Shenaniganon

Freak Club

Aug 26th, 2018
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  1. “Alright, everyone, settle down…before we get started with homeroom, I have a little announcement to make. Lyle, you can come on in.”
  2.  
  3. “…right. Ok.” Lyle took a quick breath. He didn’t want to do the whole ‘let’s introduce the new student before class starts’ thing, really. Honestly, he’d have preferred to make as little fuss as possible, just walk in, say hey, nice to meet you to a few classmates and ease into this new school on his terms. But Ms. Kelly had insisted, and more or less ignored his idea, so there wasn’t much to do except shrug and put up with it. It would be over soon, anyway.
  4.  
  5. He walked through the door, quickly scanning the room to make sure that, yup, it was a class of normal middle schoolers, and not like robots or something. That might have thrown him off his game, he guessed. That hurdle successfully cleared, he walked next to Ms. Kelly, who was standing up in front of the room waiting for him. Once he was there, the teacher placed her hand on his shoulder and said, “We have a new student who just moved into town! He’ll be joining us for the rest of the year. Go on and introduce yourself to your new classmates, honey.”
  6.  
  7. “’kay…Hi guys, my name’s Lyle James.” Lyle put on a weak smile as he quickly introduced himself. “I just moved to Royal Woods with my mom, and…uh…I’m looking forward to working with you all...is there anything else I need to…?”
  8.  
  9. “Wait, wait…‘Lyle’?” A brown-haired girl in the second row interrupted him. “You’re telling me you’re not a girl?”
  10.  
  11. “Hey! Gwen, that’s no way to welcome a new classmate!” Ms. Kelly admonished the girl, as a little wave of chuckles swept over the classroom. Welp, Lyle thought. Only took…what, forty-three seconds, this time? Not even close to a new record.
  12.  
  13. “What? You can’t really blame me, can you?” The girl, Gwen, smirked as she motioned towards Lyle. “I mean, take a look at him. The long hair and girly face don’t exactly scream ‘boy’, do they?”
  14.  
  15. Lyle rolled his eyes. Yeah, he knew he was feminine-looking. He couldn’t help it…he can’t change his face, and his mom liked how he looked with long hair. Not that he really minded it…he personally liked the way he looked just fine…but the ‘You’re a BOY?’ reactions and the grief he got from classmates were getting reeeeeaaal tiresome.
  16.  
  17. Still…he knew he probably shouldn’t respond. No need to start shit on your first day, right?
  18.  
  19. …and yet.
  20.  
  21. “It’s ok, Ms. Kelly…I’m used to it.” Lyle shrugged as he looked back to the teacher. “I get that some girls get annoyed when someone prettier than them shows up. It’s just something I’ve had to get used to.”
  22.  
  23. Gwen’s smirk faded just a bit, but before she could hit back, a kid in the back yelled, “Ooooooh!”, sparking a new round of laughter from the class. The girl whipped her gaze to the back quickly before looking back to Lyle, but Ms. Kelly hurriedly stepped in and said, “W-well! That’s enough for introductions, I think! Lyle, why don’t you grab a seat…there’s an open one by…Lemy, I think. The back corner, with the headband. Which reminds me, Mr. Loud, when are you going to start following the dress code and take that off?”
  24.  
  25. “Sometime between ‘never’ and ‘the heat-death of the universe’, teach.” A voice called back, and Lyle, as he started walking towards the back, recognized it as the same voice that had backed up his response to Gwen. Lyle soon found the open seat, and glanced to the student next to him, a boy with a messy mop of light brown hair wrapped in a headband, who was offering Lyle his fist. “Good comeback up there, putting Gwen in her place early. Lemy Loud. Nice ta meet ya.”
  26.  
  27. “Likewise.” Lyle took up the invitation and gave Lemy a little fist-bump. “Not that I knew I needed to put her in her place, or anything. She has a reputation around here?”
  28.  
  29. “Oh yeah. Kind of a queen bee, but…well, you’ll see.” Lemy nodded. “Let’s just say that if teach hadn’t stopped it, you’d be trading insults with her all day.”
  30.  
  31. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Lyle pulled the chair out and sat down. “If she’s a queen bee, though, aren’t you worried she’ll turn the class on you too for what you did?”
  32.  
  33. “Uh, hello? Thought the back corner might have been a giveaway, but I’m already bottom rung on that totem pole.” Lemy shrugged as he spun in his seat towards Lyle. “Besides, I’ve always been numero uno on her personal shit list even without that, so it won’t make much of a difference to…”
  34.  
  35. “Ahem!” From the front of the room, Ms. Kelly loudly cleared her throat. “Well, I’m glad to see you boys hitting it off right away, but you’ll have to save it for later.”
  36.  
  37. ***
  38.  
  39. Skipping to later, then, because who needs to hear about the excitement of math class?
  40.  
  41. “So, Lemy…is that like from Lemmy Kilmister?” Lyle took a quick bite from his almost-half-way decent mashed potatoes. “The lead from Motörhead?”
  42.  
  43. “Yep, that’s the one…though just one ‘m’ in my name.” Lemy nodded as he scarfed down his own lunch. Lemy had apparently been impressed enough by Lyle’s introductory put-down of Gwen that he offered to help Lyle out on his first day. Directions, good seats in the cafeteria, which classes you can and can’t sleep through…if Lemy thought Lyle needed to know, he told him. They were sharing a seat at lunch after Lemy found them a couple good seats and were continuing to chat as they worked through their questionable school lunches. “Kinda surprised you know him…not a lot of people remember the old metal legends anymore, ‘specially at school.”
  44.  
  45. “I’ve listened to a few of their songs…and I’ve got a bad habit of Wiki-ing anything that catches my interest for, like, three seconds.” Lyle paused for a moment as he chewed through what he assumed passed for chicken tenders here. “I’m guessing your parents are pretty big fans?”
  46.  
  47. “Man, my mom is a fan of all rockers – you name ‘em, she loves ‘em.” A smirk curled on Lemy’s face. “Of course, by now she’s one of ‘em…her band’s been going strong for years.”
  48.  
  49. “Really?” Lyle cocked his eyebrow. “She’s in a band?”
  50.  
  51. “Sure is. They play the Detroit scene, and they tour a bunch…usually around the Midwest, though they’ve gone on a national tour a couple times.” Lemy’s smile widened further. “And it’s thanks to her I’ve been schooled in the musical tradition and started my own band. Though our style is in my love, heavy metal, rather than old rock. Pretty soon, we’ll be up there with her, you just watch.”
  52.  
  53. “Really.” Lyle’s voice betrayed significantly more sarcasm than the last time he responded to Lemy’s claims. “Pretty soon, huh.”
  54.  
  55. “You bet. We just need, y’know, some time to get ready. Prep ourselves. Learn…gak!” Lemy’s voice screeched to a halt as an arm wrapped around his neck.
  56.  
  57. “Learn how to play’, right? That what you were about to say?” A boy with dark skin leaned in, a smirk on his face as he ruffled Lemy’s hair. “Because that’s the level we’re actually at, bro. Don’t go giving new kids any ideas about how good we aren’t.”
  58.  
  59. “Koff, kof…I was…I was getting there, Gord…” Lemy coughed as he squirmed out of the other boy’s hold. “Ergh…uh, Lyle, this is Gordon…my bandmate and, geh, sometimes friend. Gord, this is…”
  60.  
  61. “Lyle James.” On cue, Lyle got up and offered Gordon his hand. “Nice to meet you, Gordon.”
  62.  
  63. “Same here.” Gordon shook Lyle’s hand quickly, which allowed Lemy the opportunity to slip out from his grip. Bemused, Gordon let his friend go as he looked Lyle over quickly. “And, you are…”
  64.  
  65. “A boy, since you’re wondering.” Lyle smirked as he took his seat again. “Yes, I know what you’re thinking, and yes, it’s mostly due to how I get it a lot. Mostly.”
  66.  
  67. “Ah. K. Number one, that’s spooky mind-reading. I dig it, but still, spooky.” Gordon chuckled as he took his seat. “And, number two, I kinda had a feeling you’d say that. Word of your first act since transferring here’s gotten around. Specifically, the word of how the girly-looking new kid told Gwen Richards he was prettier than her.”
  68.  
  69. “Really? That’s made it to your end of the hall already?” Lemy gave Gordon a surprised look.
  70.  
  71. “You know it. A couple of her buddies in the bad bitches club were talking about it before science class.” Gordon pulled a water bottle out of his jacket pocket and took a sip. “So, what I’m getting from you guys is that this story is true? That sound right?”
  72.  
  73. “Yeah, it’s not too far off.” Lyle shrugged. “In my defense, though, she’s the one who started it by calling me girly.”
  74.  
  75. “I guess that must really set you off, huh?” Gordon leaned back, taking another swig of water.
  76.  
  77. “Something like that…I’ve heard it all, and it starts grating after a while. Like, in sixth grade, one of the girls in class just would not stop bringing it up, all the time. Like, telling the teachers a girl was going in the boys’ bathroom, or insisting I should play on the girls’ team in gym…and so on.” Lyle pawed at his potatoes absent-mindedly as he spoke. “So, one day, I decided I had enough, and I figured out the perfect way to get her to stop it.”
  78.  
  79. “Yeah?” Lemy perked up. “What’d you do?”
  80.  
  81. Lyle smirked again, picking up a spoonful of potatoes as he answered. “I dropped trow in the middle of class and waved my little guy in her face.”
  82.  
  83. “Pfft!” Gordon spat out some of the water he had been drinking. “Kof, koff…you did not!”
  84.  
  85. “Sure did.” Lyle’s smirk widened as he finished his lunch. “And hey, lo and behold, nobody in that class called me girly the rest of the year. So that worked out for me.”
  86.  
  87. “Hahaha…oh man!” Lemy just barely managed to rein in his laughter. “Ohhh, boy…please, Lyle, tell me you play an instrument. You’ve gotta join our band.”
  88.  
  89. “What? Where’d that come from?” Lyle snickered, sucked in a bit by Lemy’s laughter. “What makes you think I can play in a band?”
  90.  
  91. “Who cares if you CAN play? That was metal, and if you can do that, you’re already walking down our path.” Lemy smiled widely as he pointed at Lyle. “So, c’mon, have you ever tried anything? C’mon!”
  92.  
  93. “All right, all right…easy there.” Lyle calmed Lemy, who was basically leaning halfway across the table in his excited recruitment. “I mean, I guess I learned how to play piano a little bit, but I’m not sure that would really fit with a metal band.”
  94.  
  95. “Maybe not, but a keyboard sure would.” Gordon pulled Lemy back and got him to sit in his seat. “And we don’t have a keyboardist, so you’d fit in there.”
  96.  
  97. “Huh…well, I guess I could try. But I reserve the right to back out, ok?” Lyle hastily added that last bit. “If I start to play and decide I suck at it, I get to bail, and you guys can’t complain.”
  98.  
  99. “Alright, yeah! Got a keyboardist!” Lemy victoriously pumped his fist in the air. “Oh, man, I need to find Lina and let her know. We’re gonna be practicing this weekend, guys. I’ll let you know when!”
  100.  
  101. And with that, the headbanded kid practically jumped out of his seat and dashed out of the cafeteria. Lyle watched him go, then flicked his gaze to Gordon and asked, “He always get that excited?”
  102.  
  103. “When it comes to music, he does.” Gordon chuckled as he glanced back at the door, which hadn’t even closed yet from Lemy shoving it open. “You get used to it.”
  104.  
  105. “I’ll make a note of that.” Lyle took a sip of the water cup he had with his lunch. “So, ‘Lina’ would be another band member?”
  106.  
  107. “THE other band member. It’s just been the three of us up ‘till now.” Gordon corrected Lyle. “She’s in my class, and Lemy ran out to find her because she usually heads outside to skateboard during lunch.”
  108.  
  109. “Did Lemy get you guys to join the same way?” Lyle asked, adding, “Just jump on you and ask if you play anything?”
  110.  
  111. “Nah…forming the band was an idea we all had while hanging out. We go back way before that.” Gordon chuckled. “I met him cause our older sisters hung out, and Lina’s his family.”
  112.  
  113. “Are they? Like, cousins? Brother and sister?”
  114.  
  115. “Well…” Gordon thought about if for a second, before answering, “Actually, come to think of it, I probably shouldn’t say.”
  116.  
  117. That caught Lyle’s attention. “Oh…should I not have brought it up?”
  118.  
  119. “No, it’s just…kinda hard to explain? And it’s Lemy’s family, not mine, so I don’t think it’s my place to talk about it without him here.” Gordon finished off his water bottle.
  120.  
  121. Lyle thought about Gordon’s words for another moment, before saying, “Well…I kinda get that. Complicated family stuff. My mom’s single, and I’ve never even met my dad. I’m fine talking about that, but I probably wouldn’t want my friends discussing it behind my back.”
  122.  
  123. “Right? Same kinda feeling.” Gordon tossed the water bottle in his hand towards the trash, which went in after hitting the rim of the barrel. “Anyway, you wanna know, you can ask Lemy, and if he feels like talking about it, he can tell you himself.”
  124.  
  125. Before Lyle could respond, a bell sound went out over the loudspeaker. Lunch was over, and the students in the cafeteria got up almost in unison and started heading out the door.
  126.  
  127. “Welp, break’s over, then.” Gordon got up and offered Lyle his fist. “Nice to meet you, dude. Looking forward to playing together, even if it’s only once.”
  128.  
  129. “Likewise.” Lyle completed the fist bump, then got out of his seat and returned his lunch tray. Gordon headed straight out, so Lyle returned to his classroom, finding a brightly smiling Lemy already in his seat. Guess he hadn’t worked off the excitement yet, Lyle thought, as he walked towards his seat just before the teacher got history class started.
  130.  
  131. ***
  132.  
  133. Skipping over classes again, the day was nearly over, as the last bell had rung, and students were rushing out of the school.
  134.  
  135. “Okay, so, I’m on lead vocals and guitar, Lina switches between guitar and bass, depending on the song, and Gordon’s on drums. So far, our practices have just been showing up and jamming, so don’t feel like you have to practice…”
  136.  
  137. “Okay, Lemy, I get it.” Lyle rolled his eyes. “I got it the last five times you told me, too.”
  138.  
  139. “Right, right…anyway, I know a place we can practice, I just have to check when will work, and…” Lemy continued talking about the band, repeating everything he had said multiple times already. Lyle rolled his eyes as he let the kid ramble, figuring it was the last time. As they walked through the main doors, Lyle scanned the parking lot, looking for his mom’s car, since she was supposed to pick him up…
  140.  
  141. “What the…oh man, why is he…?”
  142.  
  143. It took him a moment to realize that Lemy had stopped talking about the practice, so he only half heard Lemy’s angry mumbling. “What’s wrong?”
  144.  
  145. “Huh? Oh…nothing, just…” Lemy’s face scrunched as he tried to find the right word. “Some family biz, I guess…”
  146.  
  147. As he heard that, Lyle recalled Gordon’s words at lunch about how he didn’t want to discuss Lemy’s family behind his back. He hadn’t asked him during the breaks between classes…not that he hadn’t thought about it, but he could barely get a word about non-band subjects in.
  148.  
  149. Before he could decide whether to ask, Lemy started walking a bit faster, heading towards the parking lot. Lyle followed after him, curious about what was up, and also, that’s where his mom would be, anyway. After a bit of walking, Lemy called out, “Hey…what are you doing here?”
  150.  
  151. Lyle looked in the same direction Lemy was looking. There was a man standing there…looked to be 30s-ish? White hair, though, which was weird for a not-terribly old guy. And he was leaning on a big blue van, which…man, how old was THAT thing? It was impossibly rickety-looking, like it was being held together by string and chewing gum.
  152.  
  153. “Oh…hey, Lem.” The man waved at Lemy. “Lacy had a dentist’s appointment today after practice, so I was gonna pick her up and take her there. I can swing by the house if you want me to drop you…”
  154.  
  155. “No.” Lemy curtly cut him off. “I’m fine walking.”
  156.  
  157. “Oh…kay.” The man glance around, as if unsure what to say next, when Lyle caught his eye, standing next to Lemy. “Uh, hi there. You’re…”
  158.  
  159. “This is Lyle. He’s a new kid at school. I helped show him around today.” Lemy answered before Lyle could. “Lyle, this is…my uncle Lincoln.”
  160.  
  161. “Oh…nice to meet you.” Lyle nodded politely, but he could tell from Lemy’s tone of voice this had to do with the ‘hard to explain’ stuff Gordon had alluded to earlier and figured now wasn’t the time to bring it up. Instead, Lyle turned to Lemy and waved, saying, “Well, Lemy, I’ll…see you tomorrow. Take it easy.”
  162.  
  163. “Yeah. See ya.” Lemy smiled and waved back, but Lyle felt it was a bit pained, not like the smile he saw earlier after getting back from lunch. But, again…not the time to pry.
  164.  
  165. Instead, Lyle turned, and looked for his mom’s car…which took all off three seconds, because as luck would have it, it was just three cars away from Lincoln’s van. And there was mom, sitting in the front seat. She saw him coming and got out, saying, “Hey, honey! How’d it go? Make any new friends?”
  166.  
  167. “Eh…kinda.” Lyle smirked as he walked up to her. “I mean, they sorta press-ganged me into joining their band, but I guess I’d call them friends.”
  168.  
  169. “Really? You, in a band?” Lyle’s mom smirked back at him. “Well, I’d be glad to see you use those piano lessons you got in elementary school, but I don’t exactly remember you practicing since then.”
  170.  
  171. “No, but from what I was getting, not being able to play will not be a problem, since that’s where everyone else about is, too.” Lyle glanced back to where Lemy had been, a bit surprised that the metalhead was still there with his uncle…
  172.  
  173. “Oh, is that one of your new bandmates?” His mom noticed where he was looking. “The boy with the headband?”
  174.  
  175. “The press-ganger in chief, more like.” Lyle rolled his eyes. “Yeah, he helped me out today, and…uh…”
  176.  
  177. Lyle trailed off when he noticed his mom was no longer looking at Lemy, but at his uncle, who was still talking to the kid outside the van. She stared at him intensely for a few seconds, then looked back at Lyle and asked, “Hey, honey…what’s that boy’s name?”
  178.  
  179. “Uh…It’s Lemy…Lemy Loud.” He added the last name when he noticed she was still curious.
  180.  
  181. And he guessed that was what she was looking for, because he noticed her eyes get wider when he said it. She spun her gaze back to Lemy, then to his uncle, before Lyle could hear her mutter, “Well, if that don’t beat all…”
  182.  
  183. “Uh…mom…?”
  184.  
  185. Before Lyle could finish asking a question, his mom put her hand on his shoulder and said, “Honey, come with me for a sec, okay?”
  186.  
  187. There wasn’t any time for Lyle to either agree or question, because his mom was pushing him ahead. The two of them were walking back to where Lemy and his uncle were still standing, talking about something. Lyle tried listening in, but before he could, his mother walked up to Lincoln and smacked him hard on the back, cheerfully yelling, “Hey there, you old rascal!”
  188.  
  189. “Gwah! Ow…what was…?” Lincoln began protesting, rubbing his shoulder, but once he turned to Lyle’s mom, he froze. He didn’t say anything for a beat, during which time Lemy and Lyle exchanged surprised, do-you-know-what’s-happening-here expressions, before finally muttering, “You’re…Girl Jordan?”
  190.  
  191. “Ding! And here I was worried you’d forget this gal’s face.” Lyle’s mom crossed her arms, her smile positively beaming. “Well, though I’m a bit old for ‘Girl Jordan’, I guess. Maybe Mom Jordan instead?”
  192.  
  193. “Or, I…can just call you Jordan…besides, Boy Jordan moved to California six years ago.” Lincoln scratched the back of his head sheepishly as he spoke. “But…boy, this is a surprise…what are you doing in town?”
  194.  
  195. “What, I’m not allowed back in the old stomping grounds?” Jordan shot Lincoln a sly smile. “Well, I’ll have you know that I’m back here full time. Got a job in the next town over, and we just got a place in town a few…”
  196.  
  197. “Whoa, whoa…hang on a second.” Lyle stopped his mother before she got off on a tangent. “Mom, you two know each other?”
  198.  
  199. “Oh, you could say that…” His mom’s smirk only grew wider. “Hmmm…where to start…”
  200.  
  201. As his mom trailed off, Lyle glanced at the Louds and took in their expressions. Lincoln had a look of surprise and embarrassment…Lemy, on the other hand, was mostly shock, along with some…disbelief? Maybe anger…?
  202.  
  203. “Well, to start, we were classmates for years.” Jordan started answering her son. “We hung out all the time, back when we were you guys’ age. We went to grade school together, and middle school, and high school too. And we were…good friends back then…and…hmmm…”
  204.  
  205. It was at this moment that Lyle noticed that the shock on Lemy’s face was turning more into anger.
  206.  
  207. This observation was followed, about half-a second later, by Lemy swinging his gaze to his uncle and shouting, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”
  208.  
  209. “Lemy! Language! And not so loud!” Lincoln tried to quiet his nephew.
  210.  
  211. “No! Fuck it, I am out!” Lemy turned on his heels and angrily stomped down the road. “I’m going home! I’m NOT dealing with this BULLSHIT right now!”
  212.  
  213. “Lemy…” Lincoln called after the boy again, but Lemy was keeping up a fast pace, and did not turn his head for a moment. Unsure of what to do, Lincoln ran his hand through his hair, before glancing back at Jordan and saying, “I’m sorry…about…”
  214.  
  215. “Oh, no no…it’s probably my fault anyway, so I should be apologizing to you if I pissed him off.” Jordan shrugged sheepishly. “Well…we can probably catch up later, but before I go…”
  216.  
