Kremit-Froese

Michael was sitting down at one of the tables in the school’s foyer. Mum had to go into work early today, so that meant she’d have to drive Michael over to school earlier than usual. Consequently, here he was, sitting alone, scrolling through the wikipedia page for the year 237. He was reading through every year’s page and the pages of people who’d died in that year, in chronological order. So far, he’d learned Maximinus Thrax was a huge fucking asshole. Like, Alexander Severus was doing an okay job, why’d they have t-

Oh.

Uh oh spaghettio.

Samuel Stafford was sitting down at an adjacent table. Hoooo boy...Sam was...well, he was Sam. Some fuckin’ fedora ass piece of shit. Hnnnnnnng look at me I’m Sam Stafford video games are the only defining part of my personality!

Michael sighed. Okay, maybe it wouldn’t be that bad if it was just Sam. Like, if it was just Sam moping around here, he probably wouldn’t say or do anything that would end up being either really fucking annoying or really fucking stupid.

Oh, if only it were possible for Sam to be the only one here. They were like mice, for every one wacko, there were invariably like five more crawling around in the walls, just waiting to scurry from the woodwork and ruin everything. Okay, maybe that mental analogy might’ve fallen apart[i] a bit [/i], but the point still stood. Michael had to enjoy the bliss of sweet, sweet almost-silence for the short amount of time he could.

About six minutes later, another mouse scurried out of the woodwork.[i] Ha, nice callback, me. That was dumb though.[/i]

Whilst Michael was coping with his eternal internal distress via mental rambling, Jake Sumrall was sitting down across from Sam Stafford. Michael internally shook his fist at Jake.[i] Damn you, Jake Sumrall! [/i]

To be honest, Jake was one of the more tolerable of the not-smart nerd clique. In Michael’s mind, there were the smart nerds, who were people who were actually good at school stuff and had futures, and then there were the not-smart nerds; people who spent all their time playing video games or whatever it was they did, and expressly did not give jack shit whether or not they did good in school. Michael was generally a big fan of the first group—though he wasn’t a member of it per say, he had a load of friends in it, and the most offensive thing they ever did was be good at stuff. HOWEVER, the not-smart nerds were second only to the stoners in Michael’s hierarchy of hate. Like, at least the not-smart nerds were destined for more than sitting around high off of their asses all day.

Anyways, Jake Sumrall. Michael and him were actually on somewhat friendly terms, which mostly amounted to shittalking the more insufferable of Jake’s friends, like Richard. Especially Richard. Fuckin’ Dick. Why did Dick have to have that name? It just made things so [i][b]easy[/i][/b].

Oh, now Sam and Jake were talking about Super Smash Bros. or something. [i]Oh joy[/i]. Michael fished some earbuds out of his pocket and plugged them into his phone. He put the sound-producing ends into his ears and started playing the Gary Jules version of Mad World. He couldn’t help but smile; what the actual fuck was he doing? Being a melodramatic piece of shit was fun!

The lonely piano intro was playing. [i]”Doo doo doo doo doo doo dun dun dun dun doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Beat. All around me are fami-”[/i]

Sam and Jake were talking about how Kirby was shit or whatever, and they were doing it loudly. Hahaha lol XD u r worse than Kirby Sam! NO U R WORSE THAN KIRBY, JAKE HAHA LOLZ. Please stop. Pleeeeeeaaaase.



[i]”-liar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhe-”[/i]



Oh great, here came Cole fucking Landon. The only person worse than Cole was Dick—well, some other people too, like Nazis and serial killers, but for all Michael knew [i]Cole could be both of those![/i] Wow, plot twist! [i]Cole Landon is Joseph Mengele CONFIRMED![/i] Michael was finding this enjoyable. Just the pure ridiculousness of the combination of Mad World, self-loathing, and Cole Landon being a secret Mengele was too much. IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH!



[i]”-re, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses-”[/i]

Me too, sad song, me too, Michael thought. He smiled again. This was so fucking stupid.


[i]”-No expression, no expression-”[/i]


[i]AW HECK![/i] Michael quickly unsmiled, looking around shiftily. [i]Oh jeez, I hope nobody thinks I’m a weirdo, because they’d be right but I’d be sad.[/i] This was putting him in a surprisingly good mood.



[i]”-Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
I find it k-[/”i]


Michael found himself glancing at Cole’s face. Christ, he looked like the moon. No, not the moon. What the hell was going on in his brain right now? Probably too much fun and “happiness”. Yeah anyways, Cole’s face looked like shit. Like, Christ dude, [i]take a fucking shower[/i], jeez. Maybe instead of blood, he just had pus flowing through his veins—[i]woah okay calm down, you fucking monster.[/i] Yeah, that might’ve been too far, now he felt bad. Oh well.


[i]”-ind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
Find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world, mad world-”[/i]


Hnnnnnnggggg look at me i’m Cole and Jake and Sam! Nair left jump down smash A B nair lair bair Y-dash Kirby nair down smash B King Dedede melee VIDEO GAMES!


[i]”-Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen-”[/i]


[i] Ha, it’s funny because it’s me. [/i]


[i]”-Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right thro-”[/i]


Oh, here comes James Nilssen, AKA. Neckbeard McLegendOfZeldaBackpack. He was shaped like a pear. Literally shaped like a pear. Like, Michael was all for body acceptance, but JEEEEEEEEESUS man. James’ ass alone probably weighed twice as much as Michael did.


[i]”-ugh me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
Find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard t-”[/i]


Hey James! Yeah Cole? Let’s talk about video games as LOUD AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE! WOW COLE THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REAL GOOD IDEA. Like, Michael had no problem with someone if they played video games—he himself played way more than he’d admit—but, like, don’t base your whole fucking life on them, y’know? Like, have more to your identity than your hobby, right?


[i]”-o take
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world
Mad world
Mad world
Mad world.”[/i]


Well, now that that was over, Michael just felt kind of empty. He took out the earbuds and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. He...he didn’t feel good. Michael propped his arm up on the table, resting his head against his hand. Why did he always have to be such a [i]cunt[/i]? Like, those weirdos might be annoying, but at least they’re [i]happy[/i]. You are nothing; you’re just an empty void, a vacuum of a person.

By the time the bell rang and school started, Michael was crying.