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Edgessassinventure

Bigwood Apr 30th, 2016 90 Never
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  1. [22:47:52] <Giantree> You're a spy/assassin (they're treated as the same thing and one of those lines of work inevitably ends up turning into the other anyway) under the employ of the Acaian government, which is a democracy wherein a lot of fat greedy merchants born into political families scream at each other and occasionally have 26-hour-long filibusters where they read off of a phone book and their grandmother's cookie recipe so that the other members can't pass a bill they don't like.  However, this council is located inside an old castle that has existed since long ago, where there was actually a royal family, and to honor the royalty of ages long past many things in the country still have 'Royal' in their name, like 'Royal Pegasus Corps.'  Fortunately being an assassin they don't call you 'Royal Assassin Corps' or anything because that would sort of give you away.  Like, what are you gonna do, go into town and slit someone's throat while presenting a badge and going 'yo it's ok I'm RAC?'  Nah, you're officially called 'intelligence' or something.  However, despite your experience and competency(?), you're not the head of your division or even the best agent among your peers.  Just a really good one.  And your direct superior is a man named Commander Nix, who would look exactly like Volke if I had less shame than I actually do, but since I do, he's just a LITTLE bit scraggly, maybe has a ponytail too.  Oh shit he's Luka from Bayonetta, drawing him now.  No though, despite his appearance, he's extremely good at his job and let's just say the last time one of your co-workers pissed him off, you had one less co-worker.
  2. [22:48:46] <Giantree> That said, a messenger told you this morning that you were summoned to his office, where he had a special, individual mission for you to undertake.
  3. [22:50:42] <Giantree> Assuming you don't take this time to decide to immediately defect and fly on a wyvern to pegasus to Sirrolant where you ignore the entire plot and join the first group of PCs instead (and if you did that there would conveniently happen to be a few hundred ballistae just lyin' around on the way there), you arrive at his office, and the man himself is there, lazily sitting in a chair.  It might even be a spinning chair, one of those fancy new furniture objects that was imported from Sirrolant before the war started.  Goes without saying, imports aren't really happening that much right now.  And I guess he has an owl in one of those tiny circular cages too because that sounds like something this guy would do.
  4. [22:50:52] <Giantree> A regular owl, not a giant owl with a man's head.  Fortunately.
  5. [22:58:58] <Vena> She assumes she's competent. ...And she's, uh, got the killin to show for it, that's for sure. ...As well as the ability to discern friend from foe, so there haven't been any accidents! She's always sure to make sure there's no accidents. The silence of her kills is questionable sometimes, but damned if she isn't good at killing blows. It always sticks! That said, not
  6. [22:58:58] <Vena> being the best means that getting a mission from the best (he's the best, she likes how he does, perhaps slightly creepily more so AFTER the 'disappearance' incident which might give her the notion of being a suck-up but it's really actual bonuses to respect) is sort of weird. Still, she's not questioning it, and here she is. Let's keep it...as professional as I know how to write I guess. Auu. "Greetings, Commander Nix. You called about a special mission?"
  7. [23:01:19] <Giantree> "Prompt. I like it."  The older - well older than you at least - man swivels around in his chair; he was kicking back before you came in.  His new position involves his elbows on the desk, head resting in his hands.  There are a few stray hairs on his chin, but small ones.  "That's right.   This one will be a little bit... different from what you're used to, so I decided it'd be best to give a special briefing first."
  8. [23:02:16] <Giantree> "Have a seat."  Although he's a bit aloof sometimes, the commander isn't so sneaky that he'd do something like booby-trap the chairs of his own subordinates, in case you were wondering.  So there's probably somewhere to sit down across from him, and it's clear that he wouldn't have even suggested that if it weren't going to be a long explanation.
  9. [23:03:39] <Giantree> Oh, and I guess come to think of it, you're probably called 'intelligence' with regards to official government documentation and such, but the unit you're a part of is REALLY more like a Special Forces unit with the goal of, obviously, espionage and subterfuge.  And assassination.  Duh.  Meaning you're basically like the cop from Big Momma's House before finding out he was going to put on a fat suit and pretend to be an old black woman to bust a mafia.
