is just having us in your thoughts and I guess prayers as well. Talk to me as normal and just entertain me as much as possible when I'm in your chat on twitch. I want your chat/stream to be about you and not how my mother is doing, as Twitch will be my way to break this deadlock I'm in. This limbo.
  30.  
  31. If you read everything, I know it's a lot of text. Thank you so much. I hope you understand my current situation. And I love you guys and hopefully this will get better.
  32.  
  33. Much love, from your friend
  34. /NilssonAlex92
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