About Time (2013)

1
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I always knew we
were a fairly odd family.

2
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,662
First there was me.

3
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Too tall. Too skinny.
Too orange.

4
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My mum was lovely,
but not like other mums.

5
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There was
something solid about her.

6
00:01:06,629 --> 00:01:09,715
Something rectangular,
busy and unsentimental.

7
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Her fashion icon was the Queen.

8
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Dad, well, he was more normal. He always
seemed to have time on his hands.

9
00:01:17,056 --> 00:01:20,350
After giving up teaching university
students on his 50th birthday,

10
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he was eternally available
for a leisurely chat or

11
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to let me win at table tennis.

12
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Yes.

13
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And then there was Mum's
brother, Uncle Desmond.

14
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Always impeccably dressed. He
spent the days just, well,

15
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being Uncle Desmond.

16
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He was the most charming and least
clever man you could ever meet.

17
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His mind was on other things,
though we never found out what.

18
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And then,
finally there was Catherine.

19
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Katie. Kit Kat. My sister.

20
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In a household of sensible jackets
and haircuts there was this,

21
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well, what can I call her,
nature thing.

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With her elfin eyes, her purple
T-shirts and her eternally bare feet,

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she was then,
and still is to me,

24
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about the most wonderful
thing in the world.

25
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All in all, it was a pretty good childhood.
Full of repeated rhythms and patterns.

26
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By the time I was 21,
we were still

27
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having tea on the beach
every single day.

28
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Skimming stones and
eating sandwiches,

29
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summer and winter,
no matter what the weather.

30
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And every Friday evening,
a film,

31
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no matter what the weather.

32
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And then once a year, the
dreaded New Year's Eve party.

33
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Yeah, I might just get one.

34
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You're absolutely gorgeous.

35
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I'm Katie. What am I drinking?

36
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This is very expensive stuff.

37
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Cheers. Cheers.

38
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Come on, it's nearly midnight.

39
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We're all going through.
We're going through.

40
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Look, I've gotta find you a...

41
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God!

42
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Everyone makes little mistakes.
It's fine. Come on.

43
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6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

44
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Happy New Year!

45
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Happy New Year.

46
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Sorry.

47
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And so I woke up
the next morning,

48
00:04:02,388 --> 00:04:05,140
hung-over, ashamed of myself,

49
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and not realising
it was the day

50
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that would change
my life forever.

51
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Get up, stupid.

52
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Dad wants you.

53
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Hello. Sexy pajamas.

54
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Tim, come in.

55
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Do

56
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sit down.

57
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That's very formal.

58
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Well, um, yeah.

59
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This is an odd moment for me

60
00:04:38,216 --> 00:04:40,258
because I had
the same moment with my

61
00:04:40,343 --> 00:04:42,844
father when I'd just
turned 21, and after it,

62
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my life was never the same, so I
approach it pretty, um, nervously.

63
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Okay.

64
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When you're ready.
It's all very mysterious.

65
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Right.

66
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Tim, my dear son, the...

67
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The simple fact is
the men in this family

68
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have always had
the ability to...

69
00:05:07,245 --> 00:05:09,204
This is going to sound strange,

70
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be prepared for strangeness.
Get ready for spooky time,

71
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but there's this family secret.

72
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And the secret is that
the men in the family can

73
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travel in time.

74
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Well, more accurately,
travel back in time.

75
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We can't travel
into the future.

76
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This is such a weird joke.

77
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It's seriously not a joke.

78
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So you're saying that you and
granddad, and his brothers

79
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could all travel back in time?
Absolutely.

80
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And you still do? Absolutely.

81
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Although it's not as dramatic as it sounds.
It's only in my own life.

82
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I can only go to places where I
actually was and can remember.

83
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I can't kill Hitler or shag
Helen of Troy, unfortunately.

84
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Okay, stop.

85
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Um...

86
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if it's true, which it isn't.
Although it is.

87
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Although it isn't, obviously. But if
it was, which it's not. Which it is.

88
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Which it isn't.
But if it was, how would I...

89
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The ?'How?' is
the easy bit, in fact.

90
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You go into a dark place,
big cupboards are

91
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very useful generally.
Toilets, at a pinch.

92
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Then you clench
your fists like this.

93
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Think of the moment
you're going to

94
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and you'll find yourself there.

95
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After a bit of a stumble
and a rumble and a tumble.

96
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Wow.

97
00:06:27,325 --> 00:06:29,326
Is as good a reaction as any.

98
00:06:29,452 --> 00:06:33,622
I think I plumped for ?'fuck!?'
but it was the '70s.

99
00:06:33,748 --> 00:06:35,290
No, this is
so obviously a joke.

100
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It's not a joke.

101
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Why would I lie to someone I'm

102
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fairly fond of?

103
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Okay.

104
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But, when I come
back downstairs

105
00:06:44,675 --> 00:06:47,344
after standing in a cupboard
with my fists clenched,

106
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you're gonna be
in so much trouble.

107
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Well,
let's see, shall we?

108
00:06:53,810 --> 00:06:56,686
And, Tim, try and
do something interesting.

109
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So much trouble.

110
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I mean it. Really.

111
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Right.

112
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Wow!

113
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You all right, Tim?

114
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Yes. Yeah. Good, ace. Yeah.

115
00:08:05,965 --> 00:08:08,800
Good, come on. it's nearly
midnight and we've got to find...

116
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Whoa, whoa, whoa!

117
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Whoo! Midnight.

118
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10, 9, 8, 7,

119
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6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

120
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Happy New Year!

121
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Thank you, Tim.

122
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You're welcome, Polly.

123
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Does Mum know?

124
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Not a whistle.

125
00:09:03,814 --> 00:09:06,829
Strange. And what about the whole...
Butterfly effect thing. What can I say?

126
00:09:06,867 --> 00:09:09,118
We don't seem to have
messed up civilisation yet.

127
00:09:09,145 --> 00:09:10,520
It’s gonna be
a complicated year.

128
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It’s gonna be
a complicated life.

129
00:09:12,823 --> 00:09:15,450
What have you
done with it?

130
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For me,
it's books, books, books.

131
00:09:17,828 --> 00:09:19,955
I've read everything
a man could wish to.

132
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Twice. Dickens three times.
Any first thoughts?

133
00:09:25,461 --> 00:09:28,797
Well, I suppose apart from getting
a slightly better haircut... Yeah.

134
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Money would be
the obvious thing.

135
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Very mixed blessing.

136
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Utterly screwed up
your grandfather's life.

137
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Left him without
love or friends.

138
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I've never bumped into a
genuinely happy rich person.

139
00:09:37,932 --> 00:09:39,933
It would be nice
not to have to work.

140
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No, that's a real
recipe for disaster.

141
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Look what happened to Uncle Fred.
What happened to Uncle Fred?

142
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Absolutely sod all.

143
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Wasted his life.

144
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You have to use it for
things that you really think

145
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will make your life
the way you want it to be.

146
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Come on,
really think about this.

147
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Well,

148
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to be honest,
I suppose, at the moment,

149
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it would be just great if it
could help me get a girlfriend.

150
00:10:03,332 --> 00:10:04,749
Wow.

151
00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:08,211
Massive. Yeah.

152
00:10:09,297 --> 00:10:10,964
The mother ship.

153
00:10:12,925 --> 00:10:16,052
For me, it was always
gonna be about love.

154
00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:18,972
And that summer I walked
into the eye of the storm.

155
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Her name was Charlotte.
Cousin of Kit Kat's

156
00:10:23,436 --> 00:10:25,895
handsome but
nasty boyfriend Jimmy.

157
00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:30,734
And she was staying
for two whole months.

158
00:10:34,572 --> 00:10:36,573
Just one. Not both of them.

159
00:10:38,826 --> 00:10:39,826
Tim,

160
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will you do my back?

161
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Absolutely!

162
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Very keen!

163
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Whoa! No. No.

164
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No. No, no. No, no, no.

165
00:10:59,096 --> 00:11:00,597
Is it in my hair? Yes!

166
00:11:08,481 --> 00:11:12,067
Tim. Will you do my back?

167
00:11:12,276 --> 00:11:14,652
Sure. Just give us a sec.

168
00:11:16,989 --> 00:11:17,989
Okay.

169
00:11:30,503 --> 00:11:31,961
Thank you.

170
00:11:34,423 --> 00:11:35,423
Now...

171
00:11:42,973 --> 00:11:44,307
Ooh. Nice.

172
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It’s my area.

173
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it was a summer of
suntan and torture.

174
00:11:53,275 --> 00:11:55,068
I invited my foolish friend
Jay around for tennis

175
00:11:55,152 --> 00:11:57,404
because I thought
he'd make me look good.

176
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:04,285
I was wrong!

177
00:12:04,954 --> 00:12:06,621
What are you doing? No.

178
00:12:10,292 --> 00:12:12,252
Charlotte just made both
of us look like idiots.

179
00:12:12,336 --> 00:12:13,837
Bad luck, Tim.

180
00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:21,010
How the hell are you meant
to concentrate on your game?

181
00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:23,763
How are you meant
to live your life

182
00:12:23,889 --> 00:12:26,015
with this sort of
shit going down?

183
00:12:27,601 --> 00:12:30,353
It never got better
until suddenly

184
00:12:30,855 --> 00:12:32,939
it was almost too late.

185
00:12:33,482 --> 00:12:35,817
Well, Charlotte,
our final lunch.

186
00:12:35,943 --> 00:12:37,193
No!

187
00:12:37,486 --> 00:12:40,822
And it's been really, really
lovely having you all summer.

188
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it has.

189
00:12:42,116 --> 00:12:43,158
Thank you.
Thank you.

190
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,534
It really has.

191
00:12:44,702 --> 00:12:45,952
Hasn't it, Desmond?

192
00:12:46,203 --> 00:12:47,245
Beg your pardon?

193
00:12:47,329 --> 00:12:49,497
Lovely having
Charlotte here all summer.

194
00:12:49,874 --> 00:12:51,332
Charlotte? Who's Charlotte?

195
00:12:51,459 --> 00:12:53,710
Come on, darling. Charlotte,
sitting next to you.

196
00:12:55,004 --> 00:12:58,339
Yes, of course. Of course.
Charlotte. Hi.

197
00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:00,550
Lovely to meet you.

198
00:13:05,014 --> 00:13:08,349
Have you enjoyed having
Charlotte here all summer, Tim?

199
00:13:09,977 --> 00:13:10,977
Yeah.

200
00:13:12,062 --> 00:13:13,396
There goes August.

201
00:13:13,564 --> 00:13:15,528
I've introduced him to
most things, haven't I?

202
00:13:15,566 --> 00:13:18,067
You did. You were
much more sophisticated.

203
00:13:18,235 --> 00:13:20,904
In a quiet way,
I like to think.

204
00:13:34,752 --> 00:13:36,085
Come in.

205
00:13:38,422 --> 00:13:39,672
Charlotte. Yeah!

206
00:13:43,594 --> 00:13:47,222
As it's your last night,
can I ask you a question?

207
00:13:48,098 --> 00:13:49,849
Yeah. Ask away.

208
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:51,518
No, wait.

209
00:13:52,853 --> 00:13:55,939
It’s not going to
be about love, is it?

210
00:13:56,106 --> 00:13:57,607
Love? What?

211
00:13:57,733 --> 00:14:01,277
Well, it's just that Kit Kat warned me that
if you were to ever mention it, I should be

212
00:14:01,403 --> 00:14:03,571
very firm with you and tell you

213
00:14:03,697 --> 00:14:05,865
you must treat me
like your sister

214
00:14:05,950 --> 00:14:07,408
and not be stupid.

215
00:14:08,285 --> 00:14:11,287
Or have I just made
a total fool of myself

216
00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:13,014
and you were actually
going to ask me for

217
00:14:13,123 --> 00:14:14,707
late night last
minute tennis tips?

218
00:14:15,543 --> 00:14:17,377
No, it was the love thing.

219
00:14:17,461 --> 00:14:19,128
Well.

220
00:14:20,297 --> 00:14:22,590
That's very sweet of you.

221
00:14:23,425 --> 00:14:26,719
It’s just a shame you
left it till the last night.

222
00:14:26,804 --> 00:14:31,641
You should have tried creeping along
the corridor while we still had time.

223
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,811
Okay, the ?'last night?'
was a bad idea?

224
00:14:34,979 --> 00:14:39,816
Very bad idea. it feels like an ever
so slightly insulting afterthought.

225
00:14:40,276 --> 00:14:42,485
?'Last night?' was
never going to work.

226
00:14:43,153 --> 00:14:46,155
All right. Good. I've got it.

227
00:15:06,594 --> 00:15:07,927
Come in.

228
00:15:09,346 --> 00:15:11,264
Tim. Hi. Charlotte.

229
00:15:12,641 --> 00:15:14,350
Hi. Sit down.

230
00:15:16,812 --> 00:15:19,689
I know you've
probably suspected this,

231
00:15:19,857 --> 00:15:23,443
but over the last month I've fallen
completely in love with you.

232
00:15:25,195 --> 00:15:27,864
Now obviously
this was gonna happen

233
00:15:28,115 --> 00:15:32,118
because you're
a goddess with that face

234
00:15:32,202 --> 00:15:33,995
and that hair,

235
00:15:34,288 --> 00:15:37,290
but even if you
didn't have a nice face,

236
00:15:38,292 --> 00:15:40,960
and even if you had
absolutely no hair

237
00:15:41,211 --> 00:15:43,796
because of some
bizarre medical reason,

238
00:15:45,215 --> 00:15:47,175
I'd still adore you,

239
00:15:47,718 --> 00:15:48,718
and I...

240
00:15:49,219 --> 00:15:53,890
I just wondered whether, by any
chance, you might share my feelings.

241
00:15:55,225 --> 00:15:56,225
Wow.

242
00:15:57,561 --> 00:15:59,437
I tell you what.

243
00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:02,065
Why don't we see
how the summer goes

244
00:16:02,149 --> 00:16:05,985
and then you ask me
again on my last night?

245
00:16:07,863 --> 00:16:09,656
Your last night? Yes.

246
00:16:10,032 --> 00:16:14,035
Try me on the last night. See
what happens then, shall we?

247
00:16:14,995 --> 00:16:16,245
It’s exciting.

248
00:16:16,664 --> 00:16:17,664
Right.

249
00:16:18,248 --> 00:16:22,460
No, it's a perfect plan. That's
absolutely perfect. Last night.

250
00:16:22,586 --> 00:16:24,003
Last night.

251
00:16:26,882 --> 00:16:28,466
Thanks very much.

252
00:16:29,635 --> 00:16:31,135
Night-night, Timmy.

253
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:40,436
Big lesson number one,

254
00:16:40,562 --> 00:16:43,731
all the time travel in the world
can't make someone love you.

255
00:16:43,857 --> 00:16:44,857
Bye!

256
00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:48,277
So the love of my life
just drove away.

257
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:53,533
And the very next day
it was my turn to leave.

258
00:16:56,286 --> 00:16:59,288
There you go. Don't
spend it all at once.

259
00:17:00,999 --> 00:17:01,999
Thanks.

260
00:17:03,502 --> 00:17:07,422
Don't call too often, your mother
doesn't like to be disturbed.

261
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:09,716
Okay. Thanks.

262
00:17:28,110 --> 00:17:32,488
I caught the train to London in
search of a future and a girlfriend.

263
00:17:35,159 --> 00:17:37,410
I was staying in St John's
Wood, near Abbey Road,

264
00:17:37,494 --> 00:17:40,663
with a playwright friend
of my dad's called Harry.

265
00:17:40,956 --> 00:17:44,709
It's always nice to have family connections
when you're a new kid in town.

266
00:17:57,639 --> 00:18:01,392
What the fuck do you want?

267
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:04,729
I'm James's son.

268
00:18:04,855 --> 00:18:06,022
Who?

269
00:18:07,232 --> 00:18:09,358
James Lake. What about him?

270
00:18:12,029 --> 00:18:13,780
He said you had a room.

271
00:18:15,199 --> 00:18:17,617
Go in there and wait.

272
00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:21,954
Quietly. I mean it,
don't make a sound.

273
00:18:22,873 --> 00:18:24,457
Or I'll kill you.

274
00:18:35,052 --> 00:18:37,595
I was actually having the first
good idea I've had for a decade

275
00:18:37,679 --> 00:18:39,222
when you rang on the doorbell.

276
00:18:39,890 --> 00:18:41,641
But now it's gone.

277
00:18:42,434 --> 00:18:44,393
You little shit.

278
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,103
How's your dad?

279
00:18:46,396 --> 00:18:50,483
Weird cock, I always thought.
Something weird about him.

280
00:18:50,609 --> 00:18:51,400
Really?

281
00:18:51,485 --> 00:18:53,986
Yeah, I never really
liked him, actually.

282
00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:57,532
Your mum still
look like Andy Warhol?

283
00:18:57,658 --> 00:18:58,658
What?

284
00:19:00,035 --> 00:19:02,620
That, by the way, is my wife.

285
00:19:02,788 --> 00:19:04,247
Nice.

286
00:19:04,373 --> 00:19:05,813
Yeah, you wouldn't
like her at first.

287
00:19:07,084 --> 00:19:09,001
Sarcastic cow.

288
00:19:10,128 --> 00:19:12,296
But eventually
you'd realise that

289
00:19:12,798 --> 00:19:15,466
she's the best human
being in the world.

290
00:19:16,218 --> 00:19:18,469
Which is why she
left me, of course.

291
00:19:21,014 --> 00:19:22,598
Here you go.

292
00:19:23,225 --> 00:19:26,978
Try not to make too much noise,
particularly when having sex.

293
00:19:27,604 --> 00:19:28,646
No chance of that.

294
00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:31,440
Christ,
two losers in one house.

295
00:19:31,984 --> 00:19:33,526
That is my daughter.

296
00:19:35,153 --> 00:19:38,823
Have sex with her if you like.
Apparently everyone else has.

297
00:19:41,118 --> 00:19:43,578
It wasn't a hopeful
set-up for romance.

