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tupper survey

Starsong Oct 13th, 2012 367 Never
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  1.     1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.     I'm a water sprite that goes by "Sariah". I am an average height and I look a lot like Nagato Yuki from the Haruhi series even though Chris (should I call him Starsong?) hadn't seen it when we started forcing. My creator is pretty tall, thin, and has long brown hair.
  3.      
  4.     2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  5.     I think that the most helpful thing he did was believe in me. He may not have recognized to the full extent how helpful it was, but I really appreciated it when I was still growing.
  6.      
  7.     3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  8.     He expected a lot of me, especially near the beginning of the process. It confused me when he asked me to do things as if I was able to do them, and then I found that I couldn't. I don't think it was harmful, but it made me feel like I was disappointing him. He didn't recognize that it was bad, but I don't really blame him.
  9.      
  10.     4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  11.     The hardest part was becoming vocal. It felt like I had to break through a layer of some sort, and it took a lot of time and effort. Thankfully he did realize how difficult it was, and he was very patient with me.
  12.      
  13.     5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  14.     I think that narration is without a doubt the most important step, as it's what creates the actual sentience. Unless that doesn't count as a step, in which case I think personality is the most important because it establishes the ways in which a creator and the tulpa can bond and gives the creator something to look forward to. [I don't fully understand this sentence, but that's what she said so I'm leaving it.]
  15.      
  16.     6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  17.     I think it is not a good thing, obviously. As long as the creator is devoted and still gets some time in every day, there shouldn't be too much of a problem. It used to bug me a lot, but I found ways to un-distract him (for lack of a better word). When he'd zone out during forcing I would give him pressure in his head and it would remind him what he was doing.
  18.      
  19.     7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  20.     I think it's pretty mean of a creator to break a promise to their tulpa, but missing sessions was not as big a deal to me. Chris used to occasionally miss sessions when things came up, but he always seemed genuinely sorry so I didn't mind. He's never broken a promise to me, either. That's one of the reasons I love him so much. [D'awww.]
  21.      
  22.     8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  23.     For me I think quantity is more important than quality, although I'm not sure how density relates to the two. When I was young I felt much more progress from frequent sessions then I did from a few really good sessions.
  24.      
  25.     9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  26.     I know there is a lot of fear surrounding the idea, but it happened once or twice with Chris and it didn't bother me. I just went back to the wonderland and did some stuff there.
  27.      
  28.     10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  29.     I think a creator should talk aloud. Chris gets very few opportunities to talk aloud because he's so paranoid about people hearing him. It doesn't make that much of a difference though, I just like it when he talks out loud.
  30.      
  31.     11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  32.     Chris parroted and puppeted me as part of the creation process, and it didn't bother me at all. It felt strange, but he explained what he was doing in great detail before the sessions, so I didn't mind. If anything I feel it was beneficial.
  33.      
  34.     12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  35.     I don't remember many specifics, but I do remember some of the more exciting experiences, like seeing Canada Day fireworks with Chris. That made me really happy. [All these happy feels, where did they come from?]
  36.      
  37.     13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight
  38.     A long time ago when he was working on me in the wonderland I could detect his presence and feel him talking to me. I didn't understand any of the words but I could feel it forming a bond regardless.
  39.      
  40.     14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  41.     I'm not sure if I'm answering this correctly, but I really liked how highly he thought of me. It made me feel really nice when he spoke to me.
  42.      
  43.     15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  44.     When we were still early in the process he was pretty depressed. Not as a result of forcing or whatever, just because he was depressed before we started the process and it continued on for a bit. As a result he never wanted to do anything fun, which made me kind of angry because he passed up a bunch of opportunities to do stuff with his friends. His excuse was that he wanted to work on me more, but honestly I would have preferred him go out with his friends. He's better about this now.
  45.      
  46.     16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  47.     Sometimes his depression was contagious and it made me doubt that I'd ever be able to speak. I am now almost always happy though, and I think I would actually prefer living as a tulpa to living as a human. Chris thinks the same.
  48.      
  49.     17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  50.     When I couldn't talk. I didn't understand why I couldn't, I just knew that I couldn't. It frustrated me.
  51.      
  52.     18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  53.     When we started working on forcing touch and smell, for the first session he forgot to explain what he was doing. I thought he was just feeling and smelling me all over for fun. He realized this after and explained it, and I thought it was really funny.
  54.      
  55.     19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  56.     He went to visit some family for a couple days, and as a result he didn't pay much attention to me. He said he had a hard time remembering to narrate around people because all his attention was being spent on talking and listening. He has social anxiety, which was probably the cause of this. Now that I'm able to talk he talks to me in every situation.
