The legend of GotFrag

As the originator of the term meatshot I get that question a lot but lucky for you I'm here to settle this debate once and for all.

What's a meatshot?:

Dying with uber so many times you get the very act named after yourself (gluber). DATS A MEATSHOT

Getting RAPED by complexity and making excuses "HAHAHA DIDN'T EXPECT TO WIN DIDN'T PRACTICE HAHAHAHAHAHSFHSFHF GONE 10 YEARS HAHAHAAHHAHAHA~~~~~~~~~." DATS A MEATSHOT

Being a SHI.TTY corrupt cevo admin who no one respects. DATS A MEATSHOT

Using ringers in matches. DATS A MEATSHOT

Getting banned from eseai for being a bunch of idiots. DATS A MEATSHOT

"HAHA I'M SO HIGH RIGHT NOW AHAHAHASHDH SHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH." DATS A MEATSHOT

"NEVER PLAYED THIS MAP BEFORE THATS WHY IM SUCKING HAHAHAHAH." DATS A MEATSHOT

13 years of quake, ranked 90th. DATS A MEATSHOT

HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8) HAHA MEATSHOT 8)

DATS A MEATSHOT.

Any questions? #meatshot



---



rofl who the hell are these fools voting woot as the best demoman? At what point did smart play and good aim become overlooked in favor of random mouse flicking and laying stickies everywhere in between constant failed jumps on the enemy medic. Obviously a better teammate than destro or solid, who actually attempt to do damage rather than just cleanup garbage frags.

here is a fun game: download a woot demo or stv of his team and attempt to count the number of shots which are aimed. Place bets with friends in mumble over how many times he will stickyjump into the other team to make up for his lack of dming ability. I know it's tempting to spec sureshot carrying him but take the time to truly observe this demoman and try to decipher what exactly he is attempting to do for his team at any given time. and if you still think he is good go to steam, right click tf2, select "delete local content" and take up a mw2 gaming career.



---



Im James... today, on the day of my 6th grade gradation, I find it in me that good things could hapen. My mom dad support me in all I do, know they support me if I do tihs. Conter-Strike, most amazon game ever made, so money to be had in. No one ahahah me anymore, I be sirius in no time. Need a name.. this thing, it be the glowing lite of online gamming. But it need something... more. It need... a B.

b-Light.... gamming? Im James... Im be Light gaming.. Today new day for all electonic sport star. No sooner will tolerate bad owners who no pay and be imatur. A child may be, but smart indede. From now on, I in-gauge solly in the internet. They will no my name - James 'Blackfoger' Larsen.

Fech me a Coak, Morales.



---




.............................,-''...
..............................'',... : : : : : : : : :''~-,,
................................''... ,-~-~' : : : : : : : : : : : @ : )''-,,_
..............................,-~'... ,-'' : : : : : @ : : : : : : : : : : : '' : : :"'''~-,
..............................''-... , '' : : : : : :i, : : : : : : : : : : , : - : _,,--~, : ''-,
................................. '',-'' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : _,,--~'''''"#####... : :|'
.................................,'' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :\'"#############| : ,''IM HIGH AS FUCK
................................, : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : '',############,-' ;-'
..............................,-'' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ''-,########,- ' ;-''
.............................,'' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : -,_ : : ''~----~'''",,-&#...
.................,--,,_...,'' : : : : :_: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ''\~--,,,,,,--''''...
.....,-'''""''... : : : : :,'' ,' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : '',
......''-,;;;;;;;;;;';;;;;,&#... : : : : ,,-'' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :'',
..........'' --,,;;;;;;;;'' : : ,,--''' : : : : : : ,,- :, : : : : : : : : : :'|
............,--''';;;;;;;'... : : : : : : : ,,-''~--'' : : : : : : : : : : '|
............''-,,_;;;;,-'' : : : : : : _,,--''' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :'|
.................."-'' : : : : : :,- '' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :|
.................,'' : : : : : : :'-,, : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : |
..................''-,: : : : : : : : '' -,,_ : : ___ : : : : : : : : : : '\
...................,'' ''-, : : : : : : : : : """_ : :',~, : : : : : : : : :',
..................,'' : : :'' -,, : : : : : : : : ' :''-,'' : |' : : : : : : : : : |
.......,''~-,,...,'' : : : : : : '' ,- : : : : : : : : ' :,'' : : : : : : : : : : ',
.,-~--,\;;;;;''-,| : : : : : : : : '', : : : : : : : :,-'' : : : : : : : : : : : :',
(';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| : : : : : : : : : '' -,,_ : : _,-'' : : : : : : : : : : : : : :',
...'' -,;;;;;;;;;;| : : : : : : : : : : : : :"" : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :'',
...,-~'''';;;;;;;,'' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ',
...raww,,;,'' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : '',
.............,'-' : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ,



---




Scrimmed Team Consortium last night and may have found a hacker. I personally think there is no question that he hacks. The shots he makes are a pretty much all BS and you can clearly see him move his dot straight up and down to get headshots.