298
00:19:44,329 --> 00:19:46,998
And work didn't help
on that score either.

299
00:19:47,416 --> 00:19:50,126
The world of law seems to
be entirely full of men.

300
00:19:52,337 --> 00:19:56,674
Hello. I'm Rory. Very pleased to meet you.
A real thrill.

301
00:19:57,134 --> 00:20:00,761
Well, who knows, we might become,
you know, pals, et cetera.

302
00:20:02,139 --> 00:20:03,848
Who the hell are you? Tim Lake.

303
00:20:04,266 --> 00:20:06,100
Well, I hope you're
better than this clown.

304
00:20:06,768 --> 00:20:08,269
Come on, Roger.

305
00:20:08,395 --> 00:20:09,896
It’s Rory, actually.

306
00:20:10,022 --> 00:20:11,564
I've been here
a year and a half.

307
00:20:11,648 --> 00:20:14,233
I'm just saying that to be nice.
It's two years actually.

308
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:20,907
So six lonely months went by
and it was still just me and Harry.

309
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:23,534
Me lawyer-ing every hour
of the day and night.

310
00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:26,913
And him putting the finishing
touches to his new play.

311
00:20:28,916 --> 00:20:31,542
No matter how many girls
there were in the world,

312
00:20:31,668 --> 00:20:34,795
I always seemed to
end up with Rory.

313
00:20:34,922 --> 00:20:35,922
Hello.

314
00:20:36,298 --> 00:20:38,090
Until, out of the blue,

315
00:20:38,550 --> 00:20:43,471
on a dodgy night out with dodgy
Jay, something miraculous happened.

316
00:20:44,139 --> 00:20:45,973
The waiters are,

317
00:20:46,350 --> 00:20:48,059
wait for this,
right, they're blind.

318
00:20:48,143 --> 00:20:49,268
You're kidding me?

319
00:20:49,394 --> 00:20:52,897
I'm kidding you not.
No, as bats. As bats!

320
00:20:53,357 --> 00:20:54,982
Very good to
have you here, gentlemen.

321
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,984
I hope you enjoy
your experience.

322
00:20:57,069 --> 00:20:59,195
Carlo will show
you to your table.

323
00:20:59,321 --> 00:21:01,572
Great. Lead on, maestro.

324
00:21:01,698 --> 00:21:04,283
Can I have your right hand on
my right shoulder, please?

325
00:21:04,368 --> 00:21:06,786
And your friend hold on to your shoulder.
Thank you.

326
00:21:10,415 --> 00:21:13,918
Mind the stairs and
be prepared because

327
00:21:14,169 --> 00:21:16,420
it's completely dark.

328
00:21:18,382 --> 00:21:20,091
Okay, gentlemen,
if you don't mind,

329
00:21:20,175 --> 00:21:22,551
I can sit you here beside
these two young ladies.

330
00:21:22,636 --> 00:21:24,720
No, no.
Sounds absolutely perfect!

331
00:21:24,846 --> 00:21:27,014
God,
you sound very perky.

332
00:21:27,099 --> 00:21:28,474
I am. And very handsome.

333
00:21:29,643 --> 00:21:31,227
Someone's there.

334
00:21:31,353 --> 00:21:33,521
Hi. Hi. I'm Mary.

335
00:21:33,647 --> 00:21:36,315
I'm Tim. Mary's my
mother's name, actually.

336
00:21:36,441 --> 00:21:39,026
Does it suit her? Sort of.

337
00:21:39,152 --> 00:21:42,613
Although she's sturdy, so Bernard
might have been a better fit.

338
00:21:44,032 --> 00:21:45,032
Okay.

339
00:21:45,409 --> 00:21:48,119
Something just
touched my elbow.

340
00:21:48,245 --> 00:21:49,578
Okay, that wasn't me.

341
00:21:49,663 --> 00:21:53,082
No. Well, that just makes it worse.
If it wasn't you, who was it?

342
00:21:53,208 --> 00:21:56,419
it wasn't me because I'm
touching something else.

343
00:21:56,545 --> 00:21:59,171
Yes, and you'll stop
that right away, thank you.

344
00:21:59,548 --> 00:22:04,135
So, girls, be honest,
who is more beautiful?

345
00:22:04,219 --> 00:22:05,761
- I am.
- Yeah. She is.

346
00:22:05,887 --> 00:22:07,013
Excellent!

347
00:22:07,139 --> 00:22:08,681
Actually,
I look like Kate Moss.

348
00:22:08,807 --> 00:22:10,349
Really?

349
00:22:10,475 --> 00:22:13,310
No. I sort of
look like a squirrel.

350
00:22:14,688 --> 00:22:16,022
Do you like Kate Moss?

351
00:22:16,148 --> 00:22:17,523
I absolutely love her.

352
00:22:17,649 --> 00:22:20,818
In fact, I almost wore one of
her dresses here tonight. You?

353
00:22:20,944 --> 00:22:23,154
No, no, her clothes
look terrible on me.

354
00:22:25,657 --> 00:22:28,034
I cannot believe that it's
your birthday next week as well.

355
00:22:28,118 --> 00:22:32,163
Your friend Jay is
quite enthusiastic.

356
00:22:32,456 --> 00:22:34,582
I actually hate him.

357
00:22:34,708 --> 00:22:35,624
What's Joanna like?

358
00:22:35,751 --> 00:22:38,502
- She's basically a prostitute.
- Yeah.

359
00:22:39,254 --> 00:22:41,172
I think it's strawberry mousse.
Ooh!

360
00:22:41,256 --> 00:22:42,381
Do you want some?

361
00:22:42,466 --> 00:22:43,799
Um... Okay. I'll try it.

362
00:22:43,884 --> 00:22:45,092
Okay, where's your mouth?

363
00:22:45,177 --> 00:22:46,802
It’s...

364
00:22:47,679 --> 00:22:49,055
it's here.

365
00:22:49,181 --> 00:22:50,514
Okay. There?

366
00:22:50,682 --> 00:22:52,475
My God, what was that?

367
00:22:52,601 --> 00:22:54,393
That's my eye.

368
00:22:54,519 --> 00:22:57,396
I think there's a lot of...
I've got quite a lot of

369
00:22:57,481 --> 00:22:59,523
strawberry mousse
in my eye now!

370
00:22:59,649 --> 00:23:00,941
I'm so sorry.

371
00:23:01,026 --> 00:23:04,278
No. Thank you. That's
a new sensation for me.

372
00:23:06,823 --> 00:23:10,409
So, maybe I'll see
you outside or...

373
00:23:10,744 --> 00:23:12,411
Yeah. Yeah, great.

374
00:23:12,537 --> 00:23:14,330
Great. Scary.

375
00:23:14,456 --> 00:23:16,707
Yeah, it's a bit scary.

376
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,169
My God, I'm so in there.
What about you?

377
00:23:20,295 --> 00:23:23,005
I don't know,
but she sounded wonderful.

378
00:23:23,090 --> 00:23:24,298
Shh!

379
00:23:25,509 --> 00:23:27,218
Joanna? Jay.

380
00:23:27,344 --> 00:23:29,428
Christ, you're a babe.

381
00:23:29,554 --> 00:23:31,180
How do you fancy
stretching the night

382
00:23:31,306 --> 00:23:32,890
out a bit?
I can ditch the loser.

383
00:23:33,016 --> 00:23:35,935
We've got to rush, but help me find a
cab and I might give you my number.

384
00:23:36,019 --> 00:23:37,019
Of course. Yeah.

385
00:23:37,104 --> 00:23:38,817
Or I might not.
Haven't decided yet. So...

386
00:23:38,855 --> 00:23:40,356
I have. it's not gonna happen.

387
00:24:07,884 --> 00:24:09,635
Hi. Hi.

388
00:24:10,929 --> 00:24:13,305
Where's... She
and Jay just...

389
00:24:13,431 --> 00:24:16,058
She took him to...
I don't know.

390
00:24:16,184 --> 00:24:17,184
Right.

391
00:24:17,352 --> 00:24:19,520
Well, I guess I'd better...

392
00:24:19,646 --> 00:24:23,315
Would it be very wrong if I
asked you for your number?

393
00:24:25,318 --> 00:24:26,318
No.

394
00:24:26,653 --> 00:24:29,697
Just in case I ever
had to call you about...

395
00:24:30,323 --> 00:24:31,866
Stuff? -

396
00:24:32,617 --> 00:24:33,617
Okay.

397
00:24:37,831 --> 00:24:39,165
Would you...

398
00:24:39,875 --> 00:24:41,083
it's Mary.

399
00:24:41,251 --> 00:24:42,459
Mary.

400
00:24:44,629 --> 00:24:45,880
Okay.

401
00:24:46,506 --> 00:24:48,674
I thought this phone
was old and shit,

402
00:24:49,384 --> 00:24:51,594
but suddenly it's my most
valuable possession.

403
00:24:52,637 --> 00:24:54,430
You really like me?

404
00:24:56,099 --> 00:24:58,684
Even my frock?

405
00:24:58,810 --> 00:25:00,936
I love your frock.

406
00:25:01,563 --> 00:25:05,149
And my hair?
It's not too brown?

407
00:25:05,483 --> 00:25:07,026
I love brown.

408
00:25:08,737 --> 00:25:10,029
My fringe is new.

409
00:25:10,113 --> 00:25:12,323
The fringe is perfect.
Fringe is the best bit.

410
00:25:12,407 --> 00:25:13,532
Mary!

411
00:25:13,658 --> 00:25:16,994
We have to go! I found a cab and his
dodgy friend is about to assault me.

412
00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,455
Okay, I'm coming.

413
00:25:19,581 --> 00:25:21,165
Two seconds.

414
00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:23,959
I hope I see you again.

415
00:25:24,586 --> 00:25:25,711
You will.

416
00:25:26,254 --> 00:25:28,589
Okay. Good.

417
00:25:30,175 --> 00:25:33,552
Goodnight.

418
00:26:10,966 --> 00:26:12,549
What's happened?

419
00:26:12,801 --> 00:26:14,885
What have you done,
you poor thing?

420
00:26:15,178 --> 00:26:18,097
Nothing.
It's just a flesh wound.

421
00:26:18,223 --> 00:26:19,515
Here. Thank you.

422
00:26:23,144 --> 00:26:25,312
You may remember,
my play opened tonight.

423
00:26:25,897 --> 00:26:27,481
My God, yes. How did it go?

424
00:26:27,607 --> 00:26:29,149
Well. it went well.

425
00:26:29,526 --> 00:26:33,070
You could tell in the room a
masterpiece was being unfurled.

426
00:26:33,196 --> 00:26:35,197
Really? Really.

427
00:26:35,323 --> 00:26:38,867
Until, and this is the
crucial plot point, I think,

428
00:26:38,994 --> 00:26:43,747
until the lead actor had the most
massive dry in the history of theatre.

429
00:26:43,873 --> 00:26:45,416
No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes.

430
00:26:46,876 --> 00:26:48,460
He didn't just
forget his lines.

431
00:26:48,586 --> 00:26:50,129
He forgot his lines
to the extent

432
00:26:50,213 --> 00:26:52,631
that no actor has ever
forgotten their lines

433
00:26:52,757 --> 00:26:55,134
before in
the annals of dramatic art.

434
00:26:55,677 --> 00:26:59,054
The reviews won't say,?'Major masterpiece
gets unveiled, ?'

435
00:26:59,139 --> 00:27:02,808
they'll say, ?'Major
actor gets Alzheimer's.?'

436
00:27:03,476 --> 00:27:04,977
it's a disaster.

437
00:27:05,895 --> 00:27:07,604
Is an understatement.

438
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:13,068
It’s the Titanic of play
openings, but with no survivors.

439
00:27:13,737 --> 00:27:16,071
No women, no children,

440
00:27:16,489 --> 00:27:18,741
not even Kate Winslet.

441
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:20,868
All dead.

442
00:27:22,537 --> 00:27:24,163
Okay. I'll see what I can do.

443
00:27:24,247 --> 00:27:25,622
What does that mean?

444
00:27:26,416 --> 00:27:28,375
What are you gonna do?
Ring up every critic

445
00:27:28,501 --> 00:27:30,419
in London and
offer them a blow job

446
00:27:30,545 --> 00:27:35,257
if they ignore the fact that we sat
in total silence for half an hour

447
00:27:35,383 --> 00:27:40,471
waiting for a moron to
remember one single line?

448
00:27:40,597 --> 00:27:42,348
Not quite that.

449
00:27:58,990 --> 00:27:59,990
Hello.

450
00:28:03,620 --> 00:28:08,791
Hello, Sir Tom. I'm a friend of Harry's.
How's it going with the lines?

451
00:28:10,126 --> 00:28:12,378
I'm sorry,
what do you mean ?'the lines?'?

452
00:28:13,129 --> 00:28:14,797
It’s just, you know,
in the court scenes,

453
00:28:14,881 --> 00:28:17,591
some of those lines
are pretty complex.

454
00:28:17,717 --> 00:28:20,094
And I just thought maybe it
might be worth, you know,

455
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,179
having one last
look at the lines

456
00:28:22,263 --> 00:28:25,641
before you go on.
A little refresher.

457
00:28:26,893 --> 00:28:29,144
Fuck off out of here.

458
00:28:29,270 --> 00:28:34,024
You arising lunatic. Get out!
You ginger twerp. Go on!

459
00:28:34,150 --> 00:28:35,901
Patronising piece of...

460
00:28:47,997 --> 00:28:50,416
And now the Defense.

461
00:29:00,802 --> 00:29:05,472
I have lived
many weary years...

462
00:29:05,765 --> 00:29:07,808
it's brilliant... but never,

463
00:29:07,934 --> 00:29:11,979
in that long catalogue
of wasted time,

464
00:29:12,647 --> 00:29:17,109
have I ever seen such an atrocious
miscarriage of justice.

465
00:29:22,323 --> 00:29:26,660
Do the Prosecution have
anything final to add?

466
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,332
Sorry, excuse me. Sorry.

467
00:30:20,673 --> 00:30:25,260
Do the Prosecution have
anything final to add?

468
00:30:32,352 --> 00:30:33,435
Psst!

469
00:30:40,860 --> 00:30:41,902
Gentlemen...

470
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,280
Gentlemen,

471
00:30:45,823 --> 00:30:50,327
I regard today's proceedings
with the utmost gravity.

472
00:30:50,453 --> 00:30:52,204
Nevertheless,

473
00:30:52,789 --> 00:30:55,666
let us be clear of one

474
00:30:57,544 --> 00:31:00,379
simple and salient thing.

475
00:31:03,383 --> 00:31:05,133
It is the life

476
00:31:05,718 --> 00:31:07,678
of a guilty man!

477
00:31:18,982 --> 00:31:22,568
One of the actors appeared
to have actually fallen asleep...

478
00:31:22,652 --> 00:31:26,113
Here's the little prick who
walked out halfway through.

479
00:31:26,197 --> 00:31:28,115
You missed the best scene,
you little twerp.

480
00:31:28,241 --> 00:31:29,241
Sorry.

481
00:31:29,659 --> 00:31:31,827
What did you think of the set?

482
00:31:32,161 --> 00:31:33,370
I thought it was incredible.

483
00:31:33,454 --> 00:31:36,582
Did you? I didn't. Too brown.

484
00:31:39,919 --> 00:31:41,086
Mary!

485
00:31:43,131 --> 00:31:44,798
No.

486
00:31:45,633 --> 00:31:47,175
She's gone.

487
00:32:02,358 --> 00:32:06,361
Two girls in earlier tonight. One of
them the prettiest girl in the world.

488
00:32:06,487 --> 00:32:08,388
The other one like a
sort of nice prostitute.

489
00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:10,365
Did you get their names?

490
00:32:10,491 --> 00:32:14,286
Yes. They left
a while ago. Let's see.

491
00:32:15,330 --> 00:32:17,789
No, I'm afraid
they were walk-ins

492
00:32:17,915 --> 00:32:20,375
and it appears
they paid by cash.

493
00:32:20,793 --> 00:32:22,502
Sorry, sir.

494
00:32:22,629 --> 00:32:24,389
That's okay.
That's fine, it's brilliant.

495
00:32:24,714 --> 00:32:27,841
It’s just the end of my life.
Thanks so much.

496
00:32:49,072 --> 00:32:51,073
Cheer up, mate.

497
00:32:51,407 --> 00:32:55,243
Apparently, you're living with
Britain's greatest living playwright.

498
00:32:55,578 --> 00:32:57,079
I don't usually
read them, obviously,

499
00:32:57,246 --> 00:32:58,747
but I couldn't resist this one.

500
00:32:58,915 --> 00:33:03,919
?'Harry Chapman
found guilty of genius.?'

501
00:33:10,843 --> 00:33:12,135
I have to go out. Right now.

502
00:33:12,261 --> 00:33:13,595
Why?

503
00:33:13,721 --> 00:33:15,514
She loves Kate Moss.

504
00:33:59,142 --> 00:34:00,976
Thanks for keeping
me company, Kittle.

505
00:34:01,144 --> 00:34:02,769
Nothing better to do.

506
00:34:02,895 --> 00:34:03,979
How's Jimmy?

507
00:34:04,147 --> 00:34:05,147
Dumped me.

508
00:34:05,273 --> 00:34:06,273
Not again.

509
00:34:06,399 --> 00:34:08,108
And work? They've sacked me.

510
00:34:08,234 --> 00:34:09,234
Idiots.

511
00:34:09,777 --> 00:34:11,486
Coffee? Please.

512
00:34:12,155 --> 00:34:15,449
I've only just noticed this cat
in this picture. See that cat?

513
00:34:15,575 --> 00:34:18,452
I do see that cat.
It's very good.

514
00:34:19,495 --> 00:34:20,996
My God.

515
00:34:21,956 --> 00:34:23,081
My God!

516
00:34:23,207 --> 00:34:24,332
What?

517
00:34:24,959 --> 00:34:26,334
it's her.

518
00:34:28,087 --> 00:34:29,671
It’s her!