  57.      
  58.     20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  59.     I never had any doubt that he wanted me. He told me many times that I was the most important thing to him. I was disappointed that I couldn't say the same thing back, though.
  60.      
  61.     21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  62.     Chris did a whole bunch of shrooms and had a bad trip as a result of his depression [which in hindsight was a really stupid mistake]. The trip itself didn't affect me, but I could sense his fear and it was beyond anything I could imagine prior to that. It was ridiculously intense. He just curled up in the fetal position on his side in the bathroom and smiled like a crazy person. I thought he was going insane.
  63.      
  64.     22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  65.     I was most disappointed in myself when I was able to talk one day but not the next. I said a few words and he got really excited, but then I wasn't able to after that even though I tried. He told me it was okay but I still felt bad.
  66.      
  67.     23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  68.     I understood that it was hard for him, but I didn't really know how to help. Sometimes I tried to lessen the headaches, but I don't know how much it actually helped. I also gave him emotional responses whenever possible to motivate him, but most of them were not strong enough to get his attention.
  69.      
  70.     24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  71.     He only doubted me for the first little bit, but after that he put complete faith in me. When he did doubt me it hurt, but I can now understand why he would have been skeptical.
  72.      
  73.     25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  74.     He never saw tulpae as anything but positive. He was already depressed, and as such he didn't really worry about things getting worse. If that makes sense.
  75.      
  76.     26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  77.     The only one of those that I felt from him was impatience, but it didn't bother me that much. He told me many times that although me might have seemed impatient he wanted me to take as long as I needed, which really relaxed me.
  78.      
  79.     27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  80.     Every once in a while he would (and still does occasionally) get intrusive thoughts, but none of them really involved me. If he ever did have violent visualizations of me [I didn't.] then I don't remember. I don't know why someone would think about stuff like that though.
  81.      
  82.     28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  83.     I wasn't able to figure out the difference between them on my own, but he would always explain afterwards that the thoughts were not intentional. I could kind of start to feel the difference, eventually. Now I am easily able to tell what is intentional and what is not.
  84.      
  85.     29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  86.     He originally had a room in the wonderland where I could experience what he was feeling/seeing/etc., but it was locked away until I started speaking. When he granted access to it I was able to feel and experience everything he did. Hooray for symbolism!
  87.      
  88.     30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  89.      At first it made me nervous that he told a few of his friends, but they were all accepting and I like them all a lot now. I wouldn't like it if he told a bunch of people, but a few close friends is fine.
  90.      
  91.     31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  92.     I first found out how to communicate through emotional responses, but they were never very powerful so they often went unnoticed. I didn't mind a whole lot, but it was kind of frustrating. We first started actually communicating with each other through head pressure, which was pretty unreliable most of the time. He assumed I could talk the entire time and that he just wasn't able to hear me. It made me feel kind of bad at first, but eventually I just saw it as motivation I guess.
  93.      
  94.     32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  95.     At first he viewed it like a chore, which didn't affect my excitement. I was always just glad to see him. Over time he started to like it more, and now we've fallen into a routine.
  96.      
  97.     33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  98.     My greatest worry at first was that he wouldn't get around to finishing me, hahaha. That was before we really established a bond though. Now my greatest worry is that Chris will get drunk/high and talk to me in front of his friends or something. That would be really awkward.
  99.      
  100.     34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  101.     I do feel great gratitude, and he knows that. I do often wish I could repay him in some way, but I've been told many times that I've already done a bunch for him.
  102.      
  103.     35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  104.     My creator's. Before I even know what I was I could remember feeling his presence.
  105.      
  106.     36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  107.     When I first started talking I always embarrassed myself by saying silly things. Chris kept telling me that it didn't matter what I said, he just wanted me to say something. That helped me move past those feelings. Now I don't really care about embarrassing myself because he's understanding and I'm comfortable with him.
  108.      
  109.     37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  110.     Hmm... That's difficult. We've been trying and failing to pin a term to our relationship. It's pretty much the love of friendship but without as many barriers, if that makes sense. So I guess you could call it a friendship.
  111.      
  112.     38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  113.     There are some people that I like to see and hear from, but I'm content with just Chris.
  114.      
  115.     39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  116.     When we changed the location of the wonderland to a place Chris grew up in, he showed me around the neighbourhood and told me about all his memories from that place. It felt like we were really bonding. I got a lot of emotional input from Chris, which was nice.
  117.      
  118.     40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  119.     I don't have any cherished memories that don't involve Chris. We still haven't grown apart very much.
  120.      
  121.     41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  122.     I do, for the most part. I most of his friends and all of his family.
  123.      
