[21:44] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin was out in the gazebo, trying to collect himself. The campus was too busy during the day with all of the students out of class for the week in the wake of the assault. It left Kevin little space to himself, so he waited until after the sun went down to try and find some peace and quiet. He was sitting up on the railing of the Gazebo, reading a book with a pair of headphones on - he finally got the melted
[21:44] <SaviorOnAStick> ones replaced. He was dressed in a typical black pullover hoodie, but he was wearing black and grey pajama pants and barefoot rather than his usual Tripp pants and sneakers.
01[21:50] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael had had similar feelings during the day. He had surprise counseling visit, which had left him ponderous, but still wanting to not be around people. He decided to take his brand new corgi pupper with him for an evening walk in the courtyard. he had the little guy on a tiny leash, and on his collar was a bowtie. He sees kevin in the gazeebo with his headphones on and walks over to him, to sit down on a near by bench for a bit. "Hey kevin" he says, with slightly more energy than he had been able to manage in previous meetings, bringing the small corgi into his lap.
[21:53] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin looked up from the book - 'The Dunwich Horror' - and took off his headphones. He closed the book and set it beside him on the railing. "Hey, Michael. Is that your new friend Claudia picked out?" There was a bit of a facial tick to Kevin that was just barely perceptible in the low light. Kevin's eyes also didn't seem to focus on any one thing in particular when he looked up in Michael's direction.
01[21:59] <Inebriated_Lobster> "Yeah, this Lucky, she got him last night. How'd you know about all that?" he asks in a friendly tone, his smile increasing a bit as he pets the sleepy lucky in his lap. He looks like this: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/39/51/66/395166785942e7f4098fb27b5dc8b3d2.jpg He notices that odd tick in kevins eyes, and his smile dampens slightly.
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[22:02] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin smiles - it's a little too wide, a little to eager - as he reaches over, giving the puppy scritches behind the ears. "Yeah, it's a good thing Claudia and I got there so early. There was another group that came in right behind us that was looking at him too." He looked up to Michael, his eyes having a hard time staying focused on him. "Her idea to get the dog... told her this was the one for you, though..."
[22:02] <SaviorOnAStick> His eyes slide off of Michael's face, back to the dog. "Claudia's a good girl... You're lucky to have her... she's really sweet and caring." Kevin shook his head, a couple of tears rolling down his cheek.
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01[22:07] <Inebriated_Lobster> There's a distant look in his eyes when he says that last part, and he grimaces slightly. "Yeah...I am. A little too lucky to be with her..." he looks at his tears, and over all demeanor and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Kevin....what's going on man?" he says, trying to sound reassuring.
[22:11] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin shook his head. "Nothing good, Michael... nothing good. Every day is a battle where I lose a little more of myself... I... I'm still getting all my research together to go face this thing down..." He slumps a little. "But I'm running out of time, man. I'm... I don't fucking know..." He sighed, changing the subject. "I ran into Claudia last night - was looking to talk with you or Alison - and she needed
[22:11] <SaviorOnAStick> someone, ya know? She... She's worn down - like us - and doesn't know how to help you... she's running herself down to the bone..." He wiped away a couple of the tears. "I... I took her out to coffee... tried to get her to talk it out - get it off her chest - but she's as fucking stubborn as you are." He chuckled, giving Michael a weak smile. "And... and then she wanted to go to the humane society and... and get a
[22:11] <SaviorOnAStick> puppy... of all things.... who does that at five in the morning?" He looked up at Michael after babbling... giggling.
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01[22:18] <Inebriated_Lobster> "You'll make it in time man. You keep going, you got me an everyone else who wants to help you." Michael looked hurt....that part about claudia cutting deep, and some tears spring to his eyes. "fuck....FUCK!" he exclaims,the puppy waking up and looking up at him with those adorable eyes. Michael breaths in and holds the tired pupper a bit closer. "You're right. She hans't been so good either lately. I just don't know what to do for her...I've been so selfish this past week, i haven't been able to do anytihng at all for her....I spend all my time in the gym....Kevin im a fucking mess...." he trails off.