  10. [23:05:13] <Vena> I mean, considering a lot of politicians (like shit, probably more here, since dragons and their treasure hoarding) are secretly dragons, there's probably tons of people surviving blows that should have been fatal. Sometimes you just have to be sure it sticks. Sometimes Vena's there to make sure it does. ...That said, man, she's getting something that needs an explanation.
  11. [23:05:13] <Vena> This better pay well. "Fair enough." She sits, and is at attention!
  12. [23:07:29] <Giantree> "I shouldn't have to tell you this, but everything you're going to learn is strictly confidential.  Not a word of it leaves this room; anything that does will have to be considered treason."  Putting on a snarky grin, the man shrugs.  "Of course, if I thought you'd leak, I wouldn't have trusted you with this in the first place.  So nothing to worry about, eh?"
  13. [23:08:27] <Giantree> He puts on his serious face.  "First of all, I'll dissuade any doubts you have by letting you know that this will pay well.  Extremely so.  And the danger's scaled to match."
  14. [23:11:01] <Vena> She grins--she's not wearing the mask at a time like this, so you can actually see that. "Yeah, wouldn't get far in this business if you blabbed." ...And now to serious face, so she follows suit. The fun starts here, but man, is that fun serious. "...I figured as much. Suppose it has to do with the war that just cropped up?"
  15. [23:11:52] <Giantree> "Not far off from that, yeah.  As is written in our history books, taught in schools, and known by all the people of the land, Sir Rolant was a man who saved the world from the dragons five hundred eighty-eight years ago, led the charge against the beasts, and then died a hero, right?"
  16. [23:12:23] <Giantree> "Wrong."  He snaps his fingers and leans back in the chair before waiting for an answer.  "All of that is a lie.  He's still alive."
  17. [23:15:52] <Giantree> "Even I don't know all the details, but it had something to do with resting for a few hundred years to regain his power or something and disguising himself.  Meaning, we have no information to give you about what he'll look like, but as you might have guessed, somebody higher-up - a LOT of somebodies as a matter of fact - happen to want his long life to come to an end, by whatever means necessary."
  18. [23:18:36] <Vena> "...Personally, I thought some of that was hogwash considering that one of their kings turned out to be a dragon anyway. ...But, well, that's a bit more than I was expecting. The 'hero' was a dragon all along, how peculiar." He wouldn't pull an elaborate joke, so he's serious. She finds it a bit surprising, but she's seen some shit, so she only shows moderate surprise!
  19. [23:18:36] <Vena> ...And a grin. "...I do like the sound of the job, though."
  20. [23:19:41] <Giantree> Nix srsfaces again, leaning forward.  "Now we don't know exactly what he's capable of, only that he's not human.  And to live that long, there must be a gimmick to him.  The first thing to assume is that he's a dragon," he nods at you already having caught on to the idea, "but we don't have any sources to confirm that, so try not to make baseless guesses on that front if you can help it.  Also, I don't want to lose one of my best agents to this, so if you fail and your life is in danger, get out immediately.  Usually we say failure isn't tolerated, but this is one exception I'll make because of how many unknown factors are involved."
  21. [23:20:37] <Giantree> "And if the job were just that it'd be easy-peasy, eh?"  He grins like he's your drinking buddy instead of your boss.  "No, of course not.  There's a catch."
  22. [23:21:30] <Giantree> "Sir Rolant expects people to be after his life, and has probably skillfully evaded or repelled every single one of them in the past.  So you won't be undertaking this mission as an assassin, but rather, a bodyguard."
  23. [23:24:21] <Giantree> shit i have much better bgm for this actually
  24. [23:26:21] <Vena> this is my jam
  25. [23:28:59] <Giantree> "Not for him, of course.  That'd make it too simple."  He clears his throat.  "You'll be escorting an Acaian noble north - more than likely through the combat zone - where she claims she's going to meet with him personally.  We haven't verified her claims and have no means to do so, so report back immediately if any of this turns out to be deception.  However, I'm going through with this briefing because I don't believe it is- she's sort of... out there."
