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Mea Culpa

jaredrutledge Sep 19th, 2015 4,957 Never
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  1. When I was in ninth grade, I looked at pornography on my Christian school lab computers. I got suspended for seven days, and walking into chapel the next Wednesday was hellaciously shaming. It felt white hot. To know that everyone in that gymnasium was disappointed and disgusted in me was almost unbearable. But I'd brought it on myself, and there was nothing for it. That's the way I feel now.
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  3. I know I've said and posted a lot of things that are offensive. Most of my life I've struggled with insecurities around dating. I felt like, in the past couple years, that I'd finally gotten a handle on this and experienced more success. So I made a twitter, blog, and got Jacob to podcast with me. We didn't always say nice things, and sometimes we were downright mean. Sometimes I just vented about frustrating experiences in an immature, hateful, and foolish way. It was in particular a breach of trust to post intimate details about lovers. I was naive enough to think it'd stay anonymous, and I was wrong.
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  5. So here we are. I grew up in West Asheville and have disappointed and brought shame to the community that raised me, and there's not really anything I can do to make it right. There are no excuses to be made. The way I've phrased and framed my private conduct in a sad and tawdry public way is humiliating. There's nothing to do but ask your forgiveness for any harm I've caused. I'm sorry folks.
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  7. Jacob and I are both open to sitting down and talking to anyone who might have concerns to address one-on-one.
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