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LiberTORian Issue #12 [DRAFT]

RIPPER_22 Dec 12th, 2015 (edited) 454 Never
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  1.        ______         ______   ______                        
  2.       /  __  \       /  __  \ /  __  \       http://xsold3pvbxt4xblv.onion                  
  3.       | /  \ |       | (__) | | /  \ |        ____________   ____________
  4.       | |  | |       \______/ | |  | |       /  ________  \ /  ________  \
  5.       | |  | |        ______  | |  | \_____  | /   __   \ | | |   _____) |
  6.       | |  | |       /  __  \ | |  \_____  \ | |  (__)  | | | |  /  _____/__
  7.       | |  | |       | /  \ | | |   __   \ | | |   _____/ | | |  | /  / ___ \
  8.       | |  | \_____  | |  | | | |  /  \  | | | |  /  _____/ | |  | |  \_____/
  9.       | |  \_____  \ | |  | | | |  \__/  | | | |  \_____  \ | |  | |
  10.       | \________) | | \__/ | | \________/ | | \________) | | \__/ |
  11.       \____________/ \______/ \____________/ \____________/ \______/
  12.    ____________     \\         __________  ______  
  13.   /  ________  \     \\\      /  ______  \/  __  \    M  A  G  A  Z  I  N  E
  14.   | /        \ | ____)| |____ | /   ___) || (__) | ____________  ____________
  15.   | \__    __/ |/  ______\   \| |  /  ___/\______//  ________  \/  ________  \
  16.   \__  \  /  __/| /   __ | \ || |  | /     ______ | (_____   \ || /   __   \ |    
  17.      \ |  | /   | |  /  \| | || |  | |    /  __  \\_____  \  | || |  /  \  | |
  18.      | |  | |   | |  |  || | || |  | |    | /  \ |/  _____/  | || |  |  |  | |
  19.      | |  | |   | |  |  || | || |  | |    | |  | || /   __   | || |  |  |  | |
  20.      | |  | |   | |  \__/| | || |  | |    | |  | || |  (__)  | || |  |  |  | |
  21.      | \__/ |   | \______| / || \__/ |    | \__/ || \________/ || \__/  \__/ |
  22.      \______/   \________/___/\______/    \______/\____________/\_____/\_____/
  23.  
  24.      Volume 1        ~oo~        Issue 12        ~oo~        Christmas 2015
  25.                                    ..
  26. G I A N T                        ..   ...              
  27. 4 0 -  p a g e               .  ''. .','                
  28. S p e c t a c u l a r       ...''..,,.                  
  29. ! ! ! ! ! !               .'',,',,'.                  MERRY        
  30.                          .,,,,,,'.                 CHRISTMAS      
  31.                         ',,,,,.                  FROM  
  32.                     .   .,,,,'.                 LIBERtorIAN    
  33.                     xx'.',,,.                   MAGAZINE !!!  
  34.                      o...';c:,                          
  35.                      lo  ..,0X.                   AN ONION
  36.                      ox  .,;kW,                     FOR
  37.                     ;0,  .:d;0K'                      YOUR
  38.                 .:d0x.  ...ol,dKkc.                    STOCKING
  39.               ,dKk:.   '... ld,,cd00l'                  
  40.             'd0kc.     ,' ..  ,d;;;;:x00o.              
  41.         .lK0c.      .,.  .,.  ,x;;;;;;:xK0c            
  42.        :NO,      .;;'    . ;,  lx,;;;;;;;oXK'          
  43.       d0,     .,,'      ..  '; .Ol;;;;;;;;:kK,             ALSO:
  44.      kN'    .c;.       '.,'  ,, lO;;;;;;;;;;kN;          
  45.     oW:    ,;        .'. .c.  :.,Xc;;;;;;;;;:XX.            HARD COPY
  46.    .XO    ::      .'..   . :' 'c.Xd;;;;;;;;;;xMo             CHRISTMAS EDITION
  47.    ,Mo   ::     ,,.      .  :' l'Xk;;;;;;;;;;lWk        
  48.    ,Mo  .o    .l.       .,. .l l:XO;;;;;;;;;;lWO             THE TRUE STORY
  49.    .Nx   l.  .l.      ',..:  :,ooWO;;;;;;;;;;dMx             OF KWANZAA
  50.     xN;  'l  ;c      ,,  .l, ;lddMx;;;;;;;;;;KW,        
  51.     .0X.  ;c 'o      ,   .:l :ddkWl;;;;;;;;;dWl             LIBERtorIAN
  52.      .O0.  ,; dc     ;   .:d oxoNK;;;;;;;;;oNc             GIFT GUIDE
  53.        oXo. ':'x:    :   .lc.dcxWo;;;;;;;lOX:          
  54.         'kXd..c:oo.  'o  .k,lOkWx;;;;;;lKXd.             CHRISTMAS CHEER
  55.           .ckxloccl;'.,l'cxdKNXo;;;:ok0k:.            
  56.              .:dkKKOO0xx0XXWMKdoxO0Oo;.               AND MORE!  
  57.                  'cdOKNWMMMMWXKko;.                    
  58.  
  59.  
  60.  
  61. -Page 2-
  62.  
  63.      ___________________________            __________________________________
  64.     /                          /|         ,'                                  ',
  65.    /    TABLE OF CONTENTS     /||         |    ~~ L i B e R t O r I a N ~~     |
  66.   /__________________________/||/         {  -- Volume 1   ---   Issue 12 --   }
  67.   |||                        |||          {          Christmas, 2015           }
  68.   ||/ It's a table!  Get it? ||/          {                                    }
  69.                                           { A Publication of Synonymous 1.     }
  70. ACQUIRING RELAY..........3 YET AGAIN      { Published December, 2015.          }
  71.                                           {                                    }
  72. DEP WEB SITE OF THE DAY............4      {                 --                 }
  73. Question Everything                       {                                    }
  74.                                           { LiberTORian is published on an     }
  75. BLURB..............................4      { irregular basis.                   }
  76.                                           {                                    }
  77. SPECIAL FEATURE....................5      { N(c), 2015.  Readers are welcome,  }
  78. THE FIRST ANNUAL TOTALLY AWESOME          { actually encouraged, to copy and   }
  79. LIBERTORIAN GIFT GIVING AND GETTING       { distribute this text by any means  }
  80. GUIDE                                     { possible, preferably by photocopy- }
  81.                                           { ing.                               }
  82. LiberTORian's Excellent Christmas.19      {                                    }
  83. Movie Night Viewing Schedule              {                                    }
  84.                                           { LIBERTORIAN HAS A DEEP WEB SITE:   }
  85. FEATURE...........................22      { http://xsold3pvbxt4xblv.onion      }
  86. The True History of Kwanzaa               {                                    }
  87.                                           { Thanks to an Onionland user.       }
  88. ARTICLE: The Lego Movie...........26      { The views expressed are not nece-  }
  89. A Family-Friendly Movie with a            { ssarily those of the webmaster.    }
  90. Libertarian Message                       { That's fine with us libertarians.  }
  91.                                           {                                    }
  92. ARTICLE...........................29      {                                    }
  93. Hannukah Traditions                       { CORRESPONDENCE:                    }
  94.                                           { synonymous1@ruggedinbox.com    or  }
  95. ARTICLE...........................32      { libertorian@sigaint.org            }
  96. Awesome Christmas Music, Parts 1 & 2      {                                    }
  97.                                           { Send submissions & letters to      }
  98. CLASSIC .TXT FILE OF THE DAY......35      { LiberTORian at the above address   }
  99. nitexmas.txt                              {                                    }
  100. px-xmas.txt                               {                                    }
  101.                                           { DONATE TO LIBERTORIAN:             }
  102. BLURB.............................38      { 12yfpaKCHL7XCdWGiM8x9nuaBw1TbW1q2s }
  103.                                           {               Even a millibitcoin! }
  104. MYTHS THAT LIBERALS BELIEVE #12...38      {                         (.001 BTC) }
  105. Muslims in NJ didn't cheer on 9/11        {                                    }
  106.                                           {                                    }
  107. FEATURE: HARD COPY................39      {          DON'T HURT PEOPLE         }
  108. The War on Christmas                      {     AND DON'T TAKE THEIR STUFF.    }
  109. The Christmas Sweater                      '-________________________________-'
  110. The Christmas Sweater (illustrated)
  111. The Immortal Nicholas                   D.N.S. Lookup Failed..................40
  112.  
  113. Ascii art by Synonymous Xi:
  114.                                                         HO, HO, HO!   A   OOO
  115.   \/`   -\/`    \/`   -\/`    \/`   -\/`    \/`   -\/`    \/`        -O  OOOOO
  116. o<')__, <')__, <')__, <')__, <')__, <')__, <')__, <')__, <')__,~~~~OO/_\,~~~.~
  117.   (,_ )  (,_ )  (,_ )  (,_ )  (,_ )  (,_ )  (,_ )  (,_ )  (,_ )     )_______(
  118.   // \\  // \\  // \\  // \\  // \\  // \\  // \\  // \\  // \\   (__||___||__)
  119. . .   . .   .. .     . . .. .. .  ... .     ...   .  .  . .     ..    . . ..  .
  120.  
  121.  
  122.  
  123.  
  124. -Page 3-
  125.  
  126. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  127.                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  128.    A C Q U I R I N G    R E L A Y              }}   - by Synonymous 1 -   {{
  129.                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oo~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  130. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&                         /\
  131.  
  132.  
  133. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!                     When LiberTORian returns with Issue
  134.                                             13, there will be a lot to cover, as
  135. Who doesn't absolutely love Christ-         everything is moving so quickly.  It
  136. mas, besides the ACLU?  It's that           is the kind of thing that the Fabian
  137. time of year when everything becomes        Society, inspiration for George Or-
  138. totally awesome!  Everyone has their        well's *1984* aspired to: heat the
  139. own personal traditions associated          Earth up and re-mold it into the
  140. with it, and the Baby Jesus is born,        shape they desire.  For your Christ-
  141. and all the gifts and charitibility,        mas homework, I want you to do some
  142. and the Christmas cheer and egg nog         research and discover on your own
  143. and Santa Claus and Charlie Brown TV        why Orwell chose the year 1984 for
  144. specials and a list that never ends         his novel.  First to know can email
  145. of great tidings.                           me.
  146.  
  147. 2015 hasn't been such a great year,         Back on topic: ISIS attacked Paris,
  148. so we owe it to ourselves to stop a         A confrontation at a Colorado Chase
  149. moment, enjoy the goodness of life,         Bank ended at a Planned Parenthood,
  150. and enjoy the greatest gift of all:         and colleges are becoming victims of
  151. God's love for us such that we are          their own PC nonsense.  To quote
  152. animated with life itself.  What a          Billy Joel, "We didn't start the
  153. blessing to share in the perception         fire."  Maybe not, but there's been
  154. of this universe!  So on with the           a lot of fanning the flames!
  155. festivities!
  156.                                             You can't have Christmas without the
  157. It's been a long wait, but Liber-           Grinch.  The current occupant of the
  158. TORian 12 will explore the true             White House pulled another first in
  159. history of the evil twin of Christ-         American history: he ordered the
  160. mas, the anti-Christmas: Kwanzaa.           Pentagon to ban all Christmas cards
  161. I don't care if you prefer to miss          to our soldiers overseas.  And the
  162. out on Christmas and instead cele-          reason: because it might offend Mus-
  163. brate this racist holiday.  It's            lims.  My answer: WHO CARES IF THEY
  164. your loss.  But I do wish to rain           GET OFFENDED?  That's their problem!
  165. on your parade with the truth be-           Because of your catering to Muslims,
  166. hind Kwanzaa.  It's actually on my          which you say you're not, you always
  167. Christmas list.  No, really!                oppress Christians, which you claim
  168.                                             you are!  I don't know what you are,
  169. Imagine that this issue is a sleigh         other than a liar!  Those cards are
  170. as we're filling it with GIFT ideas         often the one bit of Christmas cheer
  171. for you who wait until the last             those who already sacrifice to de-
  172. minute to shop.  I'd rather get it          fend our freedom receive.  Now you
  173. all done early and not rush around          take that away from them.  Icing on
  174. missing the Christmas anticipation.         the cake after all you've done to
  175. But I'm a libertarian, so you do it         them.  You suck!
  176. the way you want.  Our staff picked
  177. what we consider the coolest stuff.         It's not even free speech or freedom
  178.                                             of religion.  It's just basic "keep
  179. So, what do you want for Christmas?         the grubby government off of us and
  180. Let us know!  Send emails to:               let us live.  And when it comes to
  181.                                             government, Obama's is the grubbiest
  182.   synonymous1@ruggedinbox.com               ever!  Merry Christmas!        ((L))
  183.  
  184.  
  185.  
  186. -Page 4-
  187.  
  188.      _####__                                
  189.      \   oo/                  ,^,            
  190. u^u^u^u^u^u^u^u^u^u^u^u^u^u^u( ,\^u^        http://3uxit3zzi4pu3iag.onion/
  191. * DEEP WEB SITE OF THE DAY *  )_/                
  192.                                            
  193. }}}}    QUESTION  EVERYTHING    {{{{        *Question Everything* collects reve-
  194.                                             nue and even gives back to the com-
  195. *Question Everything* reminds me of         munity.  Also, a person may tag
  196. a quote from Thomas Jefferson, the          their question with keywords so if
  197. third U.S. President.  He once said,        you had a similar question but don't
  198. "Question with boldness even the            know if it was asked already, you
  199. existence of [a] God; because, if           can conduct a tag search and find a
  200. there be one, he must more approve          complete list of questions in that
  201. of the homage of reason, than that          category.
  202. of blind-folded fear."
  203.                                             *Question Everything* is a friendly
  204. QUESTION EVERYTHING is like Yahoo!          hidden site in onionland, and it's
  205. Answers for the deep web, except            a place where newcomers to the deep
  206. without the yahoos.  The deep web           web can feel welcome and not intimi-
  207. community are a bunch of people who         dated.  Since there are no stupid
  208. try to support each other, even if          questions, you won't be shamed if
  209. we really don't know each others'           you ask something that seems obvious
  210. identities.                                 to everyone else.  They'll help you
  211.                                             get up to speed without criticism.
  212. You are able to ask a question about        Isn't it nice to have such a place?
  213. ANYTHING.  *Question Everything* is        
  214. a free-speech zone, as if we need           The site is similar in layout like
  215. "zones" for free speech.  The only          *Hidden Answers*, but the reduced
  216. thing not welcome is posting p0rn0-         traffic means that you're not a lost
  217. graphic links involving minors.  Any        voice in the crowd.  Sometimes it's
  218. other topic is open for discussion.         nicer to be part of a tight-knit
  219.                                             community rather than a sea of users
  220. Visitors are able to vote on their          you must wade through.  Hopefully,
  221. opinion on the best questions and           LiberTORian readers will increase
  222. answers, to guide others who may            the traffic just enough without
  223. have the same questions.  A point           congesting it.
  224. system is awarded for input, and by
  225. performing certain tasks to benefit         So drop on in to *Question Every-
  226. the group, you earn badges.                 thing, and bring your questions!
  227.  
  228. ................................................................................
  229.  
  230. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&        This issue will probably be there,
  231.                                             but that can't happen until this is
  232.   BONUS: CLEARNET SITE OF THE DAY!          published, and when that happens, I
  233.                                             can't let it be known here because
  234. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&        it's already published.  
  235.  
  236. http://pastebin.com/user/ripper_22          Thank you for sharing LiberTORian.
  237.                                             If you can share it too Dear Reader,
  238. What's so great about this page?  It        please do so.  And if you share, or
  239. is someone's personal Pastebin page,        find someone who did, contact Liber-
  240. but he or she acquired copies of            TORian and we'll post the link here
  241. LiberTORian magazine and posted a           in these pages.  The email address
  242. mirror of all the .txt editions on          is
  243. the page, among other things.  The
  244. best site on clearnet!                      synonymous1@ruggedinbox.com    ((L))
  245.  
  246.  
  247.  
  248. -Page 5-
  249.  
  250. O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O
  251. S           _      _  _                  _______              _                S
  252. S     THE  ( )    (_)( )                (__   __)            (_)               S
  253. S   FIRST  ( )     _ ( )___  _____  ____   ( )   _____  ____  _  _____  _____  S
  254. S  ANNUAL  ( )    ( )(  _  )(  _  )(  __)  ( )  (  _  )(  __)( )(___  )(  _  ) S
  255. S TOTALLY  ( )___ ( )( (_) )(  ___)( )     ( )  ( (_) )( )   ( )(  _  )( ) ( ) S
  256. S AWESOME  (_____)(_)(_____)(_____)(_)     (_)  (_____)(_)   (_)(_____)(_) (_) S
  257. S                                                                              S
  258. S                             CHRISTMAS GIFT GIVING ANG GETTING GUIDE !!!!!!!! S
  259. O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O
  260.                                        /\
  261.    *     E N T E R T A I N M E N T :        The Notebook
  262.   / \                    M O V I E S  
  263.   o o\                                      One of the greatest romantic movies
  264.  //.\\   There's an almost unlimited        of all-time!
  265.  //|\\   selection of Blu-Ray & DVDs
  266. ////\O\  you can give to you loved
  267. o | |o   one.  There's something            Captain America: The Winter Soldier
  268.   /_\    about a real tangible med-         (2014)
  269.          ium that's missing from a
  270. subscription to NetFlix or Amazon           This movie must be the topic of a
  271. Prime.  When you hold the DVD case          future issue of LiberTORian.  Cap-
  272. in your hands, you know you actually        tain America 2 addresses issues of
  273. *own* the media inscribed on it.  If        4th Amendment rights, and allegoric-
  274. there's a problem with the internet,        ally examines real-life current iss-
  275. you can still watch it.  When you           ues such as NSA spying, sacrificing
  276. insert a DVD into your player, your         of liberty for security, and govern-
  277. ISP or streaming service is not tak-        ment denying freedom and the right
  278. ing notes.  You don't have to worry         to life in the name of utopian dream
  279. about multiple streaming subscrip-          gone awry.  It champions American  
  280. tions because the one you use does          values of freedom and equal justice
  281. not carry your favorite TV series.          without being jingoistic.  Buy it as
  282.                                             a gift, open it up, enjoy it your-
  283. Here's a list of our favorite DVD           self first, then re-wrap it and give
  284. ideas.  Feel free to be inspired or         it to a loved one.
  285. disregard any of them:
  286.                                             MORE MOVIES THAT MAKE GREAT GIFTS
  287.                
  288. MOVIES:                                     - The Wedding Singer
  289.                                             - Men In Black
  290. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)                - Casablanca
  291.                                             - The Wizard of Oz
  292. A thought-provoking trip into man-          - The Rocky Horror Picture Show
  293. kind's future.  Many movie goers              (but it doesn't beat the movie
  294. actually took LSD to view the final           theater experience)
  295. scene.  This counterculture appeal          - The Naked Gun Trilogy
  296. led to the slogan, "Take the Ulti-          - Must Love Dogs
  297. mate Trip" to be used on MGM's              - The Blind Side
  298. later movie posters.                        - The Shawshank Redemption
  299.                                             - Pursuit of Happyness
  300.                                             - Forrest Gump
  301. Mad Max (2015)                              - Blade Runner
  302.                                             - Wreck-It Ralph
  303. A worthy remake of the Mel Gibson           - Godzilla (2014)
  304. classic.  No better way to cele-            - Big / 13 Going On 30
  305. brate Jesus' birth than with post-          - Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
  306. apocalyptic warfare.                        - The Goonies
  307.  
  308.  
  309.  
  310. -Page 6-
  311.  
  312.    *      E N T E R T A I N M E N T :          o Mr. Howell: Greed
  313.   / \             T E L E V I S I O N          o Mrs. Howell: Anger
  314.   o o\                                         o Ginger: Lust
  315.  //.\\   You're watching these great           o Professor: Pride
  316.  //|\\   movies on the small screen,           o Mary Ann: Jealousy
  317. ////\O\  so now, let's watch some-
  318. o | |o   thing actually made for it.         If you have no idea who any of the
  319.   /_\    There are so many great TV          above people are, put this DVD set
  320.          series.  And so many terri-         on your Christmas list!
  321. ble ones, too.  We'll name a bunch of
  322. good ones.                                   6) The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
  323.  
