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a guest May 26th, 2019 74 Never
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  1. Creepy Old Guy:
  2. Lydia:
  3. Way back when,
  4. I was just ten,
  5. Weakly naive.
  6.  
  7. Men would leer,
  8. Whistle and jeer,
  9. Out on the street.
  10.  
  11. And I felt used,
  12. Dirty, confused,
  13. And I would refuse to look in their eyes,
  14. But now I really love creepy old guys.
  15.  
  16. All:
  17. We all do!
  18.  
  19. Lydia:
  20. Gum disease,
  21. Skin like grilled cheese,
  22. Saggy old asses.
  23.  
  24. Adam:
  25. Saggy old asses!
  26.  
  27. Lydia:
  28. You’ve been [vile],
  29. [Yeah/young?] hey baby smile,
  30. Jealous [and vapid].
  31.  
  32. They make me blush,
  33. Can’t get enough,
  34. Now one of them loves me and wants to be mine.
  35.  
  36. All:
  37. That’s right!
  38.  
  39. Lydia:
  40. Marrying my own creepy old guy.
  41.  
  42. BJ:
  43. I’m a creepy old guy!
  44.  
  45. Lydia:
  46. My creepy old guy,
  47. My creepy old guy,
  48. I’m so happy I could cry.
  49.  
  50. Charles:
  51. Turns out love is deaf and dumb,
  52. As well as being blind.
  53.  
  54. Lydia:
  55. Creepy old groom,
  56.  
  57. Barbara?:
  58. Creepy old groom,
  59. [It’s] Lydia’s wedding [too/dude].
  60.  
  61. Lydia:
  62. Hey folks step aside.
  63.  
  64. BJ (spoken):
  65. Y’know, I am older,
  66. But I’m glad I waited.
  67.  
  68. Lydia:
  69. Cause here comes the bride,
  70. I am marrying my creepy old guy.
  71.  
  72. All:
  73. Creepy old guy,
  74. Creepy old guy,
  75. Creepy old guy.
  76.  
  77. Lydia:
  78. My creepy old guy!
  79.  
  80. All:
  81. Creepy old guy,
  82. Creepy old guy,
  83. Creepy old guy.
  84.  
  85. Lydia:
  86. Don’t look shocked,
  87. Put on a frock,
  88. Something less formal.
  89.  
  90. All:
  91. Something less formal.
  92.  
  93. Adam:
  94. She’s merely a teen,
  95. Living her dream,
  96. This is so normal.
  97.  
  98. All:
  99. There’s nothing weird about it!
  100.  
  101. Lydia:
  102. Thanks for your support,
  103. You’re all great sports,
  104. I’m marrying a corpse,
  105. Alright, surprise!
  106.  
  107. Get a load of my,
  108. Creepy old guy.
  109.  
  110. BJ (spoken):
  111. I’ve never felt so beautiful!
  112.  
  113. Lydia:
  114. You look scared,
  115. Like you’re prepared,
  116. For Armageddon.
  117.  
  118. Sharp and groomed,
  119. Out of a tomb.
  120.  
  121. Delia:
  122. Hey it’s a wedding!
  123.  
  124. Lydia:
  125. [Dim] the lights,
  126. Pick up some rice,
  127. Say something nice,
  128. It’s my day to shine.
  129.  
  130. Getting hitched to my creepy old.
  131.  
  132. BJ:
  133. It’s showtime!
  134.  
  135. Lydia:
  136. My creepy old guy,
  137. My creepy old guy.
  138.  
  139. All:
  140. She’s marrying a creepy old guy.
  141.  
  142. Charles:
  143. Have you guys seen Lolita?
  144. This is just like that but fine.
  145.  
  146. All:
  147. Creepy old dude,
  148. Creepy old dude,
  149. Our [bank?] had been reviewed,
  150. And love is alive.
  151.  
  152. Lydia:
  153. Wave your baby girl goodbye,
  154. I am walking down the aisle,
  155. I wanna see a tear in every eye,
  156. As I pass by.
  157.  
  158. I know that on the outside he’s disgusting,
  159. And even on the inside he’s disgusting,
  160. But I know that this time I’m making it right,
  161. With my family by side.
  162.  
  163. BJ:
  164. Oh my God,
  165. My heart’s beating hard,
  166. I’m so fricking nervous.
  167.  
  168. Look at those flowers,
  169. I so should’ve showered,
  170. It’s such a nice service.
  171.  
  172. After all that I’ve done,
  173. I leveraged her mom,
  174. Ruined her family,
  175. Cheated and lied.
  176.  
  177. Still I’ve got my own,
  178. Underage bride!
  179.  
  180. All:
  181. Here comes the bride,
  182. Here comes the bride,
  183. [idk].
  184.  
  185. Can’t believe some cultures think,
  186. This kinda thing’s alright.
  187.  
  188. Lydia:
  189. My creepy old guy,
  190. My creepy old guy,
  191. Doesn’t he deserve a chance at a life?
  192.  
  193. BJ:
  194. Oh yeah,
  195. That’s right.
  196.  
  197. Lydia:
  198. So let’s make him [alive?],
  199. I am marrying my,
  200. Creepy old guy.
  201.  
  202. All:
  203. Creepy old guy, guy, guy,
  204. Creepy old guy, guy, guy,
  205. Creepy old guy, guy, guy,
  206. Yeah!
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