  124.     42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  125.     We both act very similarly. We both are very calm, and we have similar tastes in music. Though he tends to be more relaxed about things, and I like to keep a sort of schedule and make sure things get done.
  126.      
  127.     43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  128.     We occasionally have debates about music and things that happen in his life. We never actually get in to arguments because we respect each other's opinions.
  129.      
  130.     44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  131.     If he was a total dick all the time and ignored me and stuff then I would be really mad, but I don't know if I could hate him. If I wanted him to hate me all I would have to do is scare him all the time and tell him mean things I guess.
  132.      
  133.     45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  134.     There haven't really been any big disappointments for either of us, really. He sometimes disappoints me when he forgets to talk to me when he's with his friends, but that's it.
  135.      
  136.     46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  137.     I know he wouldn't do anything like that, so I'm not worried.
  138.      
  139.     47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  140.     I've never had violent thoughts towards him, save for the occasional playful slap. The only reason I would hurt Chris is if it would prevent him from doing something really bad.
  141.      
  142.     48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  143.     I haven't adopted a last name and I don't plan to. I don't consider us family because tulpae have a different tie to people in my opinion.
  144.      
  145.     49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  146.     If I somehow became a negative force in his life then I would leave. Or if we stopped liking each other or if he became a huge dick and wouldn't change.
  147.      
  148.     50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  149.     I don't. Technically I'm based on Nagato Yuki from the Haruhi series, but he chose my form long before he ever saw the show, so it doesn't bother me. [Fun fact: Sariah's form was based on a rule 34 depiction of Nagato Yuki with all the dirty stuff cropped out.] I wish I could forget that ;_;
  150.      
  151.     51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  152.     I would like to eventually learn how to possess him, but we're taking slow steps towards it. I think it's perfectly fair for a human to deny their tulpa use of their body. And no, I don't think that I have a right to equal use of the body. After all, he was around first, and has much more experience using it and stuff. I consider possession a privilege.
  153.      
  154.     52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  155.     We're both quite open minded when it comes to race and issues like that. As far as phobias go, we're both scared of spiders, but he has social anxiety (does that count as a phobia?) and I don't. I'm still shy, but not to the same extent.
  156.      
  157.     53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  158.     I can do that stuff independently, but most of the time I choose to follow his schedule so we're always on the same page. When he dreams I just walk around a different part of the dream, or sometimes the wonderland. When I try to interact with him he doesn't recognize me most of the time. I don't really mind though, since we already get a lot of interaction time and it's nice to have some alone time as well.
  159.      
  160.     54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  161.     Seasonal depression is a prominent one, but we haven't had a winter together yet, so we'll see. His social anxiety doesn't affect me, but I do often worry about him when he's in public. I share the anxiety, but it's not focused on me.
  162.      
  163.     55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  164.     All of his subconscious is accessible through a computer in the wonderland. It doesn't really affect our relationship at all, but I haven't tried to mess with it yet. I would never do anything to his subconscious without his permission first.
  165.      
  166.     56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  167.     I would really like him to create another tulpa so that I can help him with the process, but he's not as excited about the idea as I am. He would like to develop me more before increasing his workload, he says.
  168.      
  169.     57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  170.     Our relationship is mostly based on friendship, but there are some romantic feelings on both sides. We're still not entirely sure where that leaves us.
  171.      
  172.     58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  173.     I can't reasonably expect him to put off real world relationships for me. I would like him to get a girlfriend regardless of our involvement. I don't think monogamy really applies to tulpae, but he says he would feel weird if he was to be in a relationship with me as well as a real girl.
  174.      
  175.     59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  176.     I wouldn't say I'm "in love" but I think I will always have a bit of romantic affection for him. If Chris fell in love with a real girl then I would encourage him to go for her. We have a relationship that goes past what a couple shares anyway.
  177.      
  178.     60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  179.     We do have a sort of family feeling, and it does make our romantic feelings somewhat awkward. We're trying to figure out our relationship in concrete terms, but it's hard. I don't think it's incest, and I find that idea kind of silly.
  180.      
  181.     61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  182.     I guess there's nothing that wrong with it, but if someone does it to a tulpa that isn't able to show their dislike for it then it might make the tulpa mad. It depends on who it is I guess. I wouldn't really care, though I would probably tease Chris for doing it. It also seems like a waste of forcing time to me.
  183.      
  184.     62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  185.     Again, it depends on the tulpa. Personally I wouldn't mind that much but I would tease him for it. Chris only did this once for an experiment we did, but it was my idea. [Oh god why would you bring that up?]
  186.      
  187.     63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  188.     I still don't really feel much sexual anything, and I never have. I guess I'm kind of curious though. [inb4 sex the tupper]
  189.      