  324.                                              Such a funny show.  i could watch
  325. TELEVISION SIT COMS:                         Jazzy get kicked out of the house
  326.                                              over and over again!  Such a talent
  327. 1) Seinfeld                                  Will Smith is in his first foray
  328.                                              from music to acting, other than in
  329. In retrospect, the show's not as             his music videos, of course.
  330. funny as it was back then, because
  331. there's been so much humor built on          7) M*A*S*H
  332. it that the novelty's over.  But for
  333. those who grew up with it, it's just         One of our Dear Readers suggested
  334. as memorable, as we've come to i-            this and #8 to us, and I'm ashamed
  335. dentify with the characters and              to overlook these.  M*A*S*H seems
  336. situations we've come to love.  Nine         like a sitcom, but it's touching,
  337. seasons are available.                       dramatic, horrifying and heartwarm-
  338.                                              ing as much as it's funny.  M*A*S*H
  339. 2) The Honeymooners                          puts a face on soldiers and lets
  340.                                              the viewers of this popular show
  341. Still Arguably the best situation            understand the reality and cost of
  342. comedy of all time.  The only possi-         war.
  343. ble exception is:
  344.                                              8) All In The Family
  345. 3) I Love Lucy
  346.                                              This show had a liberal, sometimes
  347. The humor in these two shows is              statist slant, but it always taught
  348. timeless.                                    lessons without telling us *how* to
  349.                                              think.  It encouraged discussion of
  350. 4) Leave It To Beaver                        relevant topics, and helped us to
  351.                                              laugh at the ridiculousness of
  352. A stark contrast from today's social         stereotyping.  Like M*A*S*H, this
  353. conventions, but the lessons learned         popular series was hysterically
  354. seem to apply to all generations.  I         funny and dramatically serious all
  355. love the episode where Beaver gets           at once, a hard line to balance.
  356. his head stuck in the fence.
  357.                                              OTHER COMEDIES readers suggest:
  358. 5) Gilligan's Island
  359.                                                o The King of Queens
  360. Nonsensical fun!  The cast knew how            o My Favorite Martian
  361. absurd their series was when they              o The Odd Couple (2014)
  362. read Sherwood Schwartz's scripts.              o The Goldbergs (2012)
  363. Actually, as an allegory, each of              o Night Court
  364. the seven castaways represents one             o Cheers
  365. of each of the seven deadly sins:              o Bob Newhart Show
  366.                                                o The Cosby Show
  367.   o Gilligan: Sloth                            o The Simpsons
  368.   o Skipper: Greed                             o Chuck
  369.  
  370.  
  371.  
  372.  
  373. -Page 7-
  374.  
  375.    *      E N T E R T A I N M E N T :        o Nintendo NES: NEStopia
  376.   / \         R E T R O   G A M I N G        o Sega Genesis, Game Gear, Master
  377.   o o\                                         System, Sega CD: Fusion
  378.  //.\\   Who needs all the bells and         o Arcade: MAME
  379.  //|\\   whistles?  Actually, retro          o Super Nintendo: SNES9X
  380. ////\O\  video games HAVE those, but         o TurboGraf-X 16:
  381. o | |o   they are like the Tor of the      
  382.   /_\    video game world: just str8         Once you have your desired emulator
  383.          up simplistic fun!  Who did         program, you can now search for ROM
  384. not like blasting Space Invaders,            files for your favorite games.  To
  385. being a *Defender* against invading          give a gift to a fan of the classic
  386. landers turning our human into mu-           games, fill a CD with an emulator
  387. tants, blow apart a Centipede or eat         and all kinds of ROMs and surprise
  388. monsters with your Pac-Man?  There           her on Christmas or Hannukah!
  389. are several ways to play classic
  390. video games:                                 3) Retro Games of Retro Games.  A
  391.                                              few such titles are on consoles.
  392. 1) Plug & Play systems.  Pharmacies,         Playstation 1 has a title called
  393. department stores and electronics            ATARI 80 CLASSICS.  The program is
  394. boutiques carry retro video game             an Atari emulator and 80 ROMs.  It
  395. console emulators pre-loaded with            is also available for Windows PC.
  396. tons of classic titles.  Some that           You can play these on the platform
  397. we recommend are:                            you prefer.  In fact, if you are a
  398.                                              Windows user, there is a PlaySta-
  399. o Atari Flashback 6                          tion emulator called ePSXe.  If you
  400. o Sega Genesis 2                             acquire the Playstation disc, you
  401. o ColectoVision                              can play it on a PC with Windows.
  402. o Intellivision                              not only that, what is more amazing
  403. o Game Gear hand-held                        is since each game is included on
  404.                                              the CD as an exact copy of an orig-
  405. The Game Gear title is notable be-           inal cartridge, those files can be
  406. cause it has an SD slot.  A person           copied and played on the Stella 3
  407. can actually download Sega Genesis           emulator!
  408. ROMS from the internet, transfer the
  409. ROMs to SD card media, and play the          There is a nice Activision collec-
  410. games directly.  Theoretically, you          tion on Game Boy Advance.  And if
  411. can have hundreds of games on a card         all those systems are just too new
  412. and play all the titles you enjoyed          fangled for you, thre's one other
  413. as a tot.                                    option:
  414.  
  415. 2)Emulators.  The aforementioned ROM         4) Buy a classic system!
  416. files are exact copies of classic
  417. video game cartridges.  To play the          eBay and Amazon are good starting
  418. classic games, you need two com-             points, but there are sites like
  419. ponents: the ROM and an emulator.  A         http://tradengames.com that sell
  420. ROM is the game, the emulator is a           retro systems and games.  Social
  421. program that behaves like a system,          media has game commerce threads
  422. and can interpret the ROM.                   with some really rare finds.  Why
  423.                                              not re-introduce that hardcore game
  424. You can find emulators throughout            player with an original NES or an
  425. the clearnet.  Here are the names of         Atari 7800?  Even if you can't get
  426. some systems and the emulator that           the manuals, http://digitpress.org
  427. best mimicks each:                           and http://atariage.com are havens
  428.                                              for resources and supplements.  If
  429. o Atari: Stella 3                            you're in the market for some of
  430. o Intellivision: Bliss                       these classic games, below is a
  431. o ColecoVision Blue MSX                      list to reignite your memory:
  432.  
  433.  
  434.  
  435. -Page 8-
  436.  
  437. Atari 2600                                   Nintendo NES
  438.  
  439. o Adventure                                  o 1942
  440. o Atlantis (Imagic)                          o Anticipation (fun family game)
  441. o Barnstorming (Activision)                  o BattleToads
  442. o Berzerk                                    o Bionic Commando (I was shocked at
  443. o Centipede                                    the final boss!)
  444. o Cosmic Ark (Imagic)                        o Bomb Jack
  445. o Crazy Climber (hard to find)               o CastleVania 1 & 3
  446. o Demon Attack (Imagic)                      o Commando
  447. o Empire Strikes Back (Parker Bros)          o Contra 1 & 2 and Super Contra
  448. o Enduro (Activision)                        o Double Dragon 1 & 2
  449. o E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial                o Double Dribble
  450.   (actually fun if you have manual)          o Dragon Warrior (I never won it)
  451. o Frogger (Parker Bros)                      o Duck Hunt (usually packaged with
  452. o G.I. Joe *                                   Super Mario Bros 1) *
  453. o Haunted House                              o Elevator Action
  454. o Jr. Pac-Man                                o Excite Bike
  455. o KaBoom! (Activision) *                     o Faxanadu (but I may be the only
  456. o Krull                                        one who knows the game)
  457. o Mario Bros.                                o Fester's Quest
  458. o Midnight Magic                             o Gauntlet
  459. o Moon Patrol                                o Goonies 2 (Goonies 1 can be
  460. o Ms Pac-Man                                   played on an emulator; don't know
  461. o Night Driver *                               its origin)
  462. o Phoenix                                    o Gradius
  463. o Pitfall (Activision)                       o Gremlins 2: The New Batch
  464. o Pitfall II: Lost Caverns                   o Gyruss
  465.   (Activision)                               o Hogan's Alley *
  466. o Raiders of the Lost Ark                    o Ice Hockey
  467. o Snoopy & The Red Baron (really             o Ikari Warriors
  468.   hard to find)                              o Jaws
  469. o Solaris                                    o Kid Icarus
  470. o Space Invaders                             o Kid Niki: Radical Ninja
  471. o Super Breakout *                           o Kung Fu Master
  472. o Turmoil (20th Century Fox)                 o Legend of Zelda
  473. o Vanguard                                   o Metroid
  474. o Venture (Coleco)                           o Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (I love
  475. o Video Pinball                                Bald Bull)
  476. o Warlords * (great for 3 or 4               o Ninja Gaiden
  477.   players)                                   o RC Pro Am
  478. o Yar's Revenge                              o Romance of the Three Kingdoms (it
  479.                                                wasn't an average Nintendo game
  480. * Paddle Controller Required                   but I got highly addicted)  
  481.                                              o Skate or Die
  482. Atari 7800 (plays 2600 games too)            o Spy vs Spy
  483.                                              o Super Mario Brothers 1-3
  484. o Asteroids                                  o T&C Surf Design (another I was
  485. o Crossbow (must play!)                        hooked on)
  486. o Desert Falcon                              o Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
  487. o Dig Dug                                    o Tetris (there were 2 Tetrises!
  488. o Ninja Golf (!)                               Tengen's was unauthorized.)
  489. o Pole Position II                           o Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
  490. o Robotron                                   o Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link
  491. o Summer Games (Epyx)
  492. o Xenophobe                                  * Light Gun Controller Required
  493. o Xevious
  494.  
  495.  
  496.  
  497. -Page 9-
  498.  
  499.    *                        T O Y S :        HELLO KITTY LIQUID MOTION GLOW    
  500.   / \       F O R   T H E   G I R L S        HELLO KITTY GLITTER GLOW
  501.   o o\                                       Sanrio
  502.  //.\\   These gifts are perfect for
  503.  //|\\   under a girl's Christmas            For the hippie who never grew up,
  504. ////\O\  tree or Hannukah bush.  Just        these are official Hello Kitty lava
  505. o | |o   watch the look of joy when          lamps.  The Glitter Glow lamp is a
  506.   /_\    they unwrap these goodies!          gold glitter lava lamp.
  507.  
  508. SHOPKINS                                     HELLO KITTY RESCUE SET
  509. By                                           Sanrio
  510.  
  511. Every girl in the universe has it on         This deluxe set includes five Hello
  512. their list.  I don't get them but            Kitty figures, an emergency heli-
  513. they are HOT!  You can find them in          coptor, an emergency Ambulance, and
  514. 2-pack baskets, 5-pack cards and 12-         many accessories.  Hello Kitty to
  515. pack cards.  There are 3 seasons of          the rescue!
  516. Shopkins so far and no doubt more
  517. are coming!  If you want to surprise         LEGO FRIENDS HEARTLAKE AIRPORT
  518. your special girl, go on eBay and            Lego Group
  519. get season 1 or 2 figures!  Or pay
  520. with bitcoin on Silk Road 3!                 Lego Friends' Heartlake City is a
  521.                                              pastel counterpart to Lego City.
  522. DISNEY LITTLE MERMAID                        The Heartlake Airport includes the
  523. MERMAID SISTES GIFT SET                      airport, and giant white and laven-
  524. By Mattel                                    der commerical jet.  Set includes
  525.                                              three mini-doll figures: Stephanie,
  526. Young girls love these Polly Pocket          Sandra, and David.
  527. sized Disney Princess dolls.  For
  528. the first time, *ALL* of Ariel's             LITTLEST PET SHOP PET FEST
  529. sisters are available in one gift            HASBRO
  530. set!  Includes Ariel, Andrina,
  531. Aquata, Atina, Alana, Adella, and            Girls cherish these super-cute tiny
  532. Arista.  Aerial would have extra             bobble-headed animals.  The Pet
  533. sisters, but they ran out of names           Fest deluxe set includes 16 litt-
  534. that begin and end in A.  All 7              lest pets for her to love and care
  535. features shell bikinis that change           for.  Instant collection.
  536. color in warm water.
  537.                                              BARBIE SISTERS FUN DAY
  538. NERF REBELLE DUET                            Mattel
  539. NERF REBELLE TRUE LEGACY BOW
  540. By Hasbro                                    Barbie and her sister Skipper look
  541.                                              like they're dressed for an 80s mu-
  542. For all those young women who can't          sic fest.  Barbie dons a black and
  543. wait to join the NRA, the Rebelle            white striped miniskirt, black top
  544. series are firearms and other pro-           and pink vest jacket.  Skipper is
  545. jectile weapons just for her.  The           in leopard skin legings and a T-
  546. Duet is a two pistol and the True            shirt emblazoned with the phrase,
  547. Legacy Bow is a compound bow.  If            "#I Love Music" in Frankie Goes to
  548. your girl wants to grow up to be             Hollywood font.
  549. Katniss, this is for her.  Each
  550. weapon includes jewelery and gems            2015 HOLIDAY BARBIE
  551. to glam up your Nerf Rebelle guns            Mattel
  552. and bows and make their own.
  553.                                              This is a Mattel tradition.  this
  554.                                              year, Barbie is in a red strapless
  555.                                              gown and pendulous silver earrings.
  556.  
  557.  
  558.  
  559. -Page 10-
  560.  
  561. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  562. The First Annual Totally Awesome LIBERTORIAN Gift Giving And Getting Guide
  563. 2015
  564. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  565.  
  566.            .;ccxOko'                                                            
  567.         .l0NNX0KNNXOo:.                                                        
  568.        c0NWWWWXO0NWKkol:.                                                      
  569.      .lk0NNNNWKOdkOdlodol:                                                      
  570.     .dxokXWNX0xoc;'..',,::l'                                                    
  571.     oOkOO0KOxdl::,.......;dk:                                                  
  572.   .xOxoc:codool::,......  ,00:                                                  
  573.   ,Kdl,'',cooolc:;,;cl:;'. '0K;                               .                
  574.   'Oxl,..',:loll:;:cdkko,.. 'dK,                    .....    ...                
  575.    ldkl'..:odkkdc;..:lc,,'...xNx.                .;l:.       .'.                
  576.     ckOo'.:dkKKKl,,..';:;'.. lOOc             .';:,..        c:,'.'..          
  577.     .k0Kd',::dxko,',...:lc;...oxd.      ..,;;cllokxl.       .:;:odl,.          
  578.      dKNNO'.';odxl.,'....oo,.'x0o:...';::;:;,'..      .  .  'c:ll..            
  579.      'xNWWk:.,cdOk:clc,..;,,.cOKkl,'...          .  .   .   .o;:dc,            
  580.       c0WWWWk:cok0Ol:;,:;...;Ko'  .. .;  ... ..    .        .c;ld:,            
  581.       .oXNWWMNOolxo:cxdo:,';O'    ..    ..'.,...,  . .      .c;c;  .;          
  582.       .cxXNWMMMMNOoccloollkkl.. .'. .....  ..  .'.  .:,::'   :,'. .            
  583.        ookNWWMMMMMXk0KOdkXNO;.' ,:   .;.   ..  ..'.,;...     ....              
  584.        okOXNNMMMMMMN0X0doxkk, .;cc;:;,'xo                ..;,.                  
  585.      'okOOKXKNWMMWWOK0Oc,......;lccld0NKO:.      .ckO. .;,.                    
  586.    ,kNN0Ok0XK0XN0cc00;....,,,:lkKXK0Oxkk0XK; .,xXNMNx:. ''                      
  587.  :0NWWW0kxOOdc::l;oXx.  .',;;cox0XNWWWNKxkKWKNMMMMMKKkk, .                      
  588.  0NNK0xc;;,,;;::dlc0d.. .''''.';:coxOOoKKWWWMMMMMMMWN0dOx,.                    
  589.  .''..'''',,,;::lcxK0.....',;,,;::col;dX0KWWMMWMMMNNKkNWNo                      
  590.  ..''''..''''''''l:,0c.....''.';cloc,;xK0kNWWK0WWNKNXNNWNK.                    
  591.   .........'''..',;lkoo,...',;:clcc;'kkx0x0WWWWWNNkNNNXNNXx                    
  592.     .............;c:xcOXXKKOl...''';oOdoxOkNWWWWNXWWNNXXKK0;                    
  593.        ..........;coO0K00XNNXo,;c;:dkOdllkd0NNNWWWWWWNXK0Oko                    
  594.         ...  .   ..,coddxKNNXd,:c;;codl;';:cdooxO0KXNNXKOxo:.        ..   .    
  595.                      .;lOXNXXl,;:'.'',....',:col:;;dk0XKkd:..      .. ..    .  
  596.                       .,coddd;,'..,'.:...o.''.:..,ck:odl;,,,,.             '    
  597.    '.                   ..    :...;.:..;x,.'.c,.dll;,ccxc,oo.             .:    
  598.    ;:               ,::l:d;  ...x..;,.:::'dO:c::,'cl' .  xc       .      '::    
  599.     :l:.      .',,lc.;'   0; ;'xK, :ol;''....   .xl  .  ;k...  .';     .:cc. .  
  600.      ,cllc:;::lxd.    X.  0l.,odlc;  ol',,    .,o0   ,  oxc:';cld:..,;:c:,.  .  
  601.     .  .,lllldxkxxO   X.  Kx:,;.  d  ..  :k::;'. :  .,  dxodoc;'Xlcc:;'.  .,,  
  602.     .;ccclllllllloX   .   d. .X'  d  'c  .l  kc  :  .'  dl'.c.  Kc.....'::;.    
  603.     .  .',;::;:lloX   c.  d   ',:do  :x  ..  l..,o  ..  c  ,K.  Kccc:;,..      
  604.      ......',;clldK  .X;  d   kdokc  :l  ..  oxdxd  ..  :  .;:odoc:c:',''..    
  605.         ..:lllllcd0  ,X;  '.   .,d:.    .o'  .,,c;  '.  :  .doodxdlc:c.        
  606.          .;:;'. 'O;.,xlx....,olc'..cl::,..dl'. .:'. c'..'. .',:oc,,......      
  607.                .kl;:'  .ccc;.         .';;ll ...' l ;:'c. ckl;::;.              
  608.               .,'.                  . .x.. c :.., c'.o.  ;Od     ..            
  609.                                  ,; ,. :  .;;.  .;do;;  . ..                    
  610.                                   ;, ..  ;:c:,.......                          
  611.                                    ..                                          
  612.  
  613. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  614. NERF EBELLE DUET
  615. HASBRO
  616. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  617.  
  618.  
  619.  
  620.  
  621. -Page 11-
  622.  
  623.  
  624. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  625. The First Annual Totally Awesome LIBERTORIAN Gift Giving And Getting Guide
  626. 2015
  627. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  628.  
  629.  
  630. ldxd:,,..                                    ........'',;;::::ccc:,..       ...'
  631. :ldxo::,.....                         .  ...',:lddxxxxkkkkkkxkkkxkkkxddoc:,..  
  632.  ,clccc'.........          .      ..',:ccllodxxkkkOkkkddollcccccclloxxxkkkkkkodx
  633.  .,;,:o:cccc;;:;,''..       ..';::ccc::ccccccccccll::,'',,,,,ccccc:;c:;::,:dl..:
  634.  ..''',;cc;,'',,,',,.,;'',;:cccc::;,....,;cddxxdo::;;:;;;,,,,:cccc:;;;,;;;;c'.,,
  635.    .....'. . ..........'',,,,''....  ..;xXN0k0XWWXl'............',,..','';'. .;,
  636.   ..   .  .. .... ....               .,OXKdc;::oXNO.                  ......  ..
  637.              ..                      'k0Kdlc,;lcoXN0.                          
  638.                               ....  .xXKx:';:,',:kxo'                          
  639.              .                 .,c:,xXWW:Oc:;,''ccoo,.                          
  640.             ...   .     .',.......;:dOWK'WKllclxdckx,.                          
  641.               .. .    ..  .. ..:.'lldOM0dWk;;,OXo.kx.'                          
  642.                                ,:OXWWNWNXd;''.;dkxxxddlc.                      
  643.               .      .  .    ..;x0XNd:''.''.''......;llc.                      
  644.                                cdOd;ld..::. .. .. .,.lo:.   .                  