  217. With that, she put her hands on Lyle’s shoulders and stood behind him, as if presenting the boy to Lincoln. “Lincoln…this is Lyle.”
  218.  
  219. Here, the confusion that had gripped Lyle since his mother had smacked Lincoln began to clear, and his mind raced as a few pieces started to fall into place.
  220.  
  221. Specifically, his mind had become fixated on what his mother had said just before Lemy blew up.
  222.  
  223. …and we were…good friends back then…and…
  224.  
  225. …and?
  226.  
  227. …the answer to ‘and what’ was suddenly very obvious.
  228.  
  229. “Lyle…” Jordan continued, though she didn’t even need to. Lyle already knew what she was about to say. “This is your dad.”
  230.  
  231. ***
  232.  
  233. The remainder of the day was…rather blurry.
  234.  
  235. Lincoln…his dad…was unsure of what to say next. At some point, though, a girl came over asking for him. That was probably the one that he had to take…somewhere. Lyle didn’t remember much of the end of that conversation. Eventually, Lincoln and Jordan made plans to catch up, and they said good-bye. And then Lyle and his mom were in the car. And then they were home. And then he remembered her asking if there was anything he wanted to ask her.
  236.  
  237. That was a stupid question. He had loads.
  238.  
  239. So, what, were they dating in high school?
  240.  
  241. “Hmmm…Towards the end of high school and the start of college. But it wasn’t anything as serious as dating, really. We would just get together every now and then when we were in the mood for a fling.”
  242.  
  243. Wow, that was a pretty blatant way of saying that.
  244.  
  245. “Pfft, as if that’s not the way you were thinking it. I might not have made the right decision of how to talk around that boy Lemy, but I know what I can say to my own son.”
  246.  
  247. Fair enough. He was just a booty call, then?
  248.  
  249. “Well, closer than that…we WERE good friends, even before we started getting down. But we were both pretty comfortable with the friends with benefits relationship.”
  250.  
  251. Guess he wasn’t expecting a kid to be one of those benefits, was he.
  252.  
  253. “Oh, no. I always knew there was a chance I was getting knocked up.”
  254.  
  255. What.
  256.  
  257. “Letting you in on a little secret, honey…you may not have been expected, but you weren’t a surprise.”
  258.  
  259. …he’d had other kids. Presumably with other women.
  260.  
  261. “A few. Monogamy was not his thing. Or protection, for that matter.”
  262.  
  263. The man you’re describing sounds like an irresponsible manwhore.
  264.  
  265. “That’s not particularly far from the truth.”
  266.  
  267. So…even with all that, you kept seeing him?
  268.  
  269. “We were friends. I liked him as a person. And, even with his faults, he was always a pretty okay dude.”
  270.  
  271. That’s it?
  272.  
  273. “I mean, sure, and he was a goddamn monster in the sack. I’m only flesh and blood, Lyle.”
  274.  
  275. …why’d you stop getting in touch?
  276.  
  277. “My college was in Texas, he stayed in Michigan. We didn’t have as many chances to see each other, and slowly drifted apart.”
  278.  
  279. Even though you had a kid together?
  280.  
  281. “Sadly, yeah. Life took us in separate directions. It happens. Sorry it’s not that romantic.”
  282.  
  283. You didn’t care that he never helped you with me?
  284.  
  285. “He helped. He always payed child support, even though we stopped getting in touch.”
  286.  
  287. Really?
  288.  
  289. “Mmhmm. Every first of the month. And no, before you ask, we never went to court or anything. We agreed on it before you were even born.”
  290.  
  291. He willingly agreed to pay child support to a woman he barely even spoke with?
  292.  
  293. “I did say he was always a pretty okay dude. And I wasn’t the only one…all the girls I knew who he’d had kids with said he took care of them with child support payments, too.”
  294.  
  295. What, is he loaded?
  296.  
  297. “No, his family wasn’t rich or anything…come to think of it, I never asked where he got the money from. All I know is, those checks never bounced. Maybe I’ll ask next time we see each other.”
  298.  
  299. …did you move us up here for him?
  300.  
  301. “What? No way. I moved back up here because Grandpa threw out his hip, and I was on the other side of the country. Next time he or Grandma need help, I wanted to be around to give it.”
  302.  
  303. Him being in town had nothing to do with it?
  304.  
  305. “I honestly didn’t even know he was still around Royal Woods. Like I said, we haven’t gotten in touch in years.”
  306.  
  307. So you’re not interested in him anymore?
  308.  
  309. “…I mean, if we just happen to hit it off again next time we see each other…”
  310.  
  311. Mom.
  312.  
  313. “What? I haven’t had so much as a date in four years, Lyle! I told you, flesh and blood!”
  314.  
  315. Right…what do you think of him, then?
  316.  
  317. “One, thirty’s been very kind to him. Rawr. Two…I’m happy you got to meet him. He might not exactly be the dad you wanted to meet, but…he is your dad.”
  318.  
  319. …why do you think Lemy was so mad when he figured out what was going on?
  320.  
  321. “That…is something you’ll have to ask Lemy yourself, I think.”
  322.  
  323. ***
  324.  
  325. Dawn of the Second Day.
  326.  
  327. Lyle was again standing outside the door to his class, trying to collect himself before he walked in. Though the reasons for any butterflies in his stomach were vastly different from what they were yesterday.
  328.  
  329. After a minute or two of waiting, he took a breath and walked in the door. The class looked the same as it had yesterday, mostly. The kids glanced his way when they heard the door open, but most simply took note of him and went back to whatever they had been doing…chatting, reading, prepping for class, etc. Gwen, near the front of the class, let her gaze linger on him for a moment longer, before she smirked and leaned in to whisper something to the girl sitting next to her, a girl with dark skin and glasses, who listened while wearing a bored-looking expression. Lyle figured he’d keep clear of that area today. He had enough on his plate.
  330.  
  331. Instead, he looked to the back of the room. There was his new seat, unaltered from yesterday. And next to his seat, was, indeed, a kid with messy brown hair wrapped in a headband…slightly changed from yesterday. His face was down on the desk, as though he were asleep. Or trying to ignore something.
  332.  
  333. With another breath, Lyle made his way to the back. He put down his bag before glancing to the boy next to him and asking, “Hey, Lemy. You doing okay?”
  334.  
  335. “…mmf fffnnn…” came the muffled voice in response. Lemy turned his head to Lyle and continued. “Fine. Just a little tired…long night of cussing and rage, is all.”
  336.  
  337. “Uh huh…” Lyle nodded as he took his seat. “So…are we cool?”
  338.  
  339. “Why wouldn’t we be?” Lemy picked his head up, throwing it straight back as he looked to the ceiling. “I’m not mad at you.”
  340.  
  341. “That’s good to hear.” Lyle allowed himself to smile. “So…I guess we’re cousins, huh…?”
  342.  
  343. “…oh. Right…bout that.” Lemy turned his head towards Lyle. “After school…meet me in room 115. I’ll give you the rundown then.”
  344.  
  345. “The rundown?” Lyle gave Lemy a quizzical look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
  346.  
  347. “Ah…how should I describe it…” Lemy scratched his chin. “An introduction to the insanity that you just got signed up for? Does that make sense?”
  348.  
  349. “…not really, no.” Out of the corner of his eye, Lyle could see Ms. Kelly start writing on the blackboard, and figuring class was going to be starting soon, turned his gaze towards the front of the room. “But I suppose I’ll get it later in the day. Room 115?”
  350.  
  351. “Yep, that’s the one. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” Lemy picked up his book, opened it, stood it up on his desk, then immediately put his head down behind it. About a half-second later, Lyle could hear gentle snoring wafting over from his neighbor.
  352.  
  353. ***
  354.  
  355. The rest of the school day was quiet. No surprise parents or cousins appeared, even though Lyle was half-expecting some to pop their heads in every period. But the day went by pretty uneventfully.
  356.  
  357. Only two things really stood out to Lyle. One, Lemy was pretty much gone every time they had a break. He had hoped to ask for more information about this ‘rundown’ Lemy was planning, but every time the bell rang, Lemy was already out the door. The one time he managed to get a word out of him before he could go, all Lyle was told was that he had ‘stuff to get ready.’ This ‘stuff’ would have him missing for every break period and the whole lunch block, which saw Lyle eating alone for the first half of lunch, until Gordon showed up and gave him a conversation partner.
  358.  
  359. The second thing that stood out was Gwen. Though this was…unusual. Lyle was expecting some sort of retaliation for his put-down yesterday, but as the day went on, she never came after him. She’d shoot him looks every now and then, but it would always end with her chuckling and whispering something to her friend. He knew she was planning…something, but couldn’t tell what. Lyle supposed he’d just have to deal with it when it came.
  360.  
  361. And, soon enough, the bell rang for the end of the day. Lyle eyed Gwen for a bit, figuring this was when she was gonna spring her plan, but she and her crew walked out the door, not even shooting him a second look. He thought about what they were up to, but figured he could put it aside for now. He had a meeting to get to.
  362.  
  363. It took him a couple minutes to find the room…he was still figuring out the school building, but 115 wasn’t too far out of the way. The door was open just a crack, so Lyle walked in, knocking gentle as he opened the door wide and went in.
  364.  
  365. The lights were on, but the room was empty. It was a normal class room…the posters and books littered here and there made it clear it was a math room. Lyle glanced around, calling out, “Hello? Lemy? Anybody here?”
  366.  
  367. But no response came. “Huh…guess I beat him here…?” Lyle shrugged, as he turned to look to the door and wait for him to come in…
  368.  
  369. “Hey there.”
  370.  
  371. “Gwaah!” Lyle practically jumped out of his skin. As soon as he turned around, a girl with shock-white hair was standing there, right behind him. He didn’t know if she’d been waiting here for him, or if she just…didn’t make a sound when she came in? Can people do that? “Wh-what the…”
  372.  
  373. “Heheh…aw man. Classic. Love it when that trick works.” The girl flashed a devilish smirk for a second as she admired her handiwork. “Mom always was proud of it.”
  374.  
  375. “O-oh…yeah?” Lyle smiled nervously as he tried to compose himself. “That’s…nice…uh, are you one of Lemy’s…friends? Or…uh…”
  376.  
  377. Lyle trailed off as it was obvious the girl wasn’t really listening to him. She walked forward, looking him over…no, more like she was sizing him up? “Uh, umm…”, he muttered, unsure what to say…
  378.  
  379. Turned out, he wouldn’t need to think of anything. The girl made the next move.
  380.  
  381. In one smooth motion, she reached out, put her hand in between his legs, and gave it a quick squeeze.
  382.  
  383. “YeeeEEEP!”
  384.  
  385. “Huh…not bad.” She nodded. “You must be Lyle, then?”
  386.  
  387. “I-I-I…” Lyle tried muttering out a reply, but the delicate fingers currently gripping him through his clothes were kind of short-circuiting his thought processes. “Wha…why…you…”
  388.  
  389. “Hmm? Oh, right…” The girl released her grip, and backed up a step to give Lyle some breathing room. “There you go.”
  390.  
  391. “Guuh…” Lyle backed up a few more steps, almost clattering into the desk behind him, but managing to stay upright with a little difficulty. “Wh-why did you…”
  392.  
  393. “Well, Lemy was all, ‘This kid’s kinda girly looking, but he’s a dude. But don’t bring that up, he hates it.’” The girl shrugged. “So, I had to think up a way to figure out if you were a girl or a boy without talking about it.”
  394.  
  395. “Th-that was…the best way you could have done that?”
  396.  
  397. “More like the fastest way, I guess.” She shrugged as she walked past him and sat down on the desk next to him.
  398.  
  399. He backed up another step, trying to think of a response, but as he was thinking, the door opened, and Lemy walked in, with another girl behind him. “Hey dude, sorry it took a sec…huh?”
  400.  
  401. Lemy glanced at the two in the room…Lyle standing at attention, his hands down by his crotch, and the girl sitting on the desk with a bemused look on her face…for just a second before he sighed and asked, “Lupa, what did you do to him?”
  402.  
  403. “What? I just said hello is all.” The girl, Lupa, had a ‘who, me?’ look on her face as she replied. “Also, I figured out he’s a boy without asking. It was pretty easy, Lem. You should try it.”
  404.  
  405. “I dunno, Lupe, the kid looks a bit shaken up.” The girl who came in with Lemy walked up to Lyle. She also had surprisingly white hair, but hers had a stripe of vibrant blue dyed in. She gave Lyle a smile and a pat on the back. “What’d you do, grab his junk?”
  406.  
  407. “I don’t have to answer that.” Lupa kept up the poker face to Lina’s question.
  408.  
  409. “Well, that’s a yes.” The new girl rolled her eyes as Lemy facepalmed. “Met him five minutes, and already teasing him…that’s Lupa for you.”
  410.  
  411. Turning to Lyle, the new girl smiled and patted him on the back as she said, “Anyway, hey Lyle. I’m Lina Sharp. Lemy’s told me a lot about you.”
  412.  
  413. “Oh, uh…Hi Lina.” Lyle weakly waved hello. “So, you’re Lemy’s bandmate? He’s told me a lot about you.”
  414.  
  415. “Not as much as he’s told me about you, I bet.” Lina rolled her eyes as she gestured back to Lemy. “I was chilling at lunch yesterday, skating by myself, when all of a sudden Lem peels out of the cafeteria, runs over to me and starts talking a mile a minute about the awesome new keyboardist who’s joining the band.”
  416.  
  417. “I would like to stipulate that I never described myself as an awesome keyboardist. Or a keyboardist at any level, really.” Lyle quickly added, which got a chuckle out of Lina. Turning to Lemy, Lyle continued, “Well, I guess we’re just waiting for Gordon then? Unless Miss Goth McGrabbyPaws over there replaced him as drummer in the last few hours, I guess.”
  418.  
  419. “Huh?” Lemy looked a bit confused in response to Lyle question. “Gord’s not coming. He already went home for the day.”
  420.  
  421. “Oh…really?” Lyle titled his head quizzically. “So this isn’t about the band?”
  422.  
  423. “I wouldn’t be here if it was.” Lupa put her hands behind her head. “I ain’t dealing with that garbage fire.”
  424.  
  425. “You didn’t tell him, Lem?” Lina glanced over at the headbanded kid.
  426.  
  427. “I was busy telling everyone to meet up here…figured we’d go over it when school ended.” Lemy shrugged. “Lacy and…maybe Marla will be over in a few, ‘cause Lace said they were gonna run some ‘quick laps around the school’ to make up for missing practice. Beyond that, we’re just waiting on…”
  428.  
  429. Before Lemy could finish, the door to the room was flung open, and a voice quickly called out, “Hi, Lemy! I made it! What are we doing today?”
  430.  
  431. Lemy, still halted mid-sentence, didn’t even turn to the door, instead sighing and muttering. “…Gloom. Waiting on Gloom. Was…what I was saying.”
  432.  
  433. While Lemy still kept his back to the door, Lyle was looking around him at the new entrant in the room. It was another girl, but one with striking differences to the two in the room. Like, beyond the fact that her hair was as black as the other girls’ hair was white. While Lupa was wearing a casual hoodie, skirt and stockings ensemble and Lina had on a simple t-shirt and jeans, this girl was wearing a ridiculously frilly dress, with a corset, a bow, and a headband with smaller bows on it, as if she had just stepped out of some insane gothic manga manuscript that got rejected for being too overdesigned.
  434.  
  435. “Lemy? Did you hear me?” The girl walked into the room and got in the metalhead’s field of vision, the cheerful smile not leaving her face for a moment. “I came here like you asked! What’s the plan? Was there something we needed to talk about?”
  436.  
  437. “Yes, Gloom…I told you about it at lunch. Did you forget?” Lemy looked back at the girl, whose only response was to tilt her head a bit, clearly having no idea what he was talking about. Lemy sighed again before he pointed at Lyle and said, “Gloom, this is my new classmate Lyle. Lyle, this is…uh…Lyle?”
  438.  
  439. …it wasn’t that Lyle couldn’t hear him. He heard Lemy clearly.
  440.  
  441. But his mind was, simply, preoccupied. Transfixed, in a way, so that he could not process Lemy’s words.
  442.  
  443. He was too busy staring at her boobs, basically.
  444.  
  445. And yet, how could he be blamed for that? It was as though they had a gravitational pull, such was the power of their majesty. Even through her dress, their impressive size and wondrous shape stood out. He could practically hear the buttons on that dress, the last bastion keeping them from the prying eyes of all around her, straining to contain their awesome pressure.
  446.  
  447. He loathed those buttons, and silently uttered curses as he wished death upon them.
  448.  
  449. And then faintly, he heard Lemy call his name, and snapped back into reality. His boob-induced fugue lasted, he felt, about 3 microseconds in real-time. As soon as he was back, he gracefully lowered himself onto one knee, offering Gloom his hand as he said, with a dazzling smile, “How do you do, my lady. My name is Lyle James. It is my honor to make your acquaintance.”
  450.  
  451. “Oh! Why, thank you!” Gloom took his hand, which he had clearly meant to clasp gently for a moment, as a knight would to his lady, and vigorously shook it instead. “Such a gentleman. I’m Gloom Bennett, and it’s nice to meet you too!”
  452.  
  453. “Your words are too kind.” Lyle stood back up as he kept up his charming façade. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lemy’s eyes narrow with a look of mild disgust, Lupa roll her eyes as she flopped back and laid on the desk she had been sitting on, and Lina desperately trying to hold back laughter as her gaze darted from Lyle and Gloom to Lemy and back. Ignoring all of that, Lyle continued to pour on the schmaltz, saying, “I look forward to getting to know you better. Please, let me get you a seat, and we ca-urk!”
  454.  
  455. Before Lyle could lead Gloom to a seat, Lemy wrapped his arm tightly around Lyle’s shoulders and pulled him back…kind of a headlock, basically, though only with one arm. “Yeah…anyway, Gloom, why don’t you sit down by Lupa…we’re just waiting on Lacy to finish up her practice. She’ll be here soon.”
  456.  
  457. “Oh…okay!” Though there was a bit of a look of confusion on her face after Lemy grabbed the still-struggling Lyle, Gloom cheerfully nodded, and walked over to where Lupa was. As she cheerily started greeting the white-haired girl (who promptly ignored her), Lemy glanced over to Lyle and asked, “What the hell was that?”
  458.  
  459. “Lemy. I don’t know if we’re friends, or cousins, or what, but let me make clear…” Lyle glared back, in spite of his still being in Lemy’s grip. “Get between me and that goddess, and it will be war.”
  460.  
  461. “Heheh…Gloom roped you in that quick, huh?” Lina slid in on Lyle’s other side. “Well, not like I can blame you…her mom’s crazy wardrobe choices aside, she is super cute.”
  462.  
  463. “Right, I can’t be blamed here, can I?” Lyle glanced Lina’s way before looking back to Gloom, struggling against Lemy’s grip the whole way. “I’m sure every boy in school is attracted to her…a warm smile, a sunny disposition to go with it, the gothic clothing to give her a hint of mystique…”
  464.  
  465. “And also she’s got a ridiculous rack on her.” Lina added onto Lyle’s list.
  466.  
  467. “They are exquisite.” Lyle’s face immediately got serious as he nodded in response. “Like a true work of art.”
  468.  
  469. “I know, right?” Lina had a similar look on her face as she assessed Gloom from a distance, as the gothic girl tried (failed) to engage the goth girl lying on the desk. “God, what I wouldn’t give to get a round with those once she’s out of her doll clothes.”
  470.  
  471. His face still serious, Lyle processed the situation for a moment before he craned his neck back to look at Lina. “Assuming that means you bat for the other team, am I going to have to go to war with you as well?”
  472.  
  473. “Eh, more of a switch-hitter really…If it’s cute, I’m in.” Lina shrugged as she glanced back to Lyle, wiggling her eyebrows a bit as she continued. “And I’m more than willing to share, y’know…?”
  474.  
  475. Lyle read her face for a bit, assessing her true intentions, before smiling as he slipped out of Lemy’s grip, clasped Lina’s hand and said, “My comrade. I look forward to standing beside you.”
  476.  
  477. “If you guys would like to come back to reality here…” Lemy, who was admittedly a bit miffed at Lyle being able to worm his way out of his grip that easily, gave Lina and Lyle an annoyed look and said, “Maybe this is the point you should know…or remember, I guess…that Gloom is in 6th grade. And eleven.”
  478.  
  479. His eyes wide, Lyle let go of Lina’s hand to glance back at Lemy, who did not appear to be joking. He then looked back to Lina, who simply nodded with a shrug. And then he collapsed to his knees, a shocked look on his face as he muttered, “Ye gods…they’re like that, and yet…she’s still growing…?”
  480.  
  481. He continued to murmur, quieter now, as Lemy and Lina glanced at each other before Lina asked, “So…we should probably avoid having him meet Gloom’s mom, shouldn’t we?”
  482.  
  483. “Oh yeah. Not gonna happen.” Lemy agreed as he glanced back at the still prostrate Lyle. “I’d rather avoid him having another religious experience while we’re…”
  484.  
  485. Before Lemy could finish his thought, the door burst open again. Everyone in the room, even Lyle, who was awoken from his stupor by the sound, looked over to the door, to see two more girls walk in, both in gym uniforms, one with light brown hair, who had her arm wrapped around the other, with darker hair and a notably long nose, who was trying desperately to break free to no avail as she was dragged into the room. “Goddammit, lemme go, Loud! I told you, I’m not…gargh!”
  486.  
  487. “Aw, come on, Marl, we’re already here!” Her accoster had a cheery smile on her face as she strolled in, not slowed a moment by the other girl’s struggling. “Hey Lemy! Thanks for waiting for practice to finish.”
  488.  