519
00:34:30,757 --> 00:34:32,257
That's her!

520
00:34:33,342 --> 00:34:34,760
Shh!

521
00:34:38,014 --> 00:34:39,598
You go, girl.

522
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:52,360
Sorry.

523
00:34:53,529 --> 00:34:55,322
Hi. Hi.

524
00:34:57,492 --> 00:34:58,867
How are you?

525
00:34:59,619 --> 00:35:01,703
I'm... I'm fine.

526
00:35:02,038 --> 00:35:04,206
It’s so good to see you.

527
00:35:04,373 --> 00:35:06,541
Um... We've never met before.

528
00:35:07,877 --> 00:35:09,836
No, fuck.

529
00:35:10,463 --> 00:35:12,506
No, of course we haven't. No.

530
00:35:12,632 --> 00:35:15,675
Sorry, I think you've
mistaken me for someone else.

531
00:35:15,802 --> 00:35:17,469
No, no, no.

532
00:35:18,137 --> 00:35:19,805
Your name's Mary.

533
00:35:21,057 --> 00:35:23,850
That's distinctly weird.

534
00:35:23,976 --> 00:35:25,852
How do you know that?

535
00:35:26,854 --> 00:35:28,730
Well, you look like a Mary.

536
00:35:29,232 --> 00:35:30,524
In what way?

537
00:35:30,650 --> 00:35:31,900
My mum's called Mary.

538
00:35:32,068 --> 00:35:33,527
I look like your mother?

539
00:35:34,070 --> 00:35:36,196
No. You're much prettier.

540
00:35:39,408 --> 00:35:40,826
It’s a nice fringe, by the way.

541
00:35:40,952 --> 00:35:42,369
God, it's new and

542
00:35:42,495 --> 00:35:44,412
probably too short but... No.

543
00:35:44,580 --> 00:35:47,415
Well, gee, thank you and

544
00:35:47,583 --> 00:35:49,918
listen, it was
really nice to meet you.

545
00:35:50,086 --> 00:35:53,672
I should probably go because
my friend's waiting for me

546
00:35:53,756 --> 00:35:56,174
and you're a,
you're a total stranger.

547
00:35:56,425 --> 00:35:57,843
Total stranger.

548
00:35:57,969 --> 00:35:59,344
Yeah, it's crazy stuff.

549
00:35:59,428 --> 00:36:01,263
Yeah, kind of. Okay.

550
00:36:01,389 --> 00:36:02,764
Bye, Mary. Bye.

551
00:36:06,060 --> 00:36:07,018
No.

552
00:36:07,103 --> 00:36:08,270
How did it go?

553
00:36:08,396 --> 00:36:09,521
It was very poor.

554
00:36:09,605 --> 00:36:10,939
Very poor indeed, yeah.

555
00:36:11,107 --> 00:36:12,440
You gotta go again.

556
00:36:13,359 --> 00:36:15,277
You can do it. Take two.

557
00:36:18,698 --> 00:36:22,033
She just always... She
always looks different.

558
00:36:23,786 --> 00:36:26,121
Sorry. it's me again.

559
00:36:26,622 --> 00:36:28,248
Hi. Sorry.

560
00:36:28,958 --> 00:36:30,750
Joanna, this is...

561
00:36:31,210 --> 00:36:32,419
Tim.

562
00:36:32,545 --> 00:36:33,712
Hello. Nice to meet you.

563
00:36:36,299 --> 00:36:39,968
Tim is a total stranger whose
mother's name is Mary.

564
00:36:40,094 --> 00:36:42,804
I just had a weird
experience with Mary here

565
00:36:42,889 --> 00:36:45,432
of thinking she was someone else.
But she wasn't.

566
00:36:45,558 --> 00:36:49,769
But I just wondered if I
could walk round with you

567
00:36:50,730 --> 00:36:54,649
for a while because my sister
Kit Kat is about to leave...

568
00:36:54,775 --> 00:36:55,775
Yeah.

569
00:36:58,404 --> 00:37:00,071
Bye... and...

570
00:37:00,406 --> 00:37:01,823
And so,

571
00:37:02,742 --> 00:37:04,993
I'm about to be quite lonely.

572
00:37:05,661 --> 00:37:09,956
Right. Well, I think we
should probably say no.

573
00:37:10,082 --> 00:37:13,168
No, yes. But on the other hand,
he's got a quite nice smile

574
00:37:13,294 --> 00:37:15,337
and sort of,
you know, fun hair.

575
00:37:17,089 --> 00:37:18,089
Yeah.

576
00:37:19,133 --> 00:37:20,508
All right.

577
00:37:21,010 --> 00:37:25,013
But you have to promise that you are
not one of the following things.

578
00:37:25,181 --> 00:37:26,806
One, a lunatic.

579
00:37:26,891 --> 00:37:28,016
Yeah. No.

580
00:37:28,184 --> 00:37:30,977
Two, a fringe fetishist.

581
00:37:31,312 --> 00:37:34,314
I'm just Kate Moss's
number one male fan.

582
00:37:36,108 --> 00:37:37,651
God. Really?

583
00:37:37,777 --> 00:37:39,110
Yeah. God, yeah.

584
00:37:39,195 --> 00:37:42,530
Do you agree that the magic
of her lies in her history?

585
00:37:43,115 --> 00:37:45,325
That the informality
of her early shots

586
00:37:45,409 --> 00:37:48,453
compared to this stuff
so you just always know

587
00:37:48,537 --> 00:37:50,914
that, despite the high
fashion, she's still just

588
00:37:50,998 --> 00:37:54,626
that cheeky normal
naked girl on the beach?

589
00:37:55,711 --> 00:37:57,253
Couldn't have put
it better myself.

590
00:37:57,338 --> 00:38:01,049
That's absolutely it.
I agree with that profoundly.

591
00:38:02,385 --> 00:38:03,426
Milk?

592
00:38:03,552 --> 00:38:04,552
Yes.

593
00:38:04,720 --> 00:38:06,638
Sugar? No.

594
00:38:06,722 --> 00:38:07,764
Boyfriend?

595
00:38:07,890 --> 00:38:08,974
Yes!

596
00:38:09,141 --> 00:38:11,309
No. No, you don't
have a boyfriend.

597
00:38:12,561 --> 00:38:14,896
Do I not look like
I'd have a boyfriend?

598
00:38:15,022 --> 00:38:16,918
Do I look like I'd never
get a boyfriend? No.

599
00:38:16,957 --> 00:38:18,604
That's the rudest thing
I've ever heard.

600
00:38:18,651 --> 00:38:21,486
I didn't mean it like that.
I just didn't expect...

601
00:38:22,655 --> 00:38:24,739
Is it quite a new boyfriend?

602
00:38:24,907 --> 00:38:25,907
Yes.

603
00:38:26,409 --> 00:38:28,410
There he is. Rupert.

604
00:38:29,370 --> 00:38:31,246
Yes. He's so cute. Rupert?

605
00:38:31,372 --> 00:38:32,706
Hi, guys.

606
00:38:33,082 --> 00:38:34,916
Sorry I'm late, with my dad.

607
00:38:36,252 --> 00:38:37,252
Hi, Rupee.

608
00:38:38,546 --> 00:38:39,546
?'Rupee?'?

609
00:38:41,090 --> 00:38:43,258
Well, this is Tim and

610
00:38:43,384 --> 00:38:45,260
we don't know him at all.

611
00:38:45,928 --> 00:38:48,555
Hey, I was thinking we could
take in a film after this.

612
00:38:48,681 --> 00:38:50,306
Get some mixed popcorn,
share a Coke,

613
00:38:50,433 --> 00:38:51,558
snuggle. Okay.

614
00:38:51,934 --> 00:38:52,934
Okay.

615
00:38:54,270 --> 00:38:56,730
When did you two meet? Exactly?

616
00:38:57,273 --> 00:38:59,274
Well, it was only
a week ago, actually.

617
00:39:00,067 --> 00:39:02,902
It’s all been a bit of a
whirlwind, hasn't it, poochy face?

618
00:39:03,279 --> 00:39:06,281
I'm gonna have to teach you what you
can and can't say in front of people.

619
00:39:06,449 --> 00:39:07,866
No ?'poochy face?'? No.

620
00:39:07,950 --> 00:39:09,951
No. Definitely not.

621
00:39:10,119 --> 00:39:14,122
Come on, then. More details about
this wonderful first meeting?

622
00:39:14,248 --> 00:39:15,290
Okay, okay.

623
00:39:15,458 --> 00:39:17,584
It was, um, what... Joanna?

624
00:39:18,127 --> 00:39:19,627
June 17th.

625
00:39:19,795 --> 00:39:21,296
And Jo was
having a little party.

626
00:39:22,131 --> 00:39:25,300
A living hell from which
Rupert, thank God, rescued me.

627
00:39:25,426 --> 00:39:27,594
And where was
this terrible party?

628
00:39:27,720 --> 00:39:29,804
My brothel of a flat.

629
00:39:29,930 --> 00:39:32,110
Which is where, though? That's
the question, isn't it.

630
00:39:32,149 --> 00:39:33,279
What are you, a detective?

631
00:39:33,759 --> 00:39:35,794
No, sorry, I've just got
a very visual imagination.

632
00:39:35,978 --> 00:39:37,896
I like to imagine
stuff completely.

633
00:39:39,065 --> 00:39:43,234
26 Court field Gardens,
SW5. Around 8:30.

634
00:39:43,903 --> 00:39:45,987
Dress code, slutty.
Will that do?

635
00:39:46,155 --> 00:39:47,906
Absolutely, yes.
Although I am wondering

636
00:39:47,990 --> 00:39:51,076
when you got there, Rupert.
Early, late?

637
00:39:51,494 --> 00:39:54,662
On time, I think.
True love was calling.

638
00:39:54,789 --> 00:39:56,456
God.

639
00:39:56,749 --> 00:39:59,000
I actually feel a bit
sick now. Just these

640
00:39:59,168 --> 00:40:01,419
muffins, I think.
Never trust a blueberry.

641
00:40:02,838 --> 00:40:04,422
Okay, I'll be back in a tick.

642
00:40:05,841 --> 00:40:07,801
You two are such
a lovely couple.

643
00:40:12,181 --> 00:40:13,348
Bit weird.

644
00:40:13,474 --> 00:40:14,641
He's cute.

645
00:40:14,767 --> 00:40:15,767
I like him.

646
00:40:15,893 --> 00:40:16,935
Yeah, me too.

647
00:40:48,175 --> 00:40:50,218
Hello. Do I know you?

648
00:40:50,386 --> 00:40:53,847
No, no, no.
I'm a friend of Mary's.

649
00:40:54,390 --> 00:40:57,976
She has another friend? Gosh,
you amaze me. But hooray.

650
00:40:58,060 --> 00:40:59,811
Ooh. Hotdog?

651
00:41:00,229 --> 00:41:01,604
Took me hours.
Made them myself.

652
00:41:01,730 --> 00:41:03,064
Thanks.

653
00:41:04,692 --> 00:41:07,235
Disgusting.
Totally undercooked.

654
00:41:07,361 --> 00:41:08,695
See you later.

655
00:41:15,870 --> 00:41:18,246
Why don't we go upstairs,
it's a bit quieter?

656
00:41:33,053 --> 00:41:34,929
Hi. Hi.

657
00:41:35,097 --> 00:41:36,097
I'm Tim.

658
00:41:36,891 --> 00:41:37,932
Mary.

659
00:41:38,058 --> 00:41:40,685
That's my mother's name.
Let's not get into that.

660
00:41:40,769 --> 00:41:44,272
Um... I know this is forward but

661
00:41:44,398 --> 00:41:48,443
your face tells me that you're finding
this party to be a living hell.

662
00:41:50,529 --> 00:41:51,988
So, I just wondered
if you might come

663
00:41:52,072 --> 00:41:55,408
and have a bite to
eat with me instead?

664
00:41:56,118 --> 00:41:57,368
Right now.

665
00:41:57,703 --> 00:41:58,828
I'm sorry?

666
00:41:58,913 --> 00:42:01,456
Obviously, I should have
thought this through more.

667
00:42:01,790 --> 00:42:03,124
Let's talk about Kate Moss.

668
00:42:05,961 --> 00:42:08,129
I love Kate Moss.

669
00:42:08,297 --> 00:42:10,965
I always think the key thing
with her is the history,

670
00:42:11,383 --> 00:42:15,595
you know, the informality of her early
shots compared to high fashion stuff

671
00:42:15,721 --> 00:42:18,890
so you always know that underneath
she's still just the same

672
00:42:19,308 --> 00:42:22,477
cheeky normal girl
naked on the beach.

673
00:42:22,603 --> 00:42:23,603
The beach.

674
00:42:24,146 --> 00:42:26,814
I agree with you completely.

675
00:42:27,107 --> 00:42:30,151
If we leave now then we can have,
you know, more than one starter.

676
00:42:35,407 --> 00:42:37,075
I love your eyes.

677
00:42:38,953 --> 00:42:41,955
And I love the rest
of your face, too.

678
00:42:52,174 --> 00:42:53,925
More than one starter?

679
00:42:54,051 --> 00:42:55,760
10 amazing starters.

680
00:42:56,845 --> 00:42:58,763
After you. Thanks.

681
00:42:58,931 --> 00:43:01,099
Ten minutes is long enough
for any party, I think.

682
00:43:01,183 --> 00:43:03,101
Yeah.

683
00:43:03,185 --> 00:43:04,519
Especially that one.

684
00:43:04,687 --> 00:43:06,187
Evening, all.

685
00:43:06,355 --> 00:43:08,690
God! What a dickhead.

686
00:43:09,817 --> 00:43:10,775
Yeah.

687
00:43:13,821 --> 00:43:16,322
So, what do you do?

688
00:43:17,700 --> 00:43:19,951
I'm a reader at a publisher.

689
00:43:20,035 --> 00:43:22,704
No! You read for a living?

690
00:43:23,372 --> 00:43:26,165
Yes, that's it. I read.

691
00:43:26,292 --> 00:43:27,834
That's so great.

692
00:43:28,168 --> 00:43:30,044
It’s like someone asking,
'What do you do

693
00:43:30,170 --> 00:43:32,005
for a living??'
'Well, I breathe.

694
00:43:32,131 --> 00:43:35,216
'l'm a breather,
I get paid for breathing.?'

695
00:43:35,718 --> 00:43:39,345
How did you get that job? Okay,
smart-ass, what do you do?

696
00:43:40,389 --> 00:43:42,223
I am a lawyer.

697
00:43:42,558 --> 00:43:43,808
Sort of. Sort of.

698
00:43:43,892 --> 00:43:45,560
That's sexy.

699
00:43:46,061 --> 00:43:47,395
Is it?

700
00:43:47,521 --> 00:43:48,896
I mean, I think so.

701
00:43:49,815 --> 00:43:54,068
In a suit, in a court, saving
people's lives. Kind of sexy.

702
00:43:54,403 --> 00:43:56,443
I guess it is. Although it's
not as sexy as reading.

703
00:43:56,530 --> 00:43:59,907
Sitting there in an office,
in a little chair reading.

704
00:44:00,075 --> 00:44:01,492
Okay, stop. Ooh!

705
00:44:01,577 --> 00:44:03,244
Just wait right there,
mister, because

706
00:44:03,329 --> 00:44:05,913
a lot of books get
submitted to my publisher.

707
00:44:06,081 --> 00:44:07,749
So it's an immense
responsibility.

708
00:44:07,875 --> 00:44:09,500
I bet it is.

709
00:44:09,585 --> 00:44:11,586
But when you do normal reading,

710
00:44:12,421 --> 00:44:15,381
is it ruined because it's your job?
You know, like prostitutes?

711
00:44:15,507 --> 00:44:17,633
I always worry that when
they stop being prostitutes

712
00:44:17,718 --> 00:44:19,093
that they can't
enjoy sex any more.

713
00:44:19,219 --> 00:44:20,595
You always worry about that?

714
00:44:20,679 --> 00:44:22,805
No, I sometimes worry about it.
Good. Okay.

715
00:44:22,890 --> 00:44:25,800
Because someone who always worried
about that would be a bit of a worry.

716
00:44:25,884 --> 00:44:28,552
When you read a newspaper,
do you think,?'Forget this, it's work?'?

717
00:44:28,736 --> 00:44:30,654
Have you interviewed
a lot of prostitutes?

718
00:44:30,838 --> 00:44:32,756
When you read a menu,
do you think,

719
00:44:32,940 --> 00:44:35,709
?'No, I'm not reading this,
unless you pay me hard cash.?'

720
00:44:35,735 --> 00:44:39,046
How many prostitutes will you need to
talk to before this issue is solved?

721
00:44:39,114 --> 00:44:43,034
Are you planning to head to
Eastern Europe and Thailand?

722
00:44:57,216 --> 00:45:00,968
Um... Would you like
to walk me to my car?

723
00:45:01,095 --> 00:45:03,596
Yes. Why not? Okay.

724
00:45:03,806 --> 00:45:05,765
Sounds like a good idea.

725
00:45:06,475 --> 00:45:07,725
What about you?

726
00:45:07,810 --> 00:45:10,895
Yeah, I have
three older brothers.

727
00:45:11,105 --> 00:45:12,563
God. Yeah.

728
00:45:12,648 --> 00:45:14,232
Where are they?

729
00:45:15,818 --> 00:45:17,402
Behind you.

730
00:45:26,787 --> 00:45:28,830
Did you have trouble parking?

731
00:45:30,749 --> 00:45:32,333
Pardon?

732
00:45:32,459 --> 00:45:34,001
It’s just such
a long way to your car.

733
00:45:34,169 --> 00:45:36,587
Well, my car's
actually parked outside

734
00:45:36,713 --> 00:45:39,173
my house.
I got a lift to the party.

735
00:45:41,510 --> 00:45:42,510
Okay.

736
00:45:44,430 --> 00:45:46,431
That's good. That's perfect.

737
00:45:46,849 --> 00:45:47,849
Okay.

