[16:34] <ali-work> I'm very much used to playing the "Doesn't my face look not worried but confident that you WILL be okay?" role
[16:34] <ali-work> mom n dad's deployments, lou's deployments, about a hundred dozen friends and family members during their deployments
[16:34] <ali-work> This one is a bit scarier because there are LESS variables.
[16:34] <ali-work> More variables = more possible ways the outcome could be fantastic.
[16:35] <ali-work> We already know they are expecting a collapsed lung or two
[16:35] <ali-work> and I can be worry free and I told him that yeah something would be off about me if I Weren't at all worried but I tells him
[16:36] <ali-work> I've watched you plan this for so long. Cleverly and thoroughly and you put all of this effort into tracking down the one person just crazy enough to be willing to perform an incredibly uncommon surgery because you were confident that it could work if done right and it would extend your longevity.
[16:36] <ali-work> You don't want your parts to fail, you want someone to reinforce them. You believed in that. And then you did everything in your power to ensure the most competent people were involved.
[16:37] <ali-work> now that you've gotten everything squared away, you took care of literally every last detail... there's nothing left for you to put in place. All that's left is to trust them to do their job and it gives you time to remember that this thing you were so confident about is kind of scary.
[16:37] <ali-work> and I'm here to remind you that you didn't even think twice about how scary it was when you made this decision. It was -that- worth it.
[16:38] <ali-work> I did a really good job of pulling that off largely because I actually believe it and am more excited than worried.
[16:38] <ali-work> then he told me his sister is being weird
[16:38] <ali-work> She can't talk to him outside of telling him that she doesn't understand why he can't be happy with what he has
[16:38] <ali-work> even if what he has is deteriorating and more accurately atrophying (is that a word?)
[16:39] <ali-work> and this will slow that process and he can't understand why she wouldn't want him to take a chance at longevity.
[16:39] <ali-work> Break is over, back in queue but we're slow.
[16:39] <ali-work> I'm with him. Have his back 100%.
[16:40] <ali-work> I don't "know where she's coming from" with her remarks
[16:40] <ali-work> but I do know that the thought has crossed my mind because it is unfortunately a very high and very real possibility
[16:40] <ali-work> I can't avoid that nagging "jesus fucking christ that would be so unfair" feeling
[16:40] <ali-work> which makes me feel like a shallow fuck
[16:40] <ali-work> "unfair"
[16:40] <ali-work> he could
[16:40] <ali-work> meh
[16:41] <ali-work> and im sad because I know how my life works, it takes a dump on everything I care about.
[16:41] <ali-work> I do find it would be unfair but moreso
[16:41] <ali-work> it would be so unfair to HIM
[16:41] <ali-work> meh
[16:41] <ali-work> meeeeh.
[16:41] <ali-work> Qui
[16:41] <ali-work> What do I do with that feeling.