  489. “No…no problem, Lacy…” Lemy glanced at the girl in Lacy’s grip, sighing as he asked, “Hey Lacy…why don’t you let Marla go now?”
  490.  
  491. “Oh! Right, we made it, so…” Lacy released Marla from her grip all at once, causing the suddenly freed girl to stumble onto the floor before picking herself up. “All right, we’re all here, so let’s get started…”
  492.  
  493. “YOU can get started. I’m going home.” As soon as she regained her balance, Marla turned to the door and started walking out. “I told you, I am NOT involved with you guys, and I want nothing to do with any of this! So leave me outta it!”
  494.  
  495. “Wha…hey, Marl, don’t be like that!” Lacy reached out and grabbed Marla’s arm before she could get too far away. “Lemy asked you to drop by, so you could at least stick around and meet…”
  496.  
  497. “I…don’t…want…to…guuuuh how are you so freakishly strong!?” Marla again struggled to free herself from Lacy’s grip, despite the other girl not looking like she was putting any effort into the hold. “I told…Lemy at lunch…that I wasn’t…interested! So just…let me…”
  498.  
  499. “Hah…Hey, Marla.” Lemy called out to the girl, who looked over to him with a sour look, then pointed to Lyle, who had picked himself off the floor as he watched the bizarre spectacle unfold. “This is Lyle. He just transferred to school here, and we found out that he’s…in the same boat as you are. That’s all, ok?”
  500.  
  501. Marla didn’t say anything at first, just glancing at the boys in the room, before looking at Lyle and bowing her head slightly and muttering, “Hey, Lyle.” Then she quickly snapped her gaze back to Lemy and said, “Can I go now?”
  502.  
  503. “Yeah. That’s fine.” Lemy nodded. “Lacy, you can let her go now.”
  504.  
  505. Looking back at the boy, Lacy began to protest, “Aw…but Lemy…”
  506.  
  507. “Lacy!” Lupa, still lying flat on the desk and not looking in Lacy’s direction, surprisingly joined the conversation as she called out to the sporty girl. “Just let her go.”
  508.  
  509. “Awww…fine.” With a bit of a pout, Lacy finally conceded, releasing Marla from her grip. Now free, Marla wasted no time in turning on her heels and making for the door, closing it behind her as she exited.
  510.  
  511. Lacy still had a disappointed look on her face, which Lemy took notice of before he told her, with a sigh, “Look…you can’t just force her to join us. If she doesn’t want to, you can’t make her.”
  512.  
  513. “Yeah…I guess.” Lacy was still pouting a bit, but with a nod, her mood cleared, and the smile returned to her face as she turned to Lyle. “Welp, I’m not gonna let that get me down! So, you must be our new brother Lyle, huh?”
  514.  
  515. “Oh…yeah, that’s me…wait…” Lyle cocked his eyebrow as he reflected on Lacy’s statement. “Your…brother?”
  516.  
  517. “Well, yeah! That’s what Lemy told us yesterday.” Lacy wrapped her arm around Lyle’s neck and brought him into an embrace. “And it’s super nice to meet you! Man, I can’t even remember the last time we got to meet a new sibling!”
  518.  
  519. “Lulu, obviously, since she’s only two.” Lupa spoke up in reply to Lacy as she sat up. “From outside the family, though, I’m pretty sure it was Gloom. That would have been…six years ago, I think.”
  520.  
  521. “Oh! Right, right.” Lacy glanced over to Lupa before nodding. “So yeah, it’s been a while. Plus, you’re a boy! That means Lemy’s not our only brother anymore! Isn’t that right, Lem?”
  522.  
  523. “Well, yeah, obviously.” Lemy sighed as he nodded. “Anyway, Lace, wanna let him go? I didn’t tell him any of that yet, so he’s probably all sorts of confused right now.”
  524.  
  525. “Sure, sure…” Lacy released Lyle from her grip, which, because she again put too much strength into it, caused him to stumble as he adjusted himself to the sudden freedom.
  526.  
  527. Lyle took a moment as he recovered from that stumbling to consider what was just said. Like yesterday, pieces to a puzzle were falling into place, and he was beginning to recognize the shape.
  528.  
  529. Once he was settled, he looked around to everyone in the room. The cool guitarist, the goth, the doll-like girl, the athlete…both the one still here and the one who left, really…and the metalhead boy. A group that seemed quite different in many ways…and yet.
  530.  
  531. OUR brother. That’s what Lacy had said.
  532.  
  533. After a moment of thinking to himself, Lyle looked back to Lemy and murmured. “I’m…everyone’s brother? Everyone here?”
  534.  
  535. “…yeeep.” Lemy shrugged his shoulders. “That’s about the gist of it. Everyone in this room here…and Marla too, but…well, another time. Anyway, yeah…for all of us, you’re our brother. Because we’re all siblings…we all have the same dad.”
  536.  
  537. Lyle’s mind raced for a minute. Sure…okay, the siblings thing, he could understand. Didn’t his mom say it yesterday when they talked about this? Lincoln Loud was not monogamous…or big on protection. He had other children. So he had the luck to meet them. That shouldn’t be surprising.
  538.  
  539. But still. Now there was another thing sticking in his mind. “Lemy…yesterday, that guy…the one who I found out was my dad…you called him your uncle.”
  540.  
  541. “Ah…yeah.” Lemy had a wry look on his face, as though he expected that to be mentioned, even though he’d prefer it not be. “I did call him that.”
  542.  
  543. “Because he is Lemy’s uncle. That is true.” Lupa hopped off the desk she had been sitting on, walking over to Lyle and wrapping her arm around his neck, though with significantly less strength to her grip than Lacy’s a moment ago. “Mine and Lacy’s too. Yep…good ol’ Uncle Lincoln.”
  544.  
  545. “But…wait, hold up a second, I…” Lyle stumbled over his words, as the combination of Lupa’s gentle embrace and the realization of what she was saying was finally enough to put him off his game. “Lemy just said…that we have the same dad.”
  546.  
  547. “Yes, he did, Lyle. Good on you for following along.” Lupa nodded playfully, a devilish grin curling on her face. “It’s also true that everyone in the room shares the same dad. And…?”
  548.  
  549. And…what? There was only one question left to ask. Lyle looked back to Lemy. “Lem…my dad…is he your dad too, or your uncle…” He trailed off for a moment, before giving into the need to add the obvious, yet unthinkable third option. “Or…is he…”
  550.  
  551. “Yeah…he’s both.” Lemy sighed as he answered before Lyle could stammer it out. “My uncle and my dad…because my mom is his sister.”
  552.  
  553. “Same here. And Lacy too. Well, Lina, Gloom and Marla are the same as you, Lyle, but…well, you get it, right?” Lupa chuckled to herself as she let Lyle go. “If you were wondering why Lem was all secretive about this…that’s why. Gotta keep quiet about this little freak club, y’know?”
  554.  
  555. ***
  556.  
  557. An introduction to the insanity you just got signed up for…Lemy’s explanation for Lyle about what he had to tell him after school.
  558.  
  559. Honestly, when you hear the term ‘insanity’ bandied about, whatever is going on that the term is used for usually fails to live up to it. It’s hard for something to actually be insane. Crazy, maybe…that’s a gentler shade. Like, ‘your dad that you just met couldn’t keep it in his pants, and now you’re surrounded by his lovechildren’? That’s crazy. You could even say its bananas crazy. But it’s not insane. It’s within the realm of possibility, at least.
  560.  
  561. But when you add, ‘and half of those lovechildren are products of incest’ to the mix? Yeah, that’ll do it. That train went well past Crazytown and is ticketed for Insanity Valley.
  562.  
  563. And yet…even as Lyle reflected on how insane it would be for such a situation to happen, here he was. Surrounded by his newly discovered siblings…and, for a few, cousin-siblings. Sib-cousins? What was the protocol there?
  564.  
  565. To those they were passing on the street, they probably looked like any other bunch of kids walking home from school…well, though the girl in the frills might stand out a bit, he supposed. But Lyle was overly aware now of what they actually were.
  566.  
  567. A ‘freak club’, huh. Yeah, if someone actually knew what was going on, ‘freak’ probably would be the term they’d use for them, wouldn’t it.
  568.  
  569. They had stayed in the classroom for only a few minutes after Lemy dropped the bomb, while Lyle stumbled around his words a bit as he tried to process the information he had just been given. It was at about the point where he could almost talk again that Lupa suggested the group head ‘home’, since Lyle would probably have a lot of questions that they wouldn’t be able to answer here. Also Lemy’s way of doing this was dumb and he was dumb for thinking of it, which led to a protest from him, and an argument, and…well, anyway, the group was now en route to the Loud residence.
  570.  
  571. “Yooou’ve been quiet.” Lyle’s thoughts were interrupted as Lemy slowed down and walked next to him. “Whatcha thinking about, bro?”
  572.  
  573. Lyle barely looked in Lemy’s direction as he simply continued to walk in the same steady pace he had been. “Just…there’s a lot to think about, you know? A lot of new information I need to process.”
  574.  
  575. “Hey, I hear you. Honestly, if I hadn’t come up with it, I’d think our family was batshit crazy too.” Lemy nodded as he matched Lyle’s pace. “You’re holding up pretty well, all things considered.”
  576.  
  577. “Well, if we’re being honest, I can honestly admit that there’s been more than a few times that I’ve wondered if now’s the point where I wake up back in Texas, laughing about this weird-ass dream.” Lyle chuckled dryly. “Was it like that for you guys when you found out?”
  578.  
  579. “Eh, it’s different for everybody, really. Mine was full of loud swearing and some truly brutal epithets, so you’re already doing better than me on that front.” Lemy shrugged, before pointing to the other girls. “Lacy and Gloom probably dealt with it best. Lina was more like me, but she got over it quick. Marla has…not…and Lupa…well…less said there, the better. After that…uh…”
  580.  
  581. “‘After that’…?” Lyle gave his brother a quizzical look. “Meaning there’s more of us than the ones I just met?”
  582.  
  583. “Dude, we’re just the middle school crew.” It was now Lemy’s turn to laugh dryly. “There’s like another…ten of us, I think. And those are just the ones we know about, if Dad isn’t hiding anymore old girlfriends in other states, anyway.”
  584.  
  585. Lyle’s incredulous gaze snapped back to Lemy, before shifting to shock as he realized Lemy still wasn’t messing with him about this. Wordlessly, Lyle started to do some quick math on his hands, before quietly mumbling, “…plus Marla, so…seventeen? Is that right?”
  586.  
  587. “Ah…uh, yeah, I guess.” Lemy did the mental math for a second before he clearly stopped caring. “Again…assuming no more surprises like you, of course.”
  588.  
  589. Lyle had his head in his hands for a moment, letting out a slow groan before he muttered, “Good God, Dad, did you really hate condoms THAT much…?”
  590.  
  591. “Hah…can’t say I don’t feel you, bro.” Lemy had a wry look on his face as they turned a corner. “Anyway, that’s kinda why we’re heading back home…give you a fuller picture of what the crew’s like, you know? Lupa may have been a bitch the way she said it, but she had a point.”
  592.  
  593. “Right…I get you.” Lyle took his head out of his hands to follow Lemy. “So, by the crew…who are we talking about? Who lives at your place?”
  594.  
  595. “Oh…well, those of us…uh…” Lemy glanced around, noticing the handful of other people within earshot of them on the street, before he continued, in a quieter tone, “…the ones in…my situation. You get me, right?”
  596.  
  597. “Ah…” Lyle got the message. The sib-cousins thing. “Right…I get you.”
  598.  
  599. “Yeah, it’s kind of a family home…out of the way…well, WAY out of the way.” Lemy pointed up the road as he continued to walk. “It’s a pretty solid walk from the middle school, but the high school’s a little closer. So we’ll have that to look forward to when we join Liby up there.”
  600.  
  601. “Uh huh…Liby?” Lyle arched an eyebrow. “Another sister?”
  602.  
  603. “Yeah…one of us, before you ask.” Lemy motioned to himself, Lacy and Lupa. “She’s fourteen, so a freshman now, and…well, she’s kind of a fan of corny jokes, so be ready for that, and…”
  604.  
  605. “AND she’s totally Lemy’s favorite sister, and he actually loves all her corny jokes, and wishes she’d keep telling them to him all the time? Aw, That’s so nice, Lemy!”
  606.  
  607. The last part of that conversation came from a new voice that Lyle did not recognize, though by the sudden grimace that was curling on his brother’s face, he had an inkling that Lemy did recognize it. Turning around, Lemy sighed and grumbled, “Oh…hey, Lib. You’re out early.”
  608.  
  609. Lyle also turned to see the new member of their walking group, a girl with light brown, almost reddish hair and a truly impressive bit of headgear. She smirked at Lemy as she walked behind him, saying, “Well, we had a school assembly, and it ended a while before last bell, so they let us go early. Lucky for me, huh? So, anything else you want to say, or are you gonna introduce me to your friend here?”
  610.  
  611. “No, I’m good, so…this is Lyle.” Lemy rolled his eyes as he patted Lyle on the shoulder. “Lyle, this would be Liby.”
  612.  
  613. “Ah…hi, Liby. Nice to meet you.” Lyle stifled his laughter from Lemy’s quick change in personality as he politely smiled at Liby, before offering her his hand. “Lyle James.”
  614.  
  615. “Well, hello there, Lyle!” Liby returned a smile of her own. “I’m Liby Loud, Lemy’s cousin, and…”
  616.  
  617. “Ah…actually…” Lemy waved a hand in the air as he interrupted Liby. “You don’t need to do that…the cousin thing.”
  618.  
  619. “Huh? Oh…ooooohh. I see.” A confused look on Liby’s face quickly gave way to a shrewd smirk. “I get it. So, if we’re fine talking about it around him, I assume Lyle here must be the cause of last night’s…argument, then?”
  620.  
  621. “Well, Dad’s the cause of the argument, as usual.” Lemy looked a bit sulky as the topic of the ‘argument’ came up. “Lyle just happened to be the latest flashpoint for all of that.”
  622.  
  623. “This argument would be that ‘long night of cussing and rage’ you mentioned this morning, then?” Lyle asked, to which his metalhead brother gave a nod in the affirmative. “Well, I can kinda guess how that went down, considering how you reacted yesterday at school…”
  624.  
  625. “Yeah, Lemy really came in hot last night!” Liby suddenly leaned in, the smile on her face practically beaming. “I almost mistook him for a train, because he was STEAMING!”
  626.  
  627. It took everything Lyle had in him to keep walking without missing a beat after that. He almost face-faulted from how awful that pun was.
  628.  
  629. “Hah? Get it? Get it?” Between Liby’s big grin, and the wiggling of her eyebrows as she watched Lyle’s expression…did…did she actually think that was a good joke?
  630.  
  631. Lyle was still internally sussing out the proper politesse to deal with this situation when Lemy let out a guttural groan, turned to Liby and griped, “My god, Lib, that was HORRIFIC. Seriously?”
  632.  
  633. “Aw, really?” Liby pouted a bit. “And I thought that was a pretty good one.”
  634.  
  635. “You think they’re ALL good ones. And almost all of them are heinously bad.” Lemy glanced over to his brother. “C’mon Lyle, back me up here.”
  636.  
  637. Lyle’s gaze darted from Lemy to Liby quickly, before a smirk curled on his face as he said, “I dunno, Lem, I don’t think it was too bad. Maybe it needs a little work, but I thought it was okay. Steaming. Heh.”
  638.  
  639. He took a moment to soak in the expressions from the two walking alongside him–Lemy’s quickly souring reaction to Liby’s thankful face – before Liby turned to Lem and triumphantly said, “Heheh…looks like at least ONE of my brothers has a sense of humor! Lemy, you should learn from Lyle a little bit!”
  640.  
  641. Lemy grumbled as he shook his head a bit, but before he could say anything, the white-haired girl walking ahead of them slowed her pace to join the three at the back, wrapping her arm around Liby’s neck. “Hey Lib, you having a slam-Lemy contest back here without me? You know you gotta invite me when you start one of those.”
  642.  
  643. “Oh…hey Lupa.” Though initially caught off-guard by the sudden embrace, Liby quickly recovered and slung her own arm over her sister’s shoulders. “Nah, I just told a killer joke to Lyle and Lemy, and only ONE of them got why it was so good. It’s just nice to have a brother who appreciates good comedy, you know?”
  644.  
  645. “Ahuh…he liked your joke, huh…?” Lupa gave Lyle a knowing look, before pulling Liby to the front of the group. “Well, anyway, don’t hang with these losers…c’mon, Lace wants you to tell her about high school clubs.”
  646.  
  647. With that, Liby joined the rest of the girls a few steps ahead of the boys, giving them enough distance for Lemy to lean in towards Lyle and mutter, “…seriously? That was ‘okay’? How hard was it to keep up that lie with a straight face?”
  648.  
  649. “Comes with practice. Maybe I’ll teach you about it.” Lyle’s smirk widened a bit as Lemy continued to scowl. “Also, it’s important to keep up a good first impression. I don’t want to burn any bridges before I have to, y’know?”
  650.  
  651. His brother snorted at that. “This after what you said to Gwen in homeroom yesterday?”
  652.  
  653. “One, I had to squash that girly crap right there. Didn’t want to let that linger.” Lyle held up a finger, raising a second as he continued, “And two, just because I don’t like to burn bridges doesn’t mean I can’t recognize when there won’t be any chance of that bridge staying up. Unless you think me being nice to Gwen would have led to her laying off…?”
  654.  
  655. “Nah, you were right there. That’s a bridge to nowhere, trying to play nice with Gwen.” Lemy shook his head, a smile breaking through the scowl as they mocked their classmate. Before he continued his thought, though, he looked up, noticing something in the distance, to which he pointed and said, “We’re almost there…that’s our place.”
  656.  
  657. Lyle looked towards where Lemy was pointing, until he noticed the building, which…stood out just a bit. It was a white home, with a reddish-brown tile roof, but the thing that really stood out was its size. It was too large to be called a normal house, at least three stories high, maybe with space for an attic too, and a little lookout tower poking out the top. As Lyle looked around, he realized that there weren’t that many other houses in the neighborhood, and the ones that were nearby weren’t nearly so large, looking more like average homes, which made the one Lemy was pointing to stand out even more.
  658.  
  659. Lyle thought for just a moment before turning to Lemy and muttering, “And…you guys were trying NOT to draw attention to yourselves by living here?”
  660.  
  661. “Well, we knew that we would draw attention no matter where we went…the family’s too big not to.” Lemy sheepishly shrugged, in a kind of ‘nothing we can do about it’ manner. “My aunts went with a more secluded area to make up for that. This street’s a one-way, and we’re way down it…and the only other folks in the neighborhood are quiet old-timers who don’t pry that much. So it all works out ok.”
  662.  
  663. “Wait, your aunts?” Lyle continued to question Lemy. “I thought this was our Dad’s place?”
  664.  
  665. “Well, yeah…it’s also that,” answered Lemy. “Cause he also lives here…he and Aunt Lana are kind of the caretakers of the place. She fixes stuff, he manages us kids. But I think Aunt Lori’s the one who owns it, and…”
  666.  
  667. “Okay, wait. Let’s hold up one second.” Lyle made a slowing motion with his hands. “So I don’t keep stopping you every few seconds…how big is your family, exactly? How many people live here?”
  668.  
  669. “Oh…well, Aunt Lori and Aunt Leni have a place in Detroit, so they split time…my mom’s the same, she’s here part time because she tours…but if you include them, that’s…” Lemy did the quick math in his head. “…Twenty-one of us?”
  670.  
  671. “…ah.” Lyle glanced back at the house again. “…okay, yeah, I’m seeing why you might need a place this big. Still…twenty-one people in one house?”
  672.  
  673. “Yeah…Dad and his ten sisters, plus the ten of us kids…it gets crowded.” Lemy explained, with a sigh. “The adults didn’t want the family to have to split up, so…this was what they came up with.”
  674.  
  675. “Uh huh…” Lyle looked back at the house, taking in how much it stood out. “I’m just saying, I dunno how this has worked out for you guys that the government hasn’t noticed all this. A house with a brother and his sisters, and their multiple kids with unknown fathers? Sounds like it might draw some attention, right?”
  676.  
  677. “Got me as to how it works, but it has so far. Maybe Aunt Lisa did something to…you know what, forget I mentioned it.” Lemy abruptly ended the conversation.
  678.  
  679. “What? What could…” Intrigued, Lyle tried to continue the train of thought, but…
  680.  
  681. “Noooope.” Lemy quickly cut him off. “Don’t ask. Don’t even think about asking. And then, take that thought about thinking about asking, and get rid of it. You don’t want to know. And…and this part is REALLY important…do NOT go in the sub-basement once we’re home, okay?”
  682.  
  683. Lyle took in Lemy’s slightly panicked face for a second before quietly asking, “…you have a sub-basement?”
  684.  
  685. “Officially? No, of course not. That’s a weird thing to have, and it would be super suspicious if we did have one, right?” Lemy joked to play off some of the tension. “Actually? Well…yeah. But you do NOT want to go down there. Trust me on this.”
  686.  
  687. This was the first time Lyle had seen Lemy this shaken, including yesterday after he had figured out what was up with Lyle and Lincoln. He kinda wanted to figure out a little more, but felt like he’d cut his brother some slack for now and nodded, saying, “Okay…you got it, Lem.”
  688.  
  689. “Right…good. Well…” Lemy motioned to the front door of the house, which they had finally gotten to by this point, with all the girls having beaten them inside. “Come on in, I guess.”
  690.  
  691. Lyle nodded, taking a bit of a breath before he entered. To his surprise, the main room on the first floor was just a simple living room, not that different from the one he had at home with Mom…maybe even the same size, which seemed ridiculous, considering the size of the house. But then, thinking about it, with twenty-one people, they probably needed most of the space for bedrooms, didn’t they?