738
00:45:52,604 --> 00:45:54,647
And here we are.

739
00:45:54,773 --> 00:45:56,691
My God. Yeah.

740
00:45:56,817 --> 00:46:00,153
Car, house. House, car.

741
00:46:02,489 --> 00:46:04,657
It makes perfect sense.

742
00:46:04,950 --> 00:46:06,617
It’s very logical.

743
00:46:27,973 --> 00:46:28,973
Christ.

744
00:46:31,393 --> 00:46:32,602
Um...

745
00:46:35,397 --> 00:46:36,564
Keys!

746
00:46:50,996 --> 00:46:54,999
I'm gonna go into the bedroom
and put on my new pajamas.

747
00:46:55,375 --> 00:46:56,375
Right.

748
00:46:57,419 --> 00:47:00,713
And then in a minute you can
come in and take them off.

749
00:47:01,673 --> 00:47:03,424
If you want to.

750
00:47:13,602 --> 00:47:15,102
One minute.

751
00:47:20,025 --> 00:47:21,025
Hi.

752
00:47:24,613 --> 00:47:28,449
God. Are you... Are you okay?
Yeah.

753
00:47:30,786 --> 00:47:31,869
Sorry.

754
00:47:31,995 --> 00:47:33,079
That's okay.

755
00:47:56,979 --> 00:47:59,647
It’s a front opener.

756
00:47:59,773 --> 00:48:01,357
It’s a what?

757
00:48:01,483 --> 00:48:03,150
It opens from the front.

758
00:48:04,319 --> 00:48:06,445
Yeah, no, yeah, of course.

759
00:48:06,613 --> 00:48:08,155
Thanks. Sure.

760
00:48:10,742 --> 00:48:12,326
Ooh! Well done.

761
00:48:20,669 --> 00:48:23,004
I'm sure it'll be
better next time.

762
00:48:24,506 --> 00:48:27,008
I thought it was pretty lovely.

763
00:48:27,759 --> 00:48:30,177
Right, no,
it was really lovely.

764
00:48:32,514 --> 00:48:35,182
In fact, can you
just give me one minute?

765
00:48:36,643 --> 00:48:37,643
Okay.

766
00:48:43,775 --> 00:48:44,775
Hi.

767
00:48:47,446 --> 00:48:48,696
Dangerous.

768
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:55,119
You really know your bras.

769
00:48:56,038 --> 00:48:57,079
I like to think so.

770
00:49:02,544 --> 00:49:06,714
Well done. Some people make a
real mess of it the first time.

771
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:08,299
Amateurs.

772
00:49:10,552 --> 00:49:12,720
Could you give me one second?

773
00:49:13,805 --> 00:49:14,805
Sure.

774
00:49:15,974 --> 00:49:17,224
I couldn't wait.

775
00:49:19,311 --> 00:49:21,479
My goodness.

776
00:49:26,401 --> 00:49:31,739
Best night of my entire life. And now
I've got a suspicion I'm gonna have

777
00:49:31,823 --> 00:49:34,659
the best sleep
of my entire life.

778
00:49:36,328 --> 00:49:39,497
So once is enough
for my perfect guy?

779
00:49:40,332 --> 00:49:43,000
I'm not sure
that's entirely fair.

780
00:49:49,424 --> 00:49:51,008
We're late. No, we're not.

781
00:49:52,511 --> 00:49:55,054
It'll be fine. it's only...
My God.

782
00:50:06,650 --> 00:50:07,650
Bye.

783
00:50:15,867 --> 00:50:17,107
Don't worry,
you're coming with.

784
00:50:23,792 --> 00:50:25,126
I'm taking you home!

785
00:50:30,966 --> 00:50:32,717
Bye. Bye. Bye.

786
00:50:34,553 --> 00:50:35,553
No!

787
00:51:21,558 --> 00:51:23,851
Okay. I have some bad news.

788
00:51:24,561 --> 00:51:26,645
You're dying? No, not that bad.

789
00:51:26,730 --> 00:51:28,522
I'm dying? No.

790
00:51:28,690 --> 00:51:32,193
My parents are in town. They're
visiting and they're coming around.

791
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:34,320
God. Parents?
American parents?

792
00:51:35,572 --> 00:51:37,031
When? Now.

793
00:51:37,365 --> 00:51:39,158
They told me and
I didn't tell you

794
00:51:39,493 --> 00:51:42,294
and I thought they'd cancel because
they normally do and they didn't.

795
00:51:42,378 --> 00:51:43,929
Now now? Now now.

796
00:51:44,014 --> 00:51:45,615
So you should probably
put on some pants.

797
00:51:46,541 --> 00:51:48,918
God. Okay, okay.

798
00:51:49,002 --> 00:51:51,670
I'm
sorry, I'm sorry.

799
00:51:51,797 --> 00:51:53,214
Do
they know I exist?

800
00:51:53,381 --> 00:51:57,510
Yeah. I've mentioned something
like you, but nothing very specific.

801
00:51:57,594 --> 00:52:01,388
Yeah, they're quite conservative,
so maybe not those pants.

802
00:52:03,892 --> 00:52:05,559
Okay. Yeah.

803
00:52:05,769 --> 00:52:08,729
God. Okay.

804
00:52:10,899 --> 00:52:13,609
Could you just stall them.
Stall them.

805
00:52:16,696 --> 00:52:17,696
Come on up.

806
00:52:18,198 --> 00:52:20,741
What? I'm sorry, they
don't like waiting.

807
00:52:20,867 --> 00:52:22,576
Okay. Do I live here?

808
00:52:22,702 --> 00:52:24,370
Definitely not.

809
00:52:24,913 --> 00:52:26,497
Are we having sex?

810
00:52:26,623 --> 00:52:28,249
Yeah. But not oral.

811
00:52:28,416 --> 00:52:29,750
I wasn't gonna mention oral.

812
00:52:29,876 --> 00:52:32,628
Okay, good, don't. How did you
think that was gonna come up?

813
00:52:32,754 --> 00:52:34,154
Could you help me
with this, please?

814
00:52:34,256 --> 00:52:37,424
I don't know. if it does,
just deny it completely.

815
00:52:37,592 --> 00:52:39,593
Who's gonna bring it up?
Your dad?

816
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:42,429
?'Tim, had any cunnilingus
with my daughter recently??'

817
00:52:42,556 --> 00:52:43,806
Well, you never know.

818
00:52:43,932 --> 00:52:45,224
Okay.

819
00:52:45,767 --> 00:52:47,852
Okay. Ready? Yeah.

820
00:52:49,104 --> 00:52:51,105
They're there.
They are, yeah.

821
00:52:51,273 --> 00:52:52,940
Yeah, right behind you.
Okay. Right, okay.

822
00:52:56,278 --> 00:52:58,112
Dad! Hello, sweet.

823
00:52:58,321 --> 00:53:00,406
Mom. Hi. Hi, honey.

824
00:53:00,490 --> 00:53:02,950
This is Tim.

825
00:53:03,118 --> 00:53:05,160
Hello, sir. Ma'am.

826
00:53:05,745 --> 00:53:08,622
Should we come back when you
haven't got any company, or...

827
00:53:09,791 --> 00:53:12,042
Well, that would be
quite difficult

828
00:53:12,168 --> 00:53:14,461
because Tim
actually lives here.

829
00:53:15,964 --> 00:53:18,299
Really? With you?

830
00:53:18,633 --> 00:53:22,303
Yes. Yeah, but no
oral sex, I promise you.

831
00:53:24,139 --> 00:53:25,639
I beg your pardon?

832
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,100
Excuse me.

833
00:53:29,477 --> 00:53:33,147
So, Tim, tell us where are you
from, which part of the country?

834
00:53:33,773 --> 00:53:36,358
He's from Cornwall.
Yeah, it's really pretty.

835
00:53:36,484 --> 00:53:40,154
It’s that little bit right at the
end, sort of looks like a shoe.

836
00:53:40,822 --> 00:53:42,281
And you're a lawyer,
is that right?

837
00:53:43,158 --> 00:53:45,284
Yep, that's right.
And he never loses.

838
00:53:45,368 --> 00:53:48,667
You don't think he's gonna win, then he
just pulls something out of the bag and,

839
00:53:48,705 --> 00:53:49,955
what do you know,
he wins again.

840
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:53,334
Do you ever answer
any of your own questions?

841
00:53:53,501 --> 00:53:55,127
I...

842
00:53:55,211 --> 00:53:57,880
Yes, he does. Usually he does,

843
00:53:58,006 --> 00:53:59,246
but not today because I'm doing

844
00:53:59,341 --> 00:54:00,981
all the talking
because I'm really nervous

845
00:54:01,301 --> 00:54:06,013
and I kind of love him and I just...
l want you to, too.

846
00:54:06,139 --> 00:54:07,681
Honey.

847
00:54:07,974 --> 00:54:10,476
Sorry. Tim. Over to you.

848
00:54:10,977 --> 00:54:11,977
Shoot.

849
00:54:13,688 --> 00:54:14,813
Yeah, I think my dad...

850
00:54:14,940 --> 00:54:17,191
Can I just say one more thing?
Um...

851
00:54:17,734 --> 00:54:19,568
Thank God that's over.

852
00:54:19,694 --> 00:54:20,945
I got given two tickets

853
00:54:21,029 --> 00:54:23,280
for the National Theatre
tomorrow. Do you wanna come?

854
00:54:23,365 --> 00:54:27,368
No, so not. I'm just
gonna sleep all day.

855
00:54:27,827 --> 00:54:31,372
I don't see why going to the theatre
should get in the way of that.

856
00:54:31,498 --> 00:54:34,875
Many of the best sleeps of my life have
happened in the Royal Shakespeare Company.

857
00:54:35,335 --> 00:54:37,544
No, you take someone else.

858
00:54:37,712 --> 00:54:41,548
I really like bed and
I really hate theatre.

859
00:54:42,008 --> 00:54:43,384
Quite right.

860
00:54:44,511 --> 00:54:48,180
But what kind of sad act is gonna
be free on a Saturday night

861
00:54:48,765 --> 00:54:50,808
with no day's notice?

862
00:54:52,060 --> 00:54:53,060
Bravo.

863
00:54:55,772 --> 00:54:58,232
My God. it's Charlotte. Who?

864
00:54:58,733 --> 00:55:00,567
It was my first love. Where?

865
00:55:00,735 --> 00:55:02,695
There. Under the ?'exit?' sign.

866
00:55:02,779 --> 00:55:04,446
- The old woman?
- No, not the old woman.

867
00:55:04,531 --> 00:55:05,781
The astonishing blonde.

868
00:55:05,865 --> 00:55:07,533
The one with the dark hair?
No, blonde.

869
00:55:07,617 --> 00:55:09,243
Blonde means
blonde hair, doesn't it?

870
00:55:10,412 --> 00:55:11,954
Off the stage.

871
00:55:12,372 --> 00:55:14,623
Okay, you stay there.
I mean it, stay!

872
00:55:27,053 --> 00:55:28,053
Charlotte.

873
00:55:29,097 --> 00:55:31,098
My God. Tim.

874
00:55:31,641 --> 00:55:34,143
How fabulous to see you.

875
00:55:35,145 --> 00:55:38,397
Wow. I... This is
my girlfriend Tina.

876
00:55:38,481 --> 00:55:39,773
No.

877
00:55:41,484 --> 00:55:44,069
That is so brilliant.
Well, hello, Tina.

878
00:55:44,154 --> 00:55:45,779
Why is it brilliant?

879
00:55:45,905 --> 00:55:49,057
Well, you know. There are certain moments
in your life that scar you for life.

880
00:55:49,083 --> 00:55:52,085
Charlotte's rejection of me
was one of those moments,

881
00:55:52,153 --> 00:55:54,780
but now I know she's
got a ?'girlfriend, ?' well,

882
00:55:54,864 --> 00:55:57,349
that's just a huge burden
suddenly lifted off my mind.

883
00:55:57,433 --> 00:56:00,135
I can be a confident
heterosexual all over again.

884
00:56:01,963 --> 00:56:04,590
Not that kind of girlfriend.

885
00:56:06,259 --> 00:56:07,259
What?

886
00:56:08,011 --> 00:56:09,636
You think I'm gay?

887
00:56:10,764 --> 00:56:11,764
No.

888
00:56:12,265 --> 00:56:15,934
No, of course not.
No. it's girl friend.

889
00:56:16,019 --> 00:56:17,936
Yes. No. Wow.

890
00:56:18,021 --> 00:56:21,482
Yeah, friend who is a girl,
which you so clearly are.

891
00:56:21,649 --> 00:56:25,444
I'm just gonna go and get my
boyfriend, who is a boy...

892
00:56:31,618 --> 00:56:33,786
My God. Tim.

893
00:56:34,329 --> 00:56:37,122
How lovely to see you.
Look at you. Wow.

894
00:56:37,207 --> 00:56:38,916
This is my girlfriend Tina.

895
00:56:40,627 --> 00:56:42,336
Hello, Tina.
Although you should be

896
00:56:42,462 --> 00:56:44,171
a little careful
with that, by the way.

897
00:56:44,297 --> 00:56:47,341
There are still quite a lot of
us old fashioned types about

898
00:56:47,467 --> 00:56:49,676
who interpret girlfriend
as meaning gay.

899
00:56:49,803 --> 00:56:53,066
So if you say that Tina's your girlfriend,
people will assume that you're ?'gay.?'

900
00:56:54,015 --> 00:56:55,474
I am 'gay.'

901
00:56:56,476 --> 00:56:57,684
Are you?

902
00:56:57,852 --> 00:56:59,092
Do you have
a problem with that?

903
00:56:59,854 --> 00:57:02,731
No, I don't. I love that stuff.

904
00:57:03,525 --> 00:57:04,691
I'm just gonna...

905
00:57:07,195 --> 00:57:08,195
Wow.

906
00:57:08,696 --> 00:57:11,532
I've just seen the girl who broke
my heart three summers ago.

907
00:57:11,658 --> 00:57:13,534
Let's go say hello.

908
00:57:13,660 --> 00:57:15,536
No. Best let sleeping dogs lie.
Come on.

909
00:57:15,703 --> 00:57:18,080
Best night of my life.
I always love this area.

910
00:57:18,164 --> 00:57:20,541
It’s so bustling and I mean
those pictures, full of colour.

911
00:57:20,708 --> 00:57:23,794
Just makes me so happy when I'm
round here, all the colour... Tim.

912
00:57:23,878 --> 00:57:25,212
Charlotte!

913
00:57:25,338 --> 00:57:26,713
Tim, how lovely to see you.

914
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:28,340
What a surprise.

915
00:57:28,424 --> 00:57:31,385
Wow. Sorry. This is
my girlfriend, Tina.

916
00:57:31,553 --> 00:57:33,387
She's gay. Shut up.

917
00:57:33,513 --> 00:57:34,721
Hello, Tina.

918
00:57:34,848 --> 00:57:36,056
Look at you!

919
00:57:36,182 --> 00:57:38,016
It just never
even occurred to me

920
00:57:38,143 --> 00:57:39,935
you existed
outside of Cornwall.

921
00:57:40,728 --> 00:57:42,896
We're about to
go and get dinner,

922
00:57:43,022 --> 00:57:45,107
but it would be great
to hang out sometime.

923
00:57:45,233 --> 00:57:47,067
Yeah, sure. I'd love that.

924
00:57:47,235 --> 00:57:49,027
Send my love to little Kit Kat.
How is she?

925
00:57:49,571 --> 00:57:53,073
She's okay. She's not finding
London totally easy actually.

926
00:57:53,241 --> 00:57:55,409
Right. Well, Jimmy says
he sees her sometimes.

927
00:57:55,702 --> 00:57:57,119
Really? Since when?

928
00:57:57,245 --> 00:57:59,288
You knew there was
always something there.

929
00:57:59,414 --> 00:58:01,081
Sorry, you are?

930
00:58:01,249 --> 00:58:02,249
Very well, thank you.

931
00:58:02,417 --> 00:58:03,457
Well, she means your name.

932
00:58:03,585 --> 00:58:04,918
Roger. No, it's not.

933
00:58:05,044 --> 00:58:07,379
No, it's not. it's Rory.

934
00:58:07,463 --> 00:58:09,381
Nice to meet you, Rory. Yeah.

935
00:58:10,091 --> 00:58:11,800
Right. Sorry,
we should get going.

936
00:58:11,926 --> 00:58:13,260
It was really great to see you.

937
00:58:13,344 --> 00:58:14,761
I'll see you soon.
You, too. Yeah.

938
00:58:15,263 --> 00:58:16,263
Bye.

939
00:58:16,639 --> 00:58:18,473
God, she is beautiful.

940
00:58:19,934 --> 00:58:23,604
She's so beautiful, if you had sex
with her, you'd die. You'd just die.

941
00:58:23,730 --> 00:58:27,107
You'd open her shirt, see her breasts
and your eyes would explode.

942
00:58:27,233 --> 00:58:29,514
You'd have to have sex with her blind.
And then you'd die.

943
00:58:29,611 --> 00:58:32,154
You notice she didn't
give me her number...

944
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:36,158
I told Tina to go have dinner on her own.
Are you hungry?

945
00:58:36,284 --> 00:58:38,785
Yeah. Of course. Great.

946
00:58:39,245 --> 00:58:40,787
Bye, Roger.

947
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:42,748
Yeah, excellent.

948
00:58:43,124 --> 00:58:45,614
Thanks again for the play. Triumph.
Where do you wanna go?

949
00:58:45,835 --> 00:58:48,253
Well, wherever you like really.

950
00:58:48,338 --> 00:58:50,797
I can't compete.

951
00:59:02,268 --> 00:59:03,352
You know,

952
00:59:03,686 --> 00:59:07,648
I'm starting to think we slightly
wasted that summer holiday.

953
00:59:08,483 --> 00:59:11,193
If we could
travel back in time,

954
00:59:11,319 --> 00:59:13,862
maybe I wouldn't have said no.

955
00:59:15,782 --> 00:59:16,782
I'm...