To top it off, the rest of team is very mediocre and we rolled them hard with a clusterfudge of players and no demo. Also we had Virulent so we were at a clear disadvantage there.

Anyway, for optimum lulz download the demo and spec the red sniper. For fierce healing, spec the blue medic. To see Virulent get dominated time and time again, spec blue sniper.




---




Teh Lineup

Yellowfrog: Medic
Ggglygy: Pyro
Dondi: Soldier
Jib: Heavy (!?!)
Zeilo: Demo
Daedalus: Soldier

WHOA. we were warmed up and ready to go. After some stressful moments getting our 6th player in the game with the anti cheat on etc.. we were off. What a battle. I must say gggly is a madman. This was one of our most successful line ups. Gggly and i USUALLY play scout but, not this time. We dabbled a bit early on but it was obvious this battle was going to be won in close quarters. Our unorthodox lineup was bringing out the raeg in our opponents. Little sny remarks in between us steam rolling them. WHATEVS. we brought the heat. Luckily we’d been playing all day, when it came crunch time we were spot on. The communication was solid, no arguments.. not really many miscues even. First round was kind of close.. IMO the tide swung in our favor with me as heavy. We were working our new strategy of ubering the pyro, heavy comes in second with shotty and everyone else cleans up the mess. Worked great both times we were on offense. You got a pyro burning you up who’s invincible, and the next closest guy has 400 hp (buffed) .. They would just kinda run backwards shooting at the ubered pyro hoping he’d stop. and they learned quick.. GGLY DONT SOTP>.





---



Are you surprised #27? What's VG made of?
Let's see...
Droog "My chin thinks I should be on pandemic as I'm better than anyone in open"
BUICK "Let me follow only Droog around in matches so his stats look good, and also I'm such a pro mind-Medic player",
tMarshall "I'm so infantile and emo and high and make the dumbest posts ever",
Lange "Hi I ragequit mumble 24/7 after a bad scrim but then make a dumb movie, also incredibly gullible",
Gremaud "When I'm mad and emo so I go all quiet and maybe ragescout" and denial....who's pretty awesome so nothing can be said about him.

Swap in dkay and Sheep and just maybe that team will be likeable.
At least ehfk "let me suck some more EG cock" isn't really part of it anymore



---



One time i got various invite players to tell dave_ that i was an amazing demo while his team was looking for one, so dave_ instantly added me and asked me to try out. I was biting my lip in anticipation of getting to play a trick on dave_'s team. I had heard that they had just been dicks to xH and cut him in a dick way, so i added the poor little guy and asked if there was anything i could do to make them especially angered at me. He told me that he (from time to time) would hold on pipe on granary last and that the team just hated that, i took a note on my post-it note and joined dave_'s mumble right away! The scrim had started and when i got to mid i attempted to caber an enemy scout, team dave_ did not notice, so i had to try something drastic. I asked the medic to give me a kritz, and when he did by golly i shot that krit sticky straight up in the air so high i was surprised none of the team had said anything about it. I was starting to get annoyed at the fact i could do anything retarded and they didnt mind just because some invite players said i was "the next up and coming soup". it got to the point to where we had to defend last. I had taken a look at my notes and saw xH's advice, i jumped up all the way to that fucking pipe and held up there. A team mate said something like "I dont think you should hold up there" and i said "kalkin does it all the time its alright" and the team mate said "oh, alright".




---




Our mumble drew silent the moment he entered the channel; dflame, the legend, the MGE all-star himself was here, in our mumble, about to play for my team!
I could feel myself starting to sweat, anticipation rising in my blood. I nervously opened a chat window with my medic. It took a few tries, my hands were shaking, I could barely control my usually nimble fingers. Finally I managed to type out the sentence. "This is it. We have to impress him, our TF2 careers are on the line."

Not wanting to show my true emotions, I took a few heavy breaths before trying to make my voice seem deep and important. "Hey dflame, thanks for ringing." I let out a sigh of relief the moment my finger left my talk key. This was it, it was actually happening! He said nothing in return, his stoic silence reassuring the team that he was here for our benefit, not his; and boy were we grateful.