  692.  
  693. “Looks like the girls went ahead of us…huh, wonder who else is home…” Lemy dropped his backpack as he ducked into the next room. Before he left completely, though, he looked back to Lyle and said, “Lyle, you can take a seat for a sec…I’m just gonna take a quick swing around to see who else is here. Be right back.”
  694.  
  695. “’Kay…” Lyle gave Lemy a thumbs up, and with that Lemy went further into the house. Alone for a moment, Lyle glanced around the living room. Nothing much looked unusual…granted, their TV was much bigger, but he guessed if you could afford a house this big, a giant TV wasn’t shocking. The one thing his eyes did land on was a picture hanging on one of the walls…one with a couple dozen people jammed in, filling every inch of space in the shot.
  696.  
  697. Lyle looked it over quickly, seeing some familiar faces right away. There was Lemy, off to the left-hand side…he looked just a bit younger, so he figured this must have been taken a little while ago, maybe a year or two. Liby, Lacy, and Lupa were also there, standing next to adult women who they resembled quite a bit…their moms, he guessed. There were a few other girls, too, and other women who they resembled…wow, it really was a lot of girls there. Lemy was the only boy…aside from Dad, who was standing on the right of the photo, next to Lacy and her mom.
  698.  
  699. “That’s the Loud family, huh…” Lyle muttered under his breath. “Well, I’ve got a lot of introductions to make…”
  700.  
  701. “You sure do, newbie. Aren’t you lucky you’ve got a friend like me to help with that?”
  702.  
  703. Lyle heard the voice from behind him. For a split second, he failed to recognize it, and turned towards it, half-expecting it might be another Loud…only for him to realize, too late, that he did indeed know that voice.
  704.  
  705. Before he could react, he found himself tightly gripped, one arm around his neck and the other holding his hands back. Holding him tight, Gwen Richards smirked and muttered, “C’mon, newbie…let’s go meet your family, shall we?”
  706.  
  707. “Wha…ergh!” Lyle could barely turn his head to look at Gwen as she held him in a tight choke-lock. “What the heck are you doing here?”
  708.  
  709. “Aw, what, not happy to see me?” Gwen laughed as she replied, “Well, tough shit, cause I’ll have you know I’m an honored guest here. They let me come and go as I please.”
  710.  
  711. “That…so…?” Lyle continued to struggle to pretty much no avail. Annoyingly, she was stronger than she looked. He just added that onto the list of annoyances about this girl as he grumbled, “What, are you…part of the family too, or…”
  712.  
  713. “Nah, I’m not part of this freak show. Just friends with the best one.” With that, Gwen started pulling Lyle back with her, walking towards the stairs. “Speaking of, you said it yourself, that you’ve got a bunch of introductions to make, didn’t ya? I know one Loud who is dying to say hello to you, so why don’t you come…with…me!”
  714.  
  715. “Oh…I…dunno!” Lyle dug in his heels, starting to make some headway against Gwen’s grip. “I was…thinking about…doing things…my way! It wouldn’t be…right, if someone…else…”
  716.  
  717. “Gweeeen, have you still not got him, yet? If you take too long, Loud’ll be back, and I’ll have to hear him be all annoying.”
  718.  
  719. Lyle’s head turned to the new voice that had called out, coming from the stairs. Standing at the top and walking over to him was another girl, wearing the same uniform as Gwen was, with dark skin and glasses. After a second, Lyle realized he’d seen this girl, too…she was the one Gwen had been whispering to this morning, sitting with her at homeroom.
  720.  
  721. “Hang on, Marsh, he’s…coming! Just…a little bit…” Gwen continued to pull, but Lyle was fighting her to a standstill now.
  722.  
  723. “Hah…this’ll take forever, Gwen.” The other girl…Marsha, Lyle remembered her name…walked over to the two of them. “Here, I’ll help hurry this up.”
  724.  
  725. “Oh…yeah?” Lyle started talking back to Marsha while trying to untangle himself from Gwen’s hold. “And how…exactly…do you…”
  726.  
  727. “Lyle James…12 years old, born on February 23, 2026, in Austin, Texas, to his mother, Jordan James, out of wedlock…father unknown…well, previously unknown, anyway…Currently attending Royal Woods Middle School, where he is in the 7th grade, after transferring in from his previous middle school in Round Rock, Texas…”
  728.  
  729. Lyle froze. He looked over to Marsha, who was standing next to them, looking at her phone, as she started rattling off information about his life. “Wha…?”
  730.  
  731. “Continuing on…Jordan James…” Marsha didn’t bother to look at Lyle as she kept reading off her phone, occasionally scrolling up whatever she was reading off of. “Graduated from the University of Texas at Austin in May 2030, with a Doctor of Pharmacy degree...Worked at the CVS on University Boulevard, Round Rock, Texas, living at 907 Wood Mesa Drive in Round Rock, both until 2038, when she moved to…”
  732.  
  733. Marsha’s spiel stopped…or rather, WAS stopped…when Lyle reached out and grabbed for the phone, only for Marsha to pull it just out of his reach. Lyle gave her a fierce glare, which also failed to faze her, before he growled, “What the hell do you…?”
  734.  
  735. “Is there a problem?” Marsha tilted her head as she returned Lyle’s glare with the same bored look she had on since she came up the stairs. “I’m not doing anything troublesome, am I? All I’m doing is reading off some public information, after all…heck, most of it came from your mom’s own Facebook account.”
  736.  
  737. Lyle’s glare didn’t let up. “And what do you intend to do with this information?”
  738.  
  739. “Oh…I dunno.” Marsha shrugged. “Hadn’t really thought about it.”
  740.  
  741. Playing dumb. This girl was showing off that she knew, or could find out, whatever she wanted about Lyle and his mom. That’s an obvious implied threat.
  742.  
  743. Lyle thought about it for another second before asking, “So…who am I meeting, now?”
  744.  
  745. ***
  746.  
  747. “Hey, Leia. We brought him.”
  748.  
  749. The girl sitting in the room Lyle was brought to…well, first off, he’d be damned if she was older than ten. She sure wasn’t his age–he, Gwen and Marsha all had a couple inches on her at least, even when he factored in the big poofy pigtails that made her look a bit bigger than she was. Still, in spite of that, there was an air around her of…he didn’t know how to say it. Not quite maturity…seriousness, he supposed. Somehow, he got the feeling that this little girl was more serious than others her age, as he watched her sip tea at the elegant little table set up in the quite girly looking room he’d been brought to, down in the basement.
  750.  
  751. She finished taking her sip and placed the teacup down elegantly before turning to the three that had just entered her room. “Ah…thanks, girls. I was worried you had gotten held up, but it looks like that was misplaced. So, Lyle…James, is it?”
  752.  
  753. “…yeah, that’s me.” Lyle shrugged lightly as he continued to size the girl up. “These two tell you about me?”
  754.  
  755. “No, actually…I heard about you last night, when Lemy went on the warpath after getting home from school yesterday.” The girl stood up from her chair, and walked over to Lyle, now sizing him up. “Though Gwen and Marsha did fill me in on a few…additional details.”
  756.  
  757. “…ah huh…” Lyle absentmindedly replied as he continued to look the girl over. Now that she was standing in front of him, he realized that his estimate of ‘a couple inches’ was actually a bit generous to her…poofy pigtails aside, she came up to about his nose. “Did those ‘additional details’ include how I told Grabby here off the first time I saw her?”
  758.  
  759. “…hmm. They might have. Good on you for figuring that out.” The girl flashed a mischievous little smirk as she glanced up at Lyle. “Looks like you catch on quite a bit quicker than most of the family, in any case.”
  760.  
  761. “The family, huh…” Lyle gazed down to look the girl in the eyes. “So that would make you another surprise sibling of mine, then?”
  762.  
  763. “Correct. Leia Loud. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lyle.” Leia took a step back and curtseyed a bit before looking back up to Lyle. “Now, why don’t you come on in…take a seat. It beats standing in the doorway, doesn’t it?”
  764.  
  765. Out of the corner of his eye, Lyle noticed Marsha grabbing a couple chairs away from the tea table. Three were set up in a slightly curved row, all facing an isolated fourth chair. You know, the kind of setup a dark council of inquisitors might use when preparing to inquisite someone.
  766.  
  767. Still, he figured he could withstand a little inquisition. That, and he got the feeling that refusing would not be the best move he could make in the short-term. “Kay then…” he said, taking the lone seat that was obviously set up for him.
  768.  
  769. Leia smirked as Lyle took his seat, before walking around him and taking the seat in the center of the mini-row. Gwen and Marsha quickly grabbed the seats to Leia’s right and left, respectively, and there they were. Dark council go.
  770.  
  771. “Now then, Lyle…” Leia folded her hands as she spoke. “How long have you been living in Royal Woods now? A week? Two?”
  772.  
  773. “Eh…ten days, I think.” Lyle shrugged. “Most of that was spent moving things and unpacking, though, so it feels like less.”
  774.  
  775. “Still, quite a short time…and yet, in spite of how short it’s been since your life was thrown upside down, you had to deal with it being flipped for a second time when you met Daddy.” Leia nodded to herself as she continued. “So I’d believe it if you told me these last ten days have been…hectic for you. And it’s difficult for anyone to keep up with that.”
  776.  
  777. “Uh huh…” Lyle nonchalantly replied. “I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming.”
  778.  
  779. “There isn’t, actually.” Leia shook her head. “It is hard for someone to keep up with what you’re going through. And knowing that, I’m offering you a second chance.”
  780.  
  781. “…really now.” Lyle leaned back against his chair. “A second chance at…what, exactly?”
  782.  
  783. “At…making an impression, I suppose.” Leia though for a moment before once again continuing, “It’s no secret to anyone here that you and my dear friend Gwen…got off on the wrong foot, let’s say.”
  784.  
  785. “That’s true.” Lyle nodded, then glanced to Gwen. “Just to say it for the record, though…she was the one who started it.”
  786.  
  787. “Yes…yes she was.” Leia glanced to her right, where Gwen simply shrugged back. “Of course, she didn’t know then what we all know now. That you are one of Daddy’s children, and thus, my brother. And that changes the situation greatly. You see, I don’t like to get involved in what Gwen and Marsha do at school…who they mess with is their business…but, when it comes to my family, they know I’d prefer if they played nice.”
  788.  
  789. “…really.” The skepticism was dripping from Lyle’s reply. “Considering how Lemy’s told me that these two mess with him all the time, I find that hard to believe.”
  790.  
  791. “Ah. Lemy. Right.” Leia rolled her eyes. “Allow me to amend that statement, then: family that I like.”
  792.  
  793. “Mmhmm.” Ouch. Lyle could feel Lemy get thrown under the bus there. “Carry on, then.”
  794.  
  795. “In any case, had Gwen known at the time that you were my brother, I’m sure she would have shown that restraint…and thus, there’d be no reason for any discord between the two of you.” Leia clapped her hands together, a genuine-looking smile spreading across her face. “So, why don’t we forget it happened, then? You forget Gwen started anything, she forgets you returned the favor, and the two of you start off fresh. Chalk that incident up to a tiring move and leave it at that. Doesn’t that sound good to you?”
  796.  
  797. “What…like ‘water under the bridge’?” Now Lyle was the one wearing a smirk. “You just snap your fingers, and it’s forgotten?”
  798.  
  799. “Yep…Just like that.” The smile didn’t dim from Leia’s face. “After all, I’m sure you’d like a fresh start as much as we would, right?”
  800.  
  801. “Hmmm…interesting.” Lyle folded his arms, making a show out of thinking about it. “And the whole grappling session we had upstairs, when she…invited me down here…I have to forget about that to, don’t I?”
  802.  
  803. “Well…yes, you’d have to forgive that as well, I guess.” After thinking over it for a moment, Leia answered with a wave of her hand. “We’ll add that to the pile of ‘things to ignore’ list, so you two don’t get off on the wrong foot, and…”
  804.  
  805. “Just so I know…” Lyle interrupted Leia. “What happens if I say ‘no’ to that offer?”
  806.  
  807. Leia went quiet for a moment. A smirk crawled across Gwen’s face, as she and Marsha both glanced the younger girl’s way. Finally, the smile returned to Leia’s face, but it was empty of any of the fake cheer that was behind it before, as she replied, “In that case…you’d be getting off on the wrong foot with me as well, Lyle.”
  808.  
  809. There was a clear threatening tone to that. But this was different from the implied threats Marsha was giving Lyle upstairs. There was something much more…sinister in the way Leia had said that. Something that was rather disturbing to see out of such a young girl.
  810.  
  811. “Alright then…I guess that can work…” Lyle trailed off, giving Leia the idea that he was finished, before he quickly piped back up with, “…on one condition.”
  812.  
  813. “…oh? Interesting…” Leia’s eyebrow arched as she leaned in towards Lyle. “And that condition would be…”
  814.  
  815. “What SHE did upstairs…” Lyle pointed now to Marsha, who barely batted an eye at being brought into the conversation. “…that stops now. You have her delete everything she’s been putting together…about me and my mom. And she never goes there again.”
  816.  
  817. “Ah…hmmm…” Leia flicked her gaze over to Marsha, who was still unfazed. “That would be me sticking my nose into their business…why should I do that, Lyle?”
  818.  
  819. “Because you’re nice enough to not invade our privacy?” Lyle joked, chuckling a bit at the eye-roll he got from Leia there. “How about as a show of good will, then?”
  820.  
  821. “Hah…good will, huh…?” Leia seemed a bit displeased, as she leaned forward, resting her head on her arm. “I’d think that being willing to let bygones be bygones was enough of a show of ‘good will’, so…”
  822.  
  823. “No? Well, let me put it this way, then…” Lyle leaned forward, getting on Leia’s eye level, as he eliminated any trace of a joking tone from his voice and told her, “…if you don’t do that, then it’ll be YOU getting off on the wrong foot with ME, Leia.”
  824.  
  825. His tone with that statement was deadly serious. Leia’s eyes widened a bit, but she managed to keep her composure for the most part. But the message was sent, just like she had sent hers when she said a nearly identical line just a minute ago.
  826.  
  827. “Hmmm…heheheh. Well, aren’t you a fun one…” Leia straightened her body out, smiling now as she turned to Marsha and nodded.
  828.  
  829. “Mmhmm…” Even though she wasn’t looking Leia’s way, Marsha murmured affirmatively, pulling her phone out and rapidly tapping on the screen. “All set…it’s gone.”
  830.  
  831. “And…in the future…?” Lyle glanced Marsha’s way.
  832.  
  833. “Little paranoid, aren’t ya?” Marsha glanced up at Lyle, but his withering gaze held firm. She eventually just waved him off and said, “Fine, fine…I promise I won’t go digging up anymore info about you or your mom. Scout’s honor.”
  834.  
  835. “…alright then.” Lyle eyed her warily, but figured that was the best he was gonna get out this. Turning back to his sister, he straightened up and said, “Okay, Leia…yesterday is done, then. Bygones, and all that. We good?”
  836.  
  837. “Yes…we are, Lyle.” The small girl’s smile widened a bit. “Well, I think we’re done here…thank you for hearing us out. Now then, we can…”
  838.  
  839. “Hey, Twerp.”
  840.  
  841. “Gyaaah!” All four participants of the meeting shot out of their seats at the sudden appearance of a fifth voice, coming from behind Lyle. After the shock wore off, Lyle realized that he remembered this scene from earlier. He looked up, and sure enough, there was Lupa, having materialized in the center of the room.
  842.  
  843. “Lupa! How many times have I told you NOT to do that!” Leia recovered first, anger evident on her face. “…and what have I told you about coming into my room!”
  844.  
  845. “What, like I could turn down an opportunity to get four of you at once?” The devilish smirk that Lyle was getting used to seeing on Lupa’s face showed up once again. “And you’re one to talk…what’s with abducting our new brother while our backs are turned to put him through a Bad Bitches Brigade meeting?”
  846.  
  847. “I’m sure I don’t know WHAT you’re talking about.” Leia threw her hair back to add emphasis. “LYLE here came down here to introduce himself to me. That’s all there…”
  848.  
  849. “Pffft…yeah, right. Like you’re fooling anyone.” Lupa blew Leia off. “Your lackeys wouldn’t have bothered hurrying here after school if that was the case.”
  850.  
  851. “Hey, hey…Trying to say something?” Gwen got up now, getting into Lupa’s face. “If you got something to say to me, then why don’t we…”
  852.  
  853. “Can it, Lackey A. I don’t have time for your yapping.” Lupa quickly brushed Gwen off. “Why don’t you go bark at Lemy…he’s right upstairs. And hey, maybe today’s your lucky day, and he’ll notice that for all your tough words, what you really want is for him to ride you hard and put you away wet.”
  854.  
  855. Whatever reply she was thinking of died in Gwen’s throat. Lyle stared at Lupa, mouth agape. He honestly couldn’t believe she had said that here. That was a declaration of war if he’d heard one.
  856.  
  857. “Wait…‘ride’? What does that mean?”
  858.  
  859. The one who broke the silence was Leia, and Lyle was once again shocked, this time by the fact that the younger girl looked completely oblivious at to what had just been said. She glanced at Gwen and Marsha as she asked, “Ride…like a pony? Is that right? But then, what does ‘wet’…?”
  860.  
  861. “Stop-stop-stop!” Marsha clapped her hands around Leia’s ears. “Just forget all that!”
  862.  
  863. “Y-yeah! Ignore it, Leia!” Gwen also swung over to Leia’s side. “That’s not stuff you need to know right now!”
  864.  
  865. “What! What do you…hey!” Leia protested as the older girls embraced her. “What’s going on?!”
  866.  
  867. “Don’t worry about it for now! It’s…something you can ignore for now!” Marsha held firm, now hugging her as she blocked her ears. “You’ll learn about it when you’re older!”
  868.  
  869. “Hahahah…oh man. Works every time.” Lupa laughed as she watched the bizarre spectacle unfold. “I’ll never get over watching the two of you try to keep her from hearing any mention of…”
  870.  
  871. “Shut up! Stop trying to corrupt our innocent princess!” Gwen turned and yelled at Lupa, her face beet-red. “Just get outta here, you skank!”
  872.  
  873. “Yeah, yeah, I’m going…hey Lyle?” Lupa turned to the door, motioning to Lyle as she did so. “Ready to bail?”
  874.  
  875. Lyle looked up at Lupa, then back over the three girls who barely moments ago had been putting him through the whole inquisition thing. Shaking his head, he got up and nodded, saying, “Yeah, I…think I’m good here.”
  876.  
  877. “Alright, cool.” Lupa waved as she opened the door. “Let’s go, then…later, girls.”
  878.  
  879. With that, Lupa and Lyle walked out of Leia’s room, closing the door behind them. The sound of the three girls still in the room faded as soon as the door was shut, and were now barely above a whisper.
  880.  
  881. “…soundproof?” Lyle glanced at Lupa, who nodded. “Why would you need…?”
  882.  
  883. “The whole house is…not just her room.” Lupa answered the question before he could ask it. “Aunt Lori wasn’t sure which room would be Aunt Luna’s, so she played it safe and soundproofed them all.”
  884.  
  885. “Uh huh…okay then.” Lyle looked back to the door, as the sound of argument in the room were now fading further. “So…wanna explain what that was all about?”
  886.  
  887. “Heheh…yeah. Leia…girl might act like a mob boss, but she’s still just eight.” Lupa’s smirked widened a bit. “So, being eight, she’s still not that clear on what sex is all about. And those two are committed to her not finding out yet…for some reason. That ‘innocent princess’ biz, or…whatever. I don’t really care.”
  888.  
  889. “Right…well, I guess thank you?” Lyle sheepishly scratched the back of his head. “I dunno how much longer I would have been in there with them, but you bailed me out, so…”
  890.  
  891. “Eh, don’t mention it.” Lupa waved him off. “Really, I was just in it to mess with Leia, so helping you out was just a little bonus.”
  892.  
  893. “Sure, I get that…” Lyle shrugged, but a nagging thought at the back of his mind had him continue with, “Still, aren’t you worried about those two? Even if you’re Leia’s family, they might try and get back at you at school…I was told they don’t have to hold back on family she doesn’t like.”
  894.  
  895. “Pfft…yeah, I’d like to see them try.” Lupa giggled as she turned and started walking down the hallway. “There’s more than one way to avoid having to hear from her Bitch Squad. One is for her to like you, sure, but the other is if she’s afraid of you. Granted, that’s just me and Lyra for now, but trust me, it’s a lot more secure being feared by Leia than being liked.”
  896.  
  897. “…kay then…” Having nothing better to do, and figuring this was the best conversation he was likely to get out of Lupa, Lyle followed her down the hall. “So…that thing about Gwen and Lemy…?”
  898.  
  899. “That wasn’t a joke. Once you see them together, you’ll realize how obvious it is.” Lupa laughed again. “Lemy’s just dense about it. Still, he’ll figure it out one day, and then I’ll probably come home to her as a sloppy mess on the couch. Looking forward to it, actually…that’ll be good blackmail material.”
  900.  
  901. “Huh…that was alarmingly specific.” Lyle rolled his eyes, then realized something…they had passed the stairs going up a few steps ago. Looking back to Lupa, he tentatively asked, “So hey…where are we going, exactly?”
  902.  
  903. “Sub-basement…I got told to let everyone down there know when dinner’ll be.” Lupa flashed another devilish grin to Lyle as she glanced over to him. “Why, that a problem?”
  904.  
  905. “The…sub-basement?” Lyle glanced at Lupa, Lemy’s warning to him from earlier flashing through his head. “I was told by a reliable source not to go in the sub-basement.”
  906.  
