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- A smallish figure would slowly squeeze its way out of a nearby alley, and loosen the phlegm in its throat before spitting onto the ground. The cheery, gap-toothed smile widened, and the owner stretched, popping her back loudly before taking a moment to scratch herself with the large, gnarled stick she carried with her.
- With a satisfied sigh, she straightened, and whistled to herself, hopping over the nearby cobblestones. A rat darted by, and she winked at it, and blew a kiss. "ShHhHhHhhh, poppet! Don't wanna alert the doggies yer out, ay? They'll make a right quick meal of you, 'round here..."
- Blue / IronsoulLast Tuesday at 5:08 AM
- Through the ghetto of Skyholm a large, pompadoured figure troughed through the muck and poverty with a sense of style that seemed inordinate for the location. His gleaming grin and his easy gait brought an almost pompous amount of swagger to the slums. He even began to snap to a soundless rhythm, feeling so comfortable in these quiet, dirty streets.
- The newcomer's armor snapped along with him, clinking and clanking as metal joints bent to allow his movement. His display might look ridiculous, but he made it a point to enjoy his rituals when he could, and what better time to do so than a lonely one, righ-
- The crack of a back was heard, and he turned his to examine the source of the noise. "You...talkin' to me?" Ozbourne asked the small, filthy woman who he thought just appeared from nowhere when, in reality, he had just failed to acknowledge her while reveling in his own sense of self-gratification. He grimaced a bit as he realized just how unwashed that little woman was - while his glorious do was gelled and oiled and well-kept, this gal's hair looked like dry seaweed. It made his styling fingers itch towards some washing cream that wasn't there. @Iffy {Cyn, Raphtalia}
- Iffy {Cyn, Raphtalia}Last Tuesday at 7:51 PM
- The moment her eyes focused on the gleaming, shiny armor and his confidence, the poor sewer dwelling gremlin of a woman was immediately smitten. She grinned widely, showing off the large gap in her front teeth. She stared blankly at him, and continued to smile for an uncomfortably long moment, leaning heavily on her gnarled staff. Only when he spoke did she slowly seem to snap out of it, and coughed for a moment, slyly pushing her dry and brittle hair behind her shoulder- as if she thought this a seductive move that true ladies did.
- "M-me? Oh! Oh, no sir, no sir. Wow, you're right pretty sir. So shiny. You some kinda royalty?"
- She straightened and smoothed out her dirty, torn linen dress. Grease stains and god knows what else smudged and dirtied what appeared to be light fabric, irreparably darkened by grime. Her bare feet were unspeakably filthy from long-nailed toes to her knobby knees.
- Coyly, she'd lean forward, and brush up against his armor. "But then again, this can't be your usual scene either, eh? So, what brings you down to the sewers~?"
- Blue / IronsoulLast Wednesday at 3:31 AM
- How could anyone resist him? It was pretty impossible, what with his perfect hair and strong jaw, his bulging muscles and essentially every other part of him. He didn't like to brag, but it was rare he met someone as yoked as him. Unfortunately, this smitten look came from a little ball of sludge and poor life decisions. He grimaced as he was forced to experience just how dirty her teeth were, like they had never experienced the cleansing bristles of a tooth brush.
- The moment his attention was drawn to her body, because as is proper he always examined the women he was talking to, he realized just how hard a man could grimace.
- "Have you showered....ever?" He asked bluntly, taking a step back from her as an overwhelming burst of disgust flowed through him.
- With some distance between them, he felt prepared to actually address her, "Not royalty, but I'm pretty regal looking, huh?" He said, running a hand through his hair as he appreciated himself even more with this new benchmark of ugly set for him by this squalid witch. "And you're right about that. Don't usually hang around slums but they're the best place to figure out what a city is really like, dig?" He asked, looking around for good measure. "I like to take a look and get a taste of the local flavor."