[22:21] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin tilts his head at Michael, tears rolling down his face. "Tell me about it." He giggles. "Man... it's all good... she has to figure out her own outlets to. She has counseling sessions reserved; urge her to go to 'em... she needs to open up to someone and... well... you're her boyfriend - makes it harder for her. Stupid, fucked up thing that is..." He laughs. He blinks a couple times, shaking his head. "I'm...
[22:21] <SaviorOnAStick> I'm sorry... I'm having a hard time keeping it together myself. I get to go see Bernie on Tuesday though... Not sure how he is gonna help me cope with a literal Outer God in my head though..." He gave Michael a grin - looking a bit more like the normal Kevin.
01[22:30] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael shakes his head in frusteration but nods. "I'lll.... i'll do that.. I'll talk to her when i see her. I just feel like i'm such a failure..." he says quietly. "But it's ok man. I know your doing your best, and in the face of greater odds than most of usdeal with ever. I'm glad you're seeing bernie soon. I just saw him today actually. didn't know if till i got the reminder message. Almost didnt go..." he shrugged. "I think if any one could give you counsel, he could."
[22:31] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin nodded. "Yeah... I uhh... I booked the appointment for you." Kevin looked away, embarrassed. "I didn't tell you because I didn't think you'd go if I did..." He cleared his throat. "But uhh... yeah... I'm just trying to get all my shit together to face this thing down... Just trying to hold it together until then. Some days are better than others..." He wipes some of the tears away.
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01[22:38] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael raises an eyebrow, but just sits back and chuckles "I suppose i should have figured. I think you were right....i might have been mad anouther time, but after today...I'm glad you did."he says, looking kevin in the eye, still blooshot form his earlier tears. He gives a treat to the very happy lucky. "This been a better day....or not so much?" he asks with concern.
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[22:41] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin shook his head. "Not so much... With everyone out of class, I haven't had any time alone in like... four days." He frowned "Turns out, it is hard to find a private place in a school full of the supernatural with shit like flight, teleportation, or whatever..." He chuckled again. It's... it's been rough... I'm not gonna lie: I'm not alright."
01[22:44] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael nods. "Yeah i guess it is. I know it is. It's been hard for me to go out. honestly, even the sushi place pushed me to my limits. Have you....have you tried the woods? they're big enough you can avoid anyone else who's got the same idea?" then thought a moment. "You uh, want me to leave? I don't want to intrude if thats what you need."
[22:45] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin shakes his head. "Nah... you're good... like... one or two people aren't bad, especially if I know them... but like..." He frowned. "I tried the woods... just found two seniors fucking out there... They... weren't terribly happy to see me." He chuckled.
01[22:46] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael chuckled. "
01[22:46] <Inebriated_Lobster> (more to come)
01[22:49] <Inebriated_Lobster> Yeah i suppose they would be. "I mean it's their fault, commin into your woods like that, expecting privacy." he sighs. "I'd say stick to your room, but it's not to healthy to just stay inside all the time...much as i've tried."
[22:51] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin nodded. "Yeah... I figured Bernie would tell me to go out and try and get some fresh air... socialize some... So that's what I tried the first... I dunno, three days?" He sighed. "It felt like an eternity... I... I just..." He blinked back tears, looking up to Michael, forcing a smile. "I'm not gonna give up... Or at least I'm gonna try not to."
01[22:53] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael shook his head. "I don't  know about the socializing bit. but fresh air for sure." he looks up to kevins distressed state, picks up lucky gently, with lucky giving a small yip at being moved. Michael hands him to kevin. "You look like you could use a bit of luck" he says, with a forced smile of his own.
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[22:57] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin takes the puppy, not sure what to do with it at first - a bit of a mad, glossed over look crosses his face that finally cracks. He hugs the puppy, petting it, crying. After a while, Kevin manages "This dog was the right pick." He laughs between the sobs.