956
00:59:17,659 --> 00:59:19,660
I'm just staying
round the corner.

957
00:59:19,786 --> 00:59:21,328
Can you walk me home?

958
00:59:22,956 --> 00:59:23,956
Yeah.

959
00:59:24,540 --> 00:59:26,375
Yeah? Yeah, of course, yeah.

960
00:59:36,344 --> 00:59:38,804
Well, here we are.

961
00:59:44,185 --> 00:59:46,019
it's a lot nicer

962
00:59:46,437 --> 00:59:47,604
inside.

963
00:59:48,314 --> 00:59:49,856
I'm sure it is.

964
00:59:57,031 --> 00:59:59,032
So... So...

965
01:00:00,201 --> 01:00:01,201
So...

966
01:00:03,371 --> 01:00:04,371
So,

967
01:00:04,789 --> 01:00:06,123
lovely

968
01:00:07,458 --> 01:00:09,376
to see you, Charlotte.

969
01:00:09,502 --> 01:00:13,213
What a night.
Total joy, but I've gotta

970
01:00:14,215 --> 01:00:15,716
get back

971
01:00:16,551 --> 01:00:19,886
because there's something very important
that I have to do. Right now.

972
01:00:53,087 --> 01:00:56,381
Wake up. Wake up. What?

973
01:00:56,549 --> 01:00:57,549
Mary.

974
01:00:58,926 --> 01:01:00,677
Would you like to marry me?

975
01:01:00,762 --> 01:01:01,970
Shh.

976
01:01:02,263 --> 01:01:06,266
Don't be so selfish,
I'm sleeping. it's bad.

977
01:01:08,394 --> 01:01:09,394
Right.

978
01:01:10,355 --> 01:01:12,189
That went very well.

979
01:01:19,697 --> 01:01:20,947
Wake up.

980
01:01:21,115 --> 01:01:22,115
What?

981
01:01:23,701 --> 01:01:25,702
Wake up. Come and have a chat.

982
01:01:25,787 --> 01:01:26,787
Why?

983
01:01:27,955 --> 01:01:30,374
I've got something
important to ask you.

984
01:01:33,211 --> 01:01:35,295
Can't it wait till morning?

985
01:01:35,630 --> 01:01:37,255
Not really.

986
01:01:38,216 --> 01:01:41,218
But I'm so comfy.

987
01:01:41,719 --> 01:01:44,388
I was having
the loveliest dream.

988
01:01:45,139 --> 01:01:46,765
What is it?

989
01:01:47,475 --> 01:01:49,976
Why is there music on?

990
01:01:50,436 --> 01:01:53,146
It’s got something to do
with what I want to ask you.

991
01:01:54,816 --> 01:01:56,650
Wait a minute.

992
01:01:57,485 --> 01:01:59,444
Romantic music.

993
01:02:00,822 --> 01:02:03,323
Guy with important question.

994
01:02:03,491 --> 01:02:05,117
Are you on your knees?

995
01:02:05,618 --> 01:02:07,619
On his knees.

996
01:02:09,497 --> 01:02:12,290
Were you so bored in
the play you decided

997
01:02:12,417 --> 01:02:15,168
to ask me to
marry you afterwards?

998
01:02:17,463 --> 01:02:19,131
Something like that.

999
01:02:22,427 --> 01:02:24,428
Yeah. Exactly that.

1000
01:02:25,805 --> 01:02:27,139
In fact,

1001
01:02:30,184 --> 01:02:32,018
will you marry me?

1002
01:02:38,526 --> 01:02:40,527
Any thoughts on the answer?

1003
01:02:41,154 --> 01:02:45,157
'Yes'  'No' Get out of my life,
loser.' They're all possible.

1004
01:02:48,703 --> 01:02:51,371
I think I'll go for

1005
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:54,040
'yes.'

1006
01:02:59,839 --> 01:03:02,007
Thank you for asking me.

1007
01:03:02,550 --> 01:03:07,179
And thank you for not going for one
of those melodramatic proposals

1008
01:03:07,305 --> 01:03:09,681
with lots of people around.

1009
01:03:10,224 --> 01:03:12,142
I hate other people.

1010
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:13,852
Me, too.

1011
01:03:14,562 --> 01:03:15,562
Yeah.

1012
01:03:17,190 --> 01:03:19,399
I'm just gonna
turn off the radio.

1013
01:03:19,859 --> 01:03:22,068
Okay. Good idea.

1014
01:03:29,744 --> 01:03:32,913
Thanks, guys.
Sorry, she's a bit tired.

1015
01:03:33,748 --> 01:03:37,834
But we really appreciate it.
Can you go?

1016
01:03:46,928 --> 01:03:48,261
Wow!

1017
01:03:48,596 --> 01:03:50,597
That's so beautiful.

1018
01:03:50,723 --> 01:03:53,350
I don't think we'll be staying
in the same room, somehow.

1019
01:03:53,434 --> 01:03:54,684
Really?

1020
01:03:54,769 --> 01:03:57,771
If they offer you tea,
just say no.

1021
01:03:58,564 --> 01:03:59,940
Hello.

1022
01:04:00,066 --> 01:04:01,441
Mum, this is Mary.

1023
01:04:01,567 --> 01:04:02,901
Mary! Hi.

1024
01:04:03,027 --> 01:04:04,611
Good Lord, you're pretty.

1025
01:04:04,779 --> 01:04:06,363
No, it's just

1026
01:04:06,781 --> 01:04:09,282
I've got a lot of
mascara and lipstick on.

1027
01:04:09,408 --> 01:04:10,784
Let's have a look.

1028
01:04:10,910 --> 01:04:13,453
Yes. Good.

1029
01:04:13,913 --> 01:04:17,374
It’s very bad for
a girl to be too pretty.

1030
01:04:17,458 --> 01:04:21,628
It stops her developing a sense of humor.
Or a personality.

1031
01:04:22,380 --> 01:04:23,380
Tea?

1032
01:04:23,798 --> 01:04:25,340
I'd love a cup of tea.

1033
01:04:25,466 --> 01:04:27,050
Christ,
that's the whole day gone.

1034
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:30,804
She's a very special guest.
Cup without the crack.

1035
01:04:30,930 --> 01:04:32,180
Skipping stones.

1036
01:04:32,265 --> 01:04:34,975
They've been doing this
since he was about this high.

1037
01:04:35,309 --> 01:04:38,770
And what are your faults?
I mean, little weaknesses.

1038
01:04:41,649 --> 01:04:43,733
I...

1039
01:04:45,570 --> 01:04:47,571
Well, I'm very insecure.

1040
01:04:47,822 --> 01:04:49,114
Sweet.

1041
01:04:50,074 --> 01:04:54,119
Okay. I've a very
bad temper sometimes.

1042
01:04:54,245 --> 01:04:55,912
Crucial. How else are you gonna

1043
01:04:56,038 --> 01:04:57,747
get a fella to
do what you want?

1044
01:05:00,167 --> 01:05:02,335
And, of course, I have...

1045
01:05:02,753 --> 01:05:04,129
I have a weakness for your son.

1046
01:05:04,255 --> 01:05:05,630
So do I.

1047
01:05:06,007 --> 01:05:09,676
But best not to tell him.
Don't want him getting cocky.

1048
01:05:13,681 --> 01:05:14,764
Pow!

1049
01:05:14,849 --> 01:05:17,183
I'm so good
without the ball. Pow!

1050
01:05:19,020 --> 01:05:20,437
What do you think of her?

1051
01:05:20,521 --> 01:05:22,147
I like her more
than you already.

1052
01:05:24,483 --> 01:05:28,528
Look, I'd forgotten this.
Jimmy Fontana Il Mondo.

1053
01:05:28,654 --> 01:05:30,614
Greatest record ever
recorded by an ltalian

1054
01:05:30,698 --> 01:05:32,796
who looks like he's got a
dead badger on his head.

1055
01:05:32,835 --> 01:05:33,863
And you've got the album.

1056
01:05:33,951 --> 01:05:35,160
Yes!

1057
01:05:35,286 --> 01:05:36,870
Check out those specs!

1058
01:05:39,373 --> 01:05:42,542
Come on, on with the game!
Right.

1059
01:05:42,877 --> 01:05:44,794
And what an extraordinary
game this is.

1060
01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:46,838
For the first time
a father and son

1061
01:05:46,964 --> 01:05:48,715
are playing each other
in the World Table

1062
01:05:48,883 --> 01:05:50,643
Tennis Final and
neither of them are Chinese.

1063
01:05:50,718 --> 01:05:53,303
Tremendous play from the old
World Champion and his son,

1064
01:05:53,387 --> 01:05:56,056
the first openly ginger
British table tennis player

1065
01:05:56,223 --> 01:05:58,311
but there are signs the
youngster's beginning to crack.

1066
01:05:58,350 --> 01:06:00,769
There are tears in his eyes.
There are not!

1067
01:06:00,895 --> 01:06:02,354
There soon will be!

1068
01:06:06,901 --> 01:06:07,901
Hey.

1069
01:06:09,320 --> 01:06:11,196
Hey!
I didn't know you were here.

1070
01:06:11,864 --> 01:06:14,324
Yeah. I just
popped down for a while.

1071
01:06:14,408 --> 01:06:15,575
Okay.

1072
01:06:15,910 --> 01:06:17,160
What about the job?

1073
01:06:19,163 --> 01:06:20,497
So how long have you been here?

1074
01:06:20,581 --> 01:06:22,374
Couple of weeks.

1075
01:06:22,500 --> 01:06:24,751
Gosh! So, life in London...

1076
01:06:25,586 --> 01:06:26,753
Horrid.

1077
01:06:26,921 --> 01:06:27,921
Okay.

1078
01:06:29,674 --> 01:06:31,174
Is Mary here?

1079
01:06:31,258 --> 01:06:32,425
Yes.

1080
01:06:32,593 --> 01:06:34,094
Where? Downstairs.

1081
01:06:35,262 --> 01:06:37,263
You be gentle.

1082
01:06:38,265 --> 01:06:39,766
Be gentle!

1083
01:06:44,063 --> 01:06:45,397
Careful!

1084
01:06:46,273 --> 01:06:50,568
Yeah, nice to see you, too. I'm
trying to make a good impression...

1085
01:06:50,695 --> 01:06:52,655
Yeah, you make a good impression.

1086
01:06:53,531 --> 01:06:55,281
Right, sorry. Sorry.

1087
01:06:55,408 --> 01:06:57,951
I've got an important
announcement to make.

1088
01:06:58,077 --> 01:06:59,786
Exciting.

1089
01:07:00,955 --> 01:07:03,498
We've decided, after a little
bit of thought, to get married.

1090
01:07:06,752 --> 01:07:09,129
That's wonderful news.

1091
01:07:09,296 --> 01:07:10,922
Who are you getting married to?

1092
01:07:11,966 --> 01:07:13,925
To Mary. Over there.

1093
01:07:14,051 --> 01:07:16,052
Thank God for that.

1094
01:07:16,262 --> 01:07:19,264
Jolly embarrassing if it had
been another girl. imagine that.

1095
01:07:19,765 --> 01:07:21,474
We're so pleased.

1096
01:07:21,976 --> 01:07:23,601
No, sorry. Yeah.

1097
01:07:23,728 --> 01:07:26,813
By the way, the wedding
will be quite soon

1098
01:07:27,815 --> 01:07:29,733
because we're
having a baby, too.

1099
01:07:37,324 --> 01:07:38,491
You're pregnant?

1100
01:07:38,617 --> 01:07:39,784
Yes.

1101
01:07:40,077 --> 01:07:41,494
Who's the father?

1102
01:07:42,121 --> 01:07:43,830
Well, Tim, I hope.

1103
01:07:44,248 --> 01:07:48,251
Thank God for that. Jolly awkward
if it had been another fellow.

1104
01:07:52,006 --> 01:07:53,506
We have to decide tonight.

1105
01:07:53,632 --> 01:07:55,341
What? Everything.

1106
01:07:55,593 --> 01:07:58,178
The only thing
you've decided about our

1107
01:07:58,262 --> 01:08:00,180
wedding is that I'm
coming down the aisle

1108
01:08:00,264 --> 01:08:02,474
to the sound of
some ltalian weirdo

1109
01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:04,768
singing a song called Il Mondo.

1110
01:08:04,852 --> 01:08:05,769
Excellent song.

1111
01:08:05,853 --> 01:08:08,104
To which I've said
a definitive 'no.'

1112
01:08:08,189 --> 01:08:09,856
So here's the deal.

1113
01:08:10,024 --> 01:08:13,526
I will take off one item of clothing
for every decision you make.

1114
01:08:14,695 --> 01:08:17,697
Okay. You have my attention,
young lady.

1115
01:08:17,990 --> 01:08:19,324
Right, um,

1116
01:08:20,451 --> 01:08:22,076
where would you
like to get married?

1117
01:08:23,537 --> 01:08:25,997
Home. I'd hate anywhere else.

1118
01:08:26,123 --> 01:08:27,123
Okay.

1119
01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:29,667
My God. Good.

1120
01:08:29,794 --> 01:08:31,127
Who should the priest be?

1121
01:08:31,212 --> 01:08:32,712
It'll have to be
the local bloke

1122
01:08:32,838 --> 01:08:34,478
with yellow teeth and
the massive unibrow.

1123
01:08:34,715 --> 01:08:35,715
Okay.

1124
01:08:36,217 --> 01:08:38,843
That's a lock for Hagrid.

1125
01:08:40,095 --> 01:08:41,346
Um...

1126
01:08:41,722 --> 01:08:42,806
Best Man?

1127
01:08:42,932 --> 01:08:44,015
Damn.

1128
01:08:44,141 --> 01:08:45,809
Best Man. Now.

1129
01:08:45,935 --> 01:08:48,582
No, this is so hard. It's lose-lose you know
You piss off all the

1130
01:08:48,621 --> 01:08:51,088
ones you don't pick, and you end
up hating the one you do pick

1131
01:08:51,256 --> 01:08:53,299
because he makes a bad
speech and ruins the day.

1132
01:08:53,383 --> 01:08:54,926
Do you wanna see
these puppies or not?

1133
01:08:54,952 --> 01:08:56,494
Yes, I do.

1134
01:08:56,987 --> 01:08:58,705
Jay. it's your choice.

1135
01:08:59,031 --> 01:09:00,511
He's my best friend,
but he's a moron.

1136
01:09:00,574 --> 01:09:01,991
Yeah, he will
mess up everything.

1137
01:09:02,076 --> 01:09:03,409
Rory. Sure?

1138
01:09:03,536 --> 01:09:04,869
No, Harry.

1139
01:09:04,995 --> 01:09:06,329
Harry it is. Let's do this.

1140
01:09:08,415 --> 01:09:09,874
Rory. Sorry.

1141
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:11,417
What? That's such a cheat.

1142
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:14,045
Okay, fine.

1143
01:09:14,171 --> 01:09:15,547
Honeymoon?

1144
01:09:16,006 --> 01:09:17,674
Bed and breakfast in Scotland.

1145
01:09:17,758 --> 01:09:20,218
I am not taking
my pants off for Scotland.

1146
01:09:20,344 --> 01:09:22,846
But it's all we can afford.
Take off your pants.

1147
01:09:22,930 --> 01:09:24,055
I will not.

1148
01:09:24,181 --> 01:09:25,265
Take off your pants!

1149
01:09:25,432 --> 01:09:27,725
I want
two weeks in Bali!

1150
01:09:27,852 --> 01:09:29,185
Take off those pants!

1151
01:09:36,235 --> 01:09:38,069
Have you planned a break? No.

1152
01:09:47,955 --> 01:09:51,705
No! Is that you? It wasn't me.

1153
01:10:11,770 --> 01:10:13,313
It’s for you.

1154
01:10:47,222 --> 01:10:49,140
No, I'm caught!
I've got it. I've got it!

1155
01:10:49,558 --> 01:10:50,683
Help me!

1156
01:10:55,522 --> 01:10:56,814
Yes!

1157
01:11:00,402 --> 01:11:01,945
Right, follow me!

1158
01:11:04,365 --> 01:11:05,865
My gosh!

1159
01:11:07,826 --> 01:11:09,202
My God!

1160
01:11:11,997 --> 01:11:12,997
God!

1161
01:11:20,047 --> 01:11:21,255
it's a joke!

1162
01:11:24,885 --> 01:11:25,885
Here.

1163
01:11:30,891 --> 01:11:32,517
Yes, come on.

1164
01:11:32,851 --> 01:11:34,060
This way.

1165
01:11:49,201 --> 01:11:50,910
My God!

1166
01:12:17,271 --> 01:12:18,354
Hello,

1167
01:12:18,689 --> 01:12:20,189
I'm Rory.

1168
01:12:21,233 --> 01:12:25,737
When Tim asked me to
be his Best Man, I was terrified.

1169
01:12:25,863 --> 01:12:28,573
So I thought best
thing is to find

1170
01:12:28,699 --> 01:12:31,409
a book about speeches.
And here it is.

1171
01:12:32,202 --> 01:12:35,955
And it says think of
really funny anecdotes.

1172
01:12:36,874 --> 01:12:41,836
And there is a very hilarious
story, actually from work.

1173
01:12:42,546 --> 01:12:45,506
It was quite a complicated
case based on an issue of

1174
01:12:45,632 --> 01:12:47,467
cross-amortisation
of ownership of

1175
01:12:47,551 --> 01:12:49,135
post-divorce
properties and, um...

1176
01:12:51,263 --> 01:12:54,098
Let me just explain the context.
The Defendant...

1177
01:12:57,895 --> 01:13:00,146
When Tim asked me
to do his Best Man speech,

1178
01:13:00,272 --> 01:13:02,523
my immediate reaction was,

1179
01:13:02,649 --> 01:13:04,569
?'How much are you gonna
pay me, you little shit?

1180
01:13:04,651 --> 01:13:06,944
?'l don't write
for free, you know.?'

1181
01:13:07,029 --> 01:13:10,156
These were the girls available
to him at that time.