  907. “What, Lemy told you that?” Lupa’s grin only widened further. “Why did he say you needed to stay out?”
  908.  
  909. “He…” Lyle thought about it for a second, before he answered, “…actually, he didn’t give me a reason. But he was…pretty adamant that I shouldn’t go down there. Why, is there something…I dunno, dangerous down there?”
  910.  
  911. “No, no, of course not…I mean…” Lupa looked Lyle over quickly, before cryptically finishing her comment, “…not for me anyway.”
  912.  
  913. With that, Lupa stopped walking. Lyle turned his gaze to in front of him, and realized they were at the end of the basement hallway. Before them was a staircase, going down, with a single light midway down the stairs, where the stairway turned in the other direction, being the only source of illumination. Lupa turned to Lyle, motioning her head towards the stairs as she asked, “So…gonna join me?”
  914.  
  915. Lyle stared down the stairs for a moment before turning to Lupa and muttering, “There’s no way you’re gonna tell me what’s down there if I don’t go with you, is there?”
  916.  
  917. “Hey, look at that.” Lupa smirked. “You’re learning.”
  918.  
  919. “Yeah…guess I am.” Lyle shrugged, before waving Lupa forward. “Well, lead the way then. I’m following you.”
  920.  
  921. Lupa nodded, with a bemused look on her face, and the two of them went down the stairs. They descended to the sub-basement, and as they exited the stairwell, Lyle looked around to find…a hallway with two doors he could see. One, on his right, was labeled “Music Room” on the door. The other was…also labelled, though in a more notable way. Mainly, the door was framed by police tape–you know, the kind that reads “WARNING” and “CAUTION” and “DO NOT CROSS”–and had a bunch of stickers labeled “NO ENTRY”, “BIOHAZARD”, and “CONTAMINATION RISK” on the door.
  922.  
  923. Lyle glanced at Lupa as he pointed at the door and asked, “What, you storing chemical weapons down here?”
  924.  
  925. “Man, it would be so much cooler if that were true.” Lupa rolled her eyes at Lyle as she rapped her knuckles on the door, before calling out, “Loan! Dinner at 5:30 tonight! Dad wants you there, so don’t make us send Lyra to drag you out!”
  926.  
  927. There was no reply from the other side of the door. Regardless, Lupa put her hands back in her pockets and started walking down to the end of the hall. Lyle gave her a confused look before gazing back at the door, then back to Lupa as he started following her, asking, “Doesn’t look like anyone’s…”
  928.  
  929. “Oh, Loan’s in there, all right.” Lupa didn’t even turn back as she replied. “No response is as good as you're gonna get from her.”
  930.  
  931. “Ah…kay…” Lyle looked back at the door quickly before continuing, “So…Loan, was it? Is she…uh, shy, or…”
  932.  
  933. “Less ‘shy’ and more ‘crazy shut-in’.” Lupa interrupted Lyle with a blunt answer. “Here’s what you need to know…she’s Aunt Lori’s kid, she’s the oldest of us, and she’s got a lot of trouble dealing with…everything. That’s why I didn’t mention you, since I know you’re wondering. Hard enough to get her upstairs before she finds out there’s a new guest in the house.”
  934.  
  935. “Right…” It felt a little sad to leave it at that, but Lyle figured there wasn’t much more he could say. It wasn’t his place to get involved in the Louds’ issues, and all. He had his own issues to deal with.
  936.  
  937. “Although…” He suddenly realized Lupa was looking back at him with that all too familiar grin. “Maybe if she knew what kind of guest we had…”
  938.  
  939. “Huh…?” She was being cryptic again. “What’s that supposed to…”
  940.  
  941. “Oh, don’t worry…you’ll figure it out later.” Lupa chuckled to herself as she faced forward again. “You catch on to things faster than Lemy, so you’ll get what I mean when you meet her.”
  942.  
  943. Lyle thought about responding, but realized that all he was going to get in return was some more coy bullshit like that, so he just shrugged and moved on. He could figure it out later. For now, he had other things on his mind. Namely…Lupa had said she was sent to tell ‘everyone’ in the sub-basement about dinner, but so far there was only one bedroom that they had passed. As they turned the corner of the hallway, which seemed quite large, he saw three more doors…the one closest to him and Lupa, though, read “Music Room” again, so no one was staying there, which meant that the two doors at the end of the hallway had to be it…and yet, those two doors read “Mechanical Room – NO KIDS ALLOWED” and “Closet”.
  944.  
  945. “So wait…does anyone else live down here?” Lyle asked the girl walking ahead of him. “I mean, unless they live in the music room, there aren’t…”
  946.  
  947. “Heheh…like I said, you catch on quick…” Lupa flashed another smile as she stopped, standing in front of the door that read Closet. She grabbed the handle and opened it quick, then glanced at Lyle.
  948.  
  949. Lyle raised an eyebrow before he glanced into the room, which was…a closet. An empty closet, at that. He looked back to Lupa and asked, “What, am I supposed to be seeing something here?”
  950.  
  951. “Nope…just a normal closet here…right?” Lupa was still smirking as she closed the door. But then…her hand didn’t leave the handle, but kind of…pushed it in slightly.
  952.  
  953. Then, Lyle heard a slight rumbling noise, kind of like an engine starting up and then realized the closet door was moving…sideways. It, and the part of the wall that it was built into, were pulled into the main wall at the end of the hallway. A few seconds later, the closet was gone, and as Lyle looked in, he realized that there was a new corridor where the closet had been.
  954.  
  955. “Wha…” Lyle had many questions swirling around, but the one that managed to get out first as he turned to Lupa was “Why do you need that?”
  956.  
  957. “I dunno…Aunt Lisa put it in a couple years ago. You can ask her…” Lupa raised her hand, waving Lyle to the newly revealed room. “…if you want.”
  958.  
  959. Lyle looked back to the now open entry way, before asking, “Is her situation like Loan’s, or…”
  960.  
  961. “Nah…she’s fine with people.” Lupa shrugged. “She just needs to…hide some stuff. Is all.”
  962.  
  963. Vague. As always. This girl is going for some Miss Cryptic Comments 2038, apparently.
  964.  
  965. Welp, nothing else to it…
  966.  
  967. Lyle took a quick breath before entering the hidden corridor. It was smaller than the hallways, with three doors – two single doors on the right, one double door on the left. The plaques on the doors to the right read “Lisa’s Room” and “Lulu’s Room”, with Lisa’s door being plain and ordinary, and the door labeled for Lulu being covered in scribbles, and cute stickers.
  968.  
  969. On the right…the double doors were also plain, but they weren’t ordinary. They were made not out of wood, but of a rather solid looking metal, and emblazoned on the doors were the words “LABORATORY – NO UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY” in bright red font.
  970.  
  971. With a sigh, Lyle turned to Lupa, pointing to the metal doors as he wearily asked, “…she’s in there, isn’t she.”
  972.  
  973. “See? I barely need to explain anything.” Lupa laughed as she pushed the doors open.
  974.  
  975. “So, that ‘unauthorized entry’ stuff, we’re just…”, muttered Lyle.
  976.  
  977. “I got told to tell her about dinner. That’s authorization, all right,” Lupa said as she entered the lab. “Not that I care either way, of course.”
  978.  
  979. “Oh, right. Of course.” Lyle sarcastically replied as he followed the goth girl in.
  980.  
  981. The place was big, that was his first impression…there was a little stairway and a lift station right in front of him, and as he looked down the stairs, he realized that the laboratory had at least twice the height of any of the other floors he’d seen in this house. And from a quick glimpse, he could tell…well…it sure looked ‘secret lab’-ish, in any case.
  982.  
  983. There were these big machines all over the place, whirring, beeping, clanking, and putting out data. Alongside the far wall that he could see…and it was a FAR wall, because boy this place was big…were these large vats of different-colored but otherwise unidentifiable liquid. There were a number of desks and tables around the place, each with a few piles of papers littered on them, and some chalkboards with crazy-looking formulae written down nearby. And every now and then, he’d see a little robot whir by, carrying something to some other end of this place.
  984.  
  985. “Jeez…this place came right out of a sci-fi novel.” Lyle glanced around the room, taking in everything he could understand. “I’m just gonna go out on a limb and guess I need to keep this a secret, right?”
  986.  
  987. “Hey, what you do is your business, man.” Lupa shrugged. “I mean, I wouldn’t run my mouth about what goes on in here, because I enjoy not being a test subject, but you do you.”
  988.  
  989. “…Thanks…for the reassurance…” Lyle tried to ignore Lupa’s sniggering as he continued to scan the room. Well, there was all this crazy science stuff going on around the room, but so far, there was no sign of Aunt Lisa…or really, anyone else in the room yet…
  990.  
  991. “Ahmyuh?”
  992.  
  993. One day, he’ll learn to keep those kinds of thoughts to himself.
  994.  
  995. Lyle turned his head in the direction that voice came from. There…in between a few large machines, whirring and beeping like all the others…he saw a baby.
  996.  
  997. A single, unattended infant, with short brown hair, a pacifier in her mouth, and wearing a blue onesie, who was looking directly at Lyle, slowly starting to crawl towards where he and Lupa were.
  998.  
  999. …somehow, though he wasn’t entirely sure why, Lyle felt as though this was the scariest thing he was going to see all day.
  1000.  
  1001. “Oh…Lulu, I found you~” Lyle corrected himself–hearing Lupa sound all cheery and sing-song might have supplanted that on the scare-o-meter. She walked over, picked the baby up and asked, “Where’s your mommy, Lulu?”
  1002.  
  1003. Lulu silently looked up at Lupa, her head tilting slightly. Lupa chuckled cheerfully…again, it was really unnerving for Lyle to hear her make happy sounds… and said, “Aw, you haven’t seen her, have you? That’s ok, we’re looking for her, so we’ll help you find her. Here, Lulu…wanna meet someone new?”
  1004.  
  1005. “Guhmuh?” Through the pacifier, Lulu made some noises in reply to Lupa’s questions.
  1006.  
  1007. “Okay then, here we go…” Apparently taking that as an affirmative, Lupa shifted her arms so Lulu was looking at Lyle. “Lulu, this is Lyle…he’s our brother. Like Lemy, kind of. Can you say hi to Lyle?”
  1008.  
  1009. “Guh…Lahpuuuh.” More baby noises.
  1010.  
  1011. “Eh, close enough.” The smirk returned as Lupa walked over to Lyle. “Lyle, this here is Lulu…she’s Aunt Lisa’s baby, and almost two years old.”
  1012.  
  1013. “Oh, uh…hello, Lulu…” Lyle was a bit uncertain…he had never really been around babies that he could remember, and had no idea how to deal with them. Should…should he do something, or…
  1014.  
  1015. “Here, why don’t you hold her?” Clearly Lupa could see his discomfort, and naturally moved to make him more uncomfortable by holding Lulu out for him to take. “She’s pretty good with new people.”
  1016.  
  1017. “Oh…kay…” Nervously, Lyle held out his hands, taking Lulu from Lupa and holding her up. She was…Light? Heavy? He had no idea. Should babies weigh more or less than this? Was he holding her right?
  1018.  
  1019. “Puh…breheheh…” In his arms, Lulu made some cheery sounds that almost sounded like laughing.
  1020.  
  1021. “Ah, she likes you.” Lupa chuckled as she watched Lyle. “Looks like you’re making progress with us Louds, newbie.”
  1022.  
  1023. “Heh…I guess so…” Lyle felt his nerves loosen slightly as he looked down at Lulu, who was…swatting at something. It looked like there was a fly near her, which she was trying to wave off. “Well, I guess it’s nice, knowing that I’m doing okay with…”
  1024.  
  1025. “Guuuhreeee!!”
  1026.  
  1027. Suddenly, a very bright light filled Lyle’s vision, as Lulu let out something of a frustrated cry.
  1028.  
  1029. It took him a moment to process, even after the light faded from his vision, and he could see again.
  1030.  
  1031. But that was…
  1032.  
  1033. …huh…
  1034.  
  1035. Did…did that light just come from the baby’s eyes?
  1036.  
  1037. Also, it took a second for him to realize, but he felt something…hot…with the light too.
  1038.  
  1039. Kind of like how…lasers work, he thought?
  1040.  
  1041. It was…near his ear?
  1042.  
  1043. He turned his head, slightly mechanically, and looked behind him. There were fresh scorch marks, high up the wall, as though something powerful had just been…kind of fired at them.
  1044.  
  1045. ………huh.
  1046.  
  1047. “Ah…that’s a new one.” Lyle could hear Lupa’s voice, though he was too frozen looking at the wall to look at her. “I wonder if Aunt Lisa knows about that ‘optic blast’ trick…”
  1048.  
  1049. Lyle didn’t respond to that right away.
  1050.  
  1051. Eventually…slowly, he turned, and looked back at Lulu, who seemed to be back in cheerful-baby mode. Then, he robotically looked to Lupa, slowly holding his arms out and offering Lulu back to her.
  1052.  
  1053. “Ah…yeah.” Lupa looked slightly sheepish as she took the baby back. “Yeah, I getcha.”
  1054.  
  1055. With his hands now free, Lyle felt his ear, and the hair on the side of his head. And he realized they were warm. Not burned, but singed, he supposed. There wasn’t any pain. Just…heat.
  1056.  
  1057. At this point, Lyle slowly sat down, and some kind of low, moaning noise came out of his throat for the next couple minutes.
  1058.  
  1059. …skipping ahead a bit…
  1060.  
  1061. “You alright?” Lupa asked Lyle quietly, as Lulu was leaning on her shoulder and starting to drift off to sleep.
  1062.  
  1063. “I already said I’m fine.” Lyle tried to brush off the question. He was lying, of course. He wasn’t fine. He had just realized moments ago how close he had come to having his head lasered off. But he was trying to move past that, because he only had enough mental capacity for so many breakdowns today.
  1064.  
  1065. “Alright…I’ll believe you.” The tone of her voice suggested that Lupa did not believe him but was willing to pretend for his sake. “Let’s find Aunt Lisa so she can take care of this little X-man for us.”
  1066.  
  1067. They looked around for a bit longer, going down the rows of machines. Lyle…who had completely and totally gotten over the Lulu incident, looked over to Lupa and asked, “You sure she’s down here?”
  1068.  
  1069. “Yeah…if she wasn’t upstairs, then she has to be in here.” Lupa nodded back to Lyle. “She usually sleeps in the lab, too…honestly, I think the only time she even goes in her room is to get changed or change Lulu.”
  1070.  
  1071. “Well, couldn’t she have left the house?” Lyle followed up.
  1072.  
  1073. “She COULD, but she DOESN’T.” Lupa shrugged. “I can’t even remember the last time she left the house for something…heck, even when she had Lulu, she stayed here, and she had some…doctor friend of hers come HERE for the birth.”
  1074.  
  1075. “Right…wonder why that had to happen…” Lyle briefly glanced at the near-sleeping Lulu. He sighed, then thought for a second. Well…it had worked a few times today, so why not give it a try…he looked around and called out, “Ah…well, we can’t find her, so I guess she must have…”
  1076.  
  1077. “DO NOT CROSS THE YELLOW LINE!!!”
  1078.  
  1079. Deep inside, he was kind of annoyed that actually worked.
  1080.  
  1081. He looked down, and…yup, there was a yellow line, about one half-step away from where his foot was, and his next step would indeed have taken him over it. He looked around for the voice, but, and this was new, he didn’t see anyone but Lupa and Lulu. So, to hear her out again, he responded, “Uh…what? Why shouldn’t I…”
  1082.  
  1083. The voice called back, “I don’t have the time to explain exactly WHY it would be a bad idea to step over the yellow line, so you’ll just have to trust me and NOT step over it!”
  1084.  
  1085. “Uh…Aunt Lisa?” Lupa called out now, also looking around for the voice. “Where exactly are…”
  1086.  
  1087. “Three rows back, and on your left!” Aunt Lisa’s voice cut her off with directions. “Come over here, back to me, AWAY from the yellow line, please!”
  1088.  
  1089. Lyle and Lupa did, indeed, back away from the yellow line, and followed the directions they had been given. When they turned the corner, they didn’t immediately see anyone, but as they walked down the row, Lyle noticed someone moving around by a bank of machines and oddly colored devices. As he got closer, he was able to make her out – a young woman, probably mid-twenties, wearing a lab coat over a green sweater, with large, almost coke-bottle glasses framing her face.
  1090.  
  1091. “Hey, Aunt Lisa.” Lupa called out first, walking up to the woman and holding Lulu out to her. “We, uh…we found Lulu a little while back too.”
  1092.  
  1093. “Ah…yes, thank you, Lupa.” Aunt Lisa took the baby, who was somehow still peacefully sleeping despite the noise of the last few minutes. “And sorry about the whole ‘yellow line’ problem. I’ve been meaning to put a warning sign in that area, but haven’t gotten around to it just yet…”
  1094.  
  1095. “Yeah…uh, no problem.” Lupa scratched the back of her head, “So, what was…”
  1096.  
  1097. “Please don’t ask questions about that!” Aunt Lisa quickly cut her off, as she walked over to a table nearby which, oddly, had a few blankets, cushions, and pillows on it…did she really sleep down here? “Like I said, it’s…rather hard to explain, but I just need you two not to go in that area.”
  1098.  
  1099. “Oh…sure, okay…” Lupa glanced back towards the area they had been, before asking, “Just…it wasn’t, like, DANGEROUS, or anything like that…was it?”
  1100.  
  1101. “Uhhhhh…” Aunt Lisa was in the middle of laying Lulu on a pillow and tucking her in with a blanket when she turned to Lupa. Then, she gave a horrifically untrustworthy smile and replied, “Nooooooooo…”
  1102.  
  1103. “…right…moving on…uh, we’re having dinner at 5:30 tonight, and…um…” Lupa suddenly grabbed Lyle’s wrist and pulled him forward before pointing to him and saying, “…this guy will be joining us. He’s…”
  1104.  
  1105. “Lyle, right?” Aunt Lisa quickly replied before Lupa could finish. “Lyle James, one of Lincoln’s many lovechildren. He’ll be joining us?”
  1106.  
  1107. “…wait, what?” Lyle blurted out in a bit of shock. “You…know who I am?”
  1108.  
  1109. “Of course I do…I am your aunt, after all.” Aunt Lisa shrugged as she looked over to Lyle. “I helped clean you after your bowel movements when you were an infant, while your mother was indisposed.”
  1110.  
  1111. “…you changed my diapers?” Lyle raised an eyebrow, before shaking his head. “But…wait, Lin…my dad didn’t even recognize me…how did…”
  1112.  
  1113. “Well…admittedly, most of your other aunts probably wouldn’t recognize you right away either…one of the perks of my high retention and near photographic memory, I suppose.” Aunt Lisa took a seat in a chair as she continued speaking to Lyle. “Not to mention, I’ve had the most visual contact with you since your infancy and your mother’s move to the Austin area, so I’m more familiar with how you look now, in any case.”
  1114.  
  1115. “Visual contact…?” That phrase also raised red flags with Lyle. “I…don’t remember ever seeing you before…when did you see me? How…?”
  1116.  
  1117. “Uhhh…your…mother sent me pictures?” Aunt Lisa was again unconvincing as she fished for answers. “She was…replying to the child support payments I was mailing her?”
  1118.  
  1119. “…that would…make sense, but…” Every time he got a question answered, it only caused Lyle to have more questions. “…YOU sent my mom child support payments?”
  1120.  
  1121. “Oh…well, of course. I’m in charge of the family’s finances, after all.” This time, Aunt Lisa seemed more sure of her answer. “I take care of every part of our budget, from housing costs to the grocery bills to, yes, the monthly child support payments for all of Lincoln’s children outside the family. Which is a rather…sizable chunk of the overall budget, if I’m being honest.”
  1122.  
  1123. “…what about Dad?” Lyle muttered out his last question. “Did he…get involved in helping with the child support? At all?”
  1124.  
  1125. “Well…he does talk with his lover, and they come to an agreement for the child support, but after that…” Lisa thought for a second. “…no, it’s pretty much in my hands.”
  1126.  
  1127. “He doesn’t…do anything?” Lyle asked Aunt Lisa again. “He doesn’t even help pay them?”
  1128.  
  1129. “With what? The small stipend he gets from his webcomics?” Lisa replied with a shrug. “Lincoln spends almost all his time making sure this house doesn’t fall to pieces, and that all of the children are taken care of, too. He doesn’t have that much of an income on his own…certainly not enough to pay any of the child support agreements he’s made, let alone all of them.”
  1130.  
  1131. Lyle was quiet. He was busy processing all of that. His dad…his dad didn’t do anything to help him out. That thing his mom had said earlier? That his dad always helped take care of them by paying child support? That wasn’t his money…it came from Aunt Lisa and the rest of the Louds. Lincoln did…nothing.
  1132.  
  1133. “Hey…Lyle?” Apparently his quiet was unnerving enough for Lupa, who almost sounded half-concerned. “Are you…”
  1134.  
  1135. “I’m fine.” He replied roughly, as he stepped back and bowed slightly to Lisa. “Aunt Lisa, it was nice to meet you. I have to go now…I need to talk with my dad.”
  1136.  
  1137. “Ah…of course.” Lisa nodded back to him. “I’ll see you again at dinner, Lyle.”
  1138.  
  1139. Without another word, Lyle spun on his heels and quickly headed for the exit. Lupa glanced back at him, before she sighed with a shake of her head, thrust her hands in her pockets, and also made her way to the exit. After a few moments, they had both exited the lab.
  1140.  