  26. [23:31:18] <Vena> She takes a moment to respond. ...She does so in a faux-confused manner. "...Man, I could take everything else, but 'get out immediately'? That's the weirdest thing I've heard yet." ...And back to serious. "...Makes me have to ask why you're not sending your very best for a mission like this. But, I can hardly complain. It's far too interesting to pass up now. If it turns out to be deception, I'll honestly be disappointed."
  27. [23:33:08] <Giantree> "I'll be frank with you, the lack of verification is the whole reason.  Worst-case scenario it could be a prank... no, ACTUAL worst-case it could be a plan to draw out our agents and kill them one-by-one to exhaust any ammunition we may have.  We're not sure.  But I trust your performance, and think you can pull it off."
  28. [23:33:19] <Giantree> "So."  Nix leans forward again.  "Any questions?"
  29. [23:41:41] <Vena> just a prank bro "...So if I've got all this right. My mission is to assassinate the 'hero' that 'stopped the dragon invasion', who is actually an ancient and most certainly powerful dragon that's gotten wise to the idea of assassins and likely has mythical strength. To get around this, I'm to escort an Acaian noble though a combat zone to meet with him, since apparently
  30. [23:41:41] <Vena> she knows where he is."
  31. [23:42:03] <Giantree> "Yes."
  32. [23:42:16] <Giantree> Completely straightfaced deadpan.
  33. [23:43:41] <Giantree> "Keep in mind, everything we know about him is speculation.  He might just be supernaturally lucky.  He might not even be a dragon, but a man who drank a sacred elixir that made him immortal.  We're just not sure.  So your tertiary mission, after the assassination and bodyguard work, is to at the very least, ascertain what you can about him.  If you can't kill him, report back what you find out, because as things stand we know NOTHING."
  34. [23:44:31] <Giantree> "In the highly likely case that he comes to play a part in the war, even if indirectly, we don't want our enemy to be an unknown factor that we have no idea how to fight against.  Does that make more sense?"
  35. [23:45:40] <Giantree> "On another note, a little birdie," he looks up at his owl, who looks back and hoots, "told me that the four God-Generals of the Sirrolantean Army may be aware of him too.  In fact, they may just receive orders directly from him.  Which, as I don't even need to say by now, isn't good for us."
  36. [23:47:36] <Vena> "...And the God-Generals.  With what we know and what we're assuming, I sound like the protagonist in some book now. The way things are going, I think I'm going to have to utilize the power of friendship to come out on top here. ...Speaking of which, do you have any particular opinions on people that somehow end up tagging along on this unorthodox, secret mission?" Well, might as well embrace it.
  37. [23:49:24] <Giantree> "No.  And that's the fun part, I'd imagine." He smiles. "You're authorized to do and say anything that a bodyguard would.  Not the secret details of the target, obviously, but how you're escorting the little miss to meet with somebody, and you may accept any help you get."
  38. [23:50:06] <Giantree> "Engage in or flee from combat at your own discretion.  Preferably those that wouldn't put your 'client' in danger, but some squabbles here and there are part of the job description."
  39. [23:56:38] <Vena> ...Wait a second, that means the job includes the murder of any enemy soldiers in the area, and there's a lot, and doing so isn't 'making the job messy'. Fuck yeah. "...This just keeps getting better. Hopefully I make good company, I can only assume we're going to need all the help we can get. I suppose the only question left...is if you actually have a number for how much
  40. [23:56:38] <Vena> this pays. Honestly curious now. Just how many digits does it take for someone to give the order of assassinating a mythical figure?" Legit curious.
  41. [23:57:19] <Giantree> "Your client is a high noble."  You practically see dollar signs in his eyes.