1182
01:13:10,282 --> 01:13:13,534
?'Hello, girls.?' And this is how
far he got with each of them.

1183
01:13:13,660 --> 01:13:16,746
Let me explain the code.
5, blow job.

1184
01:13:19,458 --> 01:13:23,669
8, full penetrative...
and so a toast

1185
01:13:23,796 --> 01:13:25,755
to the man with
the worst haircut

1186
01:13:25,881 --> 01:13:27,840
but the best bride in the room.

1187
01:13:28,300 --> 01:13:30,051
Ladies and gentlemen,
Tim and Mary.

1188
01:13:30,177 --> 01:13:32,178
Tim and Mary.

1189
01:13:32,971 --> 01:13:34,055
That's us.

1190
01:13:35,015 --> 01:13:36,974
I wish I'd said 'l love you.'

1191
01:13:37,101 --> 01:13:38,768
You did, Dad.

1192
01:13:39,186 --> 01:13:40,436
It was implied.

1193
01:13:40,562 --> 01:13:44,649
I'm not sure 'implied' is good
enough for a wedding day, are you?

1194
01:13:44,775 --> 01:13:46,943
No, don't do it, it's fine.

1195
01:13:47,069 --> 01:13:50,905
I'm so happy with it as it was.
You really don't have to.

1196
01:13:51,031 --> 01:13:53,324
I'll do what
I wanna do, young man.

1197
01:13:53,450 --> 01:13:55,701
Will you excuse me
for just one moment?

1198
01:13:57,621 --> 01:14:00,540
later on I may tell you about

1199
01:14:00,666 --> 01:14:05,044
Tim's many failings as a man
and as a table tennis player.

1200
01:14:05,170 --> 01:14:06,170
But,

1201
01:14:06,463 --> 01:14:08,798
important first to say the one

1202
01:14:10,592 --> 01:14:13,302
big thing, I've only loved

1203
01:14:13,428 --> 01:14:16,764
three men in my life.

1204
01:14:17,224 --> 01:14:19,267
My dad was
a frosty bugger so that

1205
01:14:19,393 --> 01:14:21,435
only leaves dear Uncle Desmond,

1206
01:14:23,981 --> 01:14:27,733
B. B. King, obviously,
and this young man here.

1207
01:14:28,443 --> 01:14:32,780
I'd only give one piece of
advice to anyone marrying.

1208
01:14:33,490 --> 01:14:36,325
We're all quite
similar in the end.

1209
01:14:36,451 --> 01:14:40,079
We all get old and tell the
same tales too many times.

1210
01:14:40,164 --> 01:14:43,499
But try and marry someone

1211
01:14:44,918 --> 01:14:45,918
kind.

1212
01:14:46,670 --> 01:14:49,005
And this is a kind man

1213
01:14:49,673 --> 01:14:51,424
with a good heart.

1214
01:14:51,800 --> 01:14:54,677
I'm not particularly proud

1215
01:14:54,803 --> 01:14:58,431
of many things in my life,
but I am very proud

1216
01:15:00,100 --> 01:15:02,101
to be the father of my son.

1217
01:15:05,606 --> 01:15:09,942
I'm so sorry to disturb you, but I
wonder if I could have your autograph.

1218
01:15:10,027 --> 01:15:12,069
No. No.

1219
01:15:12,654 --> 01:15:13,934
I'm at a wedding,
for God's sake.

1220
01:15:13,989 --> 01:15:16,324
I'm here to
celebrate true love not

1221
01:15:16,450 --> 01:15:18,826
scribble my illegible
signature on stupid

1222
01:15:18,952 --> 01:15:21,329
bits of paper that
you can flog on eBay

1223
01:15:21,455 --> 01:15:24,624
so that at the next wedding you
can wear a less hideous hat.

1224
01:15:24,791 --> 01:15:27,126
I see you've met my Aunt May.

1225
01:15:27,211 --> 01:15:31,005
God. People should
wear name tags.

1226
01:15:32,132 --> 01:15:34,217
You next, Kittle Kattle.

1227
01:15:35,469 --> 01:15:37,470
I don't know, Uncle D.

1228
01:15:39,306 --> 01:15:41,182
Boys aren't very nice.

1229
01:15:41,725 --> 01:15:43,309
Aren't they, darling?

1230
01:15:43,810 --> 01:15:45,686
Not in my experience.

1231
01:15:46,813 --> 01:15:48,814
They're always
taking liberties,

1232
01:15:48,982 --> 01:15:51,025
not giving much back in return.

1233
01:15:54,863 --> 01:15:56,405
It’s yummy. Yeah?

1234
01:15:56,531 --> 01:15:58,658
I like the way you say 'yummy.'

1235
01:16:06,500 --> 01:16:09,669
Do you wish we'd picked
another less wet day?

1236
01:16:09,753 --> 01:16:10,753
No.

1237
01:16:11,838 --> 01:16:13,714
Not for the world.

1238
01:16:18,887 --> 01:16:21,222
And so it begins.

1239
01:16:21,682 --> 01:16:24,600
Lots and lots of types of days.

1240
01:16:25,519 --> 01:16:26,519
Fun!

1241
01:16:33,026 --> 01:16:34,026
Posy.

1242
01:16:35,654 --> 01:16:37,363
Posy she is.

1243
01:16:37,990 --> 01:16:40,199
The most beautiful
girl in the world.

1244
01:16:43,578 --> 01:16:47,581
You want your daddy.
Yes, I know.

1245
01:16:50,877 --> 01:16:51,877
Yeah.

1246
01:16:54,923 --> 01:16:56,303
No one can ever
prepare you for

1247
01:16:56,341 --> 01:16:58,551
what happens when
you have a child.

1248
01:16:58,719 --> 01:17:00,303
When you see
the baby in your arms

1249
01:17:00,387 --> 01:17:03,014
and you know that
it's your job now.

1250
01:17:03,932 --> 01:17:07,768
No one can prepare you for
the love and the fear.

1251
01:17:09,396 --> 01:17:11,355
She's lovely.

1252
01:17:12,399 --> 01:17:14,400
You were such an ugly baby.

1253
01:17:14,735 --> 01:17:16,402
More chimpanzee than child.

1254
01:17:17,070 --> 01:17:18,571
I remember
the first time I saw you,

1255
01:17:18,655 --> 01:17:21,574
I thanked God we were in driving
distance of London Zoo.

1256
01:17:22,784 --> 01:17:24,285
Come on, hand over
the little bugger,

1257
01:17:24,369 --> 01:17:25,870
let's see if she bounces.

1258
01:17:25,954 --> 01:17:27,747
Yeah,
she definitely will bounce.

1259
01:17:27,914 --> 01:17:29,040
Look.

1260
01:17:29,166 --> 01:17:30,291
She can do anything.

1261
01:17:30,417 --> 01:17:32,376
Look. Hello.

1262
01:17:34,588 --> 01:17:36,047
Sweetheart.

1263
01:17:37,090 --> 01:17:38,799
No one can prepare you
for the love

1264
01:17:38,925 --> 01:17:40,718
people you love
can feel for them.

1265
01:17:42,929 --> 01:17:44,347
And nothing can prepare you for

1266
01:17:44,431 --> 01:17:46,391
the indifference of friends
who don't have babies.

1267
01:17:46,475 --> 01:17:48,267
Do you wanna
go to Uncle Jay?

1268
01:17:48,435 --> 01:17:50,269
No, thanks, it's fine.
It's great.

1269
01:17:50,604 --> 01:17:52,813
And it's a shock how
quickly you have to move

1270
01:17:52,898 --> 01:17:55,733
to a new place you
completely can't afford.

1271
01:17:56,318 --> 01:17:57,777
Look what we found.

1272
01:17:57,903 --> 01:17:59,320
Look who it is!

1273
01:17:59,905 --> 01:18:00,988
Honey!

1274
01:18:01,114 --> 01:18:02,239
Sorry.

1275
01:18:04,951 --> 01:18:08,621
Suddenly, time travel seems
almost unnecessary,

1276
01:18:08,747 --> 01:18:10,790
because every detail of
life is so delightful.

1277
01:18:18,298 --> 01:18:19,757
What's his name?

1278
01:18:19,841 --> 01:18:20,966
Horace, I think.

1279
01:18:21,134 --> 01:18:22,259
Of course it is.

1280
01:18:22,344 --> 01:18:24,553
Only one important thing
for a godfather, I'm told,

1281
01:18:24,638 --> 01:18:26,972
never bring a present
smaller than the child.

1282
01:18:27,140 --> 01:18:29,475
Shut up, you smug bastard.

1283
01:18:29,601 --> 01:18:31,477
Don't worry, I didn't
bring anything at all.

1284
01:18:31,645 --> 01:18:33,521
She'll never know.
Hasn't got a brain yet.

1285
01:18:33,647 --> 01:18:35,648
I didn't expect to
see you here, Harry.

1286
01:18:35,816 --> 01:18:37,817
Children's party's
not exactly your style.

1287
01:18:37,984 --> 01:18:41,153
No, Mary, I was tricked. I was
told there would be free booze.

1288
01:18:43,031 --> 01:18:45,157
I hate kids, as you know.

1289
01:18:45,325 --> 01:18:46,951
Where's Kit Kat, by the way?

1290
01:18:47,285 --> 01:18:50,287
I don't know, she said
she'd be here around 3:00.

1291
01:18:50,372 --> 01:18:53,707
And you know we got purple
cupcakes for her especially.

1292
01:18:53,792 --> 01:18:55,501
Here she is!

1293
01:18:55,669 --> 01:18:57,109
Speak of the devil,
that will be her.

1294
01:18:58,839 --> 01:19:01,340
We'll wait till
Aunty Kit Kat gets here.

1295
01:19:02,342 --> 01:19:03,843
Hey. Jimmy.

1296
01:19:04,010 --> 01:19:05,511
Where's my sister?

1297
01:19:06,847 --> 01:19:07,847
Thought she was here.

1298
01:19:07,973 --> 01:19:09,014
No, she hasn't arrived.

1299
01:19:10,892 --> 01:19:12,435
That's not good.

1300
01:19:12,936 --> 01:19:14,603
What does that mean?

1301
01:19:14,729 --> 01:19:18,232
Um... We had an
argument this morning.

1302
01:19:18,358 --> 01:19:20,609
Over nothing, but
she'd been drinking, so...

1303
01:19:21,528 --> 01:19:25,072
And then she ran out to get
the car to come here and

1304
01:19:25,198 --> 01:19:27,575
I told her to
meet me here so...

1305
01:19:27,951 --> 01:19:31,370
There's a song by Baz
Luhrmann called Sunscreen.

1306
01:19:31,538 --> 01:19:33,706
He says worrying
about the future

1307
01:19:33,790 --> 01:19:35,124
is as effective
as trying to solve

1308
01:19:35,208 --> 01:19:38,043
an algebra equation
by chewing bubble gum.

1309
01:19:38,712 --> 01:19:40,796
The real troubles in your life

1310
01:19:40,922 --> 01:19:44,717
will always be things that never
crossed your worried mind.

1311
01:19:58,273 --> 01:19:59,440
What happened?

1312
01:20:01,234 --> 01:20:02,902
We had a fight.

1313
01:20:03,403 --> 01:20:04,403
And,

1314
01:20:05,739 --> 01:20:08,240
maybe I wasn't
completely sober.

1315
01:20:10,076 --> 01:20:11,952
How is she? Not good.

1316
01:20:12,245 --> 01:20:14,413
When did she leave you?
From where?

1317
01:20:14,581 --> 01:20:16,790
I want it exact.
Exact time. Exact address.

1318
01:20:26,593 --> 01:20:29,136
Here we are. Sorry, sorry.

1319
01:20:29,429 --> 01:20:30,679
Come on.

1320
01:20:31,681 --> 01:20:33,265
God.

1321
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:35,601
Hi. There she is.

1322
01:20:35,936 --> 01:20:37,937
Does a small baby live here?

1323
01:20:38,104 --> 01:20:42,274
Yes, and she's so excited.
She's downstairs.

1324
01:20:42,859 --> 01:20:44,944
Happy birthday, Posy.

1325
01:20:47,155 --> 01:20:49,698
I'm sorry.
I had to pick up Kit Kat.

1326
01:20:49,824 --> 01:20:51,617
I thought she was
gonna drive herself.

1327
01:20:51,743 --> 01:20:53,536
Turns out she couldn't.

1328
01:20:54,788 --> 01:20:56,914
She okay? Later.

1329
01:20:59,251 --> 01:21:01,210
I'm worried about Kit Kat.

1330
01:21:03,213 --> 01:21:05,214
Yeah. I know.

1331
01:21:05,882 --> 01:21:08,884
She was drinking wine
while we were drinking tea.

1332
01:21:09,511 --> 01:21:11,929
And Jimmy wasn't nice to her.

1333
01:21:12,055 --> 01:21:15,140
And she spurned
the purple cupcakes.

1334
01:21:15,934 --> 01:21:18,269
We have to do
something to fix it.

1335
01:21:20,438 --> 01:21:21,438
Yeah.

1336
01:21:22,440 --> 01:21:24,108
But, you know,

1337
01:21:24,818 --> 01:21:29,071
if it's gonna be fixed, I think she
probably has to do it herself.

1338
01:21:30,490 --> 01:21:31,490
Maybe.

1339
01:21:32,534 --> 01:21:34,034
Maybe not.

1340
01:21:37,998 --> 01:21:40,249
My darling. What's happened?

1341
01:21:40,584 --> 01:21:42,918
You're the best
person in the world.

1342
01:21:43,044 --> 01:21:45,337
You're top equal with
my wife. I don't get it.

1343
01:21:47,048 --> 01:21:49,008
Maybe, just maybe,

1344
01:21:50,135 --> 01:21:51,885
I'm the faller.

1345
01:21:52,762 --> 01:21:56,515
Every family has,
like, someone who falls,

1346
01:21:56,850 --> 01:21:59,810
who doesn't make the grade,
who stumbles,

1347
01:21:59,936 --> 01:22:01,937
who life trips up.

1348
01:22:02,480 --> 01:22:04,565
Maybe I'm our faller.

1349
01:22:05,692 --> 01:22:08,902
No.

1350
01:22:15,994 --> 01:22:18,996
Okay. I'm gonna
tell you a secret.

1351
01:22:19,122 --> 01:22:21,373
And you have to
promise to keep it.

1352
01:22:21,666 --> 01:22:23,042
We've always kept secrets.

1353
01:22:23,168 --> 01:22:24,543
We have?

1354
01:22:24,961 --> 01:22:27,630
You promise you
won't ever, ever, ever,

1355
01:22:27,797 --> 01:22:30,049
ever, ever, ever, ever,

1356
01:22:30,675 --> 01:22:33,344
ever, ever, ever, ever tell?

1357
01:22:33,637 --> 01:22:34,637
Yes.

1358
01:22:40,352 --> 01:22:42,770
I can travel in time.

1359
01:22:45,857 --> 01:22:48,150
Why are we standing in the
cupboard under the stairs?

1360
01:22:48,276 --> 01:22:51,783
Because we're gonna go back in time and
you're gonna do some things differently.

1361
01:22:51,821 --> 01:22:53,697
I love it when you're funny.

1362
01:22:53,823 --> 01:22:56,075
Grab my hand. Close your eyes.

1363
01:23:13,093 --> 01:23:16,512
My God! My God!

1364
01:23:17,222 --> 01:23:21,058
My arsing God in a box.

1365
01:23:25,980 --> 01:23:27,022
You're kidding?

1366
01:23:27,107 --> 01:23:30,818
I can go anywhere in time and you bring
me back to the worst party of all time.

1367
01:23:30,944 --> 01:23:33,028
'Fraid so. Let's go.

1368
01:23:35,949 --> 01:23:36,990
We've got work to do.

1369
01:23:37,117 --> 01:23:38,200
What work?

1370
01:23:38,326 --> 01:23:41,328
Making sure you do
not meet Jimmy Kincade.

1371
01:23:41,454 --> 01:23:42,871
Quick, in here.

1372
01:23:44,791 --> 01:23:46,375
But he's about to
fall in love with me!

1373
01:23:46,501 --> 01:23:48,127
Not this time he isn't.

1374
01:23:57,887 --> 01:24:01,223
Who's the pretty looking girl?
It's Jennifer, isn't it?

1375
01:24:01,349 --> 01:24:02,516
Yeah.

1376
01:24:02,642 --> 01:24:03,851
Wild!

1377
01:24:03,977 --> 01:24:05,310
I like your skirt, Jennifer.

1378
01:24:05,437 --> 01:24:06,770
Thank you.

1379
01:24:06,896 --> 01:24:09,356
Right, I get it.

1380
01:24:09,482 --> 01:24:13,569
If he hadn't met me, he would have
just had sex with someone else.

1381
01:24:13,987 --> 01:24:15,904
Nip it in the bud?

1382
01:24:18,908 --> 01:24:20,576
Excuse me, Jimmy.

1383
01:24:21,661 --> 01:24:23,579
Sorry. Do I know you?

1384
01:24:23,705 --> 01:24:25,539
Yeah, you do.

1385
01:24:26,124 --> 01:24:28,792
Very well. Sorry.

1386
01:24:28,918 --> 01:24:31,253
And this is what I should
have done right at the start.

1387
01:24:37,343 --> 01:24:40,512
Happy New Year, everybody.
Happy New Year.

1388
01:24:40,638 --> 01:24:42,556
And back to the cupboard.

1389
01:24:45,059 --> 01:24:46,226
Amazing!

1390
01:24:46,519 --> 01:24:47,811
What happens now?

1391
01:24:47,937 --> 01:24:49,229
God knows.

1392
01:24:49,355 --> 01:24:51,735
What I'm hoping is that from
this moment on you avoid

1393
01:24:51,774 --> 01:24:54,064
the sleazy bad guys because
they're sleazy and bad.

1394
01:24:54,402 --> 01:24:56,779
When did you get so serious?

1395
01:24:56,905 --> 01:24:59,239
Since it occurred to me
that I might lose you.