  1141. “Hmmm…he seemed a bit…upset at the end of that conversation, didn’t he?” Lisa spoke to no one in particular, looking over to her daughter, who was fast asleep in the makeshift bed she had created on the table, before turning and looking at the computer screen on the desk in front of her. “Well, I suppose I should be grateful…he was so perturbed by the Lincoln situation he forgot that I almost spilled the beans about keeping track of him. I doubt his mother would care for the mobile cameras in her house, after all.”
  1142.  
  1143. ***
  1144.  
  1145. “Sooo…wanna explain what’s up?” Lupa kept pace with Lyle, as he swiftly made his way out of the laboratory and started stomping through the sub-basement hallway. “You took off pretty quick there after talking with Aunt Lisa…”
  1146.  
  1147. Lupa tailed off, but Lyle remained quiet as they rounded the corner and started walking to the stairs. Trying again, the goth kept badgering him, “Hey, enough with the silent treatment already. Quiet-and-angry Lyle is less fun than weirded-out-by-everything Lyle by a lot. So out with it. C’mon, you can tell your big sis what’s up.”
  1148.  
  1149. Lyle sighed. Maybe he was tired of listening to her, or maybe the ‘big sis’ quip was just a little too annoying for him at the moment, but either way, he was in no mood to deal with Lupa right now. Not turning back, he replied, “Could you leave me alone for a second? I need to have a chat with Dad right now…privately.”
  1150.  
  1151. “Heh, like there’s anything that’s private in this house.” Lupa chuckled to herself. “Besides, you even know where Dad is right now?”
  1152.  
  1153. “That…” Lyle hesitated for a moment. She had him there…he hadn’t actually seen Lincoln Loud yet today, so he didn’t know where he was. “…maybe not, but I can find him. We need to talk.”
  1154.  
  1155. “Really? Ah…I get you.” Lupa picked up the pace and started walking next to Lyle as she continued, “It’s your turn to blow up at him for being a shitty dad, huh?”
  1156.  
  1157. “That’s…I’m not gonna ‘blow up’ at anyone.” Lyle tried to ignore the goth and her stupid smirky face as he ascended the stairs. “…and what do you mean, it’s ‘my turn’?”
  1158.  
  1159. “I mean, a lot of us have done it before. A good old screaming match with Uncle Lincoln once we found out what kind of uncle he was, that is,” explained Lupa as she followed him up the stairs. “Lemy still does it every now and then. I used to too, before I figured it was probably hurting my chances of getting in Dad’s bed.”
  1160.  
  1161. That sentence caused Lyle to stop in his tracks for a second. He pondered it for a second, before turning to Lupa and point-blank asking, “Are you…trying to seduce Dad?”
  1162.  
  1163. “No, I’m trying to fuck dad.” Lupa replied with an even more point-blank answer. “I’m not gonna bother with that lame sweet-talking shit.”
  1164.  
  1165. “…uh huh.” The little voice inside Lyle’s head that had been his common sense was telling him not to pry further, because he really didn’t want to know, did he, but Lyle had stopped listening to that voice since this weird-ass day began. “Just out of morbid curiosity…why Dad?”
  1166.  
  1167. “Eh…I dunno. To prove he’s the kind of shitty uncle-dad who’d fuck his daughter-niece? To get back at Mom for vague goth-teen angst? Or just because he’s actually kind of hot and I can only hear enough oblique references to what a sexual tiger he is before I start wanting to see for myself?” After rattling of the possibilities, Lupa just kind of shrugged as she reached the top of the stairs. “Little bit of Columns A, B, and C, probably.”
  1168.  
  1169. Well, that was…informative. Lyle shook his head as he silently followed her up the stairs. He could ponder whether he actually wanted that information later.
  1170.  
  1171. They were back in the main basement hallway, now, and it was no longer just the two of them. Lingering in the hallway were Leia and her little gang, which had just exited her room, judging by Marsha closing the door behind them. Leia apparently noticed the two of them in the hallway as well, as she shot Lupa a look of disgust before haughtily turning her nose up and grumbling, “And what are YOU still doing around here? I was hoping you’d have enough sense to not come around here again.”
  1172.  
  1173. “Put a sock in it, Twerp. It’s my home too, I can go where I want.” Lupa returned fire immediately. “And I’d rather not have to walk by your shitty princess pad too, but there’s no other way to get from the sub to the main floor. So deal with it.”
  1174.  
  1175. “Oh, it’s MY room that’s the bad one, Lupa?” Leia continued to bark at Lupa, even as the older girl glided right past her and started walking up the stairs to the ground floor. Leia followed right behind her, continuing to chirp, “And what about YOUR hideous little vampire dungeon? You really think you’re one to talk about…”
  1176.  
  1177. She continued to drone on, but by now Lyle was getting the hang of tuning her out. He eyed Gwen and Marsha warily, before Gwen shrugged and said, “Yeah, once they get going, they’re not gonna stop jawing at each other until someone pulls them apart. You get used to it.”
  1178.  
  1179. “…uh huh.” Lyle’s wary look didn’t waver yet. “So…we’re good, still?”
  1180.  
  1181. “Hey, I made a deal with Leia, ok? I don’t go back on those.” Gwen started following the other two up the stairs as she finished, “So, yeah. Bygones, and all that shit. You stay out of my way, I’ll stay out of yours.”
  1182.  
  1183. “Mmkay. Sure.” Lyle responded, even though Gwen didn’t turn her head towards him as she marched up. “If you say so…”
  1184.  
  1185. “There is one last thing we should discuss.”
  1186.  
  1187. The last girl still in the hallway, Marsha, tried to do the suddenly-start-talking-from-behind-Lyle trick, but having gotten hit by it twice already by Lupa today, he barely twitched this time as he looked over to her and said, “Really now. And that would be…”
  1188.  
  1189. “What Lupa said about Gwen a while back, about her and Loud…er, Lemy…that is…” said Marsha, quietly. “I’d like you to keep that to yourself, if you could.”
  1190.  
  1191. “Ah…” Lyle thought back…what Lupa said about Gwen and Lemy…oh, right. Ridden hard, put away wet, sloppy mess on the couch. He had almost forgotten about that. “Yeah, sure. I’ll keep quiet.”
  1192.  
  1193. “Good.” Marsha nodded as she too started walking to the stairs. “Nice of you to agree to that quickly, then.”
  1194.  
  1195. “Well, we’re starting off fresh, aren’t we?” Lyle rolled his eyes as he too started walking up the stairs. “Anyway, I’m not one for meddling in romance. Let those two figure it out.”
  1196.  
  1197. “Hmm…that’s good to know…” Marsha shot him a knowing look.
  1198.  
  1199. “Hey, don’t think I can’t see you starting to compile a new dossier on on me.” Lyle shot Marsha a glare in return. “You cut that out now. We had a deal, remember?”
  1200.  
  1201. “I remember the deal. I promised I wouldn’t dig up any info about you or your mom.” Marsha didn’t turn her head as she replied. “That was just what I got from observing you, which is totally ok. Right?”
  1202.  
  1203. “That’s…” Observation…dammit, he didn’t say she couldn’t observe him. That was stupid of him, forgetting fine print like that. “Okay, fine, just don’t think that you…can…?”
  1204.  
  1205. Lyle's words were halted as he noticed the odd scene developing in front of him–as he and Marsha reached the top of the stairs, he realized that Lupa and Leia had stopped at the top step, not moving a muscle, with Gwen standing right behind them, a concerned look on her face.
  1206.  
  1207. “Gwen?” Marsha called out to her partner in crime. “What’s…”
  1208.  
  1209. “Shh!” Gwen quickly shushed Marsha. “Listen!”
  1210.  
  1211. Raising an eyebrow, Marsha did hold her next comment as she listened for…something. Lyle, wondering what was going on, also listened, and…huh, he could hear something…it sounded like…piano music? Yeah, that was definitely a piano, playing something classical…like a nocturne, or…
  1212.  
  1213. “Oh…oh boy.” Marsha had an odd look on her face as she appeared to realize something.
  1214.  
  1215. “What? The music?” Lyle arched his eyebrow. “What’s wrong with…”
  1216.  
  1217. “Nothing’s wrong with the music, idiot.” Gwen’s harsh words were dulled by how she was still trying to keep her voice down. “The problem is the one who’s playing it. If she catches us, well…”
  1218.  
  1219. Gwen glanced back at the two at the top of the stairs. Now that he was focused on them, he could make out a bit of what they were saying, as he heard Lupa mutter, “If I’m quiet, make it to the kitchen, I might have a shot at…”
  1220.  
  1221. “The back door? Yeah, you try that.” Leia mumbled back. “And then, when she hears the door open and gets you, I can dash to the porch and…”
  1222.  
  1223. “Oh, like I’m gonna fall on my sword for your crew? Fat chance.” Lupa glared at Leia. “I’ll make a break for it and leave you here for her to find. How’s that sound, Twerp?”
  1224.  
  1225. Before Leia could answer, Lyle sighed and called out to the two at the top, “Uh, can we move, at least? I’d like to leave this stairwell sometime today, please…”
  1226.  
  1227. “Shhhh!” Leia turned and shushed him. “Keep quiet, or she’ll hear you!”
  1228.  
  1229. “I already hear you guys. For a while now, really. You can come out.”
  1230.  
  1231. The girls in the hallway stiffened as the new voice called out to them. Lupa and Leia exchanged a nervous glance for a moment. It was only when the voice continued, “NOW, please,” that the two girls started begrudgingly moving from the top of the stairs, with Gwen, Marsha, and Lyle following behind them.
  1232.  
  1233. They turned towards the dining room, which did indeed have a smaller piano against one of the walls…Lyle must have missed seeing it when he walked in. Sitting in front of it, playing the final notes of the nocturne, was an elegant looking older girl…at least high school age, Lyle thought. Her hands moved across the keys with a quiet grace to them…and, judging by the lack of sheet music, she was playing from memory. So she was clearly talented at this.
  1234.  
  1235. She hit the final chord, nodding to herself, apparently pleased with her work, before she turned to face the girls, a stern look on her face. Lupa kept up a cool, bored front, but Leia appeared to be slightly nervous as she said, “Hi, Lyra. That, uh…that was a lovely song, wasn’t it! It’s odd to hear you play up here, though, since you usually prefer the music room, and…”
  1236.  
  1237. “Leia.” The older girl, Lyra, cut the younger one off with a glance. “I see you brought your friends over today. Why didn’t you let us know they were coming?”
  1238.  
  1239. “Ah…that, uh…” Leia stumbled for a quick reply. “We had a…cookie emergency? We needed to discuss it quickly, so…wha-what are you doing back home so early? And why…”
  1240.  
  1241. “Liby sent me a text. She told me and Liena to come home a bit early today, since Lemy was bringing a guest of his own over today.” Completely ignoring Leia’s attempts to continue asking her questions, Lyra turned her gaze to Lyle. “I assume that’s you, then?”
  1242.  
  1243. “Oh…yes, it is.” Lyle moved past Lupa and Leia and offered Lyra his hand, putting on his respectful voice. “Lyle James…it’s nice to meet you.”
  1244.  
  1245. “Lyra Loud…Nice to meet you as well, Lyle.” Lyra cracked a soft smile as she shook Lyle’s hand gently, before turning to Leia again. “And, Leia, since you asked why I was up here before, I was playing with Lizy for a bit. She asked me to wait here while she got changed.”
  1246.  
  1247. “Oh…Lizy!” Leia’s nervous face suddenly changed into a beaming smile. “Aw, that’s nice…wait, changed? Into wha…?”
  1248.  
  1249. “Raaaarr!”
  1250.  
  1251. A roaring voice came from behind them. Turning, Lyle saw a horrifying monster…is what he imagined the little girl was playing at. She was very young, probably around kindergarten age, and was wearing a very kindergarten-esque costume of cardboard and paper towel tubes in the shape of a dragon/dinosaur monster of some kind. Though in the back of his mind, Lyle thought to himself that the cheery little smile poking out of the beast’s mouth and the cute, tiny roars took some of the scare factor away from this monster.
  1252.  
  1253. “Oh no, it’s Godzilla! He’s come for us!” Lyra played along with a mock-terrified cry.
  1254.  
  1255. “Raar! Raaarr! I’ve come to destroy Tokyo again!!! Raaahehehe!” Lizy continued to roar before she started to giggle. “Did I scare you, Lyra? Did I?”
  1256.  
  1257. “You sure did, Lizy.” Lyra got up from her seat and walked over to Lizy, patting her cardboard-helmeted head. “I was very scared.”
  1258.  
  1259. “Yaaay! I scaaared Ly~raaaa!” Lizy replied with a sing-song chant before she noticed the others in the room. “Oh! Leia! And Lupa! And…other people! Did I scare you too?”
  1260.  
  1261. “Yes you did, Lizy!” Leia picked up the little girl and gave her a hug. “You got me so good, I was so scared! We all were, right guys?”
  1262.  
  1263. “Uh…sure was.” Lyle nodded, as did Gwen and Marsha. Lupa, on the other hand, just shrugged.
  1264.  
  1265. This caused Leia to narrow her eyes at Lupa and grumble, in a tone that was actually terrifying, “We were ALL SCARED, weren’t we, LUPA?”
  1266.  
  1267. “Hey, don’t look at me, I helped her make the outfit with Aunt Lana, so I knew what was coming.” Lupa rolled her eyes. “Plus, I taught her some sneak techniques so she could roar from right behind you. Good job on that, Liz.”
  1268.  
  1269. “Yeah, I did it!” Another cheer from Lizy, as Lyle realized that she was still young enough for most of that to go over her head. “So, ready to play now, Lyra?”
  1270.  
  1271. “Well, actually, Lizy…” Lyra glanced over to Lyle for a moment before continuing, “I actually need to have a quick talk with our new friend Lyle here. So I can’t play with you right now. But your other cousins are here…why don’t you play with Leia and her friends until I’m done?”
  1272.  
  1273. “Oh-kay!” Lizy didn’t show any disappointment on her face as she turned to Leia. “Come on, Leia, let’s go!”
  1274.  
  1275. “Oh, I…” Leia had a look on her face like she was trying to get out of it, but a sharp glare from Lyra apparently had her think otherwise, as she continued, “I would LOVE to, Lizy! Gwen, Marsha, why don’t we…ALL go upstairs with Lizy for a bit?”
  1276.  
  1277. Gwen and Marsha glanced to Lyra for a second before quickly nodding their agreement, and in a flash, Leia’s crew absconded, with Lizy still held in Leia’s arms. Leaving Lyle in the room with Lupa and Lyra. Lupa glanced at Lyle for a second before she tried to step backwards out of the room, muttering, “…’kay, I’m just gonna…”
  1278.  
  1279. “Hold it.” Lyra’s tone went harsh again as Lupa froze in her tracks. “Lupa, you go upstairs and tell the rest of the girls about dinner, okay?”
  1280.  
  1281. “What?” Lupa protested. “Come on, I already went and told everyone downstairs, didn’t I? Why do I have to…”
  1282.  
  1283. “Oh, by all means, don’t do it if you don’t want to.” Lyra turned and sat back down in front of the piano. “I guess I can just let dad know about the new lighter you got after he confiscated the last one.”
  1284.  
  1285. Lupa froze for a moment. “How do you know about…”
  1286.  
  1287. “I could smell the smoke on your clothes when I did the laundry. Strong enough to know it had to be recent.” Lyra glared at Lupa once again. “So, are you going, or…”
  1288.  
  1289. “Pssh…” Lupa made a frustrated noise, but dutifully turned on her heels and started walking to the stairs, yelling as she went up, “Lib! Lace! Dinner at 5:30! You guys hear me?”
  1290.  
  1291. Lyle watched her stomp off, before turning back to Lyra, and realizing…well, two things, actually. One, he was remembering how Lupa had told him about the only ones who Leia was afraid of, and how Lyra was on that list. Two, how the fact that he was now alone with Lyra meant it was now his turn.
  1292.  
  1293. Now, how to approach this…
  1294.  
  1295. “So…Lyle?” Lyra made the first move. “I imagine you’ve had an…odd day, haven’t you?”
  1296.  
  1297. “Oh, uh…yeah, I suppose you could say that.” Lyle replied with a pained chuckle. “So, um…how much do you know…about me?”
  1298.  
  1299. “Well, from what I can remember from Lemy’s screaming yesterday…” Lyra rolled her eyes. “…you’re a new student in his class, you transferred in from Texas, and you’re a really good keyboardist who’s joining his band. And…oh, right, you’re also our brother. One of Dad’s lovechildren that had scattered around the country, apparently. That last bit may have been the reason for all the yelling.”
  1300.  
  1301. “That sounds pretty close to what I’ve heard, anyway.” Lyle nodded. “Although, I want to point out right now that calling me an awesome keyboardist is a bit of an exaggeration.”
  1302.  
  1303. “Fair enough.” Lyra shrugged with a bit of a smirk. “So is calling his crew a band.”
  1304.  
  1305. “Heh…I’ve heard that as well.” Lyle laughed. “Well, I’ll just say that I’m not as good as you are. I can’t think of that many songs I could even try to play off memory, and none of them as well as that. That was…Chopin, right?”
  1306.  
  1307. “Yeah…one of his nocturnes.” Lyra glanced at the keys for a moment. “I’m surprised you could tell just from listening.”
  1308.  
  1309. “Well, I thought it sounded like a nocturne, and I know he wrote a lot.” Lyle answered. “I tried to play one of his way back, and…well, it didn’t come out that good.”
  1310.  
  1311. “Is that so…” Lyra thought to herself, before getting out of the seat and motioning to Lyle. “Would you like to try?”
  1312.  
  1313. “Huh? Oh, I…well, I don’t remember it, and…” Lyle rubbed his hair with a sheepish look on his face.
  1314.  
  1315. “It’s okay…try something you do remember.” Lyra reassured him. “You’ll never know how good you are unless you try, anyway.”
  1316.  
  1317. Lyle didn’t respond for a moment, looking at the piano before shrugging and taking the seat. She was right, after all. The last couple days, he’d been saying he wasn’t that good of a keyboardist or a piano player…but he hadn’t played in a while. He didn’t really know how good he was or wasn’t.
  1318.  
  1319. So…what’s the harm in trying?
  1320.  
  1321. He shifted the seat forward a bit, placed his hands on the keys, and started to play. It wasn’t Chopin…he really couldn’t remember. So he played the last song he did remember, at least a bit, how to play, Beethoven’s Für Elise. He played as fast as he could remember the right notes, his fingers moving slightly nervously as they awaited confirmation from his eyes and brain that they were on the right key.
  1322.  
  1323. With his focus totally on the keys, he could only vaguely feel Lyra standing next to him, though he never totally lost his sense that she was there, watching him play and judging for herself how he was doing. That thought, lingering in the back of his mind, helped him focus further, trying to give her his best performance until he hit the final notes.
  1324.  
  1325. As the last note he played faded and he took his hands off the keys, Lyle looked over to Lyra and, a bit nervously, asked, “So…how’d I do?”
  1326.  
  1327. “Hmm…” Lyra murmured to herself as she thought, tapping her cheek before she answered, “Your tempo was a bit slow overall, and you missed a couple notes…but, considering you were put on the spot with little preparation and no sheet music, I’d say it was quite good. Were you to be put in music classes, I’d say you’re…at an intermediate level, though on the high end, close to getting moved into the advanced class.”
  1328.  
  1329. “That…actually sounds like where I was last time I really practiced, a couple years ago.” Lyle brushed his hand through his hair as he considered Lyra’s assessment. “Which, I guess it’s nice to know I haven’t gotten much worse, but I’m gonna have to work on it to get up to in-a-band level.”
  1330.  
  1331. “What, in Lemy’s band? You’d fit in perfectly…heck, you’re almost certainly better than Lemy or Gordon.” Lyra chuckled as Lyle got out of the seat. “Lina’s good enough at bass for them to sound at least a little legit, but once you get past that…”
  1332.  
  1333. “I see…well, good enough to know I won’t be dragging anybody down, at least.” Lyle cracked a bit of a smile at Lyra’s reassurance. “So, do you work with the band, too?”
  1334.  
  1335. “Me? No, no…absolutely not.” Lyra flatly denied it. “What they want to play isn’t what I want to play. Besides, even if it was, me and Lemy trying to work together…yeah. It’s not’s happening.”
  1336.  
  1337. That comment puzzled Lyle a bit. “What, do you and Lemy not get along?”
  1338.  
  1339. “Heh…right, you wouldn’t know.” Lyra let out a dry chuckle. “Well, to be honest…no. Our brother-sister relationship isn’t what I’d call ‘great’ at the moment.”
  1340.  
  1341. “Oh…I see.” Lyle trailed off a bit. He didn’t really know what to say there…being an only child did not leave him in a position to comment on other’s relationships with their siblings. Instead, he thought for a moment and asked, “So, what…uh, what did you need to talk to me about?”
  1342.  
  1343. “Oh…right. Sorry…music got me a bit sidetracked.” The older girl nodded, remembering that she had wanted to chat with Lyle a moment ago. “To be honest, I was thinking about making sure you wouldn’t tell anybody about our family’s…situation, but after talking to you, I…feel like I can trust you. You don’t seem like the kind of boy who’d do something like that.”
  1344.  
  1345. “Ah…I get it. Planning to scare me straight, were you?” Lyle smirked playfully at Lyra, who chuckled slightly as she shrugged in return. “Well, I guess it’s nice to know you trust me…I dunno what scary Lyra’s like, and the way those two were acting, I guess I’d rather not find out.”
  1346.  
  1347. “It’s not like I want to be scary…I just have to be the strict one around here.” Lyra brushed her hand through her hair as she sighed. “Somebody has to make sure no one gets in too much trouble, after all. I mean, our moms are too busy to maintain order around here, and I can’t leave it up to Dad, so…”
  1348.  