The match began, and the mid rollout was called. Our regular scout made his call for where he was going, and dlfame needed no instruction; he simply processed this information along with every other bit he picked up one, from the time left on the map to the ever-changing sensitivity of his mouse. By the time the midfight was over, we were giddy with confidence. dflame had yet to secure a kill, but I was sure it was just because he was serving the team the points, calculating every distance, his endless hours in MGE mod allowing him to know precisely when to stop shooting an opponent and let a teammate pick up a kill.

When we reached the second point, dflame valiantly ran ahead, throwing himself into the enemy's last point alone, willing to take on the hard work while the rest of us sat back and capped. I nearly wept at his bravery, his willingness to carry such a lowly open team as ours.

Suddenly, though, things would change. Something went wrong with dflame's plan; he died without killing all six of them, without killing even one of them, and there was a shrill voice in mumble, explaining what happened. It must have been the lag, it must have been! This stupid server, with its terrible routing to him! How dare we bring him to a server that gives him such a terrible ping! Why oh why did we pick the server that wouldn't register his shot at the most crucial moment!

I was scared. His loud, angry speech in mumble worried me, it felt directed at me. I could feel the rage, the hatred penetrating our mumble, I nearly broke down in tears of a different kind from earlier. We had failed him. I should have been there, I should have left the control point to take the shot for him, to eat up the bullets while he did his job, I should have helped him when the game wouldn't. He promptly left the server and mumble both, after a long string of swear words. I was speechless. We politely "gg"'d the enemy team and excused ourselves from the scrim. It was over. How could we have come so close and let victory slip through our very fingerS?

I cried for so long that night. I couldn't help it. I had failed to impress, to even be tolerable for him. dflame, I am sorry, I am so sorry. I never should have let you play for such a low team. I never should have disappointed you. Please forgive me and my team, we will never bother you again.



---



And then it hit me. The soldier that I killed wasn't even in the server. In fact, he wasn't even an active player. The last time I had seen him was over a year ago. Possibly on gravelpit. Oh my god. Fucking stickies, fucking ridiculous, put them up anywhere on the map, leave the server, detonate over a year later, and get a kill.



---

An American fig farmer hired a young Chinese child to harvest figs and carry them from the trees to storage. While the child was a good climber, he lacked the strength to carry the figs efficiently, and the farmer hired a second boy, a Mexican, to transport the figs while the first child picked them. The second boy fared better, but was not moving figs fast enough to keep up with the rate of picking. A third boy, a German child, observed the situation, approached the farmer and said "I can do better than him." The farmer replaced the Mexican with the German. While the German did indeed do better, he still couldn’t quite keep up with the rate of picking. A fourth boy, of Irish descent, approached the farmer and said "I used to be a caddy for my father’s boss, I can do better." The farmer replaced the German with the Irishman. The Irish boy fared better yet, and could almost transport all the figs that the Mexican boy picked, but not quite. A travelling salesman noticed the situation and approached the farmer.

"Look, I have a robot here that specializes in load transportation. He can even communicate with humans!"

The farmer, with a skeptical eye, turned to the robot and said "You think you can do better than all of my previous helpers?"

The robot turned his head, took a look at the Irish boy, who was so exhausted that he was sleeping on the dirt path with figs strewn about him. He looked back at the farmer, and his robotic voice uttered:

"BETTER THAN FIG CADDY MICK."



A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

'y4 bl0w', says the rabbi to the priest.



An old man walks into a run-down bar and says "I'll have the black banjo."

The portly bartender says "I haven't heard of that one."

The man replies "It's one part vodka, one part club soda, and ten parts giant faggot."



A woman attends a horse race and places a large bet on #15, Roaring Thunder, who she had heard was supposed to win. She takes her seat and the race begins, but she is horrified to see that the horse she had poured so much money on was oversized and washed up. Furious, she complains to the man sitting next to her about how she heard Roaring Thunder was the favorite to win. The man replies "Ma'am, #15 is oplaid."



An old man walks into a run-down bar and says "Give me a shot of Jaeger." The portly bartender fills a shot glass and gives it to the man, to which he replies "This is Jagermeister. I ordered a Jaeger, which is very similar to the drink I ordered from you yesterday."



NA soldier: "Hey man, I think some of your keys might be broken."

EU soldier: "Why o you sy tht? My keybor is working fine."



A woman walks into a run-down bar and says “Please give me a shot of Jaeger.”