1396
01:25:01,993 --> 01:25:04,703
Brace yourself,
this could be weird.

1397
01:25:05,246 --> 01:25:07,206
Things will have changed.

1398
01:25:13,588 --> 01:25:14,922
My God.

1399
01:25:15,048 --> 01:25:16,048
What?

1400
01:25:16,216 --> 01:25:17,257
Jay.

1401
01:25:17,383 --> 01:25:19,176
Jay Jay? Yes.

1402
01:25:19,844 --> 01:25:23,222
And he's adorable. My God.

1403
01:25:24,808 --> 01:25:25,808
Right,

1404
01:25:26,434 --> 01:25:27,935
let's do this.

1405
01:25:33,900 --> 01:25:35,400
Come on, you two.

1406
01:25:36,069 --> 01:25:39,112
Mum's just cracked open
a packet of biscuits.

1407
01:25:44,410 --> 01:25:47,037
I've got
something in mind for you.

1408
01:25:47,121 --> 01:25:48,442
I know
what you're gonna say.

1409
01:25:48,581 --> 01:25:49,981
Have a biscuit and
come and help me.

1410
01:25:51,459 --> 01:25:53,794
But leave the rest for Uncle D.

1411
01:25:56,256 --> 01:25:58,549
It’s just tidying really.

1412
01:25:58,925 --> 01:26:00,926
You all right? I missed you.
Yeah.

1413
01:26:01,469 --> 01:26:04,096
Your mum wants me to do
some gardening. Okay.

1414
01:26:06,307 --> 01:26:09,184
it's tidying up, it's
all a bit out of control.

1415
01:26:09,269 --> 01:26:11,103
Anything that looks dead, out.

1416
01:26:11,271 --> 01:26:14,106
This is what we're looking for.
Okay? All this.

1417
01:26:14,274 --> 01:26:15,607
Dead stuff. See this.

1418
01:26:18,319 --> 01:26:20,737
They've torn them
to shreds, haven't they?

1419
01:26:33,668 --> 01:26:35,460
How did everything go?

1420
01:26:35,587 --> 01:26:37,337
Immensely satisfactory.

1421
01:26:37,755 --> 01:26:41,258
I'm so happy. I wanna
hear all about it.

1422
01:26:41,342 --> 01:26:43,558
Will you do dinner for us
because there's something

1423
01:26:43,597 --> 01:26:45,433
I have to do before
6:00 or I'll get fired?

1424
01:26:45,471 --> 01:26:48,765
Yeah. I can't think of
anything I'd love to do more.

1425
01:26:48,892 --> 01:26:51,977
Okay, where is the most
fabulous person in the world?

1426
01:26:52,145 --> 01:26:56,982
Come to your dad and get mashed
up food shoved into your mouth!

1427
01:27:04,115 --> 01:27:05,574
Hello there, little boy.

1428
01:27:09,495 --> 01:27:10,954
You just

1429
01:27:11,080 --> 01:27:13,498
wait there and I'll
be back in a minute.

1430
01:27:25,845 --> 01:27:27,763
Dad, can I have a quick word?

1431
01:27:27,847 --> 01:27:29,681
Yeah. Sure.

1432
01:27:31,684 --> 01:27:33,518
I can't go back past
the birth again, can I?

1433
01:27:33,645 --> 01:27:35,437
No. I should have
mentioned that.

1434
01:27:35,521 --> 01:27:38,065
You're okay till it
comes out but the exact

1435
01:27:38,191 --> 01:27:40,692
sperm at the exact
moment got you this

1436
01:27:40,860 --> 01:27:42,110
particular baby,

1437
01:27:42,195 --> 01:27:43,946
so if you do anything
the tiniest bit

1438
01:27:44,072 --> 01:27:45,822
different, you'll
have a different child.

1439
01:27:47,951 --> 01:27:52,621
So, every day until yesterday
is as it will always be? Lost?

1440
01:27:53,539 --> 01:27:55,832
Just like for everyone else.

1441
01:27:56,000 --> 01:27:57,876
Okay. interesting.

1442
01:27:58,670 --> 01:28:01,338
Tough. I love you, Dad.
I've gotta go.

1443
01:28:25,738 --> 01:28:27,656
No.

1444
01:28:27,740 --> 01:28:29,341
We're not leaving
this room until we find

1445
01:28:29,409 --> 01:28:33,203
a way of making sure
this never happens again.

1446
01:28:46,050 --> 01:28:47,759
Will you go now?

1447
01:29:01,065 --> 01:29:03,442
I have to leave Jimmy, don't I?

1448
01:29:04,444 --> 01:29:05,944
For good.

1449
01:29:06,904 --> 01:29:10,282
And I have to stop drinking.

1450
01:29:13,202 --> 01:29:15,120
And stop leaving jobs.

1451
01:29:17,123 --> 01:29:21,209
And I have to
go out with someone

1452
01:29:21,961 --> 01:29:24,629
nice and boring.

1453
01:29:27,633 --> 01:29:28,800
Yap.

1454
01:29:32,138 --> 01:29:35,265
And, you know, nice
isn't necessarily boring.

1455
01:29:35,391 --> 01:29:36,641
Like who?

1456
01:29:37,769 --> 01:29:39,269
Matt Damon?

1457
01:29:39,645 --> 01:29:40,979
Okay.

1458
01:29:41,981 --> 01:29:43,565
I'll go out with Matt Damon.

1459
01:29:43,649 --> 01:29:46,902
Tell me,
have you seen Jay recently?

1460
01:29:46,986 --> 01:29:51,490
Your Jay? What, sticky-up hair Jay?
Looks a bit like a Muppet Jay?

1461
01:29:51,616 --> 01:29:52,616
Yes.

1462
01:29:53,451 --> 01:29:56,411
He just popped into my head.
He's always had a crush on you.

1463
01:29:56,788 --> 01:29:58,789
Really? Yeah.

1464
01:30:00,458 --> 01:30:01,625
Weird!

1465
01:30:01,751 --> 01:30:04,127
Thinking of asking him to dinner.
Are you free?

1466
01:30:04,253 --> 01:30:08,006
Might be. Might have to
freshen up a bit first.

1467
01:30:08,132 --> 01:30:10,383
Yeah. You look shit.

1468
01:30:17,058 --> 01:30:18,433
Joanna.

1469
01:30:18,559 --> 01:30:19,976
Thank Christ you're back.

1470
01:30:20,103 --> 01:30:21,686
It’s been a total nightmare.

1471
01:30:21,854 --> 01:30:23,480
I know. it's all fine anyway.

1472
01:30:23,606 --> 01:30:25,107
Where is she?

1473
01:30:25,233 --> 01:30:28,527
it was the single worst night of my life.
Where's Posy?

1474
01:30:29,237 --> 01:30:31,696
There she is! Hello!

1475
01:30:31,823 --> 01:30:34,533
Hello! Hello.

1476
01:30:34,659 --> 01:30:36,868
Darling, how are you doing?

1477
01:30:40,456 --> 01:30:42,374
Let's have another one.

1478
01:30:44,168 --> 01:30:47,212
Screw that. No.

1479
01:30:49,090 --> 01:30:52,092
That hurt and I got fat.
Like fat-fat.

1480
01:30:52,218 --> 01:30:54,511
Got a little
bit fat, didn't she.

1481
01:30:54,846 --> 01:30:56,805
Tell Mummy you want a sister.

1482
01:30:56,931 --> 01:31:01,017
No. Tell Daddy you're happy
being an only child.

1483
01:31:02,770 --> 01:31:05,147
Fortunately we are
young and careless and

1484
01:31:05,273 --> 01:31:07,691
it wasn't long before
there were four of us.

1485
01:31:07,817 --> 01:31:11,194
And this is incredible. Posy
Lake, only 3 years old,

1486
01:31:11,320 --> 01:31:14,281
is about to break the women's
10 meter Olympic record.

1487
01:31:14,407 --> 01:31:18,535
They're gonna do it. And here they
are, they've done it! Fantastic.

1488
01:31:18,661 --> 01:31:21,371
That was brilliant.
You're so good.

1489
01:31:21,497 --> 01:31:22,914
Sleeping right
through all that.

1490
01:31:23,040 --> 01:31:25,292
Can you help me?
I'm so nervous.

1491
01:31:25,376 --> 01:31:27,711
What do I wear for dinner
with our bestselling author?

1492
01:31:27,837 --> 01:31:30,380
Let me finish up with the
monsters and I'll come right up.

1493
01:31:30,506 --> 01:31:31,715
Great. Thank you.

1494
01:31:32,049 --> 01:31:33,466
Go again.

1495
01:31:33,885 --> 01:31:36,511
Okay. How about this?

1496
01:31:36,637 --> 01:31:39,139
That's gorgeous.
Job done. Yeah.

1497
01:31:39,265 --> 01:31:42,434
No. Take it seriously. it's...

1498
01:31:43,060 --> 01:31:46,062
I don't know. No, I hate it.

1499
01:31:46,397 --> 01:31:48,106
Yeah. it's boring and

1500
01:31:48,608 --> 01:31:51,484
makes me look kind of lumpy.

1501
01:31:51,611 --> 01:31:54,404
No, you're right. it is boring and lumpy.
I hate it.

1502
01:31:56,282 --> 01:31:58,158
Okay. What about this?

1503
01:31:58,534 --> 01:32:00,493
Gorgeous. We did it.

1504
01:32:00,620 --> 01:32:03,205
No, it's too breasty.

1505
01:32:03,372 --> 01:32:05,415
Is it? Okay.

1506
01:32:05,541 --> 01:32:06,541
It’s not too breasty.

1507
01:32:06,626 --> 01:32:09,753
No. I'm not wearing these heels.
I look like a prostitute.

1508
01:32:09,837 --> 01:32:11,463
Not high heels, then.

1509
01:32:11,589 --> 01:32:13,173
But then we have
the short legs problem.

1510
01:32:13,299 --> 01:32:15,800
Well, do you want to look
like a prostitute or a dwarf?

1511
01:32:16,928 --> 01:32:19,054
Warning. That's a warning.

1512
01:32:22,725 --> 01:32:23,767
Yes!

1513
01:32:23,893 --> 01:32:24,893
No.

1514
01:32:28,814 --> 01:32:29,814
No!

1515
01:32:30,858 --> 01:32:32,943
Now that I like.

1516
01:32:33,236 --> 01:32:35,695
No, I'm just
picking up the dress

1517
01:32:35,821 --> 01:32:38,323
that this goes under.
Such a bad boy.

1518
01:32:40,743 --> 01:32:41,826
This one?

1519
01:32:41,994 --> 01:32:43,036
Not bad.

1520
01:32:43,663 --> 01:32:44,996
Or this one?

1521
01:32:45,122 --> 01:32:47,624
It’s a trick question, isn't it?
Same dress. No!

1522
01:32:48,167 --> 01:32:49,209
No?

1523
01:32:49,627 --> 01:32:51,795
Okay. I don't think
this one's too bad.

1524
01:32:52,213 --> 01:32:53,880
Yeah, it's fabulous.

1525
01:32:54,340 --> 01:32:55,966
Really? Yeah.

1526
01:32:56,092 --> 01:32:58,426
Okay. Great. Good.

1527
01:32:58,511 --> 01:32:59,636
Um...

1528
01:33:00,096 --> 01:33:01,805
How about the blue one?

1529
01:33:01,931 --> 01:33:03,598
The blue one? Yeah.

1530
01:33:03,724 --> 01:33:06,893
The first one that you tried
on that was boring and lumpy,

1531
01:33:06,978 --> 01:33:09,145
but that wasn't actually
boring and lumpy, that one?

1532
01:33:09,230 --> 01:33:11,147
Yeah, which do you prefer?

1533
01:33:11,274 --> 01:33:13,191
I don't know. I'm actually
starting to go mad.

1534
01:33:13,317 --> 01:33:14,693
I think I like the blue one.

1535
01:33:14,860 --> 01:33:16,236
Okay. Yeah.

1536
01:33:17,697 --> 01:33:20,282
Okay. Okay, let's go
with this one, then?

1537
01:33:20,408 --> 01:33:22,242
You look amazing.

1538
01:33:22,368 --> 01:33:23,535
Really? Yes.

1539
01:33:23,661 --> 01:33:25,245
Okay, thanks.

1540
01:33:25,788 --> 01:33:27,455
God.

1541
01:33:27,915 --> 01:33:29,666
Where's Posy?

1542
01:33:29,959 --> 01:33:31,793
I left her downstairs.

1543
01:33:32,253 --> 01:33:35,588
Not leaving the door open to the
room with the manuscript in it?

1544
01:33:36,632 --> 01:33:38,300
I don't think so.

1545
01:33:39,135 --> 01:33:41,553
Look at me. Look me in

1546
01:33:41,679 --> 01:33:45,098
And talk me through this.
Basically my life is over.

1547
01:33:45,224 --> 01:33:47,809
I really need to go out for just
like two minutes, maybe one.

1548
01:33:47,935 --> 01:33:49,602
Don't you dare!

1549
01:33:50,688 --> 01:33:53,232
Don't you dare answer that!
What am I gonna do?

1550
01:33:53,271 --> 01:33:55,813
I think that we should
really answer the phone.

1551
01:33:55,860 --> 01:33:57,319
If you answer
the goddamn phone,

1552
01:33:57,445 --> 01:33:58,903
I will kill you with the phone.

1553
01:33:58,988 --> 01:34:02,115
I won't answer the phone,
but I do need to get out.

1554
01:34:02,241 --> 01:34:04,242
No, no getting out,
no getting out. No.

1555
01:34:04,368 --> 01:34:05,869
Okay, right.

1556
01:34:05,995 --> 01:34:07,579
Sorry, Mr McEwan.

1557
01:34:07,705 --> 01:34:11,624
We read most of your book but,
you see, the rest of it was

1558
01:34:11,751 --> 01:34:14,377
coloured on or shredded.

1559
01:34:15,713 --> 01:34:16,713
Yeah.

1560
01:34:17,757 --> 01:34:19,799
I had no idea Posy
actually knew how to use

1561
01:34:19,925 --> 01:34:22,010
that machine.
In a way that's impressive.

1562
01:34:23,554 --> 01:34:26,222
What is it? How can I help you?

1563
01:34:28,934 --> 01:34:30,602
Mary.

1564
01:34:31,729 --> 01:34:33,897
No, everything... Sorry.

1565
01:34:34,774 --> 01:34:36,733
Your son will explain.

1566
01:34:36,859 --> 01:34:38,360
It’s your mother.

1567
01:34:39,028 --> 01:34:40,362
Hi, Mum.

1568
01:34:45,868 --> 01:34:47,869
No, no, it's okay. We'll...

1569
01:34:48,079 --> 01:34:49,829
We'll come straight down.

1570
01:34:50,706 --> 01:34:52,040
Okay, bye.

1571
01:35:06,639 --> 01:35:07,972
Hello, darling.

1572
01:35:08,140 --> 01:35:09,474
Mum. How are you?

1573
01:35:10,559 --> 01:35:11,643
Honestly?

1574
01:35:11,769 --> 01:35:12,811
Why not?

1575
01:35:13,229 --> 01:35:15,897
I am fucking furious.

1576
01:35:16,524 --> 01:35:21,194
I am so uninterested in
a life without your father.

1577
01:35:22,405 --> 01:35:24,656
Mary. Come on,
let's make some tea.

1578
01:35:25,533 --> 01:35:26,658
How are you?

1579
01:35:26,826 --> 01:35:27,909
Yeah, I'm fine.

1580
01:35:28,035 --> 01:35:29,160
Did you eat?

1581
01:35:29,286 --> 01:35:30,412
Yes, of course.

1582
01:35:36,460 --> 01:35:37,502
Desmond.

1583
01:35:38,921 --> 01:35:39,754
How are you?

1584
01:35:39,839 --> 01:35:41,589
I'm very well, thanks.

1585
01:35:42,007 --> 01:35:43,675
Though a little hot.

1586
01:35:47,847 --> 01:35:50,515
Your father,
I think, is not so well.

1587
01:35:51,517 --> 01:35:52,600
Cancer.

1588
01:35:53,853 --> 01:35:54,853
Yes.

1589
01:35:55,312 --> 01:35:57,814
I'm very unhappy about it, Tim.

1590
01:35:59,817 --> 01:36:01,818
At your wedding
he said he loved me.

1591
01:36:02,319 --> 01:36:04,320
He does. I know.

1592
01:36:06,282 --> 01:36:08,616
That was
the best day of my life.

1593
01:36:11,203 --> 01:36:13,538
So this is probably the worst.

1594
01:36:19,795 --> 01:36:20,795
Dad.

1595
01:36:23,048 --> 01:36:24,966
For God's sake.

1596
01:36:25,509 --> 01:36:27,343
Not you, too.

1597
01:36:27,470 --> 01:36:28,511
What?

1598
01:36:28,596 --> 01:36:32,390
Well, Kit Kat's just rolled up blubbing
her eyes out and now you're here.

1599
01:36:32,475 --> 01:36:33,933
What's Mum been saying?

1600
01:36:34,143 --> 01:36:35,185
The truth.

1601
01:36:35,311 --> 01:36:36,352
Yeah, well,

1602
01:36:37,521 --> 01:36:39,189
apart from that?

1603
01:36:40,107 --> 01:36:42,817
It may have been the
smoking but I couldn't

1604
01:36:42,943 --> 01:36:45,695
undo that as it was
before you were all born.

1605
01:36:46,405 --> 01:36:49,023
And anyway, your mother definitely
wouldn't have gone out with me

1606
01:36:49,108 --> 01:36:51,359
if I hadn't been
such a sexy smoker.

1607
01:36:54,455 --> 01:36:58,583
I did get diagnosed as soon as
possible, but it was too late.

1608
01:37:00,461 --> 01:37:01,753
How long have we got?

1609
01:37:01,921 --> 01:37:07,091
You know, it, it could be years.

1610
01:37:09,887 --> 01:37:11,554
How long really?

1611
01:37:14,266 --> 01:37:15,892
Weeks, I'm afraid.