  1349. “Dad…huh.” Lyle’s mind was refocused after Lyra mentioned their father. He thought quietly for another moment, then looked at Lyra and asked, “Hey, uh…and you can totally ignore this if you’d rather not answer but…what do you think about Dad? About…you know, all of his…business, and…gah, I’m not explaining this well.”
  1350.  
  1351. “No no, I get where you’re coming from…trust me, I know it’s not easy to talk about.” Lyra reassured him, as she sat back down in front of the piano, though facing away from the instrument. “And I can only imagine how it must look, from your perspective. What do you want to hear about?”
  1352.  
  1353. “Just…I mean, you’ve interacted with him more than me…which is, like, at all.” Lyle fumbled with his words a bit as he searched for the right way to approach the topic. “And, also, you’re older than Lemy is, so you’ve probably seen more of dad’s life, and…more of what he’s really like. What kind of dad he really is.”
  1354.  
  1355. Lyra patiently listened to Lyle until he finished, then mulled over her answer. “What kind of dad he really is…well, that’s tough to answer…after all, I’m still not sure I’ve figured it out for myself.”
  1356.  
  1357. The boy gave her a puzzled look, so Lyra continued, “To be honest, for as much as I can remember, I always saw dad as the absolute worst person in the world. For so long, he was this…symbol of sin, and degeneracy, and…irresponsibility…Everything I wanted to avoid being as an adult. The source of all our problems. And when he came to us a few years back, and said he was going to try to change his ways, to be a better dad, to be there for us? I never trusted it for a second. I figured he was just pretending, that deep down he was the same monster I had always seen him as.”
  1358.  
  1359. “But…” Lyra paused for a breath before pressing on, “…then I’ve seen these last few years. I saw him…caring for Leia and Lizy and Lulu as babies in a way he…never did for us older kids. I saw him really try to connect with the rest of us and try and be a dad for us, too. Of course, I still suspected it was all a ruse, and kept my guard up, but…he still came, and talked to me, and promised me that…he was trying to change.”
  1360.  
  1361. As Lyra trailed off for a second, Lyle, who was leaning up against the wall as the older girl spoke, asked, “Do you believe that?”
  1362.  
  1363. “…well…” Lyra paused a bit before she finally answered, “…there’s still that part of me that believes it’s a ruse, and that he can’t be trusted…and I still can’t bring myself to rule it out. But…I have seen him try to be better. He hasn’t gone back on his word yet. And…as long as I see him trying…I’ll try to see him as something other than that symbol I made him out to be.”
  1364.  
  1365. A pause hung in the air for a moment, neither one of them speaking, until Lyra rolled her eyes and muttered, “Granted, it’d be easier if he didn’t still wind up in his sisters’ beds every night or so, but…well, one step at a time.”
  1366.  
  1367. “Oh…right.” Lyle dryly replied to Lyra’s comment. “I can imagine that would make it harder to see him in a good light.”
  1368.  
  1369. Lyra chuckled as she nodded, which got Lyle to eventually let a small laugh of his own slip. As the conversation paused again, the room got quiet…enough for Lyle to hear a voice coming from the upstairs, calling out “Hey, Lupa, where’d did you take Lyle to this time? Seriously, he’s been gone for a while now, what’d you do…?”
  1370.  
  1371. Lemy’s voice…yeah, it’d been about a half-hour, at least, since he got abducted by Leia’s crew, so Lemy probably would be looking for him. Which…sure, Lyle’d catch back up to him eventually, but right now…
  1372.  
  1373. The boy looked back to Lyra, and asked her, “So…by any chance, do you know where Dad is? That talk you mentioned having with him…I kind of wanted to have one of my own with him…y’know?”
  1374.  
  1375. “Ah…” Lyra glanced at the stairwell, piecing together what Lyle was trying to explain. With a sly smile, she got up from the piano seat, saying, “He’s outside, in the back yard…he and Aunt Lana are trying to fix the lawnmower, I think. The back door is in the kitchen, by the stairs…Sit tight for a second, though, I’ll give you a diversion.”
  1376.  
  1377. With that, Lyra left the dining room, walking to the stairs. Lyle watched her disappear from view as she entered the stairwell, but heard her call out, “Lemy! It’s your turn to set the table! C’mon, get down here and get going!”
  1378.  
  1379. “Wha…the hell are you talking about?” Lemy’s voice called out again. “First of all, it ISN’T my turn, I did it two days ago, and even if it was, Liena hasn’t even started cooking, so…!”
  1380.  
  1381. “I don’t want to hear excuses, Lemy! So just…hey! Come back here!” Lyra’s voice faded, as she ascended the stairs, and soon all Lyle could hear was crosstalk as the two bickered.
  1382.  
  1383. A diversion…well, he wasn’t going to waste it. Once the noise of the argument was loud enough for him to feel comfortable, he headed to the back door and slipped out quietly.
  1384.  
  1385. Compared to the size of the house, the back yard was only…decent-sized, Lyle supposed. Granted, that was probably due to the house taking up most of the lot, but still, for the number of kids in the house, it seemed a bit undersized. Not that he minded it too much though, since the smaller yard made it quite easy to see the lawnmower tipped over on its side at the far end of the yard, and the two adults bent over next to it who appeared to be working on it.
  1386.  
  1387. Figuring that had to be his dad and Aunt Lana, as Lyra had just mentioned, Lyle started walking towards them, and as he approached, he started to hear some of the conversation they were having. He recognized his dad’s voice, which he had heard yesterday, muttering, “…guess we’ll have to make room in the budget. How much do you think it’ll cost to fix it up?”
  1388.  
  1389. “Well, it probably wouldn’t take that much, but…” The gruff, husky woman’s voice must belong to Aunt Lana. “…problem is, even after we fix the blade and the rotor, just a quick look at the engine makes me think it won’t have much longer till it goes, too. And at that point, it’d probably get cheaper to look at scrapping it and getting a replacement.”
  1390.  
  1391. “Really? Still, I’d really prefer not buying a new one if we could avoid it…” Dad leaned back before glancing over at Aunt Lana. “I mean, c’mon, you’ve managed to keep Vanzilla going after all these years, I’m sure you could…”
  1392.  
  1393. “Hey, Vanzilla’s got sentimental value. This is a crappy lawnmower that nobody in the family likes.” Aunt Lana cut Dad off. “Lemy keeps complaining about how the handle is loose and rattles all the time, and that was before Lacy screwed the blade up by running over that rock, so…”
  1394.  
  1395. “Uh…h-hey…” Lyle interrupted their conversation once he had gotten close enough to be heard, hesitating a bit as he managed to get out a brief, “Hey, Dad.”
  1396.  
  1397. The two adults turned from the lawnmower to see Lyle standing behind them, with a bit of a pained smile on his face. Dad looked like he was about to speak, but once he recognized Lyle, it seemed as if the words got away from him, and he stayed quiet. Aunt Lana, on the other hand, looked over Lyle quickly before turning to her brother and teasingly saying, “Huh…y’know, it’s been a while since the last random kid showed up at the house calling you Dad, Linc. I’d almost forgotten what that felt like.”
  1398.  
  1399. “Please don’t joke about that, Lana.” Dad brought his hand to his head as Aunt Lana snickered next to him. “This is Lyle…he’s Jordan’s son. Er…Girl Jordan, my classmate from back…”
  1400.  
  1401. “Oh…ohhh yeah! I see it now.” Aunt Lana smiled as she stood up and dusted herself off. “Yeah, I remember Lyle…of course, you’ve grown up a lot since I last saw you, back when you were just a little baby with some gnarly diapers.”
  1402.  
  1403. “Oh…um, thank you?” Though he was uncertain if he should take that as a compliment or not, Lyle thanked his aunt regardless, bowing his head a bit before he continued, “It’s very nice to meet you again, Aunt Lana.”
  1404.  
  1405. “Aww, look at this guy, being all polite.” Lana reached out and ruffled his hair. “You’re way different than your mom in that regard…the Girl Jordan I remember was a hell of a firecracker, right Linc?”
  1406.  
  1407. “Uh…yeah…” Dad scratched his head as he too stood up. “Yeah, Jordan was…great, and…so, Lyle, what, um…”
  1408.  
  1409. He continued to stumble over his words, unsure of what to say next. Lyle could understand…he really wasn’t certain of how to approach the topic either. Still, this was his only chance, while Lemy was being distracted, so he’d just have to figure it out along the way. Looking back to Lana, Lyle asked, “Hey, Aunt Lana, could I…talk with Dad for a minute? I’ve got some things to ask him, and…”
  1410.  
  1411. “Ah? Oh…” Lana glanced back to her brother, then to her nephew, before she seemed to put two and two together. She then backed up and grasped the lawnmower’s handle, tipping it back onto the ground as she quickly said, “Hey Linc, I just thought of…something I can try with this here lawnmower to get it back up and running! Why don’t I give it a try, and you and Lyle can wait here a sec until I’m done okay thanks bye!”
  1412.  
  1413. With that, Lana quickly scampered off, swinging around the corner of the house and quickly out of sight. It was nice of her to take off without asking any other questions, Lyle thought. Now he could get down to business.
  1414.  
  1415. He turned back to his dad, who had a weary expression on his face, still scratching his head. Before Lyle could say anything, Dad sighed and started walked towards the house, putting his back to the wall near the door and sliding down before he muttered to Lyle, “You can, uh…you can take a seat next to me, Lyle. Um, if you want to, of course.
  1416.  
  1417. “Oh…uh, sure.” Lyle quickly agreed, and followed his dad, sitting next to him with his back against the wall.
  1418.  
  1419. A quiet moment hung in the air between the two. The moment Lyle was waiting for had arrived: his dad, next to him, ready to talk. About…anything, he guessed. All he had to do was think of something to talk about.
  1420.  
  1421. And yet, Lyle was…silent. Unsure of where to start. There was so much he wanted to ask about…things he had always wanted to ask the father he’d never met, things he’d only thought about in the last day and a half since his world was flipped upside down…there was so much to ask him, and the internal search for where to start was stopping him from starting anywhere. He was starting to beat himself up about it internally, frustrated with himself at the inability to start the conversation, when…
  1422.  
  1423. “So…I guess…” Dad took a deep breath before he glanced over to his son. “…I should start with apologizing, shouldn’t I?”
  1424.  
  1425. “H-huh?” Lyle blinked. “What do you…?”
  1426.  
  1427. “Well, if we need to start anywhere, I should start off on the right foot, and all, so…” Dad scratched his head again, before turning to Lyle and saying, “Lyle, I’m sorry. Sorry for…well, jeez, there’s just a lot I need to apologize for, isn’t there? I really…really don’t even know where to start…”
  1428.  
  1429. “No no…back up for a second.” Lyle tried stopping his dad. “I didn’t ask you to…”
  1430.  
  1431. “I guess first I should say I’m sorry for not being around for you?” Dad kept on talking though, apparently not hearing Lyle. “I know that’s probably the biggest thing, not being a part of your life while you were growing up. I wish I could go back and undo that, but…well, there’s a lot I wish I could go back and undo, I guess, but there’s nothing else I can do about that, so I should at least apolo…”
  1432.  
  1433. “I said WAIT, damn it!” Lyle shouted as he stood back up, apparently loud enough that he was able to cut through his dad’s flow. “I didn’t come to see you to get any apologies!”
  1434.  
  1435. “…oh. Really?” Dad looked a bit surprised as Lyle cut him off. “Usually, when one of the kids finds out about…well, what our relationship is really like…there’s really nothing I can do but apologize. I guess I defaulted to that a bit there. Sorry, Lyle.”
  1436.  
  1437. “You’re still apologizing!” The exasperation was evident in Lyle’s voice as he continued to yell a bit.
  1438.  
  1439. “Ah…you’re right, you’re right.” Dad put his hands up as he nodded. “Okay, no more apologizing. So…what did you want to talk about then?”
  1440.  
  1441. “I just…” Lyle tried to get the right words out, but once again, they failed to materialize. A beat passed as he tried to find them, but eventually, he just sighed and sat back down, murmuring, “I don’t even know. I…damn it, in my head, I had all these things I wanted to know about, but now that I’ve got you here…I don’t even know where to start.”
  1442.  
  1443. “That’s okay…trust me, I get how difficult this situation is to deal with.” Dad scratched the back of his head as a somewhat pained smile curled on his face. “I’ve had a conversation along these lines…more times than I’d like to remember, to be perfectly honest.”
  1444.  
  1445. “Yeah…so I’ve heard.” Lyle thought about it for a moment, realizing that this was probably the first time he’d really raised his voice all day, in spite of everything else that had gone on today. He let out an annoyed laugh before he continued, “Dammit…I even said I wasn’t gonna scream at you like Lemy and Lupa said, yet what’s the first thing I do when I’ve got you in front of me?”
  1446.  
  1447. “Hey, don’t worry about that,” Dad reassured him. “This is hard to talk about…and even harder to do it and keep your emotions in check. A little shouting is nothing unusual. And it’s better than the full-bore cussing out I’ve gotten before. I didn’t even know half the swears Lupa shouted at me the first time we had the dad-talk.”
  1448.  
  1449. Dad chuckled a bit at his own joke, and Lyle couldn’t help but chuckle a bit with him. Once that laugh died down, there was a brief period of silence before Lyle finally took a crack at a conversation, saying, “So is it always like this with your other kids? When they…find out?”
  1450.  
  1451. “Well, it varies, and there’s only a few kids who took it…particularly well.” Dad replied. “Gloom probably took the news the best. Though I’ve never seen that girl without a smile, I suppose, so maybe I should have expected that. Same with Lacy…and Leia too, but she was always pretty attached to me, even when I was just Uncle Lincoln. The rest, though…yeah, varying degrees of anger and resentment at first, and varying degrees of moving past it as they got older.”
  1452.  
  1453. “Uncle Lincoln…” Lyle thought about that…it wasn’t the first time he’d heard his dad called that the last few days. “Is that what you tell the kids you are at first?”
  1454.  
  1455. “Well, yeah…not that I like it. Pretending to just be their uncle rubs me the wrong way sometimes, even though I know we have to do it.” His father sighed and leaned back a bit. “But we can’t take the chance of me being called Dad in front of others when they’re young. So they grow up with me as Uncle Lincoln, until we think they’re old enough to handle it. Lizy is the only one who doesn’t know yet, I think.”
  1456.  
  1457. “Ah…right.” Lyle thought back to the cheery little girl in her Godzilla outfit…come to think of it, Lyra had called Leia her cousin back then, didn’t she? But then he though back to the youngest Loud he had met today…Lupa wasn’t as careful with her words there. “What about Lulu, then?”
  1458.  
  1459. “She’s…a special case. Mainly because Lulu is a bigger secret than anything else we’ve done.” Dad sighed. “Also, she can’t really talk yet, but…well…let’s just say there’s a lot of things we need to consider about Lulu, and that particular subject is further down the list than you’d think.”
  1460.  
  1461. “Ahuh…right.” Lyle had a brief flashback to The Laser Incident, before shoving that memory back in the vault. “What about the other kids outside the family?”
  1462.  
  1463. “That’s up to their mothers. I’ll go along with whatever they want.” Dad quickly explained. “Some of them have always known I’m their dad, some only found out when they were a bit older.”
  1464.  
  1465. “…so…” Lyle hesitated for a moment, because now…now he was getting to what he really wanted to know. “What about me then?”
  1466.  
  1467. “…that’s…” Dad slowly started speaking, before stopping himself, apparently conflicted about the answer.
  1468.  
  1469. “My mom…she wasn’t against me meeting you, after all.” Lyle continued, filling in the gap in the conversation while Dad worked through his response. “Actually the opposite…she told me that she was happy I got to meet my dad. I’ve…always wondered about my dad…I never knew anything. But…you never reached out to us, or even kept in contact…not once. Why not?”
  1470.  
  1471. Dad was quiet for a while longer, tilting his head back a bit, practically staring at the sky as he thought about the question, before finally brining himself to say, “Because…you didn’t deserve to be stuck with me.”
  1472.  
  1473. “…what?” Lyle couldn’t hide the confusion on his face. “What does that…”
  1474.  
  1475. “Well, it’s…” Lincoln started again, then stopped, thought a bit, and continued, “I didn’t…I don’t want my kids to have be burdened with a dad like…this. I just…felt that knowing nothing about your dad would be better than finding out what I was really like.”
  1476.  
  1477. “That’s…” Lyle wasn’t sure how to continue. There was a side of him considering that this was some kind of act, or a lie…that really, his dad was being polite when he just didn’t want to have to deal with yet another kid. But…the rest of his mind could hear that there was real distaste, almost self-loathing, in his dad’s voice when he talked about himself.
  1478.  
  1479. After taking a second to ponder that, Lyle decided to question Lincoln further, asking, “Well, if that’s how you feel, then why not the others? If you don’t want your kids to know you’re their dad, then why let any of them know?”
  1480.  
  1481. “…for the kids in the family, there was no avoiding it. I would have had to walk away from my sisters completely to avoid it…and neither they nor I wanted that. And If I’m going to be around them, then I’m not going to lie about who I am.” His dad started explaining. “And most of the kids outside the family still live in the area. Their moms never moved out of Royal Woods, so as they grew up, we knew eventually, they’d cross paths with the family, and eventually with me. What point was there in avoiding the subject if they’d eventually find out?”
  1482.  
  1483. “But…for you…” Dad looked back to Lyle. “You and your mom didn’t live here. You lived miles away…the odds of you finding out about us were much lower, I figured. So…”
  1484.  
  1485. “So you thought I’d never have to find out about you.” Lyle finished the sentence, to which his dad simply nodded. The boy looked down at the ground for a moment, still uncertain of how much to believe, until he decided to just ask the question point blank, turning back to his dad and asking, “Do you…hate yourself, then?”
  1486.  
  1487. “…hah. Hate’s a strong word, but…” This laugh from his dad was exceptionally pained, and the smile on his face did nothing to hide it. “That guy I used to be…a loser who cared about nothing but his own desires and tried to avoid any kind of responsibility…I do hate that guy. I’ve spent a lot of these last few years trying to be a better person than that, but at the same time, I can’t pretend he wasn’t once me.
  1488.  
  1489. “All I can do…” Dad turned to Lyle, still trying to put up a strong face with a smile. “…is keep trying to be better. That way I can at least like who I am right now.”
  1490.  
  1491. “And you wanted me to avoid finding out about you because…what, I wouldn’t like you either?” Lyle arched his eyebrow at his father. “Was that the idea?”
  1492.  
  1493. “No…well, I guess that would be nice too, but it wasn’t the main idea,” replied Dad. “I was…worried for how you might think about yourself. The older girls…Liena’s doing fine, but Loan has struggled a lot because of the situation I put her in, and Lyra’s always thought she had to be perfect to overcome her parentage. I can’t help but feel that those situations are my fault…maybe if I’d been a bit of a better person, they’d have less to worry about. For the younger kids here, I’ve tried to improve, and that’s…mostly worked ok. For you…I figured you were better off just not knowing you had anything you needed to overcome at all.”
  1494.  
  1495. It went quiet between the two of them again, as Lyle reflected on what Lincoln said. After a moment that felt much longer than it was, the boy finally sighed and muttered, “I guess…I can accept that. You’re…ok. Enough that I won’t be pissed when you and mom hook up again.”
  1496.  
  1497. It took a beat before Dad realized what Lyle had said there. “W-wait, what?”
  1498.  
  1499. “I mean, I’ll still need to be around you a little more before I can make a final judgment or anything, but I don’t think you’re a total scumbag or anything.” Lyle shrugged as he got up. “Just don’t bang her while I’m in the house, kay? Give me, like, a ten-minute pre-bang warning, or something like that.”
  1500.  
  1501. “Wh-what are yo-wha!” Dad tried to get to his feet quickly, only to slip at first and fall back down on his ass. Lyle chuckled a bit at his dad’s struggles as the older man winced, “Ow…Lyle, I’m not…why would you think that we’d…”
  1502.  
  1503. “Start banging again?” Lyle finished the sentence as bluntly as possible.
  1504.  
  1505. “Don’t say it like that!” Dad had now managed to make it to his feet, his face getting a bit flush. “I’m not thinking about…getting together with your mother, Lyle!”
  1506.  
  1507. “No? Well, she is, so I’m making my peace with it now, knowing she’s gonna make it happen.” Lyle sighed as he rolled his eyes. “Trust me, living with her these last 12 years has taught me how convincing she can be…”
  1508.  
  1509. “That’s not the… I’m trying to put all that behind me.” Dad continued to reject Lyle’s ‘you’ll bang my mom’ hypothesis. “I made a commitment that I’m not gonna get wrapped up in my own desires again, and part of that is no more sleeping around. So, no, I WON’T be…”
  1510.  
  1511. “Oh really? And how long have you been holding to that pact?” Lyle smirked back at his dad. “Because I’ve already met some of your VERY young daughters today, which would imply to me that any vows of celibacy you’ve made are either quite recent or quite flexible.”
  1512.  
  1513. “That…” Dad tried to reply, but in his flustered state managed to do little better than, “…look, I’m trying, ok? It’s just…Lola has a way of getting what she wants, and…then she told me to do it for Lana too…Lisa had this whole speech about a critical experiment…and anyway, that’s it! I’m not gonna…”
  1514.  
  1515. Lyle was trying hard not to laugh at how badly his dad was off his game, before noticing the back door open near them and a familiar headband coming through the door. “There you are…with…Dad. Great.”
  1516.  
  1517. Dad turned around to see Lemy, who was not hiding the fact that he was displeased to see him hanging out with Lyle. The older Loud tried to collect himself, brushing off the last conversation, as he weakly greeted Lemy, “Oh…hey, Lem. Sorry, I…”
  1518.  