The portly bartender panics, as another customer has exhausted his Jaeger ingredients. He asks the woman to wait a minute, and consults his manager. His manager says “Give her this, and nobody will know the difference,” as he hands him one part vodka, one part club soda, and ten parts Fat Indian Dude.



Vhalin walks into a drug store. “Too bad that that drug store wasn’t a wall of spikes”, said the entire TF2 community.



ehFk, Glue, and TrainRiderJ all go to a carnival, and begin talking about their experience running leagues while walking around and watching the children play.

“I’ve had a lot of fun running TWL,” said TrainRiderJ. “It may not be as competitive, but it’s a great league for lower teams to learn the ropes and higher-level teams to have a bit of relaxed fun. How do you feel about ESEA, ehFk?”

“Well, things aren’t always as smooth as they could be, but ESEA is still the premier league for invite-level competition and money prizes,” he replied as they passed the Ferris wheel. “We sure get a lot of criticism, but it’s hard not to when you’re in our position. What about you, Glue, what are your thoughts on CEVO?”

Silence. That’s when they realized that Glue hadn’t even been following them, as he had found someone to heal when entering the carnival and had not moved an inch for the last 30 minutes.



Team Fortress 2



---



1:54 AM - hf.vhalin: yo dude when i get on your connection
1:54 AM - hf.vhalin: i warp just fine
1:55 AM - hf.vhalin: but then when im around the other team for too long
1:55 AM - hf.vhalin: my ping shoots way up
1:55 AM - hf.vhalin: anyway to fix this
1:55 AM - hf.vhalin: do you raise your interp pretty high when youre warping?
2:06 AM - coL.enigma: which method are you using
2:06 AM - coL.enigma: are you using the patched qos packet scheduler
2:08 AM - hf.vhalin: im using a firewall
2:08 AM - hf.vhalin: to limit packets by application
2:08 AM - hf.vhalin: software
2:08 AM - coL.enigma: wouldn't do that
2:08 AM - coL.enigma: you want mine and fanom's method?
2:09 AM - hf.vhalin: ya dude, just trying to fix my damn connection
2:09 AM - hf.vhalin: get the best out of it
2:09 AM - hf.vhalin: f/ucking california internet
2:09 AM - coL.enigma: have to check with him
2:09 AM - coL.enigma: don't want to make this public
2:12 AM - hf.vhalin: can you do it by port though?
2:12 AM - hf.vhalin: if you cant do it by application
2:12 AM - hf.vhalin: because i would imagine that f/ucks up other s/hit too
2:12 AM - coL.enigma: not that i know of
2:12 AM - hf.vhalin: like mumble
2:15 AM - hf.vhalin: well using this firewall
2:15 AM - hf.vhalin: would be beneficial
2:15 AM - hf.vhalin: to whatever youre using
2:15 AM - hf.vhalin: but the ping just shoots up too high when im near people
2:15 AM - hf.vhalin: any ideas?
2:16 AM - coL.enigma: not familiar with any other method
2:16 AM - coL.enigma: i get okay to decent reg while warping
2:16 AM - coL.enigma: don't have issues with mumble at all though
2:16 AM - hf.vhalin: my reg is fine, until im around the other team for more than 5 seconds
2:16 AM - hf.vhalin: what interp do you use?
2:17 AM - coL.enigma: .5
2:17 AM - coL.enigma: that's the max value i think
2:17 AM - hf.vhalin: wow
2:17 AM - hf.vhalin: i was using .02 then tried .15 and i was like fff no better
2:17 AM - coL.enigma: you need it though
2:17 AM - coL.enigma: especially since you're dropping so many packets
2:17 AM - hf.vhalin: do you limit download rate too?
2:17 AM - hf.vhalin: or just upload?
2:17 AM - coL.enigma: up
2:18 AM - hf.vhalin: yeah same
2:18 AM - hf.vhalin: what about ingame rates?
2:18 AM - hf.vhalin: do you mess with those at all?
2:18 AM - coL.enigma: have a script that toggles through cl_updaterate values
2:19 AM - hf.vhalin: you wanna send that this way?"
2:19 AM - coL.enigma: have to ask fanom
2:19 AM - coL.enigma: he's afk
2:21 AM - hf.vhalin: what good does said script do anyways?
2:21 AM - hf.vhalin: like how often
2:21 AM - hf.vhalin: does it change values
2:21 AM - coL.enigma: forgot how many waits are in there
2:21 AM - hf.vhalin: wait command isnt even allowed
2:21 AM - hf.vhalin: ??
2:21 AM - coL.enigma: ?
