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a guest Aug 6th, 2012 264 Never
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  1. CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█
  2.  
  3. Item #: SCP-steve-J
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  5. Object Class: steve
  6.  
  7. Special Containment Procedures: SCP-steve-J is to be kept in a steve-lined containment chamber located in steveing ham palace, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than steve steves armed with stephens.
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  9. In the event that SCP-steve-J ever begins stevefying its steven, dr. steve is to steveificate SCP-steve-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force steve-7 (''the steves'') is to be dispatched to SCP-steve-J's last known location.
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  11. Description: SCP-steve-J is a stevish steveolot. Like most members of its species, it is able to steving stevers, and regularly eats twice its own weight in steve each day.
  12.  
  13. SCP-steve-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with STEVES, which causes it to turn into steve. Whenever this happens, all stevependix within a 6 kilometer radius will begin to stefomificate uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.
  14.  
  15. In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to steve mcsteve. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-steve-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.
  16.  
  17. Recovery Log: SCP-steve-J was first located in stevevill where the the steving steves were using it in order to steve the steves . Thankfully, Mobile Task Force steve-7 (''the steves'') was able to recover the object with only 4555 civilian casualties.
  18.  
  19. Addendum: Test Log steve-1
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  21. Dr. stive: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr stive, and I am about to test SCP-steve's reaction to steve. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr steve?
  22. Dr. steve: Yes sir, ready to begin test.
  23.  
  24. Dr. stive: Excellent! I am now introducing the steve to steve... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.
  25.  
  26. Dr. steve: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.
  27.  
  28. stive: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN steve! IT'S GOT MEIN steve! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
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  30. END LOG
  31.  
  32. In light of incident steve-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█
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