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01[23:02] <Inebriated_Lobster> The puppy begins to lick kevins face/ tears away, giving him that dank puppy breath. Michael smiles grimly, patting kevin on the back as he sobs. "Yeah... he really was..." he looks aways, tears rolling down his own face, "You weren't wrong about the lady who picked her...." he says with a smile through the tears.
[23:04] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin nodded. "Yeah... I... I told her you liked Corgis." He said between sobs, starting to regain some composure. "She saw him and practically melted right there." He gave Michael a smile. "That and sushi have pretty much been the only high points in my week... But... but it's been enough..." He nodded, handing the puppy back to Michael. "You... you look like you need him too."
01[23:12] <Inebriated_Lobster> Micael acceptep the puppy who licks his face as well. "yeah...I do..." he smiles at the thought of claudia first meeting the pupper. "I'm here for you anytime man...God...I gotta make things right with her." he says that last part firmly, with confidence, a bit more like the old michael would have said it.
[23:14] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin nodded. "All you can do is be yourself... Don't push it or force it, ya know? Just..." Kevin shrugs. "Be Michael, ya know? That's who she fell in love with, after all." Kevin gives him a smile. "But what do I know - I'm just some kid strung out, losing his mind." He chuckled - Kevin's good ol' gallows humor. "Take her out for a spa day or something. I think there's one in town. I'll pay for it."
01[23:22] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael smiles in return, snuggleing up with Lucky some. "Well, aparently you know a lot. I'm gonna try...god am i gonna try...I don't know if there's anything left of the me from back when...but i'm gonna find it." he thinks for a few moments. "Spa day ain't a bad idea. Her birthdays tomorow.... I think i can pay for that one though, I apreciate the offer. Still got a bit saved up from work."
[23:24] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin nodded. "Let me know if you need help with it... she... she really needs a day where she can just relax and unwind. Fuck man, get yourself a pedicure too... I hear that shit does wonders for your feet and balance." He shrugs. "At least, it can't hurt to try, and you'll be spending time with her." He grins at Michael. "And don't worry: I won't tell anyone if you do." He chuckles.
01[23:28] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael smiles and shrugs. "Ah what the hell, last thing I need is pride right?" he looks away seeming distant for a bit, idly scratching behind the puppers ear. "she was on my mind for almost the whole time we were out there you know that?" he says somewhat empty. "Not activly...I would have just broken down if i tried. But she was....she was the whole reason i went in....in the first place..." he chokes up a little bit as he fights back tears of his own.
[23:31] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin rests a hand on Michael's shoulder. "I... I can't say that I understand, but I feel for ya. I... I'm still not sure... not sure why I went, honestly... I... I don't really have anyone to fight for... or a real reason... I mean, except fuck Nazis, amiright?" He said, chuckling, trying to cheer his friend up, not wanting to mention the real reason he went - though by his tone, it was pretty obvious Kevin was
[23:31] <SaviorOnAStick> leaving part of it out.
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01[23:40] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael manages a chuckled through the tears. "Yeah...fuck em." michael looked over at his friend when his breathing returned to normal. "you had to have had some reason. We may not have known how bad it would get, but we all knew it would be bad. and you fought just as hard as the rest of us, and sacrificed as much and more."
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[23:42] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin shook his head. "I..." he swallowed. "I did have a reason... it was a shitty one.... one I'm really regretting, honestly." He looked up at Michael and sighed. "You wanna hear it? Or remain blissfully unaware? I... I won't fault you for either, but if I tell you, you have to promise to keep it to yourself."
01[23:44] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael looked concerned but nodded. "You have my word, it stays between us. Not like i have any right to judge you over shit man." he says sincerely.
[23:47] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin nodded, taking a deep breath before he continued. "I... I went to die... I knew that... that odds were good I wouldn't make it through to the end." He frowned. "I'd... I'd tried doing it myself before... I used to have scars from it, but those went away after all of my flesh melted off..." Kevin had tears in his eyes, but he maintained a surprisingly even tone. "It... Yog Sothoth... wouldn't let me back
[23:47] <SaviorOnAStick> then... when I tried the first time, it strung me up with shadowy tendrils until it knew I would give up... this time... Well, you saw what happened this time."
