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- Conventional wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount and walk. However, we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:
- Buy a stronger whip.
- Change riders.
- Say things like, "This is the way we have always have ridden this horse."
- Appoint a committee to study the horse.
- Arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
- Rewrite the standards for dead horse performance.
- Appoint a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
- Create a training session to increase riding ability.
- Compare the state of dead horses in today's environment.
- Change the requirements, declaring that, "This horse is not dead."
- Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
- Harness several dead horses together to increase speed and pulling power.
- Declare that, "No horse is too dead to beat."
- Provide additional incentive funding to increase the horse's performance.
- Do a Commercial Activities Study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.
- Purchase a software product to make dead horses run faster.
- Declare the horse is "better, faster, and cheaper" dead.
- Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
- Revisit the performance requirements for horses.
- Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
- Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
- Shorten the track.
- Establish benchmarks for industry dead-horse leaders.
- Put together a spiffy PowerPoint presentation to get planners to double the dead-horse R&D budget.
- Get the horse a website.
- Declare that the horse is not in fact dead, but poised for growth.(or just pinin')
- Sell off its ears to reduce overheads.
- Re-organize the horse to make it more customer-facing, by cutting off its head and sewing it on backwards.
- Declare that since horse is dead, we must now ride smarter, not harder.
- Sell off the horse's legs one by one, until someone will buy it.
- Declare that riding is not a core competency.
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