  645.                              ..;c,.lNXlO00l.  'ddoc0c;,'  '                    
  646.                                 .',;dKOkk0K' ,00kxNWk;'.  .                    
  647.                                .,'   'okkOOOoOOOxooccc,.                  ...  
  648.                              .,,      'xkOOkkOOkl.  .:,.                        
  649.                             .'.        ;xOOOkkkd:   ...                        
  650.                           ..,.     .'clloxkxdoc,;.....                          
  651.     .                    .,.  ..:ol;;dkkxxkkkkk0Oc,.                            
  652.                        .''..'cddoxkdlokOOkkkkkOOKo;.                            
  653.     .;,.   .  '..     .'. 'coddxkkxxoldkkdkokOOO0kxko,                          
  654.    .':,..  ...c;..   ...'dxxxxxkkxkkdlldkkx':kOOOOOOOoll;.                      
  655.     'c;..  ...::..  .o:oxkkkkkxkxkkkxllldxl. dkkkkOOOddddo:,'.                  
  656.    .'c,. .':ccll,;oddxooddxkOOkxxxxkkxocld.  ,,xkkOkxoddxdoxxo;'.'','..        .
  657.   '';c'';c.'::cc;x00kxdxkOOOOOkxxxxkkxdxd;     :xkkddxddddkOkxxdoxkkOOx'      ..
  658.   ..co:cccllldxOkk0K00OkOOOOOOkkxxxkxxkkd.     'xxxdddxkkO00OOOOOkd:kOx:'     ..
  659.   .ckkllododk0OOkkOOO0K0OOOkkkxkxxkxxxkxc      ,xkkxkkkkkOOOOOOkkxdkkkd;..  ..';
  660.  'xdxOodkO00O000OkkkkkOOO0OOkddkkkkkkkkd.      'xkkkkxxkkkkkkkkkkxxxxxdl,...,',c
  661.   ;l00OKK0OOOOOOOO0kkkkOOOOOOxxxkkkkkkko       'xkkkxxxxkkkkkOOkkxxddxxkdl:;;,;l
  662.  'l0O0OXXX0kkOOkkOOOkO0OkkkkkkkOO0Okkkk'       ;kkkOOOkkkkkkkkkOOxodxkkOO0kc;;:d
  663.  .lookxKKK0OKXXKK000KXK0000OOOOOO0000Oo        ,kOOOkkkkkkkkkkkkOO0OkkkkkkOxkd.;
  664.  .codKO0KKXXXXXXXKXXKKK0000OOkkkkkkkko.         cokkkkkOOOOOOOkkxxkOK0000O0kOx.,
  665.  ;dkkKO0KKKKXXKKKKK0KKK0Okkkkkkkkkkkx:          ,;okkkkkkkkkkxdoxxkOKXXXK00K0x,l
  666.  :xO0X0k00KXXKKK00000K0OOkOOOkOOkkkkd'          :clkkkkkkkkkxdlodkkOKKkx000Klx;x
  667. .lO00NNX000KKK000000K0OkkkkO0OOO0OOko,     .   .dxdxkkkkkkkxddlookkOK0x000Kklldk
  668.  cOOOxc00OO0KKK0O0000OkkkkkOO00OO0Okx,          :oxxkkkkkkddxxdldkOOXXK000Oko';x
  669. .l0OOk00OOOO0000000OOkkkkkkkkO000OOk;           .dkkOOkkxooxkkkdxk00KK0Okkc,'.;x
  670. .xK0KK000kkkOOOO00OkkkkkkkkkkkO0000Ol..         .kOOxddddlclxkkkxkOOO0OkkOkl,.lk
  671. .dKKKK0KKkkkk00000OkkkOOOOOOOOOOOOxc            .dOOOkkxolokkkkkkkkkOOkkkKKK0:ox
  672. .dXKKKKXKOkkO0KKK0OOOOO000000OOOk,               .:xkkkxdodxkkkkkkkO0OkkOK0KKXOk
  673.                        
  674.  
  675. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  676. 2015 HOLIDAY BARBIE (AFRICAN AMERICAN) (ALSO AVAILABLE IN CAUCASSIAN)
  677. MATTEL
  678. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  679.  
  680.  
  681.  
  682.  
  683. -Page 12-
  684.  
  685. MONSTER HIGH SLOMAN "SLO-MOE" MORTA-          *                        T O Y S :
  686. VICH AND GHOULIA YELPS 2 PACK                / \         F O R   T H E   B O Y S
  687.                                              o o\                              
  688. Nothing is as romantic as zombie            //.\\   Here are some of 2015's cool
  689. love!  Slo-Moe is in Monster High's         //|\\   toys for boys and boys at
  690. chess club and Ghoulia is well-es-         ////\O\  heart.  The major problem is
  691. tablished in the series.  Fans of          o | |o   prying them out of Dad's
  692. Monster High have known Slo-Moe from         /_\    hands so the kids can use
  693. the series' early days in 2010, and                 them!
  694. he was never released as a toy until
  695. now, although a plan to rotate him         STAR WARS EPIC BATTLES MICRO MACHINES
  696. in a "Ghoul Spirit" wave was canned.       Hasbro
  697. If you know a Monster High fan but
  698. are confused by it all, just get her       This Toys R Us Exclusive features 48
  699. this.  She'll be inexplicably happy!       Micro Machines vehicles and figures.
  700.                                            Also included is a play mat so kids
  701. MONSTER HIGH DEADLUXE HIGH SCHOOL          can engage in their own galactic dog-
  702. Mattell                                    fights and battles!
  703.  
  704. For the Monster High fan that has          #STICKBOT STUDIO
  705. everything, but where to put it?           Zing Toys
  706.  
  707. ALEX SPA SKETCH & SPARKLE TATTOO           #StickBot Studio is a pair of laid
  708. PENS                                       back translucent stick figures with
  709. Alex                                       sucker pad limbs, and a tripod for
  710.                                            your cell phone camera.  Kids cre-
  711. Girls can freestyle their own tattoo       ate their own animations and upload
  712. designs on their body with the spec-       to YouTube where they are tracked.
  713. ial set of non-toxic, skin-safe body       You Create!  You Animate!  You SHARE!
  714. pens.  Stencils and gems to glam up
  715. the look are included.                     PLAMOBIL CITY ACTION POLICE STATION
  716.                                            Plamobil
  717. THE LEGO MOVIE WYLDSTYLE CLOCK
  718. PlaSMmart                                   The Plymobil Police Station is a 2-
  719.                                            story headquarters that comes with a
  720. now children can wake up to The Lego       crook, 3 cops, and over 250 pieces.
  721. Movie's sassy and daring Master            Plamobil always were famous for over-
  722. Builder.  The clock is a large 8"          loading their packages with goodies!
  723. Wyldstyle minifigure with a digital        Kids can pretend that the perp is a
  724. display and alarm.  A LiberTORian          wrongly accused Edward Snowden and
  725. article on the Lego Movie is in this       help him escape from the well-meaning
  726. issue; be sure to read it.                 but misguided police, only knowing
  727.                                            what the feds told them.
  728. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE BERRY BEST            
  729. ADVENTURE COLLECTION                       THE LEGO MOVIE EMMET LED LIGHT
  730. Hasbro                                     PlaSmart
  731.  
  732. Originally by the American Greetings       This oversized Lego Minifigure is the
  733. Company, Strawberry Shortcake is           perfect size for a child's hands, and
  734. back for a new generation of girls         when you press his chest, the LED
  735. to love!  This deluxe 5-pack comes         lights in his legs light up.  Be ad-
  736. with Strawberry Shortcake and some         vised: these lights are bright!  It's
  737. of her best-loved friends from the         a great gift for preppers, although  
  738. 1980s: Orange Blossom, Raspberry           his fellow preppers may laugh him off
  739. tart, Lemon Merange, and Cherry Jam        when he's using one under Marshall
  740. (a newer addition).  And they are          law and everyone else has regular
  741. scented, like the originals!               lights!
  742.  
  743.  
  744.  
  745. -Page 13-
  746.  
  747. LEGO STAR WARS MTT                          MINECRAFT PERIODIC TABLE
  748. Lego Group                                  Mattel
  749.  
  750. This huge model is built from over          Not since the Pet Rock has something
  751. 900 Lego pieces!  It is one of the          so useless been so in demand (well,
  752. Trade Federation's most rugged land         except anything Cards Against Hu-
  753. vehicles, and it comes with 7 Battle        manity).  It's a bunch of Minecraft
  754. Droids, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, a Naboo           blocks; one for each mineral in the
  755. Guard, a Droid, a STAP, an dlots of         game.  But give the kids some Mine-
  756. hidden surprises!  This one will be         craft figurines, also by Mattel, and
  757. out of production very shortly, so          they'll be lost for hours in their
  758. act quickly or yo'll pay triple the         world.
  759. price on eBay in a few months!
  760.                                             WWE RAW EDITION AUTHENTIC SCALE RING
  761. PERPLEXUS EPIC                              Mattel
  762. Spin Master
  763.                                             Recreate epic matches with this 40+
  764. This 12" clear globe is actually a          piece set, designed for 6 inch fig-
  765. giant 360° marble maze.  By working         ures.  This 22 inch square ring in-
  766. both with and against gravity, you          cludes rubber turnbuckles and a real
  767. must navigate the ball through 125          fabric skirt.  It also stores 50 of
  768. obstacles of increasing difficulty.         your wrestling figures.
  769. Can you complete the Perplexus?
  770.                                             HEXBUG BATTLE SPIDER
  771. POWER RANGERS DINO CHARGE: DINO ZORD        Innovations First
  772. MEGA PACK                                   This 2-Hexbug Spider set is perfect
  773. Bandai                                      for father-and-son play.  Build your
  774.                                             fortress.  Activate your remote con-
  775. This Toys R Us Exclusive features           trol Hexbug Spider.  Battle with
  776. six multi-colored Dino Zords who            lasers and strike down the opposing
  777. combine into a Mega Zord.  This set         spider!
  778. is special because it has chrome
  779. chrome gold parts and glow in the           LEGO CITY POLICE STATION
  780. dark chargers.                              Lego Group
  781.  
  782. GIANT SIZE GODZILLA                         Lego City is mostly now just cops
  783. Jakks Pacific                               and robbers.  There always has to be
  784.                                             a villain nowadays... but Lego sure
  785. He's the kind of the monsters.  And         has evolved!  If you miss this, do
  786. he's over 3 feet tall!  The ultimate        not fret.  Lego releases a new one
  787. Godzilla is fully articulated and           every few years.
  788. features a swinging tail.  Mego toys
  789. released one in the 1970s.  If your         CLASSIC ARMY MEN
  790. guy is all grown up, go find it on          Various companies including ToySmith
  791. eBay and he'll be yours for life!
  792. If he's just a kid, this one will           Simply a timeless toy.  No further
  793. make his year!                              explanation is needed.
  794.  
  795. TRANSFORMERS GENERATIONS COMBINER           Boys are easily pleased.  Give them
  796. WARS OPTIMUS PRIME                          Star Wars figures, Transformers,
  797. Hasbro                                      G.I. Joe, Marvel figures, real hero
  798.                                             figures (actual military men that
  799. Reminiscent of 1986 Ultra Magnus.           are G.I. Joe sized), and they'll be
  800. Theres nothing else to say; Prime is        happy.
  801. a libertarian role model for 30+
  802. years. "Freedom is the right of all         There's more to come.  Read on,
  803. all sentient beings", is his motto.         spirit.  Read on.
  804.  
  805.  
  806.  
  807. -Page 14-
  808.  
  809. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  810. The First Annual Totally Awesome LIBERTORIAN Gift Giving And Getting Guide
  811. 2015
  812. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  813.                         ......                                                  
  814.                   ...c,;ccc::;,','...                                          
  815.            .    ,;lodxxddoooodoc::cccc.                                        
  816.           .ll:..odxxxkkkdddddodddxlc:cll;.                .','..'',,,....      
  817.    'l,;,. .dxkkkkkOOkkxddooooololxkddddll:              .:dkkxooc:;,,,.',,.    
  818.     lkkxdc,xkO00K0OkOkOOkxdOOkkkkkkxkxoccc:.          .;coddxxdc:::;'',''',,..  
  819. c.  'OkOkk000O0K00kO000KK00K0kOO0KK0ol;,:l:.          ;oddxkkkOkxxxd:,::,:,;c;.
  820. XOdccO000K00OkO0KXXkddXXNXNNK0000OKKOd,              .;clldxxkOxdxko:,;:,c;:cl,.
  821. MWXXXK0K0KKKXXXXXKKKOOKXxOXNNNXK0kkkxxOc.         .  .',:clclll;;:c:,..',,c',;'
  822. WWNXNWXNXXXXNXXWWNXX0NXKkkXNXXXKd...:dxl'         .   ,;::c:ccl;,'.,......;'...
  823. WWWNNNNNXXNNNWNNWWWWWWNX0NWNN0O:                 .    .:;:cloxkkoc::,''...':....
  824. WWWWWWNNNNWWNMWNWWWNKXNNNN0Oxd:                  ';.   .';;codkOOOkOxl:':::lc.c:
  825. WWNNNWWXNXXNKNWWWWNkk0OOK0Odolc.                       ..c'....'ck000OxdOOOOOlko
  826. WWWWXWNNNNNNNWNNWWN00xlcddxxdood.                      .... ..   .oK00O0KXXXXXX0
  827. WMWWWNNNNXKNNWWNXN0k0oo;lldoodoko                                 .lOKO0XNNXXWNX
  828. WWWWWWNNNNXNNN0ONKNOo:cocooooc:cc.                  . .         ...'o0KKNNNXNWXK
  829. KNWWWWWNXNNKKNd;0NNxll:ol;o:d:lol'                 .         .....',cdkkxkKNXX0l
  830. XNNWWWNXKXNNKW0o0WXkdxcl:okdxoddl                  cl,;.   .....',,;'.,,'cOXKO,
  831. 0ONWWWXKKXWNk0XONNKkdloldkKkxdxxl       . .:c,.    ,k:;.  .....';::llcdKNNNXO.  
  832. 0KWWWWNXXWNNOOWWMXkdoddook0xxxkOd...,:ldddxOxxkdoo' .'.   ....,;::cclxNNXKOl.  
  833. NMWWWWNNMNKXXWMMXOOkdcodx0kxk0kdcldxxxxxxk0OkxkOKKd      ....,;:::clo,''.      
  834. MWWNNWNWN0KKNMMMXXKKOkxx0KO0WNKoxdxxxkkxxO0Okk0XKOkc.  ...',:cc:;cooON;        
  835. MNNNNNWWN0O0MMMMN0NX00OOOOKWMWNNKXddkkkxkOOOkOK0OOkkxol;;:::;'.';cllxXO'        
  836. N00OONWWNXXWMMMWNXKXkkdkdOKKWMWNWWkxkOkxkOOOkO0kkOkkkkxd:....',;:cldOOOOko.    
  837. WK0kkXWWWNNMMWWNX000OO0odKKOKWWWWWXXOkkxkOOOkOOkkkkkkkkkxdc:;:clodkOOO0KOkx.    
  838. NNXXOOKNWNXNNNXKK00OkkoloOOOOO0XWWWWN0kkkO0OkOOkkkkOOkkkkkkkkkOOOOOO0K0OOOOkl'  
  839. XWWNKO0KNNNXKKKKK0kodol;'cOOOOO00KXWWNK0O00OkkOkkkkkOOkkkkkkOOOOkkO00Okkkkkkkkd:
  840. KXMWN0OXNWNXNNNXX0d;,..   okkxoxkOkkN0KOO00OkkkkkkkkOOOOkkkkkkkOOO0OkkkkkkkkOOkk
  841. XXWNWXOk0WNXXXKK0kKx       .      .xXX00000OkkkkkkkkkkOOOOOOOOOOOOOkOOkkkkOOOOOk
  842. XXWKX0KxkKNNXXNOOXMWk              dKK0OoO00OOOOkkkkkkOOOOOOOOOOOkkOOOOkk00OOOOO
  843. NNXNx0N0k0XXXKXXONMWNk.            'XKONXx00OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOkOK0OOOOO
  844. XWNKNON0xxKXKXO0NKWNNNO.           lNNNNNxO00OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0K00O000
  845. KXWX0NXNKK0WNNXkNNKKXNXk          .',KN0ko0000OOOOOO0000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKX0x00
  846. NWWWNK00KWWWMMNXO00KNWWNO           .,kkdk0000OOOOOOOOO000000000OOOOOOO0NXKko;;k
  847. NWWMMX00XK0KWMWNX0XWMMWNX;           .xkkk00000OOOOOOOOOO00000000000O00KXOol:,.'
  848. WMMMMWN00kkXMWNWWNWMWWNNNO           .xkkkO00000OOOOOO0000000000000000KNNklco',.
  849. MMMMMWKKkONMMMMMMMMMWXXXNX:          :xkkkkO0000OOOOOO00000000000000kkXNWNxddcod
  850. WWMMMMKOkNMMMMMMMMMMWO0OKXd          oxkkkkO00000OOOOO000000000000Kkc',lOXKOO0cl
  851. WWMMMMWNWMMMMMMMMMMMWXKKXKKc        .dxkkOkkO0000OOO00KKOk0000000KK0kkd'..,dkkKO
  852. NXWMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWNN0KKO00.       .xxkOOkkOO0000O000KXOdlcoddoloOKNWWNKoodXXK0
  853. WXOdcdNMMMMMMMMMMMMWNXKXNOKK'       'xk00OOkkO00KK0000KKX0Odlcc;c:oXWWMMMWWWXXWX
  854. Nd   .kMMMMMMMMMMMWWWNNXXKKl        ,kKMWNKOOkoKWWWWWXKKKXKXKNKOXWMWWWWMMMMWWWMX
  855. 0   .KMMMMMMMMMMMMWNNNWNXKo         ,kOWMMNXKONMMMMMMW0KXNWXKNWNWMWXWWXO00XNKXWW
  856. .   :WMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNXK:          ,kO0WWNKKKKXNNNWMWWMMMMMNXWMMMMXXW0dk0K0OKMM
  857.     kWMMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWNKd           'kO0WMMK0KK0KNWMMMMMMMMMKkXWWMMMNMWNWMMMMMMM
  858.     0WMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWNOXWK,         .OOONMWNXOOKWMMMMMMNxooo,.c0KKXNXWMMMMMMMMMM
  859.     0MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWK.XMWW0:.       k00KMMMNNWMMWWWWWWNXX000KK0000XMMMMMMMMMMMM
  860.    .XMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMk .NMWKXK0Oxc.   ONNNWWWWWMMMX0KKKKKKXNWWMMMMMMMMWXOdlo0MMMM
  861.     0MMMMMMMMMMMMMMX. OWWKkXNXWWMK;'OMMMNKNXWMMMMMWXNWKKKXWMMMMMMMWX0dl:cdkXMMMM
  862. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  863. GIANT SIZE GODZILLA
  864. JAKKS PACIFIC
  865. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  866.  
  867.  
  868.  
  869. -Page 15-
  870.  
  871.    *                     G A M E S :        MUNCHKIN
  872.   / \            F O R   A D U L T S        Steve Jackson Games
  873.   o o\                                      
  874.  //.\\   Christmas is for grown-ups,        Steve Jackson was mentioned in issue
  875.  //|\\   too!  Enhance the festive          9 of LiberTORian.  He's best known
  876. ////\O\  spirit of Christmas time           for this game, a spoof of RPG gaming
  877. o | |o   with some great, well de-          itself.  Knock down the door, fight
  878.   /_\    signed games.                      monsters, get to level 10 first!  It
  879.                                             is all about advancing levels above
  880. JOE NAME IT                                 all else.  Whimsical and fun, for 3
  881. Gamewright                                  to 6 players.
  882.  
  883. *Joe Name It* is a pocket-sized fast        MAGIC 8 BALL
  884. paced party game.  Roll the die,            Mattel
  885. draw a card, and fill in the blank
  886. with the number rolled.  Be the 1st         You know what this is.  up to 20 re-
  887. to answer the question, like "name a        sponses to your baffling questions.
  888. music group with [blank] members.           It was invented in 1950!
