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  1. This is an anecdote explaining the manner in which my way of life was
  2. rotated along a Y axis until it reached a position roughly 180 degrees
  3. from that which it started. If I could have 60 seconds of your time,
  4. simply place your posterior in the selected location, and I will relate
  5. to you the details of how I was made the male monarch of the district
  6. of the City of Los Angeles, California located at coordinates 34.08333
  7. -118.44778.
  8.  
  9.  
  10. In the western region of the “City of Brotherly Love” known as
  11. Philadelphia, my mother expelled me from her womb and indeed that is
  12. also where I spent my childhood, in my mother’s care. The majority of
  13. my time was spent in a recreational area containing such diversions as
  14. a jungle gym, swing set, sand box, etc. I was typically at the height
  15. of leisure while frequently at a temperature slightly below what might
  16. be considered standard room temperature. Outside of my educational
  17. institution I was engaging in a game of basketball with some of my
  18. peers, when two gentlemen who seemed to be of the disposition to cause
  19. a great deal of mischief began causing a great deal of chaos and
  20. disharmony in the area in which I lived. I was involved in one rather
  21. small bout of fisticuffs after which my mother became concerned for my
  22. general safety and well-being, and she informed me that I would be
  23. moving in with her sister and her sister’s husband in the previously
  24. mentioned community located at the previously mentioned location.
  25.  
  26.  
  27.  
  28. I implored my mother to relent approximately 24-48 hours ago, yet she
  29. gathered my belongings in a somewhat flat, rectangular shaped piece of
  30. luggage and expelled me from her presence. She placed her lips upon my
  31. cheek in an affectionate manner and handed me a pre-purchased pass for
  32. public transportation. I placed the headphones for my personal music
  33. system into my ears and verbalized the idea that I may as well impact
  34. this situation with my foot. Traveling in the highest available level
  35. of comfort, this is indeed an unfortunate situation (although I make
  36. this statement with some irony). Consuming the juices obtained by the
  37. squeezing of the fruit of a Citrus sinensis from a piece of glass
  38. stemware commonly reserved for the sipping of sparkling wine
  39. originating from the Champagne region of France, I pause to wonder if
  40. this is indeed how the residents of the admittedly upper-class
  41. neighborhood located at the previously mentioned location commonly
  42. live. Indeed, I find this situation may be rather to my enjoyment.
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