You are Tritus McConnors, a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a
 pouch of gold and a small dagger. You are awakened by one of your servants who
 tells you that your keep is under attack. You look out the window and see hordes
 of orcs pouring into the city. They are well-armed with axes, swords, spears,
 bows and arrows
> Command army to defend keep

You order your troops to hold the line as best they can. The orcs do not know
 what hit them. A few of them attempt to flee but most remain where they are.

"Hold!" you shout and the soldiers obey.

The orcs begin to pour through the gates
> Send diplomatic letter to orc leader

You write a letter to the orc leader explaining that you will not allow his people
 to be slaughtered and that he should surrender peacefully.
He writes back thanking you for your letter and says that he has no intention
 on doing so
> Assassinate orc leader

You find out that the orc leader is planning an attack on the city of Klyton.
 He sends word to him that if he attacks, then he will personally lead the charge.
You go to the orc camp and kill him before he can make it to the city
> Retrieve bounty

You recover the money from the dead orc and give it to the messenger who took
 it from you. He thanks you and leaves with the money.
> go home

You return to your own home and spend some time relaxing. When night comes, you
 retire to bed and sleep well
> wake up

You awaken to find that the messenger has returned. He tells you that the orc
 leader has been killed by one of your men. You are furious at this news and
 rush to the city of Klyton to confront the man who did this to you
> find the killer

You head to the orc camp and find the orc who murdered the orc leader. He was
 a young man named Drol. He was caught stealing food from the kitchens when the
 orc leader came looking for him. He claims that he thought the orc would just
 beat him up or something
> Reward him for saving the keep

You tell him that he saved the keep and gives him a sack full of coins
> hire orc as bodyguard

You decide to pay him a monthly salary of 500 gold pieces. He accepts this offer
 and stays at the Keep until he earns enough to buy his own house
> invite Drol for Thanksgiving

You invite Drol to dinner and he happily accepts
> romance Drol

After several months of dating, you finally get married! Your wedding day is
 a grand affair, with all the usual trappings of nobility. However, things don't
 quite work out as planned..
> attend wedding

As you enter the church, you see Drol waiting outside. He looks like he's ready
 to puke. You explain that you're expecting your bride and she seems surprised
 that you've invited her to the wedding
> comfort Drol

You hug him and say "I'm sorry about earlier". He hugs you back and says "It's
 okay... I'll take care of everything".
> Kiss Drol

You kiss him and he smiles. You both embrace and kiss each other passionately.
 You feel like you could explode from happiness. This is the happiest you've
 ever felt in your entire life
> Marry Drol

You walk down the aisle and say "I do"
> Live happily ever after

Years pass...
You are now a very rich man and enjoy many pleasures. One such pleasure is having
 *** with Drol every morning. It is only natural that you want to continue having
 *** with him. Unfortunately, he has become infertile due to his old age
> introduce toys into the bedroom

You decide to start playing with Drol's  again. You put a bunch of different
 objects in his  and eventually you end up making a giant ***** out of various
 objects. You play with it for hours and eventually you ejaculate inside it