  889. If you roll a 4, be the first to say
  890. "Beatles", for instance.   Everyone            *                       T O Y S :
  891. plays with an invisible "Joe" who             / \            F O R   A D U L T S
  892. gets wrong answers and can even win           o o\                              
  893. the game!  For 12+                           //.\\   And now for the coolest, or
  894.                                              //|\\   just plain geekiest, gifts
  895. SETTLERS OF CATAN                           ////\O\  for Christmas.  These gifts
  896. Mayfair Games                               o | |o   amp up the awesome factor,    
  897.                                               /_\    or the nerd factor, or BOTH
  898. build settlements and develop so-                    AT ONCE!
  899. cieties in this euro-inspired game
  900. from Mayfair Games.  This is des-           LEGO BIG BANG THEORY
  901. tined to be a classic of tomorrow.          LEGO GROUP
  902.  
  903. STRATEGO ORIGINAL                           Recreate Leonard & Sheldon's apart-
  904. Patch                                       ment with much of their toys in this
  905.                                             Lego set.  Includes Leonard, Shel-
  906. Stratego has returned and it's just         don, Penny, Amy, Howard, Raj and
  907. like the original, with minor chan-         Bernadette.
  908. ges.  The spy is now a woman, for
  909. instance (at first I thought she was        LEGO BIRDS
  910. a new character: The telephone oper-        LEGO GROUP
  911. ator).  There is a new character who
  912. adds a twist: The infiltrator.  You         If that wasn't nerdy enough, Lego
  913. can play with the infiltrator, or           has a set of birds which definitely
  914. play classic Stratego, exactly like         look graceful and smooth despite the
  915. the original from the 1960s.                "brickiness" of the Lego brick.  
  916.                                             Build three birds and place them on
  917. PANDEMIC                                    stands with plaques showing their
  918. Z-Man Games                                 scientific names.  Instructions also
  919.                                             includes information about the spe-
  920. Tired of scheming against each other        cies.
  921. and all the malice?  Pandemic is a
  922. cooperative game, where everyone            R.E.V.: ROBOTIC ENHANCED VEHICLES
  923. works together and wins or loses as         WowWee
  924. a team.  Players are a team of med-
  925. ical experts trying to contain out-         What could be cooler than a pair of
  926. brakes of diseases.  Can you save           streamlined bluetooth sports cars
  927. the world as a team?                        equipped with lasers?  How about
  928.  
  929.  
  930.  
  931. -Page 16-
  932.  
  933. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  934. The First Annual Totally Awesome LIBERTORIAN Gift Giving And Getting Guide
  935. 2015
  936. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  937.    .;:       .::,                                                              
  938.    oMN'      :MM:                  ...    .''l;..   ... ...  .. ... .'.    .    
  939.    :MMx      OMW,  :,   .ll. cOd  .dXc .oOdd0XxNX'  cWo dWc cNl cWc oMX'  .X.  
  940.    ;WWW:    c0KW' .Nd    00  cKXd  .K.;X0'  .x,X0.  ;M: oM,.k;  ;M; lXKX' .O    
  941.    lOdWO.  .K;xW: .Ko    0k  cd,Ko '0,XN'      0Xl:cxM: dMON:   ,M; lk.K0.'0    
  942.    oo xWk. do oMd .Kc    0k  co '0x;0lMO       ONdlckMc oMXWx   'M: cx .0KcO    
  943.    ol .KWc:k  ,Wk  Oo    0d  :o  ,XKO;WX.    ..OO   ,Mc oM,cNl  'M: cd  'XNO    
  944.    do  lWKK:  ,Nk  l0.  .O'  ;o   'XO.dWx   .x.kk   ,Mc oM' cN: 'W: lx   .0O    
  945.    dx  .ON0.  ,NO   cl,,l,   cx.   ;k  ;kko:d0'O0.  .Oc :O,  cK;'k; oO.   'x    
  946.    Ok   .0l   lXK.    .             .     .  .                ;0:              
  947.    ..    '.   ...     .                                        .:c.            
  948.                   ...,.            ..                                          
  949.                 .,'..              .oc'                   ..  ... ...........  
  950.                ..  .                 ;:'.           FIGHT THE MONSTERS
  951.               ,  .'                   .;.'.         GRAB THE TREASURES            
  952.              ,   '                     .' ..        .    ..  ..,;:..  ..',. ..  
  953.             ''   .                      ,  ,.                                  
  954.             c.  .'      .'              '.  .                                  
  955.            .l    .       x'             .'  .                                  
  956.            'l    .   .':.0Nc            ',  .                     .            
  957.            .c    .llxO0NKNMWO;          ,.  .                  .. .....        
  958.           ';o     :kOOO0WMMMMWO.       .,.  '                                  
  959.          cOxk.     :0KKKWMMMMMWd:;;,.'::;...,                ,l. ''.....        
  960.          odokl     .c0XNWMMMMMMMMMWWWWNXOd,:,                 .                
  961.          kdodOc.   ..;kWMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWK0'                ..     .          
  962.         lKkkO0Nx,,'',;l0MMMMMMMMMWWWWNNNWWMMk.        .....  .'.......          
  963.        .KOO00KXNOc:c::xNMMMMWN0koc;;.;c,':k0'                                  
  964.      .dKOxO0KKXNWN00OKWMWW0do..,c';0llO,...d.                                  
  965.      oMX';kOKXXNWMMW0kO0od;,O;odl'.col:   .x'           ...:kl                  
  966.      kWc  'd0KKNNMMd. '..llc:.;;.,'cko'    .      . ... ..oN0c                  
  967.      do.   :00KXNK:;,'.      .o.:oxxd;o.    .,'...,... ;XXWMo...                
  968.     :d.    .cO0KKKx'';c:;'    :;xl..:,;;c.  .,'.','  . .lkK0;.,::ldo..          
  969.    :k'      .'dOOXWx0d:NNO; .  ..       :o  ..''.'.....  .:;..;lk0KO;'          
  970.   lk'         .:xXMMMNXWNNXckx.;;.     .l.....,,.. .';,..ldo,...'':o:,          
  971.  d0'            ,00WMMNOo:l0XooddOdlc;;:......... .,..'. ..:c;,...':;''        
  972. .cooc:,.       .x'.,',';lcdXNOolKXkdc:;..,..........,...  .:lcc;...,;;lx;      
  973.     .'coo:'   .oo     ,::0NNXWNXX00loKNKK0o''.,:;dolOdo0lc:........dXNNN0c      
  974.         .;odl,.o..:c,;dl:0XNNMMMMWNO0WMMMMWXX0XX0KKKNMMMMMNkl......'dXNNKo      
  975.            .,oxd::,.'cdo..xWMMMMMMMMWXOxdl;,'...    xMMMMMMM0'';'....lkxo''    
  976.               .     cddd..:WMMMWWWXc::.;:cdk0.      0MMMMMMMK;,.......::;.''    
  977.                    ;;,c0'.'KMMWWWWWNNN0NWWWWWOO0OO0KWMMMMMMK:..........'';,.'  
  978.                    l;;oO,..xMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWMNWNXWNWNKNXOKxdd,''''',,........,.  
  979.      .. .......,::cxxd:...:kWMMWXK0XMMW00O0O,;,.:,;,.,'.,o0KK00KK0O0o.......,.  
  980.     .....';lxoodxkO0KOko,o00X00Ko..oKx,.lO0xc;,.........cXNNNNXNKK0XO,......';  
  981.    .......okdxOKKO0o....cxkxc.:dO:'kk,...'od0K:. .;c'...xNNNNNNN000XKo;'....':'
  982.   '.....,xKKKKOxlol     .d'....cxlOxl.......;d. ..,Ol:llKNNNNXXN00OXk:oxc....'.
  983.   .''..,dxkxol;,,lc.     c:;;::o''k:xc:,:cclxl,;:cokcllcKNXXKKKKOkxOocxo'      
  984.    ..             ..,'....,;;,;. ....,::cllll;,,'...    ,;;;,'.......''.        
  985.       .  .   .      ..        .  ... . .  ........'...  ...  .  .  ......'..    
  986. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  987. MUNCHKIN game
  988. STEVE JACKSON GAMES
  989. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  990.  
  991.  
  992.  
  993. -Page 17-
  994.  
  995. pitting them in a battle against            shop and pick up an orange gel pen.
  996. each other?  The R.E.V. Battle Pack
  997. includes two smart vehicles: one            SEA MONKEYS
  998. black and one white, and you can            Sea Monkeys
  999. play two ways, person vs person, or
  1000. person vs. CPU!  TOTALLY AWESOME!           They're actually just brine shrimp
  1001.                                             and they occur in nature, not made
  1002. RE-ACTION FIGURES                           in a lab.  Their advertisements
  1003. Re-Action                                   graced comic book pages in the 1960s
  1004.                                             and 1970s.  Still cool today.  Did
  1005. Thes 3 1/4 inch action figures are          you know they have THREE EYES?  They
  1006. so retro, they are barely articu-           are born with one baby eye, grow two
  1007. lated; they move their heads, legs,         adult eyes and as they get older,
  1008. and arms, and that's about it.  They        lose their baby eye.  Then they put
  1009. are so much like vintage Star Wars          their eye under the pillow and the
  1010. figures, it doesn't matter!  Even           eye fairy gives them money while the
  1011. the packaging is retro-cool!  Re-           Sea Monkey sleeps.  Actually, the
  1012. action figures exist for such movie         last sentence was made up but the
  1013. franchises as Jaws, The Fifth Ele-          eye lesson is true.
  1014. ment, Predator, Firefly, Scarface,
  1015. Taxi Driver, and many other cult            HEXA DRONE
  1016. faves!  Collect them all!                   Skeye
  1017.  
  1018. DISNEY STAR WARS STAR DESTROYER             This $45 mini-drone has six blades
  1019. BLUETOOTH SPEAKER                           instead of the usual four and looks
  1020. iHome                                       totally awesome!  Available at the
  1021.                                             Awesomer Shop:
  1022. Repel girls from your home and enjoy          http://shop.theawesomer.com/sales/
  1023. the solitude by playing all your              skeye-hexa-drone
  1024. favorite tunes through the speaker
  1025. of a STAR DESTROYER.  Put on the            CHEAP PERFUMES/COLOGNES
  1026. Imperial Theme from Star Wars, then         Bod
  1027. amp it up to 11!  You just ROCK!
  1028. Also available in Millennium Falcon,        Bod is a line of inexpensive scents
  1029. for you rebel scum.                         for men or women.  They're really
  1030.                                             cheap, so just ask for a whole bunch
  1031. SUPER SPIROGRAPH 50TH ANNIVERSARY           and try them all to find your favor-
  1032. EDITION                                     ite, or rotate them around to keep
  1033. Kahootz                                     them guessing!  It's a small invest-
  1034.                                             ment for something you may love!
  1035. Yeah, yeah.  The packaging says,
  1036. "Ages 8 and up", but you know it's          SILVER COINAGE
  1037. for us adults who enjoyed it our-
  1038. selves.  You really learn math and          Silver is so undervalued today, and
  1039. geometry doing this, just don't let         the Federal Reserve is planning to
  1040. the kids know they're learning.  It         topple the house of cards economy
  1041. is total fun making geometric de-           they created, so it's the best in-
  1042. signs.  The pens are even better, as        surance policy for economic ruin.
  1043. they are GEL pens instead of un-            They're asthetically pleasing.  1 oz
  1044. reliable ball points.  Also, the set        bullion coins from the U.S. mint are
  1045. uses putty to hold the rings in             nice, but the Perth Mint and Canada
  1046. place, so you don't poke holes in           make theirs with more silver!  It's
  1047. your paper like you did wit the old-        the perfect gift for anyone.
  1048. fashioned Spirographs.  The only
  1049. drawback is that there are only 3           That's the list for 2015.  Who knows
  1050. pens; the set from the 1970s had            what amazing and wonderful things
  1051. four.  So go to your local craft            next year holds?               ((L))
  1052.  
  1053.  
  1054.  
  1055.  
  1056. -Page 18-
  1057.  
  1058. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  1059. The First Annual Totally Awesome LIBERTORIAN Gift Giving And Getting Guide
  1060. 2015
  1061. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  1062. XNNNXookd       .:xkkxxxxkcXNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN0,..ONNNNWNo.,XNNNNNNNNWNNNNNNNNNNNNN
  1063. 00KKKolkd  ;ool. .xdcllcdx,xOOxxk0XXX0kkk0XXo  0KOkkXNl.:XXOokkllkXNXOc;;;;,0KXX
  1064. ''','.lkd   ..   ;x;    lx'c' .,. ;K; .,  cX0  Oc .;Kk. .Kc   ..  l0: 'l;  lOOOO
  1065. :ccc:'lxd  ';;;.  c,  coxx'.  ,,'  O:';;. .KO  . .0XXKl .KX' ;XX; 'k. 'oc  dOOkx
  1066. kOOOklcxx  'clc;  ;; .xxxx'. .loooll  :l' .KO  c  'kKKo 'KX. lXX: 'x.    'oxkkkd
  1067. 00000ocxx        .d; .xxxx';. .''.'l  ':.  lc  ,k,  'o'  cd  .kx.  :       .dxxd
  1068. OK0K0olkkdooollodxxocoxxxx'loc;:cdO0o::lkllOxolxNXkddOxdo0OdxOX0xddo  '..' .xkkx
  1069. OKKK0dcxxxxddddxxxxxxxxxxx':coxxkOO0000000KXXNNNNNNNNNNXXXNNNNNX000k:.. ..:dkkkx
  1070. O0KK0Olooollllllllllllllcc.,,;::ccclllllllloooodXXNNXXXXXXXNNXXKOOOOkxocclodxxdd
  1071. O00K0000000KKKXXKKKKKK0O00;ddddddddxxxxxxx,:,loc000000000000000OkOOkkxdollllodxk
  1072. O0000000000KKXXXXXXKKK0O00:dooooooddxkkkkx.'.:d:OOOOOOxdkO000OOkkkkkxdolcoooxkO0
  1073. OOOOOO000000KKXXXKKKKK0O00:o       .:xkkkkxkxko,odddo.  ldxkkxxxxkkOkkkxxxdddxkO
  1074. kOOOOOO000000KKKKKKKKK0OO0:o  ,loc. .xxdc;;:lxo;ol;'',  okOOO0000000Okkkdxxoloxk
  1075. xkkkkOO0OO000000K00000OkOO:o  ....  ;xl  ..  ,o:d. :c'  x0KKKKKK0KK00Okkxdkdc:cl
  1076. kOkkxxxxxkOOOO00OOOOOOkxkk;o  .;;,.  cl...   .oc. c00O  k0KKKKKK0KK00Okkdlooc;;:
  1077. 0KK000Okxxdddooodxxxkkxdxx;o  ,oooc  ;. .:c' .o:. 'kOx  x00KKKK00000Oxdolcoxxo;,
  1078. KXXXXKKKKK0O;.... ..kOxxxk:d        .x'  .   .oco.  ..  .k00KK0OkkkkkxxdollxkOx;
  1079. 0XXXXXXXXX:;,,,,;,:;cckkkO:xollllloxkkkdcldxoxdc0OddxOdxOOOkkkkxxkOOOOkxdlcxkO0k
  1080. 0XKKXXXXXXxkl',','';ll0kkO:xxxkkxkkkkkkkkOOOOOx'llllllcc:::::cccccccccc::::,ok00
  1081. 0KKKXKKKKKK0d;;:,,;l00Oxxklcllllllllcc,:llolllcdOOOOOkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkxxxo,oO0
  1082. 0XXKOOOOOOxolc::;,,,:colloddxxxxkOOOkl:0K000KKK00Oko:''..;okO0K0KXXXXKK00OOkd,lO
  1083. 0XXKOkOOk;;;,',,;,'',,,cdddxdxxdoxxxccOKKKKKKK00xlcllcc::dl.,oOlO0OOOkkkxxxxxx;l
  1084. KXX0xxxkxdc;,.:c::;;,'';::::::::;;;.oO0KXKKXXX0olllooooodK0d. .:dxxxxxxxxxxkkkkc
  1085. 0XK0l';:;;ll::cl:;;;;;;,,'..':::;,.,xkXNNNNNNXdlccccc:;;:lONKo..;ddkOOO000000000
  1086. 0XKo,dxxkxdd;:oxxxdoodddd:lcclcc:;,:dOXXKKK00xcoc;;,,,,,',:KWNKxocl0000000000000
  1087. xxl,cxxxkkx;..;xxl.  .cddoodocc:';,clkOOOOOOk0KNXd:;,'.';xXWWN0kkxxOKx000KKKKKKK
  1088. kxc,coxxkkd...;xx,   .,oddddoc;';:;clO0000000xokOKkxkdlxXWWNNKOkxxoxNkK0OOKKXKKK
  1089. kkl,cdxdkkd'..;xx'   ..lxdddo:';;:;:oKXXXXXXXO:,,,;dkK0NNNNX0Okdd00cKkO0O0KXXXXK
  1090. xkl;cxxdkkx;..cxxl. ..lxxdooo:::::;;dKKXXXXXKKd,''',',0XNXNKO00OxKXoK0k0OO0KKKKK
  1091. kkl;cxdoxkx:..coc:....,:cllooc::;:;:dOKKKKKKK0cd:,'''.xNKxXNK000xxNkO0dkkOkkOOOO
  1092. xkl:lxdoxkx;.......,.......;oc:;;:;cdk00000000l:xxc,'.lXXXKNNNXXKKNKOOllodxxkkkk
  1093. xkc:cdolxkxd,...... .......'c:;;;;;cdxKKKK00KK0xx0X0dcc0XNNNNNNNXNX00k...:;dxoc:
  1094. xxc,:dlcxkxkd:'....  .......,;;;;;;cod0000OOk,,',;cldo,..';cokOKXNX0ko.','o.    
  1095. xkc';lccxkxkkkl....    .....;;:::cccooO000Okl'..'''',.         .,0NNXKkKkxk'    
  1096. dxc',lclxkxkkkd....     ....,;cccoololOK0OOk:.........          .KKOOKOkdOo    
  1097. dx:',lllxkxkxxd....     .....;cccoolldOKK0Ol..........  .       ,XXNX0l..'      
  1098. dx:',oodxkxxxxx,..    .  ....;:ccodoodk0x:.....................'OX0d;          
  1099. dxc',odxxkxxxxd'..    .   ..:loodkkkkkd;.........   ....,,,,'.. ..              
  1100. oxc,;ddxxkkxxxo.... ....  'cdddxxxkkd:...........    ..,,,,,,..                
  1101. dxc,'oddxkkxxdo.......... 'ldodxdxxo;'...........     ..;,'''. .                
  1102. oxc'.dddkkxxdd:....:....,,loo::dxxl''''......... .     ..''....                
  1103. oxl, oddxkxxdd:.  .l' ...cloooo:dc''...............    ..........              
  1104. oxc' lodxkxxxd,   'd,. ..ccoooOd,,,',,..'....     ...   .........              
  1105. lxl' lodxkxxdd,  .;d:. .'oloooOOk,'','......       ..   ..........              
  1106. lxc, cdodkxkxo.. .;d:. ..lllllOOOk,,''......            ...........            
  1107. lxc,.ldodkxxdc....cd:....c'lc:OOOOk;........           ............          ..c
  1108. cxc;.ldodkxdo,....odc....,.ll:O0OxxO;......        .................     ':cdllK
  1109. cdc;.ldodxddl.....oo;....cc:lc000OxkOc....              ............     :xdldKX
  1110. cdc;.lxdddol:....;ddc....lollcO000OkOOo.               .............     .;:kXXX
  1111. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  1112. BREAKING BAD JESSE PINKMAN FIGURE
  1113. RE-ACTION
  1114. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  1115.  
  1116.  
  1117.  
  1118.  
  1119. -Page 19-
  1120.  
  1121. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  1122.                                                o     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    o
  1123.  LIBERtorIAN's EXCELLENT CHRISTMAS            / \    By the LiberTORian   / \
  1124.     MOVIE NIGHT VIEWING SCHEDULE             |   |         Writers       |   |
  1125.                                              =====   ~~~~~~~~oo~~~~~~~~  =====
  1126. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&            b            /\           d
  1127.  
  1128.  
