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  1. r/DnDGreentextLong
  2. Why Some Players Need To Be Railroaded
  3. u/SeeShark
  4. Epic fantasy campaign, out to save the world
  5.  
  6. Old school AD&D, most characters are fighters
  7.  
  8. Until we get our bearings and learn the rules (fuck THAC0), DMPC is around to get us out of tight spots
  9.  
  10. Have doubts about the human fighter; he seems like a That Guy and keeps trying to derail the main quest
  11.  
  12. "It's what my character would do!"
  13.  
  14. He's the DM's friend, so we roll with it; at least he knows the rules pretty well
  15.  
  16. A couple of players are just there to play cool characters and don't care about the plot
  17.  
  18. Whatever, at least they're not actively trying to derail the game
  19.  
  20. Two guys decided to make the most useless characters ever and troll the party, but they're actually pretty funny and also aren't actively derailing anything
  21.  
  22. A few weeks in the DM decides we've got a grasp on the system (we'd fought against low-level enemies a few times) and kills off the DMPC so we can keep going on our own
  23.  
  24. Makes a big heroic sacrifice scene out of it
  25.  
  26. A bit wanky but whatever, he's entitled to his own fun every once in a while
  27.  
  28. Railroad over! Time to vigorously pursue the main quest - or so I think
  29.  
  30. That Guy immediately tries to pull everyone into some retarded backstory quest he just came up with
  31.  
  32. Party leader humors him so he shuts up ("lol yeah we can totally do your thing")
  33.  
  34. The two players with the snowflakey characters are having a good time roleplaying with NPCs and each other, so at least that's going okay
  35.  
  36. The players with the joke characters are finally starting to realize what all such players eventually do: it's only funny for a little while and then you're just fucking useless
  37.  
  38. A couple of weeks after the DMPC dies we are camping by a crossroads and this is where shit starts to go down bad
  39.  
  40. Everyone does a bit of roleplaying and gets separated into small groups
  41.  
  42. That Guy decides NOW is the time for his super special personal quest
  43.  
  44. Party leader doesn't want to piss off the player but also wants to pursue the main quest
  45.  
  46. Maybe we can still salvage this
  47.  
  48. Of course this is when we get attacked by Evil Minions
  49.  
  50. Pretty sure the DM just wants to force us to actually do something
  51.  
  52. Useless characters immediately get surrounded by bad guys, but since the DM is just trying to prod us the bad guys are "trying to capture them alive"
  53.  
  54. GoodDm.jpg
  55.  
  56. That Guy decides he's going to SAVE THE DAY and charges in to rescue them
  57.  
  58. Even the DM gets tired of his egocentric play by now
  59.  
  60. Gets hit 20 times in one round, dies instantly
  61.  
  62. DM sends him off to reroll
  63.  
  64. Pretty sure he's going to literally roll up his character's brother or some shit
  65.  
  66. Nobody can find the snowflakes, because they're roleplaying a couple miles away
  67.  
  68. Seems like they're building up to an in-character relationship, which is cool but NOW IS NOT THE TIME
  69.  
  70. Party leader can't decide if he should go help the useless characters or rally the rest of us (clearly they're not going to die any time soon)
  71.  
  72. At this point I have enough
  73.  
  74. Party is clearly nonfunctional, the DM can obviously see this
  75.  
  76. I grab the MacGuffin and start walking away when nobody's watching (am the party rogue)
  77.  
  78. One of the players, totally metagaming, follows me despite having no idea in-character where I'm going
  79.  
  80. Whatever, he's like the least obnoxious party member
  81.  
  82. The DM tries to salvage his game by any means possible, even if it means weeding out the party
  83.  
  84. Useless characters are kidnapped (their players were tired of playing them anyway)
  85.  
  86. Party leader, despite being a bit metagamey sometimes, is a good roleplayer to a fault
  87.  
  88. Decides to rescue these useless pieces of shit instead of following me as the DM suggested
  89.  
  90. Snowflakes finally show up and follow him because they literally never cared about the main quest
  91.  
  92. DM finally relents and lets us split the party
  93.  
  94. Out of a party of eight players, only two are now carrying out the main quest
  95.  
  96. MFW two halflings are going to try to save the world by themselves
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