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01[23:59] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael grimaced and just looked so sad. He put his hand on his shoulder and just stayed silent with that knowledge for a while. "I don't understand what it's like to have that thing in your head...but i know what it's like to want to die. either way,....maybe it's selfish of me to say it....but i'm glad you didn't stay down for good."
Session Time: Fri Jul 28 00:00:00 2017
[00:02] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin nodded. "I... I'm still trying to hash out my feelings on the matter. But... but one way or another, looks like I'm here more-or-less for good." He frowned at the tears, wiping them away. "Goddamn, I need to stop fucking leaking everywhere... The dehydration is gonna kill me next." He chuckled - maybe a little too soon for the grim humor on that one. He cleared his throat. "Uhh... thanks, though. I... I
[00:02] <SaviorOnAStick> hadn't told anyone that yet... the part about why I went that is. The first suicide attempt is old news at this point."
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01[00:10] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael smiled grimly at the jape but just nodded as he listened. "it's a hard thing to talk about. You ever gotta get shit like that off your chest, I'm here man. God knows we've seen enough shit for it." he smiled then. "You know, if you ever need to get out and be alone somewhere other than your room, you're welcome in the apartment any time. Alison dont come out much these days, and me and claudia tend to be pretty busy. or we try to be these days...if you need or want it, it's an option."
[00:13] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin nodded. "Thanks... I'll keep that in mind." He was quiet for a while, thinking. He smiled at the Corgi in Michael's lap. "Maybe tomorrow will be better... I mean... I have to believe it will be..." He nodded, a look of determination on his face. "I've come too far to give up now... besides, who else is going to be the godfather of your Corgi?" He laughed.
01[00:18] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael nodded, smileing now that he saw some determination on his face. "Godfather eh? I guess I could do worse." he says fascitiously with a smile on his face. He looks down at lucky and pets him. "what do you think boy? You want kevin to be the Godfather, huh?" he says in a cooing voice. The happy corgi gives a small yip and wags its tail. "Well, looks like you're in."
[00:21] <SaviorOnAStick> "Huh, easier than I thought it would be." He reaches out, scratching the Corgi behind the ear and under the chin. "I'm uhh... probably looking at next week... uhh... trying to do the thing... with the outer god..." He shrugs. "Probably sometime after my appointment with Bernie... maybe the next day, I don't know; I haven't quite decided yet... But I feel like I'm getting close to knowing all I can before getting
[00:21] <SaviorOnAStick> some first-hand knowledge." He smiled at Michael, but there was worry written on his face. "I... uhhh... I guess we'll see where that goes... I mean, it can't get worse, right?"
01[00:24] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael shook his head with concern. "Now what the fuck you gotta go saying shit like that for?" he says with a bit of a nervous chuckle. "That's just asking for trouble. But you're right. You'll get what you need, alright?"
[00:27] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin nodded. "Yeah... sorry... I've... I've had a bit of a morbid streak lately. It... It probably can't be healthy." He chuckled. "But I figure all the other shit I'm going through is probably the least of my worries. I can't think of much that really compares to an Outer God eroding your sanity." He chuckled. "Everything in due time, I suppose..."
01[00:34] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael chuckles. "Yeah you got a point there. One thing at a time, one step forward at a time. Well, i'm gonna bring this guy back and get some food in him...maybe try to catch claudia before she heads to sleep. Keep me in the loop about all of that yeah?" he says, getting up.
[00:36] <SaviorOnAStick> Kevin nods. "Yeah, I'll... I'll let you know... as long as I have some warning myself." To the Corgi: "Goodnight Lucky. Go snuggle with your humans and chase imaginary rabbits in your dreams, okay?" He smiles at the dog and at Michael. "Spa trip... do it... I'm sure it'll be good for you both."
01[00:37] <Inebriated_Lobster> Michael gives a firm now. "I think you're right about that one." he waves and walks off into the night, Lucky trotting along.
01[00:37] <Inebriated_Lobster> -scene Pupper Saves The Day-