  1129. This title's a misnomer; you really    o    50 years later.  The commentary on
  1130. can't watch all these in one night.   / \   commercialism actually grows more
  1131. But all these movies are on Blu-ray  |   |  relevant every time.  It's actually
  1132. or DVD, and various streaming sites  =====  ironic, since Charlez M. Schulz was
  1133. like Netflix, or whatever you choose  d     heavy into merchandizing his "Pea-
  1134. to use, if any.  So turn on your            nuts" characters.  And who today
  1135. tube and start watching them all!           would produce a special where one of
  1136.                                             the characters stops and tells a
  1137.                                        o    Bible story for A FULL MINUTE?  Edgy
  1138. 1) How The Grinch Stole Christmas     / \   stuff by today's standards.
  1139.                                      |   |
  1140. We at LiberTORian mean the animated  =====  5) Elf
  1141. Chuck Jones production featuring        b
  1142. the voice of Boris Karloff.  That           Will Farrell is just so... "Happy"
  1143. sad little dog, Max, goes through a         and you can't resist a smile viewing
  1144. lot in it.  What adult can resist           his innocent naivete.  Remember, he
  1145. singing in their best bass voice,      o    is NOT an Elf... he's a human raised
  1146. "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!"?     / \   by Elves.
  1147. Entertaining in every way, yet the   |   |
  1148. meaning of Christmas is sneakily in- =====  6) A Christmas Story
  1149. serted into the story so you learn    d
  1150. a lesson as well.  AVOID THE JIM            For nostalgia lovers especially.  A
  1151. CARREY VERSION.                             Christmas story harkens back to the
  1152.                                             real feel of Christmas time for a
  1153. 2) A Christmas Carol                   o    boy growing up in the 1940s.  You
  1154.                                       / \   actually can feel the Christmas
  1155. Many classic live-action movies are  |   |  coziness, in between laughs.  It's
  1156. out there, and they're all excellent =====  a very funny film; just the scene
  1157. but our personal favorite features      b   where Ralph is frantically decoding
  1158. Alec Finney.  The songs are memora-         Little Orphan Annie's message is
  1159. ble.  If you prefer another classic         worth the price of admission.  This
  1160. version, enjoy it instead.  They're         movie, actually, like Frequency and
  1161. all good!                              o    Napoleon Dynamite, actually saw its
  1162.                                       / \   success AFTER its theatrical run.
  1163. 3) The Polar Express                 |   |  And now it's a classic, with what is
  1164.                                      =====  probably the most classic line in a
  1165. One of the newer movies but it has    d     Christmas movie, "You'll shoot your
  1166. all the magic of the classics.  This        eye out, kid."
  1167. movie is perfect for that tween who
  1168. probably lost the magic years ago.          7) Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
  1169. Good animation, touching, and a nice   o
  1170. break from all that samey Pixar       / \   This atomic horror B-movie may be
  1171. stuff.                               |   |  far-fetched and cheesy but it's also
  1172.                                      =====  plenty of fun and a good movie for
  1173. 4) A Charlie Brown Christmas            b   the kids.  And there's one really
  1174.                                             clever moment in the whole film: the
  1175. This is the Christmas special that          invading martians realize that the
  1176. all others are judged against.  This        Earth settlements are above ground
  1177. must-see special still sines through        and make easy targets.
  1178.  
  1179.  
  1180.  
  1181. -Page 20-
  1182.  
  1183. 8) Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer     o    you should be able to find it.  I
  1184.                                       / \   always liked the scene where George
  1185. This classic Rankin-Bass special is  |   |  builds a rocket.  Canadian cartoons
  1186. one of my personal favorites.  You   =====  rock!
  1187. really feel for Rudolph, especially   d
  1188. in the light of the fact that Santa         14) Scrooged!
  1189. is a real JERK!  He says, "Shame on
  1190. You", to Donner just for trying to          Everyone likes Bill Murray (unless
  1191. let Rudolph fit in with all of the     o    he discusses politics or decides to
  1192. other reindeer.  What?  He's got to   / \   make his own "serious" movies), and
  1193. be an outcast because his nose is    |   |  this twist on Dickens' "A Christmas
  1194. different from everyone else's?  So  =====  Carol" is one of his all-time best
  1195. what kind of message are you teach-     b   performances.  I love the one ghost
  1196. ing people, Santa?  It makes me             who keeps hitting Scrooge on the
  1197. even more sympathetic to all those          head.
  1198. misfit toys, which I wanted to        
  1199. adopt for my own each Christmas!       o    15) The Trolls and the Christmas
  1200.                                       / \   Express
  1201. 9) Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa   |   |
  1202. Claus (#1)                           =====  Originally a Showtime or HBO special
  1203.                                       d     (as if they're not essentially the
  1204. This one is a traditionally-ani-            same channel).  This one is also an
  1205. mated cartoon reminiscent of "The           obscure one that you'll have to turn
  1206. Peanuts".                                   to YouTube to watch.  Trolls try to
  1207.                                        o    devise plans to foil Christmas, and
  1208. 10) Yes, Virginia There Is a Santa    / \   they finally do, but you never know
  1209. Claus (#2)                           |   |  why until they succeed, and then you
  1210.                                      =====  are treated to a surprise, "trick"
  1211. This one is CGI and features the        b   ending!
  1212. voice of Neil Patrick Harris.
  1213.                                             16) The Christmas Twist
  1214. 11) National Lampoon's Christmas
  1215. Vacation                               o    Here's a secret for you guys: women
  1216.                                       / \   *love* those Hallmark romantic theme
  1217. Oh, those crazy Griswalds!  And      |   |  Christmas movies.  If you want to
  1218. their iconic camper!  I live for     =====  make your girl happy, take the time
  1219. the moment when the Christmas bo-     d     to watch one with her.  "The Christ-
  1220. nus comes every year, and it's              mas Twist" is an intentional parody
  1221. jars of jelly!  I know someone who          of these types of movies, and the
  1222. quotes every line from the movie            acting is intentionally bad.  It's
  1223. as it happens.  Really annoying to     o    about a woman who opens a pretzel-
  1224. watch with him.                       / \   shaped cookie shop: you know, the
  1225.                                      |   |  kind of sugar cookie you get along
  1226. 12) White Christmas                  =====  with other types in the round tins
  1227.                                         b   at Christmas time- because it was
  1228. A lot of Christmas movies are mu-           the dream of a dying man she ran
  1229. sicals or feature music, but how            over.  Find it on YouTube or a Blaze
  1230. many feature *NAZIS* and cross-             search (http//theblaze.com)
  1231. dressing antics to evade them?         o
  1232. And that's what Christmas is all      / \   17) Eight Crazy Nights
  1233. about, Charlie Brown.                |   |
  1234.                                      =====  This is a hand-drawn animation with
  1235. 13) George And The Christmas Star     d     Adam Sandler.  Actually, since his
  1236.                                             character looks like Adam Sandler, I
  1237. A delightfully-animated Canadian            wonder why it was animated in the
  1238. cartoon.  This one's harder to              first place.  It's essentially a
  1239. locate, but go check YouTube and            Hannukah-themed "Scrooge" type story
  1240.  
  1241.  
  1242.  
  1243. -Page 21-
  1244.  
  1245. of character development.  The real    o    Another magical Rankin-Bass special.
  1246. star of the movie is "The Channukah   / \
  1247. Song 3.0", which Sandler wrote.      |   |  23) Rudolph's Shiny New Year
  1248.                                      =====
  1249. 18) Frosty The Snowman                  b   Another magical Rankin-Bass special.
  1250.  
  1251. Rankin-Bass animation rocked it all:        24) The Toy that Saved Christmas
  1252. their stop motion featureswere imag-
  1253. initive and just plain rocked, but     o    The VeggieTales is a Christian-
  1254. they also made great hand animation,  / \   themed franchise which always teach-
  1255. including this hioliday special.  It |   |  a Biblical message in an entertain0
  1256. is based on the classic Christmas    =====  ing way.  It's a great series for
  1257. song.  And what child or adult can't  d     children, but so much of the humor
  1258. watch Frosty melt away without being        is geared to adults, I think they
  1259. reduced to a blubbering mess?  There        get the real enjoyment of this ser-
  1260. is a sequel, "Frosty Returns" which         ies.  And don't let the religious
  1261. can't hold a candle to this one.  It   o    theme deceive you into thinking that
  1262. is to the original as the Jim Carrey  / \   the production values are low.  They
  1263. Grinch is to the original animated   |   |  are as high (and sometimes higher)
  1264. version.                             =====  than anything else out there.  "The
  1265.                                         b   Toy That Saved Christmas" is one of
  1266. 19) Santa Claus is Coming to Town           at least three Veggie Tales specials
  1267.                                             expressing the true meaning of the
  1268. Another Rankin-Bass special, this           holiday.
  1269. one explains all the traditions that   o    
  1270. are associated with Santa, including  / \   25) Mr. Magoo's A Christmas Carol
  1271. the origin of his beard, his suit    |   |
  1272. (actually, in real life, Santa's     =====  You can really get Scrooged to death
  1273. suit is red because it was given to   d     watching so many renditions of "A
  1274. him in an ad by the Coca'Cola comp-         Christmas Carol".  It's like listen-
  1275. any).  And his arch enemy is a dic-         ing to a "Peter and the Wolf" mara-
  1276. tator named Burger Meister Meister          thon.   But this version, featuring
  1277. Burger, who has to be German.          o    the beloved, nearsighted character
  1278.                                       / \   voiced by the late Jim Bakkus, is a
  1279. 20) The Year Without a Santa Claus   |   |  must watch.  It's got some of the
  1280.                                      =====  best songs in a Christmas special,
  1281. While we're talking about the Rankin    b   and is unique in "A Christmas Carol"
  1282. Bass Specials, every list must in-          iterations in that it has the vision
  1283. clude this one, if only for two of          impairment humor idiomatic to Mr.
  1284. the greatest characters ever to take        Magoo's TV series.
  1285. stage on the TV screen: Heat Meiser    o
  1286. and Cold miser, and their minions,    / \   I can't believe that we came up with
  1287. who are identical looking tiny ver-  |   |  25 so quickly!  Some submissions are
  1288. sions of them.                       =====  from you, but I love them all.  This
  1289.                                       d     equals one special for every day of
  1290. 21) A Miser Brothers' Christmas             December until Christmas.  Here are
  1291.                                             more titles if you can't get enough:
  1292. Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass (yes,          
  1293. someone here at LiberTORian is THAT    o    - The Santa Clause 1 & 2
  1294. nerdy that the knows their full       / \   - Elf (animated Jim Parsons special)
  1295. names) [note from Synonymous 2: it   |   |  - The Christmas That Almost Wasn't
  1296. was Synonymous 1] knew that they HAD =====  - VeggieTales: The Star of Christmas
  1297. to give these two their own billing,    b   - It's a Wonderful Life (MUST WATCH)
  1298. after the unexpected but inevitable         - The Snowman (animated)
  1299. success of these two mega stars!            - Red Skeleton Christmas Special
  1300.                                             - VeggieTales: Its a Meaningful life
  1301. 22) The Little Drummer Boy                  - The Nativity Story           ((L))
  1302.  
  1303.  
  1304.  
  1305. -Page 22-
  1306.  
  1307. ================================================================================
  1308.  
  1309.   AAA       TTTTT RRRR  U   U EEEEE      H   H I  SSSS TTTTT  OOO  RRRR  Y   Y
  1310.  A   A        T   R   R U   U E          H   H I S       T   O   O R   R  Y Y
  1311.  AAAAA        T   RRRR  U   U EEE        HHHHH I  SSS    T   O   O RRRR    Y
  1312.  A   A        T   R   R U   U E          H   H I     S   T   O   O R   R   Y
  1313.  A   A        T   R   R  UUU  EEEEE      H   H I SSSS    T    OOO  R   R   Y
  1314.                                  
  1315.                                  ~oo~  OF  ~oo~
  1316.                                  
  1317.   KK     KK  WW  W  WW     AAA     NN     NN   ZZZZZZZZZ     AAA        AAA
  1318.   KK    KK   WW  W  WW    AA AA    NNN    NN         ZZ     AA AA      AA AA
  1319.   KK   KK    WW  W  WW   AA   AA   NNNN   NN        ZZ     AA   AA    AA   AA
  1320.   KK  KK      WW W WW   AAAAAAAAA  NN NNN NN      ZZZ     AAAAAAAAA  AAAAAAAAA
  1321.   KK   KK     WW W WW   AA     AA  NN   NNNN     ZZ       AA     AA  AA     AA
  1322.   KK    KK    WW W WW   AA     AA  NN    NNN    ZZ        AA     AA  AA     AA
  1323.   KK     KK    WW WW    AA     AA  NN     NN   ZZZZZZZZZ  AA     AA  AA     AA
  1324.  
  1325. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  1326. =============================(  BY SYNONYMOUS 1  )==============================
  1327. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  1328.  
  1329. Kwanzaa is a made-up holiday.  You          some of Kwanzaa's customs have been
  1330. will probably say, "All holidays are        reappropriated from various harvest
  1331. made up; they're not found in na-           customs in Africa, allegedly.
  1332. ture.  Okay, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.  I
  1333. get it.  But read along this path of        Actually, even the customs, as every
  1334. discovery, and you'll learn, unless         aspect of this holiday, finds its
  1335. you already know, that Kwanzaa is a         origin somewhere outside Africa.  
  1336. holiday without any historical or           The name "Kwanzaa", and the names of
  1337. religious significance, the way all         its seven tenets, are not tradition-
  1338. other holidays are.  In fact, it is         al African words, but Swahili.  The
  1339. a fake.                                     word "kwanza" means "first fruits"
  1340.                                             in Swahili.  Its creator added an A
  1341. The majority of American people, not        after the end for no particular rea-
  1342. taught the origins of Kwanzaa, are          son.
  1343. led to believe that it's an African
  1344. traditional celebration that just so        More on the holiday itself; Kwanzaa
  1345. happens to fall around Christmas.           isn't best understood without first
  1346. Not surprising; it's an assumption          getting to know its inventor: Ron
  1347. people are intentionally led to be-         Everett.  That's his real name.  He
  1348. lieve by omission of facts.  And its        is known as Dr. Maulena Karenga now,
  1349. celebrants will advance the lie out-        and Ron Karenga in 1966, the year he
  1350. rightly.  The official Kwanzaa web          invented the holiday.  Confused yet?
  1351. site: http://www.officialkwanzaa            Karenga is a racist and a Marxist
  1352.       website.org/                          statist who, like the Grinch, hated
  1353. describes the holiday as "an [al-           Christmas.  Except, his heart never
  1354. leged]African American and Pan-Afri-        grew three sizes that day.  His hate
  1355. can holiday celebrated by millions          for white people hardened him to the
  1356. throughout the world African commun-        point that he regarded Christmas as
  1357. ity."  This is a lie.  If you visit         a white person's holiday.
  1358. an average traditional African town
  1359. and say, "Happy Kwanzaa", they will         There's a lot to cover in the True
  1360. look at you, perplexed, and answer,         History of Kwanzaa, but it's time to
  1361. "What are you talking about?"  For          stop a minute and reflect on some-
  1362. it is not celebrated traditionally          thing: Christmas is the celebration
  1363. by the African community, although          of the birth of Jesus Christ, whose
  1364.  
  1365.  
  1366.  
  1367. -Page 23-
  1368.  
  1369.                                  .,,,,:ooolc:,,,'                              
  1370.                              .,,,lo:,,,'....',,,::;;,.                          
  1371.                          .,,;;,.                   .cccc.                      
  1372.                        ',::.                          .lkl.                    
  1373.                     .ldc.                               .lkl.                  
  1374.                   .lkl.                                   .lkl.                
  1375.                  ,dl.                                       .ll.                
  1376.                .oo.                                           ,x,              
  1377.               .oc.                                             .l,              
  1378.              ,k,                                                .l,            
  1379.            .lk,      .',,,,,,,.                                  .l,            
  1380.           .kMl  .',,,xXOkkkOKXKkl,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:okl;,,:d;    lx.          
  1381.          .okk,,kxclkkkkkkkxxxddkkkkkkl,,,,,,,::lxdodddkl;,,;lo;,,,lKl          
  1382.          lookllkl,kl,,,,,:l:,,,,,,,,kl        ,kx;',..',,,,,,,,,lc.ll          
  1383.         'x,lKl.llll     .oK0kkl.    ll        ll .,lkkkl.       lK,ll          
  1384.        .xl,k,.lKlll  .,lkKMMKKMk.  .d: .,,,,. ll.kMMMMKKKl,.    lo.dk.          
  1385.        cXOl.;klok0l  ,xl:0MM00KKl .dc'c:,,,,::kl.'lKMMklOKWk.  ,k;cOKl          
  1386.        lKl,ll.  oMK,   .:0MMMMMk,lkddl,.     oM0'.lKWKkKNd;.  cl,:Olll          
  1387.       .l,'dKl   .OXOl.   .,,,,lkkkxxl,l;     ,KKkl.,xc,ll. .cdddl,olll          
  1388.      .kOckkk:    .;okl;lc,;cc,lko,,.,k,       ,xxKKxl,,lkxxKKl:,  l00l          
  1389.     cl,...lk;      .ll;oKMMMx,ll.   ::        .lccdkkKWN0xxxc.    .dNk.        
  1390.    cx.,l,,.ll           .,,,. .l, .,.         :d..l, .''         ..lk,,l,      
  1391.    ll,l. ,x0l..               lx..lxl.    .;ll,:d,lx.            lllOo,ll      
  1392.    lkxx. .lKl ..              'c:,        .,,.  ',l,             lllooddl      
  1393.    .kxc,,x'll ll                 ',..,.  ..  .. .,.             ,l.lllool      
  1394.     ,x, .o:ol ,:              ;c;;,.         .. .;;ll.         .l, lKl,;.      
  1395.      lx.,k;ol  ::        .... ..   .,,,,,. .,,,.   .,..,.      c:  oWlcc        
  1396.      .xllk:Ol  ll       ,l.     .::ll,,lkxl,,,,,,,.   .ld:.   .,  :00;ll        
  1397.       ,kl,;kO. .l,    .,c'.. .lxOOc,;,,,,ll,,,,,lKKl,.  .::.      lk.;l.        
  1398.        ':,;l0c  ,l. .,,. .,..ll,,,,cl.        .ll,,;o,    ,l.     ok,l,        
  1399.             lk.   .,,.         ..  .ll,,,,;;,,cc.     ..   .;.   ;Oxl.          
  1400.             .kl   ll '..,,.    ,,                 .,. ..    'x, ,x,            
  1401.              .o, ',.   :,   .,. ..                .,.    .:' :dld'              
  1402.               ,l';c,:' c, ..              .,.         ..  cd.lMk.              
  1403.                ll ;ll, .. ..  ..  ,l,. .,..,.         :, .c' ,l.                
  1404.              .lKl   ,kl.  .''.    .,cc,lx,          ..  .:. ..                  
  1405.           .::,kk.    .l;    ..      ..      ..            .;,.                  
  1406.         .,ll. ,kkl.     .ol.                    '.  .,... ;Kl                  
  1407.      .ll,.     ,KMx.     .,,,ll.    .;,,,,,.   ..   ...:,  lc                  
  1408.   .,,,,.   .,,ccxK0o.        .,. .':;,,,,,,,c'   .,.       c: ..                
  1409. .:lc. .,;;,;;,'.,Kkco:.             .,,,,,,,,.             lO:ll;;.            
  1410. ;..,,,,,,. .,;;,,,d: .,ll.                                .lOd,,l00l.          
  1411. ,,,,,,,;;,,,,..,,;dO,  .ccll.                           .lx,,xl,;cxKKd:.        