2:21 AM - hf.vhalin: its not
2:21 AM - hf.vhalin: youre trolling me here
2:22 AM - coL.enigma: i don't do it in matches
2:22 AM - coL.enigma: lol
2:22 AM - coL.enigma: have rcon to servers we scrim on
2:22 AM - hf.vhalin: cevo match?
2:22 AM - coL.enigma: i don't do it matches
2:22 AM - coL.enigma: ..
2:22 AM - hf.vhalin: cevo match
2:22 AM - hf.vhalin: vs ducky
2:22 AM - hf.vhalin: i mean its vs ducky
2:22 AM - hf.vhalin: so its evening the playing field
2:22 AM - hf.vhalin: BUUUUUUUUUT
2:22 AM - coL.enigma: ?
2:22 AM - hf.vhalin: yeah
2:22 AM - coL.enigma: i don't do it matches at all
2:22 AM - hf.vhalin: you were warping in that cevo match
2:22 AM - hf.vhalin: ehh
2:23 AM - hf.vhalin: everyone was speccing you in that cevo match vs a51
2:23 AM - coL.enigma: probably was torrenting v
2:23 AM - coL.enigma: that's a more reliable way to warp but you can't really
2:23 AM - coL.enigma: control it
2:25 AM - hf.vhalin: youre trolling
2:25 AM - hf.vhalin: and failing
2:25 AM - coL.enigma: Q_Q
2:25 AM - hf.vhalin: indeed
2:25 AM - coL.enigma: don't actually warp intentionally
2:25 AM - coL.enigma: rofl
2:25 AM - hf.vhalin: right
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: you dont have the same internet as fanom
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: I DO
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: yet
2:26 AM - coL.enigma: ..yet
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: the only two scouts that warp have been butt buddies since NS
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: and htey have different connections
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: NO ONE ELSE HAS WARPED
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: i remember playing against fanom just fine
2:26 AM - coL.enigma: uh
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: back in that joke cevo team
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: we used to scrim you guys
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: late at night
2:26 AM - coL.enigma: didn't know fanom until like 5 months ago
2:26 AM - hf.vhalin: when you had virulent on sniper
2:27 AM - hf.vhalin: you guys used to be scout partner
2:27 AM - hf.vhalin: s
2:27 AM - coL.enigma: wasn't even him
2:27 AM - coL.enigma: was elfkiller
2:27 AM - hf.vhalin: no, elf killers been on my friendslist since longer
2:27 AM - coL.enigma: you realize fanom is never here right?
2:27 AM - coL.enigma: he's had night classes every single semester
2:27 AM - coL.enigma: elf played pretty much 2/3 of our matches on his account
2:27 AM - hf.vhalin: thats why hes a fanom
2:27 AM - coL.enigma: probably still did it for pandemic
2:28 AM - hf.vhalin: its cevo
2:28 AM - hf.vhalin: but f/uck no he wouldnt do it for pandemic
2:28 AM - hf.vhalin: and im talking about scrims
2:28 AM - hf.vhalin: not matches
2:28 AM - coL.enigma: ..he scrimmed with us the majority of the time too
2:28 AM - hf.vhalin: no that was fanom
2:28 AM - coL.enigma: why would we have him play most of our matches without having him practice
2:29 AM - hf.vhalin: sting was on my team
2:29 AM - coL.enigma: i'm speculating about pandemic
2:29 AM - coL.enigma: i have no idea
2:29 AM - hf.vhalin: we asked sting
2:29 AM - hf.vhalin: "Did fanom do this in cevo?"
2:29 AM - hf.vhalin: and we scrimmed against you guys
2:29 AM - hf.vhalin: no such warping
2:30 AM - coL.enigma: look
2:30 AM - coL.enigma: i
2:30 AM - coL.enigma: cannot
2:30 AM - coL.enigma: tell
2:30 AM - coL.enigma: you
2:30 AM - coL.enigma: how we do it
2:30 AM - coL.enigma: us and only us
2:30 AM - coL.enigma: :)
2:30 AM - hf.vhalin: then ill figure it out myself
2:30 AM - hf.vhalin: and post it publicly
2:30 AM - hf.vhalin: and take all the credit
2:30 AM - coL.enigma: good luck
2:31 AM - hf.vhalin: ty
2:31 AM - hf.vhalin: im half way there, i just need to get rid of the ping spikes

2:33 AM - hf.vhalin: how about we share hacks
2:33 AM - coL.enigma: pass

2:37 AM - hf.vhalin: its gotten to a point where its like sports steroids, people care, but then people dont really care/cant prove s/hit
2:37 AM - coL.enigma: juice up then

---