  42. [23:57:39] <Giantree> "Let's just say if everything goes well, it's enough to retire and live a happy life on."
  43. [00:00:50] <Vena> "I'll take it. Honestly, I wasn't considering the idea of stopping even after I got a safe amount of funds...but man. I don't think you can top a kill order for Sir Rolant. That's the highest note I can fathom. No further questions."
  44. [00:01:20] <Giantree> "Understood."  He gives a nod of affirmation.  "Dismissed."
  45. [00:01:27] <Giantree> "Oh, but... one more thing."
  46. [00:02:09] <Giantree> "The client herself is here in the castle, in the lobby.  You should be able to find her there- get chummy before it all starts, you get me?"
  47. [00:02:35] <Giantree> "At least, let her know you're the one assigned to the job.  I don't think she's too fond of waiting."
  48. [00:02:45] <Giantree> "~Nobles~."
  49. [00:02:53] <Giantree> The owl laughs.  Nix doesn't for some reason.
  50. [00:06:28] <Vena> Getting called over for one more thing AFTER being dismissed? Man, that does catch her off guard. "Yeah, makes sense. Can't be all silent, my mask'll scare her. I'll be sure not to scare her more than the battlefield!" She can get scarier than a battlefield. ...And since this person isn't fond of waiting, Vena starts to walk out! "I'll come back eventually, try to look
  51. [00:06:29] <Vena> forward to it!"
  52. [00:08:59] <Giantree> "I hope so."  You exit the room and presumably make your way to the location he mentioned.  Outside of your earshot, Commander Nix leans back againn, and turns to the caged bird.  Yawning and stretching, he stands up and opens the cage.  "You know what to do, little owl," he says to the bird.  "Show your worth."
  53. [00:09:03] <Giantree> WHOOSH
  54. [00:11:35] <Giantree> In the waiting lobby of the castle, which at one point was for the audience chamber but is now used by bureaucrats and angry nobles when they feel like screaming at their government because of something they don't like, there is only one person at this time of day.  A woman who looks to be in possibly her early 20s, but you can never tell with nobles and all the cosmetics they like to use.  She's wearing a shoulderless, strapless dress that shows off all her extravagance plainly, and looks bored as all getout, practically grumbling in her seat.  No wait, make that literally grumbling.
  55. [00:13:43] <Giantree> ... wow that phrasing makes it sound like 'shows off her tits' is what i mean by 'extravagance,' goddamn, no, i mean, yes it's kind of cleavage but the dress is ALSO made of silk and other fancy fabrics and covered in jewels and there are jeweled rings and bracelets on her and all kinds of expensive shit
  56. [00:13:50] <Giantree> and the shoes, don't even get me STARTED on the shoes
  57. [00:14:35] <Giantree> Actually no it's not even cleavage, it's up higher than that
  58. [00:14:45] <Giantree> now hurry up and say something before i start dumping paragraphs about breasts
  59. [00:18:04] <Giantree> Oh and she has blue hair, which means she's a Lord.  Everyone in every fire emblem setting knows that.
  60. [00:19:08] <Vena> Nah, it's time to ride a wyvern into a pack of ballista--no, no, she's definitely going there. And...WELP, there she is. Like a sore thumb. ...Shit. Her name. Forgot her NAME. NAMES. AGH. So confused she forgot to ask the NAME OF HER CLIENT. Well, whatever. Normally it doesn't matter, and she's technically a novice bodyguard really. Whatever. She seems frustrated, client comes first. For now. GO RIGHT UP THERE CONFIDENTLY and ADDRESS HER. "...Miss. I would be the bodyguard you requested, and I have arrived." This is weird but she'll do it. All those digits. You can't say no to those digits. God, what were those digits. Almost as mythical as Rolant himself.
  61. [00:23:24] <Giantree> "Oh."  Pouting, the woman looks straight at you, narrowing her (also blue) eyes.  "They gave me a woman.  Okay, I should've figured."  Sighing deeply, the woman stands up from her chair, looking glad to not be sitting down anymore but upset about everything else.  "Country full of beautiful, eligible bachelors, I ask for, and i quote, 'a handsome brown bodyguard,' and they're so shorthanded that they give me you.  You know what, forget it, I don't care anymore.  Name?"