  1412. k,,,,,ld:,,,,,cc,,:Ok.    .,::ll,,.                 .,ll,,.  lKkkkkkkkkkl'      
  1413. Kl;;,,,,,,,;;,;;,,::kk.       .,,ll,,ll,,,,,,,,,cc;,cc,.     .k0c::,,;,;odccc,.
  1414. 00l;,,,,,,,cc,.  .,,lKl              .,,,,,,,,,,,.            lXl::,,,,,,,,lkKXO
  1415. lOc;,,,ll,,::,,,,;;,,:o,                                      .od,,,,,,lkkkxc,,,
  1416. lkcc,,,,,,,.     .,,,c00,                                      lO;,,,,,,,,;:;,,,
  1417. lk;.  .,,,,,;;;,,,,,,,'od.                                     ,Oo,,,,,,,,'','::
  1418. .do,;::,,,,,,.  ',,::;;c0k.                                     lk,,,,,,,,,:lcc,
  1419.  lk,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.   .kO:ll,.                             .,c0W0kkkkkddxc,,''
  1420.  lKl,,,,,'.     .',,,,,,,kN:.,ll,::,.                    .,,,,,'dMKl,;;;''::,,,,
  1421.  ,xl,:dl,,,,,lx:.cKk,,,,:kdl,    .,::,;;,'.         .,::;;,.    lWNx,lc.  'o:.lk
  1422.   lk,,kl     .xl  ,k,    lo.o,        .,,cc::.  .,,,,,.         lddl lk.   ol .k
  1423.   lo  .o,     ;o.  ld    .x:,k,            .cxkl;;.             llll .kl   ,l. ,
  1424.             ________________________________________________________
  1425. ===========(   DEPICTED: Maulena Karenga, the inventor of Kwanzaa   )===========
  1426.  
  1427.  
  1428.  
  1429. -Page 24-
  1430.  
  1431. birth was in order to, as Christians        own cult, Gail Davis and Deborah
  1432. believe, save ALL OF MANKIND.  Jesus        Jones.  Jones was high-ranking in
  1433. didn't come to save the whites only,        the cult, coronated by Karenga as an
  1434. or some of mankind.  He wasn't even         "African Queen".  He accused them of
  1435. a Caucasian himself; He was Hebrew.         of trying to poison his food and
  1436.                                             water and demanded they hand over
  1437. Back to Professor Karenga... that's         the poison.  When they didn't (be-
  1438. right: he's a professor residing at         cause there was none), he forced the
  1439. California State University.  When          two women to strip naked, whereupon
  1440. you know more about Karenga, the            he beat them both with a baton and
  1441. fact that he teaches college stu-           an electrical cord.  They were bru-
  1442. dents is yet another example on the         tally tortured in various other ways
  1443. pile of proof that college is one of        including, but not limited to tight-
  1444. America's biggest rip-offs.                 ening the toe of one of them in a  
  1445.                                             vice, using a hot soldering iron to
  1446. Karenga is your typical 1960s racist        burn their face and mouth, and force
  1447. black activists.  He's a proponent          feeding laundry detergent to them.
  1448. of racial segregation who not only          Happy Kwanzaa!
  1449. invented a racist holiday, he formed
  1450. his own Black Panthers style racist         Karenga served four or five years in
  1451. organization called United Slaves,          prison for his sadistic acts which
  1452. or US.  Their slogan was, "Anywhere         wouldn't cause #BlackLivesMatter or
  1453. we are, US is."  (I hope he's not a         Planned Parenthood to bat an eye,
  1454. professor of English.)  The organi-         because only *some* black lives mat-
  1455. zation was cult-like.                       ter, and only *some* misogamy ex-
  1456.                                             ists (and usually the only misogamy
  1457. For all Karenga's hatred for white          that exists to Planned Parenthood
  1458. people and Jews, his hatred for the         doesn't really exist!)  This is the
  1459. rival racist group the Black Pan-           kind of either violations that the
  1460. thers was just as bitter; they were         statist left wouldn't have a problem
  1461. like rival gangs.  Karenga was an           with.  Karenga would make the KKK
  1462. extremely violent and sadistic per-         either proud or jealous.
  1463. son, but for all his racism, all of
  1464. the violence he inflicted was on            In a Kwanzaa miracle, the court's
  1465. black people.                               transcripts are somehow gone!  The
  1466.                                             coverage on the trial were limited
  1467. The tensions between Black Panthers         to three small LA Times blurbs deep-
  1468. and US reached its boiling point            ly buried.
  1469. when each group wanted its own thug
  1470. to be the new Afro-American studies         While in prison for torture, the New
  1471. center president.  The rivals were          York Times wrote a glowing article
  1472. brought together by the Black Stu-          on his holiday, the first exposure
  1473. dent Union to resolve their differ-         to Kwanzaa that real people got (if
  1474. ences.  The Panthers hurled many            you consider New York Times readers
  1475. verbal personal attacks on Karenga,         real people).  This was Christmas
  1476. and after the meeting, two of his           Eve, 1971, with Karenga just recent-
  1477. followers, the Stiner Brothers,             ly convicted.  Not as much as a
  1478. tracked down two Panthers after the         Kwanzaa miracle than the Times' typ-
  1479. meeting and shot them dead.  There          ical deception, no mention of this
  1480. was a wave of violence between them         was found in the article.  But then
  1481. that followed.                              16-year-old and already a racist and
  1482.                                             anti-Semite Al Sharpton glowingly
  1483. Karenga grew increasingly paranoid,         proclaimed how Kwanzaa will right-
  1484. even imagining that his own follow-         fully commence the "De-whitizing of
  1485. ers were trying to assassinate him.         Christmas", sharing the folly that
  1486. In June 1970, the founder of Kwan-          Christmas is somehow a "white-only"
  1487. zaa tortured two followers of his           holiday.
  1488.  
  1489.  
  1490.  
  1491. -Page 25-
  1492.  
  1493. Examining the Kwanzaa traditions, an        statistic that 28 million people
  1494. investigator discovers conflicts be-        practice Kwanzaa, though there's as
  1495. tween Kwanzaa and the traditions it         much real statistical information to
  1496. purports to reflect.  For instance,         his claim as there is that he was
  1497. it was intentionally placed the day         being dive-bombed in his cell- one
  1498. after Christmas as a way to replace         of his many delusions.
  1499. Christmas as an alternative.  But
  1500. when challenged, he said that it is         None of the history of Kwanzaa is
  1501. all coincidence; it just happens to         authentic.  Even the corn exchange
  1502. fall on the African "first fruits"          on the first day is supposed to be
  1503. harvest.  The problem with this             a Mexican maize corn that didn't
  1504. explanation is that in Africa this          exist in Africa until Europeans im-
  1505. occurs in the fall, a few months be-        ported it from the Americas.
  1506. fore Kwanzaa.  Even Better Homes and
  1507. Gardens helpfully omits anything re-        So there is the history of Kwanzaa.
  1508. lated to the true nature of Kwanzaa;        It would make a pretty disturbing
  1509. the web site actually asks in its           Charlie Brown special.  To summarize
  1510. article on Kwanzaa History & Tra-           for those just skimming or who like
  1511. dition, "Does it replace Christmas?"        organized summations:
  1512. If you read the article, the ques-
  1513. tion is left unanswered.  Maybe the         1) Kwanzaa has no African historical
  1514. "yes" answer was too inconvenient?             or religious significance.
  1515.                                             2) It was invented in America in the
  1516. The seven days of Kwanzaa (the last            year 1966 by a racist, to cele-
  1517. day is New Years' Day) each has a              brate the black race.
  1518. Swahili name.  By the way, Swahili          3) Kwanzaa was invented for racist
  1519. wasn't a traditional spoken language           reasons to achieve a racist end.
  1520. in Africa until imperialist times.          4) All of Kwanzaa's traditions were
  1521. Some of the days have Marxist or ra-           stolen from somewhere else.
  1522. cist undertones, including "Umoja":         5) Kwanzaa is a protest of Christmas
  1523. (racial) unity, "Ujima": collective            although it stole traditions from
  1524. work and responsibility, and also              Christmas and Channukah.
  1525. "Ujamma": co-operative economics.           6) Its founder is not only a racist,
  1526.                                                he is anti-Semitic, violent, de-
  1527. The Kwanzaa "Menorah", like every-             lusional and Marxist.
  1528. thing in the holiday, is also stolen        7) Karenga, Kwanzaa's inventor, was
  1529. from non-African traditions.  The              convicted of torturing women.  As
  1530. real Menorah, of course, is based on           a form of justice, he now has a
  1531. Hannukah, a Holy day of historical,            High-ranking position at Cali-
  1532. cultural and religious significance.           fornia State University.  The
  1533. In Kwanzaa, however, it is just a              university officially refused to
  1534. stolen tradition that means nothing            answer statements as to why it
  1535. other than counting Kwanzaa's seven            thinks its students should feel
  1536. days.  And, naturally, there is the            safe in his presence.
  1537. gift-giving, which is based on the
  1538. three gifts of the Magi to Christ.           LiberTORian and other libertarians
  1539. Again, any historical or religious           don't care if you celebrate a made
  1540. context is not existent in Kwanzaa;          up racist holiday like Kwanzaa...
  1541. it's just another thing stolen from          we just want you to know its actual
  1542. a holiday it was created to replace.         story.  Since the truth about Kwan-
  1543.                                              zaa is intentionally overlooked by
  1544. It was designed to replace Christmas         most media, and web sites that pub-
  1545. but it's celebrated by few.  Only 2          lish the facts are disappearing, it
  1546. million Americans celebrated it at           is important that history be pre-
  1547. its peak, and Americans are the ma-          served.  I'll speak truth to power
  1548. jority of its practitioners.  Pro-           wherever people try giving it equal
  1549. fessor Karenga claims an unverified          footing with real holidays.   ((L))
  1550.  
  1551.  
  1552.  
  1553. -Page 26-
  1554.  
  1555. ___          __________  __________  __________  
  1556. [O]\    T   [O_O_O|O_O]\[O_O|O_O_O]\[O|O_O_O_O]\              ____
  1557. [O] |       [O]\___\___\[O]\_\_____\[O]\____[O]\|          __[ _  ]__
  1558. [O] |   H   [O]|___     [O]| ______ [O]|    [O] |         /          \
  1559. [O] |       [O|O_O]\    [O |[O_O|O]\[O]|    [O] |        .   ?   ?    .
  1560. [O] |   E   [O]\___\    [O]| \__[O] [O]|    [O] |        |            |
  1561. [O] |______ [O]|_______ [O]|____[O] [O]|____[O] |        '   \___/    '
  1562. [O_O_O_O_O]\[O_O_O_O_O]\[O_O_O_O_O] [O_O_O_O|O] |         \__________/
  1563.  \_\_______\|\_________\|\_______\_\|\_______\_\|           '------'
  1564.                 ___   ____   __________   __      __   __________  __________  
  1565. A Family Film  [O_O]_[O_O]\ [O_O_O_O|O]\ [O]\    [O]\ [O_O|O_O_O]\[O_O_O|O_O]\
  1566.        With a  [O]\[O]\[O]\|[O]\____[O] |[O]|    [O] |\___[O]\___\[O]\___\___\|
  1567.   Libertarian  [O]|[O]|[O] |[O]|    [O] |[O]|_   [O] |    [O]|    [O]|___    
  1568.       Message  [O]|[O]|[O] |[O]|    [O] | \_[O]\ [O] |    [O]|    [O|O O]\          
  1569.         ___    [O]||\_\[O] |[O]|    [O] |   [O]|_[O] |    [O]|    [O]\___\|    
  1570.        [OOO]   [O]||   [O] |[O]|____[O] |    \_[O|O] | ___[O]|___ [O]|_______
  1571.                [O_||   [O] |[O|O_O_O_O]\|       \[O]\|[O|O_O_O_O]\[O|O_O_O_O]\
  1572.     By G.P.S.   \_\|    \_\| \_\_______\|         \_\| \_\_______\ \_\_______\|        
  1573.  
  1574.  
  1575. Since this is our Christmas issue,          least creative, least original per-
  1576. and since LiberTORian wanted to pro-        son in the Lego universe.  The story
  1577. vide analysis of movies and TV, this        begins when he gets mixed up with
  1578. article seemed appropriate since its        those trying to restore the social
  1579. content is about toys, movies, and          order.  The Lego multiverse is under
  1580. libertarian themes all at once.  The        the tyranny of President Business,
  1581. following articles kills all three          the President of the entire world
  1582. birds with one typewriter.                  and the Octane fuel corporation.  At
  1583.               ________                      first glance, one may suspect that
  1584.              |()()()()|                     this movie is going to be an anti-
  1585.              |()()()()|                     all businesses, anti-oil company
  1586.                                             movie.  Fox News Channel jumped on
  1587. !!!!!!!!!!! SPOILER ALERT !!!!!!!!!!        this bandwagon, but it's not another
  1588.                                             Anti-capitalist film aimed at child-
  1589. This article contains revealing de-         ren.  In fact, it's just the oppo-
  1590. scriptions of the plot of *THE LEGO         site.
  1591. MOVIE*.  If you want to see it and
  1592. not know important plot points  be-         President Business isn't thought of
  1593. forehand, STOP reading, put Liber-          as a businessman as much as a con-
  1594. TORian away, and go see it, on DVD,         trol crazed statist.  According to
  1595. streaming services, and Blue-Ray.           the history of the Lego Multiverse
  1596. It's readily available to the world.        as told by the female Lego Master
  1597. After viewing, return and read the          Builder and rebel Wyldstyle (I had
  1598. rest of this article.  If you'e not         to look up the spelling to ensure
  1599. interested in watching or don't care        accuracy), the Multiverse was once a
  1600. about learning the plot, or if you          libertarian society.  Everyone was
  1601. can't resist temptation, you're wel-        free to build whatever they wanted.
  1602. come to read on.  As a libertarian,         President Business was confused by
  1603. I won't stop you.  We'll still save         his perception of free building as
  1604. surprises for you, like what is the         disorder, so he drafted the greatest
  1605. Kragle and who is the special.              Master Builders to design the world
  1606.               ________                      for him.  Everyone had to build ex-
  1607.              |()()()()|                     actly as the instructions the Master
  1608.              |()()()()|                     Builders created drew up.
  1609.  
  1610. *The Lego Movie* is about a Lego            It's a model of communism: all work
  1611. minifigure named Emmet, who is the          if for the good of the state.  There
  1612.  
  1613.  
  1614.  
  1615. -Page 27-
  1616.  
  1617. ================================================================================
  1618.  
  1619.                                       .,:lodddddddol:;.                        
  1620.                                    .:dxxxxxkxxddxxxxxddl;..                    
  1621.                                  ,odxxkkxkkxxdddddxkkkkxdo:,''                  
  1622.                                .lollodxdddddollcllloddxxdolc;';                
  1623.                               .ooc:coddooodxkxocccloooooddlc:;''                
  1624.                               ::;;cldxxdddxkkxdl:'.,codxxxdolc;'c,              
  1625.                              .;:oldxkOOkkOOOOOkxdodxkkOOOOOOOkxc'x.            
  1626.                              ;,kOO0oodxkkOOOkkkxxxdollcc::o0Okkx,.              
  1627.                              ,,kO0d..,;::::;;,,''.........c0Okkx;              
  1628.                              .lkO0: .'''cOk;'...'ll,......:0Okkd;              
  1629.                               ckOk. ..''l0O;....cKKo......:OOkko.              
  1630.                                .,'  ..''..................'oxOk:.              
  1631.                                 ..  ..'..:::::::;;;ck........k0xdlc;..          
  1632.    ....     ...                 .. ..'''.cl:...  .;d,.......'0KK0Oxoodl;.      
  1633.    '',,'.   ...'.                ,,,,,,,,',cc::::c;.......'':O000OOkkkkxd.      
  1634.   .',,,,.  ...'''                 .;:ccccc:::::::;;;;;;;;;:lO0Okxxdxxxxx,      
  1635.  .',,,;,.. ...''.                    ,,:looooooolllllllodxkOOOOOOOdddooc;,'..  
  1636.  '',,;;,''...''.                .'',,;;;::::cc::c:ccc::oddxkkkkOOkkxxxxxxxxxdoo.
  1637.  .,,,,,,;,,..',..;.             ;llllllllooooollllllllcccc:cccclkkkkxxxxxxxxxxc
  1638.   ..',';;,;;;,,,,dx'        .'',:lcc'''';lcc;,,,;,,,,,;;;;::::::xkkkxxxxxxxxxo  
  1639.       ...;ccc:;cddxo:.......;::::xod:..;doxl;,,;;,','''''''''...lkkkkxxxxxxxx.  
  1640.          .ddxxxkxkkkxo::xkOdlccccxkOOcl0Oxd;;,,;:,',,,:lloooc:,':kkkxxxxxxxx'  
  1641.           'dkkkkkkkkkOkxk0Oolccccc0kx0OxkO;;,,,;;;';;okxxddxxdl;;xkkxxxxxxx:    
  1642.            .ckOkkkkkkOOOOKkolcccccxOOOkdxc;;,,,,;:,:lkxoolcoodoc;;dkxxxxxxo    
  1643.              ,xOOkkkkkOO0Kdllccc::ckkdxdl,,,,,,,,;,coOdlllcllloc:;:kxxxxxd.    
  1644.                ckOOkkkOO00llcc::;;,okoxo,,,,,,,,,;,coOxllcccccll:;,dxxxxx'      
  1645.                 .ckOkkkOKklc:;;;,,,;xlx;,,,,,,,,,;,:d0kclclccccl:;;lxxxx:      
  1646.                    'cdkOO;,,,:,,,,,,ld:,,,,,',,;;;;:dOO;cllcccclc;;cxxxl        
  1647.                         ..';lo:,,,,,co,,,,,,',,;;;::xO0::llcccclc;::xxd.        
  1648.                         .''lddl,,,,,ll,,,,,,',,;;;::xO0ooddlloclc:::ox.        
  1649.                         ,::cdolcc,,,o:,,;llc:::::::ckkdddxdddollccood;          
  1650.                         :,,'l'',l,,,o;,,ll:::clllx:cdodxdddollllodxdl          
  1651.                        .;:::c::c:,,,o,,,llcc:,''';,cdxxxdlclooddxxdo            
  1652.                        ...''''''''''o',,,,'....''....','cxdddxxxdlc.            
  1653.                       ....''''''''',o''''...,,,;::'.. ...;xxxxdl;,'            
  1654.                       .,,,,,''''''';o''...',,,;;:;.......,xkxl:;,,'            
  1655.                       .;;;;;;;;;:::co;;..',,,;;:,........dkdc;;;;;,            
  1656.                       'l'dkkc,odo';c;;c:'',,;;:;..........;c::::::'            
  1657.                       'c,oxkc;O0k'clc'xKx,',;::c;'........'::::::,              
  1658.                         .cooollll::c:;oxkl;;;:lcok,.......:c:;;;;'              
  1659.                         ',:clooddxxxdloxxxddooolodoc:c;,;;;;::;,,.              
  1660.                        .......''',;:;;llllooddxxkkkkdc:::;;;;;,.                
  1661.                        '''''''''',:',:;,,,,,,,,;;;;:::;;;;;;;;;;.              
  1662.                       .;;;;;;;;;;::;:l,;:;;;;;;;;;;:::;;;;;;;;;;;.              
  1663.                       .:::::::::::c::lccc::o:l::::::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.            
  1664.                        '::cccccccclccllcccoO:kl::::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,.            
  1665.                        .',,,;;;:::cllclo00dkxOklolc:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,.          
  1666.                        ..'''''''',,:odoodxkodlookKKo;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.
  1667.                       ......'''''',:oodxdxkocdlxoloxc;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'
  1668.  
  1669. ================================================================================
  1670. Emmet is The Lego Movie's unlikely hero.  With no creative talent of his own,
  1671. he gets mixed up in the Lego Master Builders' struggle for freedom when he gets
  1672. a red piece stuck to his back, the piece that can foil President Business.  The
  1673. Master Builders now think he's special... and maybe he is!
  1674.  
  1675.  
  1676.  
  1677. -Page 28-
  1678.  
  1679. is no room for individual creativity        which restore to order anything that
  1680. at all.  Entrepreneurship grinds to         deviates from the instructions.  The
  1681. a standstill and the soul is sucked         Micromanagers also capture Master
  1682. out of humanity as one's self-worth         Builders.