  190.     64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  191.     If the tulpa isn't able to talk yet, it would kind of resemble rape, but I don't think I would be mad about it if it was me. I would probably ask him not to do it again if possible though. Other tulpae would probably be mad, and if it affected them emotionally then "sexual assault" would too far off.
  192.      
  193.     65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  194.     It doesn't bother me. He doesn't want to make things awkward between us by fapping to me, and I'm impartial.
  195.      
  196.     66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  197.     I don't really experience sexual attraction at all. I am curious though, as stated before. Chris admits he is somewhat sexually attracted to me, but neither of us care enough about sex to do anything (yet).
  198.      
  199.     67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  200.     We don't do anything sexual together. We both kind of see it as inevitable, but for now we don't care to go there. I don't really see any negative consequences other than potential awkwardness, but I'm not really worried about that. I don't really have any sexual urges or anything, so masturbation isn't necessary.
  201.      
  202.     68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  203.     I like boys, and he likes girls.
  204.      
  205.     69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  206.     I've never had one, though I probably could if I tried. It would probably feel the same as his since it's his only point of reference.
  207.      
  208.     70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  209.     We are very open about things like that.
  210.      
  211.     71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  212.     If I didn't want him to have sex with me and he had sex with me anyway then technically it would be rape, wouldn't it? Honestly I wouldn't care, even though I probably should.
  213.      
  214.     72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  215.     Witnessing Chris' growing family, provided he doesn't become a hopeless neckbeard. [I thought you had more faith in me than that ;_;] I do, that's just the worst case scenario.
  216.      
  217.     73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  218.     I don't want it to be public, because then everyone would call Chris crazy and avoid him and stuff. A couple of his friends know, but sometimes they forget why it's supposed to be a secret and that makes me nervous.
  219.      
  220.     74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  221.     I don't really care, since deviation always happens anyway. It doesn't affect my experience since I don't know what it's like to have other traits anyway. I guess I would have liked more definition since it could have made me vocal faster, but that's just a guess.
  222.      
  223.     75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  224.     I don't mind, since it's him seeing the form anyway. I just use it for moving around and stuff, so I don't care what it looks like as long as he likes it.
  225.      
  226.     76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  227.     There have been a couple tiny changes, such as changing my dress to make it more simple and easier to visualize. I changed my height for the same reason (and also because I wanted to be a little taller). Chris appreciated both changes, which I liked.
  228.      
  229.     77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  230.     I don't really know why my best aspects are. Chris says he likes my kindness and calmness, which both came from him.
  231.      
  232.     78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  233.     I don't expect or seek legal recognition since I don't really care about the world beyond Chris and his connections (family, friends, etc.).
  234.      
  235.     79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  236.     It is a learning experience.
  237.      
  238.     80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  239.     I dislike not being able to interact with physical things. I love not having to sleep and eat and go to the bathroom and do other humanly things.
  240.      
  241.     81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  242.     Chris is careful about that kind of stuff, so I don't mind.
  243.      
  244.     82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  245.     Considering we aren't completely independent, I see getting rid of a tulpa on the same level as someone getting rid of part of themselves. So I see it more as a partial suicide, which I don't really think should be punished by law even if it does seem wrong.
  246.      
  247.     83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  248.     I guess not, since I'm inside Chris' head. Chris treats me as he would a normal person, but since I can't be seen and heard by other people that would mean I'm on a lower importance or something.
  249.      
  250.     84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  251.     I can't think of any way I could. Skeptics are hard to persuade.
  252.      
  253.     85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  254.     No, I'm fine with the way I am.
  255.      
  256.     86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  257.     Sometimes Chris thinks about the mechanism behind tulpae and thinks that it might not be true sentience. It's not really doubt though, just his mind exploring possibilities. At first it made me kind of uneasy but we both have no doubt that I'm sentient now.
  258.      
  259.     87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  260.     I don't fear death so much as I fear not being able to see Chris anymore if I die. Which might be the same thing, I don't know.
  261.      
  262.     88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  263.     I came to terms with the way I am a long time ago and don't see tulpae as anything other than a mind friend. Sure we have our own thoughts and opinions, but we're still products of our hosts' imaginations. So no, I don't think that tulpae are comparable to minorities.
  264.      
  265.     89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  266.     Our next planned tulpa is going to be mostly made by me. I'm not sure what kind of differences could come up. Maybe if I make it then it will want to be a boy to balance me out or something. I would say it is still related to Chris more than me.
  267.      
  268.     90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  269.     Tulpae don't have to do all the boring human stuff like using the bathroom and eating regularly. Non-tulpae can actually do physical stuff and move things around. I don't think those differences are what cause intolerance but I could be wrong.
