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a guest May 31st, 2015 295 Never
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  1. I was inspired by a comment, and decided to explore what would happened if the HAES Moo-vement and the Tumblrinas decided to make their own country. It will be formatted as a history:
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  3. Year 1: The United Fats of Hamerica founded, all members of NAAFA and the HAES movement move there. The government is parlamentary, and 2 delegates each from the 5 main areas of the country are elected. The main laws dictate that no No military yet, PMCs hired to defend the borders. A volunteer police force is formed.
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  5. Year 2: A PMC soldier is caught talking negatively about fat people among his associates. His personal information is given to the entire country's population and he is subsequently deported. Many of the PMCs opt out of their contracts in protest.
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  7. Year 5: A small defense force has been formed, mostly composed of drone operators. The army has 100 remote vehicles and 1,000 small robots of varying roles. The navy has 5 remotely operated ships, 3 of which are formerly decommissioned ships bought by the government. The air force has 100 armed drones and 25 observation and liaison drones. Hamerica's GDP declines steeply.
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  9. Year 6: There are two main political parties. The first is the Liberator Party, whose members wish to invade surrounding territory and stop them from fat-shaming, while the second is the Peace Party, whose goal is to gain sympathy from people in other countries. The incumbent president becomes ill near the end of the year.
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  11. Year 7: The president is found dead face-down in a fast-food restaurant, surrounded by cheeseburger wrappers and empty boxes of fries. The nation is confused by his death, and for some strange reason his doctor, after performing an autopsy claims that he suffocated due to fat restricting his lungs from moving. After the president's death, a number of things happen: doctors are banned from entering the country and any doctors in the country are kicked out, and a Liberator Party candidate is elected to replace the former president.
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  13. Year 9: An influenza epidemic ravages the country, killing 1 in 50 people.
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  15. Year 10: Doctors are allowed back into the country on one conditionteehee , they must believe what the population believes. Only ten doctors enter the country.
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  17. Year 14: A small border conflict escalates into all-out war, the combatants being Hamerica and a small country bordering it.
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  19. Year 15: The conflict ends after 5 months, with Hamerica the victor. However, the losses are very heavy. Approximately 500 robots are destroyed due to their insufficient armament. The opposing country in question was mostly evacuated before it succumbed to sheer numbers.
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  21. Year 17: A UN member state is threatened by the Hamerican military, which begins an offensive that is repelled with low casualties on both sides. The next day, the UN gives the UFH an ultimatum: Stop your ruthless, unprovoked attacks on other countries, or we will declare war.
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  23. Year 18: On New Year's Day, the UFH refuses. 2 hours later, United Nations forces begin a counterattack on the coast. While the land borders are heavily defended to prevent unwanted entries, the coastal areas are not guarded at all, as any attempted fortification efforts were dismissed as "unnecessary" and "unsightly".
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  25. Year 19: After 14 months of conflict, the only remaining pocket of resistance is the president's residence, which is equipped with 83 unmanmed machine-gun emplacements, armored walls, and three years' worth of rations.
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  27. Year 20: After waiting for the garrison to run out of supplies for a few months, the remaining turrets gradually run out of ammunition. The wall is breached and soldiers enter the building to find the halls empty. Inside the president's office, they find a disgusting sight. The president and various members of the parliament are inside completely naked, having an orgy. One of the soldiers throws an incendiary grenade into the room and slams the door and the team exits the residence, which burns down in a matter of minutes. (It turns out that the construction had been half-assed with plywood, drywall, and a few pillars thrown about.)
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  29. After a few minutes of negotiations, the remnants of Hamerica are disbanded and any land taken by force or otherwise is returned to its former owners.
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  31. TL;DR: A fictional story of an attempted ham country that, after attempting to take over the world to stop fat-shaming, collapses within 20 years.
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