  1683. is tied to her value to the state.                        ________
  1684.                                                          |()()()()|
  1685. The Master Builders were the privil-                     |()()()()|
  1686. eged class, as they got to design
  1687. the world, but again, it's only done        Just to let you know, this movie is
  1688. for the state.  The rest of society         also very hilarious.  The humor is
  1689. was to mold the Lego Multiverse into        clean, but written at a very adult
  1690. the image President Business saw            level.  If you enjoy such adult ani-
  1691. fit.                                        mation such as *Regular Show*, you
  1692.               ________                      will enjoy this.  There is plenty of
  1693.              |()()()()|                     pop culture humor, but done in such
  1694.              |()()()()|                     a way that it doesn't date itself so
  1695.                                             quickly.  It's also not obnoxious
  1696. The movie's anti-authoritarian theme        like in *Alladin* or other Disney or
  1697. is presented early in the movie.  As        Dreamworks animations.  You won't
  1698. Emmet wakes up to a typical day in          feel treated like a child.
  1699. Lego City, his universe in the Lego                       ________
  1700. Multiverse, he picks up his list of                      |()()()()|
  1701. instructions.  These are the rules                       |()()()()|
  1702. that all Lego minifigures are to
  1703. live by.  Some mock consumer culture        A live action sequence occurs toward
  1704. such as "buy overpriced coffee".            the end of the movie, and we learn
  1705. Others are general rules to achieve         that the entire plot of the movie is
  1706. conformity without murmuring.               the child playing out the adventure.
  1707.                                             The child's father is played by Will
  1708. Lenin said, "The quickest and easi-         Farrell.  Just a bonus.  Just like
  1709. est way to undermine a culture is           President Business, he becomes frus-
  1710. through its music."  Look at the            trated when the child takes apart
  1711. Western world today and compare it          his sets and rebuilds them into very
  1712. to its music of the last generation         imaginative creations.  The father
  1713. and you'll see how accurate he was.         cannot see the originality of is
  1714. The one song that everyone listens          work; mirroring the conflict Emett
  1715. to in *The Lego Movie* ALL THE TIME         is playing out.  The story becomes
  1716. on the "approved" radio station is,         very allegorical from here on as the
  1717. "Everything Is Awesome".  In 2014,          viewer connects the parallels in all
  1718. you couldn't escape this song.  When        the events thus far.  It's as re-
  1719. I heard it, my family didn't see the        warding as *The Sixth Sense* with a
  1720. movie yet, but already I thought, "I        lot more rewatchability, as you find
  1721. bet that, judging by these lyrics,          all the connections in all the plot
  1722. this is a propaganda song in the mo-        subtleties the next time around.
  1723. vie."  And it was.  The meaning be-
  1724. hind the chorus is apparent:                There's social satire.  One Universe
  1725.                                             called Cloud CuukooLand is a color-
  1726.   ? Everything is awesome ?                 ful anarchist haven where negativity
  1727.   ? Everything is cool when you're          is forbidden.  Its curator Unikitty
  1728.     part of a team ?                        unleashes a barrage of restrictions.
  1729.   ? Everything is awesome ?                 Wyldstyle replies, "you said, 'no',
  1730.   ? When you're living our dream ?          like 100 times."
  1731.                                            
  1732. "Our" refers to President Business          That's it, and it's not preachy!  In
  1733. and his bureaucratic authority.  He         summary, The Lego Movie: satirical,
  1734. even has "micromanagers" working for        pro-creativity, anti-statist, go and
  1735. him: Black AT-ST-looking constructs         see it!  You won't be let down.((L))
  1736.  
  1737.  
  1738.  
  1739. -Page 29-
  1740.  
  1741. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~           ____
  1742.    _-_-                             ,,         ,,                / /  \
  1743.      /,                             ||     _   ||               / / /\ \
  1744.      || __   < \, \\/\\ \\/\\ \\ \\ ||/\  < \, ||/\\     ______/_/ /\_\ \______
  1745.     ~||-  -  /-|| || || || || || || ||_<  /-|| || ||     \.\  __  ______  __  /  
  1746.      ||===||(( || || || || || || || || | (( || || ||      \.\ \/ /    \.\ \/ /
  1747.     ( \_, |  \/\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\/\\ \\,\  \/\\ \\ |/       \_\  /      \_\  /
  1748.  ___                                             _/        /./  \      /./  \
  1749. -   ---___-           |\        ,                         /./ /\ \____/_/ /\ \
  1750.    (' ||         _     \\   ,  ||   ,                    /_/_____  ____  _____\
  1751.   ((  ||  ,._-_ < \,  / \\ \\ =||= \\  /'\\ \\/\\  _-_,        \.\ \/./ /
  1752.  ((   ||   ||   /-|| || || ||  ||  || || || || || ||_.          \.\ \/ /
  1753.   (( //    ||   ( || || || ||  ||  || || || || ||  ~ ||          \_\__/
  1754.     -____- \\,  \/\\  \\/  \\  \\, \\ \\,/  \\ \\ ,-_-
  1755. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  - By Synonymous 1 -  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  1756.  
  1757.  
  1758. * WHAT IS HANNUKAH?                         1) Light Hannukah candles.
  1759.  
  1760. Hannukah (also spelled Channukah) is        The Menorah now has nine candles,
  1761. "The Festival of Lights."  Hannukah         with a "Shammus" candle in the mid-
  1762. is actually a minor holiday in the          dle.  Celebrants light this candle
  1763. Jewish tradition, but prominence for        then use it to light one candle for
  1764. it has grown as it's in the Christ-         each night so far, beginning one the
  1765. mas shopping season and the exchange        right side.  A Hebrew prayer accom-
  1766. of gifts is involved.                       panies the lighting of each candle.
  1767.                                             The candles must burn on their own
  1768. Hannukah's originates during the            for at least 1/2 hour after sunset.
  1769. rule of Antiochus IV, who began to          On Shabbot (Sabbath), candles may
  1770. oppress the Jewish people.  Two fac-        not be blown out, and so must be
  1771. tions united to overthrow Antiochus         able to burn 1/2 hour on their own
  1772. and the Greeks: the Chasidim and a          before they self-extinguiseh, or not
  1773. group under Judah Maccabee and his          be lit at all.
  1774. father.  The Jews wanted to rededi-
  1775. cate their temple by concentrating          2) There is no 2.
  1776. it with oil, but only enough oil
  1777. was required to light the menorah           Although there are no other rituals
  1778. (with only one candle) for one              that go with Hannukah, gift-giving,
  1779. night.  Through a miracle, the one          the dreidel, and music and food are
  1780. day supply lasted eight nights,             also associated with the holiday.
  1781. long enough to produce a new supply
  1782. and so it was the first Hannukah.           * HANNUKAH FOOD
  1783.  
  1784. Every year since then, the Jewish           What else is oil used for?  Frying
  1785. people commemorated the miracle.            food!  And so fried food is part of
  1786. This year, Hannukah begins on De-           the Hannukah feast, to celebrate oil
  1787. cember 7th and lasts until the 14th         in every way!  And the ultimate of
  1788. of December.  Like all Jewish holi-         these fried foods: latkes, or to the
  1789. days, Hannukah begins at sundown of         Gentiles, potato panackes.  highly
  1790. the night before the holiday, so            recommended.  to eat them makes you
  1791. the festivities begin at sundown on         want to be Jewish!  You can find all
  1792. Sunday, the 6th, 2015.  Next year,          kinds of traditional latke recipes
  1793. it begins on Christmas eve and runs         on clearnet.
  1794. until New Year's Day,
  1795.                                             Dairy foods like Blintzes and cheese
  1796. * HANNUKAH TRADITIONS:                      cake are popular, harkening back to
  1797.                                             the story of Judith, who used cheese
  1798.  
  1799.  
  1800.  
  1801. -Page 30-
  1802.  
  1803. l'             'l'              'l'            'l'                                  
  1804. MOlllllll'     lMOllllll'     'lOMOl'          lM0llllllllllllllllllllllllll'
  1805. MMMMMMMMMOl. .lOMMMMMMMMOl.   lMMMMMOlll     'lOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl  
  1806. MMMMMMMMMMMl lMMMMMMMMMMMMl 'lOMMMMMMMMM     lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM0l'  
  1807. MMMMMMMMMMMl lMMMMMMMMMMMMl lMMMMMMMMMMM     lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl  
  1808. lOMMMMMMMMMl 'lOMMMMMMMMMMl lMMMMMMMMMMM     lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl    
  1809.  lMMMMMMMMMl   .lOMMMMMMMMl 'lOMMMMMMMMM     'l0MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOl'  
  1810.  'lOMOlllll.     lMMOlOMMMl   'lOMMMMMOl       'llllllllllllllllllllll0MMM0l'      
  1811.    lMl           lMMl 'lll'     'lOMOl'                               lMMMl  
  1812.  'lOMl         'llll'             lMl            'l'                  lMMMl    
  1813.  lMMMl         lMl              'lll'            lMl                  lMMMl    
  1814.  lMMMl       'lll'            'lll'            'l0Ml                  lMMMl      
  1815.  lMMMl     'lll'            'lOMl              lMMMl                  lMMMl    
  1816.  lMMMl     lMl              lMMMl              lMMMl                  lMMMl    
  1817.  lMMMOl' 'lll.            'lOMOl'              lMMMl                  lMMMl    
  1818.  lMMMMM0lOMOllllllllllllllOMMMl                lMMMl                  lMMMl    
  1819.  lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl                lMMMl                  lMMMl    
  1820.  'lOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl              'lOMMMl                  lMMMl
  1821.    lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl              lMMMMMl                  lMMMl
  1822.    lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOl.              lMMMMMl                  lMMMl
  1823.    lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl                lMMM0l'                  lM0l'
  1824.    'llllllllllllllllllllllll'                'lll'                    'l'    
  1825.        
  1826. ABOVE: Shin                                 Above: Hey    
  1827.                                            
  1828.            .l.                                         'l'                            
  1829.            lMOllllll.                                  lMOllllllll'    
  1830.            lMMMMMMMMOlll.                            'l0MMMMMMMMMMOl'      
  1831.            lMMMMMMMMMMMMl                            lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl    
  1832.            lMMMMMMMMMMMMOl.                          lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl    
  1833.            lMMMMMMMMMMMMOl.                          lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl    
  1834.            lMMMMMMMMMMMMl                            'l0MMMMMMMMMMMMl      
  1835.            .lllOMMMMMMMMl                              'llllllll0MMMl    
  1836.                .llllllOMl                                       'lOMl  
  1837.                       lMl                                         lMl        
  1838.                       lMOl.                                     'lOMl  
  1839.                       lMMMl                                     lMMMl    
  1840.                       lMMMl                                     lMMM0l'      
  1841.                       lMMMl                                     lMMMMMl    
  1842.                       lMMMOl.                                   lMMMMMl    
  1843.          .llllllllllllOMMMMMl                        'llllllllllOMMMMMl
  1844.          lMMMMMMMMMMMMOlOMOl.                      'l0MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl  
  1845.        .lOMMMMMMMMMMMMl lMl                        lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl    
  1846.        lMMMMMMMMMMMMOl. lMl                        lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl    
  1847.        lMMMMMMMMMMMMl   lMl                      'l0MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM0l'
  1848.      .lOMMMMMMMMMMMMl   lMl                      lMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMl  
  1849.      .llllllllllllll.   .l.                      'llllllllllllllllll'  
  1850.                                            
  1851. ABOVE: Gimmel                               ABOVE: Nun
  1852.                                      
  1853. and wine to get the Jews' enemy,            And for jelly doughnut fans, they
  1854. Holoferenes, drunk (the wine made           have their own jelly doughnut con-
  1855. him thirsty).  After treating him to        fection called sufganiyot.  It's
  1856. the gifts, she chopped off his head         part of the fried food category, but
  1857. and they all lived happily ever af-         deserves special mention for obvious
  1858. ter, except for the aforementioned          reasons.  Expect the FDA to ban them
  1859. general and his Babylonian army.            sometime soon.
  1860.  
  1861.  
  1862.  
  1863. -Page 31-
  1864.  
  1865. * HANNUKAH COLORS                           wrapped in gold foil.  Children and
  1866.                                             adults both love this traditional
  1867. The Hannukah colors are blue and            gift.  Naturally, children receive
  1868. white, the colors of the Israeli            the same kinds of gifts that their
  1869. flag.                                       Gentile friends receive on Christ-
  1870.                                             mas.  The gift-giving is a more
  1871. * HANNUKAH GAMES                            modern addition to Hannukah, and was
  1872.                                             done so because of its proximity to
  1873. The dreidel: This beloved game of           Christmas, and to let the children
  1874. chance is popular with children and         anticipate the holiday in a similar
  1875. adults alike.  It's fairly simple           way that Children do at Christmas.
  1876. to play.  A dreidel is like a die
  1877. with four sides.  The fifth side is         HANNUKAH MUSIC
  1878. a handle and the sixth side is a
  1879. point to spin upon.  It's described         It's nearly as diverse as Christmas
  1880. better as a top with four sides.            music.  Here are some standards:
  1881.  
  1882. The dreidel game is a very simple           o Who can retell?  Often very loose-
  1883. gambling game.  Although it's very            ly translated from its original
  1884. innocent, don't let statists know if          Yiddish
  1885. you're gambling, or they'll shut the        o Hannukah, Oh, Hannukah:  sings
  1886. game down and put you under arrest.           more about the commercial aspects
  1887.                                               of Hannukah and the non-religious
  1888. Everyone starts a game of dreidel             traditions
  1889. with about a dozen quarters each, or        o Rocky Fortress: Scripturally based
  1890. in this economy, pennies, or M & Ms           song.
  1891. each.  After one unit is donated by
  1892. each player into the "pot", players         The novelty music:
  1893. take turns spinning the dreidel and         o "Hannukah Rocks" by Gefelte Joe  
  1894. take an action based on whichever             and the Fish.  I consider it the
  1895. Hebrew letter face it lands upon:             greatest Hannukah song ever!
  1896.                                             o Hannukah Homeboy by Doc Moe She
  1897. o nun: Do nothing.                          o The Hannukah Song by Adam Sandler
  1898. o gimmel: Take all in the pot!              o Maccabeats: A Jewish a cappella
  1899.   (everyone then donates one unit to          group.
  1900.   the pot and play begins anew)
  1901. o hey: Take half the pot, rounded           And that's that Hannukah's all about
  1902.   down to the nearest integer.              Charlie Brown.  And how can I con-
  1903. o shin: put one of your units in the        clude without the latke recipe?
  1904.   pot.
  1905.                                             o 4 potatoes
  1906. See the drawings on the previous            o 1 onion
  1907. page to see the Hebrew symbols.             o 2 eggs
  1908.                                             o up to 4 oz matza flour
  1909. The company *Elf Magic* procudes a          o 1 tsp. baking powder
  1910. plush series called "Hannukah help-         o salt/pepper to your taste
  1911. ers" which help children celebrate          o vegetable oil (of course)
  1912. the traditions.  And in reaction to
  1913. "The Elf on the Shelf, is *The              Shred potatoes.  Dice Onion.  remove
  1914. Mensch on the Bench*.                       excess moisture.  Put in bowl.  Add
  1915.                                             eggs.  Mix.  Gradually add matza un-
  1916.                                             til soft like Play-Doh.  Add baking
  1917. MODERN HANNUKAH CUSTOMS                     powder, salt & pepper.  Flatten by
  1918.                                             hand into 12 patties.  Fry in oil,
  1919. And, of course, there is the gift-          flipping when underside is lightly
  1920. giving: a gift for each day!  The           brown.  Drain on towels.  Enjoy.
  1921. traditional gift is gelt, coins             Makes 12.  Happy Hannukah!     ((L))
  1922.  
  1923.  
  1924.  
  1925. -Page 32-
  1926.  
  1927. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&        o Blue Christmas
  1928.                                               Elvis Presley
  1929. AWESOME CHRISTMAS MUSIC PARTS 1 & 2!
  1930.                                             o The Chipmunk Song
  1931. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&          David Seville/ Alvin and The Chip-
  1932.                                               munks
  1933. What better way to evoke the Christ-
  1934. mas spirit than with music?  This           o The Christmas Song (Chestnuts          
  1935. article will be in two parts: Part 1          Roasting On An Open Fire)
  1936. will feature all-around good Christ-          Nat King Cole (either version)
  1937. mas music, and in part 2 we'll delve
  1938. into Christmas novelty tunes.               o Do You Hear What I Hear?
  1939.                                               Bing Crosby
  1940. In the early days of records, when a
  1941. popular song was written, the song,         o Feliz Navidad
  1942. not the artist, became the hit.  A            José Feliciano
  1943. popular song would be recorded and
  1944. records pressed by different artists        o Frosty The Snowman
  1945. and several versions would be avail-          Gene Autry
  1946. able, often by competing labels.  In
  1947. modern society, this isn't usually          o Have Yourself A Merry Little
  1948. the case.  A song is usually written          Christmas
  1949. with a particular artist in mind, so          Judy Garland
  1950. the listener associates the artist
  1951. with the hit.  When someone says,           o Hark!  The Herald Angels Sing
  1952. "Oops!  I Did It Again", immediately          Nat King Cole
  1953. Britney Spears comes to mind.
  1954.                                             o I'll Be Home For Christmas
  1955. Not so with Christmas music.  They            Bing Crosby
  1956. are considered "standards", and many
  1957. versions of the same song may exist,        o I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
  1958. just like in the early days of vinyl          Jimmy Boyd
  1959. records.  So you may be Christmas
  1960. shopping, hear "Santa Baby" begin to        o It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like
  1961. play, and you expect Eartha Kitt,             Christmas
  1962. but to your disappointment, when the          Perry Como and The Fountaine
  1963. vocals begin, you get Madonna.                Singers
  1964.  
  1965. LiberTORian wants to begin part 1           o It's Not The Presents Under The
  1966. with a guide to the "good" versions           Tree (It's Your Presence Right
  1967. of our Christmas favorites, so you            Here Next To Me) (Don't know how
  1968. can seek out the best artist without          they fit all that on the label)
  1969. being disappointed.  These are the            Eva Cassidy
  1970. versions that you WANT to hear.  At
  1971. the first note, you recognize it and        o It's The most Wonderful Time Of  
  1972. say, "Yes!"  The definitive (even if          The Year
  1973. not the original) iconic version!             Andy Williams
  1974.  
  1975. o A Holly Jolly Christmas                   o Jingle Bell Rock
  1976.   Burl Ives                                   Bobby Helms
  1977.  
  1978. o All I Want For Christmas Is You           o Jingle Bells
  1979.   Mariah Carey                                Perry Como
  1980.  
  1981. o Baby's First Christmas                    o Last Christmas
  1982.   Connie Francis                              Wham!
  1983.  
  1984.  
  1985.  
  1986.  
  1987. -Page 33-
  1988.  
  1989. o The Little Drummer Boy                    standards are worthy renditions of
  1990.   Harry Simone Chorale & Orchestra          favorites; some are alternate "de-
  1991.                                             finitive" versions in their own
  1992. o Little Saint Nick                         right.
  1993.   Beach Boys
  1994.                                             o The Christmas Song (Chestnuts
  1995. o Merry Christmas, Baby                       Roasting On An Open Fire)
  1996.   Charles Brown                               Boots Randolph (instrumental)
  1997.  
  1998. o Must Be Santa                             o Deck The Halls
  1999.   Mitch Miller & His Orchestra                Mannheim Steamroller (instru-
  2000.                                               mental)
  2001. o No More Toymakers To The King
  2002.   Paul Frees                                o Do You Hear What I Hear?
  2003.                                               Andy Williams
  2004. o O Tannenbaum (instrumental)
  2005.   Vince Guaraldi                            o Frosty The Snowman
  2006.                                               Jimmy Durante
  2007. o Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
  2008.   Brenda Lee                                o Joy To The World
  2009.                                               Whitney Houston
  2010. o Run Ruldolph Run
  2011.   Chuck Berry                               o Last Christmas
  2012.                                               Taylor Swift
  2013. o Santa Baby
  2014.   Eartha Kitt with Henri Rene and his       o Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It
  2015.   Orchestra                                   Snow
  2016.                                               Jessica Simpson
  2017. o Sleigh Ride (vocal)                      
  2018.   Johnny Mathis                             o Little Drummer Boy
  2019.                                               Mannheim Steamroller (instru-
  2020. o We Need A Little Christmas                  mental)
  2021.   Angela Lansbury, Frankie Michaels,
  2022.   Jane Cornell, Sab Shimono                 o Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer
  2023.                                               Gene Autry
  2024. o What Christmas Means To Me
  2025.   Stevie Wonder                             o Silent Night, Holy Night
  2026.                                               -Dina Washington
  2027. o White Christmas                             -John Darnell Orchestra (instru-
  2028.   Bing Crosby                                  mental)
  2029.                                               -Mannheim Steamroller (instru-
  2030. o You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch                mental)
  2031.   Boris Karloff
  2032.                                             o Silver Bells
  2033. This isn't a complete list, natur-            Earl Grant
  2034. ally, but maybe more next year!  It
  2035. is a good star, and if you collect          o White Christmas
  2036. this all into a single playlist, you          Drifters
  2037. should have enough to last you for
  2038. an entire Christmas party.  If you          o Winter Wonderland
  2039. put it on repeat, by the time every-          -Tony Bennett
  2040. one is drunk, you won't even notice           -Aretha Frankin
  2041. you're listening to the same songs
  2042. again!                                      o You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
  2043.                                               Carnival Of Shame
  2044. The next list is not the definitive
  2045. list, but the versions of these             (article continues...)
