And fuck my old school was awesome. It was a charter school, meaning that it wasn't part of the district, meaning that it didn't have a set curriculum and could teach in whatever way they felt was best. The teachers didn't have a fucking manual like they do here. They were just themselves and every class was interesting and fun. Fuck, in history we'd do some visual presentation at least twice a week, sometimes we dressed up and reenacted shit and sometimes we made projects as if we were in that time period. We acted out stories from what we were learning. We made the crow masks that doctor's used during the black plague. We learned about the world and all of its history. Fucking here it's just civics and US history, literally the most boring part of history was US history. In math, we'd make projects to visualize problems and we'd learn not how to solve a specific problem but we'd essentially learn to program with math. In science, we did projects, labs, and we watched documentaries, while we do labs here today. It's not the same, no one pays attention and no one is interested because the teachers have to follow their boring script and its never interesting. In English, we'd write poems and reenact scenes from the book we were reading and we'd read the book and answer questions as a class, not individually. None of these classes ever limited us as to what we could do and we were always encouraged to ask questions and when we had to do a project, we could do it in whatever way we seemed most creatively fit, wether it be poster, digital design, or even a goddamn Minecraft world (which I did do, once to model an entire plant cell, and once to make a Minecraft reenactment of a book we were reading. We never had a singular textbook and we were never required to carry more than a singular binder with us. We used computers not for testing but for researching and learning and not in the way they do here. We were essentially given free reign over the internet as long as we had learned something. The teachers were interactive and fun and they'd talk to you not as a student but as a friend. Here they're fucking robots and they follow a set script and they talk down to you as if they are superior to you. And this whole situation bugs me and I want to escape and run back to LA, in my tiny little apartment in the corner of a deadend road covered by trees. And to my tiny school no larger than a daycare in the middle of a residential zone, next to LA Fitness and a sperm bank (and awesomenessTV HQ). And I just want to run away back to the life I had before, before I lost my best friend, before I was placed in this environment I despise. The only teacher here who I like is my science teacher because she understands how boring school is and she understands that it can be fixed but she cant do anything about it and I feel for her, trapped in that prison teaching the same thing over and over to have students fail your end of course test because you can't teach the way you want and America needs to fix their country and they need to just stop everything they're trying to do to progress and fix every problem they have, then they can focus on education and on healthcare and I'm crying because I can't take it here anymore and my muscles are tensing up and I can't breathe because I just feel like dying but I don't want to kill myself and I've basically typed up a whole essay I'm so sorry