1612
01:37:23,400 --> 01:37:25,902
Have we had this
conversation before?

1613
01:37:28,781 --> 01:37:29,781
Yeah.

1614
01:37:31,534 --> 01:37:33,243
What happened?

1615
01:37:33,369 --> 01:37:35,912
I rather let myself down.

1616
01:37:36,330 --> 01:37:37,997
I hugged you.

1617
01:37:57,309 --> 01:37:58,226
Sorry.

1618
01:37:58,310 --> 01:38:01,062
I think I just thought
with the time thing...

1619
01:38:01,689 --> 01:38:03,815
No, I never said
we could fix things.

1620
01:38:03,983 --> 01:38:06,067
I specifically never said that.

1621
01:38:06,193 --> 01:38:08,695
Life's a mixed bag,
no matter who you are.

1622
01:38:08,821 --> 01:38:10,738
Look at Jesus.
He was the Son of God,

1623
01:38:10,864 --> 01:38:12,824
for God's sake, and look
how that turned out.

1624
01:38:12,950 --> 01:38:14,200
I know, but

1625
01:38:15,160 --> 01:38:17,620
you must see
I feel a bit cheated.

1626
01:38:17,746 --> 01:38:20,164
Don't. In fact,
feel the opposite.

1627
01:38:20,332 --> 01:38:22,792
The only people who
give up work at 50

1628
01:38:22,918 --> 01:38:25,169
are the time travelers
with cancer who want

1629
01:38:25,337 --> 01:38:27,589
to play more table tennis
with their sons.

1630
01:38:29,717 --> 01:38:30,717
Right.

1631
01:38:32,511 --> 01:38:34,512
So that's been the deal?

1632
01:38:36,849 --> 01:38:40,518
I'm sorry we had to call.
It's suddenly got very bad.

1633
01:38:46,317 --> 01:38:48,802
And I have something very
important to tell you.

1634
01:38:48,840 --> 01:38:51,362
Or, let me check,

1635
01:38:51,697 --> 01:38:54,324
do you want to
know the big secret,

1636
01:38:54,408 --> 01:38:56,701
or would you rather find it
out for yourself like I did?

1637
01:38:56,827 --> 01:38:58,870
Christ,
there's another secret?

1638
01:38:59,705 --> 01:39:02,874
Less dramatic.
Much more important.

1639
01:39:03,626 --> 01:39:06,294
The real mothership.

1640
01:39:08,881 --> 01:39:11,382
No, go on. Tell me.

1641
01:39:11,717 --> 01:39:13,676
Let's save some time.

1642
01:39:18,891 --> 01:39:22,560
And so he told me his
secret formula for happiness.

1643
01:39:24,563 --> 01:39:26,648
Part one of the two part plan

1644
01:39:26,774 --> 01:39:28,816
was that I should just get on
with ordinary life,

1645
01:39:28,901 --> 01:39:31,903
living it day by day,
like anyone else.

1646
01:39:37,409 --> 01:39:42,246
This is our current statement with a
revised paragraph there, highlighted.

1647
01:39:45,584 --> 01:39:47,919
Rupert. Rupert, is that
the best you can do?

1648
01:39:49,046 --> 01:39:52,256
No. Absolutely not.
We can change that.

1649
01:39:52,383 --> 01:39:53,883
ltem number two.

1650
01:40:01,392 --> 01:40:04,102
Good afternoon, sir. Are you
eating in or taking away today?

1651
01:40:04,269 --> 01:40:05,603
Take away, please.

1652
01:40:05,729 --> 01:40:07,063
Yeah? No problem.

1653
01:40:07,189 --> 01:40:11,192
Lovely, that's 4.24 then, please, sir.
Thank you kindly.

1654
01:40:11,694 --> 01:40:14,278
Lovely. And there's your change, sir.
76 pence change.

1655
01:40:14,405 --> 01:40:16,114
Thanks. Thank you. Hello there.

1656
01:40:16,532 --> 01:40:17,812
Are you eating in
or taking away?

1657
01:40:23,372 --> 01:40:27,083
Do you find the Defendant, John
Welbeck, guilty or not guilty of fraud?

1658
01:40:27,167 --> 01:40:28,209
Not guilty.

1659
01:40:28,293 --> 01:40:31,757
And that is the verdict of you all? Yes.
Thank you. You may be seated.

1660
01:40:32,089 --> 01:40:33,131
Thank God.

1661
01:40:33,257 --> 01:40:35,633
Let the Defendant
be discharged.

1662
01:40:36,301 --> 01:40:38,302
Be upstanding in court.

1663
01:40:51,650 --> 01:40:53,484
Lights out? Yeah.

1664
01:40:54,319 --> 01:40:55,653
Tough day.

1665
01:40:56,989 --> 01:40:59,490
But then came
part two of Dad's plan.

1666
01:41:01,326 --> 01:41:05,663
He told me to live every day
again almost exactly the same.

1667
01:41:06,457 --> 01:41:08,916
The first time with all the
tensions and worries that

1668
01:41:09,001 --> 01:41:11,794
stop us noticing how
sweet the world can be,

1669
01:41:12,087 --> 01:41:14,672
but the second time noticing.

1670
01:41:14,798 --> 01:41:16,299
Okay, Dad.

1671
01:41:17,009 --> 01:41:18,509
Let's give it a go.

1672
01:41:23,932 --> 01:41:25,892
What's our statement
at the moment?

1673
01:41:26,226 --> 01:41:28,895
This is it with the revised...

1674
01:41:34,860 --> 01:41:38,696
Robert, this does not pass.
Is this the best you can do?

1675
01:41:40,532 --> 01:41:42,241
I'll leave you two
to thrash this out.

1676
01:41:45,037 --> 01:41:46,287
Ooh.

1677
01:41:48,874 --> 01:41:50,875
Good afternoon, sir.
Good afternoon.

1678
01:41:51,001 --> 01:41:53,503
Are you eating in or taking away today?
Take away, please.

1679
01:41:53,587 --> 01:41:54,796
Would you like a bag?

1680
01:41:54,922 --> 01:41:56,172
That's fine.

1681
01:41:56,256 --> 01:41:58,889
Lovely. That's 6.23 then, please.
And enjoy the rest of your day.

1682
01:41:58,984 --> 01:42:00,318
Thank you. Bye-bye.

1683
01:42:01,094 --> 01:42:02,094
Hello, there.

1684
01:42:05,766 --> 01:42:07,558
Look around you! What?

1685
01:42:07,684 --> 01:42:08,893
Isn't this room beautiful?

1686
01:42:09,019 --> 01:42:10,186
Yeah.

1687
01:42:10,729 --> 01:42:12,063
Come on.

1688
01:42:12,898 --> 01:42:14,190
Not guilty.

1689
01:42:18,070 --> 01:42:19,403
Fantastic!

1690
01:42:52,563 --> 01:42:54,564
So not such
a bad day after all?

1691
01:42:54,648 --> 01:42:57,733
No. it was pretty good really.

1692
01:42:58,777 --> 01:43:01,445
Very good day, actually,
as it turns out.

1693
01:43:02,322 --> 01:43:04,782
Well, that's a relief,

1694
01:43:05,784 --> 01:43:08,786
because if it had
been a very bad day,

1695
01:43:09,246 --> 01:43:13,249
I thought I might have had to have
had sex with you to make up for it.

1696
01:43:14,793 --> 01:43:15,793
Goodnight.

1697
01:43:20,799 --> 01:43:23,175
It was a very, very bad day.

1698
01:43:23,302 --> 01:43:25,678
It went very, very badly.

1699
01:43:25,804 --> 01:43:28,472
I got fired from my job.

1700
01:43:29,308 --> 01:43:31,475
And then I killed a man.

1701
01:43:37,149 --> 01:43:39,317
That is a very bad day.

1702
01:43:39,484 --> 01:43:41,485
It’s terrible. Yeah.

1703
01:43:42,446 --> 01:43:44,780
Like the worst day ever.

1704
01:43:45,324 --> 01:43:46,991
So sorry.

1705
01:43:51,914 --> 01:43:55,499
Some days, of course, though,
you only want to go through once.

1706
01:43:56,335 --> 01:43:57,501
You okay?

1707
01:44:49,012 --> 01:44:51,889
Right, are we ready for this?

1708
01:44:52,307 --> 01:44:55,726
'Course we're not. Hateful day.

1709
01:44:56,561 --> 01:44:59,397
Just give me one minute.

1710
01:45:21,753 --> 01:45:23,754
This is so brilliant.

1711
01:45:24,673 --> 01:45:29,343
Dickens is so good on
actual jokes, actual gags.

1712
01:45:30,262 --> 01:45:32,013
Where have you come from?

1713
01:45:32,389 --> 01:45:33,931
It’s the...

1714
01:45:34,266 --> 01:45:35,933
Okay.

1715
01:45:36,226 --> 01:45:37,768
Big day.

1716
01:45:38,603 --> 01:45:42,064
Thanks for dropping in.
How's Uncle Desmond's suit?

1717
01:45:42,190 --> 01:45:44,025
Immaculate.

1718
01:45:44,276 --> 01:45:45,276
Excellent.

1719
01:45:45,944 --> 01:45:47,624
Did I mention I wanted
the Nick Cave track?

1720
01:45:47,696 --> 01:45:49,363
It’s taken care of.

1721
01:45:49,448 --> 01:45:50,906
Thank you.

1722
01:45:51,283 --> 01:45:53,617
Can I just read
you this one bit?

1723
01:45:57,956 --> 01:46:00,458
Read away,
I've got lots of time.

1724
01:46:01,126 --> 01:46:03,002
?'l think the Romans
must have aggravated

1725
01:46:03,086 --> 01:46:05,796
?'one another very
much with their noses.

1726
01:46:05,964 --> 01:46:09,467
?'Perhaps they became the restless
people they were in consequence.

1727
01:46:09,593 --> 01:46:12,803
?'Anyhow, Mr Wopsle's Roman
nose so aggravated me...?'

1728
01:47:48,692 --> 01:47:51,026
What do you
think about the kids?

1729
01:47:51,153 --> 01:47:52,653
What about them?

1730
01:47:53,697 --> 01:47:55,906
Not many of them, are there?

1731
01:47:56,992 --> 01:47:57,992
What?

1732
01:47:58,702 --> 01:48:00,703
Well, I mean two?

1733
01:48:03,498 --> 01:48:05,875
It’s more than
the Chinese are allowed.

1734
01:48:07,836 --> 01:48:10,504
I just thought
that maybe, you know,

1735
01:48:11,590 --> 01:48:13,340
it was time for
the insurance baby.

1736
01:48:13,425 --> 01:48:14,425
What?

1737
01:48:14,509 --> 01:48:15,926
In case one of them
is really smart,

1738
01:48:16,011 --> 01:48:18,408
we don't want the other one to
feel stupid their whole life.

1739
01:48:18,446 --> 01:48:22,725
And if we had a third one, then
we could have two happy dummies.

1740
01:48:25,520 --> 01:48:27,188
What do you think?

1741
01:48:31,526 --> 01:48:34,028
It was the toughest
decision of my life.

1742
01:48:34,529 --> 01:48:36,947
Saying 'yes' to
the future meant

1743
01:48:37,073 --> 01:48:39,450
saying 'goodbye'
to my dad. Forever.

1744
01:48:41,244 --> 01:48:43,245
Why don't we wait a bit?

1745
01:48:46,124 --> 01:48:47,291
Absolutely.

1746
01:48:48,126 --> 01:48:50,127
You're right. Yeah.

1747
01:48:54,758 --> 01:48:57,551
How about now?

1748
01:48:59,471 --> 01:49:00,804
Or now?

1749
01:49:03,141 --> 01:49:04,308
Now?

1750
01:49:11,733 --> 01:49:12,733
Yeah,

1751
01:49:14,110 --> 01:49:15,110
okay.

1752
01:49:16,613 --> 01:49:17,655
Really?

1753
01:49:19,950 --> 01:49:22,618
Dad always wished
there had been more of us.

1754
01:49:23,411 --> 01:49:24,411
So...

1755
01:49:26,831 --> 01:49:29,500
Anyway, we might try
and nothing happens.

1756
01:49:30,085 --> 01:49:31,085
Exactly.

1757
01:49:39,844 --> 01:49:41,845
Really could be tonight.

1758
01:49:41,930 --> 01:49:44,431
And you cannot believe
the detail in which

1759
01:49:44,516 --> 01:49:46,433
I know the route
to the hospital.

1760
01:49:46,518 --> 01:49:47,851
Yap.

1761
01:49:51,189 --> 01:49:53,023
Will you excuse me for a sec?

1762
01:49:53,942 --> 01:49:55,609
Just have to go downstairs.

1763
01:50:12,294 --> 01:50:15,296
and it's 17-20 in
this incredibly tight contest

1764
01:50:15,380 --> 01:50:17,172
being played by
the two most physically

1765
01:50:17,299 --> 01:50:19,049
perfect players in
the history of the game.

1766
01:50:19,217 --> 01:50:22,052
The crowd, enchanted by the
younger player, are seduced

1767
01:50:22,137 --> 01:50:24,888
by memories of the older
player's illustrious past.

1768
01:50:26,891 --> 01:50:28,892
My God, I've won.

1769
01:50:29,728 --> 01:50:32,062
I haven't won in years.

1770
01:50:32,564 --> 01:50:34,523
You finally got good.

1771
01:50:35,233 --> 01:50:38,861
What's my prize? Apart from the
Olympic gold medal, of course.

1772
01:50:39,904 --> 01:50:41,113
A kiss will have to do.

1773
01:50:41,239 --> 01:50:44,241
A kiss?

1774
01:50:49,581 --> 01:50:51,540
I get you.

1775
01:50:52,917 --> 01:50:54,418
This is it, then?

1776
01:50:56,379 --> 01:50:57,755
This is it.

1777
01:50:58,548 --> 01:51:00,758
It’s my last bit of extra time.

1778
01:51:02,052 --> 01:51:03,677
The baby is
completely on the way.

1779
01:51:24,783 --> 01:51:26,116
Congratulations.

1780
01:51:33,124 --> 01:51:34,625
My son.

1781
01:51:37,962 --> 01:51:39,588
My dad.

1782
01:51:44,552 --> 01:51:46,595
Is there anything
at all I can do?

1783
01:51:46,721 --> 01:51:48,806
Is there anything
you want to do?

1784
01:51:50,600 --> 01:51:53,268
I don't know. There is this

1785
01:51:55,063 --> 01:51:56,730
one thing.

1786
01:51:57,065 --> 01:51:59,149
A quick little walk.

1787
01:51:59,275 --> 01:52:01,151
Totally against the rules,
of course,

1788
01:52:01,277 --> 01:52:03,153
but if we don't change a thing,

1789
01:52:03,488 --> 01:52:06,824
if we're very careful,
it shouldn't do any harm.

1790
01:52:07,325 --> 01:52:08,951
It would be nice.

1791
01:52:39,357 --> 01:52:42,359
I'm really trying.
I'm really trying.

1792
01:52:44,195 --> 01:52:45,487
Get down low.

1793
01:52:50,201 --> 01:52:51,201
Total defeat.

1794
01:53:00,962 --> 01:53:02,296
I'm tired.

1795
01:53:03,298 --> 01:53:04,715
Thanks, Dad.

1796
01:53:20,231 --> 01:53:23,066
So I'm almost
up-to-date with my story.

1797
01:53:23,568 --> 01:53:27,070
As all families do, we got
used to life after death.

1798
01:53:27,197 --> 01:53:29,072
And it was still fine.

1799
01:53:29,866 --> 01:53:34,036
And things settled back into their traditional
rhythms season after season,

1800
01:53:34,496 --> 01:53:36,914
and are much as
they have always been.

1801
01:53:38,249 --> 01:53:40,918
And we've got used to
Kit Kat being happy again.

1802
01:53:41,878 --> 01:53:44,379
And then we got used
to her being a mum.

1803
01:53:44,756 --> 01:53:47,424
Albeit not a very
good or even safe one.

1804
01:53:48,843 --> 01:53:50,219
And in the end,

1805
01:53:50,345 --> 01:53:54,014
I think I've learned the final
lesson from my travels in time.

1806
01:53:54,807 --> 01:53:57,851
And I've even gone one step
further than my father did.

1807
01:54:08,821 --> 01:54:10,489
Okay, I'll do the kids.

1808
01:54:12,325 --> 01:54:14,910
No, don't worry. I'll do them.

1809
01:54:15,036 --> 01:54:16,703
Yeah, you do them,
you lazy bum.

1810
01:54:17,872 --> 01:54:19,836
The truth is, I now
don't travel back at all.

1811
01:54:19,874 --> 01:54:21,875
Not even for the day.

1812
01:54:22,293 --> 01:54:24,878
I just try to
live every day as if

1813
01:54:25,004 --> 01:54:27,631
I've deliberately
come back to this one day

1814
01:54:28,007 --> 01:54:31,677
to enjoy it as if it
was the full final day

1815
01:54:31,928 --> 01:54:34,680
of my extraordinary,
ordinary life.

1816
01:55:02,959 --> 01:55:06,670
Hello, you're down already. That's great.
Thank you so much for that.

1817
01:55:06,796 --> 01:55:08,171
And in we go.

1818
01:55:09,799 --> 01:55:12,593
Posy? Posy!

1819
01:55:20,977 --> 01:55:21,977
That's fine.

1820
01:55:43,458 --> 01:55:46,293
We're all travelling
through time together

1821
01:55:46,586 --> 01:55:48,754
every day of our lives.

1822
01:55:48,921 --> 01:55:51,423
All we can do is do our best

1823
01:55:51,883 --> 01:55:54,635
to relish this remarkable ride.

1824
01:56:37,595 --> 01:56:39,513
Yes, yes, yes...

1825
01:56:51,818 --> 01:56:53,902
Okay, I'll see you then.

1826
01:56:54,028 --> 01:56:55,445
Bye-bye.

1827
01:56:56,114 --> 01:56:57,614
See you later.