  2046.  
  2047.  
  2048.  
  2049. -Page 34-
  2050.  
  2051. And a late entry...                         o A Terrorist Christmas
  2052.                                               James & King
  2053. o Baby, It's Cold Outside
  2054.   Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett                o Porky Pig singe Blue Christmas
  2055.                                               John-Boy and Billy
  2056. Then there are butcherings of the
  2057. cherished classic Christmas songs           o Careless Santa
  2058. that you wish you could unhear.  The          Mono Puff
  2059. singers of these versions should be
  2060. put on trial for Grinchiness:               o Santa Claus Is Watching You
  2061.                                               Ray Stevens
  2062. o Jingle Bells
  2063.   Barbra Streisand                          o Xmas At K-Mart
  2064.                                               Root Boy Slim & The Sex Change  
  2065. o Santa Baby                                  Band
  2066.   Ashley 1st
  2067.                                             o All I want for Christmas Is My
  2068. As a libertarian, I respect your              Two Front Teeth
  2069. freedom to listen, but you're ulti-         o Happy New Year
  2070. mately responsible to the damage to         o My Birthday Falls on Christmas
  2071. your ears.                                  o Winter
  2072.                                               Spike Jones & His City Slickers
  2073.  
  2074. ????????????????????????????????????        o Christmas Dragnet
  2075.                                             o Green Chri$tma$
  2076. A N D   N O W   F O R   P A R T   2         o Nuttin; For Christmas
  2077.                                               Stan Freberg
  2078. ????????????????????????????????????
  2079.                                             o Santa's Beard
  2080. There are lots of novelty Christmas           They Might Be Giants
  2081. songs.  Some are classics and have
  2082. risen to standard status.                   o A Christmas Song
  2083.                                               Tom Lehrer
  2084. o The Twelve Gifts of Christmas
  2085.   Allan Sherman                             o Christmas Wrapping
  2086.                                               The Waitresses
  2087. o The Twelve Days of Christmas  
  2088.   Bob & Doug McKenzie (w/ Getty Lee)        o Shouldn't Have Given Him a Gun For
  2089.                                               Christmas
  2090. o The Twelve Pains of Christmas               Wall of Voodoo
  2091.   Bob & Tom Band
  2092.                                             o Christmas At Ground Zero
  2093. o Can't Wish You a Merry Christmas            "Weird Al" Yankovic
  2094. o (and many other songs)
  2095.   Capitol Steps                             Finally, avoid these songs at all
  2096.                                             costs:
  2097. o Santa Claus and His Old Lady
  2098.  Cheech & Chong                             o Dominick The Donkey
  2099.                                             o Simply Having A Wonderful Christ-
  2100. o Rusty Chevrolet                             mas Time
  2101.   Da Yoopers                                o Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
  2102.                                             o I Want a Hippopotamus For Christ-
  2103. o Christmas Is Coming Twice This Year         mas
  2104. o Gridlock Christmas                        o I Still Believe in Father Christ-
  2105.   The Hollytones                              mas
  2106.                                             o Jingle My Bells by Strip Mind
  2107.                                             o The Christmas Shoes          ((L))
  2108.  
  2109.  
  2110.  
  2111. -Page 35-
  2112.  
  2113. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&              O====================O
  2114.  
  2115.     CLASSIC .TXT FILE OF THE DAY                     * nitexmas.txt *
  2116.  
  2117. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&              O====================O
  2118.  
  2119.  
  2120. JARGON-FILLED NIGHT BEFORE                  bureaucrats & political correctness
  2121. CHRISTMAS                                   policemen will love!  Unsure of the
  2122.                                             time it was written, but no later
  2123. Here's one rendition of "'Twas The          than 2000.  In its original text, as
  2124. Night Before Christmas" that all the        as is, including misspellings!
  2125.  
  2126. ................................................................................
  2127.  
  2128.                 TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
  2129.  
  2130.  
  2131.     Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the
  2132. annual yuletide celebration.  And throughout our place of residence,
  2133. kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this
  2134. potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as mus
  2135. musclus.  Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of
  2136. the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory
  2137. pleasure regarding an eminent visitation from an eccentric
  2138. philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific
  2139. title of St. Nicholas.
  2140.  
  2141.     The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their
  2142. respective accommo- dations of repose, were experiencing subconscious
  2143. visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving
  2144. rhythmically through their cerebrums.  My conjugal partner and I,
  2145. attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous
  2146. advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior
  2147. portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance
  2148. that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of repose
  2149. for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof.
  2150.  
  2151.     Fastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers
  2152. sealing this fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance
  2153. without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline
  2154. precipitation, might be said to rival that of the solar meridian
  2155. itself; thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to
  2156. behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by eight
  2157. diminutive specimens of the genus ragifer.  Piloted by a minuscule
  2158. aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly
  2159. apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated caller. With his
  2160. ungulate motive power traveling at what may have been more vertigiuous
  2161. velocity than patriotionalar predators, he vodiferated loudly,
  2162. exuelled breath musically through labial sounds, and addressed each of
  2163. the octet by his or her respected cognomen; Now Dasher, now Dancer, et
  2164. al.  Guiding them to the uppermost exterior level of our abode,
  2165. through which structured could readily distinguish the concatenations
  2166. of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.
  2167.  
  2168.     As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was
  2169. performing a 180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved,
  2170.  
  2171.  
  2172.  
  2173. -Page 36-
  2174.  
  2175. with utmost celerity in animal pelts soiled by the ebon residue from
  2176. oxidations of carbonifbrous fuels which had accumulated on the walls
  2177. thereof.  His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to
  2178. the planthora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a
  2179. commodious cloth receptacle.
  2180.  
  2181.     His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his
  2182. submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of exgaging
  2183. amiability.  The capillaries of his molar regions and nasal
  2184. appurtenance were engorged with blood which suffused the subcutaneous
  2185. layers, the former approximating the coloration of Albion's floral
  2186. embelem, the latter that of the Prunus avium, or sweet cherry. His
  2187. amusing sub- and super- alabials resembled nothing so much as a common
  2188. loop knot, and their amdent hirsute facial adornment appeared like
  2189. small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water.
  2190.  
  2191.     Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smokingpiece whose gray
  2192. fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of
  2193. a decorative seasonal circlet of holly.  His visage was wider than it
  2194. was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal
  2195. region undulated in the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a
  2196. hemisphrical container.  He was, in short, neither more nor less than
  2197. an obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the optical perception of whom
  2198. rendered me visible frolicsome despite every effort to refrain from so
  2199. being.  By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and rotating
  2200. his head slightly to one side he indicated that trepidation on my part
  2201. was groundless.
  2202.  
  2203.     Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the
  2204. aforementioned hosiery with various of the aforementioned articles of
  2205. merchandise extracted from his aforementioned previously dorsally
  2206. transported cloth receptacle.  Upon completion of his task, he
  2207. executed an abrupt aboutface, placed a singular manual digit in
  2208. lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium
  2209. forward in a gesture of leave taking, and forthwith effected his
  2210. egress by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke passage.  He then
  2211. propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance, directed a
  2212. musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the
  2213. antlered quadrupeds among the seed-bearing portions of a common weed.
  2214. But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to
  2215. his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility:
  2216.  
  2217.  
  2218.     ESTATIC YULETIDE TO THE PLANETARY CONSTITUENCY, AND TO THAT
  2219. SELFSAME ASSEMBLAGE, MY SINCEREST WISHES FOR A SALUBRIOUSLY BENEFICIAL
  2220. AND GRATIFYINGLY PLEASURABLE PERIOD BETWEEN SUNSET AND DAWN.
  2221.  
  2222. ................................................................................
  2223.  
  2224. Classic Text File of the Day                         * pc-xmas.txt *
  2225. BONUS FILE
  2226.  
  2227.  
  2228. Here's a gift for everyone, since it        of the same famous story.  This one
  2229. is Christmas, after all.  A second          doesn't have such a bad ending for a
  2230. fclassic .txt file of the day.  An-         politically-correct story.  In its
  2231. other politicially correct retelling        original 72 columns glory!  Enjoy!
  2232.  
  2233.  
  2234.  
  2235. -Page 37-
  2236.  
  2237. A POLITICALLY CORRECT CHRISTMAS
  2238. --------------------------------------------------------
  2239.  
  2240. 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
  2241. How to live in a world that's politically correct?
  2242. His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
  2243. "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
  2244.  
  2245. And labor conditions at the north pole
  2246. Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
  2247. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
  2248. Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
  2249.  
  2250. And equal employment had made it quite clear
  2251. That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
  2252. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
  2253. Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
  2254.  
  2255. The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
  2256. The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
  2257. And people had started to call for the cops
  2258. When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
  2259.  
  2260. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
  2261. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
  2262. And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
  2263. Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
  2264.  
  2265. And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
  2266. Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
  2267. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
  2268. Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
  2269.  
  2270. Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
  2271. Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
  2272. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
  2273. That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
  2274.  
  2275. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
  2276. Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
  2277. Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
  2278. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
  2279.  
  2280. Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
  2281. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
  2282. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
  2283. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
  2284.  
  2285. No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
  2286. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
  2287. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
  2288. Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
  2289.  
  2290. For they raised the hackles of those psychological
  2291. Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
  2292. No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
  2293. Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
  2294.  
  2295.  
  2296.  
  2297. -Page 38-
  2298.  
  2299. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
  2300. And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
  2301. So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
  2302. He just could not figure out what to do next.
  2303.  
  2304. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
  2305. But you've got to be careful with that word today.
  2306. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
  2307. Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
  2308.  
  2309. Something special was needed, a gift that he might
  2310. Give to all without angering the left or the right.
  2311. A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
  2312. Each group of people, every religion;
  2313.  
  2314. Every ethnicity, every hue,
  2315. Everyone, everywhere...even you.
  2316. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
  2317. "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
  2318. ................................................................................
  2319.  
  2320.  
  2321. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&        &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  2322.  
  2323.              B L U R B                        Myths that liberals believe, #12
  2324.  
  2325. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&        &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  2326.  
  2327.  
  2328. During his campaign, Donald Trump           MYTH #12: There were no Muslims
  2329. suggested that all Muslims register         cheering in the streets of New Jer-
  2330. on a federal government database so         sey on 9/11.
  2331. they could be tracked and monitored
  2332. during a terrorist attack or active         FALSE.  Donald Trump made the claim
  2333. terrorist threat.                           that on 9/11, he saw tens of thou-
  2334.                                             sands of Muslims cheering in the
  2335. What the #$%^& is this?!!  Have you         streets.  This is not true.  That's
  2336. ever heard of the First Amendment?          only because he exaggerated the num-
  2337. People have freedom of religion, and        ber.  But there WAS a cheering group
  2338. the government has no right to track        of Muslims in NJ.  
  2339. or in any way intimidate everybody
  2340. of a certain faith.                         The media itself exaggerates numbers
  2341.                                             like a 1990 pro-life rally in DC. It
  2342. Freedom of religion is supposed to          drew half a million but CNN reported
  2343. defend *ALL* religions, not just the        60000. CNN never faces consequences.
  2344. popular ones, unless the entire re-        
  2345. ligion is dedicated to harming              The media, whose motto is, "If we
  2346. others.  Every Muslim isn't a member        didn't print it, it never happened",
  2347. of ISIS.  Is- lam is a religion, but        didn't find the event after review-
  2348. Islamic terrorism is religious AND          ing their archives.  However, an en-
  2349. political in nature.                        emy of the mainstream media, *The
  2350.                                             Wshington Times*, did report it, and
  2351. We must combat terrorism, but let's         and video was discovered to exist.
  2352. not repeat statist measures that            MSM backtracked, saying, "sure, it
  2353. lead to a repeat of FDR's concen-           wasn't tens of thousands, but Trump
  2354. tration camps for all Japanese.((L))        was half-wrong too!"           ((L))
  2355.  
  2356.  
  2357.  
  2358. -Page 39-
  2359.  
  2360. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  2361.  
  2362.     HARD COPY: CHRISTMAS EDITION              - By Synonymous 1 -
  2363.  
  2364. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  2365.  
  2366.  
  2367. THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS                        THE CHRISTMAS SWEATER
  2368.   by JOHN GIBSON                            THE CHRISTMAS SWEATER (illustrated
  2369.                                               children's book)
  2370. John Gibson was a Fox News reporter.        THE IMMORTAL NICHOLAS
  2371. Ten years ago he wrote this book.             by GLENN BECK
  2372. 2005 was the year when the War on
  2373. Christmas really took off.  The ACLU        People have been taught to hate
  2374. and Freedom From Religion Foundation        Glenn Beck.  Most of those who do
  2375. (what a twisted corruption of the           never listened to the program.  You
  2376. First Amendment) have been fighting         may be surprised to find that he is
  2377. public displays of Christmas.  The          a decent human being.  Doing my home
  2378. public school system is busy banning        work, I found that most of the awful
  2379. free Christmas speech.  But in 2005,        things I heard about him were lies
  2380. it really started taking off in the         from statists.  As it turned out, to
  2381. private sector.  The word *Christ-          my surprise, he is very libertarian,
  2382. mas was being sanitized from adver-         not at all the angry conservative
  2383. tising.  Wal*Mart began it, faced           he's made out to be by people who
  2384. backlash, and the next year restored        also probably never actually listen
  2385. the name of the holiday that made           to him.
  2386. all their money.
  2387.                                             Glenn also is an active reader and
  2388. As a libertarian, I don't care what         writer, including Christmas books.
  2389. a business does, but people have the        *The Christmas Sweater* is based on
  2390. rigth to exercise free speech and           a true story in his own childhood.
  2391. call them out if they want to.              It's filled with tragedy and emotion
  2392.                                             but ultimately is a story of true
  2393. John Gibson's book is more relevant         love.  *The Christmas Sweater* was
  2394. than ever this year.  For the first         rewritten as a picture book for
  2395. time ever, a President (Obama) and          children the next year.
  2396. his State Department have stomped
  2397. on free speech by BANNING CHRIST-           Re-tellings of classic stories are
  2398. MAS CARDS TO OUR SOLDIERS FIGHTING          all the rage.  Think of the Broadway
  2399. OVERSEAS.  Our soldiers sacrificing         musical "Wicked", which offers the
  2400. enough already to keep everyone else        backstory of the Wicked Witch of the
  2401. free.  And the reason they must all         West, and all of this type of story
  2402. suffer: so Muslims don't get of-            it inspired.  Glenn Beck's "The Im-
  2403. fended!                                     mortal Nicholas" does the same to
  2404.                                             Santa Claus.
  2405. I'm offended at this criminal in-
  2406. trusion on two First Amendment              *The Immortal Nicholas* explains his
  2407. rights: freedom of religion and             longevity, but completely reinvents
  2408. freedom of speech!  Obama's a bigot.        the character.  Who knew the Jolly
  2409. The War on Christmas is real and it         Red One was such a rugged no-non-
  2410. can be fought.  John Gibson's book          sense fighting machine?  You also
  2411. tells you how.  And why shouldn't           learn historical knowledge along the
  2412. you fight for Christmas?  Who knows         way, like why frankincense is so
  2413. what will be the next decent beloved        rare!  This story is raw, edgy, and
  2414. Amerinan thing the looney statists          yet touching all at once!  So enjoy
  2415. will try to erradicate?                     these titles; they make for great
  2416.                                             Christmas reading!             ((L))
  2417.  
  2418.  
  2419.  
  2420. -Page 40-
  2421.  
  2422.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  2423. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~             ~~~~~              ~~~~~
  2424. D.N.S.   L O O K U P    F A I L E D             ~~~  By Synonymous 1.  ~~~
  2425. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~             ~~~~~              ~~~~~
  2426.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                  ~~~~~~~~oo~~~~~~~~
  2427.                  /\                                         /\
  2428.  
  2429. How are we doing with out logos, art        I'm not saying this sarcastically.
  2430. and all the little blandishments de- __A__  Evil loses in the end, even if it
  2431. signed to make each issue of Liber-  \ - /  takes a time scale too large for our
  2432. TORian a bit more pleasant to view?  /_-_\  scope.  Statists think of the long
  2433. We've been constructing plenty more    V    run; it took them 100 years to turn
  2434. of our own logos for featured arti-         America into the wreck that it now
  2435. cles.  The Kwanzaa logo and The Lego  __A__ finds itself in.  Most of us think
  2436. Movie logo were in-house productions  \ - / about one year in the future.  That
  2437. as was much of the Christmas art.  A  /_-_\ demonstrates persistence.  Most of
  2438. lot of it is noodling around, just      V   us don't live to be 100, but the
  2439. trying to create ASCII art to see if        universe will exist 10000 years from
  2440. any of it looks decent.  We'll leave __A__  now, 1 million years from now, etc.
  2441. it for you to judge.                 \ - /  And insignificant as we may seem on
  2442.                                      /_-_\  a three-dimensional scale, there is
  2443.                   d                    V    something special about you, me, the
  2444.                  _I_                        members of ISIS, and everyone.  Each
  2445.                 |   |                 __A__ individual life is unique and has a
  2446.      b  d  b  d |   |  d  b  b d      \ - / purpose.  It's up to you to do that.
  2447.      ,  . .   , |   |  ,  ,  ' .      /_-_\ We each must figure out what that is
  2448.     [] [] [] [] |___| [] [] [] []       V   but I know one thing for sure: it's
  2449.     == == == == ===== == == == ==           not to wear full body armor and go
  2450.     || || || ||__| |__|| || || ||           into an assisted living facility in
  2451.     \\ \\ \\_\___   ___/_// // //           San Bernardino, California, where
  2452.      \\ \\_\_____   _____/_// //            chartiible people help the infermed
  2453.       \\_\_______   _______/_//             aged, who are among the weakest
  2454.        \_________   _________/              among us, except the unborn.  Other
  2455.               ___|=|___                     than evil terrorists or Planned
  2456.              /_________\                    Parenthood, who attacks people this
  2457.             '-----------'                   innocent, this defenseless?
  2458.  
  2459. Here's our attempt at a Menorah.            When you put this and each issue of
  2460.                                       __A__ LiberTORian down, go out and serve
  2461. As I said earlier, things are moving  \ - / your fellow man.  Not just at Chann-
  2462. so quickly.  What a time to stop to   /_-_\ ukah and Christmas- all year around.
  2463. make a Christmas issue.  Evil is on     V  
  2464. the march and doesn't take holidays.        A little homework: terrorism will be
  2465. There was Paris, and now there is an __A__  a critical topic of 2016.  LiberTOR-
  2466. incident in LA which you will know   \ - /  ian isn't enough.  Until we meet
  2467. all about by the time you read this. /_-_\  again, find and listen to Walid
  2468. Within minutes of the shooting, the    V    Phares at GPI Policy Institute at:
  2469. bodies of 14 murdered people in L.A.
  2470. are LITERALLY STILL WARM, and Martin  __A__   -  http://walidphares.com
  2471. O'Malley publicly blames the NRA!     \ - /
  2472. Remain vigilant, but "Keep Calm and   /_-_\ Pay attention to what he says.  Keep
  2473. Carry On".  Evil will always be on      V   up with him daily.  Verify his info.
  2474. us, but God triumphs in the end.  If        
  2475. you're an atheist, don't worry, ei-  __A__  Have a Happy Hannukah, Merry Christ-
  2476. ther.  The universe regulates itself \ - /  mas, and happy New Year.  I think
  2477. in the end.                          /_-_\  next year will bring great tidings.
  2478.                                             - - - E N D    O F    F I L E - - -
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