  1519. “Sorry I split so soon after getting here, Lemy…wanted to have a quick chat with Dad.” Lyle stepped in before Dad could finish and apologize first. “Things to get off my chest, you know? Anyway, I’ve got a bunch more people to meet, so maybe you could lead me around?”
  1520.  
  1521. “Oh…uh…sure…?” Lemy replied with a bit of confusion as Lyle put his hand on his back and pushed him into the house. He’d heard enough talk about Lemy’s blowups at their dad, not to mention getting to see a mini-one yesterday. He figured he could do without that drama killing however much time there was left in the day.
  1522.  
  1523. Besides, he wasn’t joking about how many other people he had to meet. This house was full of Louds, and Lyle was making a point to meet as many as he could to make a good first impression. A few of them he’d already met once before…Lemy was a bit surprised to hear he’d already spoken with Aunt Lisa, of all people, and questioned Lyle about ignoring his sub-basement warnings. Also, to stop Lemy from side-eyeing him for the rest of his visit, he had to restrain himself when meeting the Louds who…ticked most of his boxes, so he didn’t act the way he did when meeting Gloom.
  1524.  
  1525. The afternoon flew by, as did dinner, and soon, Lyle was on his way home, his mom coming by to pick him up. And also try some light flirting with Lincoln, who was trying to ignore Lyle’s wiggling eyebrows as he deflected her. All in all, Lyle reflected, it had been an odd day, but…he guess it wasn’t too bad.
  1526.  
  1527. Now…just one more person he had to talk with.
  1528.  
  1529. ***
  1530.  
  1531. The sun was rising high enough that it couldn’t be called dawn anymore, though the glow of early light had yet to fade into the norm for a sunny day. It was a little less than an hour until Royal Woods Middle School would open, but slight bits of activity could already be seen. The early staff in the main office were walking into the building, and a handful of athletes were training on the field.
  1532.  
  1533. “Set…go!”
  1534.  
  1535. On the hundred-meter track, the girl with the long nose shot off the block, running full-sprint towards the finish. She yelled “Stop!” as she crossed the line, and began slowing her pace until she had come to a stop before looking at the watch on her wrist. Breathing heavily, Marla studied the time displayed on the watch, before clicking her tongue and muttering, “Reset.” The stopwatch returned to zero as she walked back to the starting block.
  1536.  
  1537. Marla took a deep breath, trying to get her breathing back to a normal rhythm before she got back on the block. She got into position, glanced at her watch to make sure it was set at zero again, before shouting, “Set…go!” At the sound of “go”, the watch started ticking upwards as she dashed to the finish once more.
  1538.  
  1539. Across the line, another call of “Stop!”, another slow-down before checking the watch. And another disappointment, clearly, as she growled “…reset.” And then she walked back to the line, ready to start the routine again.
  1540.  
  1541. “Good morning, Marla.”
  1542.  
  1543. Marla hesitated, the voice unfamiliar…and odd, seeing as few others came to the field to practice at this time of day. And no one she was particularly friendly with.
  1544.  
  1545. She turned her head towards the voice, and saw a rather feminine looking boy, carrying a large bag slung over his shoulder. She looked him over quickly, before gruffly asking, “Do I know you?”
  1546.  
  1547. “Probably not. I don’t think we actually spoke when we met yesterday.” The boy shrugged. “I’m Lyle, from the, ah…club meeting, I guess?”
  1548.  
  1549. “The club…ah.” Marla thought about it for a second, before she remembered the gathering of the Louds from the afternoon before. “Right…dunno if I got it across, but I really don’t want to deal with that crap at school, kay? So if you were looking to have a heart-to-heart about that whole mess, then…”
  1550.  
  1551. “Oh…no no, not at all.” Lyle raised his hands apologetically. “Just thought I should say hello. They told me that if I wanted to practice, I had to do it in this area. Do you mind if I set up over here?”
  1552.  
  1553. “…set up?” Marla raised her eyebrow, before glancing at the bag Lyle was carrying. She gave it a moment of thought before shaking her head and continuing, “Sure, whatever. Do what you want.”
  1554.  
  1555. “Thanks, Marla.” Lyle smiled as he put the bag down on the floor and started unzipping it. Marla walked over to the starting blocks again, trying to ignore Lyle as she readied herself for another run. Curiosity got the better of her for a moment, however, and she glanced back towards Lyle to see what he was setting up. As she looked over her shoulder, she watched Lyle pull a worn colored target peppered with small holes out of the bag, setting it up standing against a tree before he pulled out a bow and some arrows.
  1556.  
  1557. “You do archery?” Intrigued, Marla called out to Lyle.
  1558.  
  1559. “A little. I got interested in it when the last Olympics were on.” Lyle replied as he walked to his spot. “The school doesn’t have a club, but they told me I’m more than welcome to practice and ask any gym teachers for coaching, if I want.”
  1560.  
  1561. “Ahuh…” Marla watched Lyle take up a stance as he nocked the arrow. “You any good?”
  1562.  
  1563. Lyle didn’t respond right away, instead drawing the arrow and steadying the bow. He held it drawn for a moment before he released it, with the arrow flying straight and nailing the target…in the five-ring. Lyle let out a deep breath before finally answering, “Could be better.”
  1564.  
  1565. Marla let out a slight chuckle at Lyle's self-deprecation, before she kneeled down in front of the starting blocks again. “Just don’t lose track of one and send it flying at me, alright?”
  1566.  
  1567. “Noted.” Lyle replied with a wry smile as he nocked his next arrow.
  1568.  
  1569. Marla nodded as she put her hands on the ground, getting into the set position, and yelling “Set…go!” once more.
  1570.  
  1571. For the next few minutes, the only sounds from the field were from the running on the track, the occasional thwack of an arrow hitting the target, and the shouts from Marla’s constant starting, stopping, and resetting of her stopwatch. Lyle and Marla kept their attentions on their own work…for the most part. Every now and then, on her walk back to the blocks, Marla would notice Lyle looking her way, as though to ask her something, before turning his attention back to the target and nocking another arrow. She ignored him the first few times, but after the third time she noticed him, her curiosity was piqued once more.
  1572.  
  1573. “Look…” She called out to Lyle. “If you got something to say, just say it. Quit staring a hole in my back already and come out with it.”
  1574.  
  1575. “…was I being that obvious?” Lyle chuckled to himself as he nocked the last arrow in his quiver. “Though, to be fair, you did say you didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t want to bring it up.”
  1576.  
  1577. “Right…because of course you want to talk about that.” There was no small amount of annoyance in Marla’s voice. “…ok, fine. If it’ll get this over with, I’ll give you a one-time pass. Go ahead and ask what you want so I can be done with this conversation.”
  1578.  
  1579. “Alright.” Lyle drew the bow and fired. Eight-ring on this one. Now out of arrows, he started walking to the target as he continued, “So…I visited the Loud residence yesterday.”
  1580.  
  1581. “Figured you might.” Marla picked up a water bottle she had brought with her and took a seat just off the track. “And? What do you think about our local Incest Preservation Society?”
  1582.  
  1583. “Hopefully, that’s not how they advertise themselves.” Lyle rolled his eyes as he started pulling his arrows out of the target. “As for how I feel…it was interesting. And overwhelming. And there were parts that were…kinda weird, like I was being eyed up the whole time.”
  1584.  
  1585. “That’d be Loan.” Marla took a sip from her water. “Don’t worry about it, she’s mostly harmless.”
  1586.  
  1587. Lyle pulled another arrow out before glancing over to Marla. “Only mostly?”
  1588.  
  1589. “I mean, sure, I guess there’s the chance she tries to make a move on you?” Marla shrugged. “I dunno if that’s true or not, but Lupa’s made some cryptic comments about Loan’s porn habits that make me worry for Lemy every now and then. I figure you’d probably be in the danger zone too, is all.”
  1590.  
  1591. “Mmhmm. I’ll keep that in mind.” Lyle pulled his last arrow out and reset the target before he walked back to his spot. “Aside from that…well, it was still kind of weird for me. I don’t have that much family on my mom’s side…it’s pretty much just me, mom, and my grandparents. And then yesterday happens, and I get thrown into a house full of relatives I’d never met before. Completely surrounded by a whole flock of new siblings, aunts, and a dad. Until yesterday, I’d never even imagined being in a situation like that.”
  1592.  
  1593. “Uhhhh huuuh…” Marla dragged out her reply. “So, is this gonna get to the point of what you wanna ask me, or…?”
  1594.  
  1595. “Heh…yeah, I’m getting to that.” Lyle chuckled as he nocked his arrow to start the next round of target practice. “Like I said, yesterday was a weird situation, even before you get to the whole incest bit of it. And that kinda got me thinking. See, everybody I met yesterday…they’ve all bought into that situation. I mean, if somebody wanted to just not deal with all of that mess…granted, it might be hard for one of the kids living there, but one of our aunts or the kids outside the family could just say screw it and resolve not to deal with any part of the family again.”
  1596.  
  1597. “Yet nobody I met at the house yesterday has done that…heck, if I asked, I don’t think any of them would have thought about it. Nobody…except you, that is.” Lyle glanced back at Marla before drawing his bow again. “You have tried to break things off and avoid the rest of the family. I’m just curious why you’ve done that.”
  1598.  
  1599. “…ahhh.” Marla murmured a short reply, but then hesitated, not following up her simple acknowledgment.
  1600.  
  1601. Lyle waited for a moment, taking the time to fire an arrow before he continued, “Like, I get that Lemy’s pissed at Dad, and Lupa’s got…whatever Lupa’s issues are…but they still stick around with the rest of the family. They don’t stay away like you did when Lacy dragged you to the meeting yesterday. And…well, I dunno if you know about some skeletons in the closets of that house that they’ve tried to keep under wraps, but there’s gotta be some reason you’ve stayed away from the Louds. What is it?”
  1602.  
  1603. “Heh…skeletons. Nah, no skeletons that I know of. Then again, I’ve never been through Aunt Lisa’s closet, and if there are any skeletons, they’re almost certainly in there.” Marla joked with a wry smile. “But no, there’s nothing like that keeping me away. It’s…well…”
  1604.  
  1605. Marla trailed off, taking another swig from her water. Lyle waited patiently, quietly nocking, drawing, and firing another arrow while giving Marla the time to collect her thoughts. Finally the girl sighed and grumbled. “Just so you know…I’m fully aware how stupid this reason is. It’s been pointed out to me multiple times, by multiple different people, so I don’t need you adding on to that. Got it?”
  1606.  
  1607. “Roger that.” Lyle nodded with a smirk.
  1608.  
  1609. “Kay then. So…” Marla stood up, leaving her water bottle on the ground as she walked back to the track. “Like you could probably guess from watching me practice, my sport is track. Sprinting. Been doing it since friggin’ first grade.”
  1610.  
  1611. “Really?” Lyle flicked Marla an incredulous look. “They had a track team in first grade?”
  1612.  
  1613. “Nah, nothing like that. But we did have a little sprint track at my grade school, and we would do some running for gym class.” Marla slowly walked the track, towards the starting blocks. “But those first days, when they got us on the track and just told us to go ahead and run, full blast, until we crossed the line…the moment I did it that first time, I just knew that was what I was meant for. Just the pure rush of those first few runs…it was like nothing else.”
  1614.  
  1615. “So I asked the teacher if I could keep sprinting, and he helped me out. We didn’t have a club, but he coached me a little after school. My mom was a riot when I told her I was staying after for sports…bought me my first pair of spikes that same day.” A little smile curled on Marla’s face as she remembered. “I started training…and I picked it up quick. Real quick. Coach always said he could tell I had legit speed right away. I was the fastest first grader in school in like a week. In three weeks I was beating second graders. After like two months, I was blowing past third graders. Summer after first grade, coach asked if I wanted to try a real race for the first time…at the big regional youth track meet.”
  1616.  
  1617. Marla trailed off again, her hands on her hips as the look on her face soured. After waiting a beat, Lyle planted the bow in the ground and leaned on it gently as he asked, “What happened?”
  1618.  
  1619. Silence hung in the air for a second, before Marla finally continued. “We go there, me and mom…and we meet Dad there. Not for me, though. He was there with Lacy.”
  1620.  
  1621. “I was…still little. I knew that he was my dad…he’d come over every now and then, check in on Mom…which I later realized meant, you know, ‘check in’ on Mom.” Marla made air quotes with her fingers. “But that was all I really knew back then. This is my daddy, but he doesn’t live with us because of grown-up reasons. That was it.”
  1622.  
  1623. “And then there was Lacy…my ‘cousin’.” Marla rolled her eyes as she said the last word. “She was all excited and chipper, and…well, you hung out with her yesterday. She was like that. Girl hasn’t changed in seven friggin’ years. I had hung out with her a few times, at some family gatherings, and a few times our moms hung out…they were friends when they were kids, y’see. But beyond that, we were in different school districts, so we didn’t see each other too much…and now here we were, competing against each other in a race.”
  1624.  
  1625. Marla sighed, then started walking the track a bit. “Here’s something about track. Sometimes, in the very first second…from the moment you take off from the block, to the time you get to…maybe here…” Marla stopped, about ten meters down the hundred-meter track. “…you already know what’s going to happen. “Like, ‘I’m pulling away, I got this,’ or, ‘we’re neck and neck, it’ll be close’. I started picking up on it when training with Coach, and after a few weeks of training, barely anyone I raced against was fast enough for me to feel it would even be close.”
  1626.  
  1627. “That track meet…” Another, much deeper sigh escaped her before she continued, “…was the first time I ever realized, right away, ‘I’ve got no chance.’”
  1628.  
  1629. Lyle watched Marla for a moment, as she stared at the track’s finish line, before asking, “…Lacy beat you?”
  1630.  
  1631. Marla nodded. “Wasn’t even close. Second place…the first of many.”
  1632.  
  1633. She was fully scowling now as she walked off the track and sat down, picking her water back up. “Second grade starts, and I train harder than ever before, because now I’ve got a goal. I’m the fastest kid in my school halfway through the year. Summer comes, I get to the meet, and…Lacy. No chance. Second place. Third grade…I train harder, no one comes close to me, I start training with middle schoolers for some challenge…and then comes the meet, and Lacy. Second place! Then fourth grade, and fifth…notice the pattern?!”
  1634.  
  1635. “Yeah…I think I see what you mean.” Lyle scratched the back of his head, projecting a calm face to balance Marla’s growing anger. “She was always just ahead of you, wasn’t she?”
  1636.  
  1637. “Every single year…ohhohhh, though, that wasn’t it. There was another fun little surprise waiting for me.” Marla’s voice dripped with venomous sarcasm. “The summer after fifth grade, after I lose to Lacy AGAIN, Mom says she’s got something important to tell me…her and DAD have something important to tell me. At his house. We go over there, and hey, look, Lacy’s here too. Because she’s gonna be told this something important, too. Because that…was the day we found out we weren’t cousins. We were sisters. Lacy’s ‘Uncle Lincoln’ wasn’t just an uncle to her.”
  1638.  
  1639. “Ah…that’s how you found out, huh?” Lyle scratched his chin. “So…how’d you react to the incest revelation?”
  1640.  
  1641. “Hah…that? I barely even had time to process it.” Marla takes another swig of water, draining the bottle of its remaining liquid. “Cause in a matter of seconds after they drop the bomb on us, Lacy turns to me with that big ol’ smile of hers and tells me how cool this is, because now she’s got a sister who likes the things she likes…AND because we’re both going to the same middle school next year, she’s sure we can become best friends…BEST FRIENDS!”
  1642.  
  1643. With a growl, Marla picked up the now-empty water bottle and chucked it as hard as she could, in the general direction of a trash can nearby. “Here she is, the walking embodiment of how I’m just not good enough at the thing I love more than anything else, and not only are we MUCH more closely related than I ever knew, but she wants us to be buddies! Isn’t that just FUCKING great?!”
  1644.  
  1645. Lyle waited a moment, letting Marla fume a bit to get it out of her system, before he asked, “Did you ever…like, directly talk to Lacy about this?”
  1646.  
  1647. “I said it right then…I wasn’t gonna be friends with the girl I need to beat. Not that it got through her thick head, of course.” Marla’s voice was more even now, though the simmering anger in her words was still easy to spot. “Hell, you saw it yesterday…frigging’ dragging me to that ‘club’ meeting, completely oblivious to the fact that I absolutely don’t want to be anywhere near her. Three years we’ve been at this middle school together, and she still hasn’t taken the hint.”
  1648.  
  1649. Marla laid back, resting her body on the ground as she stared up at the sky. Lyle thought about what to say next, absentmindedly picking up his bow and pulling an arrow from his quiver as he searched for a response. Before one came to him, though, Marla called over to him, “You probably think I’m a crazy bitch, don’t you?”
  1650.  
  1651. “…no. Not really.” Lyle replied as he nocked the arrow. “Everyone’s got their reasons for doing things. I’m not gonna mock you for that.”
  1652.  
  1653. “Heh…well aren’t you mature.” A wry smile curled across Marla’s face as she remained prone.
  1654.  
  1655. “I try to be…though admittedly, yesterday was pretty challenging in that regard.” He continued to speak as he drew the arrow. “What about the rest of them? Any other Louds drive you crazy?”
  1656.  
  1657. “Eh…they’re fine, I guess.” Marla waved her hand. “Lemy and Lina are cool…well, when Lem keeps his mouth shut, that is. Gloom’s a twit with tits, but she’s a good kid. Lupa…I mean, girl’s batshit crazy, but also I wouldn’t have passed English last year without her help, so she’s ok in my book. I don’t have any problems dealing with them in school.”
  1658.  
  1659. “But you don’t hang out with them.” Lyle reset his draw of the bow as he adjusted his position.
  1660.  
  1661. “If I start hanging out with one, then Lacy’ll think it’s okay for her to try the buddy-buddy routine again.” Marla got up off the ground, brushing the dirt off her backside. “Better to just avoid them so I don’t have to deal with that mess.”
  1662.  
  1663. Marla started walking back to the blocks, before letting out another sigh and muttering, “Look…I know. Lacy’s a good kid, and she doesn’t mean anything by it, and all of that. I get it. But I can’t give in on this. Until I can beat Lacy, I won’t get involved with the Louds. I’ve made that commitment…and I’m gonna see it through.”
  1664.  
  1665. “…I see.” Lyle drew his bow again, aiming in on the target before he added, “Can I ask one more thing? Last time, I promise.”
  1666.  
  1667. “You sure about that?” Marla jokingly replied as she made it back to the blocks. “Alright, sure. Go ahead.”
  1668.  
  1669. Lyle loosed the arrow, which found its mark in the seven-ring, before he finally asked, “What about Dad?”
  1670.  
  1671. “…what about Dad?” Marla gave him a quizzical look in reply. “Like, what do I think of him, or…”
  1672.  
  1673. “Yeah, something like that.” Lyle planted his bow in the ground again as he turned to Marla. “Opinions on Dad seem…split, as far as I can see. I talked to him yesterday, and…well, it’s kinda hard to pin him down, but for a guy who avoided being in my life as much as possible, he seemed…ok. But I’m curious to hear your perspective…like I said, you’re the only one who’s avoided the whole Loud family project, and Dad is more or less the centerpiece of all that. So I’m curious what your view on…”
  1674.  
  1675. “He’s a horny bastard.” Marla quickly cut Lyle off.
  1676.  
  1677. “Ah.” Lyle was a bit taken aback by the suddenness of Marla’s reply. “That’s…”
  1678.  
  1679. “Dude plowed pretty much every other girl in town, including almost all his sisters, had a bunch of illegitimate kids, and lives in a goddamn fuck-palace with his sister-wives.” Marla shrugged. “So yeah, horny bastard. I was super pissed about it when I first found out, but I’ve been giving him a bit of slack lately, mainly because he does seem like he’s trying to get better. And because by this point, I’ve realized that all boys are horny bastards, he’s just the one who actually got girls instead of fantasizing about them.”
  1680.  
  1681. “I mean…” Lyle slowly tried to rally a defense of all boys. “I wouldn’t say we’re all…”
  1682.  
  1683. “You were practically drooling over Gloom’s tits when I got dragged into the club yesterday.” Marla cut Lyle off again as she knelt down in front of the starting blocks. “And you were staring at my ass a couple times just now, too.”
  1684.  
  1685. Lyle went silent, as Marla was giving him a pretty harsh side-eye. After a beat, he responded, “In my defense, her boobs are great, as is your…”
  1686.  
  1687. “Pfft…shut up.” Marla rolled her eyes again, trying to contain a laugh at his earnest reply. Before she could admonish him again though, a bell could be heard ringing through the air from the school.
  1688.  
  1689. “Oh…looks like time’s up then.” Lyle picked up his bag from the ground as he started walking towards the target to put his equipment away. “Well, thanks for talking, Marla. I appreciate it.”
  1690.  
  1691. “Yeah, yeah…whatever. Get outta here, kid.” Marla waved Lyle away before she took her position on the blocks, taking a breath before yelling, “Set…go!”
  1692.  
  1693. She dashed off, and Lyle watched her speed down the track for a moment before setting about his task. He quickly put away the target, bow, quiver, and arrows, packing it all in the bag by the time Marla had made it to the finish, mumbled out a “Reset” and started walking back to the blocks. Lyle zipped the bag up before calling out to Marla once more, “So…want me to find another spot for tomorrow? Make sure I’m keeping with your whole ‘not dealing with the family’ deal, and all.”
  1694.  
  1695. “That’s…” Marla thought for about a moment before waving him off. “Nah, whatever. You can train here if you want…it’s cool. Just no more questions, alright.”
  1696.  
  1697. “Alright…deal. See you tomorrow then, Marla.” Lyle strapped the bag across his shoulder, turning to leave with a wave. “And hey, if you need any help with anything, you can let me know. I’ll be around.”
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