  62. [00:28:51] <Vena> God she's even tsun. She should have read more, she'd be in her element if she just read more books in her spare time. Maybe she'll have to read some more to understand her situation. That said, if she was picked because she was a girl, she'll forgive him. This is pretty rich. "What, am I not handsome enough for you? I could pass as a male with enough practice and bindings, you know. ...And my name is Vena. Pleased to meet you." Too rich. She must savor it.
  63. [00:32:30] <Giantree> "Ooh, and you're even chatty too!  Well, I hope you don't try to talk me up the whole way, I already don't like your personality.  But they know how important I am, so it's not like they'd give somebody who would do a half-assed job.  If they do, the top brass will be hearing about it, and they will NOT be happy," the woman says while waggling a finger.  But then she starts moving.  "Okay.  Let's go.  My name is Sylvera, and I really don't care how you address me, but we're not friends so it would sound weird if you acted like we were on a first-name basis.  Maybe 'Mistress,' or 'My Lady,' or 'Your Highness,' or whatever."
  64. [00:37:54] <Vena> The tsun is so strong here. She can barely even fathom the idea of not teasing her. "Yeah, I'll give you some space if you need it, Sylvera." Nothing about this isn't weird to begin with. LET'S GO.
  65. [00:39:18] <Giantree> "I JUST SAID-" One hand at her hip, she points at you with the other like a queen giving an order.  Then lets both arms down with a DEEP sigh.  "Okay.  Look.  At least tell me this much: Can you kill?  You aren't so useless that you'll get cold feet when a bandit or murderer or something shows up, right?"
  66. [00:44:06] <Vena> "If anything like that shows up, you might want to look away. You'd grow sick at the sights I leave behind." She grins. ...It's unnerving. She enjoys her job.
  67. [00:44:44] <Giantree> "Hm."  Sylvie doesn't look unnerved.  "With a response like that you'd think you were some kind of assassin or something."
  68. [00:45:46] <Giantree> "Alright, sure.  Then, kill all my pursuers.  Anybody comes close to me with a weapon ready, decapitate them, I don't care.  If you get hurt I can heal you, but I'd rather not have to babysit my own bodyguard.  Capiche?  Now let's move."
  69. [00:46:30] <Vena> "Nah. They'd be cleaner." Normally assassins don't cleave crowds. NORMALLY, they're quiet. And she knows how to be that. Give her an excuse not to be? Whoooooie. "Lead the way."
  70. [00:48:10] <Vena> The unnerving grin stops, at least. Get that squared away.
  71. [00:48:25] <Giantree> And without another word, the haughty ojousama walks out of the castle, holding her dress up all the way.  You would later go on to learn that, despite her attitude, she's not actually very demanding and only cares that you don't let her get killed.  And since she hasn't been killed by the time of the next session's start, you're presumably good enough at that job to get passing marks.
  72. [00:48:36] <Vena> ...Though maybe this teasing sort of grin is MORE unnerving for her. Heehee.
  73. [00:48:36] <Giantree> And yes, on that topic, you do indeed move to conquer the north.
  74. [00:48:49] <Giantree> it's time for world war 1.
  75. [00:48:54] <Giantree> /thing
  76.  
  77. [00:49:13] <Ramiel> Sirrolant should take the islands
  78. [00:49:23] <Giantree> they actually should
  79. [00:49:25] <Giantree> why haven't they
  80. [00:49:31] <Flamy> ninjas
  81. [00:49:37] <Flamy> and shies
  82. [00:49:41] <Flamy> ninja shies
  83. [00:49:47] <Ramiel> Because there's dragons all over them, duh
  84. [00:49:59] <Giantree> o ya
  85. [00:50:03] <Vena> ever since that dragon incident, islands stopped being a popular destination
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