- Iffy {Cyn, Raphtalia}Last Wednesday at 7:32 PM
- She sighed dreamily as she watched him caress his hair. The man was figuratively glowing- sparkling, even. She curled a finger in her hair, bashful, and fluttered her lashes, only briefly choking at the notion of a shower.
- "A- a shower? Wot? Do I look like some sorta limp-wristed princess? I'd just get dirty again. S'no point. Dirt works just as well. 'Sides, Ratticus, me familiar, don't like it much. It's fine- not like I'm covered in blood, just dirt! Round here, that's pretty good!" She'd beam, so proud of herself. It was somewhat true: she was queen of the pits.
- "Name's Raphtalia," she said, and her blue eyes would fixate on his face as she stepped uncomfortably close to him. "Couldn't agree more~! Look look look, how's about we make a deal. I'll show you around the slums and streets of this here city, and in return, you give me a lil kiss?" Her face reddened, and she cupped her cheeks and closed her eyes, grinning widely- very clearly imagining the handsome and glorious hero before her bestowing her with a small smooch.
- Blue / IronsoulLast Thursday at 12:32 AM
- "What the heck do you mean 'wot'?" He asked, his nose shriveling up as he smelt the fruits of a pit queen's diligence. This was just insane, how could she exist? Well, if someone like him could exist he supposed his inverse also had to, and she certainly fit that bill. Small, gross, and ugly. "Just...just don't shower with your rats, being covered in dirt makes you look like garbage and makes people not want to be around you because you smell like a dung farm." He just gave it to her straight - he didn't like to be so blunt and devastating with folks he just met, but this woman was an absolute nutcase.
- "Absolutely." He found himself saying before he could process his revulsion - his automatic response when girls wanted to kiss him was to say yes, and unfortunately his mind couldn't act fast enough to stop his automated responses. That isn't how it works for most sentient beings, but it was how it worked for Ozbourne Ironsoul. "Oooooooon one condition." He hastily added, face white with terror at the thought of contracting EVERY disease from her. "You need to take a bath before I kiss you."
- Iffy {Cyn, Raphtalia}Last Thursday at 8:49 PM
- Seeming entirely unphased- did, did she just not hear him?- with his insults, she opened her lips with a loud pop and said "No deal."
- She took a moment to examine her nails- overgrown and dirty, dark lines where gods knew what was caked under the bed of the nail, extremities stained brown and black with dirt and muck- and sucked her teeth. "I'd love to kiss you, but I'm not abandonin' my friends. How unfortunate~ you're never gonna get around down here without a proper guide."
- Blue / IronsoulLast Thursday at 8:58 PM
- "Then how about we compromise." He sighed, smiling with incredible relief, thank goodness she refused - that was an immense weight off his shoulders. "I'll buy you some dinner if you show me around, and you can tell me more about yourself. How's that sound, doll?" He asked, leaning against a wall. Surely she must be hungering up a storm with all the parasites she likely has.
- Iffy {Cyn, Raphtalia}Last Thursday at 11:04 PM
- "I can pay to eat just fine...buuut, if you're payin'," she'd muse, before tapping her staff on the ground. "Alright, well, just for you cuz you're so pretty~ I'll show you around. Come along, pretty boy."
- She'd walk quickly around a corner, beckoning to him with a finger.
- "So tell me again what it is you're doing down here in the slums...what kind of city is it that you want to get to know, eh...?"
- Blue / IronsoulLast Thursday at 11:20 PM
- Oh woah, the slums got even worse. At least, that was his first thought as he followed her around the corner - how could a city that had practically infinite opportunities for wealth have slums this shit? Probably the same way other rich kingdoms had shitty slums, now that he actually thought about it for more than three seconds.
- "This city, doll. I came here not long ago, need to figure out what the people running the place are like, and one of the best ways to see where their priorities are is to see who the worst off are." He explained to the filthy grease gremlin, "You seem local, maybe you can tell me some quick and hard truths about it, eh?" He asked, glancing down at her partly to see her expression and partly to ensure she wasn't going to try and reach an arm around him or something.
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