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- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhcyeIEBT4I
- Instrumental: no fucking idea
- Gabe: What the hell?
- Tim:
- Welcome to my software,
- Welcome to my store,
- Welcome to the launcher
- That China also owns...
- Epicopolis, my metropolis!
- My favorite place to be,
- Epicopolis, my metropolis!
- Where it's all for one and that one is me
- From Epic's own engine to Epic's very store,
- All features, service and support
- Are here for devs, not you!
- You know, until Sergey came along, this was just a Fortnite launcher but now it's...
- Epicopolis, my metropolis!
- The region that I rule,
- Epicopolis, my metropolis!
- Now welcome to shill school
- Chorus:
- E-P-I-C! Epic, Epic! On PC!
- Tim:
- Epicopolis, my metropolis!
- A wondrous place to be,
- Devs who sold out:
- It's glorious,
- Victorious,
- Steam users are notorious
- Free money are euphorious
- Tim:
- And here is what you'll see:
- Fortnite movies starring me,
- My name in lights on the E3,
- Epic books and magazines,
- Epic actions, RPGs,
- Epic shooters, strategies,
- Add plastformers to all these
- All the dogs are remote eaters,
- Exclusives help the industry,
- Just you watch how I shitpost on my own Twitter:
- Epicopolis, my metropolis!
- With games and sales, whatever,
- Our sales are all backed up,
- And now a look at Trello.
- Tim: I can't wait to show you my new project: EpicGOG! There's a non-DRM shop on the spot right now, but you can't stop progress. Epicopolis is growing, and soon, soon, soon it will become...
- Chorus: Epicopolis Megalopolis!
- Tim: My evil legacy
- Chorus: Epicopolis! (Tim: I buy out finished games!)
- Customer: That's not how you do business!
- Tim: It is to me!
- Some players tried to run and hide,
- But they just can't get free!
- 'Cause when Steam's dead, you'll bow your head,
- To Epic Store of me!
- (Ha ha ha ha ha!)
- Chorus: Welcome to his city,
- Welcome to his land
- Tim and chorus:
- Welcome to the empire
- That Tencent rules with iron hand!
- Epicopolis!
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