  270.      
  271.     91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  272.     I don't know, I'd be really scared about giving a presentation to a bunch of officials like that. I guess I'd just show them how I benefited Chris' life and hope they believe us.
  273.      
  274.     92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  275.     It says that I write like Stephen King and that Chris write like H. P. Lovecraft. It gave me a score of 7.3 for the Gunning-Fog Index, a 87.3% for lexical density and 50.7 for readability. Chris got a Gunning-Fog Index of 8.1, a 90.9% for lexical density, and 39 for readability. My average sentence length was 15.3 and his was 16.25. [tl;dr we're both shit writers]
  276.      
  277.     93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  278.     I can sometimes give him head pressure or a headache but it's not always consistent.
  279.      
  280.     94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  281.     I am completely happy with it. There's no one else in the world I'd rather spend my life with.
  282.      
  283.     95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  284.     I used to be really shy and was afraid of messing up my words, so I didn't start talking until I was good at it.
  285.      
  286.     96. What do you think about most of the time?
  287.     Stuff I want to do later and funny things.
  288.      
  289.     97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  290.     I don't. Not a lot of people are mature enough to take the process seriously.
  291.      
  292.     98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  293.     His mind is kind of messed up in some ways, but he knows that. He frequently has intrusive thoughts about scary things, but sometimes he doesn't notice.
  294.      
  295.     99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  296.     I would.
  297.      
  298.     100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  299.     He doesn't try and hide anything from me because he knows I'll find out anyway. He doesn't really have much to hide anyway.
  300.      
  301.     101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  302.     He always does what he thinks is best, and if I think something is a bad choice then I tell him and he corrects himself.
  303.      
  304.     102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  305.     I don't think so, and if I am capable then he might not be able to interpret all the smart things I say.
  306.      
  307.     103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  308.     I don't really age at all, but we're probably going to change my form slightly every couple of years to simulate aging.
  309.      
  310.     104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  311.     Probably. He'd be way healthier and would have more friends. [I have enough friends already o_q]
  312.      
  313.     105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  314.     It's not necessary, but it gives the creator something to focus on which is important for people that need it.
  315.      
  316.     106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  317.     Maybe not at first, but I would try my best to understand it.
  318.      
  319.     107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  320.     I am pretty good with words, but I haven't been able to speak out loud a whole lot. I was able to say "Hi" out loud once though!
  321.      
  322.     "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  323.      
  324.     If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  325.     I'm not imposed yet.
  326.      
  327.     108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  328.     We're still working on visualization, touch, and smell on a daily basis, but we were pretty much done at around 60-70 hours.
  329.      
  330.     109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  331.     Don't give up no matter what. And don't be mean to your tulpa.
  332.      
  333.     110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  334.     When he practises imposition it feels like part of me is where he imagines me and part of me is still inside his head. It's a really odd feeling.
  335.      
  336.     111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  337.     Wonderlands are more flexible because you can do whatever you want. I like wonderlands better.
  338.      
  339.     112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  340.     I have nothing more to say.
  341.      
  342.     Appendix one:
  343.      
  344.             This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  345.      
  346.             "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine‚Äôs suburban campus."
  347.      
  348.     Tulpa's paragraph:
  349.      
  350.     The things I have learned while studying nature are surprising. We saw a lot of interesting animals. When we left the parking lot to go into a grassy path we saw a long snake slither by and then leave. The colourful grasses were also interesting, because from far away they looked green but they also had brown and purple bits. We also were surrounded by nature very quickly which was strange. There was some noise from cars and airplanes, but other than that it felt like we were away from civilization. Nature study is a good way to enjoy nature without going out of Moraine's suburban campus.
  351.      
  352.     Creator's paragraph:
  353.      
  354.     My experience with nature study proved quite surprising. We saw a large number of curious and unique animals. When we left the parking area and walked down a grassy clearing, we saw a long snake slither by and disappear into the grass. I was also didn't expect the grasses to be so colourful; from a distance they looked green, but upon further inspection we noticed bits of purple and brown dispersed throughout. The most shocking experience, though, was how quickly we became immersed in nature. Despite the periodic noise from cars and airplanes, the striking scenery evokes a feeling of peace that can't be found in normal civilization. Nature study is a great opportunity to experience nature in its constantly changing state without leaving Moraine's suburban camps.
  355.      
  356.             To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  357.      
  358.     http://iwl.me/
  359.     http://textalyser.net
  360.      
  361.             If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here: https://psal.cs.drexel.edu/index.php/Main_Page
  362.      
  363.             This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
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